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Through The Phone

Rated: M

Warning: Dirty talk galore, mentions of graphic smut, season 3 Game of Thrones spoilers.

Summary: The sexual frustration is real when Namjoon goes on a month long business trip, halfway across the world. So when the chips are down and the tides get rough, and you can’t actually get to one another… what do you do? You go to the next best thing of course - phone sex. 

Note: where did this come from and why tf did it get fluffy at the end thats not the way pwps are supposed to end i hate myself. btw the pacing is probably a little rushed because i wrote this between the hours of 2am and 5am :))

Words: 3.1k

You rolled over onto your back in bed, sighing dramatically as you pushed the covers off of your upper body, suddenly feeling too hot for them. The coldness of the bedroom was a contrast to your warm exposed skin, immediately arousing your nipples from the chilly sensation and giving you goosebumps all over. You turned your head to the side to look at the alarm clock that sat on your nightstand.

2:06 A.M.

This had been happening to you a lot lately, waking up in the middle of the night because of the intense dreams you’ve been having. Even in your sleep, you couldn’t escape the extreme desires you had that seemed to be getting harder to deal with more and more each and every day that passed without your fiance.

You shamefully pressed your thighs together, trying anything that would help ease the intense yearning sensation you felt between them.

The dream you had just experienced that involved your fiance had gotten you so worked up, that you could feel the evidence of your arousal leak out of your folds and drip down one of your ass cheeks onto the sheets beneath you. You felt your face heat up at the fact a simple dream about Namjoon had provoked your body so severely. But it was silly actually, because you were the only one in the room. The only one in the entire huge apartment, to be exact.

You were utterly alone, so why must you be so shy by the way your body was reacting?

With a sigh escaping your lips, you reached across for your phone that was on the complete opposite side of the bed at the very edge - a result of your restless sleeping, no doubt. And without a second thought, your fingers flew across the screen and soon your phone was calling your fiance.

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BTS Fics for Ships and Y/n

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• an updated masterlist • will be updated with each new fic •

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Remember Me

I DO NOT OWN THIS PICTURE

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS/ACTIONS

"He has amnesia."

Three words.

Three simple words.

So simple, yet so devastating.

Your boyfriend of three years, no longer remember you. You were a stranger to him, and in a way, he was a stranger to you.

You walked down the cold, pristine hallway of the hospital to his room. The Doctor's told you they informed him you were coming, and showed him proof of your relationship with him, but he didn't show any signs of recognition.

The door to his room opened and you saw that he was dressed in the clothes you brought for him when you learned of him being released from the hospital. He looked good, considering he was in a car accident three weeks prior. His eyes grazed over you for a moment, but other than that, nothing.

He was a stranger.

"Namjoon, this is your girlfriend ___. She's going to sign your release papers and take you home. Is that alright?" The psychologist that had been working with him asked. Namjoon nodded and stood up from the bed.

"Please take care of me, I hope my memories return. They think you taking me home and surrounding me with familiar things will help. I hope it does." He said, his tone remaining tired. Completely opposite of how he was normally.

Namjoon was always happy, it was one of the things that drew you to him. His bright energy was so alluring and everyone seemed to liven up when he was around. Everything about him was so lively and you two were closer than humanely possible. He was so affectionate and loved you with everything he had, always.

Now?

Now he appeared to be a hollow husk of his former self. He didn't seem like anything interested him.

Maybe it was from being in the hospital so long...?

You gave him a smile. "Can I hug you...?" You asked, looking at his frame with a sad familiarity.

"Yes." He said, reaching forward and enveloping you in his arms. You looked at the psychologist and she gave you a thumbs up. You sighed and wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him back.

Namjoon's arms were warm. And so so familiar it almost brought tears to your eyes. He placed his hands on your lower back and rubbed them with his thumbs like he always did.

Your heart hurt and clenched at the memories he had no recollection of, but you held on anyways.

How could you not when you hadn't held him in so long?

"Let's go home, yeah?" You asked, looking up at him. A small smile graced his face and he nodded. You took his hand to lead him out of the room, thanking the Doctor's for their hard work while heading out.

-_-_-_-_-

The car ride was silent.

The Doctor's said that he didn't appear to have any PTSD when thinking about cars or riding in them. They did the test prior to you coming to get him, to make sure that he didn't have a bad reaction when heading home.

His eyes stayed trained outside, not even glancing in your direction. You didn't want to push him, so you just remained silent, keeping your eyes focused on the road.

