Sorry It Did Get Raunchy - Tumblr Posts

“You don’t want to fuck?” She sounded offended.

“No,” He blurted out without thinking, “I mean yes, but–”

Logan kissed him, grabbed his face between her hands and sucked the second half of Wade’s sentence down her throat. No, this wasn’t right, he was supposed to play the long game – passive aggressive comments about how she’d left him without even saying goodbye after their one-night stand, followed by her finally cracking under the guilt of abandoning her one true love, and then they’d finally smash to the background noise of Victor’s jealous howls after which he’d propose and–

Logan grabbed his wrists and stuck Wade’s hands under her shirt, right over those massive tatas, and his head went blank.

He came to, probably a few minutes later, Wade couldn’t really tell, to Logan’s soft wet gasps in his ear, her breath warm and damp against the side of his face. It was so fucking humid in the cramped tent, their sweaty limbs slipping and sliding as he pushed his hips repeatedly into the v of her spread thighs. Wade tugged at one of Logan’s nipples with his teeth and felt her cunt squeeze around his dick. She dragged him up by the hair and they exchanged another sloppy kiss with too much spit.

“G-Gonna come,” Logan stuttered, legs coiling tighter around Wade’s hips, “fuck, yes, don’t stop.”

He reached down and after a few fumbling tries, managed to find her clit in the slippery mess of slick and sweat soaking the absolute beast of a bush down under. Wade dug the pad of his thumb in and rubbed hard. It was mean and petty and probably hurt like a son of bitch, but her shocked cry was accompanied by a torrential gush of warm wetness between them. Logan’s pussy spasmed uncontrollably over his cock as she climaxed. Those weird-ass bone claws shot out of her knuckles a little too close to Wade’s unprotected jugular for his comfort, but he kept up the heavy thrusts, panting into Logan’s chest as he chased his own pleasure.

Somewhere in the back of Wade’s head, a little voice reminded him that other people were sleeping within hearing distance. He was surprised no one had woken up from the ruckus and come out to investigate why their only female team member was yowling like a cat in heat and flooding their campground with her squirt.

“Shit, pull out,” Logan smacked him on his shoulder, “don’t come inside me.”

“What? Oh.”

He didn’t quite make it in time. Logan cursed under her breath and lifted up onto her forearms to peer at the thick glob of semen leaking out of her hole.

“Now Victor’s gonna smell you in me tomorrow, you stupid fuck,” She complained, aiming a half-hearted kick at his softening dick.

“And he’s not going to if I came on you instead?” Wade rolled his eyes, catching Logan’s foot before she could cause real damage to his little buddy. “What are you, Mormon now?” He squeezed her ankle and frowned, “and I thought you of all people would hate being treated like property. It’s not the 1800s.”

“He’s just being overly protective. We’re all we've got.”

“It’s weird, unless you’re from Alabama, which I guess makes more sense.”

“I’m Canadian.”

“Just like me,” Wade said, brushing a little kiss against the inside of her leg, “told you we’re soulmates.”

Logan pushed herself upright and leaned into Wade’s space. In the darkness, she scanned his face with her eyes. “What you said earlier, did you mean it?”

“I love you,” He said simply, peering back.

That got an explosive laugh out of Logan. “You love me. After one night?”

“Two now,” He gestured between them.

She patted his cheek, “cute.”

“I’m serious.”

“Sure,” Logan said, condescending, and kissed his mouth one more time before rising to her feet, still mostly nude, and shook herself off like a dog.

She did that sometimes. It was a little less wild, rabid wolfman than Victor’s running on all fours gimmick, but not by much. And Logan was certainly not delicate or ladylike by a long shot. She was roughly his height and probably the same weight if not heavier. Wade wondered why he was so into her. Probably some unexplored childhood trauma crosswiring his brain. Maybe his undiagnosed mommy issues. Or the uncles. Oh, perhaps he’d watched too much tentacle hentai and clown porn as a teenager.

“You’re just gonna walk out like that and flash everyone your vagina?” He asked Logan when she lifted his tent flap.

“No one’s awake, dumbass,” She rolled her eyes, “I can hear heartbeats.”

“At least– Logan, where are you even going?”

“There’s a river half a mile south of here. Gotta wash your ball juice out before the rest of the team wakes up. Wanna come with?”

“Jesus, woman, put some pants on first!”

She didn’t listen, and they ended up fucking in the ice-cold river until the sun came up, and to add insult to injury, Logan stole Wade’s pants, which he’d had the wise and responsible foresight to wear, and ran off before he could grab her.

