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No Kisses | KTH (Series)

Pairing: Captain of the Football Team fuckboi Taehyung x Class President goody two shoes Reader

Genre: FWB AU-ish, enemies to frienemies? with benefits to lovers, smut, fluff, angst?? I guess

Summary: It's championship week! The most anticipated week of the school year; however, leading up to the events, you and your council must collaborate with the football team to promote school spirit and pride. Unfortunately, you're forced to work with your number one enemy, Football team captain and fuck boy, Kim Taehyung, known for having a mysterious "no kisses" rule.

Warning: AIGHT LETS GO Dom Taehyung/Sub Reader, semi Switch Taehyung/Switch Reader, big-dick Tae (like super huge), virgin reader, first time sex, dry humping, orgasm denial, fingering, exhibition (semi-public~ poor school areas), oral (m and f receiving), GALLONS of squirting, corruption/innocent kink, sir/daddy kink LMAOOOO, A LOT of dirty talk (tae tae has a filthy mouth), praising, pet names, degradation, blindfold (brief), rope bunny/rigor, multiple sex scenes??? (insanely a lot for someone who doesn't write smut and it's been a while), light anal play, possessive/jealous tae, multiple orgasms, multiple sex scenes, overstimulation, unprotected sex (like all the time but be sure to wrap it up bc this is a fanfic not real life), cream pies, there's also alcohol consumption, ditzy/ahegao reader (gets dicknotized but in a good way), tae being an asshole flirt but in a good way kinda, smol revenge, they're idiots who have been pining but they have a shit way of expressing it

Word count: 56.8k :D

A/N: I like to point out that this was intended to be a one-shot WGEGHIWEHGI but things happened. I divided them into chapters to make it easier but yeah, I like to consider it as a one-shot. It took me months writing and editing this. I was on the verge of cracking. But next time, it's not gonna be this extensive. Okay bye. Enjoy!

I've also cross-posted this originally on AO3 as well! Enjoy~~~

Chapter List

I: Captain vs. President

II: Let Me Remind You

III: Uncalled Punishment

IV: Agreements

V: Hush, Hush, Okay?

VI: Boo Found Her Kitty

VII: Let's Confess!??

VIII: Idiots at the Pre-Party

IX: Kiss and Make Up

Epilogue: No Kisses

All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae 2022 (｡●́‿●̀｡)

Please Teach Me? | JJK

Pairing: Frat President Jungkook x Succubus Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff??, Comedy (enjoy my annoying humor)

Summary: You’re a succubus who doesn’t know a thing or two on luring men, and it doesn’t help that your first task in training is to get the most egotistical fuck boy in the human realm in bed, Beta Tau Sigma president Jeon Jungkook.

Warning: Uhhh where do I start? We’re going on an adventure! Seokjin is the best :D, Second hand embarrassment from our dear OC, OC is kinda ditz but smart at the same time???, also forgets she’s a demon and is confused 999.6969% of the time, Dom Sadist Jungkook (he’s so mean in a good way)/ Masochist Succubus Reader, sir kink, size kink (OC is fun size and a rag doll), dirty talk, degrading/threats lol not really, praising, her wings and tail are sensitive ;-), multiple orgasms (too many to count haha), oral (m and f receiving), tail sucking?? LOL, fingering, wing/tail play hahahah, face slapping, pussy slapping, ass slapping, spitting djdjdjdj, dumbification, unprotected sex (she’s literally a succubus, and you’re not so be safe), creampies

Word count: 18.1k

A/N: I wanna say pwp but there was a plot lol I’m not good with that. I also suck because this one-shot was TOO LONG WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME GHEROGHEOGE why the fuck did I make the smut so long ;-; also I guess this could be part of Halloween LOL

I've also cross-posted this originally on AO3 as well! Enjoy~~~

This was complete and utter bullshit.

There was no way this was supposed to be your first assigned task. Don’t the highers have pity on you?

Well, no, not really. They don’t show as many emotions as you did, yet they were relieved you even made it somewhere in the training program. But this was an outrage for you as you scanned the file sent to your dorm.

Your burgundy wings fluttered furiously while your matching-colored tail stayed straight up due to how uncomfortable you were. You scratched your head in frustration and even accidentally hitting your little horns before letting out a loud whine. You pushed through your dorm room and flew straight to your mentor with the same file that affected your being.

Some of your cohorts watched you and your high-pitched cries, being the famous failure who finally obtained her first assignment after like, what, five years?

Let’s get one thing straight—you were a succubus…in training. 

Okay, so before a succubus goes out to the realms and devours men through sexual activities on their own, they must train and understand the ways of the succubi. Succubi must learn how to lure and attract men, use their bodies in a way that is ultimately captivating to anyone of the eye, and be confident in the art of how the demons perform. During the training process, succubi take exams and complete tasks, and each has their own mentor that passes them or not. It’s kind of like school where grades don’t matter, and if you complete it well, you pass. If you don’t pass, you must repeat the same task on another subject.

In typical folklore, succubi performed sexual activities while men slept. But through training, it eases the demons into this last task until they are full-fledged succubus ready to destroy mankind.

You, unfortunately, knew nothing about anything, really. You weren’t the best learner as is. You also can’t comprehend that well until someone, i.e., your mentor, yelled at you. Throwing the profession you have for eternity, it may be a little challenging to get by. You already failed an exam or three, and you burned half of your mentor all because you simply couldn’t learn how to attract and lure men into bed. 

Luckily, your mentor decided to give you some practice rounds to fully comprehend the works and information. But every round, he’d comment on how rather than turning men on, you’ll leave them immensely uncomfortable or left with a burn.

You were held back, as the standard training for succubi was at least a year and a half, depending on how determined you were. Most of the demons you started with completed training ages ago, leaving you behind. While they’re out and about 69-ing men snoring their dicks off, you were busy trying to pass the pre-exam before going into the field.

Lo and behold, you finally passed and couldn’t be happier. You wanted to be a good succubus and prove to the highers and your mentor that you are worthy of being a sex demon. 

But how can you when you are assigned a difficult task for the first time?

“Seokjin!” You burst into your mentor’s office with teary eyes and a pout like no other. You sniffled as you found him unbothered, standing. His dick was out and hardened as he examined it through his large gold-framed mirror on the wall behind his desk. You couldn’t care about his actions as incubus and succubus were comfortable showing and performing their bodies. You were all sex demons, for fuck’s sake.

“What is it, ___? I’m scrutinizing my cock. By the way, does it look extra curved today?” Seokjin tore his eyes away from his reflection to finally look at his distraught mentee.

“No, it doesn’t! It looks more pointed and the trunk looks like it gained another ripple, but that’s not why I’m here!” You sobbed out in anger as you flew to slam the file on the surface of his desk. “Explain!”

Seokjin rolled his eyes before tucking himself back into his pants. He grabbed the file and flaunted it in front of your stressed face. “Ugh, ___…”

“Why would you give me this? I can’t do this task! It’s way too hard!”

“You’re not letting me speak and—”

“I barely passed my exam. You, of all demons, should know my performance is not as excelled and up to par to face this subject.“ You didn’t even let him explain, and you went on with your rant as you were hovering all over his space. “And—”

“Yes, emphasis on barely but you still passed with a 69%, which by the way, I would give you some extra credit if you did it on purpose but you didn’t so…” He cuts you off to clarify your argument. “Just be glad you don’t need to take that exam again after your fourth time!”

“Hey, it was number five. If you’re my mentor, at least remember the stats.” You corrected him as you wiped the tears off your face. You stuck out your tongue at him, making him do the same. “But my first task can’t be this one! It’s way too hard. Why can’t I get someone easier, like a gamer or a sweet and caring one? Why the fuck does this have to be this one? “

Your mentor pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled exhaustingly. He assumed you were going to comply with his decision. Still, alas, you weren’t because you always bitched and whined about everything he did. It made sense because everything was out of your comfort zone, and he knew. “Your choices were limited since everyone else in your year already completed theirs years ago.” He explained, though knowing you won’t fully grasp that, he added, “It was either this one or a heinous wicked bastard who mistreats women, which I still don’t understand why they give first years that option. You could get hurt, and Lilith should deal with him.”

For some reason, your bothered appearance became relaxed yet shifted into a more shy demeanor. Eventually, you gently landed on your feet, resting your wings and tail. You raised your head to face him. He was much taller and bigger than you, and so was everyone else. “B-but, I can’t. I’ll—“

“No, shh. Don’t say you’ll fuck up. Have faith—wait, have hope in yourself.” He pinched your horns lightly, helping you alleviate your frantic self. He knew you weren’t as confident in your ability. Hell, you even confided in him after your second failed exam, talking about how you felt you were lacking sex appeal, any attractiveness, your features, and your short stature that was well below average than any demon living. You even flashed your breasts at him as you complained they weren’t as big.

Seokjin never saw a succubus like you. You were the complete opposite to all things of your kind. Without your sharp horns, bat-like wings, and slithering dark tail with the end tip shaped like a heart, you could be mistaken as an angel. It was confusing and left him uncomfortable at times. But nevertheless, you were still a succubus.

“There’s a reason why the Seokjin, well-known incubus across the realms who is handsome, stunning, intelligent, funny, handsome, creative, extraordinary, handsome…did I say handsome?”

“Get on with your poorly executed speech.”

“There’s a reason why I’m your mentor.”

“Yeah, you were forced to after like three repeals.”

“Well, yes. But after I forced myself to get to know you, I realized you have much potential as a succubus, more than any demon I met. You’re absolutely gorgeous—almost as gorgeous as me—you’re also one of the most kind succubus I know and you’re very authentic.”

“Aww, thanks Jin. I appreciate you.”

“Of course, you’re still a bit of an airhead and awkward. You are wayyyy too obvious when you fuck up—“

“I take it back.” You spoke out.

“The point is you can do it. It’s literally what you are. This training is just prep for you despite all the technical things.” He reassured me and passed back the file to you. “After this, you can do whatever the hell you want.”

Though you were a bit at ease, you were still unconfident. “But how will I—”

“Remember what I said. “

“Your breasts aren’t what defines you? Every guy is obsessed with any titty?”

Your mentor raised his eyebrow, questioning why you remembered that so vividly. You merely blinked, waiting for his response. “Well, yes? But in this context, not that. Remember what your motto should be.”

“Men are simple-minded and easy?”

“Exactly.”

-

Your task was simple: you needed to get your subject in bed and fuck him. But what made it difficult was the subject himself, because he was a man—a human man. And you were a bit afraid of them. You heard some stuff from other demons saying how unhinged they were to the point where there were many instances that succubi got hurt and poorly bruised despite the supernatural strength demons conveyed.

Anyways, your subject goes by the name Jeon Jungkook. He was a fraternity president of Beta Tau Sigma, and through your findings, he was known to be a “fuck boy?”—whatever that was. He slept with many counterparts in college and broke hearts along the way. He excelled in academics and also came from a pretty well-off family. He was also in sports, soccer, and baseball.

That was it from the file because Seokjin redacted the rest by burning it away, including his personality, type, and interests. He did it as “a learning curve” for you to get more experience on your first task. You were about to bitch, but he interrupted you, saying you’ll have a little trip away from the demon realm.

You were still going to complain, but again, he reassured me that communication between you two would still be here.

There were photos of this Jeon Jungkook. He looked like someone who hurt you physically, emotionally, and mentally. Nonetheless, he was pretty attractive and appealing to your demon eyes. His body was muscular and ripped from his neck to his Achilles tendons. There was one of him shirtless and fucking hell, many dents and veins popping out, especially within his arms and hands. Speaking of his arms, his right one was fully decorated with tattoos. He had multiple piercings on his ears and a lip ring on his face.

Seokjin was kind enough to show you subtler pictures of him smiling and laughing which was actually cute to you. It relieved your nervousness in this task. This man was a real piece of work, yet you still knew nothing about him because you had to work for it, and you had no idea how to start—thanks, Seokjin…

Though you needed heavy guidance, you refused to ask your mentor; otherwise, he’d force you to say a statement that was not wholly true before assisting you.

So here you were: Posing as a student in the human realm on the university campus. You hid your wings and tail to look the part, which was unbearable because they were sealed inside your skin and cramped up. You wore a yellow sundress with a pair of cute little block heels while carrying a beige backpack around your surroundings.

People were on the grass in groups sleeping, studying, or talking amongst themselves, others were walking to get to classes, and some were rowdy and playing. You assumed this is typical human behavior, more so college students.

You felt out of place—no shit—this was definitely new territory you’re on. At the very least, you knew how to get around quickly, but that didn’t mean it’d be socially acceptable.

Your electronic device, which was called a phone, buzzed in your dress pocket. You pulled it out and saw that it was Seokjin called.

Once you answered, he greeted, “Hello, my lovely ___. How are you? I assume you arrived on campus. Please tell me you’re wearing something skimpy.”

“Jin, I’m uncomfortable—”

“That’s how I usually felt when you practiced—”

“I’m unfortunately not wearing anything skimpy because I’m uncomfortable—”

“Boo!!!”

“Will you shut the fuck up?” You spat back as you groaned. “Anyways, I’m here and I don’t know where to start. And before you speak, I refuse to say it because that’s literally power abuse and you’re my mentor! You should be guiding me regardless!”

“Okay, okay, fine! Don’t get your cherry printed panties in a twist. Just trying to relax you.“

“You’re no—wait, how do you know I’m wearing cherries?”

Ignoring your question, he continued on with some help. “Before you went, I was kind enough to give you some information. Inside your backpack, I placed a folder in there that has Jeon’s class and practice schedule. There are some new pointers that I had redacted previously, which I kinda regret now since you’re practically clueless.”

“Whose fault is that?”

“You! I practically have to scream at you to get shit into your little head!” He screamed. “I put who he associates with, i.e. his friends, frat members.” While he further explained himself, you quickly found an empty table and sat down as you retrieved what was in the backpack. You read off the papers and scrutinized the pictures given—by the way, also attractive men surrounding him.

“You haven’t given me his interests or personality.” You questioned though you spoke as a statement.

“Even though it was my plan to not show you everything, the highers thought it was best to not give it to you.” He replied as carefully and slowly as possible. Before you could yell at him, he beat you to it. “___, come on and understand. You know nothing on how to lure men seductively. They and I thought it was the perfect way possible for you. You’d be working closely with the dude and knowing your way around a human man. If you fuck up, you fuck up but at least you know next time what to do.”

You sighed, giving up on the notion. “Okay… I’ll try.”

“That’s the spirit! Plus, you won’t die.” He encouraged you. “___, it’s a very simple task. Just fuck him.”

“I know it’s just fucking him! You don’t think I want to?” You yelled but realized where you were. You looked around and spotted a couple of groups staring at you curiously. Trying to ignore the eyes, you returned to your conversation. “I’m just scared, okay? It’s my first time.”

“It’s okay to be scared. I was like that before.”

You snorted, “Really?” Judging by the way he carried himself, scared was definitely not it.

“Well, no. I was a fucking pro, but the thing I’m getting at is that it’s natural how you feel. But you shouldn’t. You’re gonna unlock something in you that you’ve never seen before. I can promise you that.” He countered, trying his best to keep you hopeful. “I’ll be calling you or if you need urgency, just mind communicate me. You got this. You’re a pretty succubus. There’s no way human men would deny you.”

“Okay, I understand.” You nodded. You checked the time and saw it was close to when Jungkook’s schedule started. “I think I need to go to his first class, so I’ll call you later.”

“Good luck, I believe in you!” He gave you one last pep talk. “I’ll give you a little cheat, just for that! He likes the naive ones.”

“What? What does that mean?” You asked, not getting anything from that.

“Exactly, little succubus.”

-

You walked into the lecture hall—shit, this was huge. How could you possibly learn anything with hundreds of people here? Anyways, this was a folklore and mythology literature class but not like it matters.

Your eyes scanned the students, searching for Jungkook, but you couldn’t see him. It didn’t help that you were short as fuck, having to tip toe and scan the crowd. It also didn’t that you were blocking the entranceway and people didn’t see you there, so you were pushed down by accident and fell to the ground on your knees and hands.

“Whoa didn’t see there, you little troll.” You heard a voice from behind, followed by a roar of deep laughter.

“Hey! How dare you call me a—” You turned your body around to face the culprit and gazed up at three figures, smirking at each other.

It was him, with two of his best friends at each side—from what you remembered, they were Jimin and Namjoon. They were wearing matching jackets with you assumed their frat symbols on them, slapping palms with one another. Holy hell, they all looked so good you wanted to eat metal and scratch rust. It made you more nervous about your task, knowing they looked like that in real life. Right off the bat, you noticed how these are some cocky men by their expression and behavior, but they were the type where you enjoyed seeing it more and still say thank you for it.

My goodness, Jungkook was hot. It frightened you because how were you going to get him in bed? Willingly? He looked like his standards were through the roof.

Distracted by your thoughts, you don’t notice how they all turned to face you and cocked their eyebrows up at seeing you. A cute little thing like you staring up with your big dark Bambi eyes with an adorable pout, wearing a dress while on your knees. The combination made two of the side men weak to your oblivion.

“Oops, sorry, gorgeous.” Jimin…yeah, that one, spoke. He reached out his hand for you to use to get up, which you timidly accepted, but you didn’t dare look at him. You were blanking out.

“Thank you.” You said softly, patting down your clothes.

“Hey, what’s yo—” He couldn’t finish his sentence as you zoomed out of the classroom.

Unfortunately, you bumped into another person and fell to the ground again, to which you mumbled sorry and used your super speed to evacuate the premises.

Yup, this was gonna be difficult for you.

-

“What the fuck do you mean you escaped? Why?” Seokjin yelled through the phone during what humans call their lunchtime. You were alone in the school cafeteria with a triangular food with red meat and cheese. You didn’t know what it was, but you refused to ask, so now you were stuck with it.

After the class or two you skipped, Seokjin called you for updates. Of course, what you explained disappointed him. You couldn’t get mad this time, it was your fault, and you reacted way worse than you imagined.

“I panicked! Okay?” You groaned, stabbing a fork into the human food. “I fell down and saw him, and I didn’t know what to do, so I just left.”

“___, that’s not what you’re supposed to do.” Your mentor sighed. “I let this one slide, but you gotta get with the program and complete your task.”

“I understand.” You frowned as your eyes wandered at those around you until you reached your target. He was amongst his friends laughing and throwing things at one another, but what was interesting this time was that he had a woman sitting on his lap, nuzzling her nose into his neck. You watched as she whispered something to his ear, making him grin cheekily before he spoke something. “I see him.”

“What’s he doing right now?” Seokjin wondered curiously.

“I think he’s with his friends? I see the other two from before, but there’s more…, and a lady is sitting on him.” You stated your observation, then, out of nowhere, they began making out in front of everyone. “They’re tonguing one another. Should I be worried?”

“No, you shouldn’t. You’re a demon.” He clarified. “Again, he’s a fuck boy. He gets around, so this is probably victim number 090197.”

“Jin, you should have seen him!” You mourned. “He looks like I could never get to him, like he has a standard.”

“___, as a fuck boy, he has no standard.” He tried his best to hold back on his snappy remarks because he knew you needed as much support as required. “Little one, it’s your nerves talking. It’ll be easy for you! You’re much more powerful than those…those human men.”

You continued to keep your eyes on him as those tongues between him and the girl pushed down their throats. Why did the woman make it look so easy? You don’t know why it was so difficult for you. You were literally a succubus! A sex demon! You feed off sex. It’s not like you were clueless, having experienced it from time to time, especially with that one warlock back in Wennale. What was his name again? Taehyung? Then again, this was your first human.

“Little one, don’t you wanna pass?”

“I do! I do so badly.” You cried, although there were no tears in sight. “I just—I just need some time. I have no confidence whatsoever.”

“I’m slightly disappointed when you have me as your mentor.”

“Please, you insult me all the time.”

“Yes, I do and it should only be me. You have no right to insult yourself, okay?”

“Okay.” You grumbled, and Seokjin didn’t like that.

“No, come on! You gotta be more pumped than that! Okay?” He shouted louder, letting his pitch get higher.

“Okay!” You chuckled, feeling better about yourself.

“That’s the spirit! That’s my mentee!”

“Yeah, I’m your mentee!”

“Now get in there and fuck his brains out!” He cheered you on, and you got a little too excited…

You slammed a fist on the table, standing up. “Yeah, he’s gonna reupholster my guts like furniture and clean it out with his cum!” You screamed out in the cafeteria. You didn’t realize it until you felt people’s eyes on you with dilated pupils. You stared back, wondering what was wrong—as it was entirely normal for succubi to do this. You swiftly glanced at Jungkook, who also looked at you shockingly.

Who were you?

-

There was no progress in your task for the past couple of days.

You were still afraid of going up to him and seducing him. You kept your distance and watched him from far away, during his classes, lunch, practice, and sometimes even late at night as you flew up and peeped through his window when he did and didn’t have someone over. At the very least, you could get a sense of who he was and what he liked.

From what you heard and saw, he was a complete asshole and too much into his ego to let a weakness show. He mainly liked to show off his delicious muscular body when playing soccer during his practices. He loved winning—a competitive motherfucker, and sometimes picked fights.

He didn’t hurt anyone…well, physically, you guessed. But you did see many girls running away crying after he spoke to them with that evil bunny smile, saying nothing would happen between them. There was no preference in girls, so that was good for you.  

His friends aren’t any better. They walked around campus like they were kings in a castle. They were too arrogant. Holy hell, was this how human men were? Damn, though Jin was annoying, you had to be honest and say incubi and other creatures were wayyyyy better than these humans.

You sat at the bleachers with a group of students taking some kind of greenery wrapped in paper. You didn’t know what it was, but you were familiar with the scent as it was usually used to scare away woodland trolls. 

Fun fact: Succubi and trolls had bad blood with them because one of the many reasons, they always sneak into our lands and hump our kinds’ legs since they couldn’t reach them. 

You tried blending in, sometimes getting offered some, but you politely denied it. You munched on delicious granola that you discovered as you scrutinized Jungkook.

Despite his sour taste of choices, you couldn’t help but still want him. Perhaps it was the demon in you who didn’t care about any traits except having sex with men. But nevertheless, you gravitated toward him. 

Now you felt a bit more in-tuned and confident as a succubus. Now knowing he doesn’t care for types except for having a hole, you had a chance to face him. But of course, the question was, how can you not make it obvious you needed to sleep with him?

You saw that practice was over, so now you had to sneakily follow.

Pretending to be part of the group with you, you shouldered your backpack and waved goodbye, which they did back despite not knowing who you were. You skipped down the bleachers and walked in the team’s direction. You took the scenic route, feigning you were looking at trees and shrubbery, even taking pictures with the phone. You didn’t know it could do that until two days ago, so you used it to your advantage by taking pictures of Jungkook for evidential purposes.

You were finally within hearing reach as you listened to Namjoon speak. “Bro, this party tonight is gonna go hard! Jimin called and said that the drinks and tables are set up.”

“The perfect way to end a perfect week.” Jungkook smiled. You enjoyed it when he spoke. It sounded very friendly to your ears.

“Of course, you’d say that.” Namjoon rolled his eyes at his friend. “We all know that you’re gonna get lucky with some girl as always.”

“What can I say? I’m irresistible.” Ugh, such a shitty personality on a red flag—you also learned that phrase here and for that, you loved the color red. “Need someone new though. It’s like I fucked every girl, except the ones you guys had. I’d like no sloppy seconds, please and thank you.”

“I would say go for a freshmen, but it does sound a bit wrong…” Namjoon commented. “Whatever, this party is free for all. Even people from the other university near by can come.”

“Mmm, we’ll just have to see.”

A party? For all? Sounds like you could join. This could be a perfect opportunity to finally get Jungkook. You knew that much more planning needed to be done, but that could be dealt with later. You needed to tell Seokjin!

-

“Finally, fuck. I was thinking of coming over to the realm and drag the both of you into a room to stick his dick in you.” Seokjin said in relief through what was a video called. Damn, this device was terrific and handy to use.

It was nice to see a familiar face despite it being Jin’s fucking irking one. You missed him, but you weren’t going to tell him that, or else he’d make fun of you until eternity, which was terrible because you both were immortal.

“I didn’t know how to approach him. Every chance seemed not right?” You reasoned as you sat on the couch. Seokjin got or whatever he did—stole?— you a house to stay at during your time here. Although the outside looked deathly abandoned, the interior was similar to your dorm back home and was near the campus. The frat house, so you can say you were relatively comfortable. 

“If that gets you to sleep at night.” Seokjin snorted, shaking his head. “Well, you’re almost there and I hope that you’ll complete this task by tonight. The highers are complaining when you’re going to finish.”

You let out a laugh, rolling your eyes. “This is me they’re talking about.”

“Yeah, I know I told them that.”

You stopped chuckling to pout at him, “Rude.”

“Anyways, what are you gonna wear? Something skimpy I hope. I don’t wanna see a duvet on you. I want to see some tits and ass, maybe even an areola.” Your mentor suggested rapidly.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I brought anything like that from back home.” You shrugged.

“Please stop wearing a lot of fabric.”

“Hey! At least I’m showing some collarbone! You’ve seen how humans dress. I needed to blend in and not get noticed.” You explained. “You think I won’t get stared at if I wore a dark purple thong and a corset around campus?”

“You’ll probably give many people boners though.” He countered, making you roll your eyes. “Lucky for you, I prepared a wardrobe in your room for you to pick. It has some lingeries and short dresses you can choose from. Don’t fail me now. If you need my help, I think it’s best for you to mind communicate with me. And if you really need my help, you can just say—”

“I’m not gonna say it but I will contact you. Good bye.” You hung up before he said anything. You exhaled and paused for a while.

This was it. You were going to complete your task tonight. It shouldn’t be too bad, you told yourself. You needed to have some confidence and encourage yourself. You put on a smile before going to your room to prepare yourself.

-

“This is how people have fun?” You grimaced as you commented on what you saw.

You arrived inside the house at the completed crowded frat party where people scattered the entire block. You spotted students running around naked, making out that almost reached exhibitionism, vomiting by the curb, and dancing to the sounds of beats that were too loud you couldn’t even hear yourself or Seokjin think. You guess you can say it was rather adventurous, but if it excited people, then so be it.

“Humans are interesting creatures, right?” Seokjin responded in your mind. His voice was crisp and clear, almost like he was right by you.

It was dreadful.

“I also saw what you sent me. Absolutely smashable, my dear!” Seokjin applauded you, turning your cheeks into a deep pink.

As what a succubus does best, you dressed up like dicks were gonna turn red and fall off from the horniest pain they’ll ever experience. You wore a short baby pink glittered dress paired with matching platform heels that were too high for your liking. The outfit was backless, exposing your supple skin. At the same time, the front pushed your boobs up, sitting properly on your chest for everyone—specifically Jungkook to see. You decided to curl your hair into the bombshell style, a trademark for a succubus. The only thing was makeup, and you went pretty natural but still dolled up for your skin to glow radiantly under those poorly-lit frat lights.

As you walked to the party, you noticed many men follow your movement, eyeing your features and gawking at your curves. They were obvious, but you ignored them to continue doing what you needed.

“You’re definitely gonna suck all the semen out of that poor soul.” Seokjin said excitingly. “By the way, where is he?”

“I have no idea.” You shook your head, scoping out the crowd to find the handsome human. “Can’t suck the semen out if I can’t see him.” One of your feet ran into the other, causing you to trip, but you got your balance back up. “Fuck these heels.”

“Relax, I’m sure you’ll find him. The night is still young and you should enjoy yourself before coming back here for your next assignment.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. After this, I request like a month off after the mental and emotional trauma I went through.” You mentioned as you walked passed a group of people, none of which were Jungkook.

“Request denied.” Your mentor responded back. “I would like to also say that since you discovered Jungkook’s behavior, you should also note that he wants to get laid and probably before the night ends. If he does get someone and it isn’t you, then you missed your chance.”

Oh, no. You didn’t think about that. Since you overheard him saying he probably went through every girl, you had tunnel vision that he could only want you since you were “fresh.”

Oh, fuck. You also didn’t realize that there’s literally another school here, so the chances of him sleeping with somebody else new tonight was 99.9%.

What was the other 0.1% chance, one might ask?

 It was you interrupting.

“Fuck, Jin. I need to find him quickly then.” You said under your breath as you pushed through. “I’ll fuck him and leave. Dammit, why does this guy have to be ran through the freeway?”

“Better than someone who isn’t. Go get him, I’ll be here if you need it! Remember those words.”

“I’m not fucking saying them!” You seethed, pushing sweaty bodies out of your way. The body odor was through the roof, and you wanted to gag.

You weaved your way through somewhere but don’t particularly know where you were. Everything was condensed with people. Though you hated the heels, they gave you height. So you turned your head left and saw the kitchen ahead, which was somehow more empty, but you didn’t mind since you just needed some cubic centimeters to breathe. You made it to the kitchen, trying to relax yourself and adjust your outfit.

You had to develop an idea fast before Jungkook ran off with another victim. Nothing was coming to your mind, and it didn’t help when you saw a table of snacks waiting to be taken. You walked up and scanned the snacks in search of those granolas you enjoyed having. Alas, there weren’t any, which bummed you out. But you were still determined to find them.

This was a house. You were sure they had some granolas.

Suddenly, two dudes—oh, one of them was Jimin—walked in carrying a bag of ice and more snacks. Maybe they knew where the granola was located.

You went up to them while they were busy fixing everything and talking to one another. You couldn’t understand what they were saying until the other one, you didn’t know, spoke. 

“I swear that when it popped, there was so much black gunk coming out that it squirted into Yoongi’s eye.” The one you didn’t know laughed and sounded uplifting; you also wanted to laugh, but what he said confused you. 

“He told me. He wanted to beat your ass.” Jimin giggled as he dumped the ice into the jug coolers.

You confidently—or at least told yourself you were—went up to them. Their backs were facing you, so they didn’t notice you coming their way until you tapped on the unknown guy’s shoulder, hoping you got his attention. The guy thought it was one of the pledges trying to ask a stupid question to which he was gonna tell them to fuck off until he saw an absolute doll in front of him.

“Excuse me, do you have granola?” You asked with wide irises with a gentle smile, anticipating his answer as you chanted in your head he’d say yes. But he didn’t say anything to you. He kept his eyes on you, though. Then down to your figure and back up to your face. He has never seen you before.

“Do you have granola?” You repeated yourself, and now Jimin finally had your attention.

“Gorgeous, we meet again!” You could have sworn Jimin’s eyes lit up with heavy passion and jubilance. He glanced at your banging body and cursed under his breath, but you couldn’t hear.

“Jimin, you know her?” Hoseok gasped as his eyes shifted to his friend, then to you.

“Of course, bud.” Jimin smirked. “She’s in my class…I think.”

You didn’t comprehend what was happening, but you went with it. “Yes… I’m in his literature class. Hi, Jimin.” You smiled, puffing up your cheeks and eyes, making their hearts palpitate.

“You’re looking as beautiful as ever…” He slowly went silent as his slit eyes grew at you. You came up blank when you tilted your head to the side, not knowing what he was doing. You thought he would continue, but he kept his mouth shut. You blinked and were about to ask him if anything was wrong, but the unknown guy beat you to it.

“I’m Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi. What’s you name, doll?” Hoseok grinned at you.

“Ohhh.” You said in awe, now getting what Jimin was trying to do. You nodded slowly before replying, “I’m ___! Hi, Hobi.” The way you said his nickname made him feel some type of way.

“___!” Jimin raised his arms before coming up to hug you, but you were pulled back by the waist from Hoseok.

“You don’t get to hug her when you clearly forgot her name.” Hoseok scoffed, resting his palms on the tops of your hips. “Come on, doll.”

“Hey, that’s only because she ran away from me when I was about to ask her her name,” Jimin explained. His gaze went back to you as well as his smirk. “I’ve never seen you around campus before. Are you a first year?”

“Uhhh, no?” You answered. Shit, now you had to come up with some story. “I-I transferred here from somewhere.”

“Where?”

“Oh, it’s a part of Hell—I mean, Helena…”

“Helena?” Hoseok raised an eyebrow. “I think that sounds like from the States?”

“I think so, yeah.” You nodded, hoping they won’t ask any more questions. “I’m new here and I don’t know much, so I thought this party would help me get comfortable.” That was believable, right?

Though they tried to hide it, you saw how they shared the same evil reaction followed by a fake ass smile that no one would know except a demon-like yourself. Oh, no. This was going in a different direction than you wanted. 

“Don’t worry, gorgeous. We’ll help you get comfortable around here.” They sounded so genuine you were almost convinced, but you had to remind yourself that they were distractions. The main person was around the house, waiting for his dick to get wet.

“Thank you for your help, but I think I’ll survive.” You turned them down as friendly as possible. “But do you have granola?”

Not giving up, Hoseok nodded and grabbed your hand. Luckily, you didn’t mind, or else he would have lost one of his two personal hand jobs. “Of course, we keep them in the cabinets. We don’t usually give it out during parties, but since you’re one of a kind, we’ll let it slide.”

“Thanks, Hobi.” Hoseok thought you were so cute yet hot as fuck. He couldn’t back down if there was a slight future of you giving him the glug plug triple gorilla twist 3000. The fucker basically ran to get the bags of granola from you.

In the meantime, Jimin butted in and handed you a drink. “Here, gorgeous. I bet you’re thirsty.” When he said that, he wished you were thirsty for him. “Don’t worry, it’s from the jug. It’s our frat’s very own jungle juice made with passion and love. But be careful now. It’s a little strong.”

“What’s in it?”

“Well, various kinds of juices but alcohol content would be three bottles of tequila, give bottles of soju, two bottle of gin, a bottle of Bacardi, and a splash of vodka.” You have never heard of those things before, but you did know alcohol as demons loved to drink. Your favorite was pure distilled moonshine. You took the cup into your hand. The shorter man kept his eye contact, waiting to drink it.

You sipped, taking in the flavor and taste, and nodded. “It tastes like nothing. Just sugar water.” There you chugged down the liquid like it was cum before wiping your lips and giving the empty cup back to Jimin, whose jaw dropped.

A woman who could handle her liquor: he was hard.

Eventually, Hoseok came back with two bags of unopened granola in his hands. “Here you go, doll.” You squealed in glee, finally retrieving the crunchy golden glory that is granola. You were almost satisfied with your night…almost. You were still on the hunt for that frat president.

“Thanks, Hobi!” You praised gratuitously before pecking his cheek. You thought nothing of it as it was a customary gesture, especially between succubi. Still, you completely forgot you did this as a human. A human man.

The slight innocent touch caused a static effect on the man. His skin prickled with his hairs straight up, followed by the tingles on his erogenous points, which were behind his ears, neck, and nipples. Blood rushed from the brain through his veins, evidently reaching his growing phallic.