You got out of the car and shut the door, waiting for him to do the same. When he got out of the vehicle he looked around and looked to you.

"Does this look familiar at all?" You asked, going to his side.

"A little. The front door looks very familiar." You smiled and took his hand gently.

"That's good. Don't push yourself, and if I start pushing please let me know... Okay?" Namjoon gave another small smile and nodded before going towards the house. You followed him to the front door, handing him the key so he could unlock it. The lock was a little particular, and you wanted to see if he could remember how to jig it.

Click.

The door swung open and you smiled brightly.

"You did it! The door sticks and you have to turn the key a particular way before it'll open. That's really great, Namjoon." You said, putting your hand on his arm. He looked down at his hand and smiled, seeming proud of himself.

"I remembered." He said, before handing you the key back. You walked into the house and removed your shoes and grabbed your slippers. Namjoon did the same, looking at the pictures you two had in the entry way to your house. He paid particular attention to the New Years Eve picture the two of you had taken while kissing as the clock counted down.

"We really love each other, don't we?" He asked, turning his head to you with curiosity etched on his face. Your stomach churned, leaving a sour taste in your mouth.

"Yes. I love you more than my own life, and you love me with everything you have." Namjoon seemed to mull this over in his head before taking his eyes away from the picture and heading towards the living room. There were more pictures there of his family and him with his friends that drew him in. He looked at all of the pictures with such a sense of sadness and longing that made you want to cry.

"I feel like I remember them, but there's no emotion... I can't feel sad or frustrated for not remembering them... I feel numb." He announced in a melancholy tone.

You knew in that moment the man you loved was gone.

The Namjoon that stood before you wasn't the one you had fallen in love with, but you couldn't give up. Not after everything you've been through together. You'd fought to be with him, moving from the country side to live in Seoul with him. Leaving your family behind to create a new one with him.

Everything you'd ever known about him was now up in the air.

Did he still like the kimchi you made?

Did he still like dogs?

Did he still like the color red?

Did he still like watching the sun rise?

Did he still love you?

He looked around the house some more, trying to get some kind of recollection from all of the photos in the house. The way things were placed and how things smelled.

Namjoon was in your bedroom and he was going through your things. He was smelling your perfumes and looking through his clothes.

Nothing. Yet again.

He couldn't feel anything.

It didn't matter what you showed him, he still said that the emotions weren't there.

You tried to convince yourself it was just the shock of being home and the overwhelming sensations that he just sort of went numb from it all.

But that day seemed to drag on into a week. Then a month.

And the emotions never returned.

His routines came back to him and he gradually eased himself back into producing. Music was the only time you saw emotion from him, he seemed like his old self when he was making music.

It drove you to hate it.

How could he love music more than you?

Why didn't he touch you?

Why didn't he love you?

You'd stay awake at night with him next to you and not be able to fall asleep. How could he live in such a numb state? How could he not feel anything at all except for when music was playing?

You'd tried everything, it felt like.

Every night the two of you would go through your pictures and he would tell you that there was nothing there still. It didn't appear like he wanted to hurt you, but he wasn't going to lie to you and tell you that he felt something when he didn't.

At least his honesty hadn't changed.

"Namjoon, I'm home!" You yelled one afternoon after coming back from some morning errands.

"I'm in the kitchen." He announced. You followed the sound of his voice and you found him cooking.

"What's all this?" You asked staring at the various plates that he'd set up. Currently he was stir frying some rice and vegetables together.

It was one of his favorite dishes that you made, and he was making it himself.

"I got hungry, and you said you'd be home around this time, so I thought we could eat together. I want to talk to you." He said, plating the rice and vegetables.

"That's really sweet of you, thanks." You smiled, helping him take the food out to the table.

You sat across from each other, dishing out your food and beginning to eat. Namjoon ate enthusiastically, filling up before setting his utensils down.

You ate slowly, watching him and trying to figure out what he wanted to talk about. Could he have remembered something?

Jimin had told you that he was starting to recollect a lot of memories between him and the boys. That fact alone gave you an overwhelming amount of hope.

If he could remember them, he could remember you.

Right?

The meal was done and Namjoon looked at you with blank eyes.

Like usual.

"So, ___, I wanted to talk to you about something." He said, looking at you with those fucking blank eyes.

"And what would that be?" You asked, curiosity outweighing the annoyance you had from his gaze.

"My therapist thinks that we should try engaging in more couple like actions. You've been giving me space to allow me to adjust to my life again, which I appreciate, but you seem to be very distant from me. And that's not fair to either of us. I want to try to remember you, and to feel things for you."

