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Me, finally writing out Cindy's backstory after years of sitting on it: wow no surprise she turned out to be a fucking serial killer.

And on @.infernal-general, Rozy is having an aneurysm.

Do you shit fire? Asking for a friend

Questions of filth (now literally)

“Well I can't just say that to the plumbers.” 

Can you stick a fish in your coochie and it comes out burnt

Questions of filth

“Damn, why I never thought of that!”

“Why spend so much on takeout when I can do it myself AND don't burn down my kitchen during the process!”

Maybe I haven't revived Cindy sooner because I was trying to protect you.

Bet you're real happy that your muses had to deal with Rozy instead of this snappy, sassy, unapologetically chaotic little shit. Cherish the General once Cindy struts into Hell.

& an addition about the two on Lucifer

Seviathan

Striker @strikers-saloon

Sparrow

Karma is the exception.

The Véghvárys are fucking moronsexuals

“Hold my cosmic fire.”

“I am the chaotic lunatic of this bloodline.”

Pitch's robe is only held together by the power of PG rating.

Honestly ppl complained that ROTG made Jack Frost hot but no one talks about Tumblr Sex man Pitch, How Santa is a buff daddy, Bunnymund is a furry wetdream come true and the fact that the Tooth Fairy is thicker than a bowl of oatmeal

Oh this was too good of an opportunity.

“Well we don't get bluetooth, more like an emergency signal type of thing and it develops approximately after we had our first period in sync.”

“I don't know that, but something we should definitely try.”

“Yes as this sync doesn't happen for anatomy reasons but emotional ones as well. So yes it's possible.”

“Anything else?”

"Today I learned that when two women spend enough time around each other their periods sync up, so I have some questions.

1. When did coochies get a blue tooth feature?

2. If we got all the women in the world to hang out together and get their periods to sync up, could we kill god?

3. When two women are married to each other and their periods sync up, if one of them cheats does their coochie snitch on them?"

Bless him, she almost felt terrible for confirming his ridiculous beliefs. Almost.

“Yeah it's more like a gut feeling but when the situation is really serious it also can vibrate on occasion.” how can she say these without laughing is a mystery

“Well, if they spent a lot of time together and then part ways it doesn't disappear.”

phoenixborn​:

Oh this was too good of an opportunity.

“Well we don’t get bluetooth, more like an emergency signal type of thing and it develops approximately after we had our first period in sync.”

“I don’t know that, but something we should definitely try.”

“Yes as this sync doesn’t happen for anatomy reasons but emotional ones as well. So yes it’s possible.”

“Anything else?”

“Woooah.” he’s learning so many things!

“So wait- if it’s like an emergency signal, when an emergency does happen does it like vibrate to let you know or  is it more of a gut feeling? If you spend enough time apart does it un-sync and the bond is separated or is it permanent?” 

“When Seviathan brings his dad.”

Ah so

Seviathan x Erebus x Cindy threesome AND Hysteria x Sakuya x Cindy threesome when?

“Hey, it's still less awkward then when I fucked a snake demon and his grandson at the same time.”

“………….”

“What?”

“You ALWAYS do this, Sakuya! Every time there’s a girl I like you just HAVE to fuck her first.”

“Hey, it’s not EVERY time. ‘Sides we haven’t even fucked yet. And how is it MY fault we both have the same type? Maybe if you actually went for it instead of waiting like you always do we wouldn’t have this problem.”

“Fuckface.”

“Cocksucker.”

Trying so hard to not burst out laughing at the sudden silence followed by her statement.

“Can't believe for once in my life I successfully stopped a conflict between two people without murder.”

phoenixborn​:

“Hey, it’s still less awkward then when I fucked a snake demon and his grandson at the same time.”

“………..”

“…………”

Well, it seems that your journey has ended. Very sorry about that. It-it was always going to end this way, of course. If it weren’t by me, it would’ve just been by some other, y’know, terrible thing, just–you could not imagine how terrible it would be-just-I get scared thinkin’ about it. Glad it’s not me. Reminds me of a-of a time I was speaking to my good friend Orville. We were–we were sitting on a park bench watching the pigeons. I was on the left; he was on the r–wait, was I on the right? Or left? Anyways, it doesn’t matter. We were sitting on there watching the pigeons. And uh, -II said to Orville, ‘Friend, those birds are frozen, and he kinda looked at me like I’d lost my mind, but I reminded him that it was winter, y’know, and often birds will sit in a tree until they freeze then-then they y’know they sort of fall to the ground ‘til the sun warms up a-and they can y’know move around again. So I said to Orville, ‘you might as well save those breadcrumbs until the birds thaw, ‘cause they can’t very well enjoy them in the condition they’re in.’ To which he asked what I meant, and asking what condition the crumbs should be in before he threw them to the birds–assuming that I meant the birds couldn’t enjoy the breadcrumbs in the condition that the crumbs were in, when in fact I had meant the birds could not enjoy them in the condition that the birds were in, considering that the birds were frozen. Y’know so he took a moment and then threw his last handful onto the ground. I said to him, ‘Orville, why did you just throw the breadcrumbs to the birds when I just told you they’re frozen?’ To which he responded, ‘the breadcrumbs are not frozen.’ Again, misunderstanding my words. I didn’t mean to say that the breadcrumbs were frozen, when I said, ‘I told you they’re frozen’, I’d been referring to the birds. Y’know, in hindsight what I should’ve said was–and this would make perfect sense, ‘Why did you throw the breadcrumbs to the birds when the birds are frozen?’ He misunderstood upon my correction, statin’ that he didn’t know what else to do with the breadcrumbs, and that perhaps, y’know, when the birds thawed, they’d still be able to eat the crumbs. So I-I said to Orville, I said and this is what I said to him, I said, ‘Orville, the birds may be dead

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If it's you @winters-club then you know🥰

❗HORNY COSMIC HORROR IN YOUR AREA❗

and she's approaching fast-

❗HORNY COSMIC HORROR IN YOUR AREA❗

and she's approaching fast-

Me: what if I write the Stroker-Cindy-Striker threesome

Me: what

Rozy: wHAT

Cindy: ( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)

@strikers-saloon

“Help!! I have been shot by Cupid’s arrow! Literally… ” - Bunnymund xD

“I SWEAR IF YOU EVEN JUST GLANCE AT MY DIRECTION I WILL BURN YOUR RETINAS”