Old Poetry - Tumblr Posts

the only person who ever hated me more than i’ve ever hated myself, i now loathe more than i ever thought i could feel for a human being. every time i look in the mirror, i see his eyes. every time i speak, i hear his voice. every time i move, it’s rehearsed advancements, burned into me like brands, and every time i look down i find a new scar… every time i close my eyes, there are images of things he did to me, and i remember that the first man that i was ever supposed to love, hated me. every look, every action, and every word was filled with a painful bite that injected a painful venom into me that i fear i’ll never heal from. i never once understood how someone could hate their child so much until i met him. it was all disguised as love in the beginning, but as i grew older, i saw the flaws in the facade, and i grew wiser to the words that seemed laced with adoration. it was never adoration, it was almost always disgust or condescension. he made me believe that fairies exist, when in reality they were dark beasts lurking in the darkness of my naivety. once he decided that i’d hid in the comfort of my ignorance for long enough, he tore the light of hope that protected me and replaced it with the shadow of terror that still haunts me to this day. this man – the first i was supposed to ever love – tore every shred of innocence from my small, frail hands, and put in them a grim but beautiful world that i was, and still am too scared to behold.

- an ode to the man who never truly loved me

Lost in the Forest

By me

Tree after tree after tree

Nobody seems to answer me

Calling and calling and calling, and scream

An ocean of endless evergreens

Washing and washing and washing away

Where was I even going today?

Walking and wandering as if in a dream

The world stitched together with a forest seam

girl stfu challenge

why would I ever write this challenge