None. - Tumblr Posts
Everyone in here needs to be talked to. Personally. The actions they have committed need to be apologized for and made up for.
something I think about a lot is how we received ME! as the lead single for lover and I’m genuinely curious:
my personal opinion is that the only song that could feasibly do what she wanted ME! to do best is ITHK because it’s not loaded like Lover/Paper Rings (she was obviously happy to talk about marriage but like… idk if she wanted that to be the FIRST impression for Lover starting out, especially because she ended up making it a reintroduction to herself in so many ways (which is my assumption for why ME! as a song exists and was the lead single)) and it’s still upbeat enough to justify pop radio spins.
just curious as they're always things i've never questioned just doing but people in my life are often surprised that i don't mind doing them alone
🔁 pls reblog for sample size
*hits arven over head* this bad boy can fit so many pride flags in him
i’m gonna jump on the bandwagon too and ask you to reblog this post and tag your FIRST otp ever
lord i am not your strongest soldier
tell me in the tags
hoops or studs/sunset or sunrise/heels or flats/cherry or blueberry/perfume or bodyspray/night in or night out/cooking or baking/tequila or vodka/ penne or spaghetti/autumn or spring/festival or concert/gold or silver
MANIAC #5: Han Jisung (Extended Preview)
«S(INISTER)KZ: MANIACS COLLECTION MASTERLIST»
LEGEND 📓Release status/Rating · 🖤Pairing · 🪐Universe · 🏷️Genre/Trope · 🚨 Warnings
CHAMELEON
📜2.7K words (preview) 📓Explicit, Upcoming 🖤HAN x (afab) Reader 🪐Perv Boyfriend!Jisung 🏷️Angst, Smut, Dark, Psychological, Crime 🚨Story warnings (some of which do not pertain to this preview): Multiple personality disorder, delusion, mentioned death, implied murder, implied assault, double (vaginal) penetration, (self-)verbal degradation, perversion, dom/sub dynamics, breast play, use of sex toys, facial/cumshot, cumplay/cum eating, oral sex, unprotected sex, fully charged vibrators recommended per usual. 📻Accompanying soundtrack 💭Reblogs & comments are always appreciated and please keep in mind they are the ultimate motivation fuel.
A man so desperately in love that he doesn't know the difference between affection and infatuation. He's willing to do anything for the woman he loves. Anything. Lover Han Jisung.
[...]
Early on in the relationship, especially during that honeymoon phase, everybody asked those questions to each other, didn’t they? And as time passed by, they would always descend into the realm of complete absurdity.
‘Would you still love me if I didn’t cook for you?’
‘Would you still love me if I told you we were never going to have sex?’
‘Would you still love me if I was a circus clown?’
‘Would you still love me if I shrunk to two inches?’
Yes. Yes. YES. No matter how ridiculous the questions got, the answer would still be yes. It was either because there was no way to prove whether or not one could actually do it (unless someone invented a shrink ray for real), or because, well… You had to fake it till you make it, at least until the deed was done. Or until you got whatever it was you wanted.
In Jisung’s case, however, it was always a yes because quite literally nothing could stop him from loving you. You were the most beautiful person inside and out for him, and when he was with you, he felt this sense of belonging wrapping him in a cocoon of happiness, making his heart swell three times its size. You would randomly smile at him once, and he’d feel something combust in the pit of his stomach, immediately melting into a puddle. Although you insisted on not moving in together just yet, he loved spending his nights with you whenever he could since you would be the first and last thing he saw at the checkpoints of his consciousness, drifting to sleep in your arms and waking up to you in the morning. Having breakfast with you was his favorite thing to start the day. Unless some drowsy morning sex was taking place where you whispered sweet nothings into each other’s ears until you both managed to see white.
Nothing could stop him from desiring you. He swore no other stimulant was as much of a wet dream fuel as you, so much sexier than any porn he'd ever seen, and Jisung had seen most of it. He would get a hard-on if he so much as smelled your perfume at a cosmetics store, his mind getting infested with the thoughts of what he would do to you later that day until the middle of the night, panting on your chest after spending his entire sanity on you for hours on end.
Nothing could stop him from dedicating his entire life to you. Jisung was sure you were the one; there was no way he could love anybody else but you.
You.
Forever.
That was why he had been trying to figure out the ideal time and place to propose to you for months. It had to be perfect. It had to be unforgettable for his one and only. His queen. His lady.
