Psychology - Tumblr Posts

Let’s play “why am I so demand avoidant?”! Is it:

A.) Part of my autism

B.) Being told what to do just makes me mad (psychological reactance)

C.) The fact that the people telling me what to do are typically people who don’t respect me very much so I don’t respect them very much

D.) All of the above

As an ATLA fan, I used to think that if Azula ever recovered at all, it would be to the detriment of her story. I thought it would take away the impact of what Ozai had done, which I felt was important didn't happen because it's hard for so many people to imagine that a golden child could be abused, or that emotional abuse could have such a profound impact on a child's psyche.

But here's what changed my mind: even though it's never stated, fans mostly agree on the interpretation of Azula as having some form of personality disorder. I've seen people claim npd, bpd, machivellinism, aspd, etc. The general consensus among fans is still the same: Azula's personality disorder was entirely caused by abuse.

This is true for people in real life, not just in a fictional character's narrative. And in real life, people with personality disorders are demonized by people who think they could never recover and will always be evil. Sometimes you even hear that from people in the mental health community, or from therapists. But even if there's no cure, symptoms can go into remission.

I now think Azula recovering is incredibly important as a narrative, because it lets people with personality disorders see her healing and see that possibility for themselves.

when your life is falling apart but you have to cram an assignment for uni

Stereotype - an innocent label?

What is a stereotype? The first thing that comes to mind is that it's just that women can't drive cars, men can't paint their nails and women shouldn't be mechanics. But is it true?

Let's start by explaining what a stereotype is. It simplifies certain facts, giving everything a label and sticking to rigid standards. But honestly, who likes labels? Nobody, they could be harmful. Yes, you can say that every stereotype has its reason, or someone can say "This is what the statistics show." But if we were to believe the statistics, then, for example, when you go for a walk with your dog, statistically, you have three legs each.

A stereotype is a tight envelope that often hurts people. For example, why can't a girl be passionate about car mechanics? According to society, she is immediately considered a "tomboy". Assigning an appropriate gender to a given occupation is nonsense and proof that our society still has problems moving forward and looking outside the box. However, harmful stereotypes are slowly disappearing.

So, are stereotypes accurate? Should we follow them? Maybe next time you want to judge someone based on their gender, think twice. As far as I am concerned, for you, it may be just words, but for the other person, it may be something that stays with them and brings them down

My article for school about gender stereotypes, I'm posting it there 'cause in my view it's important to say that here♥️

Just watched No Country for Old Men, and I’m fascinated by the psychological difference between first calling then flipping a coin, and flipping the coin first and calling while it is covered. This is despite the two scenarios being statistically identical.

Calling first, both options are at time identical and there is no wrong answer. Flipping first, there is a definite right and wrong answer, you just don’t know which is which. The onus is entirely upon you to make the right call, rather than on random chance to make your call the right one.

I did a presentation in class yesterday in my anthropology, sociology, and psychology class about misophonia and, unsurprisingly, no one other than one other student - who also has misophonia, in my class knew anything about it.

I told them about my own experiences, and how it's very hard to diagnose or be taken seriously because of how unknown the disorder is, as it was only "discovered" in two thousand one. I also told them to, as gently and bluntly as possible, shut the fuck up and stop whispering to each other in the middle of class when you're supposed to be doing other shit because it really gets to me.

The other student who has it said that she was very glad that at least now a room of people knows some things about the disorder in a world where hardly anyone knows anything about it, and they and the teacher both thanked me for my presentation.

Everyone gave me a round of applause afterwards, and I felt both kinda freaked out (/n) since it was all directed at me, but kinda good at the same time. I'm not all that special though since everyone else also got applauded for their work, but I was the first person to present at all so I felt special in the moment.

If you don't know what misophonia is, it's where someone is less tolerant to certain person-made noises. These noises can oftentimes lead to people's fight-or-flight responses being triggered or just becoming incredibly distressed, which sucks balls since you usually have to put up with the noises and response until they finally stop. This is just a small explanation, so it's best you do your own research if you want to learn more about misophonia.

A little goes a long way!

