Plants Have Ears I Just Know It - Tumblr Posts

As someone who has pet sat/house sat, and yes, plant sat; this strikes a chord for sure.

"You just woke up one day and decided to do that?" ---That comment of Peter's was my expression at a work colleague's home. Multiple cats and a plethora of plants. You know what cats do when they get bored and sense that their human is away and the visitor who doesn't smell quite right (i.e. not their human) comes after work every day to feed, water, and bond? They have fun redistributing plant material around the house. Fortunately everyone survived, but you captured the nervousness of the scenario quite well. I grow stuff outside but my interior is pretty dark so not so many houseplants.

Well done!

Hey- can I get a Peter Parker helping his girlfriend with her house plants and such? (Like finding and researching good fertilizer and pruning her plants?) and a chaotic Miles Morales?

Ahhh, this is my first request!

Summary: Peter watches your plants while you're away. He thinks they're all dying so he enlists Miles to help. It goes as well as you expect.

Also this is very self-indulgent as I want to have all the plants in my house

Peter Parker liked to consider himself a man of science. It wasn’t just his strong suit, approaching things-events, problems, etc.- scientifically just made sense to him.

It was why he did so well in chemistry in college. Botany, however, was a different story. One that he never tried to read. When it came to biology, he was more curious about the living organisms, given the whole Spider-Man situation. Plants on the other hand, weren’t of great interest to him.

So when you said you liked plants, he thought that meant you had maybe two or three at max.

He was wrong. So wrong.

Peter didn’t even know that many types of house plants existed until he walked into your apartment. It wasn’t just a few here and there. You had multiple plants hanging from your windows-in addition to the ones that were sitting by the windowsills, three plants in the bathroom (not including the eucalyptus in your shower), one plant stand devoted entirely to plants, and then a bookshelf and a half that had more plants than books. You had even found a way to mount several plants to your wall.

“You just woke up one day and decided to do that?” He asked.

You shook your head, “No. I saw it on Tik Tok, got permission from my landlord, and then decided to do it.”

He loved your passion. He loved listening to you describe your various plants, how each one was different, required different care. Seeing you hold up a plant, your face beaming with pride because you thought your Jade plant was truly done for once it began to drop leaves but then you were able to nurse it back to health, was the cutest thing in the world to him. He could listen to you for hours.

Of course, being the good boyfriend that he is, he was determined to be able to not just understand what you were saying, but also help you. His super strength came in handy when you had to move your larger, tropical plants to your shower for their bath day (as you called it) since ‘it makes them feel like they’re in a rainforest, also it gets rid of the dust’. It also helped whenever you had to go to the store to get multiple bags of fertilizer.

He got you a big whiteboard calendar so you could keep track of what plants needed water on what days.

“This way you won’t have sixty different alarms on your phone,” he said with a smile. You knew some of it was teasing, but it was mostly love-love for you.

So, when you had to go out of town for a week, Peter knew it was his time to shine. Time to show you that was he competent and could take care of your plants.

Miles and Aunt May teased him about it, reminding him that he wasn’t watching a pet or small child. He knew that. But he also knew that if he could show you that he could successfully take care of your plants on his own, maybe-hopefully- that would show you that he could take care of a small animal or maybe even a child with you in the future.

At his request-because he refuses to mess this up-you wrote out the schedule of the maintenance your plants required for him before you left.

“You’ll do just fine. I wouldn’t have left you in charge if I had any doubts,” You assured him before kissing Peter ‘goodbye’ for what seemed like the twentieth time.

“I just want to make sure,” He said, giving you that sweet, lovesick look he always had when he saw you.

“I trust you babe. You’re going to do great.”

Peter didn’t want to let you down.

So when your Lady Palm plant began to show some browning on the tips of several leaves, Peter took a deep breath and stayed calm. He knew this was a natural occurrence and from countless research, as well as staring at you while you did it (because you were so pretty, how could he not?), he knew what to do. A few snips here and there and your plant was good as new. Crisis adverted.

Right?

It’s like your Jade plant saw Peter, all proud that he had solved a plant problem and knew. She knew that she had to spite him, had to raise his heartbeat somehow. Which was why he freaked out when he saw that it was dropping leaves again. She (as you had told him repeatedly) wasn’t supposed to do that. At all. She was one of your favorite plants and the last thing Peter wanted to do was show you a dead version of Jade when you came home.

The bad plant luck didn’t stop there. While watering, Peter noticed that the roots on your fiddle leaf fig plant were showing. That was the plant your sister-in-law got you for your birthday. It was also the plant you were so worried about until Peter (after hours of research) told you that you were supposed to prune it so it could go and he was so proud so he couldn’t have this plant die either.

And then your favorite succulent decided to bloom a flower. Before dating you, Peter thought that was a good sign. After your many frantic “No Peter. That’s not good for a succulent. Did you ever see a cactus with a flower on it in a cartoon depiction of the desert? There’s a reason for that!”, he learned that was bad news bears.

Which was why he got Miles involved. He didn’t want to leave your plants alone, for fear that if he left, they would all somehow die at the exact same time. Because that’s how his current luck was going.

“You got the specific fertilizer, right?” Peter asked as soon as he opened the door.

“Yes, I sent you like five pictures confirming, remember?” Miles said, holding up

“And you got the hedge trimmer?” Peter asked as he walked over to the kitchen counter, which currently had plant problem #1 on it.

“Yes, May says hi by the way. And that you’re overthinking, though ‘it is sweet’. Her words, not mine,” Miles put down the fertilized and took in the scene on the kitchen counter, “Are we saving a plant or doing a surgery?”

Peter knew that May was probably right. Did he need to put a towel underneath the succulent, and have an overhead light shining over top of it? No, but it made him feel like he was back in a lab, which put him more at ease. It also helped him not imagine you coming home to your plants dying. Because who would want to stay with someone who can’t take care of some plants?

“I did my research. It is possible to cut off the flower from the succulent-“

“So we are performing a surgery. Think I can add this to my college application?”

“But,” Peter ignored Miles’ quips, “We have to be extremely careful. We can’t just rip it off, otherwise we could destroy the cells nearby it and,” He paused, “Potentially kill it.”

“Have you considered waiting until y/n-the actual plant expert- gets back?” Miles offered.

“And what? Tell them, ‘Hey despite you showing me how to do everything, I still killed all your favorite plants?’” Miles should have known by now- if Peter was stressed and it was related to you, rationale suggestions usually went over his head.

“Alright so….are we going to like, guillotine this plant or are we doing an old-fashion beheading?”

“Using your gloves, you’re going to hold the plant while I try to clip off only the flower,” The last thing Peter wanted was for you to come home and find your favorite cactus cut in half.

“I thought you said only to use the gloves for Spidey things-“

“Oh please, like you don’t use it for other stuff,” Peter snapped back. Miles shrugged, realizing his mentor was a) totally right and b) it was better to just go along with him at this point.

Miles pulled out the gloves and put them on. This way the spikes couldn’t hurt him (nor would it stick to him). Peter took a deep breath and leaned down, getting as close to the root of the flower as he could without cutting off any part of the actual plant.

Miles stared intently at Peter, holding his breath. Finally, he couldn’t help it, “So after this-“

Peter stopped and looked up, “Are you really asking me this now?”

“I’m afraid I’ll forget.”

“Miles.”

“There’s a new pho place I want to try!”

Peter sighed, regretting this decision, “If I tell you we go, will you stop talking for the rest of this procedure?” Miles nodded his head.

Despite having battled countless of villains, Peter counted this as one of the highest-stress moments of his life. He just didn’t want to disappoint you or worse, make you sad.

After several minutes of silence, Peter let out a huge sigh of relief once the flower was cut off. The damage to your cactus was minimal and hardly noticeable which was exactly what he wanted.

“You know, for a moment I was really worried that he wasn’t going to make it,” Miles deadpanned. As much as he enjoyed spending time with Peter, he couldn’t help but call out the guy when he was being ridiculous. Even if it was for love.