The cute little ‘Would you still love me if…?’ shenanigans kept on keeping on even three years into your relationship. Jisung got a particular kick out of it since he thought it was the most entertaining form of brain gymnastics like he was at debate olympics every single time. You would come up with the most unhinged scenarios and he would still respond with a yes, then give you an entire lecture outlining the reasons why to eventually convince you. He never managed to not convince you.
"Would you still love me if I woke up as a different person one day, Ji?"
Jisung took a sip from his morning coffee, not breaking eye contact with his laptop screen, "If the person still has your ass, fuck yeah baby."
You didn’t say ‘Cite your sources’ like you usually did; you didn’t even say a mere ‘Explain’. Only a derisive scoff and silence ensued.
"What?" Jisung looked at you with a smile, seemingly a little confused at your lack of usual enthusiastic anticipation of his answers to the stream of weird questions.
"That's easier said than done."
"Well, it’s actually not," Jisung replied with a knowing smile, "You see, I d-"
"Never mind," you got up from your seat to go soak your plate before putting it in the dishwasher. Jisung’s confusion doubled at the sudden drop in your mood.
"Baby, you o-?"
"Please let it go. I’m fine," you cut him off. A pinch of worry splashed in the pit of his stomach over your unusual demeanor, immediately making him drop catching up with his morning briefing, and he made his way over to you by the sink to hug you from behind. Before he could ask you what was wrong, you asked him, your voice seemingly trembling a little.
"Do you love me, Ji?"
Jisung buried his face in the crook of your neck and gave you his usual kiss where he inhaled all your scent first, "Of course I do, baby. You're my everything."
You did only have each other. It was you against the world with no family present in sight, and he was sure you were the one. He couldn’t love anybody else but you.
Jisung should have held that thought maybe because he found himself in love with two other people over time.
One of them was you. His favorite girl. His temptress.
Snarky. Funny. Playful. A woman who enjoyed the prospect of derailing his entire thought process a little too much. So much that you would hide the underwear he got you to soak the night before in the inside pocket of his blazer and then call him at work to check whether he had your credit card on him. An absolute tease in bed he had incredible sexual chemistry with, in perfect sync with his insatiable appetite.
Then came the other one. His vanilla demon princess.
Way too domestic. Clingy. This meek girl who made him feel like an absolute testosterone god. He noticed the changes when he came over to your place after work one day, and you welcomed him with a white blouse and a mini skirt.
You never wore skirts except for a dress at a formal function.
"Did you like your dinner tonight, my love?"
No matter how affectionate, not asshat. Not perv. Not baby. This was the first time you called him that, but that wasn’t even what surprised Jisung.
"My dinner? Since when?" he burst out laughing, "Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend who gives me the ‘Life is equal’ speech on the daily?"
"But I love taking care of my man," you pouted, almost offended at his words.
Your man.
If that didn’t get Jisung to lose his mind a little bit, and maybe give him a little boner. He was flat out flustered.
"It was uh- it was great, baby. Thank you very much for tonight."
You lit up at his compliment and jumped on your feet to clear the empty plates. When you bent over the dishwasher a little too lower than necessary, Jisung groaned at the sight because, well…
You weren’t wearing any underwear.
It was impossible that you didn’t hear it but Jisung wasn’t able to notice the diabolical smile that possessed your lips. You made your way back to him all smiling and sat on his lap.
"I wanna serve dessert for my man now if that’s okay."
It was apparent that Jisung was having a little trouble controlling his surprise over the events unfolding that night, but he went along with it.
"It’s encouraged, baby."
You threw your arms over his neck and started devouring his lips, moaning into them every time he swirled his tongue in your mouth. You broke the kiss when you felt his erection pressing against your thigh.
"Look what came in the mail today."
You ran to your bedroom and brought back a little box for him to open. Jisung’s jaw dropped after seeing what was inside.
"You uh- You got a dildo," he declared matter-of-factly with a nervous chuckle.
"Surprise!" you shyly giggled, "It’s double-ended."
You had never expressed interest in toys before, and considering how usually outspoken you were, it was a little… unexpected. Jisung creased his brows trying to make sense of the situation.
"Are we uh- are we roleplaying right now?"
"No, handsome, why would you say that?" you innocently batted your lashes at him, "I can’t wait to try this," and you dragged him back to your room from his wrist.
