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The Man at the Party | PJS | 18+

pairing: Enhypen Jay x Reader

wc: 0.7(?)

warning: Smut, unprotected sex, Slight tounge works, Oral sex, etc.

_________________________________________

“So,” his voice is silky, dark, deep in your ear, and you suppress a shiver. “What are you drinkin’?”

You smile against the rim of your glass, because nothing should be unique about a man approaching you with a half-assed pick-up line, but everything is unique about this man.

About fifteen minutes ago, you locked eyes with him across the dance floor, a girl squirming desperately in his lap as he laved his tongue against her long, slender neck in a secluded booth. But his eyes were trained on the way you stared so openly, so shamelessly at his display of affection, your fingers swirling the condensation around your second glass of hard liquor.

When you saw the undying want burning in his eyes, you knew you had to give yourself to him. It wasn’t long until the crowd broke your gaze and when you next saw into the booth, the woman was gone, and the man was taking a long, slow drink of something golden, his eyes locked to yours just as before.

As he stands beside you now, ordering another drink for you, you scan his features again. The proximity allows for you to curl your gaze around all his smooth angles and bits, his jaw, his neck, the collarbones peeking out of his unbuttoned dress shirt.

He turns to you, catching you instantly, a smirk painting his lips while you bite yours.

A drink turns into one more, and then you’re being lured from the bar, out of the back exit.

He smashes his lips against yours, his fingers already up your skirt and teasing your clit like he’s already got you mapped out.

Your back meets the brick wall with a force implying he’s everything but gentle, and the thought excites you, drawing from you a gush of sweet essence his fingers waste no time swirling. You curve against him, your breasts poking against his hardened chest, your fingers cinching onto the lapels of his fine, designer suit.

He pulls away, a string of sin connecting your lips, and he drops to his knees, his nose against your panties in an instant. You cry out into the night, your howls nothing shy of animalistic in this abandoned alley.

Quickly, his tongue works, his fingers having already peeled your panties to the side, and he delves his tongue as deep into your cunt as he can, hooking your knee over his shoulder.

It goes on for minutes, and by the end, you’re aching, yearning, burning for a climactic release, when he suddenly pulls away with a smirk that exudes tease.

It doesn’t take long for him to enter you, your tank top and skirt dismantled and hanging from your body as he’s still adorning every aspect of his fine suit, his cock shimmied out of his pants and hellbent on ruining you.

The devil rams into you, wasting no time, a gruff groan in your ear. And he pounds, pounds, and you feel the ridges of your spine catching against the bricks, bruising you deliciously.

And at some point, you find yourself entranced with the way the streetlightscast a looming darkness over his eyes, blackened with lust and desire. His lips parted as he pants with every plow of his cock drilling into you.

You are the first to come, your head lolling back against the bricks, as he takes the moment to grasp you by the neck, gently squeezing at your airway as your tightening cunt milks him dry.

He explodes into you like a cosmic event, hot sperm painting your insides and you wish it’d stay forever.

Not much happens after that, aside from adjusting clothing, and little chuckles here and there. He smirks down at you as you squeeze your thighs together, preventing the flow of his seed. “Keep it in there, babe.” He demands coolly, finger and thumb moving to pinch your chin. He leans forward and presses a passionate kiss against your lips, and you try to move against him, because you already can’t get enough of him, but he parts too soon.

He backs away, the streetlights casting an ominous, dark glow around him. Then, without another word, he disappears from the alleyway, and it’s as if you’ve dreamt the whole thing.

And you don’t even know his name, wishing to meet him again.

feedback and notes are always appreciated ! let me know what you thought of this. :)

note: IDK ABT THIS. I'm half asleep but i still want to make this bcs i daydreamt in class 💀

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ECHOES OF RIOT

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ falling inlove with a rockstar is never easy, especially when he returns to your hometown on a successful tour three years after you lost contact

WARNINGS ➩ this is like straight up angst… romance but mostly angst lol.. drug use, some violence, idk can’t really remember this is ridiculously long

WC ➩ 19.1k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ well this took me forever lol.. i don’t have much to say i just hope you like it. NOT PROOFREAD normally written at 4am lol the usual.. also side note one of the main characters was chaeyoung and i changed her to heejin for obvious reasons so if you see any of her name left over that’s my mistake and that’s why. here’s the BANDS PLAYLIST if you’d like to listen while you read! plus lots of visualizers and such on my twitter

You weren’t exactly sure how you ended up like you did, so meek and quiet to the point that it was an actual hinderance on your daily activities.

If you were born like that, just one of those kids that was too shy to talk to their classmates and hid behind their moms legs on the first day of school, you’d completely understand but you’d actually been nearly the opposite for your entire life.

Maybe it was an accumulation of always feeling like you were taking up too much space, being on the receiving end of quick glares from teachers when you lacked volume control or seeing the hesitance on your friends parents faces when they excitedly asked if you could come over for a sleepover. Mixed with your own sudden self awareness going into high school.

You quickly realized that it wasn’t the loud girls getting asked out on dates and it was an almost immediately decline into self intrusion once you made this discovery.

It wasn’t like you necessarily wanted to be asked out by anybody, physically recoiling as your friends gossiped about the mass appointed hottest guys at your school and turning up your nose when they made sleazy attempts to flirt and court the other girls around you, but it felt embarrassing to be constantly left out of romantic group hangouts or discussions about experiences you’d never had.

Still, you had managed to keep a solid group of friends despite your newfound habit of self isolating and they only halfway judged you for your tendency to stay in on the weekends.

On the other half however, they weren’t so forgiving, hence why you were currently stood outside a low scale concert venue shivering so hard you were worried you’d chip a tooth. You were pulling your zip up hoodie tighter around your body and sending glares to your friends who were chatting animatedly about the band they were going to see.

Apparently it was composed of some boys around your age, not attending your school but well known enough that they had been invited to some of your friends parties and events and eventually your friend group had been given tickets to one of their shows.

You weren’t the biggest fan of crowds in general but especially concert goers and you’d been promised that this one would be chill and relaxing, something you automatically knew was a lie the second you left the cab and saw the attire of everybody around you. The line was buzzing with energy and adrenaline and you could hear the acts doing soundcheck from inside, music loud and heavy.

It was freezing and as much as you were dreading being pushed into a crowd with jabbing elbows and sweat rolling off their skin onto yours, you were ready to get out of the line as more and more snow kept falling down onto the uncaring crowd.

“Aren’t you excited?” Your head was turning at the sound of a soft voice coming from your right and you smiled softly at one of your calmer friends.

“Sure Sunoo. It’ll be fun.” You were replying quickly, not needing them to feel awkward or guilty about bringing you just because you didn’t necessarily want to come. You figured he could tell you were lying by the pity filled look he gave you but he didn’t call you out for it.

He didn’t say anything else for a second and he didn’t get a chance before the doors were opening and the line was surging forward, already getting your tickets checked while you waited and turning into a blob of people and excitement all trying to squeeze into the single door.

You were groaning softly at the feeling of being jostled around but you couldn’t help but laugh at the fact all of your friends were linking arms and declaring to stay together, slightly envious of the pure delight on their faces whilst your heart was starting to ache from the anxious way it was pounding. You let yourself be dragged through the crowd by them, closing your eyes for a second when you pushed through the tightest areas and just allowing them to guide you through it.

The venue was more so just a bar with a small stage but your friends had told you that these were the best types of places to see a show at, intimate and ear shattering loud.

They’d said the last half with an enthusiastic giggle but you had winced softly at the image of how close you’d be to the large speakers that you now saw adorning the stage. It was dark in the building and your shoes were sticking to the floor beneath you, lights turned a deep glowing green and something more casual playing over the speakers to fill the silence.

You’d followed behind them as they found a spot near the bar, safely tucked away from the crowd and planning to wait out the opening acts here to preserve their energy. They all agreed to push into the crowd once the main band came out and try to get as close as they possibly could, looking over at you for acceptance and all smiling and patting your back when you gave a sheepish nod.

It wasn’t that bad and you were quickly getting used to it, the thick cloud of cigarette smoke settling over you and only making you slightly dizzy now.

You felt a bit embarrassed and out of place but everybody else was too excited or drunk to notice that you weren’t exactly in the most appropriate attire. Sunoo had shot you a questioning glance when you’d gotten into the shared cab but you only just now realized you weren’t fitting in with the rest of the crowd or your friends even slightly.

The difference between you and them was even more evident when the owner of the bar was stepping onto stage and excitedly announcing the first artists, all your friends cheering and holding onto each other while you sat and watched from one of the bar stools.

You were still able to have fun as you watched them, smiling softly at the way they kept instinctively moving forward together as the music started and they screamed the lyrics. You didn’t recognize the songs that the band was covering but you knew enough about music to tell it sounded amazing, watching them closely as they skillfully played off of each other and got the crowd properly amped up.

You’d never really understood the purpose behind opening acts but you were getting it now considering you were feeling more and more excited for the main band as you kept watching.

Then more time had passed and the crowd had entered that stage of being too excited and too intoxicated to really understand boundaries and limits, a few fights breaking out that your friends didn’t bat an eye at but you were starting to feel a really deep pit building in your stomach.

It only worsened when somebody was hurriedly, and messily, approaching the bar and demanding another drink as he anxiously looked behind him at where you presumed his spot in the crowd was. You were watching him out of the corner of your eye as he ordered, feeling him swaying drunkenly closer to you and wanting to make sure he didn’t accidentally tip over and knock you out of your seat.

Your intuition was astoundingly accurate considering it wasn’t long before somebody else was approaching the man and leaning into his side, sending the both of them tilting over in your direction.

You’d just managed to hop off the bar seat before they were slamming into it but with the speed in which you’d jumped off combined with the sticky floor underneath you, you were skidding forward and landing roughly on your side against the ground.

Neither man seemed coherent enough to notice you had fallen from the height and you could hear them drunkenly laughing with each other from above you. Your friends hadn’t noticed the altercation either and you quickly frowned at the nasty sensation under your hands before you were standing up and swiftly adjusting your skirt.

You were rushing back out towards the entrance before anybody could notice your disappearance, pushing back through the door and immediately being hit by the cold air as the snow continued to build up on the ground. You were sighing and bending down to pick some of it off the sidewalk, rubbing it in your hands and trying to clean them off the best you could with the wetness.

“You’re going to miss the main act.”

You were jumping at the sound of a voice coming from behind you, standing up swiftly and turning around to see somebody leaning against the building and taking a long drag from whatever it was that he was smoking.

“Oh.. yeah I know I just.. had something on my hands.” You were mumbling out towards him and indicating awkwardly at the snow in your hands, realizing how weird it must’ve looked from his angle.

He was laughing softly at your explanation and your face flushed in embarrassment again for the sixth time that night, taking in his attire and knowing he’d be able to tell right away that you weren’t exactly supposed to be here. He was tall, would be even taller if he was standing up straight and it was especially accentuated by the tight fit of his ripped black jeans. You couldn’t see his face super clearly from where he was stood underneath the shaky lights but his hair was messy and in his eyes and you thought you saw a piercing or two shining on his face.

“Who dragged you here?” He was suddenly asking and you froze up again as you looked at him, eyes darting down to his feet for a second nervously.

“My friends got tickets and I couldn’t get out of it.” You were telling him softly and shrugging a bit. A car was driving past on the empty road and you waited for the sounds of the snow crunching under its tires to quiet before you finished. “From the band actually.”

You look back at him just in time to see his eyebrows lift in surprise and then settle into recognition, your own shifting forward in furrowed confusion. The boy was taking a step off the wall then and flicking his cigarette somewhere off near the road, your eyes following the still burning ember as it flew through the air before circling back to him.

“I’ll see you inside then.” His tone was one of a statement and not a question but you were still slightly confused despite the fact you habitually nodded at him.

You let out a big sigh once he was leaving finally, weirdly going through the alley towards what you could only assume was a side entrance and not the door right next to him. It quickly slipped your mind and you decided to wait for the previous act to finish up before you also headed back in.

You crouched back down closer to the snow and continued to try and clean off your hands and parts of your sleeves that had gotten stained from whatever substances were on the floor. The cold was sending waves of shivers through you but you simply ignored the uncomfortable feeling, especially since you figured you’d warm up quickly once you headed back inside.

Eventually you could hear the second opening act thanking the crowd for their intense energy before the familiar voice of the bar owner was back, this time more excited as he announced that the main band was finally coming out on to the stage.

You sighed softly again to yourself before stomping the slush off your boots and heading back through the door, once again being hit by the tight atmosphere that was a lot more sweaty than when you had first walked in and was now practically buzzing with adrenaline.

It was harder than you had planned for to get back to your seat and you almost gave up and just resided to the back of the building but once the band members were finally on stage the crowd surged forward, a gap in the mass of people slightly opened up and you were hurrying through it back towards where your friends had been. They were gone now but you had expected that, knowing they must likely went closer to the stage.

You were just barely settling back into an empty stool when the band was coming out on stage and you frowned when you realized you could barely see them, sitting up slightly and freezing up when you got a better view.

One of the boys was standing center stage and speaking into the mic, presumably introducing them to the crowd who was cheering the loudest they had all night, but your gaze was drifting a few feet to his right to where one of the guitarist was standing.

You immediately recognized him as the boy from outside, a wave of embarrassment washing over you as you remembered how you had been less than enthusiastic about coming and had told him the band invited you and your friends. His surprised expression was making sense to you now and you would’ve turned to face palm if you weren’t stuck staring at him.

He was scanning the crowd for a few seconds and your eyes widened a touch when he was looking in your direction, stopping his wandering gaze as a soft smirk started to build up on his lips.

You were glancing around you to see if there was anything else he could be looking at and then feeling your face heat up alarmingly fast when you realized there wasn’t and he definitely recognized you from your awkward encounter outside.

Then they were starting to play and you were frozen for other reasons, your eyes locked on him and his frame as he started to open the song slow and soft. It wasn’t the type of music you had expected from them just based off of appearance and you were completely transfixed by the way they skillfully moved with their respective instruments, the boys behind the mics voice coming through now.

The crowd was swaying along with the gentle music, calming down into a low buzz like they were being completely controlled by the bands sound and energy.

You sat frozen like that for the entirety of the first song, mouth slightly parted in surprise and watching the boy you’d seen outside as he continued to play. You didn’t know much about guitars but you could tell he was good, his louder than the others and ringing out clear even underneath the distorted vocals.

He wasn’t looking at you anymore because he wasn’t looking at anything at all, leaning back and keeping his eyes shut as he played them through the final half of the first song. He was rocking along with his strums and he seemed just as into it and transfixed as the rest of the building was.

The first song slowed to a stop and you heard the vocalist laugh softly into the mic before he was glancing behind him towards where the drummer was sitting. You watched them curiously as they nodded at eachother in silent communication, amazed at how casual and relaxed they seemed to be in front of all of these people.

“Obviously we know what you’re all here for.” The lead vocalist was speaking into the mic with a small smile and the two guitarist start to build up the intro of the next song. “Watch your elbows and try not to knock anyone out.”

He was laughing as he finished his lighthearted warning but you watched as the crowd surged with excitement and started to move around, coming to life in sync like they were all the same creature and you felt a bit sick at how tight and moving it was quickly becoming. He was starting to sing again in a lower tone and even though the song was still bordering on calm, you could feel it building up along with the energy in the room.

It was closer to what you had expected their music to sound like and although it wasn’t necessarily something you’d keep on during your downtime, you couldn’t help but feel a bit giddy at the way the entire crowd reacted to the explosive chorus.

The drummers voice was rasping underneath the main vocalist now and you quickly understand their previous communication, a smile building on your face as you watched the guitarist from outside staring at them with an unfiltered excitement.

They played more songs and you continued to sit and watch them unmoving, your eyes mostly transfixed on the boy with the guitar until the end of their set. You’d never seen somebody play the way he did and you almost felt like you had no choice but to watch him considering how captivating he looked on stage. Eventually they were shouting their goodbyes towards the crowd and accepting thrown gifts and hands reaching out for contact, all except for the guitarist considering he was just watching and smiling at the crowd for a distance.

You were still watching them as they left the stage and disappeared back into the restricted part of the building, not even noticing when your friends were excitedly bounding back over to you.

“That was fucking awesome.” Heejin was wrapping her arm around your shoulder and shaking you enthusiastically, sweat lining her dyed hair now and making her tattoos glisten under the now red lighting.

“Jungwon somehow sounds 100 times better in person.” You turned your head to see Sunoo coming to sit next to you with an impressed look on his face, shaking his head in disbelief and still watching the empty stage like you were a few moments ago. “Plus I didn’t know Jake could sing like that.”

“He sang at that school event remember? Before Jay got him into drumming.” Riki was quickly explaining and taking a swig of a water bottle he was carrying, still slightly out of breath from the tight and hot crowd.

You watched them talk animatedly about the show with a soft smile and fondness, you were glad they had fun even if you were originally hesitant to come out with them. It had been better than you’d expected and you still felt a little rush of excitement under your skin when you thought about how loud and beautiful the music had been. You’d completely forgotten about falling on the floor or any mishap.

“Are you ready to go then? We don’t want to keep them waiting, they’re probably super tired.” Joonie was turning to smile at you and await your response but her grin faltered when she saw the heavy look of confusion gracing your features. “You didn’t ask her?”

She was moving her head to give an accusatory stare towards the others and Sunoo winced softly at the harshness in her glare. Riki was sighing and scratching the back of his neck before answering. “We figured we’d ask her after she saw them… maybe she’d be more inclined to say yes.”

“Say yes to what?” You were quickly butting in, slightly frustrated that they were talking around you like you weren’t sat right there watching the entire thing.

“The band wanted us to come over to their place after the show.” Heejin was answering hesitantly, watching you with an expectant look like she was already prepared for you to shut them down.

You can’t deny that the thought immediately crossed your mind, beyond used to rejecting hangouts instinctively especially ones that were so small and intimate with people you didn’t know.

Then you were thinking about the way they had performed and how you had felt seeing them have so much fun on the stage, like they never cared about taking up too much space and they certainly weren’t concerned with ever being too loud. You were pausing for a few seconds to think about it even though you already felt like your mind had been made up, meeting your friends waiting stares and giving them a soft nod of approval.

——

You had quickly come to regret your accepting nod on your way to meet up with the boys, packed into a cab with your friends who still vaguely smelled like the inside of the venue and conjoined sweat.

They still seemed excited so you were trying your best to not be a visible mood killer but you were getting more and more anxious the closer you got to where you’d be meeting, not even exactly sure what type of environment you were going into.

It got even worse when the cab was pulling to a stop in front of a house tucked neatly in a lower class suburban area, the dread of having to make small talk in such an intimate setting like one the boys house was making your stomach turn with nausea. You sucked it up and followed behind your friends with held breath, listening as the door opened and they excitedly greeted whoever it was that was behind it.

You eventually filed through and when it was your turn to pass through the doorway, you realized it was Jake who had opened it.

You recognized him from school events like Riki had mentioned before, not attending yours but a few times a year the neighboring schools held community shows and events to bring the area closer together and scout for grants and sponsorships. You distinctly remember Jake sitting on the stage a few years back, looking beyond nervous as he softly strung his acoustic guitar and sang a song that had slipped your memory by now.

It was a striking opposition to what you’d seen him do tonight, both the fact he had been singing so hard his voice was scratching underneath Jungwon’s softer tone and the way he was slamming down on the drums so hard you had been worried he’d break something.

He had a certain buzzing energy to him that helped this make sense, watching him now as he excitedly bounced around your friends like a loose dog as he guided them towards another doorway. You figured he was more full of bottled up excitement over any actual aggressiveness and you continued to silently follow behind them.

You were a bit surprised to be led down to a small finished basement, carefully walking down the carpeted steps and feeling weirdly like you’d been transported back to your own home with how familiar the area looked.

