Queerphobia - Tumblr Posts

Anti-xenics are so concerned that xenogenders "make queer people look bad," but if anything this shows that xenogenders can help cishet people understand all queer identities better. And, hell, it seems not only effective, but fun! You get them involved and get them to think about their own gender in such a different light and that just seems really fun and memorable, you know?

Xenogenders don't make queer people look bad. Never have, never will. The same people that anti-xenics are so desperate to please are the same ones who hate all queer people, even the most "palatable" and "normal" of us. Most queerphobes aren't even aware of xenogenders- I mean, hell, look at transphobic news, look at how much of it focuses on binary trans people or gay people or other "normal" queer people.

Those bigots who are aware of xenogenders intentionally refuse to listen and misunderstand the concept to weaponize it, because they know turning us against one another makes us easy to exterminate. The kinds of people complaining about kids "identifying as cats and using litter boxes in schools" aren't just targeting xenogenders, if they are even aware of them (many aren't)- no, they're after all trans people, and eventually all queer people if they can conquer that smaller target.

The same people who use xenogenders and neopronouns as proof of how "ridiculous" we are aren't just after xenogenders and neopronouns. They want all of us gone. They mock neopronouns while addressing binary trans people because they often don't know the difference, and they just don't care. They don't care if that trans person supports xenogenders or not. We all look the same to them; we're all "freaks" who "defy nature" and they hate all of us equally.

The best thing we can do is stick together and support each other. Trying to appeal to them, trying to compromise, it just makes us weaker, divided, easier to destroy.

-Emyr (he/it)

Hey, for everyone saying xenogenders are chronically online: Today in psych class we talked about gender dysphoria and I got to illustrate my view of gender graphically. It looked like a venn diagram with four heavily overlapping circles - one of them was xenogender.

My class was ENTIRELY receptive to it. This receptiveness included a straight, cis, white, christian male who had never heard of it before. And he was totally cool with it! We even took two minutes going on about what our gender would be if we described it in xenic terms. My teacher said he'd be the point of a mountain that intersects with clouds in the sky. Another said a ball of lint. I said the ocean. Not one of us said it was "impossible" or "cringe" or any of that xenogender-phobic shit.

If you're xenogender you're valid. The world, the real, offline world thinks so too. What's "chronically online" and "cringe" is being full of hate.

Queerphobes are so baffling to me.

I had one admit they’d strip a child naked to look at their genitals to check whether they’re cis or “pretending” because the ends of “women’s rights” justify the means. They did not see any problem with what they said.

You can get them to admit some really fucked up stuff when they’re defending their beliefs. Since they believe they are doing the right thing and “protecting women,” they don’t stop to analyze the morality of what they’re doing, because they automatically assume they’re the “good guys”

I really need to stop engaging with people like that for my health but they’re just so funny. I want to study them under a microscope.

-Emyr (he/it)

so as someone who has being bullied and faced transphobia and queerphobia at school, i decided that since this year i'm in a new school i wouldn't come out for my safety and mental health.

however, that's exhausting. i'm tired of playing a character and pretending that i am someone i'm not. i'm tired of being deadnamed and misgendered all the time. i'm tired of not feeling safe there.

at school, i'm only out to some close friends and they're really supportive but to safeguard my personal safety they have to deadname me and misgender me most of the time, which is also a bit exhausting.

and like even though my teachers are showing that they're queer-friendly, i still feel scared of my classmates knowing i'm queer and they're actually starting to notice i'm queer which scares me cause i don't wanna suffer again.

sometimes i just feel like being homeschooled because at least i'd be able to be named correctly, gendered correctly, be who i am and dress the way i want cause my parents are really supportive and i love them so much.

btw sorry for this giant text but i needed to vent. love y'all and don't forget you're valid and loved<3.

when people's only argument against family members safely and consensually dating is "their kids will be born with genetic defects!!!1!!" I'm consistently just flabbergasted by the tone deaf eugenicist ass ableism. like. okay so. my mother, who is disabled by a hereditary auto immune disease that causes chronic pain , should not have had me because I would be born with genetic defects? my mom should not be loved or be in a relationship because any child she has would be born with genetic defects? what is this logic. until someone can give me a real answer as to why consensual incestuous relationships are ACTUALLY BAD I'm completely in support of them. sorry. love is love

Faced with the current state of the world, I was once again thinking “why can’t they just leave us alone?” And I still think that, but it hit me that that’s what they- the fearmongering bigots, that is- think and say as well.