I woke up today at 3:00am.... it was relatively dark. I usually wake up at 5 to do some ill attempt at working out. But! when I woke up today. My body knew it was too early. In my large queen size bed. Half dressed in clothes I dare not put away because well. I 'm a mess. When I need to look do things its hard to find them because they are folded and I cannot Identify what's what! I turn over from facing my wall. To the large pile of clothes that literally take up half of my bed.

In the pile, I sift through the close to find my phone and Wa La. I find my phone and the time of 03:00. From here, I turn back over to face the wall and recover myself with my blanket that's half swallowed by my clothes. The room is cold. And my body is starting to be alert as if I'm awake now. Annoyed at the fact my body is waking up. So does my consciousness. Drifting from the silent space of empty thought. In to this warm aware and loud sounding space in my head.

I turn from the wall on to my back and glare up at the ceiling. Bored already. Time is beginning to move. I don't want to get up. I not want to move my body and force this fat that's been keeping me warm to leave. My natural winter coat. Keeping still, I lay there. lightly thinking of what exercises I should do. This is a morning of many. Bored with this routine, I glare away from the ceiling to my phone and scroll the ticktock. Bored even further with the usuals of what's my (for you) page until I come across. The show "What would you do?"

I like this show because it is a light form of social experiments. Putting people in predicaments to see if they will or will not step up in a time of need. So I watched a few clips and then drift over to YouTube from ticktock. Because the episodes are much longer on YouTubes platform. There I watch some interesting ones. And ones that are a lot more serious. I think I watched five. In this time I have wasted my sleep time watching videos. Now! I'm even more annoyed with myself. I should have just went back to sleep. It's 06:00 and Now I'm up writing. lol

But! one of the videos struck a cord for this entry. The spoiled child! the last video was about a parent who was on a budget of $100.00 and a child who was rude and mean to his mom. He wanted the $200.00 sneakers and she could only afford the $100.00 sneakers. the scene begins where they walk into he store and he's a head of her. She kindly and politely reminds him of there budget a he starts to call her stupid and yell at her. Then he tries to get people on his side. But! Of course the other adults, sided with the mom. And also tries to reason with the 13 year old boy.

Then, this has me thinking about my own experiences. With my mother. Where, one, she would have literally slapped me. And also embarrassed me too for speaking to her like that. And two, she would have gotten a pair of shoes for me without me knowing. I would have been told I have a new pair. That would have been that. Event though my mother took us clothes shopping it was always, stand here and hold that. Or! I would look very annoyed and wait for her to shut the hell up because she decided to have this long drawn out conversation with who'm ever she met that day. About me and how fast I was growing. And how expensive I was becoming for her. HUmmm It's not like I gave birth to myself.

Many times I have heard my mother talk bout how she provided for me and my brother in a way that was triggering for her! (My words not hers) Meaning. She got us all the things that she never had. We did all the things that she was not able to do when SHE was young. so! This has me thinking! About the scenario on "What would you do?" If this was real. Are people projecting on to their children, the way my mother was to me? And if so! Is this the behavior that has come from it? And! Is it the Childs fault? Behaving this way, when in fact. The child is not having their own unique experience. But a parallel reality to their parents. To me this is not a real reality. Parents living through there children are not giving their children what it is the actual child needs. To me its a double edge sword. Can we say that this is emotional vampirism. I give you what you need but I give it to you in the way that feeds me from you?

All this thinking so early in the morning. lol So then, I started to think about another time that I've come across this. My house guest was having an issue with for all intended purposes his stepfather. My house guest's mother and her man are common law married. They have been together for 10 plus years. I believe in the state of New York that is Common law. There have been many ups and many downs. Sided with a plethora of arguments of thee most mundane. At least I thought they were silly until I stopped riding my high horse. Down I came with a lent ear. I wanted to know why they argued all the time.

My house guest was much younger than he is now. When this specific situation occurred. And his response was that there's no space. Which I do agree. It maybe a 3 bedroom apartment but there's more than four people living there. Space was defiantly an Issue. The other reason given was that! there was nothing for him to do! You can imagine my surprise when I heard that response. Nothing? there's nothing you could do!? He says no! So I asked. You need to go further in explanation. How could there be noting for you to do? There's outside. There's the internet. And he just me off and says that he's not allowed to go outside. He's not allowed to be on the internet at a certain time. I gasped for air. I Was lost and confused as to why would you not be allowed to go outside or be on the internet.