There was a small red light connected to the door with tape and you imagined it was to signal that some sort of recording was going on, a small smile playing up on your face at the irony of the devoted after band having such a simple setup. The smile was immediately slipping off when you were hearing your friends start up rounds of greeting again and you paled with nerves.

“That’s Y/N, she doesn’t talk much.” Riki was quickly saying and you were half grateful he had saved you from awkwardly stuttering out your name and half furious as all sets of eyes turned to look in your direction.

You recognized the lead singer first, looking a lot less intimidating now that he was sitting on the sofa in more comfortable clothes and letting his purple mullet air dry from what you could only assume was a post show shower. You knew his name was Jungwon just from hearing your friends rambles and you filled in the blanks for the rest of the names.

Jay was almost more intimidating off stage than he was on it, losing that playful and excited energy that being in front of a crowd brought and falling into an almost scary silence. If it wasn’t for the gentle way he was picking at an acoustic guitar, a stark difference to the black and shining electric one you’d seen him with on stage.

Your eyes were drifting over to the final person in the room who was busy chatting with Heejin and staring excitedly at her newest tattoos, his hands hovering over her skin but not touching directly like an excited child. Sunoo had told you on the way here that Sunghoon played bass and whilst you weren’t exactly sure what that meant, he seemed the most approachable out of the group.

Minus the member you’d already accidentally approached but he was missing from the current area and you felt a wave of relief rushing through you considering how embarrassed you’d felt seeing him on stage.

You almost fell into autopilot and you listened to the two groups mix and talk casually like they were lifelong friends, an overwhelming feeling of envy sitting in your stomach considering the fact they were so easily able to hold conversation with each other whilst you struggled to even introduce yourself.

Jay had gotten up to put on a record at some point and that made you feel slightly more at ease considering there was no more room for awkward silence, something a lot calmer than what they’d played earlier ringing through the room as they all lounged in different places and started to smoke amongst each other.

Your friends didn’t bother offering any to you considering you had a tendency to say no, not necessarily against smoking or being high but the intimacy of sharing a blunt mixed with the performance anxiety as it was passed around the circle almost on instinct. The other boys must’ve gotten the hint without it needing to be said and they also didn’t try to get you to smoke, leaving you relieved that they weren’t the types to poke fun at you or try to pressure you into it.

It was a lot easier for you to just watch them and get a small contact high, sinking down into your spot on the couch more and relaxing as they started to lose focus and definitely lose the ability to care if you were being awkward.

You were pressed against the side of the sofa even though nobody was sat directly near you, still trying to ensure you were taking up as little space on the furniture as possible in case somebody else wanted to sit or you were simply just in the way. You were grateful you’d developed this habit considering the door to the basement was opening again and you froze up as the light shone in from the top of the stairs.

“Finally, the chosen one has arrived.” Jake was yelling excitedly from somewhere you couldn’t see, laying flat on the carpet behind the round ottoman and you could only barely catch a glimpse of his arms being thrown up in mock praise.

You were staring at the stairs as the boot covered feet started to descend down and you knew who it was before he even reached the point where you could see his upper half, freezing even more at the way his eyes scanned over the unfamiliar faces in the basement before pausing on you.

You awkwardly pulled your sleeves over your hands and glanced back over at Sunoo was sitting in the chair closest to you and the couch, talking to Sunghoon about something you couldn’t quite make it out considering anxiety was fully building up now and you were slightly disoriented from the overstimulation in the room.

Much to your dismay and attempts to stop yourself, your eyes were drifting back over to the boy and you almost groaned when you realized he was still watching you.

Heeseung had, according to Joonie on the way here, been the one to originally start up the band and convince the others to take it as seriously as he did. He was the lead guitarist first and foremost but he dabbled in almost everything, including producing all of their original songs and covers and apparently forfeiting his basement as their studio considering the younger photos of him scattered around the walls.

His baby pink hair was in his face even more now than it had been when you’d saw him smoking outside, littered with random blonde patches that told you he had done it himself, and now you were positive he had multiple piercings throughout his face.

It was only getting worse for you when he was making his way over to the couch and taking the empty middle seat, directly next to you.

You were sat with your feet up on the fabric and hugging your knees close to your chest but you imagined if you’d been sat normally then your thighs would be press against his that had lost the tight ripped jeans and were now sporting some more casual black sweatpants.

“You want this Hee?” Sunghoon was saying from where he was sat on the floor besides Sunoo on the chair.

You glanced over to the boy just in time to see him shake his head in denial and a wave of surprise and relief washed over you, grateful you wouldn’t be the only one not smoking anymore. “You don’t smoke?” Riki was asking and Heeseung seemed to instinctively shake his head no.

Jay snorted out a half laugh half scoff and you watched the pink haired boy shoot him a sharp glare before his eyes were drifting over to you, almost like he was checking your reaction. Your eyebrows were furrowed forward in confusion, wondering why he was lying about smoking, he must’ve forgotten the fact you’d seen him outside with a cigarette only a few hours before.

Everybody fell back into their own individual conversations again and you started to relax finally, listening to the music playing softly in the smoke filled room.

“So did you end up liking it then?” Heeseung’s voice was coming from beside you and you looked over towards him with widened eyes, not expecting him to directly address you.

“W-what?” You were stuttering out and then immediately flushing in embarrassment when a concerned look passed over his intimidating face. He seemed nice enough but your closed mind couldn’t look past the piercings and the eyeliner still staining around his large eyes.

“The show.” He was quickly explaining, looking slightly embarrassed himself that you hadn’t understood what he was talking about. “You didn’t seem too excited when you were outside.”

You froze up in your spot considering he was directly referencing the conversation you’d had outside, in which you had told him begrudgingly and in complaint that you hadn’t been able to get out of going to the show that he was performing at. You didn’t respond for a few seconds and you were grateful that everybody was too stoned to keep up with your awkward conversation.

“It was… you guys were very..” You trailed off when you saw the expectant look on his face and you cleared your throat a bit, eyes darting down to the double piercings going through the thin skin of his lips and then back up to his eyes. “It was cool.”

“Just cool?” His lip was curling softly up into a half smirk at your extremely vague answer, shifting in his place on the couch so he was facing you better and you tried not to be extremely weird about the fact his arm was resting on the back of the sofa now and therefore his hand was dangling on the other side of your shoulders.

“Super cool?” You offered in a squeaky voice, wincing as your shoulders curled in on themselves.

He laughed softly at your answer and you were relieved that he found it somewhat funny and wasn’t totally offended that you didn’t have a string of compliments prepared for him. You did like the show much more than you thought you would and if you were able to get ahold of yourself, you would’ve told him how impressed you were as you watched him play.

But you weren’t that lucky and you knew you’d be stuck giving him half true statements that didn’t actually show how you truly felt about the set, turning your head back to face forward so you didn’t have to look at his face anymore.

You weren’t exactly sure why he had come to talk to you out of everybody in the room, knowing he was obviously a lot closer to his band mates and had even hung out with your male friends a few times from your knowledge in group settings. Joonie had told you that she thought the two of you were a bit similar considering he was also rarely at social events but you highly doubted the comparison considering the way he looked performing in front of an adoring and expectant crowd.

Still, you thought about the way he hung back at the end of the final song instead of interacting with the fans like the other members had and the fact you hadn’t been surprised when he wasn’t present in the basement at first.

“Are you two actually talking to each other or just sitting in weirdo silence?” Your head was picking back up to look over at Heejin who was sitting on the other side of the couch, next to Heeseung but leaning far enough away towards Jake and Jungwon that they didn’t touch at all.

You didn’t need to look at her to know who she was referring to but your stomach dropped a little when you met her gaze and confirmed she was referring to you, the others in the room also looking over considering her statement.

Heejin was in no way mean to you and she was actually your longest friend out of the group, knowing her since middle school which meant she was around to watch your social decline. She made jokes sometimes or pushed you too far out of your comfort zone but you always took it as her way of trying to help you loosen up like she knew you could, always stopping whenever you got visibly too overwhelmed or uncomfortable.

You weren’t sure if it was the presence of people she admired or the buzz of a high settling over her that caused her to make the comment but it clearly crossed a line the two of you had silently established throughout the years, your face dropping at the unwanted attention.

“Heeseung is the master of weirdo silence.” Jake was adding on from the floor again and you could hear him giggling nonsensically, sitting up so you could see his head past the ottoman and frown at him.

“Yeah well I’d rather talk to..” Heeseung was starting harshly before trailing off and glancing over at you with a raised eyebrow. You paused for a few seconds and stared at him in confusion but realizing he was waiting for you to tell him your name, quickly whispering it to him and trying to ignore the small smile he gave you before turning back to look at the others. “I’d rather talk to Y/N than you deadbeats.”

The boys in the room were breaking out into small fits of laughters and instigating choruses of “Oo’s”. Fanning their hands out like they’d been burned and only settling down when Heeseung was rolling his eyes and sinking further into the couch.

Luckily they all seemed to let it go after that even though you were still left with a deeper pit in your stomach because of Heejin’s random dig at both you and Heeseung, roping him in to your anti social behavior and giving his own friends the opportunity to pile on top of it.

You were glancing over at him again from the corner of your eye, hesitantly shifting to try and catch his attention again. His gaze was snapping back to your face when you moved slightly and his eyebrows raised in question again, a lot softer than they had been when he was asking for your name and snapping back at your friends. You watched the way the metal balls surrounding his eyebrow stretched with the movement before licking your dry lips and speaking.

“Thanks.” The word slipped from your lips in a small breath and once again you felt disappointed that it was all you had managed to say, wishing you were able to express your gratitude to him more.

He didn’t seem to mind and his shoulders were lifting in a small shoulder, watching you curiously. “It’s no big deal. I don’t talk much either.”

“Even though you do all… that?” You were asking before you even processed the question falling from your lips and he looked equally surprised as you that you were continuing the conversation without needing prompting.

“Like perform?” His voice was lower now as you started to talk more and you had a feeling he didn’t want the others to listen in and find a way to intervene again. You gave him a soft nod, grateful he had understood your vague wording. “It’s different, I don’t really think of it like that. Sometimes I don’t even feel like I’m there in front of all those people.”

If you’d heard him say that last week or even this morning, you would’ve not fully understood what exactly he was trying to explain to you. Even now you were still a bit confused on what exactly the feeling was like but you immediately understood what he was referring to, remembering the way he was closing his eyes and leaning with the music like he was in his own world.

You must’ve fallen silent for too long as you were thinking about it and what that could possibly be like, how it would feel to live a life with that sort of overwhelming passion, because he was clearing his throat and shifting again.

“It’s like… well what do you do?” He was starting to try and find an analogy, assuming you didn’t understand and you froze up at the direct question.

“What do I do?” You were repeating back to him for clarification and he nodded earnestly, waiting to hear your answer. “I don’t think I really do anything.”

He seemed taken back by that and you were slightly embarrassed that you’d failed to answer his question properly. You’d thought about it before, being at the age where you should have something you were passionate about or a hobby that motivated you in some way.

You never really did much of anything on your own and you’d yet to find anything that gave you that sort of spark he’d be referring to, the type of spark that would cause you to do what you loved even if it meant pushing yourself past your limits or standing on a stage like you were born for it.

“What are you doing this weekend?” He was suddenly rushing out and your eyes widened in surprise again at the fact his voice had come out much louder now, like he’d forced himself to say it. You didn’t say anything for a few seconds and then you were shaking your head to signal that you weren’t doing anything set in stone. “Come to our next show.”

“To your show?” You were repeating in bewilderment and he was nodding his head quickly as he scanned over your face hesitantly, wondering if you were going to reject him. Eventually you were biting the inside of your cheek after contemplating for a while and glancing at him. “O-okay.. yeah sure.”

——

“Y/N, the phone for you.” Your mothers screaming voice was floating up the stairs and you groaned softly into your pillow, laying on your stomach and overthinking the events of the previous weekend like you had been for days.

It was pretty uneventful after your conversation with Heeseung, both falling into a silence or offering small laughs and quick glances as you listened to your friends talk and get to know each other better. He must’ve been telling the truth about not talking much because nobody looked over at him once expectantly although you noticed his band mates keeping an eye on the two of you occasionally.

Eventually you and your friends had left the basement and the pink haired boy had spared you a quick wave through the window as the taxi pulled off.

You’d listened to your friends excitedly talk the entire way back to your neighbors and pry you for details about what you’d been talking about with him, not noticing the bitter expression on your face when you noticed how surprised they seemed that he’d chosen to speak to you.

Now it was Thursday and you were thinking about it all again, replaying it over and over and finding something new to be embarrassed about each time you did. Heeseung was surprisingly soft spoken and slightly awkward considering his appearance but you knew it held no parallel to how terrible you were at socializing.

“Y/N.” Your mom was screaming again and this time you rolled over as you groaned, letting it fill the room before you were getting off your bed and heading down the stairs.

Your mom was standing there with the phone in her hand, watching you with an excited expression and your face was pulling forward in confusion as your steps hesitantly slowed to a stop. “It’s a boy.” She was whispering and pointing at the phone with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

You were snatching the phone away from her and walking around the corner into the hallways, stretching the chord as far as it could possibly go and waving a dismissive hand at your mom when she was poking her around the corner in curiosity.

“Hello?” You were breathing into the phone and it was a heavy silence for a few seconds before you could hear somebody clearing their throat on the other side.

“Hey Y/N, it’s Heeseung.” He was announcing and you froze up at the sound of his soft voice coming through your speaker, clutching the phone tighter in your hand and shifting it against your ear. “Um.. like the guitar guy.”

You were laughing softly at the fact he felt the need to specify, most likely growing nervous from your extended silence. “I know who you are Heeseung.”

“Cool… yeah cool.” He was breathing back and letting out his own nervous laugh, a small smile building on your face at how awkward he seemed now. You liked how different he was in each setting, confident and sensual on stage and casual and calm when surrounded by his friends in a familiar area. Now you were seeing what he was like on his own, mirroring a personality similar to yours.

“D-did you need something?” You tried to keep your tone light so he didn’t think you were bothered by the fact he had called despite your confusion over how he’d gotten your number or what exactly he wanted.

Your heart was racing slightly as you listened to him inhale over the phone, feeling a bit ridiculous over your own reactions but you couldn’t help but think about his soft pink hair and the piercings your mom would definitely disapprove of. She glared at Heejin’s bare skin every time she came over during the summer so you couldn’t imagine her reaction to seeing Heeseung’s group of friends.

“I was just calling to make sure you were still going to the show and Sunghoon said I should tell you to bring your friends.” He was explaining in a low tone and you could hear shushing in the background, your smile widening at the realization he was around some of his friends. “I’m pretty sure he’s just trying to convince Heejin to give him a tattoo but it would be safer anyways with more people.”

“Alright, yeah we’ll be there.” You were telling him back swiftly and you surprised yourself by how naturally it came out of your mouth, no stutter or hesitation.

“Cool.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice as he said the word again, almost repeating it like he did the first time but seemingly catching himself before he did. “I’ll see you there then?”

“Yeah… yeah you will.”

——

“So he like directly invited you.” Riki was asking for the sixth time that night and you sighed softly when he was bumping his elbow into your arm with a smile on his face, clearly excited about the recent development in your life.

“Is it that surprising?” Your tone was stiff along with your posture, somehow once again finding yourself in a cold line outside of a random concert venue downtown.

“Not at all Y/N.” Sunoo was quickly interjecting once he realized you were taking offense to their over excitement, offering him a small tired smile due to his habit of trying to make you feel better. “We are just happy for you.”

You were about to remind him that there was no reason to be happy or excited and that you and Heeseung had just gotten along, nothing else, but you were interrupted by the staff who was checking tickets approaching your group. You watched as he took a look at Riki’s and then his school ID, promptly marking his hand with a solid black X before he was turning towards you expectantly.

He was looking at your ID with a bored expression but before he was able to hand it back to you and give you a similar marking, he paused and did a double take as he looked at the words. “Y/N? You’re on the list.”

“The list?” Your voice was soft in confusion and buried under the sound of your friends excited squeals and laughters, feeling Joonie’s hands come up to squeeze your shoulders and shake you softly.

You weren’t understanding what was happening until you were being moved forward, hearing Heejin clarify that you all were allowed early entry before she was smiling brightly and practically caring you with the rest of them as you entered the venue ahead of everybody else. You felt a flush come up to your cheeks when you realized that Heeseung had clearly mentioned you to the staff of the building and that’s why you were currently skipping the line and heading towards the back of the venue.

It was a different place than last time, bigger and seemingly more concert specific in comparison to the bar you were at last time.

The staff member was leading you down a hallway until you were stopped in front of a door with chipping paint, a piece of paper stuck to it with tape and the bands name in big sharpie letters. You smiled softly at their names all scribbled around the bold font, knowing they must’ve stuck it outside themselves as a mock dressing room.

You felt a wave of anxiety rush up with the employee was knocking on the door twice before turning to head back outside and control the growing crowd but you didn’t have any time to panic before it was being thrown open.

“You came.” Heeseung’s eyes were wide as he looked down at you in surprise and you were parting your lips to answer him before your friends were impatiently pushing into the room, practically shoving you forward into him.

He helped steady you when you made a small noise of surprise and you were glancing up at him in embarrassment, face undoubtedly red considering he was holding onto your arms even once your feet were flat on the ground. “You look…”

You felt overwhelming self conscious when his gaze was dropping down, scanning over your outfit and body before meeting your eyes again. You’d mistakenly let Heejin and Joonie dress you after they practically spent two hours begging, remembering how awkward you felt being improperly dressed last time.

It felt even worse to be in clothes you weren’t at all used to or comfortable with and you couldn’t tell what Heeseung was thinking just based off his expression.

“It looks really good.” He was breathing out finally and you felt a wave of relief at his statement, and then self judgment for caring what he thought in the first place. “Are you sure you’ll be comfortable though? I have a sweater you can wear.”

You froze up slightly as he continued to speak to you in a calm voice, somehow sensing your anxiety over the outfit despite only speaking to you a few times. You were half flattered that he cared enough to lend you some clothes and half humiliated that he could tell you didn’t normally wear things like this.

He must’ve seen outfits like this on hundreds of girls every time he had a show, knowing half the crowd would be dressed similarly to you but wearing it with a confidence and aura that you severely lacked. You didn’t have an overwhelming presence like Heejin or an alluring personality like Joonie and you’d always felt bland in comparison.

You were awkwardly glancing around the makeshift dressing room and pleased to see your friends and the band engaging in their own excited conversations and not paying you any mind.

Then your gaze was landing on one of the mirrors across the room and you were freezing up when you caught sight of you and Heeseung, still standing closer than you’d thought you were with his hands touching your arms. You almost didn’t recognize yourself for a second and despite how awful the clothes felt against your skin, you couldn’t deny that you looked good standing next to him and his similar aesthetic.

“I’ll be alright.” You were turning back to him to answer his question definitively and you tried to hold eye contact with him for a second, easier considering his hair was falling into his face again.

He was wearing eyeliner like he had been the first time you’d seen him outside the venue but it was a lot bolder and messier this time, making his eyes even bigger than they already were but completely changing his energy and appearance in comparison to the version of him you’d seen in his basement.

“Are you nervous?” You weren’t sure why that was the next thing you said to him but his eyes lit up when you whispered the question, staring up at him with wide eyes and saying it so softly he almost didn’t catch it underneath the loud crowd in the distance and your friends behind him.

“I’m excited.” He was responding back and you knew he meant it, no sign of apprehension or hesitation on his face.

You’d never seen somebody look as intense as Heeseung did when he talked about performing, his entire demeanor changing from the awkward boy who you’d been speaking to, almost seeming unsure of himself after every sentence. He didn’t even seem to think at all when he spoke about music or being on stage and you watched him curiously as he rambled on about how it felt to be up there.

You figured he probably knew you wouldn’t ever be able to understand what he was talking about unless you did it yourself but you still felt giddy that he wanted to explain it to you.

