Sirius Angst - Tumblr Posts

Congratulations on reaching a new milestone! So so proud of you! 💜

May i request a little blurb? I came up with my own prompt, I hope that's okay.

Sirius + "Don't make a girl a promise, if you know you can't keep it" 💜

Thank you, lovely ^^ I don't mind writing for your own prompt, so don't worry :D Though I hope you don't mind I decided on the place since you didn't add that to your request :) Also, this is probably not what you imagined, but I like to twist things around and I kind of ran away with it :D

Unbroken promise [Sirius Black x Female!Reader]

Published: 1 September 2021 Word count: 0.9k Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Prompt: "Don't make a girl a promise, if you know you can't keep it"

One whole hour. 60 minutes. 3600 seconds. That's how long you have been waiting in front of the little muggle restaurant Sirius promised to take you to. But he was nowhere to be found. After all the week-long missions he had to attend, you just wanted to spend some quality time with him. You knew the war was closing in on you and you couldn't be selfish enough to take Sirius away from what could potentially save millions of people, but you needed him too.

A sudden voice calling your name made you jump, awakening you from your thoughts. Looking over your shoulder, you found Remus standing behind you, his face pale, almost grim. As if your heart could process what your brain couldn't just yet, it started raging anxiously.

"What are you doing here, Remus?" You asked, but he didn't answer. Instead he offered his hand to you, waiting for you to take it. A deep frown spread across your brows as you tilted your head, questioning the meaning of his presence, his gesture, his exhausted gaze. Your heart fluttered uneasily, uncertainty settling in the pit of your stomach. You knew something wasn't right. Heaving a heavy sigh, you accepted Remus' gesture and placed your hand in his palm, letting him drag you across the street to a dark alley. Before you could have even objected, he apparated with a strong hold around your hand, not daring to lose you.

Within seconds you found yourself at the Order's headquarter. Your frown grew deeper as you looked around, studying your surroundings. "What are we doing here, Remus?" Without a reply, he simply led you inside the house, pulling you up the stairs, before he halted in front of a black, wooden door. You were tired of the silence, the secrecy, you needed answers, but once Remus opened the door, you wished you didn't ask for them.

The room was barely lit by the dim lamp on the nightstand, but you couldn't have mistaken the person laying across the king-sized bed, his head wrapped in a white bandage, his eyes shut tight as though he was battling against the pain. Your legs led you inside, even before you could have realised.

Taking a seat on the edge of the mattress, you reached for his face to brush away a lock of black, silky hair, damp from sweat and tucked it behind his ear, whilst gently holding his other hand. Your heart thundered under your ribs, your own skin feeling tighter than usual. Seeing the love of your life injured, unsure of his condition made you feel useless. Without realising your own tears, they slowly escaped down your cheeks, leaving a trail of proof of their existence.

"Is— is he going to be okay?" You asked Remus in a hushed whisper without looking away from Sirius, your voice shaking regardless of trying to sound strong.

"Yes, it's nothing major," he said, earning a simple nod from you, accompanied by a relieved sigh.

Sirius stirred under the heavy duvet, a silent groan leaving his lungs. His lushes fluttered once, twice, before his eyes focused on you and a soft smile spread across his paler than usual face. "Hey," his voice was strained as though he was screaming for hours. His gaze moved to Remus who still stood in the doorway, but once his eyes met Sirius’, the door shut and Remus' receding footsteps echoed from the corridor.

"I hate you," you whispered weakly, your words more of a plea.

But he understood, his smile unfaltering. "I'm fine," he reached up to your face and cupped your cheek. "I'm alright."

"I still hate you," you repeated, relief-filled tears sliding down your face. "You promised to take me out on a date. A date that would take my breath away," you murmured, unwilling to raise your voice, fearing it was a dream to have him beside you with what seemed to be only a minor injury.

"I did, I'm sorry," he replied with a pained expression.

"You are a liar!" You said as tears continued to roll down your cheeks. "Don't make a girl a promise, if you know you can't keep it," your voice hitched. Sirius attempted to push himself into a seated position, but your hands stopped him, gently forcing him down. "Don't you dare move. You need to rest," though you were meant to be stern, your words were nothing but a plea.

"I didn't mean to break my promise," he shook his head.

"You still did, so I'm going to give you one more chance,” you sniffled, waiting for a reply.

"Anything you want, love," his voice was soft, a gentle smile dancing in the corner of his lips.