But what do they want? Let’s look at what the queer community want, in detail. The ability to not be killed or imprisoned for expressing our identity. To be able to access life-saving medicine and therapy. To be able to get married. These are not abstract- these are real threats we face, propagated by specific people and policy. This is our daily lives.

What’s on the line for them? In their own words, their way of life, their culture. What does this mean? What is their way of life? If you press further, it just circles back- their way of life is excluding and ignoring queer folks existence.

This group, by nature, seek dominance and segregation. We want acceptance and inclusion. This is immediately obvious if you are paying any attention. We want gay couples to be allowed to go to prom. They want only straight couples at prom. We want gay couples and trans people to be allowed to exist peacefully on TV and media. They want only straight, cisgender people. They actively campaign for this, and treat the very idea of acknowledging us as people as not only obscene, as funny, so ridiculous it’s humorous. Plainly, we want to exist, while homophobes and transphobes don’t want us to. Their safety and well-being is not on the line. Ours is. What’s on the line for them is the ability to not see what might be a potential gay couple once while taking a walk and never again. For their kids favorite book series to not have one line regarding a characters transgender identity. For their not to be a gay couple mentioned among the straight couples in the newspapers marriage section. And, most importantly, for their sense of dominance and control not mentally challenged. Of course gay marriage doesn’t affect them, but it challenges their view of the world where only their way of life is right and true. It challenges what they’ve grown up believing. And that, truly, IS scary. They are truly scared- but they are not truly in danger.

Their most concrete compliant and demand, which has picked up steam extremely quickly in the past year, is to let the children be. Don’t groom the children. Don’t force the children to be trans.

This is a decades old panic shifted from primarily targeted towards gay men, to primarily focused on trans people. ‘Think of the children!’ has been used for a long time, and to some extent, that’s perfectly understandable- I, too, want children to be safe and happy. But this argument is, at best, projection. The people being forced to live in a body that makes them miserable is not cisgender kids- it is transgender kids. Transgender people, including kids, are the ones much more likely to be groomed or assaulted. There ARE kids having their genitals changed without their consent- intersex babies, a practice that once again targets people whose gender doesn’t match certain ideas, and a practice largely condemned by trans activists. This is not happening to 8 year old boys who wanted to wear a dress and are now having surgery on their privates. That is a fantasy, put simply, it is a lie.

Queer people want freedom. Queerphobes want suppression. Queer people want equality. Queerphobes want dominance. Queer people want truth. Queerphobes want misinformation. And no amount of lies, no amount of changing history (“we were fine with gay marriage, but now you’ve taken it too far!”), no amount of colorful cartoons seen on Twitter or Facebook is going to change that.

Just a reminder that it’s okay to be offended. Being ‘offended’ does not make your argument invalid. You are allowed to be upset at their bigotry, hate, and lies. It’s okay to have and express these emotions, and you are not being irrational, crazy, oversensitive, or stupid.

I don’t want to make people mad with my existence, I don’t want to challenge right-wing ideals just being myself, I don’t want to counterculture or revolutionary, I just want to exist not having to know that a considerable amount of people want me dead and think of me as inherently sinful or dirty. I don’t want to have to wake up every day and realize people who hate me are all around me and I interact with them nearly every day.

Important

an oppressed group should never have to pander to their oppressors in order to be seen as human beings.

queer people should not have to argue that “we’re just like you!”

disabled people should not have to argue that “you could be one of us one day!”

