Often Feel Like This - Tumblr Posts
My own sleeping beauty (Chrollo-Fluff)
Today is just a day where you don´t want to leave your bed, where simply getting out of bed is a horrible task, where brushing your teeth seems impossible, where the thought of eating breakfast makes you sick because you'd have to get out of bed first.
And you know you have to get up because it´s not healthy to let your depression wash all over you again and chain you to your bed to rot. But you just can't help it. You really can't. So to tune your negative thoughts off, you simply turn to the other side and shut your eyes for another dreamless nap. You already know that it´ll leave you even more exhausted than now.
After some time, you´re being woken up by your boyfriend, who is gently stroking your hair and calling your name. Lazily, you turn to your back to look at him while mentally scolding yourself for spending the whole day sleeping.
"Good morning, my dear," he chuckles. "Or should I say good evening?" You can´t help but feel guilty for doing nothing productive today. Starting to hate yourself for being like this then hating on yourself again for feeling so much hate for your own brain, which is a never ending cycle of growing hate towards you.
"Sorry, I should have made dinner for us since you´ve been working this whole week while I´ve been at home doing nothing." You slowly sit yourself up and try to rub the sleep out of your eyes, feeling ashamed. "I just don´t know what´s wrong with me. I can´t even say that I´ve rested well," you feel the tears welling in your eyes as you explain yourself to your boyfriend, "I dont know why this keeps happening to me like last week I've been doing so well but now I have this urge to isolate myself and rot away in my bed... I'm sorry."
Chrollo knows that you sometimes struggle with your mental health which worries him a lot when he's not with you. Thinking and researching of ways to help you like buying you a nice bullet journal for to-do lists or hiding little self-written poems so that when you do something like cooking you'd find it inbetween the plates. But even those are sometimes not enough.
Now that you´re sitting he lets his hand slide down to cup your cheek and says"My love, there is nothing to feel guilty about. I won´t judge you for you are only human too" He then grabs you gently by your waist and pulls you onto his lap so that he can embrace you. "Even if you were to sleep all year long I´d not leave your side," he whispers while rubbing your back. "You are like my own sleeping beauty, who only awakens with the gentle touch of true love".
His words never fail to fluster you, leaving you wondering how he can still be in love with you even though you can be such a mess sometimes. Overwhelmed by his statement, you can´t find the right words to say something back, so you just sigh and lean your head in the crook of his neck.
Suddenly he stands up with you in his arms "How does a bath together sound to you, my dear?" Without waiting for your answer he proceeds to walk to your shared bathroom and put you down on the closed toilet so that he can prepare the bath. While the tub is filling up with water, Chrollo gives you a gentle kiss on your forehead and instructs you to wait there for him.
While he was gone, you forced yourself to stand up and brush your teeth then to throw a bath ball into the now full tub. Chrollo enters the bathroom again with fresh clothes for you and him in his hand and smiles lovingly as he sees you. He puts the clothes on the washing machine and helps you out of your pajama.
After helping you into the bathtub he takes off his outfit as well and puts it with your clothes in the basket. Chrollo then sits down behind you in the bathtub while grabbing the sponge and gently cleaning your back. "My beloved, I´m so proud of you" he whispers, "Despite your own mind turning against you, you have not given up. And I admire you for that, my love," he puts the sponge away and starts washing your hair with soft and gentle motions.
"For most people, waking up with energy and self-love is a given. But not for you - you have to struggle with your own thoughts and mind everyday." He takes your jaw into his hand and slightly turns it to him so that he can give you a soft kiss on the temple, "But my dear, you are still standing strong and fighting. So I can´t help but be proud of you, my precious angel."
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