Ooooh Very Interesting Theory - Tumblr Posts

*MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD*

There are already several notes in the inbox about Melinda, so let's get right to it.

We now know, without a doubt, that she actually cares a lot for Damian. The panic she shows is real, especially since this panel comes right after we find out Twilight has in fact, rushed back to Berlint, and also Yor running to the scene. Their parental concern is real, and so is Melinda's.

Which is what makes her thoughts that Anya reads later on so... interesting. Anya compares Melinda to uncle Yuri, and I think it's not so much because he's a weird little dude working secretly as a secret policeman but because of this - his mind is a wall of thoughts about his sister and how much he loves her. The feelings are genuine, just extreme and a bit overwhelming.

And so we get to the final panels, where we see Melinda's love for Damian contend with her contempt for him. She wishes he'd died in the hijacking. She thinks she is 'burdened' with her son. She calls him her 'curse'. She hopes he doesn't have to stay with her for long (the kids all got home passes after the incident.) She feels disgust for her son... And more important, she doesn't want Damian to let Donovan know she's been there. What's going on?

I have a theory.

First thing. We know from the series that there's quite a bit of an age gap between Damian and Demmy. Demmy sounds older, he's been at Eden long enough to get 8 Stellas, he's never seen in the primary school section of Eden, his handwriting isn't that of a 6 year old, his history test paper looks advanced etc.

Second thing. With Melinda's insistence that Damian not tell his father about being there to see him, it gives us a slightly different interpretation of her scenes earlier in the series with Yor. Melinda doesn't want to talk about Damian. She doesn't want people to think she cares. If others think she's hands-off, good.

Or at least, she doesn't want to talk about Damian in public. Not with people who theoretically know her well. But when she's alone with Yor, Melinda does want to talk about Damian - she's the one who brings him up. She also lets slip that she has in fact been keeping informed of her son.

Third thing. Well, as I noted at the start of this post, it can't be doubted now that Melinda loves her son, a lot. She isn't as hands-off as others think she is. Like all the other parents, she rushed to her son with worry in her eyes and panic in her voice.

My interpretation is... Melinda loves Damian, but because of that, she cannot leave Donovan, or their marriage, or the Desmond household. She is held hostage because she loves. She wants to escape, but she can't. That's why she calls Damian her curse, her burden. He is the baby who arrived (relatively) recently who his husband can use as leverage, even as Demmy is becoming old enough that the eldest son can't be used as a bargaining chip any more. She continues to be a prisoner because part of her soul is in the prison with her.

And so, like Twilight, she tries to keep herself detached from her own child. She has to convince herself she does not love him. She does not want to care. She does not want him to stay with her long because it would mean getting attached. If Damian had died, she thinks she could be free. She wants to be a bad mother, cold to her son, cruel to her own flesh and blood, because if she allows herself to be a good mother, she would never be able to leave him behind. And she wants to leave...

I think it fits in with the little clues we've gotten along the way and fits in with the series' themes about lies and love. She doesn't want to let known in public she cares about Damian, because it would get back to Donovan. She doesn't want Damian to tell his father, because it would give Desmond only more leverage. She wants to hate her child, because she loves him too much.

Anyway, just my two cents. Could be way off on this one. Maybe Melinda's just weird.