You gave a gentle smile before waving, leaving both men in shock and turning on. You didn’t even do anything to them, yet you plagued a memory they and their dicks will never forget.

They wished to have you.

-

You've been here almost an hour and still have not found Jungkook. You'd think being the main guy of this story, he would have already appeared more clearly, had more lines, and interacted with you, but nooooo, you had it hard and had to work for it.

You blamed Seokjin for this.

While you looked for him, you at least tried to take some time to have fun. Humans had fascinating ways to arouse and excite them, especially over weak alcohol. It didn't necessarily make you judge their lifestyle, but more so gained another perspective which you concluded was complete utter shit.

You eventually found Namjoon—of course, you'd see everyone else except Jeon—who was doing a "shotgun" competition. Somehow you got roped into doing it, even though you knew nothing about doing it. You asked the giant muscular man how to do so.

Long story short, you won, leaving with a drunk, dazed Namjoon following you behind Hoseok and Jimin.

Yeah, you weren't alone in the hour and started to get annoyed.

"Beautiful, where you going? Let me take you upstairs and talk our feelings."

"Don't your feet hurt in those heels, doll? I bet if I massage it, you'll feel better."

"You're so gorgeous, you make me want to throw up."

The commentary from the men wouldn't stop as they followed you like ducklings to a mother duck. You inhaled deeply through your nose, attempting to keep calm as you passed by the same group of people you saw for the 58902843 time.

"Seokjin, they're fucking killing me." You said in your mind.

"Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?" He laughed at your misery. When you said nothing back, he knew you had a deadly glare that was the most serious he had ever experienced. He could feel you, and it frightened him. After a few seconds and a string of confidence, he gulped, "Okay, fine. Hold on." He then hung up.

"Jin? Jin! Hello, did you fucking hang up o—"

"___, are you okay? You seem distress." Namjoon called out, taking your attention away from calling out your mentor. "Do you need some help? I'm a biology major and I have an excellent stash of emergency medicine—"

"Please, we get that you're prepared and trying to impress her!" Jimin insulted his friend's attempt. "We know you just want her!"

"Like you're any better." Hoseok snorted condescendingly. "I actually care for your health, ___, so I would love to assist you with any way to relief you of your distress."

The battle of roasts began between the trio as you stared blankly at them. You opened your mouth to speak, but then Namjoon called out Jimin for not wiping the toilet seat and that there were markings. You stayed quiet and thought it was your chance to escape. You stepped back, but you felt a rigid stature behind you.

An arm wrapped around your waist, and you were about to protest when they said, "Little one, I finally found you!" You exhaled in comfort, seeing your mentor in the flesh. You couldn't restrain yourself from leaning your head into his chest.

His saying paused the trio's banter to get a glimpse of the face behind that voice. No doubt in their minds, they were impressed by seeing such a tall attractive man.

Seokjin's red dress shirt was nearly unbuttoned, leaving the last two buttons together, which revealed his illuminating golden chest. His shirt was tucked into black trousers that accentuated his lean figure. His ebony hair was gelled back, exposing his one-of-a-kind forehead and prominent eyebrows.

Your mentor eyed the trio and grinned, "I see you have some friends."

"Uhh, excuse me, who are you?" Namjoon was the first to talk, refusing to let his eyes leave the handsome demon.

"I'm Seokjin."

"I-is he your boyfriend, ___?" Jimin asked.

You wanted to throw up at the sound of that. Seokjin was handsome, but he was your mentor, and you'd rather throw a chair at him.

"Ahh, no." Seokjin smiled, which made the humans breathe in relief. "But I'm her pimp daddy."

"Uh, what is that?" You thought out loud, but judging by the expressions on the men's faces, it seemed to work?? You went with it. "Yeah…my pimp daddy."

"Oh. Does that mean we have to pay for her?" Hoseok questioned, looking like he was ready to Venmo your mentor.

"She's not for grabs." Seokjin denied it, deflating their moods. "However, I have some girls you can play with for free of charge since you've been so dear to my little one." With the snap of his fingers, three succubi that you remembered you were in class with and passed their training came forward and caught the attention of the humans. Each seemed to play on a human's type as they drooled at one particular demon.

"Would you like to see my art collection in my room?" Namjoon asked the shortest demon.

"Are you up for a drinking challenge?" Jimin suggested the curviest one.

"I wanna massage you feet." Hoseok demanded the tallest one.

With arms linked with the demons, they departed in their own ways, leaving you and Seokjin alone. You sighed as you turned and looked up to Seokjin. "Thank you for once. But you do realize those three might kill them."

"True, but do you really care right now?" Seokjin shrugged, and you muttered nonsense. "You're so lucky I came. If not, you might have had an orgy which is another task, but you're not quite there yet."

"I said thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah. Just fuck the right guy, okay?" He waved it off as he, too, scoped out the area. "This place is packed."

"I know! That's why I'm struggling to find him." You whined, getting annoyed at your circumstances. "Please help me!"

"___, at this point of the task, it's really up to you."

"Please!!!!" You begged as you started bouncing in place. "Please, Seokjin. Please. Please. Please. Please! Ple—"

"Alright, fine! Fuck!" He yelled in irritation at your voice. "Anything for you to shut up!" He calmed down while you cheered in victory, waiting for him to speak. "Okay, so what do you know about Jungkook? After observing him?"

You tilted your head and gazed to the side to think. "Well, I do know he's an asshole. A little cocky? Loves to win from the sports and practices. He likes to show off? But what does this have to d—"

"So he likes to be at the center of attention?" Seokjin pointed out.

"I guess, but—"

"Think, ___." He interrupted you, but with his eyes, he pleaded. "Think and put it together. If he likes being at the center of attention…where would he be?"

Damn, was this a riddle? You never did well at those. You just gave up and went on with life. But by the look on Seokjin's face, he was desperate with you trying to realize something, and he wanted you to learn.

With that being said, where would the guy who enjoyed being at the center of attention be? 

Though you attempted to think, you couldn't hear your thoughts as a cheer of people shattered your brain, catching your focus on that. You turned your head, furrowed your brows, and were curious about the commotion.

"Hey! You bitch, focus." Seokjin snapped his fingers in front of your face, but you were to no avail. You walked away from him and followed the sounds. He groaned and rolled his eyes before footing behind you.

Hollers grew louder, and more and more humans huddled around. You pushed through the crowd, noticing how they circled around a table, giving a lot of room for it. Another uproar came into your ear as you spotted two men on each side of the table. Cups were stacked and laid out on the surface while you saw a small ball thrown into the opposite side's cup, which got another applause.

You cocked an eyebrow, questioning the excitement of throwing a ball into a cup. Again, humans and their odd interests.

Your eyes shifted towards the humans. One looked like he was struggling as his expression turned green with envy with his arms crossed over his chest. The other smiled victoriously when he shot another ball into the last cup, standing with ease. The bodies jumped in excitement, celebrating the win. Though the light was dimmed and colors splattered the room, you noticed who that was.

"Likes being in the center of attention will look for anything that grabs the people's eyes." You commented out of nowhere, surprisingly Seokjin, and made him proud.

"There's your boy right now." He nodded towards Jungkook, who pumped his fists in the air. The other guy walked away after flipping him off while the frat president blew a kiss goodbye. Coming out of the crowd, another girl who you didn't see before latched onto his body and kissed his cheek. She whispered into his ear, and his smile turned lustful with greed.

"Oh, no. He already has someone." You frowned, stomping your heel on the sticky floor. 

"It's not too late yet." Seokjin reassured. "He still has adrenaline rush from the games, he's too focused on that than pussy. You need to infiltrate somehow, but I'm not sure."

"Does anyone else want to lose at the hands of the reigning champion, Jeon Jungkook?" Another man popped into the middle. He was a bit shorter, the same height as Jimin, and had burnt orange hair. He scanned the crowd while Jungkook was too busy, practically eye-fucking the girl as he squeezed her lower back.

You couldn't let it happen.

"I'll go!" Everyone's pupils pivoted towards the high-pitched sound next to Seokjin. You raised your hand, and your voice echoed in the house, making all silent and shocked. You weren't thinking. This was all in impulse. They were staring at you with wide eyes as you stared directly at Jungkook, who had an expression you couldn't read.

"The fuck are you doing?" Seokjin spoke to you through your mind.

"I don't know but here's my chance." You shrugged.

"You, love?" The orange-haired man pointed at you.

You gulped, then nodded. You stepped forward, but again, your shoes bumped into one another, letting you trip and fall for everyone to see. 

"Son of bitch." Seokjin muttered under his breath, watching you in shame.

You were so tired of these heels that you decided to rip them off and throw them to the side, leaving you barefoot and short once again. You finally stood up and wobbled towards the table. You slammed your fist on it with determination as you stared at Jungkook.

But his stare was a bit intimidating now, so you moved your gaze to the orange man. "Yes, me! I'll play him." You nodded towards Jungkook.

"You're a feisty pretty one." Orange man smirked, then looked towards Jungkook. "Wanna play her?"

Jungkook snorted and let out a demeaning laugh, forcing you to face him and frown. "Are you serious right now? Why would I—" He couldn't finish his sentence because he met your eyes, you batting doe-eyes filled with pureness yet mystery. You looked familiar; he wanted to recognize you. A pretty face like yours should never be forgotten. "Yeah, I'll challenge her." He couldn't say no to a gorgeous sight before him.

He pushed himself away from the girl hooking onto him. She was about to complain, but he glared at her, causing her to feel insignificant and run off. His head turned back at you with a smirk you deemed his signature. You smiled back, which only made him scrunch his nose.

Fuck, he's cute.

"Hi, angel. What's your name?" His voice was smooth with so much depth.

"Uhh, ___." You replied. "What's your name, Jungkook?"

He grinned in confusion. "I see you know who I am. You don't need to ask again."

"Wait, no. Oops, forget what I said. Of course, your name is Jungkook. I had to remember it."

"You had to remember me?"

"Yeah." You nodded, then realized and said, "Wait, I know you. I mean…" You blabbered away, leaving Jungkook perplexed as he watched your glossy lips move.

It wasn't until Seokjin yelled, "Shut the fuck up and play!" Though he acted like one of the bystanders, you knew what he meant. You blinked at your mentor, then to an intimidating Jungkook whose eyes never left you.

"Are you ready to play?" Orange man said. "I'm Yoongi, by the way." That was directed towards you, but you paid no attention as your task before you had such a heavy stare it made you weak. 

"Are you ready, angel?" Jungkook asked once more for you.

"I am, but I have to tell you something." You spoke carefully, hoping you won't fuck up. "I don't know how to play."

"You don't know how to play beer pong?" He clarified what you meant, and you nodded. "If you don't know how to play, why would you challenge me?"

Your eyes grew, trying to figure out some bullshit answer. "Well…it-it looks fun. You know with throwing balls in a cup?" You said what you remembered vaguely. "I wanna try."

Jungkook hummed, slowly nodding to your reply. "You know this is a challenge, right? Also adding in that money is being betted on."

"I know!" You didn't know. "Money doesn't matter to me. I just wanna play, and maybe if anything…" You leaned in, closer to him. However, you maneuvered too fast, so half of your body slammed on the table, causing Jungkook to flinch a little at the thump. "Please teach me?"

"That was so uncomfortable. I'm leaving. Don't fuck up." Seokjin said. You glanced in his direction and disappeared before anyone could see him.

You then fluttered your gleaming eyes at your task subject. Though this move would have made Jin slap you to stop, Jungkook couldn't help but be intrigued. Maybe it was how you looked at him with those begging eyes or the tone in your lovely voice. Either way, he nodded and said, "I'll teach you, Angel. But I'm giving you a heads up." You beamed your teeth before skipping towards the opposite end of him with the table in between, waiting for him. "You can come crying into my arms when you lose."

You furrowed your brows in confusion, but without any thought, you merely nodded. "Okay, that's fine. Just teach me."

Yoongi interjected again, "Alright, people! Place your bets with our pledge, Beomgyu. Jungkook versus ___!" He pointed at two large jars that were in front of a boy. You spotted others throwing money into a pot labeled with Jungkook's name while yours was practically empty with only one bet, but it didn't really matter at this point.

"Ready when you are, JK." Orange man Yoongi finalized before stepping back.

Jungkook smirked at you, showing a faint bunny smile as he grabbed a ball. "Okay, angel. This is how you play."

He explained how the game's intent was for the players to throw the ping pong ball across a table and make it land inside the cup that had been—a type of alcohol—on the other end. Typically, there were ten cups set up in triangle formation, but as the number of cups dwindled, you could rearrange it into a straight line or triangle. You had to take turns to throw as many balls into your opponent's cup (two maximum for each turn), and if the ball did land inside, you had to consume the content inside. The person to eliminate all opponent's cups was the winner.

"You got it, angel?" He inquired after his lesson.

"Sure, I think so…" You nodded, kind of getting it. Well, not really. Every word goes from one ear to the other and floats away.

Jungkook pressed his lips into a line, "I think I should demonstrate it. Watch with your eyes, angel."

You observed the man as he stretched his limbs and neck before going into position. He dipped his ball into a cup of water on the side. He bent his knees and had a steady arm. The ball landed in a cup, then another ball went into another cup. The crowd yelled in enthusiasm as their favorite player did a double shot.

"Drink up, babe." Jungkook's arrogant aura could be seen from a hundred kilometers away. You didn't know if it turned you on or wanted him to step on you, maybe both. But nevertheless, you obliged to the game and drank the beers in four gulps. You stacked them to the side and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. "Do you get how to do it now?"

"Yes." You spoke politely. Him watching you replicated a predator waiting for its prey to make a move. It didn't make you uncomfortable but instead made you question why the fuck are you going through hoops for this fucking first task?

His instructions sounded reasonably simple, so you gave it a go. There was no conscious thought in you, so you tossed the ball. Landed. Toss. Landed again.

You hummed in pleasure before meeting Jungkook's baffled expression. "Like that?" Everyone was on pause at the moment, thinking how the hell this clueless hot bitch got it in twice?

Jungkook snapped out of it and cleared his throat. "Beginner's luck, I guess?" He shrugged, trying hard to not make it a big deal. It was his turn, and now he was committed to making you lose. He assumed you knew what to do now, so you were on your own with it. He didn't care if you were hot—well, he does, but for the sake of the game, no.

He was only able to make one in, which was fine. All is good, feeling that you won't do as well. The chances of you getting double again was rare in the game of ping po—

You got two in, and while you were drinking your losing cup. 

What the fuck?

The game continued, and truth be told, you were actually winning. You did miss a couple of times, but you had two cups left while Jungkook had four. People were rooting for you now despite the money they lost. It was because someone was better than the Jeon Jungkook and flabbergasted when there was a chance that he was going to lose his winning streak.

You felt pretty calm, in contrast to the stressed and angered human. After every turn, he grew increasingly upset at his ability and the fact that you, a hot body, were beating him. He even refused to talk to you and mumbled curses after you made a shot.

He was grateful he made two shots, making you both tie. Unfortunately, you got one in, so you had your final cup.

It was his turn again, and he was really focused as he positioned himself and took his time.

"Come on, Jungkook!" Yoongi cheered from the sidelines.

"Shut the fuck up!" Your task spat back at him that you even grimaced. 

He didn't make any, which made him punch the table, shaking the whole furniture and cups. What a nasty loser he was.

He scowled at you like an eagle, bolding his eyebrows. His tongue played with his lip ring, waiting for you to hurry it up. "Angel, what's taking long?" Though his tone sounded composed, you knew there was a poisonous ring to it.

Honestly, you wanted to get this over with, so you can at least try getting him into bed. You sighed and casually threw the balls simultaneously to make time quicker.

Two balls in one.

Something you're not getting right now but hoped for. 

There was a stillness around you as you defeated the champion. Then an uproar ripped through the air, wincing at the noise. Humans congratulated you. Even Yoongi ran up to you to hug and smell you. You awkwardly giggled, attempting to push him away, but he had quite a grip.

"The only winner who betted on ___ goes to the name of Seokjin!" Yoongi announced.

"Fucking Jin." You rolled your eyes. You had enough of Yoongi touching you. Using your super strength, you grabbed his head and pushed him off of you. He flew into the table across, ultimately breaking it down. 

While you watched the orange man in pain, you didn't notice eerily smiling Jungkook walking up to you. You only realized it when he let his hand out. You raised your head, only aware of how large he was, and took in all his features up close.

You reached his chest. His shoulders were broad and muscular, while his waist cinched tightly with a leather belt. He was literally built like a Dorito. His facial features were too unforgettable. His large rounded eyes paired with his prominent nose you wanted to sit on. Tinted pink lips pierced with a ring and glazed at sight. His arms bulged underneath that thinned blue dress shirt that should be illegal for him to wear. His tattoos followed his movement as he flexed his hand.

"Congratulations, ___." He commanded you. You peered at his hand that was in front of you. You didn't know what to do with it, but you guessed you should hold it.

You also brought your hand forward, immediately pinpointing the difference between your hands. He shook it a little, and you were about to let go, but he tugged you forward, pulling your body until it's pressed to his front. Your neck had to extend higher and was now hurting so you could look at him.

The action threw you off, so you were nervous and felt your demon heart palpitating. One had wrapped around your arm while the other held your waist. He looked down at you with a twitch and slight curve to his lips before reaching your ear and said, "I sense you were bluffing."

"H-huh?"

"You bluffed, my dear angel." He pulled back to stare at you again. If looks could kill, he'd definitely kill. Not you, though; you were a demon. "Acting like you didn't know what you were doing at beer pong, but actually did. You bluffed me."

"I really didn't play it before. I honestly had no idea what you meant other than throw ball in cup." You reasoned with a slight pout.

He didn't buy it, but the face you were making made him weak, but he didn't want you to know that. "Guess you're just good at following instructions."

You snorted, throwing your head back. "I don't know about that."

His aura didn't match your lightness. In fact, his eyes were darkened and leered into yours because he was such a sore loser he needed answers. "Then fucking tell me why you would play me. Humiliating me in front of my party." He interrogated through his teeth.

You winced when you felt his grip tighten, but not enough to not make you in danger. If he were to hurt you, you would be able to knock him out. "Fuck, Jin. Help me out!" You spoke in your head.

Sadly, the automatic reply replied, "I'm sorry. The demon you reached out to is not ava—"

You hated your mentor.

You were panicking, feeling like you weren't going to get him in bed as the conversation worsened. You needed some kind of bullshit to make his ego inflate. "I, uhh, I did it to get your attention?"

He'd be lying if he said he was surprised at your response. Of course, it had to be the reason. He actually wanted to praise you. Though he hated it, you beat him at his own game, and that was something that he would never forget.

He licked his lip and bit down his lower ones, "Really? All this for my attention, angel? You could have just asked, instead of all that hard work."

"Really?" You were in awe. You never thought about that. "Whatever, I'm shy."

"Not shy enough to do what you did back there." He decided to play with you. He released your arm to hold your soft cheek, grazing your skin with his thumb. "Just ask and I might just give it to you."

Yes, this was your chance. You could ask him to fuck you right here, but you didn't know if he liked that. He seemed to be somewhat private since you only observed sexual activity from him in a bedroom or closed area. 

"C-can we go some place more private?" You asked.

He didn't even need to say anything. All he had to do was grab your hand and lead you through and out of the crowd. As you walked upstairs with him, all your thoughts were about how you were executing this because right now, you were winging it like a fucking beast. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all…

"I fucking told you it wasn't that bad." Your mentor's voice interrupted your internal monologue, to which you refused the disrespect.

"Why are you fucking listening?"You complained.

"Well, I'm just ensuring that it's going by smoothly, duh!" He spoke. "I'll give you style points from how you were able to get him into his room though."

The opening of the door disrupted your mind conversation as Jungkook lets you go inside first. You did so before he followed behind, closing and locking the door. You inspected his room to see if there were any abnormal or normal aspects. Though you observed him, you weren't really able to see what was inside through your abilities. You weren't quite there yet.

But it was alright to know that his room was the standard layout of human men's rooms shown in training videos. Blue checked print bed sheets on a queen-sized bed, a white dresser with colognes and oil diffusers on top, a gaming desk, and a PC. Some colored lights, posters, and a display case show figurines with a guitar in the corner. 

"Nice set up you got here." You complimented. Out of nowhere, your heart began beating faster than usual. It was most likely because you felt it happening. It was anticipated in the back of your neck. The question was, just when?

"So angel, I have a small question if you don't mind answering. Well, it's more of an explanation actually." You gazed at him, seeing how he slowly paced around his room with eyes wandering around as if he had never seen his possessions before. You don't say anything for him to continue on. "The more I look at you, the more familiar you look."

You scrunched your eyebrows, then tilted your head. But he didn't give you time to respond, "Then I realized…" His piercing irises landed on you as he stepped closer and closer to you until your neck was aching at the stretch up again. "You're the one who's been watching me."

Your eyes widened. You thought you were being careful. "W-what do you mean?" You acted clueless, hoping he'd buy it.

"I mean, I feel and see your stares during lunch, class, my practices—you know you're obvious right? Sitting next to the stoners?? You're completely out of place. It's also noticeable since I've never seen you before." He listed his smirk grew by the second while you said nothing like the dumbass you were. You opened your mouth, but he spoke up, "And to answer your question, yes being never seen before is noticeable because I've seen a lot of girls and I've never seen such a hot, gorgeous, sexy angel like you before."

Was this human a mind reader? You knew he was brilliant, but damn, it hurt what little pride you had left in you.

"So tell me ___, you've been watching me like a creep, you were trying to get my attention. What is it that you want with me?"

You wanted to fuck; that's what you wanted. But the words weren't coming out, and only repetitive stammering spewed. "I-I—umm…well, you see… I-it's." You felt your cheeks heating, begging yourself to look away, but you couldn't. He affected you so much that you wanted to get lured into his nutmeg-colored irises. You stopped your stuttering and whined with a sulking frown.

"Don't get all shy with me now." He chuckled at your vulnerable state, thinking how cute you were being. "I'm asking a simple question that I'm sure you know how to answer. Now I'm gonna ask again. What do you want with me?"

You had to fight your panicking. You needed to do this; you needed to stop restricting yourself. You had to be explicit, but too much, a little subtle. But most importantly, you must be confident. "I-I-I wanted you to teach me." Fucking smooth like butter with the confidence.

Now it was his turn to be confused, mimicking your puzzled expressions. "Teach you what?"

You cleared your throat before continuing, "You—you know how you, like, get around, like fuck other girls?" You stated. He kept silent as you pointed out the facts. "I was wondering if you could…teach me…how to fuck?" Once that sentence came out of you, you regretted saying it. Teach you how to fuck, really? If anything, it should have been the other way around, dumbass. "I don't know this sounds so stupid. I'm so sorr—"

You stopped talking when he let out a hardy laugh. You could feel his solid chest bouncing, pressing further into your front. "Angel, angel, angel. You're such a cute one." He shook his head and sighed. He wrapped his strong hands around your hips, lightly squeezing them. "Like I said, all you have to do is ask."

"Really?" You questioned, eyes bulging in glee. "Then fuck me, please? I want it now!"

He liked how excited you were, sounding desperate as you went through bridges just for dick. But hey, he wasn't complaining. This was going to be fun for him. "I would be glad to, but, you have to earn it." His arrogant smirk dropped into a stoic frightening glare. "Get down on your knees, slut."

Okay, that was out of pocket. He sounded so serious, but go off. You blinked back, "Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Okay, Jungkook?"

"No, no, you short bitch. It's sir to you." Your jaw dropped at the insult, but you just went with it, hoping this would be over soon.

"Okay, sir. Sorry, sir." You muttered, and your tone made Jungkook annoyed. He threaded through your hair and pushed you down to the ground. You huffed as you steadied on your knees. However, you were too short, so he had to maneuver you both until he sat on his gaming chair, legs wide open. His crotch leveled with your head. You observed how it was growing harder without even being touched.

"What, you don't know how to give a blow job?" Your task snarled, thinking you were so eager yet so naive. He held your strands, bringing you closer to him.

You actually didn't know how to, despite being a fucking succubus. You kinda skipped that course practice as well as the sex toy lessons Seokjin scheduled for you. It wasn't your fault that they consistently landed on the same day Lilith and her team gave out free slushies.

But being clueless about this, you had to reach for help. "Seokjinnie!! My favorite mentor in all realms. Please help me now!!!" You begged through your mind.

"Hello, Succubus hotline. Darling, you are live." Seokjin chirped from the other side.

"I have to suck a dick and I don't know how! I'm just staring at his crotch and I'm afraid to look up because I know he's sneering at me."

"This is what you get for missing your lessons!" He scolded. "Why don't you go on with your 'teach me' method."

"My angel, are you deaf? Do you not know how to give a blow job?" Jungkook growled, tugging on your head and making you hiss in ache.

"I told you I wanted you to teach me, sir." You pouted. "Please teach me how to please you, sir."

Jungkook's expression softened at the sight of you, but it wasn't enough to wipe off the harsh demeanor he gave you. "Fine, I'll teach you. Just unzip me first, the fabric is chaffing my dick." He commanded, keeping his contact on you.

"Damn, he's vicious." Seokjin heard Jungkook speak.

You nodded and said, "Yes, sir." At least you were compliant. You unbuckled his pants and threw his belt to the side before unzipping his pants. He scooted himself up as you yanked down the fabric until it reached his knees. You spotted his bulge trying to escape his boxers. The view of the darkened wet spot made you drip down your cunt. You pulled them down, revealing his prized possession before sitting back down.

It was a given that humans weren't as big as incubi or other creatures, but Jungkook was definitely up there in the biggest you've seen. His cock looked heavy and unusually on the thicker side. He had three distinct veins, the most evident ranging from the base to the tip on the middle left. His mushroom head was aching red, oozing with pearlized pre-cum. Your succubus senses were coming in, and you could practically smell the sex seeping out of him.

You wanted to touch him, so you did without thinking. You practically manhandled it, causing him to cringe in pain. "You stupid slut, don't just grab it like that! What's wrong with you?!!"

His complaints were similar to those from Seokjin. The only difference was that it turned you on and secreted your essence onto your panties. "I'm sorry, sir."

He groaned, lightly rubbing your head with his thumb. "I want you to lick the head first." He instructed, waiting for you to move. You nodded before obliging. With your warm tongue, you dainty licked the reddening head from one side to the other to the leaking slit.

"Hey, try sucking on the top. Don't do it like a lollipop, kinda like you're gulping your spit. Swirl your tongue." Seokjin recommended, and you took any advice he gave. You did what he said, earning a satisfying growl from your task.

 "Fuck." Jungkook moaned. "Like that, angel. Your mouth is so warm and soft."

The slight praise made your eyes light up red. Fortunately, Jungkook's head was thrown back, and your normal eyes returned. You rolled your tongue over him and suckled on it.

"Use your hand. Don't squeeze tight, but have it firm." He implored. You again followed, stroking his shaft, even grazing the long vein to which he whined hard. You felt your original form attempting to break out, but you forced yourself to not do so as the act of sex was present.

"I think you're getting it. I think you should be fine. I wish to no longer help you. It's all on you know." Seokjin announced happily, but you weren't.

"Wait, Seokjin, please stay. I need support." You pleaded.

"It's your task, little one. I can only go far with guiding. You should know what to do!" He answered. "Plus I refuse to see you fuck someone. I don't want nightmares."

"Please, I'll even surrender and say the phrase—"

"Bye, darling!!"

"Seokjin, you have a massive demon dick that I wanna fuck!" You were supposed to say it in your head, but judging by the uncomfortable silence in the atmosphere and the deadly stare Jeon Jungkook gave you, you actually didn't.

His anger spewed out of him as his nostrils flared and the sides of his lips twitched. If he had tried, he would have had steam coming out of his ears. You still held his throbbing dick, but your mouth wasn't on him anymore. The way he looked at you made you smaller than you already were. Your next steps into this were nonexistent, unknowing what to do but knowing it was never a good sign when you call the wrong name in bed.

"What the fuck did you say?" He seethed, his voice going an octave lower.

"Uhh…Jungkook, you have a massive demon dick that I wanna fuck?" You snickered awkwardly and uneasily.

He still had a grip on your hair, fastened his hold, and used it to pull you up to meet his enraged face. You whimpered as your heart rushed into your chest. "You didn't say my name. Who the fuck is Seokjin?"

"I-I-I…" You had no answer. You were blanking out, so all you did was shrug. "I'm sorry, sir."

Jungkook coerced a patronizing laugh, "I don't think you're sorry. Perhaps you're just another stupid little girl, unable to remember anything."

"Maybe…"

"Well, angel." He leaned forward, and with his other hand, he grasped your cheeks and squeezed them together for your mouth to open up. "I'm gonna make you remember nothing but my name."

Before you could even respond, he pushed your head down and slammed his enormous cock down your mouth and deep into your throat. Your eyes nearly popped out of your sockets, and you groaned around his dick from the sudden movement. Both of his hands were in your hair. He didn't give you time to adjust as he bobbed your head up and down his length, hoping you were gagging. 

But you were a succubus. There was no gag reflex. Your hands were on the sides of his thighs for support. Your lips caressed his wet cock while your tongue laid flat under the heaviness. Tears breached through your tear ducts at the amount of pain yet pleasure you were receiving. You mewled with each thrust, even gulping all the saliva and pre-cum emitted.

You were messy, and he could tell you weren't experienced in this, but he relished how easily submissive you were. He pondered how far you were willing to go with him because he had a few things to do with stupid and naive yet sweet and kind girls like you.

"God, your mouth is good." He moaned, and though he mentioned a being that didn't like your kind, you weren't really caring. You wanted sex. You needed it. Your senses were begging to come out, but you weren't ready for it. Your mind and body fought against each other as a fat cock was in your mouth.

One hand unraveled off of your hair and brushed down your body. It was a plus that you were tinier than his usuals. He literally was able to reach your ass at an arm's length. He pulled the end of your dress-up to reveal your black thong. He stretched further to meet your soaked middle. You were practically dripping through the thin waste of fabric, so he pushed them to the side.

You whined at the feeling, getting slowly impatient with the act. You were getting weaker by the second, your mind slowly becoming a puddle.

"Fuck, you're so fucking wet." He slotted a finger through your folds, collecting your wetness. He passed through your perineum and landed on your puckered anus, rubbing circles around the rim. The slight action surprised you, gasped in a frenzy, accidentally biting his duck. He heaved painfully, ready to punish you but something unexpected happened because say goodbye to your hold on yourself because you were free and released.

Out came your familiar burgundy wings blooming out your back and ripping through the dress with your matching tail slithering out your tailbone. Your little horns emerged from your head that completed your succubus form. It didn't help that you were unaware of what happened to you. But Jungkook did.

He watched it happening, and he was fucking terrified.

"Holy fuck!" He pushed you off by the shoulders, distancing himself from you. He wheeled himself back with his chair, shaking like a wet kitten with enlarged pupils at what he witnessed. "Ahhh, get away from me!"

"What, what happened?" You questioned his horrific expression. But you answered your own question when you felt your tail swiveling around and noticed how you were elevated off the ground.

You cursed under your breath at your big mistake. You weren't supposed to reveal yourself to a human, especially when you were still in training. It was a safety precaution if other creatures in the realms roamed on Earth and caught you in your act.

The trauma in his eyes was still evident and nearly consuming his entire being as he was unaware that his dick was still out and hard. You needed to settle him, so he won't panic, and you could continue getting him into bed.

"Calm down, please?" You floated towards him with your palms out to indicate no harm. But he wasn't having it as he attempted scooting further away from you.

"I'm not fucking calming down, you fucking freak troll. Get away from me!"

You gasped at his intensive insult, going too far for your liking. You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest. "Excuse me! Not even a minute ago, your dick was down my "warm and soft" throat. Just because I have wings and tails doesn't mean I'm not any different from the person you met."

You were sulky and knitting your eyebrows together. Even if he was in a state of distress, he thought you were still cute and sexy. But he really wanted to know what the hell was happening.

He gulped and lifted his trembling hand to point at your new features. "A-are those real?"

You looked behind you to understand that he was asking about your wings or really anything that wasn't human-looking. "Yes."

"Really? No, you're lying! What?! How?" He threw many questions, completely baffled at this. Sure, you were floating right in front of his naked eyes, but he could have gotten pranked. He did have a controversial reputation. 

You shrugged, "I'm not gonna lie, although it would have been better if you didn't know." You whined in annoyance, picturing the future for you. "Fuck, I'm gonna get into trouble!"

"Well, now I know, and I want to leave." He was about to get up, but you went closer to him, and his initial response was cowering away from you.

"Wait, don't leave!" You begged, pressing your palms flat in front of your face as you looked down. 

"Okay, then you leave! You're in my room anyway." He demanded. "I don't want some weird as—"

"Wait, please! Let me explain!" You decided to be truthful and hoped you could still get what you wanted. It seemed like the only thing you could have done. 

Jungkook contemplated your request. He still had no idea what was going on and exactly where you were, but he concluded that you weren't a human and wouldn't kill him. You held your airhead aura and cluelessness so high, murdering him wasn’t coming to your head at all.

So he decided to stay silent and waited for you to explain. He nodded, cueing you, to which you sighed in relief. 

Knowing Seokjin abandoned you and would have probably killed you if he found out what you did, you were actually grateful you had to do this on your own for once. First of all, you disclosed that you were a succubus in training. You described your entire situation and how you came into the human world before revealing that he was your first task and that you needed to have sex with him. 

"I know it sounds crazy, but it really isn't. Succubi and other creatures are conscious about humans and your folklore and supernatural beliefs, so we stay hidden…for the most part." You joked a little to lighten the mood. However, when he didn't reciprocate it back, you stopped. "Look, I mean no harm. Well, I could kill you…" He cocked an eyebrow at you and gasped quietly. "But I won't! I don't have all my succubus powers. I didn't even have the mental capacity when I was assigned to you. I still am not! So please, help me out. I promise I'll get out of your hair once this is over. I'll even provide a cupcake!"

His deafening silence shot your anxiety through the roof. You didn't want to fail this. You didn't want to go through this process again. It happened many times in the past, and you certainly didn't want it to repeat. You wished he accepted you. It couldn't be that bad, but not every day someone saw a real-life succubus in action.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when the blank-faced Jungkook stood from his chair, fists clenching on each side of him. Fuck, you don't think this was going to end well.

But to your surprise, he stomped his way to your levitating stature. You weren't that high up. In fact, you met his height, leveling with his face. He shortened the distance between you two before raising his hand to slap your face. 