He talked about it until another team member was poking his head in to let the boys know that soundcheck was about to start and then the doors would open, also being you and your friends queue to go and get spots in the front row.

“I’ll see you out there then?” He was smiling down at you and giving a gentle squeeze to your arm that he was still holding, your own breaking out on your face despite trying to withhold and you gave him a small nod of approval before he was disappearing out the door after the others.

Your friends were obviously excited for having caught the end of your interaction and although you rolled your eyes as they begun to tease you, you couldn’t rid yourself of the bright grin you were catching between your lips and you started to head back out into the hallway and towards where the crowd would be standing.

You felt okay for now but you were starting to get more and more anxious at the realization that soon the mass of people would surge inside towards you and you’d be stuck in your place against the barricade, white knuckling it as you contemplated heading to the back of the venue and watching from there instead so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself by having a panic attack right in front of the band.

“You know..” Heejin was leaning in against your side to whisper into your ear and you felt her hand squeezing your side affectionately. “Jake said that Heeseung’s never invited anybody to a show before.”

She was pulling away just in time to see your eyes widen in surprise, followed by your face flushing a bright red at the knowing look she was giving you. “Not even his family?”

You knew that the bands music wouldn’t necessarily be everybody’s personal taste, especially those of an older generation, but you couldn’t help but feel slightly confused that he wouldn’t ever ask anybody to come watch him perform. He was clearly proud of what he had created and more passionate than anyone you’d met before.

“It’s just him and his dad I guess.” She was shrugging softly and glancing up at the stage as she spoke. “Apparently he’s a huge hard ass about him doing music.”

Your face was falling into a small frown at what she was saying but you didn’t have a chance to respond before the lights were shutting off and immediately being replaced by the same red ones the other venue had put on for their set, hearing the sounds of the doors opening and feet swiftly approaching the stage.

Anxiety was immediately building up as you were getting more and more constricted in the crowd but you felt slightly better knowing your friends were around you, feeling Riki not so subtly shift his position so he was stood behind you and you weren’t going to be subject to any stranger pressing into your body.

You were going to turn and give him a grateful smile but you were cut off by the sounds of the crowd screaming louder than you’d ever heard, confused on what was causing it before you realized the boys were already coming out onto the stage.

They were only silhouettes at first without the spotlights turned on but you could tell it was Sunghoon who had ended up directly in front of you, glancing across the stage to see Heeseung on the other side beside Jungwon again like he had been the other weekend.

Then the lights were coming on, soft enough to keep the red glow but illuminating each member and their instruments. You smiled widely and couldn’t help the scream that leapt from your throat, joining in with your friends and the rest of the crowd as excitement started to fill you. You’d never been in a setting like this before and you were quickly understanding why it was so addicting.

You were already watching Heeseung from the moment he stepped on stage so you definitely didn’t miss the way his eyes were scanning the front section of the crowd, only settling once they passed by you before quickly backtracking as a smile curled up on his lips.

Jungwon was starting to speak into the mic and introduce them like you’d heard him do last week but you were preoccupied, watching the pink haired boy and giving him a small nod of acknowledgment with a soft smile.

Then the show was starting and you quickly realized that what you had seen last time was nothing in comparison to actually being in the crowd, an energy taking over you that you didn’t even know you possessed. You were dancing along with Heejin and gripping Sunoo’s arm in excitement as he screamed and sang along, all the while keeping your eyes on Heeseung.

He was almost like a completely different person on stage, more than just his energy considering the fact even his gaze was new to you. He was a lot more intimidating when he was staring down at you with hooded eyes, the eyeliner more smudge now and thankfully distracting you from the skillful way his fingers moved along the guitar strings.

It was hard not to think about him to the level you’d been trying to deny when he was looking at you for almost the entirety of the show, seemingly checking on you when the crowd got particularly wild and at other times almost looking smug because of how transfixed you seemed. His lip would curl into a cocky smirk that you didn’t even think he could manage and you’d feel your heart thump alive in a way it never had before.

You spent the next few months following this exact routine with him.

Every week, in the middle of it or sometimes as early as the day after a show, he’d call your house and your mom would yell your name up the stairs. He’d softly invite you to the next show and you’d excitedly tell him that you’d be there, despite knowing he already knew the answer and you knowing he just liked to hear you say it.

Sometimes you’d take your friends with you but eventually you got comfortable enough to go by yourself, you’d be let in early with a small smile to the bouncers and you’d always ask him the same question before he got on stage.

“Are you nervous?” You’d say for the dozenth time even though you knew by now that he wasn’t but every single time his eyes would light up with that fire and passion that you’d been so sucked in by and he’d always repeat the same words back in the same tone.

“I’m excited.”

Heeseung liked it best when you came to his shows so you did it every weekend you were free, even when you’d get too overwhelmed and have to sit in the dressing room or behind the stage if it was available, he just liked knowing you were there to see him and he expressed it to you every single time.

You got closer over that time outside of watching him play too, taking longer to get over that awkwardness you both carried outside of the venues when the adrenaline died down but eventually you’d stopped hanging out solely within your respective groups and started to spend some time alone together.

He’d pick you up in his shitty run down car and your mom would glare at him from the living room window, watching his hair go from pink to blue then to a red that had taken you back a few steps with its brightness when you’d first seen it.

“That’s.. a strong choice.” You’d said after you buckled your seatbelt and you were reaching forward to run your hand through it before you even had a second to think about it.

“My dad hates the color red.” Was all he had responded with and you watched the side of his face as he smiled softly and put the car into drive.

Heeseung wasn’t the most stable person to be around at times but you eventually realized that you’d never felt as comfortable taking up space as you did when you were with him, an addicting feeling that you almost had no choice but to lean forward into and you were thankful that he was always around to catch you.

You’d sit in the basement with the boys as they practiced new songs and Jake had even attempted to teach you to play some songs on the guitar, going to him for help because it felt less intimidating than asking one of the actual guitar players.

It was somehow easy to mesh into their routines and hobbies despite how different you were than them and your most fun high school memories all featured your old friends and new ones hanging out together, all packed into booths at late night diners after a particularly good show or getting makeshift tattoos from Heejin in the familiar basement that you’d spent most of the year in by the time graduation rolled around.

Heeseung was a year older than you and already graduated before you’d met him but he’d made sure to attend and watch you and your friends walk, minus Riki who still had a year left.

You’d all rushed out of the ceremony hall and squished in his car so you could drive across town and watch the rest of his friends at their own school, cheering for them all in your different colored graduation gowns and ignoring the embarrassed look on Jungwon’s face when he gave his class president speech at the beginning.

There were a lot of highs but it all came with lows too and those took you longer to adjust to.

You weren’t exactly sure how to handle it when Heeseung would show up at your house late at night, sometimes bleeding from various places on his face or panting like he’d run all the way there. You’d quickly pull him inside and ignore your moms questioning shout asking who was at the door.

Eventually you had sat her down after dinner and told her that sometimes Heeseung had issues with his dad and he didn’t have anywhere else to go, which was a slight lie on your part but you knew it felt true to him considering he never considered any other options before heading in your direction even if it was across town and a lot less welcoming than one of his friends houses.

She never was a big fan of him, of any of your friends but especially him, despite the gentle way he always said hello to her upon entry and his countless attempts to get on her good side. You’d tried to explain to him that it wasn’t anything personal or anything he was doing wrong and it was just how your mother was but he seemed particularly upset about it despite normally not caring what people thought of him.

“It’s your mom, it’s different.” He was stressing his words to emphasize that it was because she was related to you that it mattered to him and you were furrowing your eyebrows and turning to look at him.

You were sat on your bed together, two months before it happened, and sharing a pair of headphones that was playing a scratchy demo of a song he’d been working on. You were popping the tape out of the device so it would stop abruptly as you sat up a little bit to be able to see his face better.

“Why do you say stuff like that?” You were asking him and he sighed softly like he always did when you begun to pry for answers regarding his behavior towards you.

Despite the way you felt around him and the fact you’d practically become inseparable in the summer following graduation, you’d never directly talked about what your relationship was or even crossed a line that would definitely give you an unspoken answer. Outside of some longing glances and hands resting a little too low on your back, you’d remained pretty platonic other than your own inner thoughts and emotions.

“Don’t know.” He was mumbling softly as he looked at you and you squinted your eyes at him in disbelief but eventually you sighed and shifted back so you were resting against your headboard again, shoulder pressed into his tightly.

When it finally happened, you pretty much assumed that your life was going to abruptly end.

The boys had been growing in popularity now that they were out of school and able to do music full time, still underaged but building enough connections with the local music scene and venues to be able to play more frequently and to older and grittier crowds.

Mixed with the rise of the internet and MTV music videos filled with long haired rockstars and half naked women, it didn’t take long for their talents to get noticed by a few different people who swore they were from the next big company and could guarantee to make Echoes of Riot each millionaires respectfully, offers that were all swiftly turned down by Heeseung (with the advice of Sunoo who had begun to fill a management like role within the group).

You’d never paid much mind to what stardom would mean for the boys despite believing to the deepest part of your heart that they deserved it and were more talented than most the people you heard over the radio. For some reason, some childish idiotic reason, you figured they’d spend the rest of your lives being teenagers playing in bars around your small hometown.

Then one night after a particularly long show, all the boys panting and sweaty as they headed back to their dressing rooms, a man had approached them similarly to the way others did almost nightly.

You knew right away that something was different this time and your friends did too, watching silently as the group stopped in their steps towards the back rooms and actually begun to pay attention to what the man was saying. Heeseung’s eyes were flickering up to yours and you raised your eyebrows at him from where you sat at the bar, shifting out of your seat when he beckoned you closer with a quick flick of his fingers.

The rest of your friends followed you and all of you made your way back to the rooms with the band and the man.

He didn’t seem at all bothered by the additional people in the room as he started to repeat his pitch behind closed doors and your heart started to clench nervously when you realized why he seemed so different.

Min Yoongi actually cared about the music quality and spreading a proper message through your work and performances, opening his monologue with descriptions of how he felt hearing and watching the videos Riki had been posting online of the group and you watched as his eyes twinkled with a passion you’d only ever seen before from the boy sitting next to you.

His hand was resting on your arm and draping over your shoulder on the couch but he couldn’t have been further away from you in that moment, holding onto every word Yoongi was saying and leaning forward occasionally to enthusiastically agree with something he was saying.

It was a jarring change after seeing him barely give the other music people a second of his time for the last few months but you understood that they had this connection you simply weren’t capable of understanding, a mutual trust built through having the same dream and passion and by the end of the first meeting, even without anything even halfway confirmed, you knew things were going to change from then on out.

Yoongi didn’t have a lot of money to invest into the boys but he was dedicated to promoting them and helping them with levels of production you’d only get with decades of experience, upping their discography to even higher levels and it wasn’t long before he was proving himself right.

“Tour?” Your voice was breaking around the word Heeseung had just said, continuing his sentence afterwards but you hadn’t heard a thing he’d said after that, your ears ringing as your face paled. “You’re leaving?”

He was faltering at the unexpected upset in your voice and you would’ve felt guilty for not matching his level of enthusiasm but you couldn’t help the wave of panic overwhelming you as you continued to try and process what he was saying.

“Hey, hey Y/N listen to me.” His voice was soft and you could feel his hand reaching forward to touch and cup your cheek, softly swiping his thumb over your smooth hot skin and shifting on the bed so he was closer to you. “It would only be for a few months, then I’d be coming back. We’d all be coming back.”

You’d somehow not processed the fact that going on tour meant the other boys would be also leaving with him and another wave of sickness swept over you at the realization you’d be losing most of your friends in one swoop, the most constant and positive thing in your entire life since you’d met them.

“I don’t want to leave, baby you know I’d never just leave.” He was quickly continuing when he realized he’d made it worse and your eyes shot up to him at the use of the pet name falling from his lips so casually despite never hearing it directed towards you before. He didn’t even seem to notice that he had said it and he was continuing on despite the surprise on your face. “But… I mean this is it.”

His words were vague but you knew exactly what they meant.

This was the end of the road for the life you’d been so happily living because despite how content and happy you were watching them play small and intimate shows, Heeseung had this hunger for more that would never be satisfied in a place like your hometown.

He didn’t mean to break your heart of course and you were definitely at fault for stupidly falling in love with a rockstar, falling victim to the oldest cliche in the book as you sat at the bus station and cried into Joonie’s shoulder. You watched as their tour bus got further and further out of sight before it was turning a corner and disappearing with all of them on it.

Things were the roughest they’d ever been for the first few months the boys were gone.

Your typical routine had been shattered and you were back to existing like a corpse, moving around from one task to the next with no real excitement or purpose. You’d never necessarily gained one but being around somebody as passionate and driven as Heeseung was like getting a secondhand high and you’d been riding the wave of his interest for the last year, now alone out at sea and stuck scrubbing the counters of a coffee shop in the small downtown area of your city.

You tried to write for the first month or two but eventually it got too hard for you to handle and you started to let Heeseung’s letters pile up. He’d still call your home phone but your mom stopped letting you know when he did and sometimes you’d hear her softly telling him that you weren’t feeling good and she’d have you call back later. She never brought it up and neither did you.

He’d call Heejin and Riki too and sometimes you’d hear his voice when you were talking to Sunoo on the phone. He’d went with them on tour after Yoongi had asked him to be their official team manager, giving him more time to handle the business side of things while Sunoo dealt with their personal schedules and issues. You’d listen to your friend lie and say he was talking to his sister and you’d thank him softly as he sighed and asked why you couldn’t just talk to your shared friend.

You didn’t know how to explain that Heeseung was something you needed to get clean from and hearing from him in small doses would make it ten times harder for you to function.

It was too much to say that his letters kept you awake all night crying as you read about how much he missed you followed by random sketches and song lyrics he was writing about you. They wouldn’t understand why you dropped a full plate of food the first time you heard them on the radio at work or why you stayed up all night to see their first actual interview on TV.

Eventually people stopped mentioning the band to you or at least spoke like the main guitarist and face of the group didn’t exist. It was easy enough to avoid for the first six months and then the articles started to roll out.

The boys hadn’t come home after their first tour and they were “temporarily” staying out in New York where there was more of a network and better opportunities. Part of you was grateful Heeseung hadn’t moved back to town, knowing you’d run into him eventually but you couldn’t stop thinking about him regardless considering the news being put out with his name on the headlines.

“That’s his third fight this week Sunoo.” You were spitting over the phone, balancing it between your shoulder and ear as you aggressively scrubbed at a dish that’d already been clean for the past few minutes. “Aren’t you supposed to be keeping them in check?”

“You don’t think I’m trying Y/N?” His voice was exhausted and desperate and you felt bad immediately for snapping at him, knowing your real anger didn’t result from him. “I have no idea what to do, I’ve never seen him like this.”

All the boys had been subject to some controversy as they continued to gain quick fame and admirers but like always, your brain was laser focused on Heeseung. He was getting into drunken fights routinely and being reported with multiple women who may or may not be fans who like to kiss and tell, photos of him and the other boys looking worse and worse each passing weekend as their rockstar lifestyle truly blossomed into an absolute disaster.

Eventually you started to find yourself ignoring the news again, becoming accustomed to it and already knowing what it was going to be every time Riki sighed entering your job and slid a magazine in your direction.

Three years passed like this and while you had stopped crying every night from how much you missed Heeseung and your other friends, if you could even consider them that considering the lack of communication over the years, you still felt that empty feeling in your skin as you robotically went about your routines and lifeless activities that didn’t hold any real purpose or grand result.

At the end of the third year, stretching into a point where you’d been away from Heeseung longer than you were ever with him, Heejin had told you that the band was back in town.

She’d called you and hesitantly let you know that she had run into Jay at the local grocery store a few hours ago, citing that she hadn’t thought much about it until she was back at her tattoo shop and thinking about you possibly running into one of the boys for as long as they stuck around this time. You’d thanked her for the heads up and then buried your head into your arms in upset, both at how little distance was between you and Heeseung and also regarding the fact Sunoo hadn’t even bothered to tell you they were around.

Half of you expected it, knowing you weren’t teenagers anymore standing in a cold concert line and he didn’t owe you any update on his whereabouts, clearly not telling Heejin either considering her shock upon seeing a familiar face.

Joonie however seemed to know all about it when you hesitatingly mentioned it over lunch with her and Riki after he’d asked you why you seemed so on edge. “Well it’s been on their tour show list for like four months.”

“And you didn’t think to tell anyone?” Riki was voicing your thoughts before you could and his face was curled up in annoyance and betrayal as he shoved a fry into his mouth, clearly just as caught off guard as you and hurt considering he’d also gotten close to the members before they’d left and he was friends with Sunoo for as long as you.

“You always tell me not to talk about them in front of Y/N.” She was whining out and you glanced at the younger boy who looked slightly sheepish as she said something he clearly meant to keep private.

She wasn’t necessarily wrong and you’d grown to realize being around her was going to be hard considering how big of a fan she remained of the band even after their decline into scandal, simultaneously acting like any other fan girl and somehow also constantly bragging to others about how she knew them personally before they’d blown up. Maybe she had mentioned their return at some point but it’d been years since you started to tune her out.

“So they’re not staying?” You were finally speaking again, your voice weak and curious and she gave you a knowing look before nodding and patting your hand.

You weren’t sure why you felt overwhelmingly disappointed that they’d eventually leave again despite the fact you planned to spend the entire time they were here avoiding them and hiding out in your apartment. It was probably for the same reason she was giving you a pity filled look and Riki was picking at the skin around his nails.

It only took a few days for Joonie to push the limit on how much of her interest in the band you could take, answering her late night call to hear her hysterical as she screamed over the sound of passing cars and told you she’d completely stalled on the highway and was going to miss the show.

You told yourself that you began immediately putting on your shoes and grabbing your keys because you were a good friend and you kept repeating it in your head the entire drive to her location, swearing over and over that it had nothing to do with putting yourself closer to Heeseung. Even after her and her two friends had gotten in your car with his face on their tshirts, you swallowed your tongue and promised your heart it wasn’t for any other reason.

It wasn’t because you wanted to see the thousands of fans outside the arena, the show being on the nicer side of town and twenty minutes away from the venues they used to hold small performances for.

They thanked you continuously as you parked and then Joonie was pulling you aside to guilty whisper that you’d need to get your parking validate to be able to leave and return to pick them back up. A wave of nausea rolled over you but you were still convincing yourself you didn’t care so you swallowed your sickness and gave her a tight smile before following them outside the car.

“The booths over there.” She was telling you once you’d gotten inside and she had a wide smile on her face that matched her friends, clutching her ticket and practically beaming with excitement. “So we’ll see you at 11:30?”

“Mhm.” You didn’t trust your voice enough to speak and not give away how you were feeling so you hummed out a response to her question you barely processed before watching them squeal and walk towards the actual check in and entrance.

You rubbed your fingers together anxiously before glancing to your right and sighing seeing the line of people waiting to get their parking validated, teenage girls who looked like they barely could drive mixed in with dads and boyfriends who looked just as exhausted and irritated as you were starting to feel.

For a second you considered just leaving the girls there and asking Heejin or Riki to pick them up afterwards so you could drink yourself delirious and forget you’d ever been this close to the band but your heart clenched thinking about them having to experience the same thing and you told yourself again that you were trying to be a good friend.

You’d been standing in the line for twenty minutes, holding onto your last strand of patience and curiously listening to the fans around you talking about the boys with so much awe and wonderment.

You couldn’t help but smile at some things, hearing them gush about Jungwon’s cheeks or rave about how sexy Sunghoon’s newest guitar was and you felt a bit stupid for the pride filling your chest. You’d been avoiding them and their music, never listening to anything they’d put out in recent years but you felt happy for them knowing they were still igniting that same excitement in people even if they seemed to have lost the passion themselves.