“Yeah, laugh it up,” He muttered when he finally stumbled back to base naked from the waist down, one hand cupped over his junk and the other shielding his ass, and walked into the entire team, all dressed and ready to depart.

“What the hell happened to you?” Stryker shouted when he saw what they were staring at.

“Would you believe me if I said a bear stole my pants while I was sleepwalking?”

“This is Africa, there are no bears,” Zero said. Victor narrowed his eyes and turned to frown suspiciously at his sister.

“Wow, what a nerd. Way to play into the Asian stereotype, J-Hope,” Wade scoffed, “Someone give me a pair of pants unless your eyes want to get real intimate with my dick and balls. My nose is starting to itch.”

As Wade had expected, he came down with a vicious cold the very next day. His bitch had the audacity to laugh in his face before offering him a tissue.

genderswap AU (always a woman!Logan x Wolverine Origins!Wade)

A related thought I had a few days ago.

Warnings for the below - mentions of past child SA from Wade's uncle.

"Icebreaker question, when did everyone lose their v-cards?" Wade asked as annoyed groans broke out all around the campfire. Their new CO stood and walked off into the pitch black night without so much as a wave for good night.

Rude.

"Alright, now that the 80-year-old virgin has left the chat, how about the rest of you handsome devils, hmm?" He grinned at the sullen faces reflected in the fire's glow, shiny with sweat and gun oil and probably dried blood. "Oh, come on. I'm just trying to get to know my new teammates better. We just annihilated a whole ass village together, time to whip out some mimosas, gossip about our sordid pasts and braid Victor's chest hair."

Victor's jaw twitched as he zipped his vest up over that impressive plumage. The woman sitting next to him, the only woman in their little ragtag team of homicidal freaks mind you, snorted and lifted the lukewarm beer she'd been nursing for the past fifteen minutes up to her face. He watched her take a long swallow, some of the foamy white liquid sloshing over the corners of her mouth and meandering lazily down the olive skin of her exposed neck.

Fred cleared his throat, "sixteen. She was my high school sweetheart."

"Sickening," Wade commented after a pause, ripping his gaze off of Logan and picking up his own forgotten beer, "I'd like to say twenty," a few disbelieving laughs echoed through the men, "but officially, twelve and a half, to a weird uncle on my dad's side at a Christmas party."

Zero made a face.

"Why twenty?" John asked from beside him.

"Oh just because of how earth-shatteringly good it was," He kicked his legs out and rolled his shoulders back, acutely aware of Logan's eyes on him across the flickering fire, "you see, I was but a simple innocent Canadian boy before I met her. After, I emerged a man."

"You are so fucking weird," said Zero.

"Hush, Jimin, I'm telling the story here."

"Jesus."

"My car, well, it technically wasn't my car. I stole it off of a drug dealer south of the border, but I digress. Anyway, it had broken down on the side of the road in Albuquerque, in the middle of buttfuck nowhere and I was seriously contemplating trading my tight ass or hot mouth for a ride to the nearest town when my goddess, my princess in shining uh- plaid shirt and jeans, came barreling down the dirt path in this rusty pile of scrap metal-"

"Your princess sounds like a dude," Fred interrupted. "It was a man, wasn't it? I can already see the punchline coming from a mile away."

"Are you gay?" Zero asked, "you seem pretty gay."

Chris, who had been listening quietly next to Logan this whole time, finally choked on his drink and dissolved into a coughing fit. She reached over and thumped him a few times on the back, her gaze never leaving Wade's face. He stared back.

"Sorry to disappoint, Suga sweetie, but I'm strictly into pussy due to the creepy uncles."

Zero's nose scrunched. "Ugh."

"Anywho, out hopped this beast of a woman," Wade went on, “she was fucking gorgeous, legs for days and tits the size of my head-"

"Singular or combined?"

Wade gawked at him. "Fred, what the fuck?"

"What?" He shrugged, "your head's not that big, Wade."

"This is a shitty story," Zero complained, folding his arms over his chest.

"As big as Logan's melons, ok? Stop interrupting me."

Everyone turned to stare at Logan, whose breasts strained against the sweat-stained wifebeater she was wearing, one black bra strap peeking out from over her left shoulder. She lifted an eyebrow at them and took another sip of beer. Beside Logan, Victor growled, sounding like a backed up motorcycle.

"That's pretty big," Fred finally nodded, "go on."

(Taking a short break from work to relax my brain and free write a bit. Yes, the mystery woman from Wade's story is Logan. They hooked up before they ran into each other again with Team X.)