"Good, because you’re going to have to promise me a lot,” you pouted as you wiped the remaining tears from the corner of your eyes. “Promise me that you will always come back to me. Promise me that you will live for me. Promise me that the next time we plan to do something together, it won't be Remus coming to get me just to tell me you're— that you are—," you couldn't even finish the sentence.

"I promise you. I promise you I will come back to you. I promise you I'll fight just to see that gorgeous smile of yours again. I promise you I'll come home just to wrap my arms around you, to show you that I'm still here and I don't intend to ever leave you," although they were only words, you believed them. You needed to believe them.

"I still hate you," you whispered as you buried your forehead in the curve of his neck.

"I love you too," he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss on your head.

Heloise's 3.5k Followers Sleepover and Writing Challenge

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist

𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞

𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐟!𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞.

𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. |𝟏.𝟕𝐤|

|𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭|

Sirius looked like hell the night he ran away from Grimmauld Place. His eyes were hollow, missing their sparkle, he was thin, basically skin and bone and covered in bruises. His lip was split, dried blood crusting around his chin and the corner of his mouth. His bones and muscles were tight, like he was a toy tightly wound, something my mother had told us, with nausea written all over her face, was a side effect of the extended use of the Cruciatus Curse.

I cried, James cried, my parents cried, but weirdly, Sirius never cried. It was like he was numb, sat in front of our fire place, wrapped in a Gryffindor blanket. His eyes were blank as he watched the flames, waited for the pain relief potion that my father made for him to kick in. When it was decided that Sirius would be living with us for the foreseeable future, Sirius looked relieved.

We'd known living with Walburga and Orion Black wasn't easy, we knew they were abusive, vindictive, and it had pained us to watch him return there every summer. But this had drawn a line, marked the end of Sirius' ability to withhold the abuse. He'd snapped and he'd run to safety, to us.

He sat in front of the fire for hours that night, James by his side, silently waiting for his best friend to start talking. I went to bed, cried and cried and cried because my heart ached for him.

Sirius Black had the biggest heart. He was so caring, so smart, so brave. And seeing him reduced to a shell of himself, after only spending a month with his family, broke my heart into pieces that I wasn't sure could ever be placed back together.

Things got worse in the days that followed. Sirius was weak, he wouldn't eat, and when he did, he couldn't hold anything down. My mother spent half her time fussing over him and the other half sending owls to everyone she knew at the ministry, trying to figure out a plan to help keep Sirius protected within our family, and especially when we returned to Hogwarts after the summer. I gave him space, watching from afar as he withered away, lost his personality, spent all of his time staring at walls or into the flames of the fire. James, on the other hand, clung to him like a damned koala. I knew he was only worried, his best friend had shown up on our door step only nights previous and practically collapsed through the front door.

On the Monday after Sirius came to us, James arranged for Remus and Peter to spend the rest of the summer at our house. It perked Sirius up a little, to know that his friends were rallying around him and while he'd abandoned the family he'd had all his life in running away, he had a family here waiting for him, waiting to smother him in love and care. My mother heard back from a woman in the protective services within the ministry, who assured my mother that Sirius would remain safe with us. Walburga Black wasn't about to put herself under scrutiny for a boy who'd disgraced the Black name by being sorted into Gryffindor. He wasn't worth it to her.

A war was brewing, every one knew it, and the Blacks couldn't cause any unwanted attention before it was due their time.

Sirius would stay with us. He'd be safe.

Yet, I still found myself tossing and turning at night, my mind constantly reeling. I couldn't stop picturing Sirius, alone and scared, wondering how much longer he could withhold Walburga's wrath. I worried for what would happen if she ever saw him again, if he ever decided he, for some reason, wanted to go back. I was terrified for him, spending my every waking moment worrying and planning and breaking my heart.

The digital clock on my night stand read three am, blinking bright red and irritating my tired eyes. Sleep refused to come to me, no matter how tired I was. I sat up, rubbing my face, trying to clear my mind of the intrusive thoughts, the worries. The door opened, a head of messy black hair creeping around the dark oak wood and into my room. He looked even paler, even hollower in the dull light my fairy lights provided. He didn't say anything at first, only hovered nervously, like he was scared to come closer.

