Rotting Of The Lamb - Tumblr Posts

shoujo-fied cotl bc I can <3

Decided to try designing Camilo’s Narinder & making a full design for Lacey’s Nari too! love love love unrequited yearning between a genuinely horrible deity & a sad little guy who would even take hatred over indifference ❤️❤️

I feel like it’d be fun to see that sort of twisted mirror to the sweet domesticity narilamb has!

✦ ~ Hay tristeza en sus ojos hablando y callando ~ Y bailando conmigo ~ Una pena lejana que llega a mi alma ~ Y se hace cariño ~ ✦

(disclaimer: her hands are heavily referenced from a photo! still working on hand anatomy)

[[Camilo monologue for context]]

“I don’t mind most of the nightmares. I get to see the goats. I don’t remember them much, but it’s nice hearing them talk. I see Ratau, too. Those ones make me jump awake, sometimes. But those aren’t the worst ones. It’s a way to honor him, really. Remember what I did to him. What you forced me to do. And every now and then, I don’t have my axe, and we play knucklebones together instead.

The worst ones have you in them. Because, there, you aren’t you, and I’m not who I am now. They remind me of when I used to pray that you would change. Find some softness for me. Some.. anything for me.

Before the final battle, I prayed that I’d be worth changing for, too.

I know where those nightmares are. You don’t have your chains in them. I don’t have my axe.

Those are the worst ones.”

wait that’s such a cute idea

(this is a rough draft of Lacey’s ascended outfit, I might tweak some things later. Also didn’t include her eldritch features lol)

I wanna swap lamb clothes too guys 😔, PLEASE HIT ME UP SOMEONE PLEAAASEEEEEE

Cries shakes n dies

currently trying to develop Lacey’s ascended design n sketching out some relevant scenes/shots for planned things!! vvv (cw body horror n real rough sketches lol)

can yall tell I love designing evil goddesses

Update:

I've been writing up plot points for Rotting of the Lamb n decided to change the name of Goat/Camilo's goddess of death.

She is still named Narinder, but Lacey quickly confuses her Nari and Camilo's Nari after bringing her into the cult. So she gives her the nickname "Rin" to differentiate the two and that's the name used from then on. Lacey's Nari is still Nari.

Using the same name was getting confusing, esp bc they also have the same pronouns and are both cats, so from now on I'll call her "Rin" in my posts! So if u see a big white carcal that looks like Nari but is called Rin, it's still Camilo's Nari from the au!!

~ Honey, look at me, tell me what you took, what’d you take? ~

Lacey’s ascension arc is official <33

still iffy on the exact details, but her ascension is triggered by an act of divine wrath :DD

yall get to guess who would manage to get the “I’ll rehabilitate all of my old gods even if they do nothing but hurt me bc I want everyone to be happy” mf to enact divine wrath upon them lololol

~ I don’t know what I want but I know it’s not this

These words all mean nothing once they’ve left my lips ~

Lacey’s first ascension concept is finally done <33 it was rly rough lol, took a couple tries to just get a good base down. But overall I like it!!

Might change some things later on to make her more eldritch/ominous or add in more cotl-related elements. I also don’t feel like the elements all agree with each other, so I might retry to get more cohesive shape language,, idk!!

more details n close ups <33

~ I don’t know what I want but I know it’s not this

These words all mean nothing once they’ve left my lips ~

Lacey’s first ascension concept is finally done <33 it was rly rough lol, took a couple tries to just get a good base down. But overall I like it!!

Might change some things later on to make her more eldritch/ominous or add in more cotl-related elements. I also don’t feel like the elements all agree with each other, so I might retry to get more cohesive shape language,, idk!!

Lady Death and her cat <33

a little secondary ‘ascended ver’ concept inspired by statues of La Catrina!

close ups vvv

Lady Death and her cat <33

a little secondary ‘ascended ver’ concept inspired by statues of La Catrina!

Infodump abt Leshy in my "Rotting of the lamb" au under the cut lololol vvv

Ok so. I’ve been rly rounding out Leshy’s character and how he fits in the whole dysfunctional family, n his whole headspace.

