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Homesick Guilt (short ficlet (?) Ft. Nexus, inspired by "Shots" by Imagine Dragons)

Nexus lay in his room in his lab, alone and in silence. Sun was out doing whatever it was he did on his own, Ruin had gone off somewhere himself as well. So Nexus was left to his own devices. But that was fine. Being alone was preferable right now, with how he was feeling. And as he lay in bed, letting his mind wander to anything and everything he came to a song Sun played on the radio at home.

He tried not to think about it, but the more he did and the more he found himself mouthing the words, then searching and playing it off his own speakers, and as he listened to it, he felt a strange…well connection may not be the right word but it seemed to fit at the same time.

He moved and wrapped his arms around his stomach as a heavy ball of guilt settled in his gut, his mind racing through everything that led him here, his breakdown in Sun's arms, every insult he hurled at Earth, loosing his grip on reality entirely, even threatening his family, the one person he'd gone mad to save even.

How easily he had turned his back on them when they were trying to help him. Sure none of them could quite understand his grief, though they knew the feeling just as well, but they were all grieving, all handling it in their own ways I'm their own time.

And now, laying here listening to the song, he began to realize how stupid he had been, how caught up he was in his own emotions that he ended up hurting everyone that tried to help him. Even seeing the one person he'd done all this for had done nothing to help him. Maybe he really was too far gone…

He brought his hands up, covering his face as he began to sob. Everything hit all at once, the feeling of Sun's hugs, the gossip and personal talks with Earth, the teasing with Lunar, even getting up to antics with Monty. He was hit with the biggest wave of guilt mixed with homesickness.

And he felt he had no right to miss it, not when he pushed it all away and ruined it for himself.

So he stayed in his bed, laying there and sobbing, grieving all over again for the life he had before.