It was almost exactly twenty one minutes later when you were feeling something tap against your shoulder, whipping your head to the side to see who had bumped into you before freezing up completely.

He had a mask on and a hat almost covering his eyes but you knew immediately who it was, eyes widening as you looked at him and then glanced around your surroundings to see if anybody had recognized him too.

“The fans don’t pay much attention to anyone without an instrument.” Sunoo was saying and you could hear him smiling even if you couldn’t see most of his face, breathing out a sigh of relief and pulling him in for a hug before you had a second to think about it.

He accepted it immediately and you were grateful that he wasn’t being distant with you despite the fact that was all you’d shown each other in recent years, melting into your hold as your eyes pricked with tears considering how much taller and thinner he was now. Sometimes when you thought of the boys, they were frozen in time and still teenagers in your head and you felt a bit dizzy as the illusion broke right in front of you.

“How’d you know I was here?” You were whispering out into his chest and then pulling back to stare up at him in amazement, scanning over his covered face.

“Sunghoon saw the hundreds of messages Joonie had sent… she actually had the guts to ask him to pick her up after her car stalled.” He was explaining and you felt embarrassed for your friend even though Sunoo was laughing like it was something funny. You got annoyed with her behavior but she was still your friend and you almost felt offended for her knowing they’d all been laughing at her attempts to reach out, no matter how baseless her connection with them seemed on their side. “We figured that you would’ve been the one to answer her calls.”

“We?” You were asking the second the word fell from his lips and a flash of regret passed over his face. “Do they all know I’m here?”

“Except for him.” He was explaining and you felt his hand squeezing your arm to try and calm you down, a flash of familiarity running through you at the feeling despite slowly recognizing the boy in front of you less and less. “But I imagine one of them is going to slip up sooner or later.”

You were nodding in understanding but your heart started to thump with anxiety and you were grateful that the arena was so full, hoping Heeseung wasn’t dumb enough to run out into a waiting room of fans to try and see you.

“I have to go.” You were practically forcing the words out and your face was pulling into a grimace as you said them, feeling short of breath and dizzy as your past and present finally started to collide despite your years of effort. “Can you…”

You were gesturing towards the parking validation ticket in your hand and he glanced down at it before looking back at your panicked eyes and nodding softly, squeezing your arm one more time before he was taking it and giving you the go ahead to get out of the arena before your chest exploded.

You didn’t know exactly what to say to him, you weren’t sure if this was a see you later or another long term goodbye and he seemed to be thinking the same thing, nodding again when you smiled sadly at him and took a few steps backwards.

Nearly losing your footing as you turned around, you were dizzyingly making your way out of the arenas main center and pushing back out into the chilled air. Your lungs tried to suck in deep breaths and you hurriedly made your way back to the parking garage but you were failing miserably and you eventually gave up all together, pausing in your quick strides and resting again the building with your eyes shut tight.

It wasn’t at all quiet, fans still gathered outside before the show and traffic beeps and honks as people tried to get in and out of the busy area, but your head felt empty and shut down.

The sound of footsteps approaching you crept into your dizzy brain and you took a deep breath before looking up, somehow already knowing who it was going to be without so much as a glance. He was stopping a few feet away from you when you looked up and your legs felt weaker as you stared at him in silence.

He was wearing a mask and a hat like Sunoo and whilst you’d been disappointed earlier about not being able to see your old friends face, now you were extremely grateful for the coverage. It didn’t help much considering you could still see the most recognizable part of him, his big eyes blinking at you in shock.

“You don’t look that surprised.” Heeseung’s voice was shockingly similar to how it was last time you’d heard it in person, the tone only slightly deeper and the only major change being the lifelessness behind his words as he watched you stand up straight.

He was right, for some reason you weren’t at all shocked to see him in front of you but he was in the same spot as you considering he came to find you in the first place. “Should I be? You’re here aren’t you?”

You heard him scoff softly before he was turning his head to look around the area, handful of fans still wandering around but slowly starting to disperse as they made their way insides to find their seats and buy the merch. He was glancing back at you quickly and then he was reaching up to take his mask off.

He didn’t say anything for a while after he took it off and you just stared at him, scanning over his face and the difference that time had handed to him. His features were a lot sharper now, growing into his nose and ears perfectly and you once again were hit with the reality that you’d been apart for a long time and the boy you knew was long gone.

“Sunoo validated your ticket.” He was starting to speak suddenly, awkwardness seeping into his tone due to your prolonged silent stare and you watched him dig into his pocket to retrieve the crumbled up piece of paper the parking machine had given you. “He got busy so I just brought it out.”

“He got busy?” You questioned and took a step forward away from the building, taking it from him swiftly and wincing when your finger brushed against his. “You’re the one in the band.”

He didn’t say anything to that, clearly lying about why he had been the one to bring the ticket out but making no move to correct himself or attempt to be honest with you. You didn’t really mind considering you were in a similar boat, having no real reason to rest again the building like you had other than buying yourself more time in the area.

“You’re not staying?” He was asking and his voice broke slightly which caused a large frown to form on your face, not sure why he had to even ask considering you both knew you weren’t going to watch his show.

“I’ll be back after to..” You awkwardly trailed off and lifted your hand that was clutching the parking ticket, indicating the reason you were there and watching him carefully. “Are you nervous?”

He tensed up as the familiar words fell from your lips and you felt like the air stopped moving for a second before he answered. He’d heard it asked thousands of times since it last was in your voice in that specific tone but it never bothered him before after the first year.

It was asked genuinely by other people, actually wondering if he was feeling nervous or at times doubting his abilities and using it as a way to get under his skin. Nobody ever made the simple question feel as important as you did and he understood why now that he was older and had plenty of time to think about it. You asked him, not because you thought he was or you figured he wouldn’t be able to handle the stage and the pressure, but because you knew it ignited a fire in him.

You’d ask him just to hear him repeat back in a firm voice how excited he was, to see that passion flare up in his eyes and give him an opportunity to voice some solid self confidence before he got up there to perform.

You knew right away that the phrase brought him back as far in time as it did you but your stomach turned at the blank look on his face, nothing arising to the surface at the triggered memory and instead he almost looked like he was deflating as you stood there.

“I’m just… tired.” He was eventually muttering back and clearing his throat before anxiously scratching at the back of his neck, both of you knowing the weight of his unusual answer and preparing to cripple under it once you were out of the suffocating hold his gaze had on you.

The both of you stood there for a few seconds longer before you could hear the screaming getting louder from inside, his head turning towards the building before looking back at you with a defeated expression. You knew without him saying it that he needed to go and that same feeling you had with Sunoo started to creep up again, not knowing what type of goodbye this was.

“There’s a second show tomorrow.” He was rushing out and then chewing on his lip ring as he avoided your questioning gaze. “You’ll be on the list.”

He glanced at you one more time but he seemed to understand that you weren’t going to give him a definite response, nodding his head in conclusion before he was turning around and jogging back towards the side entrance of the arena.

All the air returned to your lungs once he was finally out of sight and then immediately left again once you broke into a heavy sob, stumbling back a bit before quickly gathering your emotions and trying your best to hold yourself together.

You were quickly wiping your tears and glancing around to make sure nobody had been a witness to your abrupt meltdown, reminding yourself why you were there in the first place and heading back to your car like your world hadn’t just been taken off pause.

——

It had only taken you two seconds after the invitation fell from Heeseung’s lips to decide that you were going to go to the show.

He had said it like it was a question but the look in his eye told you that he didn’t think you’d come, but he still had invited you and that stupid part of you felt like that had to mean something. You’d had Riki pick the girls up from the concert that night and you ignored Joonie’s calls and the countless uploads she’d had from the concert.

You didn’t need to see the boys performing like nothing had happened, like your entire life hadn’t been flipped outside down with just a few sentences from the boy you’d tried your hardest to forget about the past few years.

It was a bit hypocritical considering you were currently back at the same exact place you were running from yesterday, this time walking in the opposite direction of the parking validation booth and awkwardly approaching the ticketing line. You felt like an idiot telling the staff that you were on the list, seeing their annoyed expressions and knowing they must hear it a dozen times a night from fan girls trying to get backstage.

“Nice try but there’s only ever been one name on the list and trust me, that seats never been taken.” The man was talking to you in a bored tone and your heart clenched at the implication of what he was saying.

You wondered if it was something Heeseung had done at the beginning of the tour in case you decided to come to one of the shows but he knew you well enough to know you never would and you certainly would never stride in the place without a ticket expecting to be on the list.

Eventually you figured that he had put you on there with the hopes that one day he’d have the guts to invite you and your heart shattered a bit more thinking about the fact that he never did, never even attempting as far as you were concerned and aware of. You cleared your throat awkwardly and rummaged in your bag to pull out your ID and hand it to the man silently.

His eyes flickered down to it for a second before looking back up at your face and you saw a wave of shock come over him, immediately followed by embarrassment for doubting you in the first place.

You gave him an awkward half smile and then an appreciative nod when he was stepping aside and allowing you to enter the main performance area. You were pausing at the top of the entrance way, eyes scanning over the large arena and feeling a bit sick considering how many seats were there and how few of them were empty.

You were starting to regret showing up and preparing to turn around and head back out before the show started but you were snapped out of your panic when your phone was ringing in your pocket. You were snatching it out in hopes that it was one of your friends trying to calm you down but your eyebrows furrowed when you saw it was an unknown number.

Finger hovering over the decline button, you had half the mind to consider the fact it might be Heeseung and you were answering it and putting it to your ear before you had a second to think about it.

“You actually came.” You immediately tensed up when the voice was filtering through the speaker, different and raspier but you knew who it was from the first word.

“How do you know I’m here?” You were dumbly asking and glancing around you like he was going to be standing in the shadows somewhere, frowning slightly when he laughed into the phone.

“He told them to alert him immediately if you ever showed up.” Jake was saying as an explanation and halfway confirming your suspicions about how long you’d been kept on the list despite never coming or reaching out to them. “And you’re finally here.”

“I’m not staying.” You were saying quickly and a rough edge seeped into your voice, something you hadn’t had last time he knew you but he also hadn’t been so cocky and demeaning last time you spoke to him so you were equal in that sense.

He was sighing softly and you paused at the sound, not expecting him to sound so defeated. You’d spoken to Jake more than the others over the years, only a few times but he had come home once or twice to visit family and it was hard to avoid him considering he actively was seeking you and the others out each time.

You weren’t really sure why he kept coming around and eventually you realized that he didn’t seem to know why either, looking more and more lost and less like himself every time you saw him. Jake was always so carefree and happy to be around that time you’d all spent together, genuinely seeming like he felt lucky for all of you and the music they were making together.

This new version of him was the most jarring to you out of everybody else because he had gotten sad and then he had gotten very very cold, almost angry every time you saw him and always feeling like he was on the edge of snapping.

You imagine that helped him out on the stage and you finally felt like he fit the rough drummer image that had been given to him by fans and media despite never making that connection yourself when you had known him. So to hear him sigh softly hearing that you were planning on leaving before they even performed, you were stopping in your tracks and finding yourself willing to hear him out.

“He doesn’t know you’re here yet and he’s driving himself so insane that he’s sick in the bathroom.” He was saying in a lower tone and you imagined that staff and other members were around him considering how soon the show was going to start. “No one can get him to come out but I have a feeling on who might.”

Tears were filling your eyes as he spoke about Heeseung’s condition but you were shaking your head in denial despite the fact he couldn’t see you, wiping your face with your sleeve before whispering back to him in a shaky tone. “I can’t do this Jake.”

“Please Y/N.” He was quickly retorting back and he sounded so similar to how he used to that you felt floored. His tone was genuine and filled with concern for his friend and you’d almost forgotten what he sounded like when he cared about something. “All these years you haven’t answered him, please don’t leave yet. Atleast get him on stage and then you can go and I’ll make sure he can’t find you for the rest of the time we’re here.”

Your breath was catching at the last half of his rushed statement and you were covering your mouth for a second with a shaky hand. It took you a few breaths to think of what to say and he stayed silent on the other line throughout it.

“Promise me.” You were mumbling out and clutching the device so hard you were worried it would crack, hearing nothing on the other side for a bit as your stomach bubbled with thick anxiety. “Promise me you’ll keep him away from me after this.”

It went silent again and you were almost positive that he had hung up the phone before he was speaking again in a defeated tone. “I promise.”

——

If you had gone back to the week before and told yourself that you’d be standing in a room with all of your old friends, you would’ve probably hid under the counter at work and begged future you to leave you alone.

You were trying your best to not showcase the fact that you were absolutely freaking out and filling with more and more devastation every time one of them spoke in their lifeless and annoyed tones, bickering behind you about the purpose of your presence and debating wether it was a good idea or not to allow you to be the one to try and gather Heeseung.

“He invited her for a reason Hoon.” Sunoo was sighing in your defense but he didn’t seem optimistic about it either, barely sparing you a glance since you walked through the door and anxiously checking his walkie talkie every few minutes to try and update the staff.

“Because he saw her yesterday and it fucked him up, he’s not in his right mind.” Jay was snapping before Sunghoon could answer for himself and you flinched at his loud tone, taking a step back when he was standing off the couch and throwing an arm in your general direction to emphasize that it was your fault.

You were frowning deeply at the accusation, not understanding how it could possibly be your fault that Heeseung was having a melt down especially when they didn’t seem that rare for him, his general anxiety and mental health another constant topic in the tabloids.

They continued to argue and you did your best to tune them out while simultaneously trying to ignore the fact Jungwon was silently staring at you from the corner and Jake was only a few feet away from you with his arms crossed. He hadn’t said much to come to your defense but he was continuously shooting you glances like he was trying to monitor your reactions.

You might as well have been in a room full of amped up strangers, possibly high as they paced and jittered about and a part of you felt like you were grieving now that you knew there would be no way to pretend things were still the same, no more pretending time was frozen and nothing had changed.

“Have any of you been able to calm him down this entire time?” You were suddenly asking from near the wall and it was the first time you’d spoken since you’d gotten in there.

The reaction was immediate and varying from each boy, half of them tensing up and looking more frustrated at the sound of your familiar voice and the others almost instantaneously losing the tension in their shoulders with softened eyes. It was like they hadn’t fully processed you being there until you spoke, talking around you in hypotheticals like you imagined they’d been doing over the years.

You wondered if you were a topic they were supposed to avoid mentioning like Heeseung had become for you. Then you selfishly wondered if they’d missed you at all.

Nobody answered for a while and then Jungwon was shaking his head softly, holding your gaze with a sympathetic look that caused you to nod in understanding. “Isn’t it worth a try then?”

“We have 15 minutes.” Sunghoon was saying in that same cold tone he’d been using but it held some level of defeat this time, slumping back into the couch and saying no form of the objection he had voiced so quickly earlier.

You were being directed to a hallway suddenly by Sunoo and before you could say anything or ask why he was ushering you out, he was hastily pointing to a door and scurrying off back towards the dressing room. You didn’t necessarily need him to explain, hearing the soft sobs and gags coming from behind the door now, but you wished he had given you a bit more time to collect yourself or think of something to say.

You took a deep breath and decided to not stall and try to gather some of the might you had the other night, pushing through the door and pausing once you were on the other side of it.

“If I have to tell you to fuck off one more time I’m going to get everybody in this shitty arena fired.”

Heeseung’s voice was coming from one of the stalls and your entire body locked up at the sound of it, never hearing him quite so angry before but also never hearing him sound so empty and wrecked. He was clearly holding back his sobs now that somebody was in there but you could see one of his leather boots poking into the stall next to his, laying on the floor and most likely clutching the toilet.

You were approaching the plastic door without saying anything and tugging on it softly once you were close to it, your fingers curling around the top of it and pulling it towards you with a small shake.

Heeseung’s words about the arena being shitty weren’t necessarily incorrect considering the lock on the door was immediately budging and it was flying open towards you, revealing you standing behind it to his swollen eyes and allowing you to see his frame curled up on the floor in a sickened despair.

He looked beyond surprised to see you and you were almost worried he was going to throw up again just from the shock of your arrival, his body locking up and then immediately tensing even more when you were taking a reluctant step inside the stall with him. You may have been practically strangers with a heavy history now but you still knew Heeseung better than you knew yourself most days and you felt that same comfort and familiarity as you always did.

So you were sinking to the dirty floor across from him and sighing softly, letting your head lean against the wall of the stall and glancing at him hesitantly.

“You came.” He was finally breathing out and his voice sounded tight because of your close proximity, not necessarily touching but the closest you’d been in almost half a decade. He was struggling to sit up but he eventually managed and stretched his legs out in your direction, both of you sitting in the same position across from each other.

“You invited me.” You whispered back to him with a small sad smile that was slipping away as fast as it came. “I was on the list.”

He didn’t laugh but you could tell he appreciated your attempts to lighten the situation, eyes softening slightly at the way your shoulders raised into a small casual shrug.

“What’s happening Heeseung?” You were asking him but you both knew what it was already and you felt just as sick as he looked as you said his name, almost feeling like a swear word as it fell from your lips naturally. “Why are we here right now?”

“You…” He was pausing as his voice shook and you watched him closely, not missing the way he was avoiding looking in your direction and instead staring down at the shaky hands that were picking at his fingers in his lap. “You stopped answering the letters, you wouldn’t talk to me anymore.”

Your shoulders deflated as he spoke in a hurt voice, clearly being bothered by your lack of communication and not at all understanding why you had done it in the first place. You admit that it was a bit childish on your side to completely cut him off without a final conversation but you knew Heeseung would never just let you go like you needed.

“It was only supposed to be a few months Hee, you said you’d come home and you never did.” You tried to keep your tone less accusatory than his but you were also extremely hurt by what he had done.

You’d spend the entirety of your time with Heeseung making him your source of happiness and that was your first mistake because he was always bound to leave. He was always set after something much bigger than your town could ever offer but you guess a stupid part of you thought that you would be enough for him to stay.

You didn’t want him to give up his dreams, it was the entire reason you fell for him in the first place but you just wished time could stay frozen in that summer.

It’d been years and you still could feel him sitting next to you, never smoking with the others because you didn’t even though you knew he did it when you weren’t around. He was always supporting you like that and even though neither of you ever said it out loud, you knew he loved you too. It wasn’t his fault that he loved music more and you could never compare to the feeling it gave him but you tried your hardest.

Sometimes you thought it was working, when he’d come over after practice and you’d lay together in your backyard with its overgrown grass. You’d feel it tickling against your bare skin when you laughed at a stupid joke he made and rolled in the other direction clutching your stomach.

Other times you were once again hit with the reminder that he was only temporary, you’d see him zone out listening over and over to tracks he’d been producing or his eyes would go wide with amazement any time you went to a show that wasn’t his.

And you were completely right about him being temporary up until now, watching him sit across from you with that broken expression on his face that made you sick every time you locked eyes with him. You weren’t sure what exactly started his decline, you felt guilt for playing a large part in it but you didn’t think it would be much difference if you had stuck around his life anyways.

Maybe you would’ve begged him to come home when he started going to star filled parties, too many drugs to avoid and too much pressure to fit in to not indulge. Maybe you would’ve called Yoongi and demanded for a hiatus, giving you some time to come see him or bring him back home for a week or two to calm him and his system down.

Maybe you wouldn’t have ended up on the dirty floor of a public bathroom where he was vomiting his guts out just a few minutes ago. You could’ve been back in your long grass or pressed next to him on his dads old couch, still just as young and just as silently inlove with the boy with pretty pink hair and eyes so wide and amazed you couldn’t help but drink them in.

“I would’ve stayed.” He was finally forcing out the words necessary to snap you from your thoughts, the words you’d been considering for the past few years. “If you told me to stay I would have in a second.”

“And then what?” You were retorting quickly but your tone was weak and sad instead of bitter and iced over, shaking your head softly and giving him another sad smile and humorless laugh as you considered the option. “We grow old together with you secretly hating me for ruining your dreams, I live with the guilt of making you do that.”