To. me I thought he was being dramatic. So I go to his stepfather and asked what's wrong. I know it was none of my business. From time to time we all need to talk about what it is that others us. I'm in my 30's and well my generation is the bridge I like to think that has just begun to say it is okay to have feelings and express them too. The stepfather is pushing 60 I think. I know that he is in his mid to late 50's. In his. time men were raised to be emotionless. Not that they could not show emotion. It was that they could not show one's that made people think less of them.

I understood that I had to walk on egg shells. That this person has a strong history of feeling emotionally attacked. with all this being said it took me a few hours to pierce his wall and let him know that he was in a safe space with me. That what ever was said would be safe. Not shared and not made fun of. Listening is just not, If not, more effective for people's spirit than actually talking. Listening with out interjection. Listing without faces and judgment can really bring life back in to a place that was bare and raw. I eventually had to ask him questions when he started to slow down in his expressions. What had come from this was that his father was never home. His father never cared what he did or did not do. He didn't feel protected. Valued or cared for. So inches way this was how she was showing it to my house guest. But! I tried to explain to him. That what he's expressing to my guest was not his issue. What he is seeing with you is a man who won't let him do anything. A man who's hard on him. and for what?

I love listening to people speak. Because in that second of me telling him what he said. Playing it back of him. Word for word. Slowly. He then realized. How his step son felt. How his feelings were being projected on to my house guest and that he also does that in other areas of his life. Has he changed? A bit! He's much older now! From when this situation happened. Because he is a man who has been taken and manipulated by the system and fell into it's traps. He still has a long way to go. Before he is fully different. But! what is important is that he is man who cares for his children and stayed. I can not believe I've gotten all this from laying down in bed, being bored.

Dear Tumbler Diary

This to me, will always be a dream. I have been told by the Goddess of "self love" herself. That I would always have issues with love. I honestly do not know how to unravel that per-say. But! if I had to guess. I would say that the ball will always been my court and I have such an awareness that. I should always do what's best for me. & if I don't then the issue is mine, because I know better.

And like 23 year old me would say. "If you know better! Then you should do better"! Now I see that's not completely true. Then I spoke with the mindset of someone who did not have what he has now. I spoke with privilege and arrogance. I spoke like I knew everything. I also think that's why I'm still single. Because I think I know everything. I can also see how that's a major turn off. I myself am turned off by it. I can see how others are too.

When It comes to love I'm very delusional and I know I cannot be trusted. My head and heart are always fighting about what they want and what they need. The modern gay is too free and uneducated on how to court and love one another. We have many examples of how to fuck and have safer sex. But! not too many examples of how to love yourself or how to love the same sex or gender. How to have a successful healthy relationship. That's why I think we as gays and we as non whites have an issues. The stigmas and history surrounding homosexuality and What love is supposed to be. Even what main stream religion says how we’re to love in our organic environments. They won't let it happen. & if it does. Someone, somewhere for the sake or morals and beliefs. Sacrifices something! It does not always have to be grand or even a big sacrifice. But! There's always something given up.

One of the ways homosexuals sacrifice love is, by doing what’s expected of them. Listing to people who probably mean well, but don’t walk in the shoes of us. Happiness is the of the worse sacrifices to make. When stripped of it. Resentment and self loathing kicks in like over watered roots of any house plants. From the inside out it rots. It decay’s. Over time killing the person of all that would have and even could have made them better! Better people and bette for there community.

When I though I had found the love of my life. I was lost in desire. Love spells or attraction spells are dangerous because, they need to be done by people who are of sound mind. To me, if you do not have a strong foundation of self awareness, aware of your own imperfections and well as your blessings. Then you sorta cursed yourself to be with someone who you! Become dependent on.