You winced in pain, holding your gradually reddened cheek. You were about to protest when you gazed into his eyes. You felt his demeanor become malicious. His jaw clenched, sharpening his feature. He rolled his tongue across his teeth as he snatched your hair with one hand and your leg with the other. He threw your form on the bed with a harsh thud, laying you on your stomach. 

"Wait, Jun—"

He slapped your ass to shut you up before he used his strength to rip your dress completely into shreds, throwing it to the side. You gasped, feeling the cold air brushing through your skin. "Shut up, you fucking whore, and it's sir!" He spanked the same place to which you hissed in pleasure. "Get on all fours or else I'll punish you."

You simply followed directions in fear yet enthusiasm as you were going to get laid in the night. You mentally cried in joy, but this wasn't what you were excepting.

Lastly, he destroyed your thong, finally leaving you in nothing. With your position, he could clearly see your rounded, plumped ass, tail swaying side to side, and wings wagging endearingly. Jungkook groaned at such an erotic sight before him, something completely new but not at all disgusted.

His fingers strolled across your body, roaming from the curve of your spine down to your hips and then the flesh of your ass. He was careful not to touch your succubus qualities just yet. "So you were basically made to be a slut?"

"Sir, I-I'm not a slut!"

"Huh, you literally told me you were a sex demon and doesn't that mean you fuck for a living?" He provoked with a smirk creeping up on his ruthless demeanor.

You pondered at the thought, "Well, when you put it that way—"Slap! You inhaled intensively as you heard and felt the sharp spank on your nether lips. 

"Don't fucking talk back to me." He quarreled, giving you another slap, to which you groaned and bit your lips to ease the soreness. You refused to say stop because he riled you up in ways you haven't experienced before. "You're gonna be a good little slut and take what I give you. Understood?"

"Y-yes, sir."

Without warning, he flipped you on your back with a bounce to your landing. You could get a good look at him—holy hell, he was absolutely captivating with his intense intimidating gaze on you. You didn't even notice that he stripped his clothes off in mere seconds of not seeing him. You didn't feel nervous or scared. Warmth spread across your body as your eyes danced around his toned muscular torso. That was definitely a sight you wanted to see again.

You watched as Jungkook climbed over your body and straddled on top of your shoulders until his weeping cock was right in front of your face. The slit leaked his translucent fluids, dripping down his lengthy shaft. Some of it landed on top of your décolletage. 

"Open your mouth." He ordered, lacing his fingers through your hair. His dick poked your cheeks and nostrils, then swiped his swollen tip on your lips like he applied lip balm. You stared back at it as you licked your lips, then opened it wide for him. He pushed the head in your mouth with a hefty groan. You latched on, puckering your lips around the thickness. He lightly tugged on your strands, urging you to look up and stare. There you were with your dark, lust-filled eyes, waiting for anything he commands. Fuck, he thought he won the golden ticket.

"Look at me when I fuck your small mouth." He said before snapping his hips forward, letting his cock disappear inside you. You groaned around him as your eyes glowed crimson before returning to their normal color. Though he was frightened, he noticed no suspicious activity, so he continued on, making a harsh yet slow pace with his thrusts.

Your esophagus wrapped around him, throbbing with each stroke. The moans coming out of you sounded like you were drowning. The tears running down your face with your eyes bloodshot exhilarated him to go even faster. His tip stabbed the very end of your tender throat continuously. You were aching, but it felt sooooo good.

Using his unused hand, he reached behind him to get you more stimulated until he felt your sticky puffy petals. Just a singular swipe through caused your hips to jerk towards his finger, wanting more pressure on it. Your minuscule doing doesn't go unnoticed by Jungkook when he lets out a chuckle. "You're a needy little angel." You hummed noncommittally, vibrations stimulating his cock. "Be a good one and suck my cock. I'll give you what you want." You eagerly nodded that Jungkook's lips twitched at your adorableness. He wondered how you were a succubus yet acting like this. 

"Don't go too hard, but hollow your cheeks around them." He instructed you. You did what he said despite not knowing if you were doing it right. But with the louder groans that left his mouth, you felt confident. "Fucking good demon." He praised, and pearls of your wetness came out of you. "Ahh, you like that, don't you? Filthy slut likes getting praised."

While he thrusts, you hollowed your cheeks and suckled through the length as it went in and out of you. He played with your sodden folds, yet cautious to not touch your clit to tease you. You whimpered, begging with your eyes. Your fingers gripped onto his sheets as you got impatient.

Jungkook pushed himself into your mouth, pressing harder into your throat. Though you had no gag reflex, you surprisingly gagged around his cock, producing more saliva around and down your chin. "You take what you get." He pulled out, and as he was about to go back in, he quickly slid two of his thick fingers in your pussy.

You moaned with your eyes rolling back, feeling the rush of pleasure all over you that you couldn't help but reach your high quicker than usual. He felt your walls convulse around his appendages. You weren't back down from your high when he aggressively pulled back, causing you to fuss around. 

"Dumb little demon, you came without permission." He smacked your overly sensitive cunt, to which you sobbed. He raised his fingers up to his lips to slurp up your cum, even moaning at the sweet taste. His cock withdrew from your red drooling lips. You had a breather, gazing at him with your fucked up expression. He hissed in astonishment, enjoying the way you looked.

He got off you before grabbing your form and scooting his head between your legs. He sniffed. "Fine, if you're so needy, I'm gonna make you cum." So with that, he licked a strip of your petals and jammed two fingers into your hole. You screamed and arched your back at the pressure.

You couldn't do anything but wrap your fingers into his ebony locks. Your mewls amplified through the room when he reached your breast to pinch and twist your nub. He attacked your cunt with his mouth before wrapping around your clit. He listened to your sounds as he curled his fingers until he found your spot.

"S-sir!" You wept, feeling another knot forming in your stomach. "C-c-can I—"

"Cum, bitch." He didn't have to tell you twice as you felt the rush of familiar warmth spread through your limbs, quivering like a damn dog in wet water. Jungkook guided you through your bliss, unlike last time. However, when you assumed you would only feel the aftershocks, Jungkook continued his actions, letting you wince at the overstimulation.

"W-wait!"

"Nope!" You felt him smirking at your pussy before going back to devouring it. Oh no, you were reaching another high. Your orgasms were like going on a rollercoaster; you were up and down, up and down, but you weren't getting off of it any time soon. You came again, and again, and again, and again until you begged him off of you.

Tears streamed down your inflamed horny face. You breathed heavily, chest rising and your body frail and feeble. You weren't as weak. In fact, you could go more rounds, but you were—in Seokjin's words—lazy as fuck that your strength went down to the ability of a human.

Through heavy eyes, you glimpsed at Jungkook, who tried licking all your cum around his lips before wiping it from the back of his hand. "So…" He lapped his hand messily. The taste was so addicting; was it cherry-flavored? "As a succubus, what can you do?"

"What do you mean?" You rasped and cringed at your voice.

 "Like do you have powers? Anything to spice up sex?"

You needed a moment to think. Sometimes you forgot you were a succubus until Jin had to hit your horns and chase you down, which caused you to fly away. Catching your breath, you answered, "I can, uh, I can morph my body into what you like? Like, I can grow my boobs, change my personality, have fur on my body, I don't know whatever you're into."

He hummed mindlessly, "Just the way you are is fine." You didn't know why his sentence made your stomach flutter with insects. It was all tingling and friendly. "But I do want you to accept my kinks."

You nodded, "Which is…"

He snatched your body and turned you like a spinning top so that you looked at him upside down while his cock was still displayed in front of you. He couldn't see your face, only your body. He didn't bother to tell you as he held your jaw unhinged and rammed himself in your mouth as fast as a human could. You gulped and gagged around him, but when he shoved his fingers again in your red petals, you squealed so much with everything happening to you. 

He could see your throat down to your spreading, shaking legs. His cock bulged through your throat, making his ego increase. His balls swatted your face. Your tail squirmed from under while your wings were being squished in between you and the bed. There was no time for adjustments. He wanted to get himself off.

His strokes were aching hard, making you cry with the amount of pressure. His appendages making your cunt yell. You couldn't even do anything, just letting him, have you. "Stupid fucking angel only good for cock. Well, actually you suck at head. I don't think you're gonna pass…"

Your pupils dilated. "No!!" You spoke with your muffled mouth and shook your head. You refused to fail, and somehow you believed his words.

"The fucked whore wants to pass?" You nodded your head vigorously and whined. "Well, if you can satisfy me." His pace was now instant, and your body reacted well to his liking. You noticed him getting sloppy while he quickened his fingers deep in you.

It was only a matter of time until he slammed into your mouth again, and the gush of his cum splashed down your throat. You gargled and sobbed profoundly, also meeting another round of ecstasy. But only this time, a stream of your fluids leaked out, surprising your task.

"Fuck." He grunted as your mouth milked him. Once you both came down, he pulled out and saw the whites in your mouth. It was a sexy view for him, but you amped it up when you gargled it and gulped it down, showing your now clean mouth.

He was still hard, and he wanted more from you. He was greedy, greedier than usual, so he held your waist and flipped you again like a rag doll, putting you on your hands and knees. You were so small. He liked it so much to throw you around. 

He caressed your plumped ass and stretched apart your cheeks, showcasing your asshole and puffed cunt. The ends of his mouth curled upwards. He wanted a closer look at your puckered hole, but your cute tail wagged happily, blocking his way.

"This fucking tail is in the way." He tugged on it, and that's your nerves triggered. 

Your pupils dilated, producing a bit of froth in the corners of your mouth. You yelped aloud as if you were in pain. "Ahhh, no!"

His smile dropped with big eyes. He feared he hurt you, maybe even past your limits. Though you were a sex demon, he didn't really know much about your kind. "A-are you okay, ___?" He lets go of your end.

You sniffled before glancing behind your shoulder with your pout. He could have sworn your face made him feel all different kinds of emotions. "It's sensitive…"

He quirked an eyebrow at you, then at your still limb. Carefully, he wrapped his fingers around it and rubbed it down gently. He noticed your right eye twitch and inhaled sharply before moaning softly. His attention shifted down your spilling pussy, realizing it was your g-spot. 

"So you like that, angel?" His arrogance shined through his growing smirk and your writhing. "Of course, you do. How about your wings?" His other hand went for your fluttering wings, making you yell in a higher pitch.

"Sir, too much!!" This was really testing your limits. Humans never touched succubi or even incubi's wings as it showed weakness. If they did, the sex demons would kill them off the bat because your kind was supposed to be dominants.

He held onto your tail and wings before positioning his tip with your hole. He played with your clit as you squealed to secrete more wetness. Once he thought it was enough, he slowly pressed his length inside of you. The head was the thickest part of him, and you thought he would have mercy on you.

But you thought wrong.

In one go, his dick impaled into your cervix. You screamed bloody murder at the aching stretch to your wrecked walls. He didn't bother for you to adjust as his penetrations were rampant and harsh. You gasped for air, fisting the sheets under you as he played with your tail, stroking its length and then pinching its pointed end.

"You love having my human dick inside of your demon pussy?" He ridiculed, and you didn't bother to wipe off the arrogant smile on him. You barely could speak, so you blabbered nonsense and nodded. "You're going stupider than you already are!" Your arm reached behind without thought, trying to grab anything. He intertwined your fingers together to keep you in place.

However, he also roughly yanked your tail, which led you to see sounds in the nose as you went back into an orgasm. Your body acted like a screenshot as the pleasure impacted your veins. Your pussy gripped tightly around his cock while he eased you through it. What shocked him was the fact that the end of your tail sprayed cum into his face. It made him flinch, but it gave him an idea that made his smirk wider.

He enveloped his lips around your tail's end and sucked off the fluids. You went into a flurry of raptures, and small pumps of orgasms came your way. You squeaked and throbbed all over, crying buckets at the pain. You couldn't handle it anymore. You were breaking.

"E-en-enough, sir." You mewled, shoving your head into the pillow to lessen your cries. His tongue twisted around your end, earning a long wail from you. "Pl-please!" He popped off your tail, pleased with his doings. While still inside of you, he tossed you on your back once more, revealing your drained, perspiring figure.

"You're beautiful." You couldn't hear him as there was an ongoing ringing in your eardrums. But he guided your arms around his neck and pulled you closer to him. He clutched onto your waist firmly that you know there'll be marks the following days. He fucked you harder, literally rearranging your insides while gawking at you.

Your tits bouncing all over your chest, hearing the sloshing of where you both met, your noises that should be the number one song on Billboard Top 100. Your sobbing and tears were drugs to him, becoming addicted in the short span of knowing you. He couldn't get enough of it. 

You had your tongue out and flapping around, hoping it could get you more oxygen in your lungs, but Jungkook begged to differ.

"Open your mouth." Like a true submissive, you did it. He gathered so much saliva and spat a glob onto your tongue. Not needing him to tell you, you swallowed it and breathed heavily. He grunted before placing his face in the crevice of your neck. He tongued on the surface, creating darkened hickeys all over.

"Please, hurry, sir." You admitted defeat, wanting this to be over already. You could barely even grip around him without trembling. Why were you such a fucking weakling? 

"Almost there, angel. I promise." After three pumps, he finally painted your insides white. He whined into your ear, nibbling on your lobe. Ropes after ropes as your cunt milked him dry. The feeling of his cum sparked you once again as you had your final high. Being as sensitive as ever, your tail sprinkled your cum over the both of you as if it was rain. Your eyes illuminated rubies and absorbed the semen into your body, accidentally draining some of Jungkook's life out, but he didn't notice it as he thought he was too fucked out.

"Fuck, you're so good for me." Jungkook exhaled, lifting his head from your neck to see your broken state. Without thought, which he never does, he leaned forward to kiss your lips innocently. You assumed it was a sort of gratitude. 

You tried kissing him back, but you didn't want to move. You felt dead like you were going to die. Your energy was nonexistent and probably won't be back until the following year. Yet you wanted to cheer as you finally completed your task. But fuck, Seokjin was going to be mad at what you did.

Oh, well. That was a problem for another time. Right now, all you wanted to do was pass out and fall asleep for seven years.

-

"Congratulations on completing your first task!" Seokjin said elatedly as he threw confetti at your face. You were finally back in your realm, specifically Seokjin's office, after three weeks of being in your dorm. After finishing your task, you left Jungkook, and the human realm before their sun rose. You wanted to get out and finally be in the comfort of your room as you recovered from the night.

You were going to lie because it was honestly incredible, almost too much for your liking. No creature ever got you off like that, and you were bewildered when a human man made you cum in ways you didn't think about before. Though it was a task, you don't believe another job will get your cum like Jungkook did. You pondered on that thought while viewing your mentor frolicking around his space, continuing to throw confetti that you knew he'd tell you to clean up.

"Only 99 more to go!" He announced as he smiled. "Well, actually…you did complete a couple more since this subject had a remarkable history of interests."

You shrugged and brushed it off. You floated on his desk and hovered above as you crisscrossed your legs. "Yeah, hooray for me. Seokjin, I have a question or two, maybe even three."

"Yes, my little mentee? I'm so happy. Even the highers are raving ab—"

"With my other tasks, does it always have to be a different subject?" You questioned, interrupting Seokjin's glee.

Your mentor tilted his head in wonder. He hummed, "Well, it's recommended to have different subjects to gain knowledge of the variety. But most of the time, no, except like three tasks, only because you need another p—"

"Perfect, can I have Jungkook as my task helper?"

"What?!?!?"

-

It has been over a month since Jungkook last saw you. He woke up to an empty cold side of his bed with all the traces of you disappearing overnight. At first, he didn't bother to care. He usually kicked the girls out of his room once it was over or when he'd wake up. Your departure helped him out a lot. But with you…you…well, you were a demon, so of course, you were different.

Though he went on with his life, even continuing his fuck boy streak, he couldn't stop thinking about you. He didn't want to be honest with himself, but he wanted to see around campus. But he knew it wouldn't happen since you were a succubus. It was all for your training, and that was it.

Maybe it was the way you looked, how you acted, or just perhaps you were not human. He couldn't comprehend why he thought like this. Perhaps you injected some potion that caused him to lowkey simp for you. But after the brief encounter, he knew you weren't as bright to do that to him.

Whatever, the point is that you were unforgettable in his brain, and he only wished to see you again but knew it wasn't going to happen. 

He sat at a coffee shop, trying to do some work before his partner for his class showed up. As he was too focused on his screen, he didn't notice someone sitting opposite of him until they cleared their throat. Though a bit irritated by the disruption, he eventually looked up and lost breath.

You were in the flesh—gorgeous and alluring flesh—smiling at his baffled state. He stared with round, wide eyes with his lips slightly parted. No words can describe how he was feeling, but he knew that he liked that you were back. Millions of questions and sentences ran through his head. He wanted to say so much to you, but you beat him to it.

But not with a hello, not how he was feeling, but—

"Sir, do you think you could teach me again?

A/N: Sequel Here!

Cien Años | KNJ

Pairing: Best Friend Namjoon x Best Friend Reader

Genre: Hanahaki AU, Angst, Fluff (barely)

Summary: A sad story of two best friends who loved each other for different reasons.

Warning: UR GONNA BE SAD, namjoon being in denial, oc being out of the loop, flashbacks :(, a lot of crying from everyone, mentions of death (nobody dies tho!), mentions of surgery, illness, unrequited love, there's somewhat of a happy ending!

Word count: 15.1k because I'm a menace

Note: Italics are flashbacks.

A/N: Inspired by the song "Cien Años" by Natalia Lafourcade & Pepe Aguilar. My friends told me to write a story about it...so I did.

I've also cross-posted this originally on AO3 as well! Enjoy~~~

You closed your eyes and inhaled deeply.

Trembling fingers gripping onto your daisy bouquet as you controlled your shaky breathing. You faced the closed doors, waiting for the queue. One by one, you saw your bridesmaids leave you until you were alone. A light sheen of sweat expanded on your back; luckily, the laced fabric hid your nervousness of today.

What awaited inside would be your most anticipated life-changing event yet. Once you leave there, two souls become one, purposeful promises are committed with expected hardship to overcome. The day you are officially united with the love of your life.

You’ve been waiting for this day, and you couldn’t wait any longer. At the other side of the doors, there stood your soon-to-be husband smiling like a maniac. You wanted this so badly, nervous because the ceremony separated you from your soulmate. But it’ll be okay.

Because he was worth it.

-

He was dressed in a suit with his hands intertwined behind his back.

His mouth opened in awe at the sight of you. You slowly walked down the aisle with your father at your left side. His arm linked firmly around yours. With bittersweet eyes, he looked like he didn’t want to let you go but knew he had to for the best. 

Your dress flowed down with grace, the train behind dragging along the carpeted floor. Your effortless beauty that it shined through your sheer veil. You held onto your favorite flowers, handpicked by him, and will forever keep them in your memories.

Your smile beamed through your family, friends, and esteemed guests, but he could tell how anxious you were deep inside. He knew how much love you had in you, how much soul and care you had to offer. He knew everything about you. After all—

Namjoon has loved you ever since you were younger.

-

When you first met Namjoon, you were about 11. The smartest nerd in school was your partner for a science project. Between the introduction and the first place win, you’ve gotten to know him much better and enjoyed his presence.

It baffled you to discover the lanky boy with thick-rimmed rectangular glasses and who wore velcro shoes listened to Nas and Eminem. Did you mention that he had a bowl cut? Because he did.

He only fascinated you, even more, wanting to befriend you, not realizing he would be one of the most influential people in your life. He quickly became your best friend, and you were inseparable. You graduated high school and college together and even were roommates for many years.

You never saw life without him, your best friend.

Being together more than half of your life, Namjoon didn’t realize the day he met you was the first sign of him falling in love with you.

“Why do you have so much sugar?” Namjoon questioned, observing you next to him when you pulled out a ziplock bag of sugar packets. You pulled one out and ripped it open. You shook the pouch over your mouth, collecting the sweetener on your taste buds. He unapologetically grimaced at you.

“It’s a snack; also, since my mom said I’m too young to drink coffee, I took all of the sugar in our house since I get so much energy.” You simply explained, offering him a packet.

He paused and sighed, joining you in eating packets and packets until you both were a giggling mess.

You were pretty odd, almost lacking social cues, but he couldn’t be one to talk since he was awkward himself. Your aura was not something he was used to, but he never regretted it and grew to love your unusualness. It was one of the characteristics of why he loved you dearly. 

Your bright smile, aggravating yet endearing personality, and how much you gave yourself to others wholeheartedly created a rippling effect on his heart. But almost too much as it lets you get hurt by others. 

He remembered the day you came home with shedding tears falling on your face. He was working on a group essay in your shared living room with Jimin, a friend and peer from his classes, when a loud bang disrupted their concentration.

“He cheated on me!” You sobbed as you dropped your things to the wooden floor. You quickly spotted your best friend and tackled him. You clutched onto his shirt, pushing your head into his chest with your cries staining the fabric.

Without second-guessing, Namjoon wrapped his arms around your fragile form, kissing your hair. He rubbed your back as you continued to sob at your broken heart. He eyed Jimin, apologizing for the interruption, but he understood. The shorter man gestured for him to text him later before departing your home.

After your weeping died down, you explained how you saw your boyfriend of seven months cuddling and making out with another girl at a coffee shop on the other side of the city from where you lived. With the bit of courage you had, you confronted Seokjin and threw your boiling hot tea at him before running away.

Namjoon was angry for you and wanted to beat Seokjin up for doing this to you. But what’s worse, this wasn’t the first time something had happened. You were hurt by many others before because you gave too quickly; you gave the benefit of the doubt to those undeserving of it.

You tried your best to learn from your mistake and took extra precautions, but somehow the next man in your life gets trickier and more conniving than the last.

“Why does this happen to me?”

You sat on your apartment complex’s rooftop, looking at the bright glowing city. It was past midnight; Namjoon thought it was a great idea to get some convenience store snacks and ramen while you get some fresh air.

“Like was I a descendent of Judas?” You rhetorically asked.

“I’m not a theology major, but I don’t think Judas had any children.” He pointed out as he slurped his noodles.

You glared at him and his intelligence, “Don’t correct me now.” You slammed your ramen bowl on the makeshift table made from a stack of wooden pallets. “I thought he was the one.”

“I know you’re hurt, flower. Hurt is only temporary. You’ll heal; it’ll take time, though. It’s really shitty that it happened to you.” His comforting words eased your emotional state, using his nickname for you.

It wasn’t anything cute. He only does it because you told him you used to eat flowers when you were younger. Your parents were scared and brought you to the hospital, it was a whole thing, but he liked to pick on you and made sure you wouldn’t forget your stupidity.

“Is there something wrong with me? Be honest.” You genuinely asked. Your puffy eyes met his, waiting for his response.

He stared at you. Underneath the full moon and the illumination from the cityscape, faint shadows fell onto your features. Your irises sparkled with the dimming sense of hope in you. He hated seeing you like this, seeing the light in you slowly giving up.

He placed down his bowl before reaching for your hands. He intertwined your fingers together, comparing the size difference between you two. He grinned lightly, but enough to display the dimples on his cheeks.

“Seokjin was stupid and never realized what was before him.” He answered, licking his lips and tasting the spice of the meal. Your mouth curled at his words, holding his fingers tightly around yours. “Nothing is wrong with you, just your taste in men.”

“Hey!” You let go of him and slapped his shoulder, pouting your lips. “Stop it!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” He chuckled, putting his hands in surrender. 

“I’m questioning why you’re my best friend.” You seethed through your teeth.

“Flower, you’re one of the most special people.”

You snorted at his comment, “Nice try.”

“It’s true.” He countered. His smile faded a little, noticing your lack of confidence. “Special people like you will get infinite wishes that your little heart desires. Everything you hope for will come true. You’ll get what you truly deserve, flower. It’ll just take time.”

You gazed back at him. The twinkling lights in your pupils appeared at his reassurance. “Thank you, Joon. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

It was a common exchange between you two, but little did Namjoon know, it held a deeper meaning.

Though Seokjin never saw what was in front of him, Namjoon never noticed what he had until it was too late.

-

Years passed, and you eventually moved on from your heartbreak, having Namjoon by your side. You seemed happier and cheerful while he watched you. But you never were with anyone ever since.

You went on to bigger and better things, like landing a high-paying corporate job after college. Namjoon also was doing well, from being an intern climbed his way to the top in being the art curator at the national museum. You were both proud of each other and your accomplishment, always cheered one another on when times got tough.

However, despite your successes, you agreed it was time to move out of your janky apartment and part ways. It was a harsh transition since you’ve seen each other every day for over ten years, but you made it work. You promised to text and call every day and update anything that happened.

Namjoon could never leave you and you the same back. Again, you and he were inseparable.

You two scheduled dinner at the end of the week. Ever since you got promoted, your schedule restricted you from spending time with him, but you kept your promise to call and text. Namjoon was currently working on his first major project for the museum and was excited to tell you all about it. You couldn’t wait either.

But for now, he had lunch with Jimin at a café since the shorter finally had time in his hectic residency life.

“It was so wild. I saw anything like it before.” Jimin talked about a patient he had and their diagnosis, Hanahaki Disease.

Jimin explained how Hanahaki Disease was this exponentially progressing illness that stemmed from unrequited love. Flowers–the popular indication of the disease–bloom in the person’s lungs and heart and can only be intensified. His patient had stage four of this Hanahaki Disease.

“I’ve read about it in the books, and cases were rare. Seeing it first hand was very tragic.” Jimin sighed, recalling his experience.

“What does stage four mean?” Though Namjoon was skeptical, he was interested in this so-called disease.

“It means the roots from the flowers have grown into his respiratory system. He came in choking on his blood and coughing up sunflowers.”

“Why sunflower?”

“It was his wife’s favorite flowers.” Jimin’s face gloomed lower. “Poor guy caught her cheating, and the painful love was too strong.”

Namjoon hissed at the thought, “I feel for him.”

“Yeah, so at that point, he either dies or gets surgery to remove the roots.” The shorter concluded. “Sorry for the depressing story, but I can’t stop thinking about it.”

“You’re good, man,” Namjoon reassured. “Though you saw it, it’s quite an unusual diagnosis, don’t you think? I mean, doesn’t it sound far-fetched? Like love really made that happen?”

“It does, but you won’t think that way if you saw it in front of you. Love can do a lot to someone.” Jimin reasoned back. “There’s little evidence on it, but it does happen.”

The pairing sat in silence, processing the tragic story. Namjoon wondered how severe love has to be for you to end up like that. He had never really experienced that kind of love before; it wasn’t hard to love, in his opinion, but loving someone had to be chosen wisely and thoughtfully. Love shouldn’t hurt. 

“Anyways, besides me and flower vomiting patients, how are you and the art life?” Jimin changed the subject to a lighter feel. He knew about Namjoon’s project and was impatient to see the final product. “How’s the project? What was it about again?”

“It’s going great. Stressful, but I’m enjoying every bit of it.” He smiled, thinking about his passion. “I guess your story was a great transition to my project. It’s about love. Various meanings and interpretations of love worldwide, so I’ve been obtaining many pieces overseas to display them.”

“Ahh, so you’re gonna get typical ones like The Kiss by Gustav Klimt or that one by Picasso?” Jimin semi-mocked, incorporating very little knowledge about art.

“No, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Namjoon rolled his eyes, munching on his salad. “The museum wanted me to go through a different approach and find more modern and recent artists.”

“So, like up and coming artists?” The shorter asked, and he hummed in response. “I guess, what type of approach are you having with love?”

“Well, love is more than a feeling. It’s hard to put into words. It’s an essence that can be explained through various points of view.”

“Yeah, Mr. Smartass. Stop being so technical!”

“I’m just saying! Love causes emotions. It’s a concept to profess desires and connectedness to someone within an individual, so that’s why that Hanahaki Disease seems exaggerated.” Namjoon argued his thoughts. “I’m not saying love doesn’t exist or anything. It’s here somewhere.”

“This is why you don’t have a girlfriend.” Jimin scoffed, leaning back into his chair. Namjoon ignored his comment like usual before his phone pinged a message.

It was you, and he was delighted to open it. A picture of your lunch, or rather lunches. He saw another plate from the opposite end of the table. It was probably Ryujin, your coworker buddy you spent your time with.

“Is that ___?” Jimin had a devilish smile on him.

“Yeah?? What about it?” Namjoon replied to you with, “Bruh, that looks bomb. Enjoy!” And locked his screen before paying attention to his friend before him. “You know we communicate a lot.”

“Yes, I know the many instances.” Jimin agreed. “But seeing you smile just by a text says more than you say. Actions speak louder than words!”

“Jimin, we’re not going through with this again.” The taller shook his head at his friend’s persistence. “I told you I don’t love her like that. She’s been my best friend for years!”

“Yeah, but I don’t see you giggling, kicking your feet, and twirling your hair thinking about me.” Jimin retorted, folding his arms over his chest. “You probably don’t notice it since you’ve been with her all this time, but you give one another so much, more than friends usually do.”

“Maybe, it’s just you because you end up sleeping with your opposite gendered friends.”

“Hey, that was three times! And I was drunk for two.”

“Point is that ___ and I have been best friends for years . Neither of us did anything like that in the time being and never will.”

“Because you never made a move and acknowledged yo—”

“Jimin.” Namjoon interrupted sternly, wanting to end this conversation. Jimin never understood your friendship with him and constantly suspected that there was something more than what met the eyes. He could sense it, but Namjoon refused to listen.

“Fine, I’ll stop.” Jimin sighed. “At least acknowledge my words.”

Namjoon gulped his iced coffee and thinned his lips, “Maybe.”

He should have listened.

-

After dinner, he took you to the museum. Due to his respected status, he had the privilege of possessing the keys to artistic treasures. It was a way for him to move back and forth with any work beyond the public hours. And because you had the privilege of being his best friend, you could see the Love exhibition he finalized that morning and now waiting for the official opening in two weeks.

The stepping of your heels echoed within the empty museum. Your eyes scanned through the beautiful artwork before you, enchanted by the different styles and meanings, yet they all revolved around one concept: love.

You stole little glances of Namjoon, his attention invested in the paintings as he passed by you. You appreciated his passion for his job, bringing purpose to his life and those around him. He gave you comfort and solace in your chaotic life, and no amount of gratitude can equate to his actions and words.

However, you were nervous around him this time, playing out what to say and do. Sure, he never cared before, but you were a bit self-conscious with this one. You wanted to approach it right. After all, what he said and did matters to you. He was important.

Your eyes landed on a particular piece, never seeing anything like it. The painting contained four bodies. Two of which embraced one another on top of a hill as birds and flowers bloomed around them. Hues resembled joy and, of course, love. As you shifted down the mountain, the third subject laid down, surrounded by colors of gloom and sorrow. Wilting flora consumed the body. The complete opposite of the couple on top. However, the final form was rather strange because you barely saw it. You could see the background behind it, almost like a ghost.

“I see you found my favorite piece in the exhibit.” Your best friend announced with a grin. You were too into the painting to realize he stood by you. He carefully inspected the artwork, absorbing the emotions it gave and the purpose of the artist’s creation. 

“Why is your favorite?” You wondered, your eyes still attentive to the piece.

“To be honest, I’ve met with the artist before during my work trip in Mexico. Great guy, his interpretations were so philosophical that it expanded my knowledge that it only left me wanting more from him.” Namjoon expressed. “This is my favorite piece because, for once, he had something that portrayed a specific visual he wanted to convey, and I’m also sure that many people can relate.”

“And that is?”

“It’s a story.” He began. “A depressing one. Once upon a time, a man and woman fell in love, and they lived happily ever.”

“That doesn’t sound too sad.” You chuckled.

“You didn’t let me finish.” He mentioned, making you shut your mouth. “As the couple danced to their love, they never realized that someone from afar also fell in love with her. That’s him.” He pointed to the covered body. “All the flowers he sent her returned to him, and he slowly died from it. The last body is him, but he’ll forever roam the world with this emptiness inside. But at the very least, he can stay afar, looking at her and seeing her happy.”

“Ouch, that fucking hurts.” You pouted at his description. No one should ever go through that.

“The painting is called Cien Años by Pepe Lafourcade.” He informed. “Pepe said if he lived 100 years, he’d think of her for 100 years.”

“Tragically captivating.” You nodded before shifting your eyes onto your best friend, who was already gazing at you.

Namjoon swore his world stopped by witnessing you and your very radiant form. You looked much healthier now, caring for yourself and enhancing your beauty more than yesterday but less than tomorrow. He observed a new necklace on you, perhaps a treat for your hard work, he assumed. You deserved it. You always did. He saw you like you were the only one in the world, his world.

And no one could compare to you.

He wished to be with you as long as he could.

His stare flustered you a bit; you’ve never seen anything like it. You thought you were seeing things and had some assumptions in your mind. But you merely pushed them because they weren’t necessary anymore.

You broke the eye contact as you focused on your feet. You had to speak to him. “Joon?”

“Yes, flower?” He crouched down, trying to find your eyes, laughing at how timid you were. It was peculiar to act like this with him. He didn’t want to say anything when you first met up. He wanted you to tell him naturally.

You gave up and finally faced him again. Your large doe eyes were his favorite; he never told you but enjoyed seeing them. “I have to tell you something. Something important.”

“Oh, how important?”

“Kinda big? Uh, serious, actually.”

“How so,” He was being playful, but that’s only because he was unaware of how much the words that came out of you will affect him in the long run.

“I’ve been dating this guy for the past six months…uhhh, Jungkook is his name, and I’m falling in love with him.”

Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook.

-

Namjoon’s attention focused on you as you reached the end of the aisle. Your father gave you a goodbye kiss before he lets go of you. You turned away from him and smiled gently, with giggles in between biting your lips. The unconditional true love flashed in your eyes.

But it wasn’t directed towards him.

Instead, it was for the man in front of him. The groom.

Jeon Jungkook.

The love of your life.

-

“I’m sorry, who?”

Namjoon was utterly stunned at what you just said. You were dating someone for a while, and you didn’t tell him? Your best friend? Now you’re in love with that guy?

“His name is Jungkook, and we—”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He felt offended and angry by your decision. It wasn’t like you. You told him everything. You told him about Seokjin the second you talked to him. The name was vaguely familiar. He had heard it before. Wait—

“Isn’t he your boss?” Namjoon asked incredulously.

“Well, not anymore. I got promoted and transferred to another department, remember?” You tried your best to explain yourself. “I mean, he technically is. He runs part of the corporation.”

“W-why? H-how?”

“We had to keep it a secret. I couldn’t tell you….”

“Couldn’t tell me? Me, your best friend?” He forced a laugh, but there was nothing funny in his tone.

“I’m sorry, I—”

“Flower, how could you be so fucking stupid like that? Don’t you know how dangerous that is?”