You were usually very comfortable with your sexuality, but the things you asked of Jisung had never gone past dirty talking and the occasional ‘There’s this new position I wanna try’ requests. Whatever you asked, Jisung was happy to try because who was he if he didn’t put your pleasure first? You placed the box on your nightstand next to a big bottle of lube that wasn’t there before, grabbed his collars a little too enthusiastically, and whispered in his ear.
"I need my man to ravish me."
Jisung felt himself twitch in his slim-fit slacks, erection way too prominent to go unnoticed by then. He tried really hard to produce a stable voice.
"You do, huh?"
You brought your face way too close to his and spoke with your gaze fixated on his lips.
"Fucking defile your princess."
His princess.
What followed was the most intense sex you had ever had until that day. Your voice a little higher and Jisung’s a little lower than usual for some reason, your incessant requests to be used by him at whatever capacity, loud moans, lewd sounds, scratches, namecalling all over the place. Not that he ever had a problem with his masculinity but Jisung had never felt this much like a sex god before. You grabbed the lube from the nightstand and emptied a huge amount between your breasts.
"Right here. I want my man’s cock in between here."
Jisung almost lost it at your words. He always had commendable stamina but you were hitting him with so much stuff he wasn’t used to that night that if you kept it up, he was sure he wasn’t going to be able to last long. He placed his rock-hard length at the desired coordinates and you squeezed your tits around him. Everything with you had always felt so good, but the way he glided on your chest like that for the first time was simply go insane material.
"Baby, I- I wanna-"
"Fucking cum on my face. Drown your princess with your seed."
"BABY, FUCK!"
Actually wanting to say ‘What the fuck’, Jisung shot his load almost on cue, painting your beautiful features with himself like pressurized water coming from a shower head. By the time he emptied his balls, you had a perverse smile on your face.
"Good? Did it make you feel good?"
"Fucking jesus, you’re killing me tonight, baby."
Your expression turned ecstatic and you reached for the box on your nightstand, "Now, this…"
"No," Jisung grabbed your wrist to stop you, "Who the fuck am I if I can’t please my princess right?"
He first slurped on your face accompanied by your soft moans, cleaning the mess he made on you very carefully like he was dusting a fragile porcelain doll. Then he made his way between your legs and he noticed you were shivering with anticipation. As if he had never eaten you out before.
"Are you… Are you really gonna…?"
"Why of course, princess."
Jisung had never heard you moan that loud before when he connected his lips to your clit. You started melting immediately in his mouth and the more he swirled his tongue on you, the crazier you were going, rolling your hips on his face frantically. He intensified his ministrations, adamant to snap you within less than a minute like he took a bet with himself. He parted your lips ever so gently and started lapping at your clit in earnest.
"PLEASE, FUCK, LET ME!!!"
Jisung didn’t respond and just kept contently moaning into your pussy with extremely obscene sounds, teasing the sensitive bundle of nerves as fast as he could like he was a fucking vibrator at maximum intensity.
"Cum for me, princess. Cum for your man."
You bit into your own fist as Jisung ripped your soul from your body and chucked it into the depths of hell, getting you to basically have a seizure under him. It took a hot minute for you to calm down. He was in awe of how you were reacting to him that night.
"Give me those now," he pointed at the nightstand.
It was really unusual for you to shudder this much every time he made contact with your body, but honestly, Jisung couldn’t complain. He fucking loved being able to fly you out of your body like that, not that his usual performance was not already commendable.
"Since you’re such a good girl for your man tonight, I’m gonna be nice and won’t take that ass with me," he declared while pouring some lube on the dildo, "but you’re gonna be prepared for that next time, princess, right?"
"Anything for my man," you responded with a dumb smile on your face.
Your man.
Something started to mess with Jisung’s head at that point. He grabbed one end of the dildo and aligned it parallel to his cock to fill that perfect sleeve that was your pussy to the brim.
"Fuuuck, would you look at this pretty little cunt? Sopping wet, just aching for more," Jisung softly caressed your thighs.
"All for you," you whimpered under his touch and clenched hard, signaling how needy you were for him. He positioned himself against your entrance and carefully started to make his way in, not meeting any resistance on the way whatsoever.
"Shit, baby, this can’t possibly be your first time. How the fuck are you taking it this well?" Jisung let out a loud groan.
"Your princess has been fucking herself the whole day to stretch for you," you replied almost bashfully, "Claim me now. I want my man to treat me like the slut I am for him."
Jisung still took his time until he bottomed out, making sure you were comfortable with the stretch.