It was like a cold jab in the heart.

He just proved your biggest nightmare, he didn't feel anything for you. But he wanted to try to feel things for you. Probably not because he wanted to, but because his therapist was telling him to. It made you sick that he was doing it out of an obligation to his counseling agreement instead out of the desire to feel the emotions he once had for you.

"That's really sweet, Namjoon. And I appreciate that you're thinking of me in all of this. What did you mean by couple like actions?" You asked, trying not to get angry with him.

"Holding hands, hugging, kissing, having sex. You know, things we used to do."

The last one caught you off guard.

"Having sex? You've thought about that?" You questioned, wondering if he remembered the first time the two of you had sex...

"Of course I have, I'm a man, and you're a woman. We both have needs in that regard." He said in an over analytical fashion.

"It shouldn't be out of a need, it should be because you love me and want to be with me..." You said coldly.

"Well... Maybe if we do it, I'll remember. It's an intimate act, it could trigger some emotions in me. But I won't force you." He said, sipping his water.

You couldn't take it.

You had to get out of there. Before he could say anything else, you got up and ran to your room. You flung the door open and slammed it shut before running to the bathroom and turning the water in the tub on.

You couldn't take it.

Your heart hammered in your chest while you remembered all of the memories you had with him.

-_-_-_-_-

"___!" Namjoon shouted before coming towards you with a big smile on his face.

Your heart swarmed with love and light as he wrapped you up in his arms and spun you around the living room.

"What's going on?" You asked, giggling.

"A promotion! They moved me to head of the production department! I can produce on a much larger scale now, I can spread music to so many more people... I'm so happy baby, so very happy. I couldn't wait to tell you." He said excitedly, keeping you in his arms.

"Aw, Namjoon that's incredible! I'm so proud of you! I knew you could do it!" You laughed, kissing his cheek.

"Is it worth a reward?" He said in a seductive tone.

"Oh, I think you are more than worthy."  You said, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Namjoon smiled and carried you to your room.

His hands were cool against your hot skin, and it felt heavenly. His touch always sent chills down your spine, causing you to want nothing more but to feel every inch of his bare skin against yours.

He set you down on your bed and moved his lips deftly over your body, moving down to your pants.

"Can I take these off of you baby?" He asked, looking up at you with deep, lustful eyes.

"Yes, please, Namjoon." You begged, arching into his touch like a cat.

"So good to me, baby. I love you." He whispered against the skin of your thigh. His lips placed small kisses on your skin, leaving silent promises of pleasure. You whimpered at the thought of him pleasing you with his mouth, his plush lips right where you wanted him most. He was always such a tease. Every movement he made was calculated to bring you close to insanity, but you wouldn't have it any other way. Because the pleasure it would lead you to would be worth all of the teasing in the world.

He removed your pants and kissed your clothed center, inhaling your scent and licking you through your panties.

"Ah..." You whined, looking down at the man you loved.

"So sweet... You taste so good." He moaned, grabbing you by your thighs and pulling you closer to him.

He bit your panties and pulled them off with his teeth, something you'd never seen him do and you could practically feel yourself get wetter just by the sight.

"Namjoon... Please, hurry." You begged, wanting to feel his hot tongue on your core.

"So greedy, but I can't wait any longer either. I'll give you what you want baby." With that his mouth was on your dripping center, laving his tongue over your sensitive bud before moving down to lick up all the juices you had. You cried out his name and gripped his hair tightly, panting.

"Oh God, Namjoon!" You could feel him smile against you, but he didn't stop, continuing to lick and suck on your delicate flower.

You felt the familiar coil beginning to tighten. You couldn't believe how fast he was able to make you fall apart using just his mouth. He always felt so good and you couldn't help yourself, you needed to cum and he wasn't going to tease you anymore. He wanted to see you fall apart. He needed to see you cum and to taste it on his tongue.

He latched his lips onto your clit and sucked harshly, looking dead into your eyes. You felt the chord in your stomach snap and your climax flooded your veins.

Namjoon continued licking and sucking at you gentle, coaxing you through your climax. You ruffled his hair and giggled in a lazy manner.

"You always make me feel so good baby. I love you..." You said, feeling your heart rate slowly come down.

"I love you too, ___." He said, hovering over your body with his. You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him to your lips in a sloppy kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue, but you didn't care. His mouth was amazing no matter where he put it. On your lips, on your stomach, anywhere he could it was perfect.

Because he was perfect.

You grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, revealing his beautifully toned chest making you drool with anticipation. Namjoon wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your jaw slowly, nipping and biting here and there.

"I want you inside me, Namjoon please..." You begged, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"What's the magic word baby?"  He murmured, biting at your ear lobe.

"Please fuck me, Master."

You groaned when he pinned you on your back.

"God you're so fucking hot when you call me that... You want your Master's cock? How bad does my little princess want it?" He growled, pulling his pants off.

"Your princess wants it so bad, please Master. Please fuck me, Master!" You cried out, giving him exactly what he wanted. You looked at him and he was rock solid and ready to give you both the pleasure you desired so greatly.

Without much warning he pushed into your tight head and you both took a sharp inhale. You could feel him hot and throbbing inside of you, so deliciously thick. He wanted to pound into you without abandon, but he knew that you were sensitive to that, and wanted to make sure that you felt just as good as he did.

Even if he was insanely dominant, he was always concerned about your pleasure as well as his own.

You moved your hips gently, brushing against him with longing. Namjoon groaned as he got the message, beginning to move his hips forward in slow movements.

He hit every part of you with his deep thrusts and every movement of his hips pulled a whine from your mouth. You could feel it all. His love, his cock and his affection for you. Namjoon was the perfect lover and he was so sensitive to your emotions, perfectly in tune with your wants and desires. As well as your struggles and hardships. Everything you two did, you did it together. It's what made you such a strong couple.

Namjoon couldn't hold on, he was painfully hard from eating you out and you could feel your climax coming back with a vengeance. You groaned loudly, grabbing at his back and shoulders, drawing your nails across his skin, leaving marks that were sure to be there the next morning.

"Fuck, princess, you feel so good around my cock. I can't hold out much longer." He panted, beginning to pound into your ruthlessly, making the bed frame smack against the wall with loud banging sounds.

Thank God you two didn't have neighbors.

You screamed without restrictions as you felt your orgasm hit you without warning. Your velvet walls clamped down on Namjoon's throbbing cock and he cried out his release as well, resting his head in your neck. Warmth flooded your sore pussy and you knew he came.

Panting and loud heart beats flooded the air.

The two of you laid in the sheets, basking in the afterglow of an intense orgasm. Namjoon kissed your knuckles and smiled at you goofily.

"Thank you baby. You're always so good to me." He said, kissing your shoulder.

"Forget about it, I love it just as much as you do. Maybe even more than you." You smiled curling into his side.

"I could never forget you." He whispered to you before the pair of you fell asleep.

-_-_-_-_-

You remembered that night vividly. It was one of the many times you two had sex, but for some reason it was stuck in your head. It was repeating and repeating and repeating.

It hurt to remember it, you didn't want to remember it. You wanted to forget everything like he had. How painless it must be, to be numb inside and not feel remorse about anything you did.

The tub was overflowing, but you couldn't find a fuck to give about it. Your phone buzzed in your pocket and Kookie flashed across the screen. You answered it a moment later.

"Yes, Jungkook?" You asked, trying to keep your voice calm.

"Hey Noona! I have a question." You wanted to smile at his cute little voice, but you couldn't find the energy to do so.

"What is it?" You questioned softly, trying not to let your anger out on the wrong person.

"I'm trying to cook some stir fry, but, I think I did it wrong... Is there any way to save it?" He asked, you could hear him fiddling with some knobs and such on the stove he shared with Jimin.

"Did you put in some water? That can help. If not, add some sauce and more vegetables and turn down the heat for God sake." Jungkook's sweet laughter flew through the phone and into your ear.

You would miss that.

"Yes, Noona. Thank you! If I add more vegetables and rice I'll have enough for more people. Do you and Namjoon-hyung want to come over and eat with Jimin-hyung and I?" He asked, doing as he was told.

"That's sounds great Kookie-ah. I'm just about to get in the bath but I'll call you when I get out." You could almost hear the blush on the younger man's cheeks.

"Alright, Noona. Enjoy your bath!" With that, he hung up and you threw your phone to the ground. Watching it shatter everywhere.

You were so tired.

You missed Namjoon and you wanted him back.

So you did the only thing you could do.

You cried.

Helplessly and hard. You sobbed until you collapsed to the floor in unadulterated agony, holding onto yourself desperately. How could he not feel anything when he thought about you or looked at you, when you felt so much? Your head flooded with misery and you felt water on your hand. You looked up and noticed that the water had reached you now. It was warm and inviting.