Namjoon regretted those words the second they came out of his mouth. Your facial expression said it all, insulted and hurt by your best friend. Your face became sour with your lips trembling. God, you hated how sensitive you were being. But like you said, what he said or did mean so much to you.

So it hurt when he didn’t support you.

He took a step towards you, but you stepped back. “___, I—”

“I thought you’d understand.” Your eyes were glossy, blinking away to fight the hurt from being released. You shook your head, “Like how my best friend usually is. I thought you would be supportive.”

Silence drowned you two. Namjoon had no words, all he could think about was how much he disappointed you. You said nothing and couldn’t bother dealing with him. Like what he told you if you didn’t want to deal with the situation right now, just walk away.

So you did, leaving him alone in the museum as you called Jungkook to pick you up.

-

Namjoon couldn’t comprehend what he was feeling right now. His breath shivered at this indescribable tension in his stomach and chest. His fingers were finicky, needing to do something to keep the thoughts at bay. But all through his mind was you. He remained unfocused, especially since you didn’t reply to his texts or answer his calls. The unknown of what you were doing and how you felt bothered him, distracting his brain away from everything around him.

You were in love with your boss, and he had no idea. He couldn’t recollect any hints or say about you dating someone. Sure, you’ve gotten happier, but he thought it was because of him…that you were spending your time with him…

If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t mad that you didn’t tell him. It was probably the rational thing to do since Jungkook was well-known in the business—Namjoon had to search him up. It was most likely to keep word from spreading, and no one knew. 

In fact, he was more uncomfortable than you were with someone. He has seen what happened to you in the past and didn’t want you to get hurt. He knew nothing about this Jungkook guy and feared the worst from him yet.

It was the night of the official opening of his exhibition, and you still weren’t talking. This was the longest you haven’t spoken to each other. It made Namjoon stay up at night running a busy mind. He started getting worried, thinking he fucked up your whole friendship and his shitty remarks. He was so upset with himself that he wasn’t feeling well.

Namjoon was weary for a couple of weeks, with a scratchy throat and a loss of appetite. It was probably stress from everything that was going on with planning and, of course, his dilemma with you. Hopefully, after tonight, he’ll be a little bit better. Though he begged to differ when he developed slight coughing in the morning.

The murmur of guests crowded the museum’s main lobby, some of the artists that he collected for the exhibit also attended. Unfortunately, Pepe wasn’t here due to conflicting schedules, but he gave his wishes to Namjoon.

People went up to him, admiring and congratulating him and his work. Namjoon could only smile politely and share his thanks. It was a big day for him, and if it was a success, it’d open him to a new world of the arts. Famous artists and museums would know him, and his approach to his work would get recognized by many.

Yet, his mood was down, hoping that a certain someone would see him on a day like this.

“Sup, bro!!” A few invitees glowered at the person for the loud disruption, but he did not care. “Calm down, don’t give me dirty eyes. I’m probably more educated than all of you combined.”

One of the security guards came toward his friend, “Excuse me, si—”

“It’s Dr. Park,” Jimin corrected before grabbing a flute of champagne from the waiter. The guard was about to protest, but Namjoon raised his hand, reassuring them that he was, unfortunately, an important guest. He winked cheekily at him through his slit-like eyes with his pride held high. Security glared at the doctor once more before leaving the premises.

“Jimin, don’t make a scene. It’s bad enough they see us together.” Namjoon exhaled, swirling his drink with a straw.

“How is it bad? We’re besties! I’m so proud of you.” Jimin shrugged but slowly changed his tone to a more serious one as he looked at his friend’s expression. “What’s wrong? You don’t look too good.”

“I’m fine, just been coughing since this morning.” Namjoon cleared his throat, but the shorter knew there was much more.

“Haven’t talked to her since?”

Namjoon sighed and nodded, “I’m worried I fucked our friendship.”

The doctor bit back his tongue. He needed to comfort his friend now, then tell him off later. “She’s upset, but it won’t be enough to stop your friendship. She’ll come around; she just needs time.”

“I know, but—” Namjoon swore he stopped breathing. From across the room, he spotted you. He didn’t think you’d come. His pupils dilated at your appearance. You were absolutely breathtaking like you were prized artwork in the museum, capturing the hearts of anyone who came by.

His heart weirdly skipped a beat.

Your eyes met his, then smiled at his success and waved. You headed in his direction. However, the closer you came, the more he realized you weren’t alone.

Hand in hand, a tall, strong-built man followed by you. His round eyes observed the area while his mouth was agape at the ambiance. His features were strong yet soft, and he looked approachable. He was around your age, reasonably young for someone running part of a whole corporation.

“Joon,” You greeted before letting go of the man to hug your best friend. You shocked him, his body stiffening up, then relaxing at your familiar warmth and comfort. He wrapped his arms around you, firming his grip. “Congratulations!”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His eyes watered up, not realizing that he had held back tears since that night. You were finally here with him, and the emotions let loose.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad anymore.” You promised as you pulled away to look at his face. Some tears fell down to which you wiped them off with your gentle thumbs. “I’m sorry I didn’t reply; that was a bitch move.” 

“No, you had every reason.” He begged to differ. “I didn’t even give you a chance to speak.”

“Next time, we’ll communicate better.” You proposed, and he nodded quickly, knowing that your friendship remained strong as ever.

“Yay, you made up. What about me?” Jimin pushed his way into you. You giggled and hugged him too.

“Hello, Dr. Park. Long time no see, looking dangerous as ever.” You said.

“Hello, ____. Long time no see, Looking ravishing as ever. And yes, always dangerous, but no one needs to know.” He smiled boldly, then shifted his attention to the man biting his lips, holding a bouquet. “Who might this be?”

All your attention goes towards the newcomer, bulging his eyes but letting out a bunny-like smile. Carrying some flowers with one hand, he used the other to wave and bow.

“This is Jungkook…my boyfriend.” You revealed to the two men.

Right on cue, Namjoon coughed harshly. He gulped some water and tried clearing his throat again. You raised an eyebrow at him, but he gave you an okay signal.

“Jungkook, this is Namjoon.”

Jungkook handed you the bouquet, then he went up to the taller man and shook his hand with both of his, “Hello, Namjoon. It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard nothing but great things from this one.” He gestured to you. Namjoon accepted the greeting and nodded silently. He needed to be civil, at least for now.

“And this one is Dr. Park Jimin.” You presented. “Remember, he’s a doctor.”

“And don’t you forget about it,” Jimin added on. Jungkook shook his hand as well. “I heard of your corporation. I saw on the news that you opened two new shelters for mothers and children. You do great work.”

Jungkook blushed and smiled, “Oh, yes. Thank you. It was a hard process, but I hope to do more of them in the future.”

“Oh, these are for you.” You said, passing the bouquet to your best friend.

Namjoon inspected the flowers—daisies, his favorite flowers because they were your favorite.

“This is a celebratory gift for your first solo exhibit and an apology.” You continued gazing at your best friend, trying to communicate telepathically, which Namjoon was fully aware of.

Somehow that hinted Jungkook into saying, “Dr. Park, do you think you can accompany me to the hors d’oeuvres? Let’s leave these two to talk.”

Impressed at his request, Jimin nodded, enjoying the man so far. The shorter glanced at Namjoon to give him some good luck before joining Jungkook’s food adventure.

There, you both were alone but not really knowing how to start this. This was the longest you’ve been apart, let alone fight like that. In fact, you rarely fought. There was nothing that came in between you two until now.

“He seems nice,” Namjoon commented about your new…boyfriend. “His mannerisms are a bit mechanical, though.”

You let out a chuckle, “He’s nervous. He wants to impress you.”

“Big CEO wanting to impress a small-time art curator? That’s new.”

“Well, big CEO knows that the art curator means a lot to me.” You went along with his saying. “He wants you to like him.”

“Why would he care about what I think?” Namjoon muttered, feeling a bit jittery. He held the bouquet tightly to keep his movements in control.

“Because he knows that I care about what you think.” You replied. “He was sad when I told him how you reacted because he was afraid. He doesn’t want you to think badly of him.”

“Not wanting to compare, but it’s hard not to after how many before he treated you.” He frowned as he said his thought out loud. “I don’t want you to get hurt, flower.”

You smiled softly at his care towards you. That’s what you loved about him. “Joon, he’s not going to hurt me. I can tell you that.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I made the first move.” You revealed. “And though he’s stern and serious about his work—bless his soul—he is so shy, Joon. He was a nervous wreck, confessing his crush on me. It felt like I was in high school.”

Namjoon couldn’t imagine it. At first, he didn’t think that shyness would be a characteristic of Jungkook. Then again, he doesn’t know anything about him. He didn’t accept him at all, probably not anytime soon for safety precautions. 

“He’s the first man in a long time for me, and I’ve been careful. He’s been careful. I actually asked him to keep it between just us two because I didn’t want my coworkers knowing about our relationship.” You elaborated. “But he suggested to at least tell our loved ones if we wanted to be serious with each other.”

“You’re serious with him?” Namjoon spoke softly. A sharp, quick pain pushed through his stomach, leaving an unpleasant feeling. Yet he didn’t try showing it; he didn’t want you to worry about him.

You nodded at the thought of Jungkook being steady with you. “Yes, that’s why I was afraid of telling you about him. I wanted you to accept him too.”

He coughed again, shaking his head. “I’m accepting of him, yet if I’m being honest. But I’ll try to.”

“He knows about my past too, and he swore he’s not like that.” He coughed harshly this time. You handed him some water that he accepted. “Joon, are you okay?”

Namjoon chugged the cup down and exhaled slowly. “Yeah, I think I have an upset stomach. I got a bad cough from this morning.”

“Make sure you take care of yourself, okay? I don’t wanna beat you up if you’re not being healthy.” You scolded, and it only made him laugh.

“I’ll be fine, flower. It’s just been stressful, from the event and our time apart.”

Your mood died a little, being guilty about what you did. “I’m sorry again. I promise to never do that again.” You grabbed his hand to squeeze some comfort in him.

His body got hit with another blow, but he bit his lips to dull the pain. “You worry too much, flower. It wasn’t your fault. You were also worried about me, too, no?”

You nodded, “I was. I care for you too much not to.”

“The feeling is mutual.” He reassured. “Then we should just enjoy the night and days to come.”

You couldn’t help but hug him. You missed him so much, crying to Jungkook about him. He knew you cared for your best friend and hoped that you two would reconcile. 

“I love you, Joon.”

“I love you too, flower.”

Again, a standard practice, but Namjoon didn’t realize his love changed from yours. 

-

Namjoon couldn’t hate Jungkook.

The more he was around the guy, the more he realized how chaotically sweet Jungkook was. He was just like you, an odd presence but very lovable. The only thing he hated about him was that he kept winning at everything, yet he was still humble about it.

Jungkook made initiatives to hang out with you and your friends from time to time just so he could understand your life and engage with those you loved. He hung out with him and Jimin, too, without you, and it was a fun guy’s night. He put so much effort into what he wanted, and he did it with ease. It was easier to like him.

Your relationship was growing healthy, and Namjoon was happy for you. You needed something like this, and he could only hope that Jungkook would continue that with you.

On the other hand, Namjoon has been on a stump. First of all, his event was a huge success. His networking multiplied, getting busy with upcoming projects. He’s been traveling internationally, attending conferences and parties, meeting other curators like him, and even making new friends like Jung Hoseok, who was overseas as a curator in Madrid.

So what was his stump?

Well, for a few months now, Namjoon has had this stomach flu. He’s been getting random fevers, uncontrollable shaking, sharp pains in his chest or abdomen, and not eating regularly.

The worst part of it all was his cough. It didn’t improve since that night, it seemed to have gotten worse. He felt the need to scratch his throat, even having the urge put his fingers down his mouth and take care of the itch himself.

He went to the doctors, and they assumed the same. They provided him more potent medication every visit, but it didn’t feel like it was working. Was it because he was growing older? Did he need to start working out and caring for his body like that? It was bothering him, distracting him from his work, and he couldn’t do anything about it. 

If only he knew, his condition worsened with time.

-

“And now for the bride and groom to say their vows.” The ordained minister proceeded.

Before you proclaimed your love, you held your hands with Jungkook’s, focusing on him. You took deep breaths, collecting your memorized speech that you suddenly forgot. Your eyes told that you were stuck, but Jungkook helped you.

“Anything you say, I will love for. Hell, you can call me irritating and I’d say thank you.” Little giggles responded to the groom’s joke. You rolled your eyes, then remembered why you loved him in the first place.

“When I first met you, I was afraid of loving again. I was hurt and disappointed so many times. I don’t even know how many tears I shed throughout that journey. I felt like giving up and never loving again.” You started your vows. “But then you changed that for me. Though I was scared, you helped me back up and had so much patience with me. I don’t know how you do it. Jimin even questioned it.”

Namjoon looked back and saw his shorter friend nod to your speech before putting his eyes back on you.

“You brought nothing but joy in my life. Yes, we went through difficult times, but we made it out, and I know we’ll do that again in our marriage. You’ve accepted not only me into your life but also my family and friends you’ve grown to love.” You sniffled, not wanting to cry, but you just had to. “Thank you for loving me at my best and even my worst. Thank you for not giving up on us. You are the love of my life, and you make me happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I ever thought was possible.”

Namjoon heard sniffing from Jungkook, who let out tears faster than you. Upholding the role as best man, he kept tissues in his back pocket just in case. He pulled them out and tapped on Jungkook’s shoulder. The groom accepted the gesture and handed one to you and then to him. 

“I vow to honor you, listen, laugh with you, and cry with you. I just hope you do the same back. You make me so proud, proud to be called your wife. I love you, Jeon Jungkook. I can’t wait to spend my life with you.”

-

Namjoon didn’t know when it started in terms of the other symptoms, but he remembered the first time he specifically saw it.

Jimin threw a Christmas party at his house and invited people you didn’t really know besides him, Jungkook, and Namjoon. Everyone else was people from the hospital he trained at, his party friends, the list went on. Nevertheless, it was a casual party with cute little games he had prepared.

You, Jungkook, and Namjoon talked amongst yourself in the corner. You and Jungkook had matching grinch Christmas sweaters. After a year of being together, you and Jungkook were more comfortable in front of people with your relationship. A few kisses and hugs here and there, but you liked to keep your relationship with him private.

Still, the public display of affection was prominent, and it disgusted Namjoon. It may seem like a joke to others, but it really did gross him out. Whenever you cuddled up onto one another or just plain out kissed, Namjoon’s upset stomach or chest murmurs intensified.

Like now, he kissed your cheek, and Namjoon felt a dig in his torso. His face turned sour, exhaled slowly as he palmed the ache.

“Namjoon, are you okay?” Jungkook looked at him with concern. “Are you having chest pains again?”

“Yeah, but it’s gonna go away again.” Namjoon brushed it off. “It comes and goes from time to time.”

“Did you go to the doctor again?” You asked.

“Yes, flower. I went the other day. Since I told him about my chest, they had me do an x-ray. They said they’ll call me, but I don’t think it’ll be any time soon ‘cause of the holidays.”

“The holidays shouldn’t be an excuse to keep my best friend from being healthy.” You pouted, earning laughs from your boyfriend and best friend.

“Honey, don’t worry too much.” Jungkook patted your head. “Namjoon is grown to make his own decisions and choose what to worry about.”

“I’m gonna have to agree with, JK, flower.” Namjoon agreed. “Plus, we’re still young. I’m sure whatever they find, it’ll be easy to fix. There are also not many health issues on both sides of my family, so I’m chilling.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, “Your ease is so annoying sometimes.”

After that conversation, Jimin chimed in and pulled all three of you to a game of “Nogpong.” The four were split into pairs: You and Namjoon and Jimin and Jungkook. Losers had to do what the winners said.

Jungkook and Jimin had experience playing these games, but you and Namjoon’s teamwork was unmatched. The teams went back and forth, missing cups, shooting them while making the opposing chug the eggnog down.

Your team had two cups left while they had five. It was your turn to throw a ball. Jimin threw insults at you to distract your concentration, but you tried to ignore that little man. You threw the ball, earning another point.

“You suck.” Jimin spat back before downing the drink.

It was now Namjoon’s turn. He focused on the final cup, being so close to winning. But his coughing grew harshly at that moment, sounding like it hurt. There was so much phlegm that he grabbed a napkin from a tissue box to cough up. He expectorated all he could into the tissue, ultimately feeling better. But when he saw the content in the cloth, his pupils dilated in shock.

What he thought was mucus was actually blood. He noticed that he could taste the unpleasant taste of iron in his mouth. He gulped down the remnants and stuffed the trash in his pocket without thinking.

“Some cough, Joon. Are you sure you’re okay?” You furrowed your brows at him.

“Flower, I’m okay.” He said again. “Let’s just finish the game.”

You weren’t as convinced, but you had to let it slide for his sake.

Namjoon nodded towards the guys about how he felt before going back to the game. He shot it into the cup with ease, cheering at the close win. All you had to do was score in the same cup.

It was all on you now. If you make this, victory was yours and Namjoon's. Sure, there was nothing to lose, but bragging rights were substantial to you. You held your breath and threw the ball.

You won!

You and Namjoon yelled like deranged individuals, celebrating your alcoholic game victory. Jungkook and Jimin took their loss like champs as they shook hands.

Namjoon held you by the waist and jumped in joy as you threw meaningless insults at your boyfriend and friend. In this position, something in Namjoon sparked. He watched you bad-mouthed them, but you looked so elegant, so beautiful doing it. He saw the fluttering of your lashes, the curve of your nose, and the soft plush that was your lips.

You being in his arms was so soothing. The warmth you produced heated his larger frame. It felt so right. He wished to stay like this forever with you. 

But those thoughts caused a downward spiral in his stomach. His head was light. He immediately turned green, his chest feeling like it had been shot multiple times. His throat was open as everything he consumed started moving up. He pushed away aggressively as he covered his mouth, running to the nearest bathroom.

He disregarded the calls at him as he slammed the door open. He rushed to the toilet and pulled up the lid before vomiting everything in him. He purged so explosively that he thought his eyeballs would pop out of his head, and snot ran down from his nose and onto the top of his lip. He felt the sweat dripping down his face. Damn, this was the worst complication yet.

The three of you followed behind him while you took the lead. You bent towards your friend and rubbed his back as he threw up. You both stayed like that for a few minutes. Jimin had to go back to calm his guests down while Jungkook went to get water for Namjoon.

“Namjoon, do you want us to take you home?” Jungkook asked. “We can bring your car back too?”

Namjoon couldn’t say no. He knew he didn’t feel good, so he nodded.

“Let me grab your things, Joon.” You stood up and lightly patted his back. “I’ll come back quick.” You said before leaving with Jungkook.

He retched up once more, releasing all he had left closed eyes. When he opened the inside, his heart dropped. He thought his vision deceived him. No way could this happen. It was impossible. There was no reason to have it.

What he assumed he puked was the pasta and wine from the party was actually more blood. But that wasn’t the most alarming.

He always thought of them as simple and beautiful to look at, appealing to the eye, but it was hard to think of daisies in that way when his blood coated the fresh petals, and they came out of his body.

Namjoon was now lying in bed, wide awake and petrified. He was dubious, couldn’t find common ground in what he experienced. Maybe he was hallucinating; the very reason was that he wasn’t feeling so well. Maybe the blood-covered daisies were seen to cover up the horrible sight of regurgitated Alfredo pasta. But the sickly fragrant scent of the flowers begged to differ.

Okay, if he were to have it, how did he get it? He needed answers. He wasn’t in love with anyone, right? He never loved anyone like that. The only people he loved were his family. Sure, Jimin was fucking annoying, and he loved the dude, but he was in love with him.

The only person left was you and…no. He didn’t, he couldn’t, he shouldn’t. He can’t . There was no damn way.

He refused to believe.

Yet Namjoon remembered it clear as day.

An urgent early call from his doctor’s office sent him waiting in the examination room. He was restless, with dark bags under his worn-out eyes. He didn’t even bother to change. He was in his Ryan bear pajamas.

He scrolled through his phone, seeing the multiple texts from you and Jimin. You both were worried and wished him to get better while greeting him a wonderful Christmas. You sent a bomb of pictures of you and Jungkook with hearts to cheer him on, and it was enough for his heart to throb. He locked his phone and threw it in his pajama pocket. 

His doctor, Dr. Min, came back into the room with a stoic expression as he read Namjoon’s file. “Good morning, Mr. Kim. I apologize for the short notice, especially on Christmas. But I just had to meet with you.”

“No need to apologize, Dr. Min.” The man said. “I was kinda glad you called. I—” He paused, trying to regulate his breathing. “I wanted to confirm.”

The doctor raised an eyebrow, “Did something happen recently?”

Namjoon bit his lips and nodded, getting antsy at the anticipation he caused. “I vomited, and I-I saw…blood and…,” He couldn’t say it. If he said it, he feared that it would come true.

Dr. Min didn’t let him finish his sentence as he nodded. Pulled out of his file was his recent x-ray. He brought it to the mounted screen and turned the lights on, displaying the condition of Namjoon’s body.

Roots grew through his lungs and around his heart. The silhouette of stems flourished all over his respiratory while the flowers weren’t as developed but expected to bloom soon. Bits of petals scattered around rested on his sternum with the most on his heart.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon. You’ve been diagnosed with stage three of Hanahaki Disease.” Dr. Min declared. “I know this is hard for you to take in, but I would like to tell you that my staff and I will do our best to help you in your next steps. But first, I’d like to ask you a few questions. Is that alright with you?”

Namjoon stayed silent, viewing his x-ray. He could only nod as the pain consumed his form. This was the truth, the reality he was living in.

“Do you know how long you’ve experienced symptoms?”

He shook his head.

“You did say you’ve been coughing for a while. Is that still happening?”

He nodded. 

“When you coughed, was there blood?”

He nodded.

“Did you find petals?”

He shook his head.

“But when you threw up, there were petals?”

He nodded.

“When you vomited, was that the first time?”

He nodded.

“Do you love them?”

That very question snapped him out of his trance. He scowled at his doctor, wondering why he asked a personal question.

“Excuse me, Dr. Min. But isn’t that personal?” Namjoon couldn’t help but spit venom. He just found out he has a severe illness, and now his doctor wanted to know about his love life?

“It may seem personal, but this disease connects to love.” Dr. Min explained. “Namjoon, it’ll only worsen if you don’t admit it. That’s why the flowers are developing rapidly.”

He looked at his doctor, holding his stare. His eyebrows scrunched on his forehead with a large frown upon his mouth. Dr. Min waited patiently for his response, knowing what was gradually happening to him.

Thinking deeply about the question, his consciousness popped with a vague image. The picture subtly grew vivid at each second. Colors were lively, edges were pronounced, and the shapes were visible. By the time it was clear and detailed, a memory flashed in his very mind.

He stood on top of a roof. Inspecting around him, he realized it was his old apartment building years back. He saw the crowded shining city spanning across his vision. Buildings stood high and lit, groups of people walking down the streets, but still, he could only hear the soft white noise of the night. Light instrumental music resonated through the rooftop. It was all nostalgic. He missed the view, but more importantly, he missed the memories made here.

“Joon, dance with me,” A gentle voice begged as a small hand tugged his relatively larger one.

His head turned, presenting him with the prettiest, perfect sight. The glow in your skin shined brighter than the moon and sun combined. Your large glittering irises electrified his entire being. Your laugh rippled goosebumps on him, filling his body with sensation. Your smile captivated his very mind and soul. You intertwined his fingers with yours, your warmth coursing through his veins.

Everything about this was perfect. He never wanted to leave. He wished to stay like this forever. He loved every feeling. He loved every minute. He loved the memory. He loved the vision. But essentially—

He loved you.

Namjoon was in love with you, has been this entire time.

But you didn’t love him back.

You were in love with someone else.

The confession only brought painful tears to him as he let his emotions run loose. He scrunched his nose, sniffing uncontrollably. His mouth quivered hopelessly as little whimpers escaped. His gaze went down to his lap, noticing his trembling hands.

He never thought of the day he finally understood what love was. He was too analytical with his beliefs in the past. But he also gave himself some credit. Love was still an essence that powered emotions. All these interpretations and meanings were interconnected. You couldn’t have this without the other. It was more than a concept, more than a feeling.

Love was larger than life itself. Love was greater than anything in the whole universe. It was impossible to put a limit to love. 

Perhaps, Jimin was right. 

Love can do a lot for someone. 

-

Namjoon refused to tell anyone about his condition. Not only did he have to say to them that he was slowly dying from unrequited love, but he would have to reveal his true feelings for you.

He couldn’t deny them any longer, he loved you with all his heart, and it was killing him. But if it had to be anyone to do it, it had to be you.

He knew he couldn’t tell you. You would blame yourself, crying to him that you wished you would have loved him back. But you did love him.

Just not in the way he loved you. It wasn’t your fault at all. You were the type to make anyone fall in love with you. Namjoon had to just be part of that statistic. 

He knew he couldn’t have you, you were with Jungkook, and you loved that man dearly. He was good to you, the best even, probably more than Namjoon would have done. 

For the following months, he continued occupying his life with work. He had to focus on things other than you since you were on his mind every waking moment. He thought it was best to keep his distance. Maybe the flowers inside him wouldn’t flourish rapidly.

But you were adamant in keeping him close. You confronted him, going to his work. Your irritation dissolved once you saw his sunken face and the dark in his eyes. He convinced you that he wasn’t eating adequately since he was constantly working. Then you begged him to have lunch with you, and he couldn’t say no to you. He was too weak.

Too weak for you.

He gave in and, at the very least, texted and called you, but less than before. Sure, he hung out with you and Jungkook but was less engaged. Lately, when you asked to hang out, he told you he was busy or needed to fly out last minute.

When in reality, he went to the hospital for his condition.

“You’ve been taking the prescription, correct? Three times daily?” Dr. Min inquired. And Namjoon nodded. The doctor examined the man, he looked weaker, but somehow his body was stronger in motor and movement than the regular people who had this illness. 

Hanahaki Disease cases were rare and the first for Dr. Min’s long-time patient to be diagnosed. It wasn’t as successful, but when it did, there were still some downfalls, but the individual would be okay in the end. The doctor felt the need to provide the best for him, not fathoming what he was going through. 

“Good, it helps the flower wilt. It doesn’t stop the process completely, but it gives more time.” Dr. Min clarified. “Your bodily functions are still running normally, so that’s good. But I can’t say you’re getting any better….”

His health was deteriorating, the symptoms increased, and not a day went by without him coughing or throwing up petals. 

“I know, doc.” Namjoon sighed. A nurse came in to check his blood pressure. 

“Since you’re at a high stage in this, it’s hard for a cure unless….”

“No.” The man interrupted, knowing what he was going to say. “She’s been dating a friend for a while now. Great guy and loves her dearly..”

Dr. Min noted and nodded carefully at his response. “There’s also surgery. Many people who were diagnosed refuse to take it; that’s also why the fatality of Hanahaki is high. However, a small percentage who do, don’t feel love for the other person. But there are consequences.”

“Like what?”

“It is likely you will never feel love again. The memories of your love for that person won’t exist anymore.”

“Isn’t that worse?” Namjoon knitted his brows. He feared a life without loving, without loving you. He’d probably feel empty inside, lingering around like a ghost. “How can someone live on without love?”

“I…I don’t know.” And for once, Dr. Min didn’t have the right answer. Namjoon accepted what he said; it wasn’t his doctor’s fault. He was only suggesting possibilities. “It’s just another option because, at this rate, the illness is going into the four-stage.”

“And what happens at that stage?”

“If something were to happen that speeds it up, the flowers would bloom all over your lungs, and you will die before the end of the year.”

-

To live without love or to die with love.

A question that has been running through the mind of Kim Namjoon. He didn’t have much time left, but he couldn’t get himself to make a decision.

Obviously, he didn’t want to die. There was still much more for him to do. He wouldn’t be able to do what he wanted. But…a life without love? How would that be plausible? No human would walk on Earth with no love in their body because everyone has to love something or someone deep down.

But the thing that heated his mind was never loving you. He has fallen in love with you since you both were 11. Every drop of love in his body was for you. You were the one who would give meaning to his memories. How would he survive moving on after you?

Namjoon was deep in thought when fingers snapped in front of his face. He blinked back into his surroundings. He was in his office, trying to email Hoseok about some future collaborations.

The culprit, Jimin, rested on one side of his body with his hands on his hips. He had a concerned yet annoyed face on him as he inspected Namjoon. “You’re wasting our precious lunchtime together zoning out.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes, quickly finishing up the email and sending it to his fellow art curator. As they walked up the street to the cafe, Jimin couldn’t help but take multiple takes at his friend.

“Stop staring. I’m not a fucking picture.” Namjoon caught his friend’s gaze.

“Dude, you don’t look so good.”

“Wow, thanks. That definitely helps with my self-esteem.”

“Stop joking. I’m serious.” Jimin refuted. “You look sicker. You barely eat, and you keep having colds.”

“I told you, Jimin. I’ve been going to the doctor, and it’s just stress—”

“ I’m literally a doctor. I can tell that this is more than stress. If you have something and you’re not tell—” An incoming call from Namjoon stopped Jimin’s rant. The shorter’s mouth thinned as he faced forward, waiting for the crosswalk to turn green.

Namjoon pulled his phone out, assuming it was Hoseok. But it was actually Jungkook. He rarely called and usually preferred texting to his introverted self. Nevertheless, he answered and greeted the man.

“Hey, thanks for answering. I really needed your opinion or like help with something.” Jungkook spoke out.

“No problem, man.” Namjoon grinned. “You know I’m always here to help. What’s up?”

“Well, I don’t really know how to say this….”

“You literally sound like ___ right now. It’s baffling.”

“Ugh, I—okay, fine. Obviously, you know ___ and I are together and in love, right?” A pain in his chest hit hard as Namjoon cleared his itchy throat. The crosswalk turned green, and the two began walking across. He hummed in response for Jungkook to continue. “Well, I’m gonna propose to her, and I want you to help me with her ring. You know her taste better than I do and—”

Namjoon stopped. He couldn’t hear anything after that. Jungkook started to sound like the adults from the Peanuts series. The words “I’m going to propose to her” echoed in his brain, repeated like a broken record. Was he hearing it correctly?

“I’m sorry, what? You’re what?” Namjoon forced himself to ask, praying that what he said wasn’t true.

“I’m proposing to ____? I want you to help me with t—”

His vision went fuzzy, his head feeling heavier than normal. His mouth became dehydrated while breathing went rapid. Namjoon couldn’t control his body shaking; everything went numb. His eardrums inflated, unable to hear the horns honking but only a long ringing sound amplified within seconds.

Jimin reached the end of the crosswalk but looked back to see why wasn’t his large friend was by his side. Jimin let out a sob. He saw his friend fall forward, dropping his phone. He ran up as he watched Namjoon vomit blood in the middle of the street.

He got down on his knees in distress, rubbing his friend’s back as he pulled out his phone to call an ambulance. Some people crowded the scene, even going as far as getting out of their cars to help them.

While Jimin instructed the hospital on their location, Namjoon gagged harshly, feeling stuck with something burning through his throat, almost like it was too large to even consume, let alone retched up.

“Yes, please. We’re here at W 6th and Namu Avenue.” Namjoon pushed as hard as possible, and the content finally came out. “Perfect, thank you,” Jimin said before ending the call. “They’ll come in five mi—Joon.…”

With barely enough strength, Namjoon open eyes and turned to see his friend’s aghast expression. Jimin felt himself grieving over him, the tears burst out of control and ran down his reddened cheeks. So Namjoon looked away, unable to see his friend’s crying. Then he suddenly realized why—

There lay blood-stained daisies in the pool of crimson, enough to make a bouquet. Loose petals plastered around, mocking creating a large heart surrounding the arrangement.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jimin whimpered, resting his forehead on the taller’s back. He felt the tears staining his shirt, but that was the least of his problems.

-

“I’ll give you two some time alone,” Dr. Min told them. He looked at his sickly patient, then towards Jimin. “Maybe talk him into it.”

“Thanks, Hyung.” Jimin nodded. Dr. Min excused himself and closed the door while Jimin kept his eyes on his friend. 

After the incident, Namjoon lost consciousness. Jimin was there every step of the way and almost recklessly used his authority to get his friend help. Fortunately, Dr. Min was his supervisor and a good friend that came quickly when he found out what happened to his patient.

Namjoon woke up to them discussing his choices regarding this illness, but he stayed quiet and drank water. He knew Jimin was upset at him for not telling about his condition but was more afraid of him telling you , someone innocent in all of this.

“I know you’re still not feeling well, but I need to know, as your colleague, your friend, your brother, fuck as me! Someone who cares so much about you!” Jimin huffed, feeling frustrated at the situation. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

Namjoon chuckled, but nothing was light about it. “You really think I’d tell her? She’d blame herself, and it’s not her fault.”

“At least, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sure you’d say the same thing as Dr. Min….” Namjoon glowered, inspecting the needles and tubes attached to his wrist. “This is something that’s my problem. Because in all honesty, Jimin, what would you have done? You can’t tell me I shouldn’t love her. You can’t tell her to love me. There really wasn’t anything you could do.”

“But…but…I would have been there for you.” Jimin sniffed, his eyes glistening at the sight of his friend. “I would stay by your side even if you were getting worse. No one should go through this alone.” He walked up and gently clasped his hand, noticing how weak he’s gotten.

“How long since you’ve known?” Jimin licked his lips, trying to see any more pain in him.

“I don’t know, but the first time I saw flowers was during your Christmas party.”

“So you’ve been keeping this a secret for almost a whole year?” The shorter released his hold to pace around the room, having many emotions riling his body. “Joon, you’re dying, you know that? There’s no cure unless you do the surgery? Why haven’t you said yes?”

“Because there are consequences to it that I don’t know if I’d accept.” Namjoon had to stay calm. It was better this way, thinking it’d make his friends hurt a little less. “Why live a life without love?” Jimin kept silent, gathering his reasons for the hypothetical question. “The doctor said if I do the surgery, I can’t love again. Go on my life not loving? I’d live an empty life. I wouldn’t get married, have children, see them grow….”

“Technically, you still can.”

“Jimin, life would still be empty, and it would hurt everyone around me, including my parents, you, Jungkook, ___.” He cried at your name. “I can’t live without loving her. It’s hard. I loved her since I was 11, Jimin, and as it pains me to see her with someone else, I have to let her go.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that you’re dying!”

“And if I don’t love, I would be dead inside.” Namjoon smiled bitterly. “I lose either way.”

Jimin sighed, brushing his fingers through his hair. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying his best to talk to him. “While you were unconscious, I talked with Dr. Min. He explained to me how there was a recent study on post-surgery for Hanahaki. There were about ten subjects. The researcher found that despite the common knowledge of not loving, there’s a 50% chance that you may feel it again.”