POC should not have to say “look how much we’ve contributed to your life and your culture!”

all of that shit is irrelevant. we should not have to convince you that we are the same in order for you to take us seriously. we should be able to trust that our lives have value, regardless of what we can contribute to YOUR life

Currently reading how « the wokism is dangerous and oppress homo/lesbo/trans/queerphobics » and « the theory of gender is wrong haha of course there is only two sex and EVERYONE is either man or woman »

The intense urge of punching the homophobic trash who wrote this is astonishing. I think I will bite my pillow for a bit

if i had a nickel everytime an old lady gave me disgusted looks in the restroom, I would have enough to build a gender neutral bathroom

leslie feinberg uses the term "he-she" to describe hirself through this section of the book and discusses taking hormones with the other butches at multiple points throughout. at the time, "butch" included everything from masc lesbians to he/him lesbians to outright trans men.

events quickly progress from calling butches and femmes brainwashed to kicking butches out of meetings and bars for being gender traitors. hir decision to start HRT was so controversial in separatist lesbian circles that it ended zir long-term relationship.

this was the impact of a separatist feminist movement on queer icon leslie feinberg, who suffered immensely from the hostility of the queer community toward zirself and the ensuing isolation and lack of community support. because denying queer people access to their community is a death sentence. zie went on to write stone butch blues about this oft-ignored and maligned branch of the queer family.

we know that transandrophobia exists. one of the most important landmark queer texts discusses it extensively. we know that separatist rhetoric harms every single member of the queer community with a connection to masculinity (A LOT OF US). we have been on this merry-go-round before, and we already know it sucks. let's not go around again. let's get off

I propose that we, as a society, should stop using the term "homophobia" to reference all types of anti-queer discrimination.

Homophobia is, by definition, prejudice against homosexuals/gay or lesbian people.

But there are many different identities that fall under the LGBTQ banner, obviously, including but not limited to transgender, bi/pan or aro/ace.

There are certain terms like transphobia, biphobia or aphobia that are, like homophobia should be, limited to prejudice against one type of queer label.

Queerphobia is a much more accurate term to describe prejudice against the LGBTQ community as a whole. You wouldn't call your nonbinary aromantic friend homosexual, would you? (If you would, that's a whole other issue). Why should that change when referring to discrimination against the community, which is a topic that should be handled with respect for queer people.

There are lots of different ways to be queer, and all terms associated with the community should respect that- even ones I wish didn't have to exist.

So please, use "queerphobia" instead. It's just more respectful to the people who have to deal with it on a daily basis.

queer is literally a slur. like you’ve never been called that in a derogatory context like most lgbt people? you think your experiences escaping homophobia make it okay to justify the use of a homophobic slur?

queer is an identity.

it has also been used as a slur. there is no denying that. but using a word as a slur does not make it a slur. because before queer is a slur it is an identity. before it is derogatory it is a label. the use of queer as an identity is infinitely more important than the use of queer as a slur because the people who identify as queer are infinitely more important than the people who use queer as a slur.

say a lot of people decided they hated me. despised me. were disgusted by me to the point where my own name became a slur. would you tell me not to say it? would you tell me i could no longer be helena, and instead must come up with a euphemism for the name that belonged to me decades before it belonged in the mouths of bigots?

because that would make you an enabler.

you would tell me i can’t say my name anymore because some lowlife decided he could use it to insult me?

you would tell a gay man that he can’t be gay anymore because some teens in the early 2000’s started calling everything they didn’t like “gay”, and now he has to say “same sex oriented male identifying individual”?

does that enrage you? because it should. that’s exactly how you sound.

you are telling me i cannot use my label. you are telling me that when my great-uncle shouted until his face was red and he spat tobacco and the word queer at my feet, he was right. he was right to insult me, and i was wrong to say my name.

you are shitting on every single one of our predecessors. you are slandering every person who fought for their rights to exist and and be tolerated and be celebrated in their countries, every person who was lost to the aids epidemic, every person whose country criminalizes love and gender expression, every child whose parents abandoned them for straying from the norm, every person who was born and will die in the closet longing to be themselves. the queer umbrella is a safety net, a security blanket, the comfort of being known without being pressured to tell. it is near and dear and important as fuck to every member of the lgbt+ community and you are a blight upon the earth you walk.

how dare you speak upon my experiences with homophobia. how dare you disguise your own homophobia as activism. and how fucking dare you have the audacity to come to my blog and hide behind an anonymous ask and preach to me about how i’m oppressing myself. go look at the fucking wikipedia page for queer and read about how 1980s lgbt+ activists, especially lgbt+ people of color, fought to call themselves queer in a world that still hates peculiar things. and here you are forty years later spitting queer back at their feet.

i don’t give a fuck if people start using my name as a slur. my name is still helena. i will not change it. i chose it, i like it, and it belongs to me. it does not belong to bigots no matter how badly they want it. your discomfort with my identity is not my fucking problem.