“I could never hate you. Nothing could ever make me hate you, trust me I’ve tried.” His tone was the opposite of yours, aggressive and nasty as he spat out the words like they burned but you knew his anger wasn’t directed at you necessarily.

You let the two of you fall into an unfamiliar silence, giving him time to collect himself before he accidentally said something he’d eventually end up regretting even more than he already was.

He didn’t say anything either and he seemed to understand what you were doing, sighing out a shuttered breath before he was scooting forward across the floor until his knees were knocking against yours. You glanced up at him and your face fell at the exhausted look on his face, leaning forward similarly until you could wrap your hands around his and squeeze them tightly with your thumbs rubbing over his calloused skin.

Heeseung was sucking in a breath at the feeling of you touching him and then he was breaking into small hiccuped sobs that left you feeling heavy and lost on what you could do to help him.

You were letting yourself sink back into the past when you were moving forward even more so you could pull him closer towards you, his upper half practically in your lap now as you cradled his head and softly pet his damp hair that was dyed black now and messily falling into his eyes.

Your own eyes were falling shut and you were resting yourself on top of him, half hugging each other and half just giving up and letting the weight of his body and yours combine into a mess of limbs and heavy sobs. It was making you feel both better and worse, feeling him so close again but not knowing if it was the last time and also holding the knowledge that you’d missed such a large portion of time with him like this.

It wasn’t possible to get back everything you’d missed, it wasn’t possible to rewind and start over and you weren’t sure there was any way to prevent this amount of hurt anyways.

You could’ve asked him to stay with you all those years ago but then you’d never see that light within him again and you know it would always be on the back of his mind, his fingers and heart always aching for more than what you could give him and you’d stay up countless nights regretting making him give that up for you.

Maybe if you had answered his letters, picked up his relentless calls and heard him out when he didn’t come home. He could’ve had a good reason or maybe just hearing him finally say he loved you would be enough for you to handle the impossible distance.

So many what ifs that you’d never get the answer to because you weren’t there and you’d never get back there again no matter how much your heart still held onto the past and your love together.

Instead you were here and this was where the road with him had led you, cradling each other as the crowd cheered for him outside and it fell on your deaf ears. You knew he wasn’t going to let you go and you weren’t going to make him, you weren’t going to make him choose again and you didn’t know if that would be enough this time but you listened to him cry and prayed it would be.

Heeseung sung out a choir of sobs and gasps into your chest and you knew you would stay with him for as long as he needed you too, until his cries died down or your legs went numb.

Until the cheers fell into silence and the fans went home for the night disappointed, at least holding the knowledge that the music would still be there tomorrow.

You still weren’t positive that he was really here with you and he still felt as fleeting and temporary as he did when you first had met him, wide eyed and stuttered conversations. It was only a small flicker of hope and comfort that your love for him was the most permanent thing you’d ever experienced.

And that small flicker was more than enough for you.

---

𝙕𝙊𝙊𝙈 : a smau mini series

➤ PAIRING: TA! Enhypen hyung line x female! reader

➤ TROPE / GENRE: short smau series | crack | fluff

➤ WARNINGS: use of foul language | kms/kys jokes | explicit/sexual jokes and content | failed attempts at humour | probably some second hand embarrassment

➤ SYNOPSIS: In which Y/N has a zoom meeting and it turns out that her TA! is incredibly hot. Things escalate. Chaos ensures.

➤ [PERMANENT TAGLIST] : @navsnct @lullabyinparis @doodlewon @acciomylove @maiverie @harperwasstaken1 @strwberrydinosaur @esther-kpopstan @raikea10

➤ TAGLIST IS OPEN! : Send in an ask to be added :)

[TAGLIST] : @dimplewonie @lvrjjun @hsgwrld @chaechae-23 @lalalalawon @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @kpoprhia @makiswrld @ilovewonyo @homelycat @captivq @hyukabean @rikisly @enhafika @huskyhunny @jaehaki @catnoirsbitch05 @liliansun​

Pick Your TA!

➤ Lee Heeseung as your English TA!

“why’s he just making me answer?? This gotta be targeted harassment.”

#one:

#two:

#three:

#four:

#five:

#epilogue:

➤ Park Jay as your Law TA!

“why the man on the mic sound a little sexy ?”

#one:

#two:

#three:

#four:

#five:

#epilogue:

➤ Sim Jake as your Maths TA!

“your mic is on, we can hear everything you’re saying.”

#one: fuck maths me and my homies all hate maths

#two: that weird girl from tutorial group 6 who was thirsting over Jake Sim

#three: personal troubles?

#four: most success stories start with hardships

#five: funny how all dreams come trew

#epilogue:

➤ Park Sunghoon as your Psychology TA!

“Idc I’d let him gaslight the shit out of me.”

#one:

#two:

#three:

#four:

#five:

#epilogue:

---

chapter 2!

---

Best Mistake (m)

Minors Do Not Interact !!!!

pairing: brother’s bff!Jake x fem!reader

synopsis: You’ve made mistakes, forgetting to turn off your hair straightener before leaving the house was a mistake. Submitting an assignment past the due date was another common one, but your biggest mistake yet was hooking up with a guy you met for the first time on a night out— and he turns out to be your brothers best friend?! But how is it that something so fucked is your best mistake yet?

warnings:sexual themes/smut, toxic ex, drunk hookup (kinda not really), lowkey voyeurism, unprotected sex (WRAP IT AND PACK IT), mature themes(trauma,implied abusive ex), praise kink (???) and ofc my signature fluff

wc: 14.4K

a/n: OH? Surprise, here’s a little 18+ fic before I start the With Love series! I did this bc Jake….and then he…when he also…and yeah Jake :3 if this sucks ass you can blame my beta readers for reassuring me it wasn’t </3 I’m finally transitioning from a mainly sfw blog to a hybrid of both! the farthest my nsfw content will go is imbedded in fics like this (although I’ll still write fics purely sfw dw!) so any experienced nsfw writers pls give me some advice as I’m still learning and finding my style! Once again if you read and enjoyed pls make sure to like and reblog since tumblr works best off reblogs and I’ll see you at the next series!! Happy readings!

“Alright next!” the cashier exclaimed, passing the messily written ticket to the poor worker behind him already bombarded with previous orders, his arms elbow-deep in tubes of ice cream with sprinkles covering his apron and places sprinkles should never reach.

“Hi can I get a scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream?” You asked politely playing with the pocket of your jeans. After handing you the ice cream you excitedly turned around coming face to face with a clearly unamused Yunjin, a spoon on her tongue watching with disgust as you took a savoring bite. 

“The first thing you get after traveling halfway across the world for break is toothpaste-flavored ice cream?” she scoffed watching your eyes roll, unsure if it was from her comment or how much you were enjoying the desert. “Are you stupid I’m coming back from New Zealand, that’s not across the world.” You smiled shaking your head while the two of you took a seat by the window, the neon blinking lights of the open sign reflecting off the glass of the shop. 

“Hey it feels like it to me…” she pouted, a playful gag emitting from your throat feeling her kick you under the table. College was— hard. Especially being away from your family it was an experience you were both grateful for and dreaded. The home cook meals turned to evening take-outs and to be fair, New Zealand did not have very good Korean food. That on top of making new friends all over again, it was draining. This was your second time coming back for winter break which meant two things; you were finally getting used to life aboard, and your older brother was reaching the last stretch of college. 

“Have you seen your brother yet since coming back yesterday?” Yunjin asked watching you trail your eyes outside the window before shaking your head at her. “No, I think he doesn’t leave the dorms till tomorrow.” You stretched eyeing the empty ice cream cup on the table with a sigh. You never understood the hate for mint choco, maybe it was because your brother hated it you were obligated to eat what he didn’t want, stockholm syndrome? 

“Yeah well, I’m taking you to a party tonight in honor of you coming back and me getting the position at the studio!” She clapped standing up, ushering you to follow suit even though you were shaking your head in protest. 

“I’m not trying to go and run into my brother at a party hosted by his classmates Yunjin.” You emphasized knowing how awkward and embarrassing it would’ve been seeing him again at a party of all places. You and your brother were close, friendly as siblings could be– his annoying smile and ear-wrenching laugh were things you missed after moving out, kinda. You were so sure your parents missed the never-ending bickering that could be heard throughout the house.

“Y/N he won’t be there he’ll be too busy being tired from packing for the break today you know.” She nonchalantly stated, convincing you for a second that she might be right. 

Next thing you knew, here you were; 11 P.M. sharp in front of the building rented out for the party. You knew your brother went to a widely popular school, both in academics and in social life; his stories when the two of you called over the phone would cause you to laugh both in horror and amusement. “How do you even know these people again?” You questioned nodding in acknowledgment towards the guy standing at the door stamping your hand for entry.

“Oh one of the hosts is in my econ class, don’t really know him but I can’t say no to a good party.” She laughed dragging you through the crowded floor. It was fun, the loud music and alcohol pumping through your veins was allowing your body to move on its own. You didn't know anyone here aside from Yunjin but the liquid courage was allowing you to dance with a mind of your own not caring who with and who saw.

Pausing with a smile, the lights blazed and blurred your vision the longer you stood still amongst the hyper crowd. If anything this was telling you to go sober up if you didn’t want your mom questioning why one of your pupils dilated and the other didn't. Huffing past the bodies on the floor you made your way to one of the only empty halls, you needed to pee so bad and after checking upstairs seeing a line to one of the restrooms; you took a chance scurrying into the dimly lit area.  

“Woah–” 

“Shit I’m so sorry!” You exclaimed, your bare shoulder bumping into a figure just outside of the hall searching for the bathroom. His arm held you still– watching you catch your breath; the heat of all the dancing you just went through mixed with the embarrassment you felt creeping from the pit of your stomach colored your cheeks, you were sure of it. His black hair tickled the bridge of his nose while his pretty lips were pulled in a small grin watching you blatantly stare at him. He was so handsome you felt like throwing up, maybe it was the alcohol but from the way his hand was gripping your waist told you otherwise. 

“It’s all good you okay?” Licking his lips you blinked rapidly at the question while stepping away from his hold fixing your hair with a nod. “Yeah sorry about that I’m just looking for a restroom.” You cheekily grinned trying your best not to squirm under his gaze as he looked you up and down. A sudden coy grin appeared on his lips as he nodded behind you down the hall, “It’s down there, you sure you can make it yourself?” He chuckled watching you nod quickly avoiding his eyes. Thanking him swiftly you rushed into the available restroom— luckily, before catching your breath for what felt like the nth time that night. 

Who the fuck was that? The burn of his fingers along your skin sent shivers down your arm recalling the ring on his finger you could vaguely remember cool against your waist. The longer you looked in the mirror the quicker it took you to realize one thing; you looked fucking terrible. Your lashes were slightly misaligned, the eyeliner slowly rubbed under your eye and your hair was a mess; baby hairs sticking up from the humidity and heat on the dance floor. Refreshing yourself you checked your phone to see it was nearing three in the morning, it was definitely time to go home. 

Opening the door to the restroom you flinched, startled seeing the mysterious boy leaning against the wall parallel to the door– his gaze down the hall allowing you another glance at his pretty nose.

“Sorry was I taking too long?” You asked snapping him from his thoughts; allowing him to take in your refreshed appearance and unusually tight grip on your phone. He couldn’t help but admire the way your hair fell over your shoulders, bare skin peeking through taunting him to reach out to feel it on his own.

“No I was just making sure you didn’t pass out in there.” Looking at him skeptically you glanced at your phone vibrating to see a text from Yunjin saying to leave without her– looks like someone got lucky.

“You go to school here?” You heard him ask, the rumbles from the bass filtering out the beating of your heart as you caught his gaze with your own. Despite the dim hall, you could see his red eyes and dark gaze, toying with the ring on his finger waiting for you to respond. Closing the bathroom door you leaned against the cold wood, crossing your arms with a shaking head in an attempt to mask how on edge you were from his obvious stare furthering down your legs.

“But I guess you do though?” You asked back, watching his tongue lick his bottom lip with a nod, “My friend is hosting the party– I’m here to make sure no one is lingering where they aren’t supposed to be.” He emphasized, a small smirk on his face hearing you scoff while pushing your phone into the belt of your skirt.

“Then why are you standing here, it doesn’t seem like you’re being efficient.” You hummed, noting how there was no one else in the hall aside from the few who passed the entrance in a hurry. His low chuckle caught you off guard feeling a slight tingle from how unusually low he sounded. The tapping of his shoe prompted you to look at him with a quizzical brow– watching him push off the wall with his shoulder making his way to stand before you directly. 

“Is it really though? I found you here didn’t I?” He leaned, whispering in your ear as you felt yourself push further back into the door. The smell of his cologne mixing with the aroma of liquor on his breath was too much, it filled your senses; all you wanted was to sober up and this was making you more lucid. You should be alarmed, calm yet collected even but feeling his finger drag up your side instinctively caused your arms to fall limp, allowing him to brush from your elbows down to your wrist. The apparent heat between you and him intensifying with each gaze and the wisp of his breath against your lips.

“You’re drunk.” huffing you placed a weak hand against his chest feeling the rumble of his chuckle as your lips parted slightly from him pushing you harder into the wood, your legs practically shaking from his free hand caressing your thigh. Shaking his head he dropped his face into the crook of your neck, his lips slightly caressing your skin making you freeze with a weak sigh.

“I was drunk, maybe an hour or two ago when I saw you walk in— but I definitely sobered up seeing you have all that fun by yourself out there.” His tempting eyes stare back at you after turning a cheek to his rather gallant confession, you felt crazy.

“Are you drunk?” the question flowed smoothly past his pink lips, placing a rather shaky hand against the side of your head blocking your view of the open hallway long out of thought. Gulping you fought against the feeling pitting in your stomach; push him away— you won’t let him get away with it, not with his disarmingly upturned smirk and enamored eyes. Gracelessy your hand that was paused against his chest moved on its own, coming up to grip the collar of his shirt before drawing him so close; if you lifted yourself slightly your lips would’ve touched his that were glistening just before you. 

“Why, would you be disappointed if I said yes?” 

Your question surprised him, his slightly hooded eyes growing in size taking a breathless gulp out of both anticipation and awe. Much to your dislike he pulled away, pushing himself off you with an unreadable glint, fixing the hair over your shoulders.

“Then I guess I better get you back to your friend.” he huffed biting back a smirk seeing your eyes dart down the hall and then back to him. Your grip around his collar tightened pulling him towards you in a swift motion, a grunt coming from him feeling your chest now pressed against his. Despite it being only you and him; everything felt so closed in, especially with him against you all that you could think of is one thing, lean in.

Maybe this was a bad idea, it was late and you didn’t want to wake up too late tomorrow waiting for your brother finally come home. 

Releasing your grip on his collar you gasped feeling his hand come behind your neck keeping you in place, his fingers locking into your hair forcing his knee in between your clamped thighs.

“Don’t get shy with me now you were being so fearless earlier.” you heard him whisper— lips hovering over yours as his last act of courtesy before your eyes caught the way he was staring down at your hand. Your hand that found its way down his chest to his abdomen, clenching his shirt in desperation after feeling the fabric of his jeans brush your inner thigh, a sudden clenching sensation running up your body making you shiver at the sight of his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. 

“I’m not shy.” You whimpered watching his smirk grow after pushing his thigh higher grazing your clothed core, making you crash your lips onto his finally. You savored the bitter aftertaste of vodka on his tongue after he took the chance to deepen the kiss, his tongue fighting for dominance having you whine in defeat. It was too much, with his hand gripping your nape and pulling you closer you could feel your skirt ride up from the position you were in but that wasn’t even a concern for you at the moment.

Something about how you were in the dimly light hall made the kiss feel erotic— uncontrollable even; running your hand through his hair tugging on his dark locks encouraging a groan to escape him. Pulling away from the kiss to catch your breath for a second your eyes blurred slightly from seeing his wet lips and huffing chest.

“You’re not shy?” he hummed. The hand that was holding your hip firmly against his thigh now drew in between you, playing with the button of your skirt, he watched your lips part after hearing the slight pop of the button. “If you’re not shy—” he paused searching your gaze for any hesitation until you pulled him closer, a flash of excitement seen in his eyes before you felt his hand touch the hem of your panties.

“Then prove it.” watching your brows furrow slightly you began feeling his fingers travel on your inner thigh, tracing god knows while the wires in your brain were short-circuiting with each passing second. With your free hand, you grabbed onto his traveling one guiding him back to your skirt. Your eyes never left his allowing his fingers to slip past the fabric of your pants finally feeling him against your bare skin. 

Any thoughts of being caught were long out the window, drowning out the sound of music and partiers all you could hear was his voice kissing compliments against your jaw, sighing when his fingers finally ran between your folds cursing in your ear about being so eager— so eager for him. Sliding your panties to the side he began rubbing circles on your nub erupting whimpers into his ears like an automatic response.

You felt his hand jerk hearing a couple of people from down the hall asking if the bathroom was available; of course he said no, annoyance lacing his voice while you tried your best to stand straight. Pulling your skirt down you huffed watching him push your hands away with a scowl, his two fingers once again slipping between your folds teasing your entrance with a dark look pooling in his eyes. 

“You gonna be a good girl and keep quiet for me?” He cooed kissing your jaw before sucking on the sensitive skin against your neck. Despite the utter humiliation from almost being caught you could care less, the look he was giving you while teasing your patience was all you could focus on trying to move your hips in an attempt to feel his fingers slip in—even if it was just a bit. 

“I’ll try,” you demeaningly replied noting the kiss on the temple he gave before his fingers slowly and painfully slipped inside you. Painful not because it hurt, but because it felt so full from his fingers alone. Eyes fluttering shut you felt him slowly rub your numb with his thumb, fingers curling inside you causing a hand to come up to his neck— cupping his nape while the other gripped the door in an attempt to keep your knees from buckling at any second. 

“You’re so beautiful holy fuck.” You heard him moan, his fingers picking up speed making you unconsciously widen your thighs for him to do whatever he wanted. You could feel something poking your thigh but you didn’t care, you were seeing stars and colors despite your eyes being shut, moaning a cry fueling his ego to go faster; rub your nub faster. He wanted to tease you a little bit, payback for the bratty responses from earlier but seeing your fucked out expression and your legs opened wide for him, he wanted to see more— feel more.

“Oh fuck it feels so good please I’m—” You hushed opening your eyes to see his brows furrowed and lips pulled between his teeth. You couldn’t get over how incredibly handsome he was, fingers pumping in and out of you creating an indecent sound from how wet you were. Bucking your hips you couldn’t process the sweet empty words he was whispering as an unfamiliar feeling dwelled in your core; tension tearing through your stomach as you yelped in disbelief watching him spit onto his fingers taking you over that edge you were so desperately close to. 

“Cum, cum for me so that everyone here knows how good you’re feeling.” and like a spell you felt yourself tighten on his fingers. Your orgasm had you shaking while gripping his shoulders hopelessly with his digits still deep inside you, thumb circling your nub helping you ride out your high.

“Good girl.” he cooed placing a kiss on your cheek; slowly taking his fingers out, he chuckled at the soaked spot on his jeans. Leaning your head against the door breathlessly, you watched in awe as he brought his two fingers up to his lips, tasting the evidence of your shared sin with a hungry look in his eyes, fuck he was so hot.

Clasping your arms around his neck you captured his lips for a kiss tasting yourself in the process, a slight grin creeping between as you felt him pull your skirt down, rubbing the low of your back once your skirt was on somewhat correctly. Realization hits that you didn’t even know his name; a guy who was knuckles deep inside you and you didn’t even know his fucking name. Pulling back you were going to ask before noting your phone that was lighting up on the floor, eyes widening seeing a text from your brother.

Sunghoon: You’re not home? I asked Mom and she said you went out…. o7o

“Shit.” You cursed moving out of his embrace not noting the conflicted expression flashing on his face. Quickly picking up your phone you gave one last look at the guy who admiring your now flustered appearance.