Namjoon’s eyes glimmered towards his friend, “What? How’d you get this?”

“Yoongi Hyung didn’t know much about the illness, so he had to go through studies and experiments to learn more about it. He stumbled upon this one issued almost two years ago by one of the nation’s prestigious schools.” Jimin articulated what he absorbed from his superior. “There’s still hope for you.”

“Jimin, I don’t know…I don’t feel like gambling my life like that.” Namjoon was uncertain. He was stuck in the middle because either he loved again or didn’t. With the adversity he has been under, the universe wasn’t on his side on this.

“You’re not gambling your life; you’re finding reasons to live, to love.” Jimin reasoned. “You can do all the things you wish to do. You shouldn’t give up, Joon.”

“I-I need time to think this through….” He concluded. There was the temptation to all of it, but he needed to think carefully about his decision. Right now, he’s emotional, Jimin’s emotional; this whole thing is an emotional mess.

“Though Dr. Min can’t say this, I can. You don’t have much time left. That scene triggered you going into the final stage. I don’t want you to die.” Jimin spoke his thoughts. “But whatever decision you make, I’ll be right by your side.”

“Thank you, Chim.” Namjoon nodded. “D-did you tell her? About my condition?”

The shorter breathed out before shaking his head, “No, I thought you would be the one to tell her. But she does know you’re in the hospital. She and Jungkook are in the waiting room. I said you fainted and threw up on the street.”

“You can’t tell her about it, please.” Namjoon pleaded. “I don’t want her to take the blame. None of this is her fault.”

Not arguing with him, Jimin questioned, “So what do we say? You’re dying, and you can’t say you have a fever.”

“Just say I have a tumor.”

“I don’t know if that’s worse or not….”

“I technically do, except instead of a tumor, it’s fucking daisies growing in my lungs!” Namjoon retorted. “Look, whatever it is, she can’t know that I have Hanahaki because she’ll find out I’m in love. She can’t know this, please.”

Jimin bit inside his mouth, “Fine, I won’t tell her, but make your decisions on the surgery soon.”

-

“Oh, Joon!” You cried, rushing towards him. You threw your hands over his body and sobbed. Jungkook trailed behind with a stuffed koala with a ‘Get Well’ balloon, then Jimin was the last to come back in before closing the door. 

Namjoon didn’t like how sad you looked as he hugged you back. He caressed your hair before parting away to get a glimpse of you. You were whimpering, snot running down your nose, crocodile tears shedding, and the spark of pain yet relief in your eyes.

“Jimin told us what happened. We left work and sped here, we waited for hours, and… why didn’t you tell me you had a tumor?” You had so many questions, but this was taking priority.

Namjoon glanced at Jimin, who had his arms crossed over his chest. He nodded slightly, keeping the promise.

“Uhh, I didn’t want you to worry.” He answered softly.

“Now you’re in the hospital, on the brink of death!” You were hurt; he kept it from you, but more so, scared for his life. You didn’t want to lose your best friend.

“I’m sorry, it’s complicated…Doctor said I could go through surgery, but….”

“But? But what? Why don’t you?” You reached for his hands. It was a thing you used to do as children, and you did find a way to comfort each other.

But though it was comforting, it was also intensely painful for Namjoon.

His heart throbbed, but he contained the ache. He pushed your hands off of him and rested them on his lap.

“It’s just…it’s complicated.” He responded the best that he could without lying. He’s already lying so much more than he did in your entire friendship.

You stared at him, trying to comprehend what he said. You needed to understand, and you had a hunch that he wasn’t adequately telling you.

“Do you think you two can leave, so we can talk privately?” You rotated back at Jimin and Jungkook. The sense of desperation was oozing through your contact.

Jungkook nodded without missing a beat, understanding the privacy needed. He placed the koala on the table and mumbled reassurances to the taller. Jimin said nothing but followed your boyfriend out and closed the door behind him.

Now you two were alone.

It’s been a while since it was just you and him. You missed it. Though you tried your best, your days grew hectic, and schedules were tight, being unable to hang out with your best friend.

You observed his state, he lost the honey color in his skin, and the darkened puffs around his eyes were accentuated by his bloodshot eyes. His hair was matted and greased, not having its usual volume. His body looked thinner, seeing his bones popping out every now and then.

“I never would have thought you’d end up like this.” You spoke truthfully. “It pains me to see you like this, Joon.”

“I know, flower.” He agreed, not wanting to look you in the eye. It really could be damaging to him.

“Are you doubting the surgery? Is it the cost? The quality, because I can help you—”

“No, it’s not like that, flower. I promise.” Even at his weakest point, he strived to make you not worried for him. “It’s…there are consequences to the surgery that I don’t know if I could live with.”

“What do you mean?”

He tried getting himself together to come up with a reasonable explanation without saying too much, “The doctor said I’d lose feeling to some parts of my body.”

“And so…”

“So, I wouldn’t live my life the way I want to.” He sighed, thinking about his tender memories with you. His eyes started to swell at the possibility of it disappearing. “I would feel dead inside. I don’t know if I can survive like that.”

“Did he say anything else? Is there something that can counter that? I—was this only option?”

“He talked about some study on it and said there’s a 50% chance I could feel again. It’s just risky, you know? I’m shooting through hoops for it, and I’m….” His voice trembled in tone. “I’m tired. I’m tired of all of it. I wanna give up.”

“No, I refuse for you to give up.” You disapproved.

“No, it’s okay—”

“It’s not okay, Namjoon.” You seethed with rage, standing up from the bed.

“Look, flow—”

“No, I won’t let you. You used to tell me to never give up, stay hopeful, and that I’ll get better with time.” Your eyes welled with tears at the very thought of Namjoon giving up on himself. “Now that you’re giving up, you’re telling me to be okay with that?”

“Why not?” He bawled back.

There it was, what he’s been hiding from you—the loose, broken pieces shattered instead of being taped together like everything was fine.

When he first found out, he lost all hope in what he had to offer the world. He didn’t want to act upon being a human and grieve on his experience. It wasn’t like him. He wanted you to see him be okay and happy and work his way through life and obstacles with ease like he always wanted for you.

This was the first time you saw lost. 

“I’m already dying. What’s the point, ___?” He broke down. “I can’t be strong anymore. It made matters worse. Look, I failed myself. I failed you as your best friend. I’m really a failure. I’ve been blinded by hope and being content, not noticing that I’m getting worse.”

You took in his words, trying to understand him. You saw him fall into a pit of insecurity and despair. It was scary for you, this being one of the few times you saw him like this. It was usually the other way around, and for that, you needed to be there for him. Comfort him like he did with you, care for him like he did with you, continuing on his side with love and support.

“Remember when Seokjin cheated on me, I asked you why things like that happened?” You pointed out, taking a step to sit back down.

“Yeah, you were a mess. You couldn’t stop crying.”

“Yeah, but I slept good that night.” You chuckled, earning a slight smile from him. “You said hurt is temporary, and you’ll heal from it.”

“Wow, I said that. I must have been a liar.” He joked, causing you to snort at his self-deprecation. He shifted his head out to the window, the sun setting for the day, bringing a soft, warm hue into his bleak room. 

“No, you were telling the truth, and things got better.” You said. “But then I asked you if something was wrong with me because bad things kept happening.”

“What about it? There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“You called me one of the most special people out there.” You grinned, reaching over to his hands and intertwining them into yours. “If I’m one of the most special, Namjoon, you’re irreplaceable.”

He finally faced you. Your face was touched by the golden hour, the dried tears reflected. All the hope he once had was migrated onto you. The building of hope he helped you through the years was finally reflected. It was your turn to give back.

You sniff-kissed his palms, and it didn’t hurt him for once. It melted his troubles away for a split second and made his heart skip a beat in the way it was supposed to be.

“No one in this world can match you. You are like no other. You brought better days than I could never imagine, always thinking of others before yourself.” Your promising irises said it all, the truth of himself within. “The universe gives the hardest challenges to the most powerful, resilient ones because it knows how much you can endure. It’s testing you.”

Your grip was firm, more robust than his, as he applied pressure to your hands. “Once it’s over, you will be rewarded vastly. It’ll give you the best things, you name it. You won’t regret anything your heart faces and desires. Good will happen to someone like you. Please don’t give up.” You wheezed out, sobbing into your linked hands. “You’ll be alright, I promise. We’ll be here for you. I’ll be here for you.”

Namjoon joined closer to you, his forehead resting on the top of your head. You felt his tears dripping on your scalp, but that didn’t matter. You then embraced one another, refusing to let go. The dimming sun cascaded your shadows onto the white walls of the hospital room.

Serene was anything but you two. Instead, a fire ignited within, blazing a rush, lighting up the untapped potential inside both of you. The flames grew when together, too powerful for the world to see. So it was decided they had to stay apart, as they’re not always meant to last. Still, without their mirrored flame, if one died, so did the other. 

Separation should never be permanent with you and Namjoon. 

The day was young. The window was opened to lure fresh wind into his nostrils. He’s been in this room for days, but he won’t be in here any longer. He eyed the skinny cylindrical vase, and a single daisy emerged into the half-filled water. The decor was a small gesture from Jungkook, who got the idea from Jimin. 

Though alone, that one daisy carried purpose to its life, creating beauty and awing anyone that surrounded it. It was the last one he probably would see for a while.

A knock interrupted his gaze from the vase. Following the sound, he found his doctor in the doorway with a bright smile.

“Ready?” Dr. Min asked.

Namjoon closed his eyes and breathed a final deep, flower-filled breath.

“Ready.”

-

The ceremony was absolutely breathtaking, with nothing but large smiles on everyone. Laughter filled the air, food filled their stomachs, and you and Jungkook’s love filled the entire reception. Everyone felt your eternal love, resonating with that very feeling in their own lives.

All but Namjoon.

After the successful surgery, he recovered quickly, bringing joy to your lives. But he lost his loving memories with you. He still remembered who you were, how you grew up, and the memories you made with him. He even knew why he had the surgery in the first place. But he doesn’t remember or feel ever being in love with you.

He was your best friend who you platonically loved.

Namjoon didn’t know what love was all together. It was something he couldn’t fully grasp. If someone were to ask, he gave an indefinite answer or a simple ‘I don’t know.’

He did feel like a big hole was in his chest, finding it difficult to get anything to fill it up. Days were long and tiresome. Things happen, things don’t. It was all mundane for him. He felt numb to the world at times. He doesn’t know if he regretted his decision.

But if there’s one thing he knew was that he cared. He cared a lot about his friends, work, and family, never wanting them to feel down or hurt. If they needed him, he’ll come in faster than you could say his name. He enjoyed being there for them. It made him happy.

But not enough to love, whatever that was.

You were his best friend he cared for.

He cared so much that he helped Jungkook plan his proposal with you and the wedding. Jungkook even begged him to be his best man, to which the taller agreed with flying colors.

In your opinion, the ask to be his best man was unexpectedly more notable than your own proposal.

Namjoon watched you and Jungkook dancing on the floor, nothing but smiles and stolen touches between the two. Even when crying, you were still happy with your husband. He was glad you finally found someone worthy enough for you, also glad you weren’t wasting your time with stupid boys who only cared about their dicks in something.

He wondered what it was having that, but he felt nothing. The crater in him only expanded. Was it even possible for him? It didn’t seem as interesting, so he pushed it aside.

“Hey, you okay?”

His head turned to see Jimin sitting beside him at their designated table. The doctor offered him a glass of wine, which he gladly accepted.

“Yeah, just watching.” He shrugged.

“You holding up alright?”

Namjoon’s lips twitched in dissatisfaction, “I think I’ve been before. I don’t know.”

Jimin peeked at the newlyweds and asked, “Do you’d ever tell her?”

“It happened; it’s already in the past. Just gotta move on.” He sighed. “Again, I know she wouldn’t forgive herself if I told her all about it.”

“I understand.” The shorter nodded, swirling his glass in his hand.

“But I will tell her what’s happening now. I think she needs to know that at least.” He took one more sip before putting it down on the table. He got up and headed in your direction.

Jimin smiled, seeing the last moments of you and your best friend together.

Namjoon tapped on your husband’s shoulder, catching their attention. He cleared his throat and pushed forth his hand in front of you. “May I have a dance with my best friend?”

Jungkook beamed at him and nodded willingly. He palmed the small of your back and assisted you to your friend. “Just don’t fall in love with you.”

You all laughed as Namjoon snorted, “Gross, never.”

Jungkook walked away, leaving you to sway to the soft beats of the music. You wrapped your arms around his nape while he palmed your sides firmly. He wasn’t the best dancer, but this was manageable. You both swayed seamlessly together, almost like your bodies were conditioned to.

You looked up at him. He was much healthier, cheeks protruded like when you were children, and his body grew thicker as he ate well and exercised more. But what pressed you was his eyes. Though being better, they struggled to keep luminosity. Some days were high; others were low. You assumed he had gotten moodier after the surgery, but still the authentic Kim Namjoon.

“Ummm, though I want you to enjoy your wedding, there’s something I needed to tell you. It’s important.” He announced as he took the lead in the dance. He unexpectedly twirled you around, making you squeal and grab the collar of his suit.

“You’re not dying again, right?” Though the tone seemed sarcastic, you hardened your face.

“No, I’m not.” He scoffed, playfully rolling his eyes.

 “Good, you’re not allowed to leave me.” You pouted cutely. 

“Well, I can’t say that I’m not gonna leave.”

“Huh, what do you mean?”

“I got a job offer to work in Madrid. Remember Hoseok? He referenced me to one of their museums, and they liked my work.”

“Oh, Joon! I’m so happy for you.” You congratulated him, then squeezed him tightly in your hug. “You’ll do great. When do you leave?”

“In a few months, I told Hoseok I needed some time to transition and finish up some work. I think it’ll be good, you know? A new change after my…tumor. Maybe I’ll feel better…I’ve been feeling stuck. I know I didn’t tell you right away, but you had the wedding and planning….”

“I don’t care. It’s fine. It’s understandable.” You smiled endearingly at your friend. “You know I’ll always love you, right?”

Namjoon crooned, “I love you too.”

Of course, he didn’t think he meant it, not grasping the words. It held no effect on him. But he knew that you enjoyed saying it to him, so to avoid any suspicions, he says it. 

“You’re gonna be so far.” You frowned.

“Hey, I’m gonna call. We’ll do video calls now, and you’ll be able to explore Madrid vicariously towards me.” He promised, holding your form.

“You better…”

“Okay, enough about me. How do you feel?” He changed the subject to the meaning of tonight. “You’re a married woman.”

“It’s weird. My last name is now Jeon.” You stated. “I’m not used to it.”

“Could have been worse. Could have been Kim.” He quipped, making you throw your head back.

You scrunched your nose. Your grin morphed lower as a thought came up. “You remember Seokjin, right?”

“My God, why are you bringing up your ex on your wedding day?” He retorted. You gave a stern look, but it didn’t cause him fear. “But yes, what about him?”

“It wasn’t much about him. It was something he said after we broke up.” You squinted up as if it helped you remember.

“And?”

“Well, I ran into him in the cafeteria. It was like during finals. You weren’t there. You had your art analysis exam.” You recollected from the back of your mind. “He apologized, but it didn’t matter. But he told me he cheated because he knew he couldn’t win.”

“I know I’m not that experienced, but I don’t think a relationship is about winning,” Namjoon commented, still having the urge to punch that guy.

“No, no. He wasn’t like that. But I didn’t know what he was talking about at that time.” You breathed deeply and sighed. “He told me it was because of you.”

“Me? What about me?”

“He saw our friendship and deemed it as a threat.” You uncovered. “You and I were so closer, he felt like he was in the way and that he lost before it even started. ”

“But it wasn’t like that, right?” He probed, not thinking anything more. However, with your long pause and the discomfort on your face, it made him raise a brow at you. “___, speak please.”

“He got me thinking—what if it was you?” You shared. “That the love was much more than what we showed.”

The hypothetical question consumed his mind. It’s been a while since he was deep in thoughts like this. They were always meaningless and showed no impact. Similar to this one, inside him went blank.

“Can’t fathom it….” He could only say.

“I thought he was nuts, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought about wanting it to happen.”

That’s when Namjoon blinked dumbfounded at you. What did you mean by that?

“What did you say? W-why say it now?”

“Because it was in the past, and it stopped after meeting Jungkook.” You answered, reminiscing about those thoughts and feelings. “Now we’re good, happier now, and just look back at it and laugh.”

“You said it was in the past now. What did you think?” Namjoon wanted to understand, curious about what you were hiding from him.

“That…that I liked you. Maybe even falling in love with you??”

Namjoon only wished to have felt what you said, but it was all numb. “O-oh.”

“I’m sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No, no. You’re not, flower. I’m…I’m just a bit surprised.” He denied it, inhaling slowly and releasing his breath.

“I was too. Now thinking back, it would have been very cliche.” You giggled. “We’re breaking stereotypes.”

“We’re unmatched.” He smiled, his dimples being emphasized. “What made you stop having those thoughts?”

You tilted your head and gazed to the side of you to find your reflections. “Mmm, I think our souls were destined to meet like we had a gravitational pull that couldn’t tear us apart. I thought about twin flames.”

“Interesting concept. Tell me more.”

“Kinda like two peas in a pod. We’re one soul split in between two bodies. We see things in us that others can’t.”

“Flower, you can’t say we’re twin flames when you just married your soulmate.”

“It’s different! Twin flames just understand each other to no avail, while soulmates are naturally compatible.”

“Then how did this make you stop? Because in my opinion, it only would lead to more.” He went being a devil’s advocate for no reason. Maybe a stab at you for his past self?

“Two fires together will only create a bigger fire.” You simply explained. “We were meant to be, but we aren’t meant to be.”

The two of you continued to dance, being the few left on the floor. Your loved ones looked at you, intrigued by the strength of your bond.

And it indeed was.

You were made to test and develop your very understanding of yourselves, energy, and one another. You provided active spiritual growth as each other’s catalysts, awakening your mirrored souls. You pushed each other to release your wounds, remove any blockage that came your way, and help to lead you to true love, whether it was self-love or finding the love of your life.

Right before his surgery, Namjoon wondered what would have happened if you had reciprocated his love for you. Would it have been a happily ever after? Or ruin your friendship through the combustion too much for you both to handle?

What if you saw in him what he saw in you? What if you spoke to him like he spoke to you? What if you thought of him like he thought of you? What if life hurt you like it did with him? Would you ever love him the way he loved you?

He will never know.

But above all, he was glad to be with you, even if it meant being only your best friend. You continued your life and yourself, attached to his existence.

And if he lived a hundred years, for a hundred years, he’ll think of you.

All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae 2022 (｡●́‿●̀｡)

do you have a masterlist?

I don't! I'm like in the process of figuring things out in here. The only thing I know how to do is make a tag of my stories for now. It's called matcha masterlist :D I tagged it onto this question!

Please Love Me! | JJK

Pairing: Frat President Jungkook x Succubus Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Comedy (my humor is broken), Light Angst (because everyone is an dumbass)

Summary: By thirsty popular demand, I present to you a small sequel to Please Teach Me? Your succubus self has been going back and forth to the human realm to be…friends with benefits??? With your first task, Jeon Jungkook. Though you only see it as him, finding the good in his humanity, and helping you with your training, Jungkook suddenly thinks otherwise. Yet, he's in denial.

Until he meets and sees you with Seokjin and thinks you're in a relationship with him??? But is Jungkook willing to break free from his infamous womanizing ways and finally admit his love for you??

Warning: We’re going on another adventure!, Seokjin is the bestest :D, granola x succubus reader, let’s all guess what the fuck is OC feeling rn, BUT GUESS WHO’S IN DENIAL, I wanna say seokjin x OC but let’s not LOL, jealous/possessive jungkook, someone becomes a straight up LOSER, idk what’s going on half of the time. Sir kink is back, dom sadist jk heyyyy, sub masochist oc, the size kink we all know and love, Ass slapping (once with a belt), tail pulling (remember when I said they’re sensitive ;-)), rope bondage, candle wax play fvhidsvsdil, fingering (lowkey fisting), oral (f. receiving), multiple orgasm denials, clit pinching, nipple pinching, dumbification again :D, dirty talk, degradation, again with the tail sucking…but different (oc and jk licking her tail together like a lollipop), cum play, unprotected sex, creamiest of pies, I tried to make it as nasty as the last time

Word Count: 19.3k (yes, small sequel indeed)

A/N: This can be read stand alone but highly recommend reading Please Teach Me? LOL I really wasn't intending a part 2 like I posted this MONTHS ago and dipped but SOOO MANY of y'all wanted sexc demon things so here we goooooo I really pulled this out of my butt and idk if I lived up to the first part's standard . But the smut was longer than expected hreoiheoihg

Also posted on AO3!~~

Flying through the corridors of the dorms, Seokjin’s mind raced faster than he could exclaim how handsome he was—which was a lot. Right now all his thoughts were from what the higher-ups have said…more or less affecting him. But all in all, it had to fucking deal with you.

And now, he needed to have a word with you pronto but has not heard from you for almost…thirty-six hours, which shocked him because he’d typically hear you bitching from a distance.

Once he reached your dorm door, he knocked fire-rapid fists and yelled, “Little one, open this door immediately! I need to share with you some details!” No answer. Then he began kicking in fury, “Fucking bitch, answer! This is important.”

Aggravated and impatient, Seokjin decided to throw in the big guns. With the light use of his highly-acclaimed incubus powers, the demon blasted an energy ball through the wooden entranceway, creating a rather larger-than-regular soot-filled darkened hole. Some of your things even got destroyed in the process, but nonetheless, he opened your door!

He entered fashionably, scanning if there was any sight of a dense yet adorable little succubus. Everything in your living space except your plants and half of your mirror remained intact and still. Bed was neatly made with the mountain of plush toys you’ve accumulated through the months. Books that you never read but were somehow open laid on your study table with your chair pushed out. 

He groaned, rolling his eyes at the discovery. Of course, you weren’t here when he needed you to be here again.

Sometimes, he regretted permitting you to play around with your little first task. 

-

“Hungggghh, sir!” You moaned as you attempted balancing and gripping the cold tiled wall, yet there was nothing to grip on.

Showers of water pricked your heated skin, heaps of steam circulated the closed space, and the echoed sounds of steady and heavy pumps, your whimpering, and his moaning filled the rest of the bathroom.

Jungkook thought it was an excellent idea to shower after practice to get ready for another school event he had to attend, but also have a little bit of fun with you in there. Think of it as killing two birds with one stone.

So now there you both were—you were going into your sixth orgasm while having to tippy toe to level with his fast-pacing industrial hips. You arched your back, pushing your ass at Jungkook so that his dick can go deeper into you. Since you were a lot shorter than he was, the angles were always harder to reach when the two of you stood up.

The slapping of his thighs to your meaty fat progressively grew in volume as he held onto your sensitive tail and the left side of your wing—the way he loved manhandling you. Your moans went a tone higher as you let out sobbing pleas. “Sir, pwease!” Your cramping legs were trembling, slowly losing their strength by the human. “I-I can’t!”

Though the frat president rolled his eyes, he accepted your begging, finding it absolutely endearing. You’ve grown to be accustomed to his wild kinks and likings, but you finally knew when you needed some care to his sadist ways.

He slithered his muscular arms around your soddened waist while keeping his piston thrusts in control. His front pressed onto your wings and back with your little demon tail swinging to the side. He nibbled on an edge of your wings, causing you to moan sharply before he smooched a kiss onto the same area and then maneuvered to the shoulder to peck more snogs.

“My little slut is tired?? We just started.” He smirked at your disheveled face. You didn’t just start, you were in here for almost an hour. His fingers were pruny!

You couldn’t even speak, just blabbering incoherent sounds. One of his hands steered lower to your soaking center, fingers trying to find your inflamed clit. Once you shuttered, he knew he hooked onto it. Making tiny circular motions, you started heaving heavily.

“Kooooooo!” You dragged your new nickname for him, almost like a warning that you were almost there.

His ears twitched pridefully at your calling as he quickened his tempo. His movements became messier, indicating he too was chasing his cloud nine. “Almost there, angel. Cum with me.”

At the immediate order, you snapped, going into ecstasy. Your left eye twitched as you found spots in your vision. Then, Jungkook slammed into you one last time before clenching his stomach. Your squishy cunt walls throbbed around his thickening cock, milking the cum out of him. He coated your insides with white, getting in a few more loads than usual.

Your tail sprayed like a sprinkler, feeling the orgasm wholeheartedly this time. Some of it goes onto Jungkook’s defined abs. But it didn’t really matter because you were in the shower.

Knowing how weak you were after sex, the best he could do right now was lay both of your bodies on your sides on the shower floor. You respired out so hard, he had to move your head to the water splashing your forms so that you can get some hydration. Once you were semi-stabilized, he finally pulled out of you. You winced at the stimulation but he kissed your forehead and murmured praises.

“___, are you okay?” Jungkook asked. Your eyes were closed, with your chest raising slowly.

You hummed softly with a nod before peeling open your eyes. “Why do you have so much stamina even after your practice?”

The human chuckled at your complaint and shrugged, “Maybe I always have energy when I’m with you.”

“Please use at least 25% of that energy into something else, like knitting.” You mumbled as you turned yourself to face him. “Are we done showering?”

“You still need to clean your body, maybe somewhat more since we made lo—I mean have sex.”

“Please clean me?” You always asked so sweetly, with no rush, no hint of irritation, but super whiny.

Yet Jungkook would always say yes to you. “Of course, angel.”

-

You were finally out of the shower. Jungkook carried your exhausted form back to his room. He puts on one of his shirts on you (you had the habit of sucking back your wings inside of you for this reason only) and even moisturizes your skin with a body balm. Once he finished getting you dressed, you situated on his bed like a starfish. He did the same routine on himself but only threw on a pair of boxers.

“Angel, I have something for you!” He bounced towards his backpack and ruffled the insides to retrieve the content.

“What is?” You were fatigued after the intense session. Even with having someone like a bunny-infused bouncy house like Jungkook, you never improved from your feeble power.

He dramatically pulled his “gift” to you and raised it over his head like he was enacting the beginning scene of The Lion King. Enjoying your entertainment, you went along and stared up, rasping at the big reveal.

You sat up and levitated up in joy, flying towards the human with grabby hands. “Granola!!” You cheered like a child.

“And it has honey-coated pecans and almonds.” He said proudly. “I got two packs…” You squealed, suddenly twirling in the air. “But just one for now. You inhale it and get a tummy ache if you get more.” Once you stopped your twirls, he handed you the bag of your favorite human treat. 

You snatched it off of him before hugging it like it was the love of your life. Distracted and mindlessly, you began drifting away to a corner of the room but Jungkook pulled you back down by the hips to sit you with him on top of his covers. He kissed your temple, gripping his hold around you. 

“Thank you, Jungkook! This is wonderful.” You continued to not face him, staring at the granola so you didn’t see the endearing and longing eyes that the human had on you. “I will save it for home.” You threw the treat into the tote bag that was wide open on the side of the bed. Jungkook got for you a while back when you kept carrying your treats and clothes with your arms. He said it was more efficient for you.

The human laid the both of you down as he nuzzled into your neck. You whined at how touchy he was being and didn’t help that it progressed the more you saw him. “Angel, you don’t like my touch? I thought you loved it.” You felt him smirking which caused you to blush red.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. But I would like my space.” You pouted as you distanced him away slightly, making him grumble. “You radiate much body heat for a human. It feels like I’m back in the demon realm.”

Jungkook hummed, faulty listening to your speaking only because he felt colder without you fully in his arms. “How is the demon realm? Is it nice there? What’s it like?”

There he went again. After every session or when you’re back on Earth (you learned that’s what the human realm was called), Jungkook seemed to be very interested in learning more about you. Whether it was about you, what you liked, and this time it was about the demon realm. Maybe he was just curious, which you didn’t mind at all, you were a succubus after all and it was the least you could do for him.

For the past months, you’ve been sneaking back and forth to Earth after completing your first task, Jeon Jungkook. Still the frat president of Beta Tau Sigma, still an active partygoer, still what humans call a fuck boy, but now your unofficial task helper. One of the reasons why was that you grew comfortable with him. You technically didn’t need to have a different human all the time when you were completing your training tasks, and Jungkook just so happened to be willing to help you without getting anything back besides your cunt and being.

Typically it was not a big deal as a succubus and other demons travel to the realm, but since you were still in training, it can be quite controversial. When you go on Earth, you always needed supervision in case something happens, especially with a demon like you.

Seokjin would be surveilling you or communicating with you through your minds when you do have tasks while documenting your experience. But when you weren’t completing anything, he doesn’t look over you like a child—though, at times, he begged to differ. So when you’re on Earth without guidance, there was really no telling what would even happen. You could kill someone and your authorities wouldn’t even know. You weren’t fully trained, and you obtained some powers, but overall you were still in need of oversight. Which was now. Seokjin didn’t know you were here.

But you didn’t think you were doing anything terrible. Sure, your exams were borderline passing, you still made your mentor uncomfortable, you were fucking a human behind the higher-ups’ backs and at times, you’d accidentally absorb some of Jungkook’s life force (but you always try to give it back), and you may have begged Seokjin to grant you permission to even do what you were doing, but you weren’t doing anything wrong.

In a way, you were surprisingly progressing! You’ve completed many tasks over the months with Jungkook, got to know more of the human culture, and learned new kinks that you liked with him, maybe even only him.

Though Jungkook was a bit rough around the edges, you swiftly learned that he was indeed a sweet human to you. When he wasn’t fucking your guts out and pulling on your tail like naughty mischief, he liked taking care of you. He washed you up, fed you human foods, gave you piggybacks, kissed you on your forehead, stared at you instead of completing his human studies…what else?? Oh yeah! He always complimented you in your dresses, called you beautiful or ravishing, and even exchanged numbers with the cellular device you kept to talk to or video chat with him when you were away. 

All that was listed made you think about how friendly he was to you! Get this—he was usually quite mean to his friends. You constantly heard from other succubi how humans can be really selfish and vile, but it wasn’t like that with Jungkook! He was so kind to you, except in the bedroom.

Nevertheless, you couldn’t believe how much good he had in him to be willing to help you. You couldn’t be any more grateful, such a wonderful human man!

“Oh! It’s much different to what humans think it is, especially when they like to affiliate Hell with us.” You simply replied as you shifted forward and laid your head on his chest. Jungkook liked that, so you did it. “The simplest answer is to say Hell but we’re far from Hell. There are many realms where many creatures like witches, trolls, and us demons reside!”

The human asked while he gently played with your horns, keeping you calm. “And where would that be for you, little succubus?”

“Naameth.”

“You always fascinate me every single time.” Jungkook blushed, but when he realized what he was doing, he slapped it off of his face. Yet you didn’t even acknowledge or see it.

“I guess so.” You shrugged, getting off his chest as you sat up. “I am a succubus and you’re a human. Many things are different from our kinds.”

“Do you think I could visit Naameth?”

“No, absolutely not.” You deadpanned.

Jungkook suddenly smiled smugly, assuming that there was a bit of poison to your tone indicating you were jealous. “Why, angel? You think my amazing human charm will attract other succubi and that I won’t want you anymore?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “No, because you will die.” His fucking smirk vanished and his face went pale. “Remember that succubi feed off human men. I even did that to you on accident. I can give your life force back, but that won’t mean others will.”

Suddenly Jungkook’s eyes lit up, “So you care for me? Care if I die.”

You nodded slowly, “Yes. I need you.” For some reason, his heart fluttered at your reply. His lips curled upwards. “I need your help with my tasks.” Okay, it went back down. “I refuse to find another one.”

“O-oh, okay…” Jungkook couldn’t help but feel upset about that. He expected that feeling to be let go all those months ago, but it stayed and he didn’t like that one bit.

“I can take you to the other realms.” You added in, without realizing what you’ve done. “They’re as lovely as Naameth. We can go to the waterfalls, forests, maybe even hiking, I know you love those things. I can let you try other foods besides human food because…” You rambled on and on but Jungkook stopped listening to observe how eccentric you were being and planning trips in the future with him. It caused him to roar in glee on the inside.

While you kept blabbering off, he encircled his veiny arms around you and kissed your cheek, making you shut your mouth. You slowly turned your head, revealing the bunny smile you enjoyed seeing on him. He then proceeded to attack you with kisses to your neck, making you laugh, a sound that brought jubilance to his ears.

But before you could say anything, you both heard a knock followed by an opening of the door. Luckily, you were dressed, unlike in other instances. These men in this fraternity do not know how to wait.

On the other side was Jimin, one of Jungkook’s close friends, grinning at the both of you as he shook his head with his slit eyes. “Again, with your demon role-play? Jungkook didn’t expect you to like it that much.” You forgot that your tail and horns were exposed again. It was a miracle that his friends bought the whole “demon kink” and you weren’t levitating during the disruptions or else you’d be more fucked than you already were.

Shyly, you parted away from Jungkook and pulled your tail to your back. You grabbed a pillow to hold onto, covering yourself a bit. As a succubus, you were naturally comfortable with your body and showing some skin. However, you also didn’t like letting other men see you bare except for Jungkook.

Slightly annoyed, the frat president leered at his shit-grinning friend and asked, “The fuck do you want?”

“I wanted to talk to you about the event tonight. But I see that you’re nowhere near ready and we have to leave in less than an hour.” Jimin reminded him, checking his boxer-covered friend out.

Jungkook cursed under his breath as he palmed his face and rubbed his skin aggressively. The school event mentioned was a dinner with the university’s board of directors, ensuring a good relationship with not only the dean but maintaining excellent and sufficient status for the fraternity.

“Do you wanna talk out of the room or?” Jungkook questioned.

“Right here is fine.” The shorter man shrugged. “Nothing top secret that ___ can’t hear.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to you while I’ll get ready then.” The frat president got off the bed. He opened his closet and then resumed the conversation with Jimin.

Meanwhile, you too had an unexpected chat but it wasn’t all that exciting as your stomach dropped in fear and scared the shit out of you. “Hello, you little motherfucker! Where the fuck have you been?”Your one and only mentor yelled into your mind out of nowhere.

You screamed and flinched from the ambush, flinging the pillow to the wall as a reflex, causing the human men to stop and look at you questionably. You made eye contact back before smiling and giving a thumbs-up that you were okay. Weirded out (well, more so Jimin), they continued their talk again.

“Seokjin, Seokjin.” You whispered so that the humans wouldn’t hear you. But it was so quiet that Seokjin found it slightly inaudible.

“Why are you whispering? This isn’t a time to whisper, little one!” Seokjin complained. “Are you in the fucking human realm again?” You couldn’t get in a word as he continued his rant. “Of course, you fucking are. That’s where you go if you’re not here. Look, now is not the time to bitch what I say. But you must come back here this instant.”