"Look at me, princess."
You held each other’s gaze, Jisung’s way too darkened, yours feigning innocence, but both pairs of pupils blown the same nevertheless.
"You’re gonna be my personal whore now."
"JISUNG!"
What a fucking delicious feeling that was. Jisung was making sure you were aware of every single spot he was hitting inside you, making it crystal clear that he was gonna send you into oblivion in a matter of mere minutes.
"What is it, princess? Fallen from grace a little?"
"Fuck, fuck, FUCK, fucking mark me with your seed. MARK ME!!!"
"Mine. You’re fucking mine. MINE!"
Jisung drenched your clit with as much saliva as he could collect and started working his thumb on it while maniacally ramming himself into you, not caring one single bit about how much you were screaming under him.
"Who do you belong to, princess?"
"You."
"Say it properly."
"My man."
"Again."
"My man only."
"LOUDER!"
"MY MAN! FUCK!!!"
Fucking gone. Jisung evaporated into your pussy, completely leaving his corporal form behind under your violent convulsions, both your moans merging into this alloy of sheer pleasure echoing in the room. When his mind-numbing haze started clearing, Jisung gently emptied you, getting you to leak his cum for him in the meantime, but he couldn’t care less. He just pulled you in his embrace, legs tangled within yours, and let you drift to sleep in his chest in full awareness that he managed to satisfy you beyond his own imagination. He placed a peck on your hair and left the consciousness with a content smile, a little curious whether this would be your new normal from that day on.
Then came the final boss.
The goddess he worshipped.
His fucking mistress.
Temperamental. Manipulator. Would get him to do anything that she wished with that silver tongue of hers including getting him to blow on cue.
Literally anything.
«GENERAL MASTERLIST» · «ABOUT/FAQ» · «ASK/REQUEST» · «TREAT ME TO PUDDING?🍮»
🔖Story taglist: @j-0ne25 ; @seospicybin ; @ballelino ; @bitethejeekies ; @whatudowhennooneseesyou ; @some-stray-marvel ; @fixation-dump ; @heartsarecompatible ; @woooooya ; @streetlight-s ; @staaa96 ; @rainydayrecs ; @rachagen ; @3no-racha ; @honeyedtalisman ; @javachipchan ; @changbinheart ; @luhvrchxn ; @she-wintersoldat ; @elizalabs3 ; @qnjayn ; @feuille-et-pain ; @sparkystraynger ; @yutaalove ; @oiphoebe
📌Permanent taglist: @sai-kida134 ; @ughbehavior ; @bearseungmin ; @skywarriorkirby ; @sunnyville36 ; @hh0320 (@hwan-g) ; @svintsandghosts ; @jl-micasea-fics ; @skz317cb97 ; @abiaswreck ; @skyminniesworld ; @clearlyissleeping ; @changbinluvr ; @lotus-dly ; @gibbysupremeacyisreal ; @imsuchasimp00 ; @idunnomanmynamewastaken ; @downforseochangbin ; @nabis-dreamscape-world ; @bangchanbabygirlx
I won't be honoring any more story tag requests since even this much induces fear that I might get shad0wbanned :') The event will be run every Monday between Sep 12 until Halloween and I will be releasing a schedule later on for your convenience. Thank you for your cooperation in advance!
Naaaaah @guessimaclotpole , you must be imagining things 😉
The AU where Arthur knows about Merlin’s magic and is a mother hen about him getting found out
you can make gay people who wouldnt follow you otherwise follow you if you post about topping
My precious deadline of my life
ii. Seven Days
or, How God Created the World Using RPG Maker
This is the sequel to The Beginning of the Beginning.
Again, please do not be offended by this work. It is not meant to be taken seriously. Also, there are many quotes from the Book of Genesis since this is a parody of the beginning of the world as told by the Bible.
Also I sound really serious but I’m just laughing inside bc I just remembered I wrote this last year
Before the beginning, God sat in front of his laptop (taken from the future - God blessed that poor soul who had their laptop stolen) and opened up the Map Editor in RPG Maker VX Ace. The archangel Michael stood next to him, and received, with a sigh, the laptop from God’s hands (Michael had read the online tutorials before God whisked it away to the present, where there was no Wi-Fi).
Thus, in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep.
“Just make a bunch of black tiles. Whatever I say is going to go into the Bible so I need to sound a little dramatic,” God whispered to Michael. Then he cleared his throat so that Gabriel could transcribe his words properly.