He’s the first one that becomes mortal and is taken to the cult. He’s also the most volatile out of all of them. A lot of the wounds Lacey sustains during her whole ‘therapizing’ of the family is from her first attempt with Leshy. For him, mortality is worse than death, and he’s fully convinced that Lacey made him mortal on purpose and is brainwashing everyone w/ her whole ‘we can all get better’ shit. Esp Nari. When Nari tries to have an earnest conversation with everyone, he’s the one constantly arguing and lashing out. And when Heket begins to pause and think about what’s being said, he hates it. Bc Nari is stupid enough to be brainwashed, ofc. But his sister Heket? Heket is strong. She knows better than anyone. So if she starts to accept mortality, they’ll never be gods like they used to. If she accepts it, he’ll have to too.

Leshy is extremely attached to their godhood. His, but also the rest of theirs too. He’s watched mortals die to simple diseases, a single blade, a little mistake. Or the breaking of their own hearts. He knows that mortality entails suffering and ‘suffering alone.’ When you’re a god, you can shape the world to cradle your heart the best. The seasons, land, trees, and people all shift to your best interest. It’s all under your control, and you can keep yourself and others safe. In his mind, even heartbreak is nothing to the constant eternity of godhood. The world under their rule was miserable for everyone BUT them. And this new one, where nothing is under his control? Where he can’t just kill the problem? He can’t stand it. So he lashes out.

But there’s another layer to it. When Nari was banished and they ruled over things, their lives were simple. He could just ignore painful things, as was encouraged by the family. When Kallamar questioned them and tried to help Nari, he was punished, and Leshy could keep his feelings uncomplicated. It was like a social facilitation for apathy–which Leshy much prefers over complicated, unsolvable feelings. Being mortal breaks that facilitation. Now Leshy has to face those suppressed feelings about banishing Nari and what they did to all the mortals. The heartbreak. The guilt. The fear and hurt and shame. He has to face the fact that they were wrong. Shamura was wrong. Heket was wrong. He was wrong. Mortality is a complete lack of safety for him–physically and psychologically. There is no longer a divine ‘right or wrong’ categorization that his siblings can pass down to him.

When he clings to his false crown and his godhood, he is clinging to ignorance. Because it was safe. It was simple. And if he starts to let go, he’ll have to face the fact that their family was broken. They destroyed the people they loved most, and couldn’t escape that pain even through godhood. Because godhood isn’t safety. It feels like it is, like all power does. But it isn’t.

It just makes wounds last forever.

this is the closest to a full Leshy ref I’ll get ;u;

it took a 2010s kikuo playlist to finally figure him out lololol,, might still amend some stuff

now ive gotta make one for his catttttt yayyyyyy

babes!!!!! need help deciding somethin abt my Rotting of the Lamb au. @puppydogwithlargeeyes specifically. (no pressure ofc) but also everyone else!!!!!

explanation under the cut bc this is abt to be a longggg post

(cw: mention of abusive character)

ok so. my original idea for The Rotting of the Lamb was that Lacey would sacrifice her time n safety n comfort to help all the bishops make up and live happy mortal lives. she'd sort of expose them to the good abt mortality and help them thru their emotions w unconditional positive regard. she also helps Camilo almost be at peace.

then one day there's a new realm where the doors to darkwood and such should be. n it's Rin, in the purgatory Camilo put her in. So they do the whole defeat-and-spare thing but Nari is adamant that they need to kill her and she's going to destroy them n Camilo is just so overwhelmed that they dip. Lacey puts Rin in jail to put off the decision until Camilo comes back.

Eventually they do, and they want Lacey's happy dream world to be realized, so they let her try to help Rin. But Rin isn't like the others. Lacey doesn't know how to begin to make her better. n later on she realizes that Rin's been hurting Camilo again and Lacey is actively enabling it by letting her be there. She has a huge fight with Rin where she does an act of divine wrath--sending Rin to a purgatory where she lives out Camilo's old life as her vessel, dying again and again and again. That's what makes her ascend. ofc there's more but that's a summary of the relevant parts.