“Why?” You asked softly and he finally heard you.

“I have important news. In short, you’re kinda fucked.”

“Wait, what? Are you serious right now?” You unknowingly shouted, jumping out of bed as you paced around the room. “What do you mean I’m kinda fucked? What did I even do?!?!”

As you were distressed, Jimin raised an eyebrow while observing you. “Yah, is she okay? Why is she talking to herself?”

Though Jungkook knew what you were doing as you had to tell him when he first saw what Jimin was seeing now, he didn’t know how to explain the situation well. “Uhh, she’s praying?”

“Praying?” The shorter man questioned incredulously. “Doesn’t seem like praying…”

“It is…she does it randomly from time to time. It’s part of her faith.” Jungkook responded the best he can. “Just don’t worry about it. If you interrupt her, it won’t be good.”

Cue back to your freak out. “I say kinda fucked because there is a bit of good news. It may even be a relief for you.” Seokjin clarified.

“You could have fucking said that instead of telling me I’m fucked, Seokjin!”

“Seokjin?” Jimin faced back to you again. “What religion has a Seokjin?”

Okay, that was a name that the frat president heard but never understood but he couldn’t think further into it just yet. “Uhhh, Jinnism. It’s common from where she’s from.” His friend was about to protest but Jungkook beat him to it. “Dude, just fucking ignore her right now. Talk to me about what you wanted me to hear in the first place.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” You can sense Seokjin shrug casually and unbothered by your reply. “Either way, you must come back to Naameth immediately.”

You sighed, “Give me ten minutes.”

“No, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m supposed to tell you what to do.”

“Seokjin, give me fucking ten minutes. I’ll get there, I promise!” Again, Jimin eyed you and your “prayer” but decided to let it go.

“Fine. Do what you have to do before coming. I’ll be seeing you soon.” Seokjin huffed, giving in. “By the way, I made a giant hole in your room door.”

“You fucking dick! AGAIN? I have to get that repaired!!” You complained, but he was already gone and out of your mind. You rolled your eyes before plotting back on the mattress. You kicked your feet up in fury and whined into the duvet. You rolled like a fish on the sheets to exert more of your frustration. 

Jimin couldn’t help but scrutinize you once again for the last time. “Dang, that’s your type, man.” He mumbled more to himself, but Jungkook who was already dressed heard his commentary.

“Fuck off and get out of my room!” Before Jimin could see him in a blushing frenzy, the frat president pushed his friend out without warning. Though the shorter man protested, a slamming of the door sealed the demand.

The frat president exhaled while fixing his tie, loosening it for now. “___! What’s wrong, baby?” Oh my goodness, why the fuck did he say that? He didn’t catch himself before saying it. Fuck, he hoped you didn’t notice.

Though he hoped you did.

But like always, you don’t seem to bother acknowledging it. “I have to go back to my realm now.” You rolled to see him.

Damn, he wore black and grey checkered dress pants with a black dress shirt tucked into them, exposing his petite waist. Buttons on his shirt were unbuttoned. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbow; his forearms were revealed with parts of his tattoos shown on the right of him. The thin fabric practically adhered to his skin as his muscles protruded out. All he needed to do was style his hair, but it didn’t matter either way because he looked so fucking hot you needed to cleanse your mind…and you were a sex demon.

“I think I’m in trouble.” You frowned.

“In trouble? Oh, fuck. Are you okay?” With enlarged irises, panic ran through Jungkook. “Holy shit! Will I be okay? Am I gonna die?”

“No, no, Koo. You won’t die.” You always tried to comfort him because he has had near-death experiences caused by you. That gave him a bit of relief. “I won’t let anything happen to you. If you die, it would be by the hands of me.” Never mind, his stomach churned and he felt like throwing up. “But I won’t kill you! I told you I would never!” You tried to save what little reassurance he had from you.

He exhaled, trying his best to stay positive and lighten the mood. “So you need to go back now?” You nodded. “Do you know why you’re in trouble?”

You shook your head, “No, Seokjin said I’m kinda fucked but he said there might be good in it.”

Again with that name.

The entire time Jungkook has been…friends with benefits??…with you, you’ve always mentioned someone or something called Seokjin. He assumed it was someone since you’ve always been talking to him through your mind, but he didn’t necessarily know who it exactly was.

It was constantly “Oh, Jungkook, I have to go. Seokjin is waiting for me,” or “Hold on, Seokjin wants to talk to me.” Even when you were fucking the human, you would be like “Seo-k-jin! Pl-please n-not right no—ahhhhh!”

The point he was getting at was he didn’t know who the fuck Seokjin was, and it made him annoyed. But he refused to ask about it because he thought you’d probably think he was jealous, which he clearly wasn’t. He was just fucking curious about who the fuck this Seokjin was and how important this Seokjin was for you to drop everything to go to Seokjin and not be with him?

He couldn’t resist it this time.

“Who’s Seokjin?” He began.

“Huh?” You gaped at him confusingly. You noticed how he bit his lip and met your contact with a much more intense stare.

“Who’s Seokjin? You’ve been mentioning and saying that name all the time.”

“Hmmm.”

That’s it? That was what all you had to say about Seokjin?!?!??!

“Oh, Seokjin. Yeah, don’t worry about him.” Him??? “Just another sex demon, he’s an incubus.”

First of all, Jungkook felt his chest twist when he heard it was a dude! Second, he was a fucking demon!! Of course, he would be. What else would he be? A gremlin? But the human betted this demon was ugly and revolting. Lastly, why did it sound like you were hiding something? Were you trying to change the subject to avoid it? What was going on?

Jungkook got pulled out of his mind when you changed into your clothes. “Anyways, I truly have to go which makes me sad because I was hoping to stay with you tonight.” You slipped out of his shirt and pulled over the purple sundress Jungkook bought for you.

His lips quirked up as he slowly walked to you. He patted your head before caressing your cheek. You were so short that you had to stretch your neck up. You reached the top of his chest and it made his heart melt. You made an innocent smile and he wanted to die in moe.

“Unfortunately, I also had plans tonight,” Jungkook spoke out, feeling rather bummed.

“That would have been okay! I would have waited for you in your room!” Now, why would you say that? He was going weak in the knees as is, you made it worse.

“Though that would be fun and kind of you, maybe going back would be good.”

“I promise if I don’t get punished, I’ll come back to see you soon. Okay, Koo?” Your Bambi eyes sparkled, swearing to your statement. You truly did want to stay, but you had duties…or shit that you had to deal with.

Jungkook had so much adoration when you promise things like that. As cute as you were, you kept your promises no matter what and that was one of the purest things about you.

“Of course, angel.” He pulled you into his chest, embracing you once more before you depart.

-

Jungkook walked down and outside with you as a courtesy and he wanted to spend a couple of more minutes with you.

Though you could teleport to your realm, he realized how suspicious his friends would be if you left without them seeing you leave. Most of the frat members liked to lounge around the kitchen and living room. Being in a household filled with testosterone, all the men could sense a woman or any feminine body in and out of the house like a built-in radar detector in their brains.

While you walked down with Jungkook, you had a habit of intertwining your fingers with his. You didn’t think much of it as you grinned casually towards the front door, but the frat president flushed like an idiot and cheesing a little too hard. Playful winks were on the two of you. His frat brothers noticed it, especially when their frat president was with you.

The human opened the door. You stepped out and he followed behind before closing it, giving a some privacy. He observed the area, perceiving that the coast was clear for you. You were ready to go, waiting for Jungkook to give you the go. But the human disliked seeing you off again. It was common for him to do this. You came often, but not as often as how he wanted. You’d come back a day or two later, but sometimes, it would be more than a week. If it was his choice, he never wanted you to leave.

You thought about how winsome he was every time you left. Your task looked so funny and lovesick that it felt so real. You then held his cheeks, pushing them together to puff them up.“Stop being sad, Jungkook.”

“I’m not sad!” He mumbled, leaning into your touch. “It’s just…”

“Do you want me to video call you when I’m done with Seokjin?”

The fuck you mean when you’re done with Seokjin? “Yes.” He said with no hesitation. “Text me when you get home too.’ You grinned, nodding like the adorable demon you were, and let go of his face. He sighed at the sight of you.

Jungkook bent down, closed his eyes, and puckered his lips. He hoped to feel yours on the other side, but the more he leaned in, the more breeze he got. He almost fell forward and ate shit. He peeled back his eyes to not see you in front of him anymore.

His head pivoted to the side, finding you skipping down the walkway. You looked back at him before saying, “Bye, Koo!” You fluttered your fingers at him, then you disappeared into thin air. You basically Houdini’d.

Despite that, Jungkook’s smile grew as he replayed the very memory of you saying goodbye. He loved when you said that nickname. He groaned in amazement and couldn’t wait to see you again.

With his rabbit teeth still on display, he went back inside. When he closed the door, he rested his back on the wooden surface. His eyelids closed shut as he tried stabilizing his heart rate. It was going faster than the last time. 

"Dude, you're fucking whipped."

He snapped his eyes open, finding all his frat brothers half-circling him with Cheshire Cat-like smiles. "Pfft, no I'm not." Jungkook pushed himself off and stood tall on his feet, attempting to be all cool and casual. “Just another fuck…”

“Just another fuck, yeah? What is this, the three hundredth time with her alone?” Hoseok retorted, rolling his eyes.

“Seeing you all bright and dandy like the Teletubbies seeing the fucking sun!” Yoongi mentioned. "She's practically curing you, a fucking angel if you ask me."

"So you think she’s an angel…" Jungkook side-eyed his friend.

“We refuse to hear your rancid details.” Namjoon gagged before making a sour expression.

“Well, I’m never telling you.” The frat president informed. “Not like I wanna tell you anything between me and her.”

“Oooo, keeping secrets instead of stories??? What’s going on? What happened to the Jungkook we knew and put up with?” Hoseok laughed, calling his hands to emphasize his statement.

“Fuck off, Hobi Hyung!” Jungkook couldn’t defend himself on that because what happened between the two of you was really between each other, especially with your succubus status.

"JK, this has been going on for months.” Jimin pointed out, trying to be a little mindful compared to the others. Though Jungkook was the frat president, he was the youngest amongst them which meant they can fuck around and get away with it from time to time. “You're never with the same chick unless…Oh my God, are you in love with her?"

“Jungkook in love? Has the world revolved counterclockwise?” Namjoon teased, raising his fingers to his opened mouth like he was in shock.

"Can't blame him. She's so pretty and kind." Yoongi reflected, thinking back to a memory of you back at the party where you practically met everyone. “A bit of an airhead though and has so much shame.”

Yes, all of us were being reminded of how much of a fuck boy frat president of Sigma Tau Beta, Jeon Jungkook, was. He had a different person at every party, every gathering, every lunch, every day, every hour, it shocked them how he didn’t catch anything. But finally, he did.

He caught feelings for you.

"She eats our granola though. How am I supposed to eat my yogurt?" Hoseok complained.

“Shut up you idiots, I'm not in love," Jungkook stated, shaking his head in denial. “She just wants my dick and she has such a great p…beautiful personality.”

YeAh, hE’S deFINitelY noT iN lOvE.

“You brought her to your family’s house during your birthday dinner!” Jimin countered.

“She was visiting that time! Remember she doesn’t go to school here anymore.” Jungkook reasoned, trying to cover the lies. You both had to create lies about you not being in classes with him and Jimin. “I didn’t want to leave her here!” 

“You could have left her here with us.” Hoseok alluded, a smirk morphing on his face.

“Absolutely fucking not.”

You, a clueless succubus, in a house alone with other men that weren’t Jungkook? Nope!

To be honest, he may have had to because though it may not be intentional, he guessed that due to your succubus aura, you kinda charmed his father a bit.

Of course, his mother was there to smack the sense back to him.

“You cuddle with her and fall asleep on the couch, and when you wake up, you carry her to your room!”

“I see you smiling at your phone and I look over to see you texting her. She barely even responds besides an “ok,” or “sure.” She doesn’t even get your memes sometimes.”

"You also take her out almost every weekend and if we have a party, you're either alone or with her. You don't even try anymore."

"What's your point?" Jungkook muttered, his attention roaming elsewhere but his friends. He even kicked his feet in frustration to ease off his embarrassment. 

"JEON. JUNGKOOK. YOU. ARE. WHIPPED. FOR. ___!" The older group of friends shouted in unison.

“No, I’m not! How many times do I have to fucking tell you that I don’t have any feelings for ___?” The rosy-coated cheeked frat president was persistent, he refused to believe such accusations. “If I did, which I’m not, she doesn’t even like me!”

“Huh, well, we’re unsure about that too,” Hoseok told them. “We don’t see any part of her liking you.”

“She did make him a gourmet meal when he passed an exam!” Yoongi notified, snapping his fingers.

“She does praise you even the smallest shit.” Namjoon scoffed. “But you shouldn’t compliment the bare minimum in my opinion.”

“She even is willing to role-play JK’s demon kink!” Jimin boasted, adding to Jungkook’s humiliation.

“Okay! All of you, for fuck’s sake, let this go. Nothing is going on with us. I don’t love her and…she doesn’t love me.” In that last part, the frat president said it to convince not only them but himself. “We’re only fuck buddies, that’s it.”

“Oh, sure, and if Hoseok and I make out, we’re just bros, right?” Namjoon snorted jokingly. “There’s always one person that catches feelings.”

“And it’s you, bud.” Yoongi patted his youngest friend’s back in empathy. “And you’re downright bad.”

“Yeah, you may be feral for her, but that doesn’t mean she like that back.” Hoseok brutally mentioned, which earned a few glares around.

“Hobi Hyung! Don’t say that. We don’t know what she thinks.” Jimin lightly pushed his friend as his scolding. “But Jungkook, he is lowkey right. I mean didn’t you play with others’ emotions before?”

“Yes, but not for months!”

“So? Girls are much more cunning than we are. She’s probably waiting until she destroys you.” Namjoon shrugged.

His friends were not helping at all. They were throwing shade about how much of a player he was too. In fact, they were making him question his relationship with you, which was good…in a way? 

“I’m not sure if you’re trying to support me or insult me. But either way, you bitches suck ass right now!” Jungkook exclaimed.

“We just don’t want you to get your hopes up if she doesn’t like you. Unlike you, she’s not obvious with her emotions besides confused and whining.” Jimin voiced out. “We've never seen you like this. It’s wild and scary.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes, getting immediately tired of this conversation. “Look, Hyungs. I’m not obvious nor do I have feelings, and that is my final answer. You’re all being insane and stalkerish, like observing me and her? Do you even have lives beyond this story?”

“Probably, not,” Jimin answered. “We’re only saying.”

“Well, stop.” Then Jungkook finally ended the discussion as he stomped away from them and back to his room.

When he slammed his door shut, he felt the heat intensify in him. He rubbed his face with his palms as he treaded around his bedroom, thinking about what his friends said. Him being in love with you?? Thinking about that…it would take a deranged enchantress to make him head over heels, with googly eyes, and on his knees to be in love.

Well, for starters, you weren’t deranged…he assumed. As for an enchantress, you certainly weren’t that. You were a demon, a sex demon, a succubus that uses human men to gain power. As a matter of fact, Jungkook was expected to fear you the moment he saw you. But that didn’t happen, considering he threw you around like a cum cloth the first meet.

Yet as time went on, nothing bad overall—highlighting because you would accidentally drain Jungkook’s life and burned him sometimes—happened. If anything, a budding bond flourished between the two of you. How was it that a teeny succubus like yourself was able to get him through your cute smile? Your compassionate presence? Your everlasting patience? Your baffling innocence? Your exasperating oblivion? Fuck, this was bad.

He wasn’t in love, he couldn’t, he can’t. It wasn’t right, it was against all his values and beliefs.

Yeah, right. When did his values and beliefs incorporate a demon into the picture?

Despite getting to sleep with you, any other thing with you was deemed pointless in his upsetting reality. You weren’t as cuddly as him, you didn’t initiate kisses, and you answered his questions objectively. All were similar to what he does to women from his fuck boy mindset.

Yet he hasn’t been with any other apart from you when you came back into his life after the initial time. That’s what’s frightening about all of this. He was willing to drop everything to be with you. He chose not to be with other women. Instead, he thought about what places to bring you like the carnival, wrestling, sky diving, or any rigorous physical activity he could think of to make you fit. He hated it but wanted more.

You know what? Fuck you. Perhaps he should be done with you and your ways. He should tell you that he refused to help you any longer because you’re fucking up his lifestyle, the person he was before and quite enjoyed. He had no regrets prior, and now he was contemplating all his pondering decisions apart from his choice with you.

So basically fuck you and your bomb-ass cunt.

A buzz rang through his room. His phone vibrated on top of his bedside table. He went up to grab his device before unlocking it. It was a simple message from you.

My pretty Angel 😇😩😍🥰: home!

Human Jungkook: Please safe and good luck angel! Text me when you’re done

Human Jungkook: Actually video call me I wanna see your face :-(

Five minutes later…

My pretty Angel 😇😩😍🥰: ok

Jungkook didn’t realize how much he was beaming like a damn idiot. Heart thumping at your two short ass replies. He sat on his gaming chair and giggled like a schoolgirl, swinging his legs up. Oh, how he wished he look at you again. Pulling his phone to his sternum, he yearned for you and hoped you were alright.

Yup, definitely not whipped.

-

“Listen here, you little shit! You can’t keep disappearing on me like that!” Seokjin scolded you as he floated around the office as you sat on his desk with your head hung down. “I already permitted you and hid it away from the higher-ups. The least you can do is notify me before you’re going to your dick appointment!”

“I-I’m sorry. I took advantage of your consent, I should have told you I was on Earth.” You nodded, taking in his yelling.

“Yeah, well. For that, the higher-ups found out and now they wanna expel you!”

“What?!” Your head snapped up with your bottom lips pushed out. How was that even possible? You were a succubus, all succubus had to go through this training no matter what. It was part of your life! Was there even such thing as expulsion within your training? Was there anyone else who got expelled? Were you the first dumbass to get kicked out? “Really, Seokjin? Awww, noooo.” You shivered in panic and you started crying. Tears falling down your reddened puffy cheeks and weeping gradually escalated. You’ll be nothing anymore, you weren’t worthy enough to call yourself a succubus.

“Nah, I’m just fucking with you.”

His fucking windshield wiper laugh belted over your softened cries, echoing off his office walls. “You should have seen your face. It looked like I stole a part of you and annihilated it!” He slapped his knee because it was that funny he pranked you like that. But an immediate glare from your blinking ruby-infused irises drilled through your mentor’s delight, causing him to stop himself promptly. His spine aligned upwards and he cleared his throat, apologizing feebly.

“It’s nice to fucking know that my own mentor wants to see me crash and burn!” You hissed, crossing your arms over your chest. You levitated up and rushed to him with your scarlet vision and newly developed fangs that grew last month. Seokjin winced in fright, trying to hide behind his lamp. “That was so fucking mean! You know how much I wanna complete this training!”

“Put those fangs away!” Seokjin shrieked. He wished he developed to be a little bit more mindful. You weren’t as weak anymore compared to when you first started, having obtained powers and other features. You were pretty fucking weak in contrast to him anyways, but it still freaked him out.

You moved backward, morphing your teeth and pupils back to their normal size. Your burgundy wings fluttered behind you while your tail slithered like a serpent. Your mentor got out of his hiding place and adjusted himself before continuing his thoughts. “Okay, consider that as punishment for not telling me where you were.”

“Whatever,” You rolled your eyes but there was still sadness in them. “Am I really expelled though?”

“No, you aren’t,” Seokjin reported honestly, relieving you. “But the higher-ups did find out.”

“How?”

“For the record, I didn’t know. But when I would turn in your completed tasks, they noticed a pattern and got suspicious of how you were able to complete so many with ease.” He explained. “Makes sense, considering you’ve been in this training for years and this is a year-and-a-half preparation.” You shrugged as you understood that part. “They didn’t tell me specifically, because they knew I’d tell you, but I think they hired someone to follow you back on Earth. They saw you with your human.” You gasped. “They brought me in today to inform me about it.”

“What did you say?”

“I naturally said that this was all your fault and that you should take all the blame because that’s what you wanted in the first place.”

So much for him protecting you…

“So am I in trouble?” You were perplexed, creasing your eyebrows.

“This is where the good news comes in. You’re actually not.” He reassured, releasing all the stress that has been built up today. “They weren’t mad because you’ve made tremendous progress in the past months as opposed to starting years. To be honest, all they want is for you to fucking pass and if it involves indirectly cheating or using a human for assistance, they’ll turn a blind eye to your case.”

This was good, you didn’t need to worry about keeping secrets and sneaking around. You could go into the human realm without thinking you’d get caught. A weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

“However, they wanted safety precautions, knowing that you are a walking hazard,” Seokjin informed, grabbing your file from his desk drawers. “Seeing that you have a human task helper, they thought it was a great idea that I meet Jungkook.”

“Why do you need to meet him?” You asked, not seeing the purpose of it all. You weren’t killing the human!

“Well, while I instruct, give you advice, and keep a record of your training, it’s only fair I meet the person that’s helping you.” Your mentor clarified. “We’ll be able to collaborate and work together with what’s best for you. You know improve your skills, maintain and enhance your strengths, analyzing in-field observations.”

“Like a damn parent-teacher conference?” You questioned, showing a face of “are you serious right now?”

“Correct, little one.” Seokjin grinned, blooping the tip of your nose. “Plus, I also wanna get to know who Jungkook is besides that task folder. Like how the fuck he was able to get you in a chokehold for him? I can’t even put a leash on you!”

“But who’s who?” You wondered aloud, thoughts going in another direction and ignoring Seokjin. “Would Jungkook be the pare—”

"I'm gonna stop you right there because that's wrong on so many different levels." He interrupted you, trying to steer it back to the main topic. “In conclusion, I must see him. It's only fair if he's helping you and I'm your mentor. After that, higher-ups would want a full report on how capable this human is. They think he’s a wizard since he can even deal with you as is.“

-

Seokjin meeting Jungkook was somewhat concerning. Though your mentor was present at that frat party where you met your task, Seokjin didn’t officially meet him. All your mentor knew was through the paperwork he had for you and that was it.

If you learned anything about Seokjin, it was that he was a fucking menace to you. Though you had a tendency to fuck things up yourself, at times he liked making things worse. He said that it was to challenge you but it was a load of bullshit. Always making damn excuses.

Still, you never saw Seokjin interacting with human men and that idea terrified you. What if he exposed your secrets? Like when you had to practice oral with a cucumber to impress Jungkook! You didn’t want him to know. 

What if he was mean to Jungkook and scare him away? You couldn’t have that; you didn’t want to stop seeing Jungkook. You liked being with the human. His presence made you feel comforted. He always cheered you up when you felt like you weren’t a good enough succubus. He made you feel safe even when being a sadist in the bedroom. You didn’t want anyone else but him!

Like who was also gonna help you with your task??!! You didn’t wanna go through that process again.

But it had to happen whether you liked it or not. If Seokjin meeting Jungkook was the only way for you to get away with in succeeding your training as well as obtaining permission from the higher-ups, then so be it.

Currently, you were video chatting with Jungkook as promised. He kept yapping his mouth about what happened during the school event while you rested on your bed listening in and out. “Overall, it was sooo fucking boring and they expected us to dance on the dance floor.” Jungkook scoffed as he loosened and undid the tie around his neck. “Like how can I shake my ass to Party Rock Anthem? Like at least Gasolina!”

“What are those words?” You rolled over to the other side of your bed.

Jungkook opened his mouth but quickly closed it, “I’ll tell you later. Als—” He stopped for a second, observing your fallen expression. “___, what’s on your mind?”

“Numerous things and one of them has to deal with you.”

The human smirked cheekily, thinking something else about what you said. “Baby, be more clear. I wanna hear the words out that pretty mouth of yours.”

“The higher-ups of my succubus training, aka the succubi and incubi council, found out about you.” You notified. “They saw that I’ve been sneaking to Earth when I’m not supposed to.”

Jungkook felt like he was about to throw up. “T-t-they found out about me? Oh my God, AM I GONNA DIE?”

“No, Koo, you’re not gonna die!” You had to tell him again. “I need your help…”

“What do you mean? Aren’t I helping you already?”

“It’s another thing. I’m sorry I keep asking you for all of this. You must think I take too much from you.” You gloomed, letting out a few of your inner thoughts. You didn’t want Jungkook to think that you were taking advantage of him. You constantly tried to make it up for him somehow.

“Angel, I wouldn’t have helped you if I thought you were taking advantage of me. I know my limits.” He assured but lied because there were no limits when it was with you. “Now what were you going to ask me?”

You paused, breathing in and out before saying, “Seokjin wants to meet with you.”

“Uhh, excuse me. What the actual fuck? Why?”

It wasn’t because he didn’t want to meet Seokjin…wait, that was exactly the reason why. Why would he meet this mystery demon that is very close to you?

“The higher-ups thought it was a good idea for him to meet you since you’re helping me with my tasks.” You clarified further. “If anything, they seem to like you because you helped me progress in my studies!”

“…but why him?” His tone sounded flat but on the inside, he was burning.

“Because he talks to the higher-ups and I guess he knows me better than any other demon.” Your vague answer felt like a shot to his chest. He didn’t even care how you said it, he cared about the words. So this Seokjin demon knew you better than any other demon, huh?

Well, does Seokjin know how you sneezed like a kitten? Does Seokjin know your tail waves happily when you get granola? Does Seokjin know how much joy was in your laugh when you see something funny? Does Seokjin know that you liked to cuddle with something when you’re sleeping? And when you slept over, you’d have your arms wrapped around his torso like a koala?

Seokjin may not know everything about you.

“Please meet him? I promise it’ll be okay. He won’t lay a finger on you. If he does, I’ll try my best to rip him off of you.” You pleaded with your shimmering eyes that you didn’t know was one of his ultimate weaknesses. “Of course, he is one of the most powerful demons in our realm…”

As always, you asked so preciously. He couldn’t say no to that face of yours. It may be the hidden power you had over him or maybe not. Yet Jungkook wasn’t going to sway his decision.

“When do you want us to meet, angel?” He gave in to your request.

You squealed, bouncing off of the bed as you held your phone. “Really? You’ll do it?” He nodded in confirmation before you got elated. He’d do anything to see that stunning pearly whites. “I must tell him now! We’ll have everything set up and I’ll tell you the details, okay Koo?”

“Of course, angel. I’m only a call and text away.” He chuckled, gazing into his device.

You checked the time and calculated how late it was for both of you. “It’s already late, and you have class early tomorrow. You should hang up and sleep.”

Jungkook hummed in response, “I’ll start getting ready for bed soon…but you should hang up first.”

You tilted your head in wonder. “Why? Shouldn’t you hang up first?”

“No, you hang u—”

“‘Kay! Good night!” He didn’t even give you a response as you hung up so hastily. You tossed your phone onto the mattress. You rushed out your door—that was fixed and paid off by Seokjin—and went to your mentor to announce the news.

Meanwhile, Jungkook stared blankly at his darkened phone screen for a good minute after you ended the call. He tightened his grip on his smartphone as he bit his lip in an aggravating manner. He took deep breaths, soothing himself. He needed to relax on this whole thing. 

He doesn’t love you. You don’t love him.

That’s that.

But why does he feel so sad about it?

-

“Why are you in a suit?”

Okay, quick little update—It has been a week later and you and Seokjin decided to have Jungkook meet the two of you at the house that Seokjin stole—you honestly don’t know but you have it again—since it wasn’t safe for the human to come to the demon realm.

You haven’t seen Jungkook since because you prepared for the conference. You planned the dinner, begged Seokjin what certain topics of discussion were off-limits, took a midterm that you probably failed, and overall mentally prepared for your mentor and human to meet.

Though you prepped, with Seokjin, there was no telling what was happening. He was being vague with what he had intended and usually shoved a fucking hundred-page intake form in your face. You were nervous, flying around the living room and keeping your hands busy with cooking just hours prior.

Now it was happening and you opened the front entrance right after Jungkook texted you that he was here and afraid. Mainly because the house appeared otherworldly and resembled a murder scene.

When you opened the door, you raised your brows in bewilderment, seeing the human clean cut, looking too professional compared to your pastel green baby doll dress under the strawberry printed apron you had over and bunny house slippers. 

Jungkook wore an all-grey suit with black Chelsea boots. The attire included a matching fabric belt that wrapped around his waist, accentuating his proportions. Underneath, he wore an ebony button-down shirt and the same colored tie. But the best part of it all was that his hair was gelled and pushed back, revealing his supple sexy forehead and bold brows with his lip and ear piercings on display. Lastly, in his hands, he had a bouquet of purple roses.

This was a prime example of how he can get you naked with the faintest look to you.

It wasn’t that you hated him dressed like that. You pondered why he was so formal for a dinner inside an abandoned building.

“Wanted to dress to impress.” More like dress to feel better than that fucking Seokjin guy because I am better.

“You do realize it’s only us three. I’m boringly dressed like this.” You presented your dress even twirled around. Your succubus form was mellow and revealed. You didn’t like hiding your wings and tail because it can get cramped for you. You felt at peace when you didn’t need to hide when you were around Jungkook.

Your hair was pushed back by a green headband, making you extra lovely in his eyes. Though obvious with the seductive succubus stereotype, it fascinated the human how…contradicting you were. Most of the time you didn’t know what you were doing especially with other human men, there were times when you made the room feel disturbingly awkward, you were shit at flirting, and every flirt directed to you was in and out of your ears.

Regardless, that was what made you you and Jungkook loved everything about it. You had your own charm and approach to things. When others expected you to do one thing, you do it in another way. You kept your kindness high and on lock. Sometimes thinking of others before you.

An advantage that Seokjin may have used in the past…for education reasons of course.

“And you look so pretty, ___.” Jungkook complimented you in awe of your beauty. He hasn’t seen you for over a week and finally seeing you in person instead of on his phone screen, he wished to never part with you anymore.

“Aww, thanks, Koo.” You cooed and felt a little heat creeping on your cheeks. “I guess you don’t look bad yourself. Very handsome.”

“So you think I’m handsome?”

You giggled loudly and awkwardly. That was…concerning to him. “Yeah…” You almost sounded bored and he regretted bringing it up. You paused for a bit until you finally brought up the flowers he brought. “You brought flowers?”

“Oh, yeah. I got them since tonight felt pretty important.” He replied, handing them to you. You examined the pretty petals and blooming of the roses before sniffing the aroma. “They’re actually for y—”

“They’re so pretty, Jungkook! Seokjin’s gonna love them!” You interrupted him as you went towards the kitchen to find an empty vase for them, leaving the human standing like the emoji. He watched your form disappear to another room before you shouted for him to follow.

Once he reached you, you planted the flowers on the granite counter while you searched through the cabinets for the flower holder. As you did so, Jungkook brought up a question. “So…where is Seokjin?”

You finally found a vase when he asked. “He had to do something in Naameth before this. He should be arriving any minute.” You said as you filled it up with water.

“Huh? Late to the meeting? Doesn’t seem like a reliable person…” Jungkook tried to be discreet but he really wasn’t.

“You’re both late. Almost an hour and a half.” You pointed out without thought as you positioned the purple roses inside the jug and decorated them at the center of the kitchen table. “At least he told me beforehand.”

You weren’t scolding the human, though you were blunt and stated facts. It caused Jungkook to feel ashamed because he was indeed late, but didn’t bother to speak up about it. “Sorry, I got nervous so I had to use the bathroom a couple of times before coming here.”

“Oh, Jungkook!” You chuckled at his shy state, turning back to him. You’ve never seen him like this before. “There’s no reason to be nervous. I think Seokjin will like you.”

Why were you making everything about Seokjin? That wasn’t why he was nervous. “No, it’s not that.” He denied, holding the edge of the kitchen surface.

“Then what is it?” You came forth, grabbing and holding his hand with your two smaller ones. You looked concerned, almost like you wanted to take action to make his worries away.

He still was in denial.

Jungkook could only open his mouth when the two of you heard a loud bang erupt, making you both flinch and search for the noise. It came from the front, so you scurried together and passed the living room to find the cause.

In all his fucking glory and shining ego, your one and only mentor arrived like a celebrity on the red carpet. The Seokjin wore a white double-breasted blazer with a dress shirt that matched underneath. The shoulder pads of the jacket made his wide-set shoulders even more like the hypotenuse of a Pythagorean theorem. The right side of it draped down reaching his thigh, giving an asymmetrical look. Instead of going monochrome, the incubus opted for black pants and boots.

Seokjin’s hair was also pushed back, but there was a ridiculously enormous ivory fedora sitting at the top of his head. What made it even worse was a gold feather attached to it. Though it sounded outrageous, the demon somehow made it work.

Seokjin’s eyes strolled around the house until they landed on your puzzled ones. A smile beamed on his face then he spreads his arms wide open before strutting up to your stature. “My darling love!!”

Once he got to you, he pulled your body into his chest and spun you around. After that, he puts you down and kissed the top of your head, leaving you flabbergasted and Jungkook’s jaw clenched. What the fuck Seokjin?

“Uhh, Seokjin, what are you doing?” You questioned, not understanding what was going on. You stepped away from him and moved closer to Jungkook.

“What do you mean, little one? I’m greeting you.” Your mentor responded oh so causally.

“You’re not really lik—”

“Ahh, you must be Jeon Jungkook.” Seokjin ignored what you said when he immediately faced contact with the only human in the room. “It’s great to finally meet you. I’ve heard so many things about you!” He extended his hand for a handshake.

Hmmm, that seemed to give Jungkook a bit of satisfaction so he accepted the introduction and shook his hand. “Same for you…but I never knew she talked about me.”

“Yes, of course. She does…when we’re in her room alone together.”

Jungkook’s face sank. His head craned to you to see you…nodding???

“Yeah, and sometimes in his office.” You agreed. Uhhhh, was this going well?

“Anyways, shall we get started Jungkook?” Seokjin recommended. “You and I can chat in the dining area while our ___ here will finish up cooking. She’s making her signature dish! It’s incredible. Believe me. I’ve had it before.” He exaggerated the last parts towards the human while rubbing his stomach.

Jungkook’s right eye twitched and it doesn’t go unnoticed by a close-lipped smile from Seokjin who seemed unbothered.

Meanwhile, you didn’t see anything. “I wouldn’t call it my signature dish, but I wanted to be mindful of Jungkook’s taste. He doesn’t like anything too sour and many of demon’s dishes taste quite sour.”

Again, you were acknowledging his preferences, being so cautious with him. Jungkook’s heart palpitated quicker than before when you ended your statement with a smile and gaze at him.

