One Very Determined Person Demands Answers - Tumblr Posts

One of the more well-known aspects of Zoroastrianism is the ‘sky burial’, where your body is placed on top of a tower and left for carrion birds to devour. As it is a religious ceremony it might be covered under the First Amendment but please check your local ordinances before leaving your corpse on a tower as the Health Department may take issue and it is a pain getting building permits in the first place. ‘Best’ is a very relative term, birds have digestive systems to suit their various diets. Lammergeiers are capable of dissolving bones, Turkey Vultures have acids powerful enough that diseases are killed by it, and the less said about Chickadees the better. That is a question more suited to @blurds but I can tell you first-hand it is harrowing and you do not ever want to experience it. As remarked upon by scholars Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J in their treatise Miracles, Pelicans can and will attempt to engulf you and your personal property in their hellish expansible maws. Do not seek out Pelicans, for they are already seeking out you. Do Not Feed Yourself To Birds Please Everybody Stop Asking Me How