Stede / Headcanon. - Tumblr Posts

important note that  buttons  is stede’s first mate,  &  he will stay that way as long as he is a part of the crew. if they all stay on one ship together, izzy will stay as edward’s first mate  &  buttons will stay as stede’s.  if two captains, then two first mates.

it’s the way stede literally didn’t care if he lived or died at the beginning of the series, as shown by him saying “that’s a tough question” when asked by olu if he wants to live.  stede left mary  &  his children because he wanted to have a story of his own to tell,  &  if he it ended in his death, that was honestly fine in his mind, because it’s not like they actually wanted him around or would miss him. it’s the way he does not argue,  &  even says he “completely agrees” when chauncey tells him that he’s “a monster, a plague, who befouls beautiful things,”  &  doesn’t even try to physically defend himself from him, likely would have let himself be shot if he hadn’t tripped. &  it’s the way that this complete  &  utter lack of self-worth is ultimately what ends up hurting ed in the end, because stede genuinely believes that no one  —  even ed,  &  yes,  even after the beach scene  —  could possibly be hurt or even disappointed by his absence.  so it’s fine  &  actually better if he doesn’t go  &  meet up with ed, since he was only holding him back anyway &  nearly, in chauncey’s words, “brought history’s greatest pirate to ruin.” 

some a lot of thoughts re: stede in s2 & the most recent episode pair in particular : — expect spoilers if you keep reading ! —

stede as a character has been both very interesting & a bit infuriating to me this season, & i will likely extrapolate most of these points into a more organized meta at some point, but i just really wanted to talk about some parts of his arc that i am finding particularly compelling at the moment, with a strong focus on the most recent two episodes. so without further ado, let's dive into my thoughts :

stede has always been absolutely desperate to be a "proper" respected pirate — that has been his primary self-fulfillment desire since before he met ed. & that is how their dynamic begins in s1 — with ed teaching him how to be more fearsome & earn both fear & respect.

the goal of being a "proper" pirate is heavily tied up with what i think is one of the most obvious (if not the penultimate) themes of the show: masculinity. & masculinity, as understood by the vast majority of pirates around him & as it is framed in in stede's childhood trauma ("this is what a man's work looks like"), revolves around violence & specifically the ability to kill. this has been one of stede's primary struggles over the series — his (& ed's) unwillingness to kill, which he is told repeatedly is reflective of his inability to live up to the ideals of masculinity.

so now, as of the most recent two episodes, he has finally achieved his goal from the first season of being a feared pirate in his own right, with the citizens of the republic of pirates are singing his praises & literally ready to die for him. & he achieved this status by "wasting ned low." so he is finally living up to that masculine ideal — & being handsomely rewarded for it, socially speaking.

but what no one save the crew of the revenge knows is that stede didn't gain the upper hand on ned using violence — he beat him by talking it through with his crew, & asking "what if it weren't like that" in regards to the toxic vibe ned had created on his ship. ned low was NOT taken down by violence — his killing was extraneous & unnecessary in the sense that the victory had already been won.

i think that it's very telling that stede sees a flash of that same childhood trauma when he kills ned. & watching that scene, it's obvious that in the moment, he didn't like it, it didn't feel good to kill someone who he didn't need to. but what does feel good is the attention he is getting from the pirate community at large. he's a leo ass bitch who loves the glory, & loves feeling like he's finally fitting into society ("the gentleman pirate's the dude!" after setting a man on fire), but i think that he has forgotten that he originally went to sea to escape those kinds of pressures. but toxic masculinity ideals permeate all aspects of society, including piracy, & stede has a very externally-motivated sense of self worth. so when he is praised for killing a man, he leans into it.

& what stede doesn't realize is that his crew (& ed) like him because he doesn't fit that masculine ideal, because he has a different way of doing things. i don't think it's a coincidence that jim & olu (the heart of the crew) decide they want to leave to travel with zheng (following their hearts) as soon as stede starts being That Guy who's all about his big bad pirate reputation.

i also don't think it's a coincidence that stede gets his ass utterly beaten by zheng so shortly after killing ned low. i saw a post about this already, so apologies to the person who i am paraphrasing, but when stede killed ned & thus became a "real pirate," he left the world of muppetry low-stakes tom-foolery that exists on the revenge behind, & became an actual pirate whose actions have actual consequences. the reason that the muppet tricks he used to beat izzy in the duel in s1 didn't work on zheng is because he's a real boy now — & real boys can bleed.

& when we consider how this all plays against ed, who is finally finally finally realizing that he doesn't have to (or want to) live that way, we see some really interesting parallels. looking at their early s2 reunion fantasies, we can see a dramatic difference in how they see an "ideal" stede. in stede's, he has a beard, he is wearing no fine silks or decorative clothes, and he kills izzy without any sign of remorse. but in ed's, stede is just this magical beautiful being that ed feels safe with & like he can breathe around.

i think it would be really silly to say that stede is leaning into these masculinity ideals because of ed — this has always been about him & how own insecurities. but i do think there is an element of 'this is what ed wants me to be' happening in his thoughts, even as ed desperately tries to tell him, over & over again, that's not what he needs or wants from a partner, & not what he loves about stede.