“Plus this dish doesn’t have garlic and Seokjin is allergic to that!”

It was great while it lasted.

-

While you were preoccupied in the kitchen cooking and listening to this band that shined through the city with a little funk and soul, Jungkook was alone in the dining room with Seokjin. They sat across each other on the long table, one sat on the farthest end and the other did the same on the other end. Their posture was straight with their hands intertwined, resting on the table, almost like they were mimicking one another.

Though it only has been five minutes, nothing was said just glares. More so, towards the nonchalant Seokjin who kept his eye contact, Jungkook leered aggressively at the sight of the demon. All because he had three reasons to act this way.

Number one—Jungkook was pissed off because Seokjin was fucking gorgeous and hot. He was wrong. How was this level of sexiness possible? You informed him that sex demons were born to be visually pleasing, but this fucking dude took the prize of most handsome and went home within the minute. He dreaded it so much but had to give props to the incubus.

Number B—was the way Seokjin held and kissed you…and like you accepted? He never wanted to see you in the arms of another, that idea made him want to vomit his brains out. 

Finally, letter 3—it was almost as if Seokjin indirectly challenged him, eyeing the human out every chance he had. Was that it? Does Seokjin want a competition? What was his catch? Weren’t they supposed to discuss your training and abilities? Why was this turning into who gets to claim you?

Well, you shouldn’t be claimed regardless…but in Jungkook’s defense, you were his.

“So are we gonna discuss ___ and her training?” Jungkook was the first to break the ice as scowling at the strong demon was going nowhere. “I want this to be productive for not only her but myself too.”

“Wow, you seem to care a lot about her, human,” Seokjin commented, slowly nodding his head as he wrote down something on a piece of paper in his opened manila folder. “Do you know why I wanted to see you? Better yet, do you know why I’m talking to you?”

The human cocked an eyebrow. “Uhh, ___ said that the higher-ups said we needed to meet.”

The demon hummed in response as he leaned back into his chair. “Well, that’s the main reason, but there are other answers to that question.”

Jungkook grew confused. “What do you mean?”

Seokjin sagged his head to the side to look past Jungkook to watch you dancing stiffly. “___ is a special demon. So special that she had to get a task helper for her training.” He began. “And so special that she’s important to me.”

Okay, we’re getting to the good stuff because Jungkook squinted his eyes at the demon in front of him. “She’s important to you?”

“Yes, why do you sound like it’s shocking?” Seokjin replied, eyes testing the human. “I mean you had to meet me for her sake.”

“Isn’t it the other way around?”

“Nope, because the higher-ups needed me to see how capable you are. You think a strong, powerful, and handsome demon like myself would willingly want to meet an egotistical zealous human like you? You’re practically a side bug ready to be flicked away if I say you go.”

“What even are you to her?” The human scoffed, not caring if he was being rude to a demon who kill his ass with one hit. “You’re acting so high and fucking mighty. You could be meaningless in all of this.”

“Funny you ask that…” The incubus chuckled darkly. He leaned forward as if he was telling a secret to him despite the one-and-a-half meter distance. But with his powers, Seokjin whispered, “She’s my little play toy.”

Though soft-spoken, his words traveled loud and clear in Jungkook’s ear. The tone mocked the human’s ego and pride, his possession over you. He hated it. He fucking hated it. 

And to make matters worse, Seokjin had the power to replay those words in his head. She’s my little play toy. She’s my little play toy. She’s my little play toy. She’s my little play toy. She’s Seokjin’s little play toy.

Jungkook gritted his teeth as he held onto the table tightly to ease his anger. He needed his positive mindset to overcast the shit Seokjin was doing. You were not his play toy. You weren’t Seokjin’s. You weren’t his to play with.

It should be him. But not as a play toy. But one to be with and to be cherished by him. He should be the one to call you his. He should be the one to hug you and twirl you around. He should be the one to kiss your forehead. He should be the one to call you “my darling love.” He should—

“Dinner’s ready!” You announced flying in all perky and filled with joy. Your horns wiggled in delight at the food. Wings flapping in the air, you patted Jungkook’s head, snapping him out of his trance to gawk at you.

Your puffy smile and crinkled eyes consoled his inner turmoil. How was it possible that the sight of you washed away his worries yet made his heart ache so bad he felt like he was about to explore? What was going on with him on the inside? He couldn’t understand it. He didn’t want to understand it. There was no way.

You flew towards your mentor, ready to slap that goofy grin off his bothersome face when Seokjin grabbed you by the arm and tugged you down. You landed on his lap unexpectedly, making a “humph’ sound. You blinked profoundly at him before saying, “What the fu—”

Usually, Seokjin interrupts you by talking and not caring about anything you say, but today was different. He halted your complaint by kissing you on the lips. Your eyes widened, and you didn’t dare to kiss back. Sure, they were soft but fucking disgusting. It was like kissing an uncle.

It was also different from what you’re used to and you couldn’t help but compare.

You stayed still like a dead fish as your mentor tried deepening the kiss. You were too shocked to even push away. But it was a voice that you knew all too well that ultimately stopped your interaction with Seokjin.

“NO!” Jungkook slammed his palms on the table, standing up from his seat.

Seokjin parted away from you and didn’t even bother to look at your disturbed expression. On the other hand, he was very much interested in finding a furious and raging Jungkook before him. Seokjin swore he heard growls from the human. This human must be a different breed, the incubus thought.

Livid heat dragged down his neck, his jaw sharpened and clenched, and steam blew out of his nostrils. Jungkook charged toward the two of you. Though you were innocent and puzzled by all of this, the human snatched you off of your mentor by the waist with one arm, carrying you. 

With his vacant arm, Jungkook thought it was a fast and effective solution to beat the shit out of Seokjin. So using all the force and techniques he learned through boxing, he punched Seokjin once, causing the demon to fall to the ground.

However, it seemed that Jungkook was done with Seokjin as he began to walk away with you now in both of his arms. You said nothing, not knowing how to contribute to this. But you chose to glance over to your mentor.

Knowing Seokjin, he doesn’t hold if someone attacks him. But at that moment, he watched the two of you walk away calmly before winking at you cheekily.

Seriously, what the fuck was going on?

You spoke no words to Jungkook as you migrated elsewhere into the house. It was when he threw you onto a bed, you realized he brought you into your bedroom. You followed his moves when he locked the door and removed his jacket from him. With piercing irises meeting your fazed doe-eyes, he loosened his tie before taking it off as well. He rolled up his sleeves up to his elbow to his comfort and liking.

He stalked around the bed, eyeing your every move, every facial expression, every breath. You sensed his dominating presence radiating the whole area, growing by the second. You surely understood what was going to happen when he was like this but still unsure of why was it happening right now and before dinner.

You feared him in an arousing way because you were excited to do this with him. It has been a while since Jungkook has been very clingy lately. You thought you anticipated his every move but tonight, you were going to be wrong and sorry that you assumed in the first place.

Your submission gradually exposed itself, afraid to speak up but you needed to know. “U-uh, Jungkook, why are you—”

“It’s sir to you, angel. Have I not been clear from the fucking start?” His dark voice spat venom, leaving no signs of care and cuddles for you.

“Yes, you’ve been clear, sir. I’m sorry, sir.” You hiccuped, you felt yourself shrinking before him. It was the way you both loved it. His mouth twitched but restrained himself from showing anything else but this. He came forth, being on the end of the bed, and leered down at you with that familiar stare. “S-sir, I’m just wondering why you—Eeek!”

Perhaps it was Not Let ___ Talk Day because you couldn’t finish your sentence when Jungkook flipped you over effortlessly by your waist. He pulled your legs and rested your knees onto the mattress, ass raised high in the air. He used his other hand and pushed down your back, bending your spine while your face was smushed into the sheets.

You wiggled as a reaction, but Jungkook wasn’t having it. He lifted the skirt of your dress, revealing your purple lacy thong that barely covered your tiny but chubby pussy. Though he wanted to let out a sigh of please, he was on a mission. With a heavy hand, he smacked your ass to keep you still.

You squeaked at the stinging sensation but felt yourself getting leaking down your hole. You couldn’t help it…he was that attractive, you were a sex demon, and you wanted more.

 “You should know to keep still, you fucking slut!” He spat, giving you another spank and you groaned. “Do I have to repeat myself?”

“N-no, sir.” You sniffled, digging your face into the comforter.

Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap. Each slap got harder and harder. You swore your ass cheeks were getting numb from the ache. Your skin probably had his hand imprint, feeling raw and tender from his continuous slaps.

You heard the noise of unbuckling and a belt slithering out. You waited quietly until you voiced out a cry when the leather strap touched your swollen red ass cheek and coccyx. “Nooo, Koo!”

The evilness in Jungkook softened when he heard your pleading cry. He dropped the belt and crawled beside you. He helped you move your head to face him. You were flushed, and tears threatened to fall down your cheeks but he found the lust still in your eyes. He noticed how your ass trembled, but your tail looked in shock by it. 

“Angel, did I hurt you?” With no words, you nodded timidly. Fuck, Jungkook wanted to beat himself up for pushing your limits. “Fuck ___, I’m so sorry. I’m such a shithead. We’ll stop this right no—”

“No, we don’t need to, sir.” You reassured, giving him such a precious grin. “Just no belt, please?”

He saw you, serious and promising as ever. He didn’t deserve you at all. Yet you still took him in with all your might and will. You wanted him to continue, he knew it. It was all over your face.

He smiled ever so gently, truly taking you in. He moved down to kiss your ass cheek and caressed your tail which made you inhale sharply. He went back to you grinning once more before came the cynical expression. 

He stood up from the bed, observing your position. You daringly wiggled your behind once again, releasing any guilt Jungkook previously had. Shit, you’re such a tease.

He gave you one last spank before rubbing your pained bottom. You jolted from time to time, experiencing the ghost of the slaps. Once you seemed laxer, Jungkook turned you over on your back and wings. His stare leering at you while you peered open with eyes that screamed “more!”

“Take off everything, slut.” Jungkook demanded.

So with the blink of an eye, your clothes and undergarments were gone, leaving you bare. One interesting power you obtained from the past months was your ability to take your clothes off when you feel like it without even moving an inch. You were confused by it, even telling Seokjin about it. But your mentor told you succubi can develop special and personal powers on top of the standard skills. It was great for you, extra great for Jungkook. 

He paused for a while, pupils dancing all over your supple body. It was something he knew he would never get tired of seeing. From the top of your head, down to your plush breasts, the curves of your waist and hips, and your captivating legs. But in between your legs laid the cunt he wanted to devour for years.

You were already practically flowing a river, drenching the bedsheet under you. He could see a translucent string connected from your hole to the dampened area. You were always so ready for him. 

He grunted softly, his mouth watering at the sight of your center. He wanted to taste it, yet he still had other plans with you. Grabbing his belt off the floor, he walked steadily to your form. “Arms up.” You obliged within half a second. He hoisted you up the bed. Tying your wrists with the leather, he attached it to the headboard. He tugged on making sure it wasn’t too tight for you, so when you nodded, you were ready to go.

He climbed the bed. Your eyes met with his, his warm breathing hit your cheek. He gulped then clenched his jaw, demeanor hardening the more he kept his gaze. “You deserve to be punished, you stupid whore.”

Your irises enlarged, growing puzzled by his statement. “Why do I have t—“

“Did I say to fucking talk?!?!” He fumed, making you flinch. You quickly shook your head in denial. “You talk when I tell you to, and you do as I fucking say! When I ask you a question, you better answer! I’m not gonna repeat myself. Am I clear?”

You nodded cowardly but it wasn’t the right answer. Jungkook groaned in frustration, which led him to reach over to your nipple and pinch it hard. You winced at the pain yet pleasure of his touch. Your body wanted to submit to him. “Yes, you’re clear, sir!!”

“Good little demon.” He finally complimented and your horns twitched, which doesn’t go unnoticed by him but won’t acknowledge out in the open.

Jungkook had his hands on your knees before spreading them wide to get a clearer view of your glistening cunt. Fuck, he wanted to die. So pretty and swollen, just for him. He bent down to be on eye level. You felt him lingering before he lightly blew into your heat. You moaned softly, the cool air touching you though it wasn’t what you wanted. But you stayed quiet so that Jungkook doesn’t get angry. 

He pulled back and it killed you, almost barking back. But when he shoved two fingers in your sudden hole, all thoughts disappeared and a high-pitched whine snapped out of you. He was not slow and steady. He wasted no time pumping hard in circular motions into your pussy, trying to find your sweet spot. When your voice raised higher, he knew he had already found it.

He then pushed in another finger to help you get more stretched out. It was immaculate how tight your cunt was despite taking in his thick dick. He cursed under his breath, watching you having a harder time breathing from all the mewling you did. Your face was already so enamored with what little he did to you, making him grin like an asshole.

“Such a little slut. Do you like it when I finger this tight fucking cunt?”

You nodded like a child wanting candy. “Yes, I love it, sir.” He kept hitting your g-spot and you got so dizzy. Jungkook decided to test your limit again by adding another finger in you. It was a snug fit but he was still able to continue his thrusts. His palm was practically inside of you getting messed up by the amount of essence you spurted out.

The stretch gave a dull pinch, but you handled it well. You dug your fingers into your palm as it was the only thing you could do besides attempting to break free from the belt which was unsuccessful. But holy shit, so many of his fingers touched your nerves. Each swipe to your rough patch made you go crazy. Your petals sang choir songs to his ears, body, and soul. You felt the knot in your stomach breaking, getting closer and closer to your finish line. Jungkook could feel you reaching your high, so he fastened his pace.

You moaned loudly, knowing what was about to come. However, the human decided to pull out of you a second before you came. You winced as your stretched-out walls pulsed around nothing. Your soaking cunt dripped and ached in pain from the denial. Tears escaped your eyes, your nose getting stuffier than before, and the painful eyes you gave to an unbothered human.

“I didn’t say to cum. You cum when I tell you to.” Jungkook growled, then slurping all of your wetness from his palm to the tip of his fingers. 

“P-puh-please, s-sir.” You tried to speak, but you were getting intoxicated by the horniness you had for that man. “C-can…I…cum?”

“Aww, you’re begging. How cute.” He spoke condescendingly yet you gave no fucks because all you wanted right now was his dick. Which by the way looked insane hard and large in his pants. “But no, you don’t deserve it.”

“H-huh?”

“You wanna cum, you gotta earn it.” He sneered before slapping your inner thigh so close to your wet folds but not close enough. You could only let out a pliant sound, watching his menacing aura boost. “Do you still have those red candles?”

In a haze, you nodded. A while back, one of your tasks was the use of BDSM and you got provided a box filled with toys and other items to use. Besides rope, blindfolds, and ball gags, there were scarlet strawberry-scented massage candles. But they were never used because there was no time and that task went on for AGES.

However, Jungkook thought now was a good time to use them. “Bring them in.”

To his command, you magically brought it from Naameth. They were displayed on your nightstand, unused and neatly placed with the violet-colored lighter next to them.

Jungkook reached over for one of them and the lighter. Concentrated on what he had in his hands, he examined the two. The long candle presented hefty due to its thickness but it weighed light. He wafted the fruity aroma and hummed in delight before igniting the wick.

Ember appeared before him, illuminating a small bubble around it. He waited until he started seeing a small pool of liquid for the real games to begin.

Hovering it over your intoxicated cunt, he titled the candle. The ruby fluid flowed down and dripped onto your sensitivity, making you yelp at the burn. He moved all over your form, going from your nipples, your navel, back to your center, your neck, and any of your parts he knew you were sensitive in. 

The stinging pain electrified your body, cascading a new tsunami of emotions you’ve never experienced before. Streams of wax trickled down and solidified on your burning skin, marking you.

“You like this?” Jungkook interrogated while you measly nodded, quaking as more of the candle wax landed on you. “Of course, you do. You filthy demon.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes before placing the still-lit candle on the table.

Suddenly, he flipped you over in the same position you first started in. Your wrists rubbed along the belt, probably going to get bruises. He wasted no time slapping your ass again once. He retrieved the candle back, which had melted an abundance of fluid that created a deep pool.

Jungkook enjoyed seeing you in painful pleasure when a sinister smirk morphed on his hot fucking face. Without thinking any further, he had the candle over your back and poured all of it on your wings.

If Jungkook had seen your face, he would have seen your eyes shrink into beady dots. An elongating shriek fled out of you, froth foaming around your mouth. Your burgundy tail rested on the side, hiding away from the utter surprise. Your wings fluttered out of control, shaking like two Christmas ornaments filled with mung beans but not at all in a fun way. 

You tried breaking free but you were scrawny as shit. The burn rushed through your blood and went straight to your agonizing cunt and oozing more of your wetness on the bed. A pleasant sight for the human behind you. The sensation didn’t hurt as much as you expected, but fuck, you were about to go pray to the heavens for something to happen. You sobbed harshly into the pillow because though you felt so much but not enough to reach your peak. Your thighs quaked like a wet cat. you wanted to fucking cum, but he wasn’t letting you. 

“I’m impressed that you’re still not talking and taking it like the whore I know you are,” Jungkook commented before blowing out the candle. The smell of smoke mixed with the artificial strawberry scent lingered in the area.

You didn’t bother turning back to him. Instead, you dug your head into the duvet and unconsciously arched your back lower to accentuate your rounded ass. Jungkook groaned at his perfect vision of you. He guessed you deserve something. “Just for that, you deserve a little treat.” Putting his hands in the dips of your waist, he hoisted the lower half of your body up in the air.

Being so small, it was easy for gym rat boxing galore Jungkook to carry you like you were a feather. He settled the tops of your thigh onto his shoulders. You practically were levitating since Jungkook was huge even when sitting down. He pushed your spine down and you don’t even know what position this was. He was lucky you weren’t human because you were practically shaped as a “u.” Thank you demon bones.

Jungkook had such a delicious view of your petaled sex, so bloated and drenched just begging for him. He scooted closer to the headboard, bringing you with him. Now only your head was shoved onto the bed because you hung upside down. His strong arms wrapped around you with your shivering thighs still on him.

He leaned his head before sticking his pink tongue into your cunt, making you mewl like the needy little thing you were. The muscle then swiped up and down, pushing its way into you. Then the tip found your clit, causing you to shudder. Tears broke free but they went straight to staining the sheets. You were too stimulated and not enough to feel the release.  

Fuck, you tasted better than the last time like he was eating sweet cherries freshly picked out from the farm. He loved that you can actually change your essence’s flavor but honestly just as it was natural was the best one in his honest opinion.

Then your horns twitched.

Suddenly the arousal changed to your original taste, shocking Jungkook as his eyes widened but didn’t complain one bit. It only gave him more reason to latch on to your sensitivity and suckled the way you loved. Your legs trembling in ecstasy but he kept you still in his arms. Your moans increased by the second, wanting to speak his name but you didn’t dare to.

Until he gripped your tail.

“Sir!” You wept out, turning your head to breathe some oxygen. Jungkook surprisingly didn’t punish you and continued stroking your appendage. His thumb applied pressure, amplifying the state you were in. If you weren’t a moaning mess before, you most certainly were now. Your mind turned into cotton. Your eyes rolled back as your hips pushed towards his face.

His lapping tongue embedded your shaking center while the tip of his nose poked your aching bud. He ran his fingers from your tailbone to the heart tip. He went back to your base and pulled on it not too harshly but not too lightly either. You swore you were about to see stars from all this stimulation. The build-up in you got stronger and stronger, almost toward the finish line. “O-oh, I gonna cu—”

Subsequently, he stopped again. He released your tail and plopped your body back onto the mattress, bouncing from the impact. “No, you’re not.” He scooted away from you, legs spread open as he felt himself losing patience with him.

You whimpered, hot streams going down your cheeks. Dammit, you were so close. As sadist as Jungkook was in bed, this by far had to be the cruelest thing he has ever done to you. You’d rather have a bajillion orgasms than get denied them.

“Remember what I fucking said, slut. You can’t come unless I say so and you don’t deserve it after what you did.”

You were on the verge of losing the 3% of insanity left in you. You weren’t understanding your position right now. Yes, you loved the pain and the pleasure he gave but why did he do it right before dinner time? Tonight was supposed to be important but now you’re suddenly blamed for reasons you don’t know. So you spoke without caring about the consequences. You twisted onto your back to face his darkened blushed expression. Your wrists were hurt from the constraint. “W-why can’t I c-cum? I ne-never did a-anything!”

Wow, you finally yelled back. It took you long enough. But Jungkook, being stubborn and never wanting to back down, wanted to punish you. Unfortunately, his feelings for you were in the way and he had to let out his thoughts, or else, he was about to explode. “Because you let Seokjin fucking kiss you!” He spat out. “You don’t get to cum until you realize you don’t need him in your life!”

You blinked dumbly, taken aback. What the fuck was he talking about? Seokjin was your mentor, you needed him! Even after you finished your training, he was your mentor for all eternity. “Wh-what? I do need him! He can’t go away!” A bit of logic crept into your brain, trying to understand what Jungkook was getting at.

“Wrong answer, angel.”

Jungkook got off of the bed, pupils never leaving yours. Button by button, he unloosened his shirt, exposing his glistening tan skin and chocolate bar abs. Once he flicked it off of him, his sleeve tattoos were fully visible. He unzipped his pants, freeing him from the clothing. The outline of his hardened girthy dick and the wet spot on his boxers was clearly shown and it made your mouth water. Damn, this human was so defined. You wanted to throw up at how sexy he was.

He cupped himself to relieve some discomfort he went through. He bit his lips while staring into your gleaming pupils, so clueless about how he truly felt yet you still managed to bewitch him regardless. He removed the last article on him, now bare with his curved cock bouncing from his movements. He played with his lip ring, smirking at how you got unconsciously rubbed your thighs together as he played with himself. “What do you want?”

You gulped, “I-I-I want you, sir.”

Jungkook snorted haughtily, “Yeah, right. Go to Seokjin, maybe he’ll give you the half-ass orgasm that you deserved.”

You furrowed your eyebrows again. What the fuck does Seokjin have to do with all of this? You would never let him touch you the way Jungkook does. Why does he sound like he has so much hatred for your mentor? They fucking met an hour ago.

You shook your head naively, “No, I want you, Jungkook. I always have.”

Your voice and words stabbed his heart. How could you even say that when you’re with Seokjin? Wait, hold on…are you cheating on the demon with him? Are you a cheater? But doesn’t Seokjin know that you’ve been fucking him? Maybe it was an open relationship? What the fuck was between you and Seokjin?

But Jungkook realized—he was only your task helper. Nothing more, nothing less. That was why Seokjin was okay with all of this. That was why you weren’t acknowledging what he did for you. It was mindless. You needed a human to help you with your training, and that was what you got.

Your relationship was nonexistent, and it ached Jungkook. Fuck, he can’t do this anymore. He couldn’t suppress it any longer. Demon or not, you were you and he was him. You were vulnerable and dense to everything, you almost killed him by accident every single time, but he loved it because you still had a good heart and you cared wholeheartedly. You were the literal perfect being in his life.

He was in love with you and there was no way of stopping him.

Was this how the hookups and flings felt? Because it was hurting him on the inside very deeply. This was probably karma.

“Jungkook?” You called out, snapping him out of his trance.

The human blinked a couple of times before acknowledging you again. You were naked, legs spread apart. Your perspired skin glowed under the warm light. Breasts were perky and nipples were pointed. Your arousal leaked down your perineum, even landing on your puckered anus.

He thought this was the last time that he would see you like this. He had to stop seeing you. It was no good for his human heart. He didn’t want to go through this unrequited love any longer. He had to give up immediately. Well…after he fucks you into oblivion as a last hoorah, then he’d give up.

Like a hyena attacking its prey, Jungkook was back in bed. He felt his emotions threatening to get to him through his tear ducts. He couldn’t do that right now, he had to suck it up and release all of it through fucking you. He blinked rapidly to keep his cool. His hands reached the back of your thighs, opening you up.

His eye contact was fierce, scrutinizing your soul. It made your demon heart skip a beat at how intense he looked at you. Without breaking, he took himself and positioned it to your slit. He didn’t ask if you were ready as he was already going in but slower than usual. Inch by inch, he disappeared in you and you mewled at the stretch of him. He pushed in once more until the head touched your tiny cervix, promptly making you go unhinged. 

You were drooling, getting the drug you finally wanted. You talked nonsensically as you bit down on your lower lips. You could practically cum, but you knew you couldn’t. How was it possible for a human dick to ruin your entire existence? That, you don’t know but you weren’t complaining.

All you could think about was Jungkook, his body, his cock, his personality, his soul. Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook. It was all about him.

He didn’t ask to move; he just did. Knowing you, you also wanted him to start now. However, he wanted to make this last as long as he could. But he felt too stimulated he thought he was going to burst in you once he filled you up. The love he had for you overpowered his control, his dominance. His pace was different, it was slower yet way harder than usual.

Each thrust made you squirm under him. You looked so pretty, cross-eyed, with hair sticking on your forehead, and trying to escape your confinement. You pleaded to get out of it by weeping high-pitched noises. You badly wanted to touch him, hold him. “Pweesh, t-t-toush you!” You yanked on the belt, attempting anything. You were numb on your wrists, only sensing the cock pounding you like there was no tomorrow. “Toush you!”

Jungkook refused for him to touch you because it will only break him into a million pieces. If you laid a hand on him, he wouldn’t want to let go of you. But he was selfish, so so so selfish. He needed this way more than you did. It was for his one last time and his everlasting memory. 

Without contemplating any longer, he penetrated deeper into you. With one hand on your hips for stability, he untied your wrists. When you were free, the weight of your hands felt heavier as they bounced onto the wrinkled covers. They were much more tired than expected but Jungkook took your wrists with his hand to examine the marks that formed around them, noticing the red and purple sores.

He held them to his lips and pecked endless kisses like it was medicine to the pain. It was sort of like that because they weren’t as delicate as they appeared. His tongue lapped around the bruises. Your hands were lighter than before, allowing you to wrap them around his nape. You caught him by surprise as his big bunny eyes widened.

You pulled him near you, your noses meeting. Your lips were swollen and red, relentless moans escaped your mouth. You ran your fingers into his damp raven hair, securing hold onto him. You had no brain anymore, no thinks, no words. You lived and breathe to obey him. You were now and always will be Jungkook’s pocketpussy.

You stretched your head, puckering your lips to finally meet his, also shocking him and his brain. His heart thumped faster than normal, especially when you swiped your tongue over his teeth. The kiss grew messier, slobbering around the rims of your mouths and exchanging and swallowing each other’s spit. 

Jungkook stopped tonguing you but his mouth was still on yours. “Say you’re mine. I wanna hear you say it.” He grunted. His long cock dragged in your battered pussy. “Fucking say it!”

“Y-yours, sir! I yours!”

“No, say my name right now!” Jungkook commanded. Even though he loved his sir kink, he needed to hear his name out of your mouth. “Whose are you?”

“I’m yours, Jungkook!”

“That’s right. Fucking slutty demon creaming around my big cock, you better be.” His pace increased roughly, making the pressure in your abdomen come back again. Your walls ached in hopes that you weren’t going to be rid of another orgasm. The connectedness between you two sounded sticky and wet as his dick collected the ring of foaming white from you. 

“I am—hunghhh! I-I-I’ll always be.” You truthfully said, but Jungkook didn’t believe you. You were drunk in carnality. 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” There was envy and wrath in his voice but it was to cover his frail judgments. “You take what you fucking get.”

“But mo’! More! Mo’!” You begged brainlessly, wrapping your legs around his waist. “Pweesh, sir!”

“I must have fucking spoiled you. Begging for more that you can’t even handle, slut! Bad demon!” He ridiculed you, but you loved it so much. Your weakened succubus mind loved his cruel insults.

“I not bad!!!” You sobbed, tears bubbling up around your eyes from the stimulation.

“Yes, you fucking are. Bad to me because I can’t get enough of you! Bad to my body, bad to my cock that only wants to be wrapped around this tight fucking pussy.” He impaled you rampantly, your cunt bawling at the crude action. “Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!” With each thrust, he emphasized and then pinched your inflated clit in between his index finger and thumb. 

You screamed as you knew you couldn’t hold it in any longer. The knot in you played tug-o-war. Body vibrating endlessly like a cellular device’s alarm, you were about to die if you kept it in. “Cum! Cum! Cum!” You chanted, wishing he’d finally let you. “Cum! Cu—”

“Cum all over me, baby.”

Once he said those words, the sound that came out of you was neither inhumane nor demonic. Your eyes crossed, making you smell the twinkly little stars around. The warmth coursed through your blood while your brain melted into a puddle. You wailed, gasping for air, sounding like a dying pig that was about to turn into bacon. Body convulsed, shuttering every millisecond while helplessly holding onto the solid man above you. He guided you through your high, rocking into you. You clenched tightly around his flaming cock, making him whine that how he was getting closer to his high.

When you finally came, your tail swiveled out and up then sprinkled cum all over your bodies. Jungkook snatched your squirting appendage, causing you to yelp at the sensitivity. He pressed the tip of it into your slightly parted mouth. “Suck up your cum.” Moaning, you succumbed to his command and opened your mouth as he inserted your spewing heart-tailed end. With your tongue sticking out, you tried swallowing your non-stop cum, but it ended up splashing all over your fucked out face.

Jungkook leaned down and joined in on your slurping session. Both of your tongues glided up and down your gushing limb. He followed the pattern of your tail, shaping around smooth ripples. Your muscles met at the tip, drinking in your pool of essence. You were intoxicated and delirious with passion and overstimulation. Your skull was hollow as an abyss. Nothing from you made sense.

He parted away before gripping back onto your hips harshly and faster, causing you to purr. It was too much, but you sucked it up. His dick continued thrusting inside of you, but he was in shambles from also trying to chase his high. 

“Wanna get stuffed?” He grumbled. You could only nod, tongue lolling from side to side. “Get filled by my golden human cum.” You nodded needier. “Are you worthy of it? Are you worthy of me?”

You thought you said yes but gibberish came out instead. But it was his cue to finally cum too.

His head dropped to the crevice of your neck. He pumped into you once more before stilling himself. He whined in your ear, calling your name like a mantra. His trembling abdomen squeezed hard and his grasp on you tensed as he shot out ropes and ropes of sticky white in your battered cunt. He painted your inside, your exhausted body taking in the warmth.

Your eyes glowed scarlet again, absorbing his semen into your powers. Jungkook felt a slight tingle when you unknowingly took particles of his life force again, but he was used to it by now. It was going to come back to him anyways.

He delicately removed himself from you, but you still wailed. He peppered light kisses on your shoulder to ease you. He sat up, seeing how fucked out you looked with his cum spilling out of your wheezing hole. You looked so gorgeous like this and it was all because of him. Not Seokjin. Fucking him.

Fuck, Seokjin.

He didn’t want his cum to go to waste so he scooped the excess from the sheets and pushed it back into you. You let out a long moan, trying to push away his hand but you were too tired to. Once he was satisfied, he lay beside you, gazing at your blushing expression. You were panting heavily, as usual, never going to catch up with his energy. But you were so beautiful, it pained him. 

You turned your head, drooping eyes saw the sparkles in his. He was utterly out of this world. A star shining above the rest, yet he was next to you and you wouldn’t change it anywhere even if you were realms apart.

Your shaking hand engulfed his cheek, your thumb rubbing his sweaty skin. You closed your eyes and moved towards him to close the gap, but you suddenly felt him pull away. Your eyelids snapped open when you saw him staggering out of bed.

“I-I-I have to get out of here.” He announced, rushingly scanning the room for his clothes. He had to leave now or else he was never backing out.

Though you were in a disoriented daze from post-coital, him saying he had to leave triggered your senses. You jolted up, watching him collect his garments. You never saw him this frazzled or in a hurry before. Every time you had sex, he enjoyed cuddling with you or keeping you in his arms. You were baffled and actually peeved off he was acting like this and he wasn’t telling you why.

“Koo, what’s going on?” You questioned, but you grimaced at how groggy your voice was.

“Don’t you fucking Koo me!” He swore at you. Though Jungkook was vile in bed, he was never like that outside of it. This complete 185 frightened and sorrowed you. “You know what you fucking did.”

“No, I don’t.” You informed but it sounded like a question because you didn’t know what you did. Damn, did you fuck up on dinner or something? “Jungkook, why are you so heated? Right now, in bed, more heated than usual.”

His glare on you softened when he realized the dim-wittedness lurking in your pupils. Not a damn thing in you figured out what was going on. You still knew nothing. “Forget it. It’s nothing but I have to—”

"Okay, even I know that's a straight-up lie." You interrupted him, not buying anything he was saying. You wanted to understand his reasoning. He looked so angry and frustrated. Yet you weren’t, so you wanted to calm him down and be mindful of whatever you did to make him this upset. "Talk to me. I've been easygoing, haven't I?"

"No."

"What do you mean?" You pouted cutely, and it only angered him even more.

"You're so frustrating!" Jungkook groaned, then paced around the room with his flaccid dick swinging around like a pendulum. "You really have no sense of what's going on, do you?”

Okay, that offended you. You gasped, “Now you're sounding like Seokjin—“

"Oh, Seokjin now? Wow, me sounding like him. Pfft, you might as well go to him instead of getting someone like him."

“I am confusion!”

"You're confused? You're confusing me!!"

"Jungkook, what the fuck is going on? Be clear with me!” You probed for the last time, losing your unwavering patience. You stood up wobbly from the ruined mattress. Though your legs were practically falling apart, you stood your ground. “Do human men also have periods?"

He paused his steps and pivoted towards you. He encircled an arm around your stature, chests pressing each other. He kept your balance when he picked you up and rested his forehead on your shoulder. He needed to say it before he was free from you. "I love you, ___."

Your jaw dropped, stunning you with his confession. Sadly, for the both of you, you don’t react well so you said, ”Uhhh, excuse me?? What the actual fuck?"

He chuckled but there was so much sadness to it. He knew it was too good to be true. He lifted his head, then touched your forehead with his, smelling his warm garlic bread breath (when did he have garlic bread?), and graze your nose. "I said I love you…and I'm embarrassed and miserable because you're with Seokjin."

You morphed a face of horror when he revealed that. “Huh? I’m not with Seokjin. Fuck that!" Never in your whole life would ever think to be with that conniving, irritating, egotistical, yet handsome incubus. You never had a level of attraction to Seokjin as opposed to Jungkook. 

Now Jungkook grew more puzzled. “Then what the fuck is he to you?"

"He's my mentor!! He guides me through and is in charge of my training. As a mentor, he is with me for all eternity!” You explained.“He's the one who wanted to meet with you. I thought I made that clear!"

"No, you didn't!"

"Oh."