“I’m sorry I have to go.” You whispered noting the visible disappointment in his eyes as he nodded. Who were you kidding, you were at a party hosted by a school you didn’t go to; hooking up with a hot guy you’ll never see again. 

“Fuck it.” grabbing his collar again you gave him one last kiss, savoring the shape of his lips against yours one last time before slipping away not sparing a glance back. 

After coming home that night you were relieved to find Sunghoon was indeed asleep in his room not waiting for you and the obvious hickey on your neck. You wouldn’t say he was particularly strict, just when it involved boys. Especially after your horrendous last relationship, you didn’t blame him for caring about who you allowed into your life. Being your older brother you could never forget the first memory you had of him. It was a summer day, remembering clearly the taste of chlorine hitting the back of your throat and the burning sensation in your eyes as coldness surrounded your body.

Sunghoon pushed you into a 3-foot pool when you two were younger, how cute.

But he was a good brother, walking you home from school and taking you to violin practice— Sunghoon never failed to take care of you which you were grateful for. Only once you moved away for college was when you could see his protective traits come out, could you blame him? You were his little sister, his only sister, calling to complain to him about your high school boyfriend treating you like shit despite the long-distance relationship.

The numerous comments and disapproval chats didn’t stop you from going out with him; so Sunghoon wanted you to learn for yourself. But when he found out about the crippling misery you went through after coming to visit last winter was enough for him to take matters into his own hands. Let’s just say it was a deserved beat break up.

“Y/N can you bring me the remote?” Slowly turning to Sunghoon you gave him a scowl, eyeing the remote that was by his foot across the room from you. He snickered hearing you curse before standing up to head to the kitchen.

“Okay well, my friends are coming over later! Do what you want with that information,” he yelled opening the fridge. Raising a brow you stood up joining him in the kitchen while he whipped up a protein shake. “What are you embarrassed by your sister? It sounds like you want me to leave.” You frowned catching the way his eyes quickly glanced at the clock. 

“I mean don’t you want to see Yunjin or something? You came back for the break but don’t want to meet with any of your friends?” He suggested ignoring your question with ease. Slapping his back he yelped pivoting to you with his brows furrowed in annoyance.

“Why are you embarrassed by me I didn’t even do anything!” You whined causing his eyes to roll before shaking his drink. “I’m not embarrassed by you Y/N, well…” he paused looking down at your stained oversized t-shirt with a disgusted frown.

“It’s just that Heeseung hasn’t seen you in a while and he’s kinda desperate for a girlfriend right now and I’m not trying to deal with that.” Sunghoon sighed walking back to the couch as you followed. Heeseung has been a close friend of your brother for as long as you could remember, he was hot. You remember having a crush on him in middle school but after hearing Sunghoon complain about how many girls he has to deal with around Heeseung you figured your young crush should just stay a crush.

“But I don’t like Heeseung like that.” You bluntly stated, Sunghoon watching your expression intently to make sure you weren’t lying. Looking away he turned the TV channel sipping on his drink. 

“He’s not the only one my other close friends are coming over, you don’t know them.” 

Blinking at your brother you sighed nodding in defeat. “Fine if you want some guy time I don’t mind staying in my room. You might as well date your friends seeing how protective you are of them.” You joked yelling in shock as he chucked a pillow in your direction. Making your way to your room you sighed looking in the mirror with a grimace, you weren’t sure what your shirt was stained with to be honest. Changing you chucked the shirt back into your closet before plopping on your bed, texting Yunjin if she was free this evening.

“Hello?” 

“Y/N I would love to hang out with you and spend a nice summer evening in your stinky room, but I have a date.” You heard her explain, sarcasm poking your ear while you glanced out the window; it was a nice day outside. “Maybe you should’ve asked the poor guy you left with blue balls at the party for his number, imagine how romantic a summer fling would’ve been.” she laughed hearing you groan in embarrassment.

Since that night you haven’t been able to forget the feeling of him inside you, despite your pitiful attempt to recreate that high it just wasn’t the same. “Yunjin you know I don’t do flings.” You whispered memories flashing before your eyes hearing your friend coo with admiration. 

“I know I know Y/N, I just want you to have some fun. It took a lot from you to move on after, you know who, I’ll let you know when I can hang out okay? Love you!” smiling you hummed in acknowledgment before throwing your phone onto the floor, staring at the ceiling light hovering above your bed blankly. 

“What the hell are you staring at? Stand up.” Turning your head slowly you watched quietly as Beomho walked towards your bed, anger pooling in his eyes you’ve grown accustomed to when he was upset. Upset at you or upset at something else it didn’t matter— you always got the short end of his anger. Beomho was your high school boyfriend, he was sweet. Asking you out on confession day in junior year the two of you didn’t date immediately, it took a lot of courting on his end but that was something you appreciated about him— he was patient.

Sunghoon was never a big fan of him, saying there were rumors about him but from what you saw, none of that seemed true. You always attended his basketball games and he always attended your recitals with flowers to give at the end. His small acts of affection like waiting for you after class or eating lunch with you and your friends made it feel like he was perfect. That was until senior year close to graduation, you saw the first crack in his mask. 

One of your orchestra classmates had asked to borrow your music sheets for evaluation after leaving his at home, it was the last evaluation needed for graduation and you knew how much he needed to ace this piece. Beomho had seen the interaction and wasn’t too fond of the small hug he gave you before walking off.

He was angry, livid; accusing you of developing feelings for your classmate while you cried pleading for him to believe he was the only one you wanted. The bruise accompanying your arm the following week left you thinking that it was your fault, if you didn’t hug him; Beomho wouldn’t have gotten mad. The rose-tinted glasses you had on detoured you from acknowledging the fact Beomho was eating you alive. His mask slowly slipped revealing the absolute monster he was on the inside. 

You believed it was the change to a long-distance relationship, but after constantly denying allegations from mutuals seeing him with other women and his never-ending list of texts and calls bombarding you will hateful words and thoughts you knew it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your fault for staying nor was it your fault for denying the truth. Your first winter break visit was when Sunghoon knew something was wrong, your tired eyes and change in character and appearance made him assume it was just the stress of college and being away from home.

But after coming back early one night from a friend's house, your loud cries and Beomho’s booming voice prompted him to burst through your door finding his little sister helplessly trying to hide from a very angry Beomho.

His mask shattered that night completely, and everything came to light, from the physical strain to the poisonous self-deprecating seeds he planted in you; Sunghoon promised to himself one thing after that night— he’ll never let you go through that ever again. He felt guilty in a way, this all happened right under his nose while you suffered in silence. With your eyes closed you heard shuffling along with faint voices hushed through the walls. Fluttering them open you realized Beomho wasn’t here, just the memory of him you wished to forget. 

The sound of your phone ringing reluctantly pushed you to sit up, reaching for your phone on the floor below you. “Hello? Yeah ok I’ll go down to eat it later, be safe at work.” You hummed sweetly hearing your mom on the other line. I guess she doesn’t know about his friends coming over. Peaking out of your room, you could see from down the hall Sunghoon’s room with that stupid name tag tapped onto the door he made in middle school. Knocking softly you heard him shout a response over the laughter you heard from inside.

“Sunghoon, Mom said there’s dinner downstairs I don’t know if it’s enough for your friends so make sure you order something, I’m heading out,” you stated not wanting to open the door. You weren’t sure how many friends he had over and to be fair you didn’t want to find out.

“Is that Y/N?” you recognized it was Heeseung and despite Sunghoon’s disapproving groans the door swung open revealing a familiar face you haven’t seen in a while. The tall boy pulled you into a hug claiming it’s been so long since he had last seen you. “Where are you going?” Sunghoon asked looking away from his PC with his brows raised. 

“I’m going out to get food since I’m craving it. But Mom called earlier and told me there's food downstairs.” You sighed leaning against the door frame. “Oh we can just eat together!” Heeseung suggested earning an instant ‘no’ from Sunghoon.

“No really I was just gonna order takeout–” 

“It’s fine it’s been a while, by the way, these are some friends we met at the skate park on campus!” Heeseung interrupted you, prompting a scoff to leave your lips looking up at him. “Since when did you and Sunghoon skate?” your brother was someone you never took as a skateboarder but hey— everyone picked up new hobbies it seemed. In the time you were away, you picked up small hobbies such as reading and cooking. It was a way for you to redirect your stress from school while doing something good for yourself. 

“Since last year.” An unfamiliar voice spoke. You’ve never seen him before but from his sharp eyes and coy smirk you figured he and your brother were good friends. “This is Jay—” Sunghoon motioned to him promoting a nod from the boy on the bed,

“And this is Jake.” Trailing your gaze across the room your eyes landed on someone leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and his stare on you. Sunghoon glowered seeing your eyes blinking rapidly shifting suddenly on your feet,

“What you know Jake?” he asked looking in between your shaking head and a slightly flustered yet amused Jake.

So his name is Jake. 

Jake who was knuckles deep inside you a couple of days ago, Jake who made you cum so hard you thought your eyes were rolling to the back of your head that night. Jake who was your brother's best friend. 

To your detest you found yourself sitting between Jake and Heeseung, takeout scattered around the family dinner table as you hesitantly picked at the side dishes with your bottom lip pulled between your teeth. “I think I’m done, thanks for the meal.” You announced hastily picking up your plate that was barely dirtied heading to the kitchen. Jake watched your retreating figure quietly, a familiar sight from the night the two of you met for the first time. He has not gone a night without thinking of you and the utter indecency that happened in the hall.

What started as an annoying act of kindness for a lab mate turned into meeting someone he knew he could only meet once in a lifetime. Love at first sight was a phenomenon he didn’t believe in but something about you that night made him stick around a little longer, thankfully so. Lonely nights with his eyes closed reminded him of your blissed face and tender touches, your hands all over him in desperation as he watched you come undone on his fingers. Your sweet taste tingled on his tongue in a desperate attempt to cum after the thought of you alone riled him up.

To see you were Sunghoon’s— Park Sunghoon; his best friend's sister was a blessing and a sin. He wasn’t sure if his eyes were deceiving him the moment Heeseung opened the door, but your snappy responses and coy smile confirmed exactly what he needed to know, it was definitely you. Sunghoon mentioned he had a younger sister before but he never thought much about it. The two had been classmates way before the pair began talking casually after meeting at the skate park. 

So you were the sister Sunghoon was keeping from everyone. 

“You guys want a drink? I’m gonna go get one.” Jake asked popping from his seat with his eyes glued towards the kitchen entrance, not paying attention to what they asked him to fetch— Jake rushed into the kitchen fixing his shirt with a gulp seeing your backside at the sink. The sound of water rushing and dishes clanking against each other distracted you from the fact someone was standing behind you, specifically who. 

“Oh my god!” You yelped clasping your mouth as Jake worriedly held his hands out in a fit of distress. After finding a comfortable spot behind you by leaning against the island counter, the last thing he wanted was for Sunghoon to rush in here after hearing you yell in fear. You watched his eyes scan your face; almost as if seeing if you were really there in front of him. 

“Hey stranger.” Jake whispered, a grin on his face noting the way you were once again staring blatantly at him. He was more handsome than you remembered, maybe it was the lack of visibility that night but seeing his bright eyes looking back at you erupted the same sensation you felt when you first saw him. Replying with a breathless ‘hi’, you felt his hand reach out for your waist—the same way he did that night. 

Before he could completely pull you towards him, you immediately jerked away blinking rapidly from feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Sunghoon on queue came running in, looking between you and Jake standing on opposite sides of the kitchen, “I thought you were getting drinks?” He asked Jake who shrugged with a smile,

“I was just asking your sister about the band on her shirt.” He lied opening the fridge, tossing your brother random drinks to usher him out, Sunghoon gave him a skeptical frown but nevertheless walked away. Turning to you again Jake leaned against the island, eyeing your bare legs making you feel exposed under his gaze. 

“We can’t let him find out about what happened.” You whispered walking back to the sink to finish the dishes.

“And what exactly happened?” Jake hummed moving to lean against the other counter beside the sink, his shoulders grazing your cheek slightly from how close he was.

“You know what happened.” You hissed quietly pointing a wet finger into his chest as he held back a chuckle. “Trust me I don’t want Sunghoon to find out either, the last thing I need is for him to be coming for my neck.” He huffed eyes on the kitchen entrance before looking back to see you drying your hands. 

“I'm glad we’re on the same page.”

Before you could walk away you felt him tugging your arm, trapping you against the island counter softly while leaning down to look you in the eye. Licking your lips you shifted under his gaze, the same desire riling you the same way it did that night.

“Jake–” You muttered, lips parting as he began placing open kisses on your neck, a smirk on his face feeling you jerk from nipping at your collarbone. 

“He’s gonna kill me if he finds out–” you hissed watching him glance behind you towards the laughter in the other room. It was like you were tempting him on purpose; hands gripping the counter with your bottom lip pulled between your teeth looking around with worried doe eyes. Your thighs instinctively clamped together feeling him run his fingers down your side pressing kisses against your chest while getting on his knees.

“Then let’s not let him find out.” he crooned forcing your thighs open before licking his lips, he wanted this— he’s been dreaming of this, to feel your skin again and to taste his forbidden fruit that already had him hardening with each passing second.

“Can you do that for me? Keep quiet like a good girl ok?” He hushed pulling your shorts down in a shift motioning, moaning slightly at the sight of your panties peaking underneath your shirt. Glancing back at the entrance you nodded feeling giddy about the familiar pet name, the sight of him under you had your stomach churning in excitement and desire. You couldn’t believe it, the man who left you utterly speechless was in your house pressing a wet kiss on your inner thigh while removing your wet stained panties.

This was a dumb idea, stupid even with people in the other room, but you haven’t felt this way in a long time. 

His hungry eyes watch you desperately holding your shirt up for him to run his fingers through your folds, coating them in your essence before sucking on his fingers, this is what he’s been dreaming about. Your taste on his tongue struck him like waves of euphoria, and not waiting any longer he swung a leg over his shoulder clamping down on your thigh as you yelped softly.

“You know Y/N…” he called out, your mind turning hazy from his fingers playing with your skin trying your best to seem as normal as possible in case someone walked in.

“I’ve been thinking about you at night when I’m alone,” He hummed pecking soft kisses on your nub, a small moan leaving your parted lips as you felt his fingers slip inside you; painfully slow strokes as you adjusted to his fingers.

“How you taste so sweet—” He whispered running a long line from the hilt of his fingers to your nub, your head back throwing back in pleasure.

“And how tight you were when you came on my fingers.” He slurped, fingers curling inside you in an inhuman way to wring you dry from the inside out. You were soaking wet and he wasn’t complaining, it was more for him to drink up. The grip around his shoulder tightened from your thighs jerking at the way he was eating you out like a fucking animal.

Moaning his name only encouraged him to apply pressure with his tongue and increase in speed, and like music to his ears, you only grew louder. Much to your dislike, you groaned as he removed his lips from your sensitive nub coming up to capture your lips in a furry thirst, your hands coming to grip his neck feeling your first high creeping up on you.

“Y/N?” You heard Sunghoon yell from the other room, breaking away Jake immediately dropped down to his knees; his fingers still inside you while the other held your leg for balance. Coughing slightly you were thankful to be on the other side of the island, taking deep breaths as Sunghoon came into the kitchen with his jacket on.

Fuck as grateful as you were for the island you wished Sunghoon never came at all, you were so close—

“Where’s Jake?” He asked watching you run a hand through your hair while looking at the ceiling, “I-I don’t know he left for the bathroom a while ago.” You answered looking down at Jake slowly moving his fingers inside you, placing wet kisses along your inner thigh causing you to squirm. He was fucking insane, Sunghoon was in the room and he was busy curling his fingers making you hiss out a whine unwillingly.

“Oh well can you tell him to meet us at the skate park when he’s done? If not lock the door when he leaves.” You could barely hear him say; nodding at the pleasure Jake was giving you from slipping his tongue inside your hole next to his fingers, but from Sunghoon’s brief view you were simply nodding at his request. 

You felt it, the same tension tearing your abdomen apart wishing for Sunghoon to get the fuck out of the house so you could cum right then and there. Repeating his name in whispers you could hear Jake encouraging your orgasm, eyes glued to you gripping the counter, your knuckles turning white while choking on words, if you were this responsive to his tongue on your cunt he could only imagine going further.

Once again coming up for a kiss he watched your fucked out expression, lips parted with your brows furrowed at the pure ecstasy; over stimulation. From your flushed cheeks and red lips from biting them so much, Jake just couldn’t get enough, he could practically feel himself leaking at the sight of you alone.

“You’re gonna cum?” You heard him whisper, nodding slightly as you saw colors lining your sight.

“Come on baby you did it once before you can do it again.” He whispered, dirty words filling your ear as you felt his free hand tugging the hair beside your nape, keeping you from looking away as he felt your walls convulsing around his fingers. You came, you came so fucking hard that you couldn't even feel the grip on your hair tighten as he placed kisses against your exposed neck.

Squeezing your thighs together Jake allowed you to slide down against the counter, still rubbing circles on your nub watching you grip his shirt out of pure exhaustion as your voice mumbled incoherent words as he pressed kisses around your face. Not even acknowledging Sunghoon bidding you goodbye and the front door closing shut. 

“Good girl.” He whispered watching you hazily look at him, then at the obvious tent in his jeans. Noting your visibly drained stature Jake helped you off the floor placing another kiss beside your temple that had your stomach doing flips. You never expected to find yourself in Jake’s arms guiding you to your room. Especially not after he just finished eating you out like a fucking pro. But there were a lot of things you weren’t expecting— 

“Nice room.” he grinned taking in your cozy space lined with shelves filled with records and books, ranging from boring literature he’d never pick up to comic books he was very familiar with. You grinned plopping on your bed, laughing when he followed suit; his bright eyes staring at your closing ones. The smell of your scent filling his nose hit him that he was indeed in your room, his best friend’s sister’s room to be exact.

“How’d Sunghoon even pick up skateboarding in the first place?” You chuckled, the image of your brother on a skateboard bringing tears to your eyes.

“Well I knew Sunghoon from class way before but we never talked like that.” Jake groaned bringing both his hands behind his head comfortably. Your eyes snapped open watching a content smile form on his lips. “It was what? After winter break when Jay and I first saw Heeseung and Sunghoon at the park. Heeseung had the basics down but Sunghoon fell to his ass.” He snickered recalling the main reason why the pair walked up to the other in the first place.

After Winter break last year was a dark time for you, freshly out of a toxic relationship while being forced to go back for college, you knew Sunghoon was never the type to try new things unless he wanted to get his mind off of stuff that was bothering him.

You knew he partly blamed himself for what happened, even though you’ve told him many times it was no one’s fault you couldn’t help but feel guilty for that. Jake must have noticed your deflated eyes because you felt him reach out to brush a couple strands of hair away from your face— making sure to whisper about how pretty you were in the process with a sweet gaze. He sighed seeing your small smile again, and unconsciously his question slipped out a lot easier than he expected. 

“Can I ask why Sunghoon is so adamant about being so protective of you? I’ve heard about it but never seen him act that way before.” Seeing your eyes scan his Jake immediately apologized, thinking it was insensitive for blurting out a question that probably had an important reason behind it. Shaking your head you sighed, lifting yourself to lay closer to him which he allowed, your eyes glued to the ceiling fan as the sunset blazed through your windows. 

“It’s just after my past relationship last Fall Sunghoon always felt this fucking sense of responsibility for what happened…” You paused hearing Jake hum in acknowledgment encouraging you to continue. “It’s really not I was just blinded by—” You stopped, feeling the lump in your throat realizing it was the first time in a while talking about what happened. You fell for the idea of Beomho, not knowing that ideas were one of the many dangerous things to fall in love with.