One night in my early years of adult hood. I took it upon myself. With my half baked mindset. To cast into the universe to bring to me the qualities in a man that I hold dear and desired. This man was a man who had the eye of everyone. But! who came home to me! He was wealthy in love and energy. And yada yada yada. So I wrote these qualities down on a paper bag. Written in devil blood ink. On the night of a new moon of blessings. I took my deck of tarot. "This is where I fucked up" and placed the Lovers first followed by the Six of cups. Here! is where I FUCKED ME! and hard too. Followed by other suits. It was a while ago. So forgive for not giving too much detail. I had a red votive candle blessed and charged the night before. I placed it directly on my deck and anointed the space with Freshly cracked black pepper and willow leaves from Central Park. I love working with willow. And yes of course the tincture was blessed and anointed by HECATE. So not only did I call out to the Universe. I called HECATE too. Which was not really a good Idea. because I did not offer her the things I was supposed to. And back then I was depressed and was looking for a way of escape. In that time of my life. Sexual pleasure was my way out. "Who says being a slut isn't fun!"

Now! fast forward many years later A child of Yemaya and of the other Orisha, I know more now. Even better! I should have not only respected myself. But! my craft. Looking back now I can say I disrespected HECATE. writing this I see I have a debt to pay! She too has always been good to me. Blessed me with all wishes i asked for. Now, i take into account of how I cast spells and what for. Not all things can be completed with magic. But! It sure helps. Lol to be honest a natural love. And health and bountiful love will come to me. I just have to be sure to be ready for it. And welcome it with light and love in my heart, money on the bank and foundation so strong. That even when the earth quakes, moves and cries we are undisturbed and unaware of the fires that are outside our door!

serve your plate first before serving others.

He asked me when I fell in love with him and I knew it sounded dramatic to say the moment I saw him, so I told him this story of my grandma who had Alzheimer's- she forgot her name and the words for fruit and food, she forgot her address and how to use the washroom, all her life lost to the disease. The only thing she remembered was her son's name and when that began to fade, the one thing she always remembered was that she loved him, even in illness, even in insanity. She saw this 6 foot 2 man with a scrubby beard and she didn't know him but she said she trusted him, she asked him to hold her hand when she died. When does memory end and love begin? All I know is- she loved him before she remembered him.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

Uhhhhhhhhh yea

Writing tip #1

As a reader, one of my biggest pet peeves is seeing a character introduced as "clever", their intelligence treated as some sort of super power that helped them out of impossible situations off-screen or even worse, they solved basic elementary problems that I remember getting as homework in middle school and everybody is in awe of such a wondrous mind. As a reader, few things irk me more than that kind of characterization.

But as writer, I get it! I understand the appeal of writing smart character, they can be so cool and challenge our traditional perception of strength and pose interesting questions etc... and as I'm not that bright myself either, I end up with the sensation of struggling to write a character much smarter than myself.

But that's okay! Luckily for me, I study developmental and cognitive psychology, which gives me tools to help me write smart characters without having the same skillset, so I thought I would share!

#1: research cognitive psychology, because there is so much more to say than what I know and can fit in a tumblr post, so go look it up- I promise it's worth it.

#2: your IQ number is practically a myth. Unless it helps diagnose and measure a global intellectual deficiency, that number alone is generally worthless as it's nothing but the average between scores of wildly different abilities which belong to the traditional model of intelligence (around which there is no consensus today, so keep in mind that it's incomplete at best.) From that it follows that it's a terrible way to describe a character, as it doesn't refer to any specific skill -and while there is partial correlation between these scores, I can guarantee you nobody is exactly as good in calculus as they are in English as they are in geometry etc. Describe what the character is smart in, what "kind" or smart they are if you wish; the separation between book smart, street smart and people smart is a good start, but still not enough: there are many flavours of booksmart alone, nevermind the others. Again, look it up: an easy background to use is the Wikipedia page for "Theory of Multiple Intelligences". I promise it will help!