Here's the problems with that. It feels off to have a second party be the one to 'resolve' the abusive situation between Camilo and Rin. It makes that situation into a plot device. But w Lacey's character, Rin's continued abuse toward her mirror--who she understands more than anyone n the only one who rly understands her--is the only thing that would make her have that act of wrath. Like Rin is a ticking time bomb for Lacey. Everything Lacey hates. And Camilo isn't going to resolve things w Rin themselves--they're going to keep destroying themselves until something gets in the way. Back when they killed her the first time, they hadn't seen what their life could be like. Now seeing Nari and Lacey (and the rehabilitation of the bishops) makes them hold onto hope that Rin will change.

Another problem is that her retaliation isn't rly "rotting of purity," and feels off for the name of the au. It's just retaliation against an abusive party. She does go crazy w it (finally saying she doesn't want Rin there, something she's felt but never said nor acted on, and making her 'disappear') but it still feels off bc she's just putting her feelings ahead of everyone else's for once. That could add to the unfairness of the situation (like godhood doesn't care abt cruelty vs retaliation, u ascend anyway) but idk.

BUT!!!!!!!!!

i thought of a second option. Lacey actually does sacrifice something for Camilo's happy ending. Her powers, or something like that. Maybe she sacrifices her mortalhood. But she gives something huge that she actually doesn't want to give to bring Camilo a "good end" version of Rin(?) Something like that--a good ending for Camilo. Maybe thru the mystic seller. And over time, she gets more and more resentful, but she shoves it down. Eventually she kills Rin for taking her happy ending, and that causes her ascension (if she's not ascending already.) it's still an act of divine wrath and a rotting of purity. N if she's already ascending, it's an act that officially 'rots' her. Slippery slope type deal.

The only issue is that Camilo would still have memories of Rin's abuse n it feels kinda off to resolve that thru adding in "non-abusive version of abuser." N it feels a little like Lacey just suddenly turning evil, instead of a twist of her normal psyche. BUT she would be rotting AND she would have actually sacrificed too much, instead her sacrifice being more of a metaphor.

idk. if anyone's gotten this far, lemme know what u think.

redesigned Lacey <333

my designs are gonna be a lot messier from now on,, more like character concepts instead of refs,, so I can get them done quicker n get all the right aspects in

old design for ref vvv

sometimes u wanna be better than the people who hurt you, but sometimes u rly just wanna be better than urself

There is a dream and it sleeps in me

Keeps me awake in the night

Crying, “Set me free”

And I wake every night

Crying, “Set me free”

Mitski - Abbey

oml. new idea. Lacey was actually unhinged as a vessel. Like, genuinely enacting revenge on the bishops.

no bc it adds so many layers??? her motivation for being kind isn't just "help everyone be happy," it's also "be better." When she's first resurrected, she's unbearably angry. Her people have been slaughtered for a simple family squabble. She has the emotional intelligence to understand them, so she understands their fear, and rages at the childish way they express it. This way that tears everyone apart--and how unfair that is. She easily slaughters heretics, making her cult into her new flock--her new family--with Nari, who was also a victim to the bishops' fear, as her only true friend. Each follower saved is more fuel for her anger.

But when the bishops all die, they take that anger with them. And over time, she is brought more to her normal self. She sees how her violence brings only more violence. And she sees her chance to start clean and 'reset' everything. A better world. She wants to be a better version of herself. Never hurt anyone again. She takes the hurt the bishops give as repentance. She has to, not just because she can take it, but because she is repenting. And she understands them all so well because she was in the same place they were.

Then, in her ascension, she hurts everyone. Not only is she like the gods, she is now like her old self.

(not rly ofc, it's like usual relapses, ur not actually in the place u started ur just struggling with the same shit)

idk i feel like it strengthens her motivations more than "bishops were cruel so i dont want to be like them" and her whole happy end philosophy.

update: ive fixed the issue. No more cult leader. Madoka Magica type magical girl now.

photo study to break thru art block n learn how to render bgs cohesively <33

gonna switch to a cottage-y, chibi artystyle for my main cotl au,, it fits the aesthetic better and makes me happy lol

og photo and diff vers: