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In denial (Pansy Parkinson x reader)

Warnings: none

Summary: for years y/n denied her feelings for Pansy and tries to push them away

It all started when you were 5, you and Pansy lived next door to each other so it was rare that you weren’t playing at each other’s houses. Your favourite game to play was house, you and Pansy always argued about who would be the mum. Both of you were as stubborn as ever and not much has changed in that sense. But even at that time you were wrapped around her finger no matter how stubborn you were, so eventually you let her be the mum and you be the dad.

Neither of you thought at the time that two girls could be married and have a family (made up of stuffed animals and dolls). You loved pretending to be married to each other.

You got into your early teenage years at Hogwarts, Pansy had multiple boyfriends before you even got your first one, you’d not wanted one for a long time. You’d convinced yourself that boys weren’t all that bad and at some stage you’d have to settle down.

You had a couple short term relationships but you weren’t in love with any of them. You saw them as good friends.

Throughout it all you insisted you were straight, that there was no feelings towards Pansy. You thought that up until a couple weeks ago when you and Pansy were left alone in your dorm room.

Pansy climbs onto your bed, you move over making room for her but she gets closer to you, cuddling into your chest.

“I’m cold and lonely” Pansy complains “you broke up with Draco” “I know but I miss our cuddles” Pansy sighs.

“You are terrible at keeping to a decision” “I never said I wanted him back I’m just craving some attention” you put your book to the side and wrap your arms around her.

Pansy looks up at you admiring your features. The way she looked at you, you desperately wanted her lips on yours.

You slowly made your move, your lips ghosting over hers giving her time to object but she invites you in. You close your eyes and press your lips to hers, you could feel her soft lips kissing you back.

Your hands move to her cheek and in her raven hair. Her hands slide underneath your top moving up your back nearing your shoulders. You pull away your lips still close to hers.

“Why’d you stop?” Pansy mutters against your lips “I wanted to give you a chance to back out” “If I wasn’t into this I would’ve backed out” she presses two soft kisses to your lips before she kisses you again.

You’d never kissed someone and felt such a connection. You were both hungry for each other, you never wanted her to let go of you.

Her lips move from yours down your jaw and to your neck sucking light hickeys on your skin. “That feels nice” she sucks a bit harsher catching you off guard, your fingers tangle in her hair pulling on it.

Pansy’s lips detach from your skin and she nuzzles her face into your chest. “Pans, you’re not doing this because you miss Draco, are you?” “No, I want you, only you” “Me too.”

You didn’t want to admit it but Pansy telling you she wanted only you was comforting. If you had Pansy, you could try to come to terms with your sexuality instead of hiding it.