i am helena. i am queer. die mad & go fuck yourself

is there a word for the intersection of ableism and queerphobia?/gen

cus given my own experiences and also how some ppl who r fine w/ other queer ppl will b rly vocal abt hating any labels that nd and mentally ill ppl come up w/ 2 describe their experiences w/ their queerness that is impacted by that e.g. cloudgender [a label 4 ppl who find it difficult 2 pin down specifics of their gender bc of dpdr]

not 2 mention ppl using us being nd or mentally ill as a way of saying that we can't possibly know our own identity a prime example of this being jk rowling attempting 2 use autistic afab trans ppl like myself against the rest of the trans community by saying that we're "being lead astray" and using the fact that we're autistic 2 try 2 make it seem like we don't know who we r

ppl rly do like 2 say that every disabled character in a queer relationship is child coded huh?

hey so since i just remembered that july is disability pride month i figured i'd go off since no1 can do shit, so let's unpack this post and y this bs of ppl saying every disabled character [especially those in queer relationships] is "child coded" pisses me off so much so i wanna start by saying that the term "child coded" does hav it's place, like w/ the whole 1000 year old dragon loli bs where the character is drawn exactly like how the artist draws kid characters, possibly also the characters even straight up calling them a loli or the character acting like an actual child or being treated like an actual child and them being a 1000 year old dragon is just an excuse 4 the piece of media they r in 2 put them in sexual situations [insert way 2 many anime as reference here] [dragon maid being 1 of them] or the other type of this trope where a character is literally stated 2 meant 2 appear like a child but is an adult and is still put in sexual/adult romance situations even tho it's stated they r meant 2 look like a child and it's clear that that's something the txt is playing into [huni from oran high school host club being a good example] [according 2 the wiki last time i checked it says that it was literally stated in the manga that he's meant 2 look 8 but he works at a host club and the story clearly plays into that given that his nickname is "the boy lolita", at least in the anime]

my problem is that some ppl want 2 act like disabled coding and child coding is the same thing and say that every disabled character is "child coded" and then from there say that they shouldn't b in relationships and ppl who use the term child coded 4 every disabled character seem 2 b even more likely 2 do so when the character is also in a queer relationship or when the fandom ships them in a queer relationship or has a queer headcanon 4 them

the most common type of misuse i've seen of this term tho is when ppl r shipping a character in a queer relationship and then some1 who is obviously made uncomfortable by queer stuff tries 2 say that the ship is a pedo ship by saying that they think 1 of the characters is child coded and this is a problem that has multiple layers bc w/ how it's being misused in this way it shows the following abt the person misusing it;

1] they c disabled ppl as children [especially feminine presenting and queer disabled ppl]

2] they don't want disabled ppl 2 b in relationships

3] they c all relationships w/ a disabled person as pedo shit

4] they don't want queer ppl in relationships

5] they c all queer relationships as pedo shit and so they look 4 any excuse 2 call it pedo shit even tho at least 90% of the time it's literally not

ppl rly do like 2 say that every disabled character in a queer relationship is child coded huh?

i made a post earlier but tumblr fucked up the tags so i hav 2 put it all in txt :/

the post was

"not everything has 2 b an opportunity 4 u 2 try 2 prove u r a good ally sharon"

and i was gonna keep it at that and then leave the specifics of what i was talking abt in the tags but tumblr is a hellsite so i can't, i posted and immediately all the tags were out of order and made no fucking sense so im gonna just put the whole thing in txt here ig

this is abt me mainly thinking abt the ppl who hijack social movements 2 try 2 prove "what a good person they r" or act like we hav 2 make everything abt them like "the a stands 4 ally" mfs, the ppl who act like we in the minority hav 2 tone down what we're saying 4 them bc they would rather b comfy than acknowledge that ppl in their group r still hurting us

like the teachers and therapists who hijack every time a disabled/nd/mentally ill person talks abt their experiences 2 say "well im not like that" or worse the teachers and therapists who tell us 2 stop talking abt our experiences bc "we're making ppl afraid 2 go 2 school/therapy" and then they lie and say that "our experiences don't happen that often" like yes they do mf it's not my fault my reality makes u uncomfortable