Jake could only watch as you struggled to find words, your eyes flickering in the shadows created by the sunset painting your profile orange. He didn’t know what took over him, trailing his fingers across your sheets he found your hand gripping the covers— relaxing them so he could hold your soft palm in his grasp.

“So I guess he was a bad person.” You heard him whisper exhaling as he understood for the first time something about his friend who never spoke about his thoughts and struggles. 

“Yeah, a really, really bad person.” You choked to say, earning a squeeze from Jake peering at you carefully. 

Jake would agree, it wasn’t his fault at all, but knowing Sunghoon who was attentive and vigilant— he could only imagine how Sunghoon felt not only as a brother but more importantly as a man who could never validate what happened to you. Sitting in silence Jake felt your hand shaking, with your eyes closed he stayed quiet knowing ‘sorrys’ weren’t going to change what happened and that all you needed was support even if it was in silence.

And you were grateful for that, the overbearing sympathy you’ve received from people never made you feel better about what happened but like psychometry— Jake knew exactly what to do.

It made you feel worst for keeping whatever this was from Sunghoon, but this was for you.

Turning to face him you smiled softly hearing his soft giggle ring through your room as the two of you now lay facing each other, drinking in each feature you both could see with enclasp hands.

It was as if the two of you were falling in love with the moment, in the presence of warmth and comfort radiating off how pure your intentions were. Jake was interested in you even if it meant hiding behind his best friend’s back, if it allowed him to be beside you like this then he was willing to try only if you wanted to as well. 

“Jake,” you called out for him; tracing your free hand over the veins along his arm earning a small hum. Sitting up slightly your finger began tracing his features, from his plump lips to his pretty nose and through his dark locks, you felt everything. Jake grinned pulling you closer so that you were hovering above him slightly, his thumb rubbing circles along your knuckles waiting for you to continue. 

“How are we going to hide this from Sunghoon?” You asked placing a thumb over his brow,

Oh— he could understand why you were reluctant to start anything with him. He totally understood why. You weren't ready for anything and he had to respect that. Maybe he had high hopes but he couldn’t help feeling a tad dejected. “I mean I don’t think he knows we met at the party so as long as we don’t act awkward after this—”

“No I meant if we start seeing each other after this how are we gonna meet up without him knowing?” You bit your lip watching his expression change from what looked like a kicked puppy to a happy puppy given a treat.

“Really?” He asked pulling his free hand up to push your hair behind your ears, you nodded bringing his hand to your lips, giving him a peck that caused him to giggle happily— god he was so fucking cute. You weren’t thinking about the future when you had to return to New Zealand in a couple of months for college, or what would happen if you and Jake didn’t work out.

“Yes really Jake— even if it means you’ll forget about me the moment I go back to New Zealand for the next semester then that’s okay.” You sighed looking up making it obvious you were joking, Jake scoffed shaking his head before flipping over on top of you.

“New Zealand? You know I’m from Australia which just means it’ll be easier for me to visit. We’re neighbors.” he shrugged feeling proud when you laughed wholeheartedly at his attempt to reason logically.

“You know I won’t forget about you Y/N, I’m serious when I say I’m willing to make this work, we’ll just have to try.” Looking up at him you nodded; watching the way his gaze searched yours admiring how your hair sprawled out around you. He wasn’t joking, if he wasn’t able to forget about you after your 30-minute session at the party how the hell was he going to forget about you now? He couldn’t and he didn’t plan to.

Kissing you tenderly on the lips he snickered feeling you wrap your arms around his neck, keeping him down as what started as a sweet kiss turned into a needy one. Pulling apart you peered up at him huffing, drawing the loop of his jeans toward you making him rub against your abdomen painfully slow. 

“Y/N stop—” he hissed knowing if the two of you were to go any further you wouldn’t be able to get up once he was done with you. He’s been holding back for a reason, but seeing the way you were looking up with shining eyes; the urge he’s been suppressing for some time was leaking through the surface. You could see the obvious strain in his eyes but you wanted to do something for him after giving you the best fucking oral orgasm you’ve ever experienced.

“I wanna make you feel good.” You whined unzipping his jeans observing his face contorting while gripping your sheets, watching how his veins popped in frustration all along his arms the bolder you got. He called out your name again, trying to sound as stern as possible feeling your hand run up his shirt watching him with a cheeky grin. His muscles tensed over the areas you caressed making it hard for him to not get overly excited.

With a simple look in his eyes, you knew what he was asking you, and without a response you pulled him down for another kiss, fingers going back to the waistband of his jeans— slipping your hand to palm him through his briefs. 

With a muffled moan Jake broke the kiss, a needy whimper erupting from his throat while rolling his hips into the warmth of your palm. Every squeeze and knead had him flinching and huffing, it was just too easy you watch in awe. After easily slipping his jeans off you took the chance to flip him over, his eyes widening at you hovering over him placing a small peck on his nose.

“You took good care of me so it’s only fair for me to do the same.” You whispered tugging against his briefs and placing open kisses against his neck, with his pride now on full display he sat up cupping your cheek with a hand pulling you into another heated kiss, and you sighed into his mouth finally feeling just how big he was in your palm.

You felt him curse against your lips, pulling back to stick his thumb between your lips with his hand that was against your cheek, watching intently as he felt you whirl your tongue around his thumb.

“Fuck you wanna make me feel good? Get down on your knees.” He lowly demanded. Lowering you to your knees he kept his thumb in your mouth, smirking lightly as you nodded letting go of his thumb with a pop and hazy eyes taking in his cock fully in your hand. Jake was about to burst, your soft warm palm stroking him slightly was enough to cum but he needed more— he needed to see you absolutely cry from the taste of him.

“Open.” he lowly cooed leaning back on one hand while the other gathered the hair away from your face, wanting to see how you were placing kisses against him, a shallow sigh could be heard from finally feeling your precious soft lips mouthing against his shaft. He was leaking, you could feel it the moment you first began stroking him, covering your palm with his desperation was enough for you to clench your thighs together. With him pulsating against your tongue you gave him a slow wet whirl around his sensitive head, causing him to throw a mumble cursing at the ceiling while gripping your hair even tighter, not caring if you whimpered out of pain or arousal. 

“Fuck Y/N please move—” He groaned feeling you take him fully inside your tightly snug mouth, slowly trying to adjust to his size and the pressure you felt from him pushing you down slightly making you moan. He was eager, eager to hit the back of your throat feeling every inch inside your mouth making sure you understand how crazy you made him. Your slight whimpers and the saliva now pooling at his hilt told him you took a little more than you could handle, you were close but not close enough.

Bobbing your head around him, you grew confident at his whispers of encouragement and praise— something about the way he called you good girl; his good girl made you swell in glee. You could feel his veins on your tongue making sure to trace the ones you felt while hallowing your cheeks, his deep cries were a treat for your effort.

Jake wasn’t going to last any longer, the more you adjusted to his growing cock the faster you went, making sure your hand and lips moved in a way that had him a shaking mess. If he was crazy; he would’ve said the sight of you taking him whole had him drooling as much as you were around him, pooling around your fingers mixing both his precum and your saliva.

His light jerks told you he was close, the grip he had around your hair now gone as he was gripping your covers absolutely fucked out of his mind seeing you look up with tears lining your eyes. 

“Baby fuck you’re doing so good I’m gonna cum.” he choked out, your name endlessly leaving his pretty lips as he felt you hum, vibrating against his cherry red-head clamping your thighs together from your panties sticking to you. Thrusting up into you, his hips jerked, an erotic sequence of whimpers leaving his lips feeling you hallow your cheeks as he came.

Cum shooting against the back of your throat had you whining at the foreign feeling, with a pop off his cock he breathlessly helped you up, watching the satisfied look in your eye as you swallowed the remnants of his pleasure.

“You’re fucking crazy,” he whispered staring at your tear-stained eyes and spit-covered chin, capturing your lips after freeing his that were pulled between his teeth.

“As much as I want to stay your brother is gonna be home soon.” he chuckled, the both of you now flatly lying on your bed in each other’s arms. Looking up with your brows furrowed you glanced at the time wondering how he knew.

“The skate park closes in an hour for daily maintenance,” He smiled kissing your pouted lips before getting dressed. Walking him to the front door you leaned lazily against the frame admiring his messy hair and upturned lips, who would’ve thought you’d come home for summer break biding off your brother’s best friend home with a kiss? 

“I’ll text you when I get home okay? I’ll send you my address later, see you tomorrow baby.” he smiled watching you nod excitedly before pressing a kiss on his cheek, running back inside as he left with a happy smile. 

Over the next few weeks, you and Jake have been secretly meeting behind everyone’s knowledge. When you weren’t at home they assumed you were at Yunjins, and when Jake was over; everyone figured you just grew close to Sunghoon’s friends and to your surprise, he didn’t mind. Sneaky kisses and sweet words were exchanged when he wasn’t looking and the two of you realized you had a lot more in common than you expected bonding over one of your favorite activities— annoying the fuck out of Sunghoon.

Your late noon conversations at his place turned into steamy evenings, the more you were around Jake the more you realized he was everything you ever wanted in a partner and in a friend. Your chemistry and connection were something the both of you couldn’t explain, it was best described as beautifully unexpected. Your heart, body, and mind knew this and so did his.

“Y/N here take this,” Jake whispered passing you a cup as the group sat around the table admiring the lively ambiance of a restaurant nearby campus. Yunjin nudged your side eyeing both you and Jake with a small smirk on her face, okay maybe not everyone, how were you going to hide the hickeys Jake left on your neck from the day before you met up with her for your monthly sleepover? You weren’t sure how this group dinner started, but maybe it was from coming back with Yunjin after the mall and running into the guys before they left for dinner. Thankfully your best friend didn’t fail to mention how the both of you haven’t eaten yet, love her.

“You two are so cute I’m gonna die.” She whispered in your ear, your cheeks flushing slightly as you felt Jake caress your knee from under the table. The smile on your face never left your lips hearing the guys argue about what to order with Yunjin instigating, putting her two cents in before her attention was once to her phone, entertaining who knows what.

“Y/N can’t eat spicy foods though so maybe we shouldn’t—” Sunghoon reasoned looking at the menu, his dark brows furrowed tapping the table with his fingers.

“She can, just nothing with too many pepper flakes,” Jake nonchalantly added, your eyes widening as he continued browsing through the menu. 

“What?” Pausing, your eyes slowly trailed to not only Sunghoon but also Heeseung; who was staring at Jake and then at you. Coughing awkwardly Jake shrugged closing the menu before looking up at the decorative neon lights flustered,

“I mean that’s what…. I can see, you know recently when we like all hang out together, you know— as a group.” He struggled to mumble, shifting in his seat at Sunghoon’s slightly wary brows. Yunjin snickered earning a confused glare from Jay which she just shook off. Before Sunghoon could say anything else, you saw the way his eyes caught something behind you by the entrance.

“He has a lot of fucking nerve showing up here.” Heeseung’s usual playful grin was now gone as he leaned back in his chair staring behind you. Confused you watched Yunjin glancing as well; her expression dropping the moment you asked her what happened. 

“Y/N! It’s been a long time.” You felt your stomach drop as the footsteps drew closer, the past bruises and fear ghosting against your skin like a dark awakening you never wished for. If they say you don’t remember your nightmares nor do you dream about them twice— but why were you seeing yours again after so long? Jake curiously watched as a man began walking toward your table with his friends lingering by the entrance, their unsure expressions not matching his at all, his unusual wide smile making Jake raise a brow.

Your frozen stare and clenched fists had Jake wondering who the hell was this to get such a reaction from everyone. Your brow knitted seeing how the man barely looked at anyone else aside from you, the moment his hand came to reach for yours caused you to flinch away and for Sunghoon to shoot up from his seat immediately. 

“What is this? I don’t appreciate the cold welcoming after so long.” He scoffed, trailing his eyes down your figure that had Jake clenching his jaw realizing who exactly it was. 

Beomho. 

“Do I have to fuck you up again for you understand that you should never show your face around me?” Sunghoon threatened walking around the table as Jay quickly stood in between the two. Beomho snickered glancing between Jay who he’s never seen before and Sunghoon who was beginning to fume from how nonchalantly he was responding to everything, he was the reason why Sunghoon blamed himself for what happened, he was the reason why you were now in your seat; absolutely terrified of the man before you.

“Again? You never did that—” 

“Do you not remember Heeseung tackling Sunghoon to the ground to get him off you? You almost died you son of a bitch.” Yunjin interjected, anger lacing her words as she looked up at the obviously agitated man rolling his jaw at her statement. Heeseung snickered which must have triggered something in Beomho because his gaze shifted to look at you. Finally, after so long you met his eyes that used to fool you every day. When his lips said loving words but his eyes pooled with rage.

You couldn’t believe you never noticed it in the moment back then, he liked to hurt people— he liked to hurt you. Even after all this time his eyes always found their way to you, the anger that blazed through them showed you one thing, he’ll never change; he didn't. And you believed eyes never lie.

“Whatever I’m here for Y/N come on let's go I have something to say to you—” You yelped feeling him grab your wrist bringing you up from your chair, alarming the tables around when Sunghoon cursed at him loudly bringing a fist up in the air in the process. You watched with wide eyes as Beomho fell to the ground, gripping his jaw as his friends came to help him up, you weren’t surprised he got punched, he deserved it. What you were surprised by was the fact Jake was hovering over him, grabbing his collar to throw another punch before Sunghoon peeled him off the pleading loser underneath him.

“You must be fucked in the head if you think I’m going to let you touch her one more time you sick freak.” Jake sneered ignoring Sunghoon’s booming voice in his ear telling him to calm down. Shrugging Sunghoon’s hold off him, Jake glanced at his best friend who was looking at him with a conflicted expression, he knew how important it was to keep your relationship from Sunghoon but seeing you go through all these emotions in a matter of seconds had him furious; especially by Beomho. 

“You okay baby?” He asked you softly caressing your cheek, watching you blink at Beomho’s retreating figure with a small nod. Heeseung was obviously taken aback by the nickname, his eyes wide looking Yunjin’s wide grin before patting his shoulder, rolling her eyes at Jay who muttered about being right about god knows what.

“I can’t believe we got kicked out, I wanted to eat fuck!” Jay exclaimed, watching as Yunjin scoffed standing next to Sunghoon who was just staring at you and Jake quietly. Shifting awkwardly you looked anywhere else but at your brother, hoping that maybe a fucking brick would fly out of a window and hit him in the right place that’ll wipe his memory of the past hour. Jake wrapped his arm around you, looking into your eyes slightly seeing your nervous expression. 

“He’s gone don’t worry about him I’m here now.” As sweet as Jake was in the moment that wasn’t who you were worried about at the moment. Tugging his flannel your eyes shifted to Sunghoon who was staring at the arm that was wrapped around you before trailing to Heeseung who came over to the two of you. 

“I knew there was something going on, you know I thought I was just seeing shit but I guess I really did see you kissing Jake in the driveway that one time.” Heeseung smiled, genuinely happy to see the two of you together. His smile dropped seeing Sunghoon pass by his peripheral, grabbing Jake by the collar with both of his hands, prompting the boy to drop his arm from your shoulder before looking directly into Sunghoon’s piercing gaze. Jay and Heeseung alarmed tried to pull Sunghoon away from Jake, but that only encouraged the man to land a straight hook into his lower jaw. 

“Sunghoon! We’re in public at least wait to do this at home?” Yunjin exclaimed watching you help Jake who stumbled back touching his lip now busted with a cut. 

“Okay maybe I deserved that,” Jake whispered to himself, cursing slightly after noting the slight blood on his thumb before reassuring you that he was okay. Absolutely furious you walked over to Sunghoon slamming your palm against his shoulder while staring into his blank eyes. 

“What is wrong with you? Did you think that was going to change the fact I like Jake and he likes me too? Sunghoon I already told you what happened with Beomho wasn’t your fault, you don’t have to feel responsible for every minuscule thing in my life!” You exclaimed, watching him process your words as Heeseung muttered to him about you being right.

“I’m fine now Sunghoon, Beomho was just a bad apple in the batch that no one saw coming. If I don’t blame myself for what happened then you shouldn’t either.” You softly plead looking at him glance between you and Jake who was quietly standing not that far behind you touching his lip. 

“Let’s go home.” he blankly stated, turning on his heels as everyone followed suit. 

“Call me when you get home okay?” You plead, wincing at the small cut on his pretty bottom lip with a frown. Jake smiled softly pulling you into a hug placing a peck on your crown nodding his cheek into your hair. 

“I will baby go in first.” reluctantly you closed the front door not knowing where the hell Sunghoon ran off too after returning home. The car ride was awkward to say the least, even with Heeseung trying to make conversation Sunghoon sat there silently while you and Jake sat together in the back, content that you two no longer had to hide the fact you were together now. 

Walking down the driveway Jake paused noting a figure leaning against a car. 

“Listen bro I wanted to tell you really, we both did but—”

“Can you just shut up and get in the car.” Sunghoon snapped opening the driver's door waiting for Jake to get in the passenger side. It was silent, the hollow sound of the summer breeze hitting the windows and the jingle of his keys made him shifty, Jake didn’t know what to say. 

“Hoon I really like Y/N, I know it’s gonna take a lot of work with her and to gain your trust, but I’m gonna try my best to make sure you don’t have to worry about her anymore.” Jake softly spoke, being genuine about what he was saying and not wanting Sunghoon to attack him in the car. Sunghoon sighed, gripping his hand on the stirring wheel while turning to look at his best friend.

“Okay.” Jake snapped his eyes to look Sunghoon in the eye, his face was no longer unreadable nor were his eyes upset, Sunghoon was content.

You’ve always told him those exact words before, but something about it felt different this time. Maybe it was just finally hitting him, your words that rang through his memory over time. 

Or maybe it was the way Jake beat him at knocking Beomho to the floor; sharing the same anger he felt for so long, maybe the soft gazes that he had caught many times over the past couple of weeks while Jake watched you doing anything; talking, eating, thinking— Sunghoon noticed it. But your small smile while leaning onto Jake with intertwined hands on the way home told him what he needed to know, you were safe and happy with Jake, and that’s all he could wish for.

“I said ok you fucker, I wouldn’t have been friends with you if you were a shitty person you know,” Sunghoon sighed nodding when Jake smiled gratefully despite the cut on his lip. “That’s my sister if you do anything to her I’m gonna kill you and make sure no one finds out about it.” He threatened, causing Jake to laugh catching Sunghoon’s canines peaking out from his smile. 

“I’m sure Yunjin will beat you to it but thanks man.” Jake huffed holding a hand out for Sunghoon to grab. After a few more moments of speaking Sunghoon told him to get out of the car while starting his engine. Jake opened the door while looking at his friend confused with one foot out the door. “I need you to stay with Y/N, Heeseung and Jay kicked a hole through the dorm wall so I need to go help them fix it, those fucking idiots.” he sighed pinching his nose before ushering Jake to get out of his car. 

“Jake?” You asked surprised, opening the door to see a freshly showered boy with a cute smile on his face. You yelped feeling him pull you into a hug which you happily reciprocated. Sitting on your bed you watched him plop down next to you, his grin never leaving his face taking in your slightly damp hair. Motioning for you to lay on him you did, sighing with your cheek pressed against his chest taking in the scent of his shampoo. 

“You know I talked to Sunghoon after I left earlier.” Looking at him surprised you expected him to say that Sunghoon didn’t approve of the both of you, slightly worried before Jake reassured you everything was okay, Sunghoon was okay. Laying together the two of you talked about plans once the semester started and what to do next since you no longer had to lie about where you were going, you noticed it was late. Your bedside lamp was the only thing allowing you to see the small shadows on his face with his eyes closed. Until meeting Jake you only knew of the bad kind of love; the one that hurt and made you constantly feel like love was draining, difficult, and painful. But with him it was different. It was comforting, honest, and genuine. Meant to be some people would say. 