“Alright, now we just need to repot the Jade plant since it’s not getting proper drainage,” Peter said, getting out the new planter that he may or may not have Door-Dashed (who knew Home Depot was now one of their clients).

“Alright, where’s the next patient?” Miles asked. Peter motioned over to the plant that was on your coffee table.

“I’ll get it-“ Miles said, reaching his arm out.

“Miles wait-“

Before he could finish his sentence, a web shot out from one of Miles’ shooters. He flicked his wrist back, but then it became obvious immediately that the kid wasn’t expecting the plant to be that heavy. Miles and Peter ducked so neither one would get hit with the plant. Instead, it went straight into the kitchen wall.

“It’s heavier than it looks,” Peter whispered, finishing his sentence.

“I….I can clean that up,” Miles said, walking over to the plant that was now lying on your kitchen floor, dirt and bits of clay splayed around it.

“Forget cleaning it, the plant is out of a pot!!” It took everything in Peter not to yell.

“You can always replace it,” Miles offered, inching away from Peter slowly.

“I can’t replace her plant! She’s going to notice right away!” Peter said, running a hand through his hair, trying not to strangle his mentee.

“I mean, what is it they always say? You’re gone for a week, you come back, and your plant looks like they had a growth spurt?”

Peter sighed deeply, “Children, Miles. They say that about children. Not plants.”

“Oh.”

“Alright, if we move quick, I think we can repot it,” Peter gently picked up the plant and held it out to Miles, “Hold it like it’s a newborn puppy.”

Miles nodded while Peter moved quickly to fill up the new pot with fertilizer. Pho was definitely out of the question now.

--The next day—

As soon as you saw Peter in your apartment, you hugged him. You couldn’t help it, the suitcase you had thrown to the ground could always be picked up later. He wrapped his arms around you, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“I missed you,” You said into the crook of his neck.

“I missed you too baby,” He whispered, kissing your forehead. You broke away to kiss him on the lips, something you were surprised you hadn’t done that.

“How did plant watching go?” You asked with a smile.

“Oh it was good. We all had a fun time,” He said. While it was subtle, you could detect the nervousness in his voice.

“Awesome. Let’s see how they’re doing,” You broke away from him to walk over to your windowsill.

“Hey babe, do you want to get some pho? Miles showed me this great new place-“

“Maybe later. Why isn’t it on the windowsill Peter?” You asked.

“Oh, I….I thought she wanted….wanted to visit a new place! I moved her, she just wanted a change of scenery, you know?”

“Has anyone told you, you’re a terrible liar?” You remarked. It was obvious Peter was nervous about something, given how much he was stuttering and stumbling over his words. You couldn’t help but smile a little, as it reminded you of the time he tried asking you out. You eventually had to interrupt him and ask if he wanted to go on a date because a) you felt bad and b) he was so cute that it made you crush on him even harder.

“I’m not lying! She was looking bored, like she wanted a change of pace.”

“Alright, then where is she?” You said as you walked over to the kitchen counter. You paused and looked closer at the floor.

“Why is there fertilizer on the floor?”

Peter realized the gig was up, “Promise you won’t get mad?”

“Peter,” You wrapped your arms around his neck, “What happened?”

“I….may have thought all your plants were dying and asked Miles to help me.” You couldn’t help but chuckle, imagining the numerous scenarios that could have led to there being fertilized on your floor.

“Where’s Jade?”

“I put her on the bookshelf. I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.” You walked over to the bookshelf, taking a close look at your plant.

“Peter….she’s fine.”

“Really? I thought she was a goner.”

“Actually? She looks better than before I left. Her leaves were dropping, and I meant to repot her before I left. But it looks like you already did that?” Peter nodded, “And it led to Miles getting fertilizer in the kitchen?”

“So I didn’t kill your favorite plant?” You shook your head as you grabbed his hands, pulling him into you.

“No Peter, you didn’t. But next time, please call me if you have a question before involving Miles, okay?”

“Deal,” He grinned as he leaned in to kiss you, happy that he was able to prove that in addition to being Spider-Man, he also made a great plant-sitter and boyfriend.