this is also abt the mfs who act like im "racist" 4 saying that im mixed british and african when i say that bc i am, but some white ppl will say that calling myself that makes me racist bc "it's an insult 2 ppl actually from africa",,, like mf my grandmother was from africa and my mother was raised there, ur not as good an ally as u think u r

this is also abt the ppl who act like hating on mogai makes them a good queer ally, no it doesn't, also can't help but notice the stuff in mogai that i c getting the most hate is the labels that r there 4 nd/mentally ill ppl, hate 2 break it 2 u but ableism doesn't make u a good queer ally

also side note some of u just c a label and assume u know what it means, like u c the word "cloudgender" and assume it means some1 identifies as a cloud when that's not what that means, it's a label 4 some1 who the specifics of their gender r hard 2 pinpoint bc of dpdr [depersonalisation and/or derealisation] which is a very real thing 4 a lot of ppl, if ur such a "good ally" y don't u do the bare minimum research b4 u decide u know what something means

also while ur at it stop acting like every character in a queer relationship who's nd or mentally ill is child coded, like u guys will b like "[lists a literal common symptom of being nd/mentally ill] this makes them child coded" like mf no it doesn't hell some of u will point 2 a character being aro or ace or both and use that as evidence 4 them being "child coded" and u only seem 2 do this w/ queer ships [canon or otherwise] and i hav 2 wonder how many of u r doing that bc u c ace ppl, aro ppl, nd ppl, mentally ill ppl the same as children and how many of u r doing that bc u want any excuse 2 call a queer ship p*do bait neither of those makes u a good ally 2 queer ppl

i'm nd, im mentally ill, im aroace and im not a child, ppl like me r allowed 2 exist and hav relationships and yes that includes relationships that r obviously and unashamedly queer, sry not sry if that makes u uncomfortable and b4 u say "well it's not abt ppl like u" yes it is, im literally nd and mentally ill in the way that ppl use 2 say a character is child coded, im autistic and i hav dpdr as a result of cptsd so i hav moments where i just hav no idea what's going on, if i was a fictional character i would hav ppl on the internet saying that im "child coded" and that ppl can't like me and my partner being 2gether and that it's "bad queer rep" also even if it wasn't abt me that's not the point, the point is adults r allowed 2 b adults and being disabled shouldn't change that

i feel like a lot of activism is hurt by "allies" that just hijack our movements 2 try 2 prove "what good allies" or "what good ppl" they r and then they focus the movement around them and their ego and what they will and won't accept instead of our activism being allowed 2 b centred around us, the oppression we face and our goals 2 work 2wards our own liberation, the ways in which a lot of these "allies" try 2 prove that they r good allies is in ways that hurts the community they r saying they r helping or in a way that hurts another community that wouldn't hav been caught in the crossfire otherwise

[not saying all allies r like this but u do get way 2 many like this and it pisses me off]

so yeh, not everything has 2 b an opportunity 4 u 2 try 2 prove ur a good ally sharon

hang on. there’s no way we’re revitalizing “are [cishet] aro people queer” discourse. it is almost 20-fucking-24. no. say sike right now. you’re all fucking ridiculous. how are we not only not over this, but bringing it up for active discourse again. and acting like the things being said are common discussion and not. blatant aphobia. which is homophobia. it’s queerphobia. did we never fucking learn from the many “they want us to fight amongst ourselves because if we’re divided it’s easier to ruin us” type talks that everyone was making a while ago. or was that a phase too. what happened to “anything not heteronormative is what queer is. anything with romance/sex/gender that’s othered from what society deems the “norm” is what we are. we are a community of outcasts because the greater community doesn’t want us either way.” what the shit.

Guys, I'm struggling with something. Maybe the Harry Potter fans in the crowd can help me out here.

A couple months ago, I learned about the transphobic/enbyphobic things that Vivziepop has said and done as recently as last year. I really had a good time with Hazbin Hotel, and I'd been following Helluva Boss up to that point, but even after taking this time to reflect I don't know if I should continue. I don't want to lose one of my interests, but I also don't want to support someone who seems to view trans and nonbinary people as lesser.

It's kind of like the whole "Scott Cawthon's political donations" debacle, but while he announced his retirement and isn't as active with the fandom anymore, I don't think Viv is leaving anytime soon.

I dunno guys. What do I do?