#3. Sometimes less is more. Your character doesn't have to be the best student in the country or win every prize. Did you know that Einstein was considered a bad student? Or that the incredible mathematician Euler got second place in the 1727 Paris Academy Science Competition? It's fine for your character to be second place, it's fine not to win every time, even in their own domain of expertise. If you tell me someone got the bronze medal at the Olympics, I'm still gonna assume them a better athlete than the vaste majority of people, and few would disagree with that idea; it's the same with intelligence. Your character should be allowed to fail, and simply to not always be the best -if not because it makes them more humane, because we love to project on smart characters, it strokes our ego. Think of all the stressed out straight A students on the verge of burn-out projecting on your characters: let them know it's okay! A- is still very good! You're doing great!

Anyway I'll probably make more posts about this because there's so much to say but it's probably too long already so I'll stop here. You know how it works, this is just my opinion, I'm not the authority on writing, but I thought it could be helpful so if it doesn't work for you, don't follow this advice! Let me know what you think, and please be kind

Prefacing this by saying that I don't know if this is going to make sense, and there's a reasonable chance this is going to sound weird and off-putting, so I'll attempt to explain it as best possible.

From the time that people around me starting having it up until now, there's something that's so captivating about imaging the sex lives of people I know.

Not because I'm necessarily turned on by the surface level specifics of what they do, or how they look in the bedroom bare, but rather because of how one's sexual experiences seem to be such a separate and private part of one's life, and yet they contribute so much to the overall infinite complexity of the human experience.

Fetishes and kinks very quickly come to mind when I entertain such thoughts, especially the sentiment towards not kinkshaming.

Much like you might wonder what someone isn't saying when they talk to you depending on how close you are, you might also ponder what "does it for them" when there's no need to conceal anything, and how this hidden persona potentially affects their daily lives.

I feel as though these hypothetical imaginings are possibly the reason why so many queer people often jokingly (but sometimes not-so jokingly) make claims that seemingly straight passing men and women like to get pegged, or like to "munch box" respectively.

As humans, we seek community and relatability, and fantasizing about the private lives of others, even if based in complete fiction, is a way to not feel so trapped in our own existence.

i created a meme about how edward tolman broke up with physics after reading william james' "principles of psychology"

i took einstein's image from that photo of him standing next to edward's brother (richard tolman who actually became a physicist) and looking hilariously confused

unfortunately our professor was in a rush and kinda shamed me for the delay i made to let everyone appreciate the meme

i'm sick of 'psychologists' on tiktok implying that people pleasers are manipulators using social acceptance to get high on dopamine. why am i supposed to feel guilty for growing up in an unpredictable environment & being constantly tired bc of hypervigilance & feeling like i have to be nice to stay safe which is lowkey stockholm syndrome. such a slut for dopamine

guys fr be basing their whole personality on one of these

Remember that all the pain, all the sadness and the anger can be channeled to give you an incredible strength. But pay attention: don't let these emotions take control of you. YOU have to control them. #innerpower . . . . . . #magic #spiritual #power #psychology #mind #emotions #body #backmuscles #backmuscle #gay #instagay #gaygym #gayguy #gayback #quotes #instaquote #motivationalquotes #motivation #underwear #menunderwear #shoulders #shredded #muscled #ripped #gayfit #fit #fitness (presso Fribourg, Switzerland)

Work hard, dream big 👌🏼🎉 #endofbachelor finally!! 😍 #psychology . . . . . #traintotransform #fitpage #mealplans #fitnesspage #fitnessrevolution #fitnessrich #fitnesspro #workoutday #gayfitmen #fitnesspt #healthyme #fitnessrocks #hotmuscles #rippedbody #fitnessgram #workoutlife #fitnesspower #gymprogress #fitnessboy #gaymuscles #shirtlessguys #fitnessquote #sixpacks #healthychoice #ifbb #physique #abs #mensphysique (presso Ticino, Switzerland)

#Tbt two years ago, with some of my Bachelor friends. Future psychologists 😜 My Spice Girls ❤️ Thank you for all these moments @amandacapobianco_12 @iellibus @sabachd Always and forever ❤️ . . #friends #moments #unforgettable #party #love #alwaysandforever #foreverfriends #girls #spicegirls #like #university #psychology #bachelor #students #likeforlike #like4like #follow #past #smile #happy #funny #photooftheday #picoftheday #truth #together #always (presso Fribourg, Switzerland)