You stood up and shut the water off, looking into the deep tub. The deep and steaming liquid drew you in and it mixed with the water coming from your eyes.

It was time for you to forget him.

Forget everything about this last month. These last years...

Forget your life in general.

It didn't matter if Namjoon wasn't in it, and the man downstairs wasn't Namjoon.

The Namjoon you loved was gone, and he wasn't coming back. No amount of medicine and counseling could ever bring the man you loved back, and it killed you to know that. But you could be with him again, in your memories.

All it would take was a few inhales, right?

That's all it will take...

No, you're body will reject it...

You walked to the medicine cabinet and grabbed Namjoon's painkillers and anti-psychotics and poured them into your hand.

This would be enough, surely.

You grabbed the glass you kept on the sink for him at night and filled it with water.

One pill.

Two pills.

Ten pills.

Twenty pills.

You lost count at thirty five and you were already getting dizzy. You stumbled around the bathroom and held onto the edge of the tub, slowly dragging yourself inside of it. The water was still warm and you couldn't bring yourself to stop from fully submerging yourself in it. You were still clothed and that didn't matter. If anything it helped weigh you down so you didn't rise above the water.

The drugs took over your system and you felt water rushing into your airways.

But it didn't matter.

You were dead already.

-_-_-_-_-

Namjoon wasn't sure why you were taking so long in the bathroom, maybe you had to think about it.

He was serious when he said he wanted to try, he really did because seeing you so upset was hard for him. He didn't know why when he looked at you he didn't feel anything, but he wanted to. He wanted so badly to make you happy again, and that was the first step in his recovery.

The familiar ringing of his cell phone pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Hello?" He said into his phone.

"Hey, Namjoon-hyung! When will you and noona be here? She talked to me about twenty minutes ago and she was getting in the bath, but I invited you two over for dinner with me and Jimin-hyung. I made stir fry." Jungkook said cheerfully into the phone.

"Ah, did you? That was nice of you. I'll go check on her right now and see when she wants to head over. I'll call you back." He said before hanging up and heading for the stairs.

The bathroom door was closed as Namjoon headed into the bedroom. He walked over and knocked on the door.

"____? Jungkook just called and said he invited us to dinner. When did you want to go?" He asked, leaning against the wall.

Silence.

Confusion washed over him as he knocked on the door a little harder.

"___? Are you alright in there?" He asked, waiting for a response.

Without getting one he looked down at the floor and noticed the carpet was wet.

"___!? What's going on in there? Why did you let the water over flow?" He shouted, banging on the door with his fist.

He was once again greeted with silence.

"I'm coming in, ___!" He shouted before opening the door.

There you were, soaked and under the water in the tub, looking scarily pale.

"____," he shouted, rushing over and pulling your body out of the water. "Shit! Oh God, ___! What did you do?!" He yelled, grabbing onto your face.

No pulse.

Quickly grabbing his phone he dialed the emergency number, telling them the situation and begging them to hurry.

Namjoon looked over and saw that his pill bottles were all over the sink.

"You idiot! Why did you take my pills... Why baby, why?" He cried out, clutching your soaked form to his body.

Water poured from your mouth and your body was limp in his arms.

"___! Please, wake up, please wake up! Oh fuck, why did you do this? Why baby? Why," he asked in confusion. His heart ached and he rocked back and forth with you in his arms. How could you do this to him? How could you hurt him this way? And what did he do to you? How could he let himself hurt you like this? "Oh fuck this is all my fault, baby I'm so sorry. Princess? Please, open your beautiful eyes and look at me. Please, baby, please get up! ____!" He screamed, hanging onto your cold form.

His hands tangled in your hair and pulled your lips to his in a desperate kiss.

"I remember you, I remember everything we did... I remember baby, please open your eyes and look at me. Princess, please. Please open your eyes for me. I'll give you whatever you want. You can have all of my time, you can have whatever you want, please princess just open your eyes for me," he sobbed and tired everything he could to get you to wake up.

But nothing worked.

And he couldn't take it.

The ambulance arrived.

The EMTs walked up the stairs and found the scene.

KIM NAMJOON:

AGE: 22

CAUSE OF DEATH: SUICIDE BY OVERDOSE

_____ ______

AGE: 22

CAUSE OF DEATH: SUICIDE BY OVERDOSE/DROWNING

Spring Day, Namjoon

Spring Day, Taehyung and Namjoon

Not Today - Ki(ng)m Namjoon

Rap Monster = Savage

I think there’s a tear in my eyes, but there’s a smile on my lips.