And God said, “Let there be light,” and Michael created some pastel yellow tiles. And God saw that the light was aesthetically pleasing. So God separated the light from the darkness by having Michael separate the yellow and black tiles. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.
“I can’t believe we spent a whole day making some tiles,” God sighed.
Then God said, “Let there be an expanse in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters.”
Michael looked up and frowned. “What is that even supposed to mean?”
God huffed. “What, am I too confusing for you? Just make some blue tiles, separate them vertically and call the ones at the top ‘The Heavens’. Don’t put this part in the Bible, please,” he whispered to Gabriel. And so Michael did as he was told and called their residence ‘Heaven’. And there was evening and there was morning, the second day.
And God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.” And it was so. Michael created blue tiles and placed them alongside yellow, brown and green tiles. God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good.
And God said, “Let the Earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.” And it was so. Michael grumbled a little, muttering something about how he could have just said so before he created the green and brown tiles. He made forests and jungles and inserted random plant tiles all over the map, before dumping the green and brown tiles somewhere in the abyss. And God saw that it was good. And there was evening, and there was morning, the third day.
And God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night. And let them be for signs and for seasons, and for days and years, and let them be lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light upon the earth.”
Michael sighed. “This is definitely going to take the whole day. How many seasons do you want to have?” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Gabriel was dozing off, his carving tool slipping out of his hand. Good job on lasting this long, Gabriel, he thought to himself. Eventually, though, it was indeed so, and God saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day.
And God said, “Let the waters swarm with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the heavens.” So Michael created the great sea creatures and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. This took them quite some time, considering how God was rather ambitious and wanted the earth to have over a million species of animals.
“Why does that fish look like the charging cable for this laptop?” God asked, peering at the laptop screen. “It looks like it’s literally just a grey rectangle.”
“Why don’t you try making them and tell me how it goes,” Michael shot back, while creating another fish. God sulked.
“Anyway, I see that it is passably good. Write that down, Gabriel,” God called out. “Oh yeah, and give them my blessings. Quote me: Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth (God, Way BC).” Gabriel sighed. And there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day.
And God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds - livestock and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds.”
Michael exclaimed, “What the hell is that supposed to be? What even are creeping things? God, you have issues.”
“What the heaven,” God corrected him. Michael sighed (how many times? God knows). “Just make some cows or whatever, some bugs and a bunch of beasts.”
“Do you mean bugs like bugs bugs, or like glitches?”
“I mean like bugs bugs. They’re the creeping things, because they’re so creepy. I imagine it will be a blast watching humans try to deal with them.”
And thus, after some discussion, it was indeed so. (This was when the abominable creatures we know to be cockroaches today were created.) And God saw that it was good, and would probably be hilarious sometime in the future.
Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
“Why can’t you just summarise it and say ‘literally everything on earth’? It makes things so much easier,” Michael grumbled. But he did indeed create man in God’s image, or at least as best as he could with a few pixels.
“Is he supposed to be naked?”
“Yeah, and make a woman too so they can procreate.”
And God blessed them. God leaned close to the laptop and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth. Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. And God saw everything he had made (with the help of Michael), and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.
Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.
“Is that what’s going into the Bible? Gabriel, can you add a note saying that I basically did all the programming? Thanks,” Michael said, scowling a little.
“Good work, Michael and Gabriel. It is over. We may all rest now,” God patted both him and Gabriel.
“Thank God!” Michael closed the laptop and walked off.
“You’re welcome!” God called to his retreating figure.
EPILOGUE: 20 JULY, 1969
When they stepped foot on the moon, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin could only look around in wonder. “My god,” Neil whispered. “This is all I’ve lived for.”
“Hold up, Neil. Look at that stuff over on the right. What are those?”
Together, they stared at the green and brown tiles floating in mid-space (there’s not much air in space). “Is…that a glitch? What the hell?” Neil exclaimed.
Somewhere in Heaven, God frowned. “What the heaven,” he corrected him. “And Michael, aren’t those tiles from when you were making plants?”
“Oh yeah, they are. Oops.”
Why does everyone give killer god rizz.
He has shit dripping out of his eye sockets and the personality of a slimy toothpick how is he pulling bitches
Which is?
Imagine This.
You know when your heart breaks, it is portrayed with cracks, right?
Imagine when Patton starts to cry and break, crack starts to appear on him as if he was a heart breaking! Real angst will be formed with this!