& this brings us, finally, to their canonical 'first time.' which i must confess, i have some mixed feelings about as a stede writer. yes, they clearly both wanted it in the moment, there was consent given. yes, it was sweet & romantic & hot with the fireworks & the song & all. & while stede did just kinda grab ed & interrupt him (after he brought up his father no less), given how the morning after scene went (& the fact that ed's spiraling didn't appear to really start until later at the republic of pirates), i think we can assume it was still an overall good experience for them both. but i also think that stede was very much acting in the spur of the moment & without full awareness. he says to izzy in episode 5 that he is "better in the field" & that "i just sorta black out & my body takes over," & i think that's actually very true. i think there was an element of that "blacking out" happening to him in this moment. he was feeling a lot of emotions — not least of which was the adrenaline & fear from having watched ed be tortured & potentially killed, which can absolutely result in an intense need for physical closeness — & his body just took over. & while that reaction is realistic & understandable, i do still kinda wish that he would have just been in a little more of a stable mindset, a little more present when they finally had sex for the first time — especially given how 24 hours ago, ed had asked him to take it slow. i think they both deserved that much.

all this is made more poignant by the simple fact that stede's behavior while initiating their first time is textbook masculine behavior. use no words, grab your lover bodily, shove them against the wall, & kiss them silly. & that's all well & fine — amazing even if that's what ed wants ! but does he ? we don't know for sure, because stede didn't actually ask. & this is indicative of the much deeper issues at play in their relationship which come to a head in their split in ep. 7: if they truly understand not just who their partner is, but who they want to be. & they cannot figure that out together if stede doesn't even know it about himself yet.

& the simple fact that ed is actually doing a lot more than stede at the moment to redefine his sense of worth & act in a way that honors his emotional & self-fulfillment needs even if it's outside his comfort zone is really telling to me about how deeply stede is in denial with himself about who he really is & what he really wants at this moment. i mean, even izzy is doing a better job deconstructing his masculinity & finding his self confidence at this point in the series — izzy ! come on, stede, you're being lapped by the slow horsey !

in conclusion... stede get your shit together challenge ! we will wait to see how the finale goes, but i really hope that he can come to understand that... he doesn't have to be That Guy, if he doesn't want to be. he doesn't have to kill or live up to some standard of manhood in order to be worth something. he was fine before, when he was still kinda soft & frilly. he was loved ! he was good enough ! edward loved him before, just like he was. even his crew found family had come to love & rally behind him, just as he was. & if he doesn't start to understand that he was fine the way he was, & stop trying to force himself into this little masculinity box to please the rest of the world, then i think he is at serious risk of losing both ed & the crew.

🪐 — STEDE BONNET: 𝕊𝔼𝕏, 𝔾𝔼ℕ𝔻𝔼ℝ & 𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼 ℍ𝔼𝔸𝔻ℂ𝔸ℕ𝕆ℕ𝕊 𝔽𝕆ℝ ℚ𝕌𝔼𝔼ℝ & 𝕂𝕀ℕ𝕂𝕐 𝕄𝕌𝕊𝔼𝕊

bold what does apply to your muse, italicize what applies in sometimes / some verses, strike through what never applies & leave regular what's indifferent to your muse!

♡   SEXUALITY: queer / gay / lesbian / bisexual / pansexual / omnisexual / asexual / androsexual / demisexual / fluid / non-labelled / graysexual / gynesexual / homosexual / monosexual / polysexual

♡   GENDER IDENTITY: cisgender / intersex / gender-nonconforming / transmasc / transfemme / transman / transwoman / nonbinary / gender-fluid / genderqueer / agender / demi-girl / demi-boy / bigender / pangender / omnigender / two-spirit  

♡  DATING PREFERENCES: monogamous / ethically nonmonogamous / monogamish / relationship anarchy / open relationships / polyamorous / doesn't date / dates casually

♡   ATTACHMENT STYLE: secure / anxious preoccupied / dismissive avoidant / fearful-avoidant / disorganised

♡   SEXUAL INCLINATIONS: sex favourable / sex adverse / sex indifferent / hypersexual / sex-repulsed / bottom / top / versatile / vers bottom / vers top / service top / power bottom / stone top / pillow princess / submissive / dominant / switch / brat / baby girl/boy / soft dom / pleasure dom / caregiver

♡   LOVE LANGUAGES / STYLES: words of affirmation (giving) / quality time (receiving) / acts of service / receiving gifts / physical touch / activity / appreciation / emotional / financial / intellectual / physical / practical

♡   PHYSICAL ACTS OF INTIMACY: holding hands / kissing / cuddling / massages / bathing together / washing partner's hair / skin on skin contact / forehead kisses / playing under the table (e.g. hand on thigh, footsy etc) / playing with partner's hair / playful tickling / seeking them out in bed to hold / eye contact / reading or singing to your partner / being read or sung to / napping together / couch cuddles while doing separate activities (head in lap etc)

♡    KINKS & TURN ON'S: dirty talk / quiet in bed / loud in bed / having hands pinned / pinning partners hands / having hair pulled / pulling partners hair / being watched / watching their partner / voyeurism / receiving oral sex /  giving oral sex / receiving penetration / giving penetration / praise kink / biting / marking up your partner / being marked up / impact play / edge play / teasing / being teased / using toys on their partner / having toys used on them / choking / being choked / being restrained / restraining their partner / shibari / breeding kink / piss kink / worshipping their partner / being worshipped / humiliating / being humiliated / degrading / being degraded / pegging / being pegged / frotting / face sitting / dom/sub dynamics / DDLG dynamics / aftercare / anal / bdsm / light bondage / outdoor sex / sensory deprivation / roleplay  / rough sex / threesomes / wax play / sensory play (eg. pinwheels etc) / knife play / blood play / caging / cbt / sounding / collars / exhibitionism / rimming / pet play / dressing up for partner / partner dressing up for them / daddy kink / mommy kink / master/slave dymanics

Tagged peer pressured into it by : @shadowcovcn Tagging : feel free to steal it from me, pals !