I watched him, tears in my eyes, willing him to come closer, to let me be near him, to just let me hold him. I'd waited, I'd given him space, a whole weeks worth. I'd waited for him to come to me, I'd let my brother be the one to comfort him in his time of need. But for my own sanity, I needed Sirius in my space, I needed him to be near me, to hear him breathing, to feel his heart beating.

"James' snoring is doing my head in." His voice even sounded different.

What he once would have said with humour and sarcasm as an excuse to sneak into my bedroom, he now said with sadness, emptiness. He was different, in every way.

"You share a dorm with him all school year." I point out, smiling despite the atmosphere.

"I know." An attempt at a cheeky smile graces Sirius' lips and I feel some of the pressure lift from my lungs.

He sits halfway up my bed, I pull my legs into my chest to give him more space. He doesn't seem to want that, because he tentatively grabbed for my hand. His skin was soft, hands bony. My lips wavered to a frown. He turned my palm upside in his hand, traced his index across the palm lines. I watched intently, let him do whatever he was doing. He was silent for a while, just looking at my hand in his.

"I'm sorry I've been distant." Sirius said quietly, placing my hand down on his lap.

I sighed softly, daring to squeeze his thigh gently. He seemed to relax, muscle memory taking over from his guarded stance.

"You're sorry? Sirius, you've been through hell and back. You could have shown up here swinging a bat in my direction and you'd have nothing to be sorry for."

He looked up at me, eyes snapping to look at mine, "I would never hurt you. Ever."

"I know, I know," I mumbled softly, squeezing gently again, "I know you would never. I'm just- You have nothing to be sorry for, Sirius."

He smiled to himself, shifting to sit next to me against my head board. He got under the covers, sat his hands in his lap. He studied the photo wall at the bottom of my bed, littered in photos of all of us. Photos from previous summers, photos of after quidditch parties, photos of sleepovers and christmases.

At the bottom, on its own, a photo of Sirius and I last Valentine's Day. We couldn't celebrate like everyone else, not without everyone finding out. But he'd taken me to the Astronomy tower, hustled a picnic from the kitchen elves and we watched the stars. He'd taken the photo of us, despite my worries that someone would find it. He promised no one would. He kept it taped to the inside of his trunk until the final day of term, and then he gave it to me, assured me I should take it over the summer, to remind me how much he loved me.

I wish I'd slipped it into his pocket, then. So that when he was alone, scared, he'd have known I was always with him.

"I missed you." He said, quietly, barely even there.

There were tears in his eyes for the first time since he came here - came home.

"I missed you, too."

He moved, slowly, his bones still stiff, moving closer to me and putting his arm over my shoulder. I fell into him, hugging my knees, head on his chest, just listening to his heart beat, beat, beating. I felt peaceful, the weight in my chest slowly retracting. He was home. He was safe. He was here. With me.

"There's a war brewing," His voice was soft, like he'd already made peace with the fact, "I made it clear what side I was on, Walburga didn't much like that."

His lips rested on top of my head, his nose breathing in the scent of my shampoo. He felt safe, relaxed, he knew it was over now. But for how long, with a war brewing?

"She used the Cruciatus Curse on you." I said.

It wasn't a question, it was a fact. One that broke my heart. She tortured him because she knew when the time came, Sirius would always pick the light in this world.

"She did." I felt him nod.

"I am so sorry."

"Not your fault. I'm safe now. I'm home." He pressed another kiss to the crown of my head, held me tighter.

It was like he was reminding himself. He was safe, he was home.

"You're safe. You're home." I whispered.

We lay down after that, Sirius ridding my bed of the display pillows. He opened his arms, insisting he just wanted to hold me, that he wanted to feel me, the weight of me, to ground him, remind him I was here, with him. I listen to his heart, beating steady, it lulls me to sleep. A peaceful sleep, my first one in weeks.

The creaking of my bedroom door wakes me up as the sun starts to creep through the window's drapes. My eyes blur, someone standing in the door way, but Sirius' hard chest is still underneath me. I blink, only to find James. If he's surprised or mad about finding his little sister in bed with his best friend, he doesn't say anything.

"He okay?" James asks.

"He's okay." I whisper, subconsciously moving closer.

Sirius tightens his arms, pressing a sleepy kiss to my forehead before falling back into sleep.

"You okay?" James asks, again.

"I'm okay." I nod.

He smiles. He understands. He shuts the door behind him on the way out.

"That went better than I expected." Sirius mumbles into the side of my head.

I laugh. For the first time in a week I laugh.

So does Sirius.