“Jake?” You whispered, hearing him hum before opening his eyes to find your voice. His brown eyes caught your glossy ones as you felt his thumb rubbing your shoulder, “Nothing.” You smiled watching his nose scrunch slightly pulling you into a hug. If you were being honest, you didn’t think falling in love and not realizing it was a thing. But maybe that’s why you felt so happy, so beautiful; not because Jake constantly told you that you were, but because you knew your smile when you were with him was genuine— that’s what made it so beautiful. There were no loud signals in your heart and mind telling you that you finally met someone for you.

No lights over his head with arrows pointing around him telling you he was your favorite person because it didn’t work like that. It’s calmer— in quiet moments like right now that you realize it. Like when you’re sitting beside or across him, feeling his hands hold yours like it was the most comfortable thing in the world and everything inside you feels safe, content that this was the person you adored. Even in the darkest rooms and moments that pass by in life, if they’re by your side everything could be serene and peaceful. Despite the chaos that surrounds you and your thoughts, the noisy background and crowds, time slows and you realize then and there that this is love. 

“I love you.” You muttered into his shirt, realization hitting you that you did, and it was real. You weren’t expecting him to hear you but seeing his eyes peer into yours moments later, his thumb rubbing circles on your cheeks as he muttered the same affectionate words back. Shyly pecking his lips you hid your face into his chest again, his chuckle ringing through your ears as he was asking you to look at him giddily. 

A soft peck turned into two and you felt him wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss was passionate, different from the one you shared the first night you met, even the second. Pulling away your thumb touched the bridge of his nose that you’ve always admired, “You’re so pretty Jake,” You muttered causing him to chuckle before rolling you over, taking in the sight of your hair sprawled out under you like a beautiful painting he wanted to remember forever. Coming down for another kiss he paused before your lips met, smirking at your eyes closing on their own in anticipation. 

“I’m usually the one saying that to you Y/N, look at you,” you whispered placing open kisses against your neck, palming your skin under your shirt leaving you absolutely breathless. Tugging on his shirt his eyes grew seeing how needy you were being— and he loved it. Tossing his shirt to the side you admired his tone frame you’ve seen many times before; but this time felt so different, his warm gaze turned lustful as he noted your eyes trailing down his abdomen. Pulling you up to discard yours, Jake pressed soft kisses around your face hearing you exhale laying back down with his hands cupping your chest. “Jake please—” You choked feeling him drag his fingers past the waistband of your shorts, pressing wet kisses on your hard nipples while humming in response.

“Come on baby tell me what you want,” his honey voice sent tingles up your core, feeling his tongue around your collarbones you sighed feeling embarrassed for being so needy, your thighs clamping tight and your hands gripping his arm— you wanted more, you wanted him. Jake snickered feeling you push him further down your chest as his tongue left a wet trail down the center stopping at the waistband of your shorts and pulling them off. 

“I need to hear you say it Y/N, be a good girl and say what you want.” 

Closing your eyes tightly, you bit your lip out of pure disgrace noting the way you were bucking your hips against his thigh not seeing the coy smirk admiring the small patch forming on your panties. The tent of his sweatpants grew as he watched your desperate search for any friction, you were absolutely beautiful.

“I want you Jake please, I need to feel you.” reaching out to him you sighed into the kiss feeling him quickly discard your panties and the familiar touch of fingers caressing your wetness had you arching slightly. Your gasp melts into moans as you he latched onto your nipple, hips raising off the sheets as he slipped his fingers inside you, his eyes glued on your expression changing with each lick of his tongue and curl of his fingers.

He was fucking teasing you, despite your whines and rolling hips Jake kept his touch soft and restricted; the only movement being his thumb rubbing your nub watching you pool in his palm after leaving your nipples raw from stimulation. Your annoyed huff had him chuckling in defeat, it was just too fun teasing you. Nipping at the skin on your inner thigh you felt his hot breath against your core, absolutely frustrated knowing you were a leaking mess and he was having fun seeing it all unfold.

“You're being so cute today being all needy should I give you a reward, hmm?” Nodding eagerly you groaned feeling his pretty lips meeting your folds, a warm wet lick up your core had you gripping the sheets. 

“Fuck Jake,” you sighed feeling him focus on your nub before pushing another finger inside, your grip finding his dark locks as he moaned into your cunt sending vibrations up your spine. Your hopeless attempt to anchor the last bit of sanity left your body as you felt him speeding up, if there was one thing you could count on was that Jake was going to eat you out like a fucking champ. Feeling your walls slowly tightening, Jake stopped, removing his fingers much to your detest. 

“Get up,” you heard him lowly hiss, his fingers drenched as he brought them to your lips pushing past your raw flesh feeling you suck on his fingers, your voice breaking tasting yourself and the loss of stimulation below. Cursing under his breath Jake pulled his fingers out, crashing his lips on yours as his tongue explored the taste of you on your tongue. You just tasted so good to him if he could he’d eat you out all day.

While sharing the lustful kiss Jake felt you sneak your fingers through his sweatpants and past his briefs, pumping him a few times as he scooped you up; switching so you were now on top of him with your hand still in his sweats. Your flushed cheeks with spit dripping down your chin and chest had him twitching– and you felt it. Quickly discarding his clothes you hovered over him, staring at the red flesh as your mouth watered at the sight of him leaking. 

“Come on Jake, tell me what you want,” you mocked him, seeing something swirl in his eyes before his brow rose lifting himself up. You winced feeling him grab your nape pulling you towards him as he snickered, “You’re being really bad today you know that?” He whispered pressing open mouth kisses against your chin and guiding you off the bed slowly. Your gaze never left his as you slowly slide off of him, 

“So why don’t you be a good girl,” you whine as his grip tightened, “And make me feel good too yeah?” he hissed, huffing at the way you were looking up at him through your lashes with a small nod. Starting with small licks you heard him call your name, knowing you were testing his patience feeling the way he was angrily pulsating against your palm. Licking a long stripe up his side you heard him curse the moment you wrapped your lips around him, your tongue working magic around his tip as you could taste his precum after you felt him hitting the back of your throat. An erupt of moans left him as he took a fistful of your hair watching you pump him while bobbing your head at a slow pace. 

“Y/N stop–” you heard him say, his hips jerking forward slightly as your free hand palmed his thigh, hallowing your cheeks was enough for him to pull you off of him with a pop, his hand cupping your cheek taking in your tear lining eyes and swollen lips.

“You’re so good for me you know that? So good and so pretty,” he praised causing you to squeeze with a nod. Getting on the bed with him you watched him hazily look around searching for a condom, “Don’t, I want to feel you Jake.” You whispered softly pulling him back to the bed laying against the sheets, feeling him slip a hand under your back while the other wrapped around your thigh positioning you against him; his tip toying with your folds taking in the sight of your essence covering him completely.

Kissing you on the forehead he whispered a hush ‘I love you’ distracting you from the fact he was partly in, your sigh turning into a quiet moan when you feel him completely in you. Sitting back up Jake huffed feeling your walls adjusting around him, this felt so different from before; mainly because it was raw but also because this time he was able to tell you what he wanted to tell you before, I love you— he was making love to you. 

Letting out a small whine you felt him pulling out halfway before sinking to his hilt once again, his warm gaze on you made you feel loved as his sweet words passed through your ear feeling him pick up to a steady speed.

“Y/N fuck- you feel so tight it feels so good,” you heard him say before plopping on top of you. Nipping at the space between your neck and shoulder you felt him thrusting into you rougher; your words dying in your thoughts as your moans synced with his. His groans grow deep feeling you run your fingers along his back, cries echoing through his ear making him want to do more— feel more.

Lifting himself off you again he watched you gaze at him with both love and lust and something warm settled within him, the hand that was gripping your thigh slowly slid up your chest causing you to sigh before you felt him rest his palm applying the slightest pressure against your neck, making you whine in pleasure.

“So—so good for me, my pretty girl,” he praised picking up in speed as you gripped his wrist with both of your hands, it was too much. His cunning praises and the feeling of being so full were clouding your thoughts. 

“You’re my pretty girl right?” He asked looking at the way your eyes were closed not comprehending anything he was saying, absolutely getting fucked out of your mind as the sound of skin on skin could be heard throughout the room.

“Come on Y/N I know you can answer me, be a good girl and answer me—” he smirked slightly watching you nod as you whimpered out the only words that could form in the moment,

 “Yes Jake I’m yours all yours fuck I–” you choked feeling his grip on your neck release before gripping your hips again, the sudden change in position and pace had you clenching around him, your walls slowly closing in making him sigh in frustration at how tight you still were.

"You’re taking me so well baby fuck.” he hissed as he felt his eyes rolling from pure ecstasy. You couldn’t help but clench down on him again, his praising and the snapping of his hips against yours had you a moaning mess, heat spreading through your body as you felt him press a palm against your abdomen feeling himself fuck you senseless as you savored the new sensation. 

Your head was spinning as pressure building up in your stomach was pushing you over the limit, his speed wasn’t slowing down at all; if anything he thrusting into you faster, feeling your walls pulsating he knew you were at your limit and he was gonna make sure you finished knowing you weren’t going to reach this high with anyone else. 

You let out an array of croaked moans feeling him bring a thumb up to your nub watching you squirm at the overstimulation you were feeling from both his cock and thumb.

“Jake I’m so close please keep going,” you told him breathlessly running a hand along his chest as you felt the slick sheen of sweat trailing down his toned stomach barely able to keep your eyes open. 

“Come on baby cum for me, cum all over me.” He knew his was coming as well, wanting to make sure you reached your high first he picked up in speed. His naming leaving your lips like a mantra feeling him spit on your cunt as a string of moans left your lips finally hitting euphoria. Convulsing around him Jake lowly grunted one last push, filling you to the brim as he felt you clenching around him one last time.

Warmth flooded around him as he slowed his hips a few more seconds before exhaustion became too much as he finally pulls out of you, plopping down beside your overly exerted figure with a sigh. Closing your eyes for a few minutes you caught your breath, feeling him leaking out of you onto the sheets you smiled softly; you were his. 

Feeling Jake slip off the bed you didn’t even have the energy to ask where the hell he was going, but the sudden sensation of warmth on your core jerked your eyes open— only to see him carefully cleaning you up with his sweats sitting low on his hips. Seeing that you were indeed awake and not passed out from getting fucked out of your mind, Jake smiled helping you into the shirt you wore earlier before cleaning your sheets and jumping to join you in bed. Your head rested softly against his chest hearing his beating heart as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. 

“I love you,” you heard him say again, a small giggle leaving your lips looking up at him, “You’ve been saying that a lot tonight.” You grinned, watching as a coy smile made its way to his lips with a shrug. 

“I know I just want to make sure heard me the first time, you know when I was fuck—” 

“Jake! Get out.” You exclaimed slapping his chest, shifting to the other side of the bed while you felt heat creeping onto your cheeks knowing that you indeed heard him the first time. He whined burring his face into the crook of your neck as you struggled to keep a straight face, that failed the moment you felt him pecking soft kisses against your shoulder mumbling sweet praises as you turned to face him. 

You didn’t know what it was about Jake that made you two click so well. Maybe it was the way when the two of you talked no one else in the room mattered, or how he made you smile more than you’ve ever had before. His understanding nature knowing the right thing to say at the right time, to the way his eyes shined with stars talking about the people he cared about and what he loved. All you knew was it meant everything to you, he meant everything to you.

With an unknown future you weren’t sure if he was here to stay—- but regardless you were happy, happy because the universe allowed Jake to stop by your empty life, your best mistake.

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GOLDEN HOUR (M)

PAIRING | mean dom!mark x reader ft. hyuck (briefly)

SYNOPSIS | the kitchen isn't for cooking, didn't you know?

WC | 1.8k

WARNINGS | oral fem receiving, cocky!mark, jealous!mark, some golden hour inspired dialogue, kitchen sex (a bit)

A.N | i haven't posted anything in a while but after the concert (and the release of his song) i needed to write about him <3 send feedback, and enjoy

the kitchen counter digs into the skin of your back but you don't even notice. all your thoughts are directed to the lips suckling your clit. hands push at your legs, grabbing and pulling the soft flesh apart so he can taste more of you.

"m-mark, fuck. thats- that's good, just like that."

from on his knees, your boyfriend looks up at you, tongue still swirling around your clit. he hums something sweet and the vibrations send you into a frenzy.

clutching the back of his head, you thread your fingers in his long, black hair and tug him closer. he can't go anywhere so really you just end up rocking your hips into his jaw.

he doesn't mind because fuck, you taste so good. so fucking good, and it's all his - you're all his. no one else can have you. not even that boy haechan. the one who's always trying to hang out with you. the one that's currently on his way over to you and marks shared apartment.

the food you were cooking for the three of you is left on the stove, all but forgotten thanks to your boyfriend.

you didn't even have time to greet him when he opened the front door. he immediately made a beeline for you after dropping his bags on the kitchen table.

sweet lips attached themselves to your neck, dark bruises blooming in their wake. his hands were urgent, needy - desperately pulling at the large sweater covering your frame from his greedy eyes.

"let me taste you." he had asked, dropping to his knees and pressing his fingers to your panties.

you had dropped the spoon back into the pot of spaghetti sauce, "right here?"

his eyes never left yours, not even when he hooked his fingers into the waistband and began to pull the lace down your thighs, "right here."

now you were all but clambering up on top of the marble countertops, trying to squirm away from your boyfriends prodding tongue.

"stop moving." he mumbles, fingers pressing bruises into your hips to keep you in place. "unless you want me to stop."

"n-no don't stop. mark, if you stop i swear to god i'll-"

he pinches the inside of your thigh which makes you yelp in surprise, "you'll what baby?"

sitting back on his heels, he moves his hand to replace his tongue and draws small, agonizing circles with him thumb over your folds - just barely brushing your clit.

"if i stop eating this pretty pussy, i'm just gonna bend you over and fuck you on the counter."

two fingers dip into you, and involuntarily you clench around them.

"you'd like that huh?"

the question has a deep blush rushing up your spine, and you nod your head slowly - too focused on the way his breath is slowly ghosting over the skin of your belly now that he's leaned forward.

his fingers continue to pump in and out of you, and all the sensations were leaving you with a euphoric head high.

"yeah i bet you would baby." sharp teeth nip at the skin below your navel. "but what about your little friend that's coming over?"

your fingers dig into the marble so hard you're afraid you'll break it. "who? h-hyuck?"

"yeah-" he spits, "hyuck."

his fingers move faster now, building the tension that was lingering in your belly. again, his tongue darts out to lick at your exposed clit - though unsatisfied with the angle, mark grabs one of your legs and slings it over his shoulder.

now you were supporting your weight with one leg on the ground and both your hands gripping the countertops. despite the fear of falling, the action has you whimpering for your boyfriend.

"what would he say if we fucked on the very table he's about to eat on?" you can't even focus on his words, too caught up in the sensation of being split open on his thick fingers.

his hair is matted on his forehead when you look down at him. "why would we -"

mark pulls back, "it can be our little secret baby. he doesn't have to know - or maybe he does."

"mark-" you whine, wanting his lips back between your legs.

"cum for me first and then we'll talk about it." rhythmically, his fingers drive into you. "or i'll talk - i don't know, your mouth might be full." a satisfied hum leaves his lips when your head tilts back in ecstasy, "my turn first though."

and then he's back to suckling on the sensitive bundle of nerves. tongue swirling and licking and lapping at the arousal that leaks onto his hand and down his wrist.

you were so wet for him - so fucking perfect. and he ate it up like a starved man.

soon enough the incessant lapping of marks tongue, and his taunting words - "this sweet pussy is all mine yeah?" "don't want me to stop? fucking cum on my fingers then." has your body locking and doing just what he wants you to.

you ride out your high by grinding against his face, and he took it all. he loved watching you enjoy yourself. it meant he was doing his job right.

"felt good?" he murmurs as he gets up off the wooden floor.

you nod dizzily and fall into his embrace once both your feet were on the floor. who knew he could make you this weak?

"aw baby, don't tell me your done yet! we're just getting started." he frowns, circling his arms around your waist and pulling you flush again his body. something pokes at your stomach.

" i think you got a bit of a problem." you point out.

he smirks, lips attaching themselves to yours, before pulling back, "a really big problem." your eyes lock, his still clouded with lust, "you can help me solve it if you bend over the counter like we talked about."

"but babyy" you drawl, "hyucks gonna be here any minute."

mark grits his teeth and pokes the inside of his cheek before fluidly spinning you around and pressing your hips into the counter opposite of the one you were up on earlier. the bulge in his pants presses against the swell of your ass and somehow you end up arching back into him.

"i really don't give a fuck about that guy." the growl rips from his throat so low you almost miss it. "and you shouldn't even be thinking about him." he sighs almost comically, "i guess i didn't eat this pretty pussy good enough."

his fingers dip between your legs again to swirl around your swollen, overly sensitive clit.

"yes- you did." you whimper, legs shaking.

"then why is another man in your head, hm?"

mark didn't show his jealous side much, but when he did, you knew the next day you weren't walking anywhere. just from the snip in his voice, you knew tomorrow was going to be one of those days.

the sound of fumbling can heard from behind you and soon enough the blunt head of marks 'problem' is pressing up between your folds.

'maybe i should fuck the thought of him away - you think that would fix it?"

one of his hands snakes up your spine and grabs the back of your neck. out of the corner of your eye, you watch his bicep flex when he pushes you down flat against the cool marble. your nipples are stiff peaks against the glossed rock and it makes you shiver.

mark knocks your knees apart and pushes his cock into you; slowly at first. he needed you to feel the stretch - feel how big he really was - feel how hard you made him.

pfft. and you were thinking about another man.

"you think he can make you feel like this?" helplessly, you let mark rock his hips into you. erratic moans pour from your parted lips, "oh i know baby, i know it feels good. just take it okay? i know you can pretty girl. take it just like you did when i was devouring this pretty pussy." the lewd words dripping off his lips like honey leaves you spasming around him and scrambling on your tip toes. "ah, you liked that huh?" you go to shake your head but he tsks at you, "don't deny it now baby, your body gave you away."

"mark, f-faster please. i need you to go -"

"faster, i know baby. i'll fuck you real good in just a second. wanna get adjusted first."

from over his shoulder mark takes note of the time.

seven twenty eight.

"say, what time was your little friend supposed to show up?"

you can barely register his words, but through a dreamy, cloudy voice, you whimper out, "seven thirty."

like a string of fate, a knock sounds at the door. both you and mark jolt and look towards the white wood.

"punctual. of course he's punctual." mark seethes. "what do you say we give him a show? let him see just how much you truly care about him when i'm the one fucking you."

the idea is appealing, so appealing in fact that your body betrays you again. a gush of arousal floods around marks cock, making his shallow thrusts slippery.

"why are you being so-"

"because he can't have you. and i can't have him thinking he can."

another knock sounds and your phone laying just out of arms reach lights up with a text message from haechan.

"and you know what baby?" the question is saturated with a cockiness you've never heard from mark before.

you whimper, his hand snaking between your legs and flicking your puffy clit. "what?"

"i didn't lock the door." you gasp when he pinches the bundle of nerves, "so i think i'll just invite our little guest in, yeah?"

"yeah?" you breathe, dazed and fucked out and pliant.

"yeah." he solidifies it and reaches for the hem of his shirt. ripping it over his head, he flexes his biceps - some form of male competition forcing him to show off his girl and his muscles.

"okay baby, get ready to put on a show."

you nod, choosing to focus on the driving force between your legs instead of his words that ring out into the apartment air.

"It's unlocked! you can come in!"

tentatively, the handle turns and pushes open. a young man mark can only assume is haechan steps through the threshold. his doe eyes go wide when he takes in the scene before him.

"nice to meet you. i'm mark, the boyfriend. dinner might need to be postponed a bit."

a/n | did you like it? if you did, consider leaving me a like, a reblog, a review, or some feedback in my askbox :)

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