You were flabbergasted, you assumed you told him everything about Seokjin. But when you thought about it a little longer, it seemed your explanations were empty and filled with avoidance. In your defense, you never wanted to think about your mentor, especially when you were with Jungkook.

“Yeah, he's touchy and affectionate with you, even calling you pet names. I assumed you were with him before meeting him too.” Jungkook was distraught, reminiscing about today’s incident in his mind. The way Seokjin held you, and talked to you, it all seemed so real. “Like why else did he kiss you and call you his play toy?”

"Because I like to fuck around!" Seokjin burst through the door unapologetically into the sexed-up scented room, hearing everything that was done and said. You both flinched from the sound, spotting the incubus appearing amused. At first response, Jungkook was quick to protect your body from being shown to another. You weren’t as alarmed. Seokjin saw you naked before due to a physical examination. You glanced blankly at your nosy mentor. "She’s my play toy as in I like to play around and mentally scar her.” Your mentor’s eyes wandered around the mess before landing on Jungkook’s bare ass. “I knew you loved her! Even the higher-ups could see it! You were just being stubborn and ___’s a fucking dumbass to see it!"

“So…Jungkook loves me?” You finally recognized his feelings towards you.

“Did he or I just fucking say that, you dipshit?” Seokjin complained, shaking his head at you.

"But you don't love me either way," Jungkook muttered, peering down at your toes.

"Who said I didn't love you?" You fussed rhetorically. You thought you pointed out your feelings towards him well. "That has to be clear!"

"No, you are immune to my affection. What the fuck?"

“This is spicy.” Seokjin’s commentary was made aware when you leered at him.

“Can you leave us alone?” You yelled. It wasn’t even a question. He needed to leave now.

“Fine, I’ll be right outside by the door.” Seokjin huffed before exiting the broken door and frame. Though he closed it completely shut, the entire door fell, breaking into shattered chunks of wood and leaving the incubus to hear anything you both said. 

"No, I'm sorry! I do love you!" You confessed, taking his large hands into yours. “I’ve always loved you!”

“Finally, fuck!” Seokjin cheered.

Jungkook’s pupils dilated. His heart palpitated faster at your declaration. Was he dreaming? “Stop, no. Really?" You nodded, smiling at his disbelief. “B-but how? You're a demon! I'm a human!"

"So? I love beyond what I am." You simply shrugged before resting your chin on his pectorals, your neck extended to see his face. "I'm also not the first succubus to love a human. Why else did I keep coming back to you?"

"For sex? To help with your training?"

"Well, yes…” He did say something matter-of-factly, so you couldn’t help but agree. But it made him deflate, and you realize it right away. “But also I love being with you because I'm in love with you, Koo!" You tried mending the damage. “I think I can remember my horns twitching during sex. If you thought of something you may like or want on me, I can automatically change it! That only happens when a succubus is in love!” You started saying all kinds of things that were truthful and how much you loved him. “I love spending time with you, I love your kisses, I love your cuddles, I love when you get nasty, and you have very nice penmanship too!”

Your continuous list made his inside warm and flutter like butterflies. He loved every bit of it. He finally glowed brightly with that bunny smile you adored. 

He clutched an arm over your waist before bending you backward and dipping down. “I’m in love with you too." Your noses touched and your lips were only centimeters away. "You've changed me. I don't know if it's because of your powers, or your charm, or your fucking obsession with granola, but I can't think of and refuse to be with anyone else but you, my beloved angel."

“Then please love me, Jungkook?” You asked oh so sweetly and lovingly, curling your lips with the bats you were getting in your tummy.

“Baby, that shouldn’t even be a question. I’ll always love you.” He chuckled before meshing your lips perfectly together. A kiss that was filled with so much love and devotion, neither of you wanted to let go. You were both fucking dumbasses who were in love with each other but had miscommunication to thicken the damn plot.

Fuck you, writer.

Jungkook pecked little kisses on your lips, cheeks, and forehead, making you giggle. He then pulled back and placed you back on your feet. “But you must take responsibility for turning me into a loser who giggles at your short text messages."

"That I will!" You jumped and clapped, beginning to float into the air. Your wings and tail danced happily. “I’m glad to have had you as my first task!" You smooched Jungkook’s cheek, hugging his muscular form.

"You were bitching at me about him!" Seokjin came back into the room with his arms folded into his chest.

Not bothered by your mentor’s interruptions, you rolled your eyes and whined, ”That was beforehand! I didn't know him!"

"Yeah, whatever. So are you all good and together I assume?" Seokjin grinned with the “okay” sign before reaching Jungkook’s attention. "Don't worry, human. She was never my type—whiny and a pain in my gorgeous ass."

"Hey!" You fretted.

Jungkook focused on the sex demon. Maybe Seokjin wasn’t all bad. Though he did it in a fucked up way, the human comprehended how much Seokjin did care for you and he assumed himself too since your mentor helped your relationship finally blossom. He just didn’t like saying how much he cared outwardly. “We're good! Thank you, Seokjin. Sorry for punching you.”

“It’s fine. I felt like I was in a drama and I was the antagonist though I like to consider the anti-hero in this fanfic.” Seokjin glanced at the reader through the screen. You and Jungkook stared at one another, not sure what Seokjin peeked at. "Well, anyways, everything will be fine. I’ll send a positive report to the higher-ups. But Jungkook, you must be okay with helping ___ with her tasks. Some are more far-fetched than others."

"It should be fine with me. We've been experimenting plenty in our love life." He glimpsed at you rubbing your cheek onto his chest, even inhaling his musk. He kissed the top of your head with satisfaction.

Seokjin hummed in response, knowing what he would say may be bad news to the human “However, I did notice the uncompleted tasks that require a bit…more."

"Like what?"

"A threesome, and considering your jealous dick, you wouldn't like that." The incubus informed, making Jungkook’s smile fade.

You halted your cheek rubbing to stare at your official boyfriend miserable at the discovery. “Jungkook, please! I need this for my training." You begged, intertwining your hands together in front of you. "It won't mean anything, I swear!"

Though he understood it was part of your school, he was still wary. ”Does it have to be human?"

"Not necessarily. Just more of a being." Seokjin answered, watching the situation go slightly bad for the human. "But at least one of you has to be a human, which is you."

“Fine.” Jungkook sighed, pessimistically giving in. But your animated cheers put the grin back on him. “So I'm not letting any of my frat brothers near you like that. Do you have any potentials, my love?

"Hmmm, not really.” You replied, tippy-toeing to kiss his cheek. “Many demons try not to perform sexual activities with each other—wait! I do know one!"

"Who is it?" Your boyfriend cocked an eyebrow.

"He's a warlock from Wennale, the witch realm! He goes by Taehyung!"

"Ahh, yes. Taehyung! Gotta love him, so nice and real talker." Seokjin had a hand over his demon hard with the cheesiest yet wicked grin plastered over his beautiful damn face. "Saw him a few times with little one. Real deal if you ask me.“ He directed it towards Jungkook.

"I'm sorry, what?" Your boyfriend asked monotonously.

"It was nothing serious!” You waved it off. “He did take my virginity, what humans call it, and we did see each other a few more after it. He was sweet, called me pretty, gave me flowers, even tied me up and fu—“

"NOPE! I WILL NOT LET YOU NEAR THAT FUCKING GUY."

A/N: The end…for now. AHAHAHA JK PLS that’s it for the couple as an actual fic. Maybe Drabbles who knows. But thank you for reading <3 Also yes, they were talking to seokjin naked ;-;

All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae 2022 (｡●́‿●̀｡)

Hello! Welcome to the Matchalist🍵 where you can read the stories and sip the tea I share with you all. More drinks of choice—ranging from teaspresso shots and lattes—are being developed, so they will be revealed soon!!

Please note that I created these fanfics myself. I do inform if I’ve been inspired by and if stories are based on movies, songs, ideas, etc. Almost all of my stories are rated mature. If you’re under the age of 18, please do not interact.

Stories are written purely for creative purposes. Main OC/Readers are presented as afab! as it’s coming from my perspective and what I affiliate with. Physical descriptions and appearance of OC/Reader are left vague to leave creativity up to the readers’ minds. If descriptions are applied, it pertains to the plot. BTS are written as fictional characters. In no way, shape or form, are they like this in real life. I do not own HYBE or Bangtan themselves. Feedback (even constructive criticism) and comments are always welcome!

All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae 2023 (｡●́‿●̀｡) Please do not repost, copy, translate, modify, or steal any of my work. Stories are only on here and AO3.

「ONE SHOTS」

⋙ Cien Años (a, f)

Hanahaki AU A sad story of two best friends who loved each other for different reasons.

TBA…

TBA…

TBA…

「ONE SHOTS」

⋙ Best Lover (f, s)

Secret Established Relationship AU, PWP Though hiding a relationship had its struggles, you and Jimin made it work. Which meant learning about each other, knowing the way you both function, understanding flaws…and teaching Jimin how to be the best lover he can be for you.

「SERIES」

⋙ No Kisses (a, f, s)

Football AU, Enemies to Lovers, Frienemies with Benefits It’s championship week! The most anticipated week of the school year; however, leading up to the events, you and your council must collaborate with the football team to promote school spirit and pride. Unfortunately, you’re forced to work with your number one enemy, Football team captain and fuck boy, Kim Taehyung, known for having a mysterious “no kisses” rule.

⋙ Glimpse of Us (a, f, s)

Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

「ONE SHOTS」

⋙ Good for Me (f, s)

Bad Boy AU, PWP You went home for the weekend, leaving a pissed-off and bruised-up Taehyung dry and devastated. So what does he do?—follow you home. Insane? Probs, but you’re always good for him so why not?

「ONE SHOTS」

⋙ Please Teach Me? (s)

Supernatural AU You’re a succubus who doesn’t know a thing or two on luring men, and it doesn’t help that your first task in training is to get the most egotistical fuck boy in the human realm in bed, Beta Tau Sigma president Jeon Jungkook.

↳ Please Love Me! (Sequel to Please Teach Me?) (f, s)

Supernatural AU, Friends with Benefits By thirsty popular demand, I present to you a small sequel to Please Teach Me? Your succubus self has been going back and forth to the human realm to be…friends with benefits??? With your first task, Jeon Jungkook. Though you only see it as him, finding the good in his humanity, and helping you with your training, Jungkook suddenly thinks otherwise. Yet, he’s in denial.

Updated: March 2023

All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae (｡●́‿●̀｡)

Best Lover | PJM

Pairing: CEO’s Assistant Jimin x CEO’s Daughter Reader

Genre: Secret Established Relationship AU, Masquerade, Smut, PWP

Summary: Though hiding a relationship had its struggles, you and Jimin made it work. Which meant learning about each other, knowing the way you both function, understanding flaws…and teaching Jimin how to be the best lover he can be for you.

Inspired by Best Lover by BIBI

Warning: hush hush ;-), your dad is THAT type of dad who is also oblivious, joon is a true one🫡, jimin has silver locks in this lol, switch Jimin x switch oc (no specified power dynamic but oc def more needy), semi-public, oral (m. and f. receiving), fucking with the masks on (masks fucking hehehe), praises, multiple orgasms, protected sex, these little shits are lovey dovey, surprise ending :D

Word Count: 6.9k

A/N: FINALLY A SHORTER ONE SHOT!!! Just had this idea a while back because I was obsessed with this song. The story is literally smut so…Hope you enjoy! There’s a lot I have planned

Also posted on AO3!!

Stolen glances were made from across the banquet hall. Those cocoa shimmering slit eyes hidden behind that ivory animal mask with antlers tried focusing on the conversation before him, but he was too distracted by your keen ones. Your eye contact kept its stance while “listening” to your friend in front of you talking in theories once again. Couldn’t blame yourself, you loved your friend but they somehow confused you at times when they opened their mouth.

“Do you have an eye problem with someone?” A voice finally shattered your distant attention for you to finally look at your friend.

You looked up at your friend’s tall stature before saying, “Nope, your thoughts just bore me right now.” You sipped on your champagne glass, in an attempt to calm yourself down after getting caught at the delicious man on the other side of the room.

Namjoon rolled his eyes before shaking his head, “You know if you keep doing that, you’re gonna get caught.”

“Please, I’m not.” You disagreed. “Look around, everyone’s distracted with these dang masks.” You said as you pointed at the golden and plum colored designed mask on you.

Well, you weren’t wrong. Attending a masquerade ball meant no one knew who was who until you actually introduced yourself, which most of the time, you didn’t as you hid away from annoying pretentious individuals and media. In a way, this themed event was the perfect time for you to let a little loose…if you know what I mean.

Though half of his face was covered by a red and white mask with gold accents, you saw him raising an eyebrow at you. “Feeling rather bold tonight, aren’t we?” The blush crept up on your disguised face, eyes shying away from your good friend to see the scenery you were in.  Nevertheless, you knew he was right.

Your view shifted back at those familiar eyes from across the setting, only this time, he was too distracted and invested with the esteemed guests in conversation, and most importantly, your father on this side.

He was with your dad, his respective boss, the CEO of Jeon Corporation and you were the daughter of the acclaimed Jeon Jungwoo. A mysterious socialite in the public eye because you didn’t share much about yourself and kept your personal life low. None of your friends weren’t in the spotlight, apart from Namjoon, whose parents are owners of the well-known chain restaurant, KimBamBap. 

You internally sighed, wishing that you were in your father’s position instead, except you would be more cuddled into his side and pecking his cheek from time to time.

You guessed that was what happens when you were in a secretive relationship and deeply in love with your father’s assistant, Park Jimin.

When you first met Jimin, it was a very embarrassing moment…for you at least. Your father has been setting you up with potentials for the past year, in hopes you can start dating and get married before you turned thirty which was bullshit but whatever, you know? Almost all were a bust. Some were pretentious, others’ personalities were one-dimensional, and the rest…were just not right. One date got so bad, you left in the middle of it. You didn’t even remember their name afterward. Running away from the paparazzi and any people, you kinda drank your sadness, thinking how alone you were, near the pier on a normal Wednesday night.

All of a sudden, came along a stranger with a cute miniature dog, concerned with the sounds of crying while on a stroll. Lo and behold, it was Jimin. But because you were drunk, you were very flirty and more outspoken than usual. An alter ego, if you must. Not to mention, how you straight up grabbed his canine from the ground and cuddled with the pet on a bench.

Though suspicious of your actions, he was in a blushing frenzy and thought you were very attractive. He realized your drinking through the green bottles on the side of you, so you were probably gonna be embarrassed by your behavior afterward. With your subconscious in front and noticing how handsome Jimin was, you unapologetically kissed him—even tried to get some tongue in—but he pushed you away in your intoxicated respect. Ashamed, you fled the scene and took a cab home. You eventually forgot his name but not his face, even under the fluorescent moonlight. It was a moment of weakness but you moved forward from there.

Or so you thought because a couple of weeks later, your father invited you to a company dinner and introduced you to Jimin, his new assistant. You felt so regretful and wanted to die in a hole. Yet Jimin didn’t seem to tease you much on it but rather wanted to start all over and introduce one another properly this time. And being one of the few younger ones at this event, there was no doubt a connection sparked.

Eventually, your conversations turned into much flirting and innuendos to the point, you both kinda cracked during the Christmas party that following year…in some random room…probably the cleaning closet. You don’t know really, but all you knew was how functional Jimin was beyond being your dad’s assistant.

Though you’d expect a "friends with benefits" type of deal, a loving blossoming relationship bloomed out of it. In between those intimate times, Jimin took you out on dates, showered you with gifts despite telling him no, comforted you in times of need, and treated you like an absolute queen of his life.

However, it was hidden away from the public, the company, your parents, particularly your father. Jeon Jungwoo was a good man, treated you the best way possible as a father to a daughter, and wanted to give you the whole universe.

But with a great father, also came a strict protective one. He explicitly told any man who comes across you that if they hurt you, he’ll ruin their life. You may think he was exaggerating but those terrible dates you went to were never heard from again…

Don’t worry he didn’t kill them. But the men would get bug-eyed and evacuated the premises when they saw you. Your father was a scary man to almost everyone, including his assistant. 

Because what happens if the CEO found out that his assistant was fucking his daughter, the apple of his eye? There weren’t any good signs anywhere. 

Everything that was done with Jimin was done in privacy and kept secret. The only person who knew about your relationship was Namjoon, and it was only because he caught the both of you making out in another closet. Nonetheless, your tall friend stayed loyal and kept his fucking mouth shut from spoiling anything. It has been a little over a year, so it was safe to say the relationship was still preserved.

Hiding your relationship had its ups and downs and both of you questioned if it was even worth it to stay. It didn’t help the fact of how on-demand his job was despite being under your dad. But Jungwoo was a very busy man with an insane schedule, which meant Jimin had to exceed his expectations. Tears were shed, and unthinkable and hurtful words were said, but ended up with apologies and reconciliation, always fighting harder for one another. 

No doubt that you love Jimin, but Jimin, he was head over heels for you. When you finally revealed your confession to him, he felt the weight lifted off his shoulders. You pulled him out of the friend zone as he assumed you saw him as nothing more than the flirty young assistant of your father. You fell first—as you had a crush on him since the first meet—but Jimin fell harder that he never wanted to let go.

It pained him how much he had to distance himself from you. He wanted to show you off to every place, everyone, every living thing, and shout that he was yours. He wanted to touch you, kiss you, anything that was appropriate to the public eye. It was difficult keeping everything concealed, almost getting caught, and feeding lies to your loved ones. It ached you to hide it from your parents. Your relationship with them was pretty open to an extent, and they were all innocent in all of this, more so your dad.

He never hated Jimin, in fact, he absolutely loves Jimin. He would rave about how Jimin was the best assistant he has ever had, gloating to others like he was his son. Why else your father had a habit of giving Jimin more stocks and promotions every year?

However, though he loves you and he loves him, that doesn’t mean he’d loved the two of you together. Your father knew the boundaries between work and personal, never wanting to clash the two.

That was what you also wanted because if anything happened—hope never does—you didn’t want it affecting your father’s company or Jimin’s career. You didn’t want to risk anything.

So here you were—practically eye fucking him from afar.

“Do you want me to, like, cover you or something?” Namjoon suggested, staring at you with a revolting yet concerning expression. Your friend knew how you felt, empathizing with the whole situation. As a very Namjoon way of comforting, he’d always reassured you that though how you felt was valid, he believed that you should rip the band-aid and tell your parents. But he knew you weren’t ready, maybe you’ll be ready to tell your parents when you were about to get married.

So as an alternate way of soothing you, he helped you sneak around to get some dick.

“Mmm, maybe so.” You pondered at the moment because it was tempting. “I do want you to distract daddy away from Jimin.”

“I hate that you still call him that.” Namjoon judged, side-eyeing you. 

“Why? He’s my daddy.” You defended yourself. You didn’t think any wrong with it. People just interpreted it wrongly and sometimes not right in their heads. “But please, distract him. He’s coming this way with Jimin!”

Namjoon couldn’t open his mouth to respond in time as your dad and Jimin came your way. Your father, the host, and creator of this masquerade, masked with a pure ebony mask that resembled what was used in the Phantom of the Opera. He wore a sleek and crisp dark grey suit with black loafers, as well as styling his salt and pepper hair back.

But your boyfriend, on the other hand, Jesus Christ…he decided on an all-black look that when in contrast with his white face coverup. His blazer had been designed with onyx jewels and sequins on the top of his shoulders. He wore silver hoops and accessorized his hands with his signature bracelets and rings. The way he styled his short silver hair—pushed back as well but his undercut peaked through to perfectly highlight the volume on top. Yet there was always that one strand that seamlessly fell on his forehead.

Just looking at him made you want to crash into him.

But you had to keep your cool, for the sake of everything on the line. You praised your dad for the masquerade idea because he was too focused on actually seeing the person he talked to, ignoring the longing stares his assistant gave you.

“My dear apple!” Your father greeted you like he never saw you two hours ago when you arrived with Namjoon and your other friends. He embraced you, then shook your form with much passion. “You’re so beautiful, my daughter, my heir. The heavens blessed me with the life of you. I want to say I love you, so proud of all that you’ve don—”

“Okay, daddy. That’s enough. I don’t want to hear your whole speech again today.” You interrupted him, getting slightly embarrassed by his compliments.

“It’s never enough to show my daughter love.” Jungwoo pushed before kissing your temple. “Have you’ve been having fun?”

“As much fun as I can with your business parties.” You sounded unamused. It wasn’t something you loathed. You got free food and drinks out of it, but again, it wasn’t your type of vibe. “But masquerade is a new switch up. I can’t tell who’s who.”

Your father laughed heartedly. “That’s the point, there’s no telling what people will do.”

“Exactly…” You glanced at Jimin who grinned and stayed quietly behind your father, then switched to Namjoon to telepathically cue your favor now.

Namjoon got the message and cleared his throat. “Uncle Jeon, can you come with me for a minute? There are some sponsors I’d like to introduce you to. My father isn’t here due to illness, so I want you to be with me since you help endorse our business.” Nice act, Namjoon.

“Of course, Joon!” Your father looked up at your friend and patted his back proudly, then stretched over to the younger man’s opposite shoulder to reel him closer. “Lead the way!” But before the two left, he turned back to his assistant. “Sorry, Jimin, my boy, please excuse me. Actually, have some fun. You’ve been clinging onto my side the entire time. I don’t need a bodyguard.”

Jimin nodded and bowed to his employer, “Will do, sir. Thank you.”

“___, my apple. If you can, please accompany Jimin to your friends since you’re all similar in age. Have fun!!” Your father proposed, then left with your tall friend. Namjoon rotated his head quickly back, winking before talking to your dad.

Now it was finally the two of you.

Goodness, since the moment you arrived, Jimin tried his absolute best, ignoring you to do his job dutifully. But how can he when you came in, appearing like a three-star Michelin meal? 

Your plum halter-topped satin dress cinched your waist and fell seamlessly around your curves. The clothing was backless, exposing your glowing skin but cutting off right above the small of your back. However, your hair was pressed and straightened down, covering most of your back. Your heels and jewelry were gold so that they could match the accents of your mask. 

Though you were the daughter of a high-status CEO, no one could recognize you, especially at this very moment. Lucky you…because you felt extra attached tonight.

“Hello, Ms. Jeon. Looking very beautiful tonight.” Jimin greeted “professionally,” having his hands behind him to control himself from touching you in front of all these people and your dad.

“Hi, Mr. Park. You’re not so bad yourself.” You winked before chugging down what was left in your flute. Some of it dribbled in the corners of your mouth but you wiped it away with your thumb, suckling onto it to take the tiny bits of alcohol as you gazed directly at the man before you. You popped your thumb off of your painted lips, then smiled gracefully. 

Jimin thinned his plush lips, eyes scanning around the vicinity to make sure the coast was clear before stepping closer towards you. He was in elbows reach, but you both kept your hands to yourselves. “Doll.” His voice had a pinch of warning, but it didn’t stop you.

“Mr. Park, I would like to tell you a little secret.” You placed the flute on the high-top tables. You weren’t drunk, you weren’t buzzed from a glass or two of champagne. But alcohol in your system always made you bold. 

He raised an eyebrow at you, questioning what you were up to. You leaned into him. Even in high heels, you needed to raise your head higher so that your lips hovered around his ear. You held onto his shoulder for support before saying, “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

He inhaled sharply, eyes widening and jaw clenching in the process. He had to maintain his cool, but his girlfriend never made it easy for him. Light touches, swirling your tongue on desserts and meaningless moans, eye-fucking looks, lingerie that you wore underneath your elegant attire that only he knew because you’d sent him a photo prior, and what he hated the most was when you teased with your words. You never told lies, you said them honestly and seductively. That’s exactly why he felt himself hardening behind his suit.

His hands went into his pockets casually, adjusting himself to not make anything too noticeable. He smiled sweetly at the crowds of the guest before landing back onto you. “Ms. Jeon, you better behave, or a punishment might come your way.”

Though you knew he wanted you to stop, you also knew he loved playing along with you as it led to very euphoric encounters. You moved away from him and shrugged. “Maybe I want a punishment. I mean…” You feigned a sigh, resting on the table. You looked down at your pointer finger circling with the rim of the glass. Then your eyes met with your boyfriend, “I’m on my worst behavior tonight.”

“Is that so, Ms. Jeon?” He breathed out, sensing the thickness of tension between them. You nodded as if you were innocent, pushing your lower lip out to get your word out straight. “Hmmm, perhaps you need some assistance with managing your behavior?”

“Thank you for your offer, Mr. Park, but I already have someone to help me on that.”

Cocking a brow at you, he stared profoundly. “May I ask who?”

“My loving, charming, flirtatious, sexy, and warm boyfriend who has my heart.” You replied, holding a palm over your décolletage. Your words softened his heart but only made his clothed cock harder. “If you excuse me, Mr. Park, I’ll see my boyfriend now.”

“Certainly, Ms. Jeon.” He nodded.

You got off of the table, standing straight as you flattened your dress, brushing off any wrinkles. You went closer to him, shining irises meeting his with adoration. “Chim, can we go somewhere with more…private?” Your light asking corrupted his professional mind. He immediately had no thoughts of the job he was supposed to be working on tonight. He could only think of you and having his hands all over your skin, giving your love language the respect it deserved. 

Your dad did say to have fun, so that was what Jimin was going to do.

“Anything your heart desires, doll.”

-

Either of you wasn’t a novice towards sex, but Jimin didn’t realize how frisky you were. He wasn’t intimidated or anything, but it was certainly a surprise. You were a tease who always wanted more than handled. But you knew what you wanted, what you liked, and what you expected.

Of course, in the beginning, Jimin knew nothing about it but you gradually taught him. He learned your dialect and spoke to the beauty of your body—stretch marks, moles, dips, and cellulite on every part of you. He remembered the routes and directions he needed but knew that wasn’t the only key.

Hand in hand, the two of you cautiously ran away from the grand hall. Nearing the exit, you turned back to where Namjoon and your father were, meeting contact with your friend. He signaled a thumbs up, then going back to the eccentric story your father was telling him.

It was basic protocol for you or Jimin to book a room within hotel venues during parties, but this place unfortunately wasn’t. As your father’s masquerade was the biggest event in the hall, most of the workers and guests were inside. The tinier and much more hidden halls were at the ends or deep corners of the site. It was perfect for you.

After much walking and deciding, Jimin chose one of the smallest areas in the end corner on the right. He recalled when he and your father were picking out venues, the manager explained how these halls weren’t used as often due to the lack of space. Sure, not a good location for a luxurious party, but a fantastic place to make love with the doll of his life…under some circumstances.

Once you reached the setting, though it lacked size, it was grand nevertheless. A single chandelier in the middle of the room lit beautifully, light bouncing off the burgundy carpeted floor. There wasn’t much except for two wooden circular tables and wall dividers, but you took it as an opportunity. 

Pulling your boyfriend to the dividers, you were met with another table but it was covered with a white linen cloth and surprise, surprise, stacks of folded linens. Not as comfy but it shouldn’t be a problem.

Jimin wrapped his arms around your waist from behind before peppering kisses on your naked shoulder. “Doll, are you alright with this? It’s not the most ideal.” He began traveling up your trapezius. 

“I don’t care as long as I have you.” You breathed out as you stretched your neck to give him more access. You then felt his tongue lick a strip over the span before biting delicately on your neck. He had the urge to mark you as his but knew people would give questionable looks. “Chim.” Your voice was shaky, the tone telling how much you needed him.

“Easy, Doll.” He took you towards the table. He turned you around to face him before putting you down to sit on the surface. He bent forward to weave his lips with yours, going as unhurriedly yet sensual as possible. “Though we’re here, lemme take my time with you.”

A second later, his mouth consumed yours. His tongue pushed through your lips to get a taste of you in him, feeling your teeth and the roof of your mouth. Smacking echoed throughout the room. He firmed his grip on your waist as you spread your legs open. Fuck, he didn’t realize how much he missed you after being apart for the work week, preparing for this masquerade ball.

His hard-on found your dampening heat, rocking into you. It was the right decision not to put underwear on. You moaned into his mouth before parting away. Reddened lips, flushed faces, eyes filled with lust and devour. Your masks were still on but none of you bothered to care. You respired as you looked at him, “Chim, wait before you take your time, can I...taste you, baby?”

Fucking music to his ears. He grunted at your ask and nodded like an excited boy getting a PS5. “Fuck, yes, honey.”

Instantly, you hopped off the table and got down on your knees in front of him, your eyes level with his crotch. What laid behind those tight dress pants and briefs was what you’ve been dying to have after going abstinent for a couple of days because of how busy Jimin was. You decided on not pleasuring yourself, knowing that this very moment was worth waiting for.

With shaking hands, you lifted them to unbuckle his belt and fumbled with pulling it out of the loop. Once you slid the leather off, you pulled his tucked-in collared shirt out. It was now for his pants. But he saw you struggling with the button, tugging on it as you progressively became impatient.

“___, easy girl.” Jimin puts a hand on your fingers, making you stare up. “Are you okay, why are you like this right now?” Though you were a needy little doll, you loved the slow way, little touches, little kisses, oh, and surely the foreplay.

You were practically panting, breaths cutting short and quick. Still having a hold on his pants, you whispered, “S-sorry. Please, I’ve been waiting for it all week.”

Jimin almost finished right then and there.

Now it was his turn to be impatient. He assisted you with his pants and aggressively pushed them down enough to see the shape of his cock. It was a mouth-watering sight to see it pressing into his underwear.

You cupped him with your palm massaging it steadily as you watched his face contort at minimal relief. You felt him grow bigger under your touch, biting your lip. You had enough so you took him out of his briefs, revealing his curved thickening dick.

You saw the pearl of pre-cum leaking out and you went for it. You latched onto the head. Tongue swirled and swiped against the slit, sucking his tip like a ring pop. You pushed yourself down, trying to take as much of him in, though, at times, it was nearly impossible. You bobbed your head, gradually finding a rhythm you liked.

Meanwhile, Jimin had his head back and moaned at the feel of your mouth. His hand found home in your hair, threading through your tendrils. His knees trembled and fortunately, he stayed put as you took him all in. The tip of your nose dug into his pubic hair, causing him to groan loudly. “Fuck, doll, you’re doing such a good job. Fuck.”

God, you loved his praises. It only egged you on. You swirled your tongue, slithering it over a vein, making him hiss. You pulled back, mouth only on his reddened brownish-pink tip. You used your hand to wrap around his shaft before squeezing from the top to his base. The concoction of your spit and his pre-cum acted like lube. Your mouth bounced on him, the squishing sounds shooting toward your eardrums.

You slobbered everywhere, but the messier it was, the better for your Jimin. Your throat began stinging from the coercion. You tried your best not to gag, thinking you’ve experienced enough of him not to. But your reflex failed you, retching around his thickness. As your eyes strained red, teardrops built up around them.

Your pupils directed upwards to meet your flushed-cheeked boyfriend, who seemed concerned for you. Tugging on your hair, he took you off gently. His sodden cock slapped his loosened shirt while you controlled your breathing. Your chest rose up and down. Saliva stayed on the corners of your lips as you swiped your tongue through. 

He took your arm and helped you back on your feet. He meshed your lips, mumbling into them. “You’re so good to me, doll. Now it’s my turn to show my love.” He hoisted you back onto the table. Bundling the skirt of your dress to your waist, he moaned at the sight of your bare pussy exposed. “You really don’t have panties on, huh?”

You blushed before spreading your legs, opening your sex for him to see and appreciate. “I wouldn’t lie, Chim.”

“I know, fuck. Gotta love all what you’re doing for me.” With his two thumbs, he stretched apart your petals. Your tiny clit pulsated on his watch as you leaked your essence down. Jimin took a deep inhale at your scent, making you flustered.

“Jimin, don’t do that!” You whined, consciously closing your legs but he took initiative to never let you do that with him.

He slapped your cunt swiftly, keeping you from squirming again. “Doll, behave.” Though pouting, you surrendered and let him open you back up. As he gazed at your heat, he blew softly. You mewled at the cooling feeling, your fingers finding their way to his locks. “So pretty and perfect for me.”

“Jimin.” You sounded more desperate, which was a good sign. “Touch me.”

“Touch you? Touch you where?” As much as you loved to tease, you hated receiving it back. You didn’t want any more games, you wanted it now.

“Touch me! Eat my pussy, finger me, fuck me into oblivion. I don’t care! I ju—Ahhh, Jimin!” You threw your head back and laid your form on the table, resting on the folded sheets.

You couldn’t finish your sentence. His pinky tongue flattened on your clit, making circles around to make you go dizzy. The muscle shifted down, breaching through your throbbing hole. He lapped your wetness while his thumb found your sensitive bud and played figure eights on it, making lay helplessly and whimper. With his unoccupied hand, he circled your thigh to bring you closer. Fuck, he really knew how to get your body riled up.

He was blessed to be unlocking your entire self. You unraveled in his presence. He, for sure, was gonna get it right tonight. Kneading your thigh, he switched his ministrations so now his lips wrapped around your clit while his fingers played around the rim of your petals.

You were a mewling mess, grinding your pelvis into his face. Once his two appendages slid into your center, a long high-pitched noise came out of you. He turned and rotated his wrist before pumping in and out. Your face scrunched, taking the sensation of your boyfriend all over your pussy. Jimin slurped your sweet juices as your stuffed hole gushed continuously.

He curled his fingers, finding the squishy g-spot that made you mimic a police siren, goosebumps ran all over your body. The pressure in your stomach tightened, clenching your abs to quicken the speed.

Jimin separated from you, “Doll, I can feel your walls clenching. Are you close?” You merely nodded, whining for him to keep going. He wasted no time swirling his muscle around your swollen nub and quickened his pace with urgency. 

Thighs quivered tremendously as the gush of ecstasy crashed into you, your back arched high off the table. Your fingers gripped around his gelled hair, messing up an hour of work yet he paid no attention to it. Your cunt closed in around your boyfriend’s short but thick fingers. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head while your mouth spewed a series of whimpers and chants of his name.

Jimin gulped your creaminess, easing you down your high. He wanted to make sure you had a well-received orgasm through and through, as always. He was undoubtedly a giver, paying attention to your needs. He believed that it wouldn’t be worth it on either end if he wasn’t doing it right. He gently guided you down onto the table while planting pecks (and maybe a few marks here and there) on your inner thighs.

You tried controlling your breathing, blinking away from the blurry vision to get a glimpse of your gorgeous boyfriend. His one-of-a-kind face shined with your saccharine, licking around the rims of his lips to make sure none of it went to waste. He looked absolutely delectable while you were pretty much out of it.

Face flushed with a hue of pink, cherry lips from all the biting, eyes drooping with lust, hair slightly damped and matted, and a craving for more. When you rushed to sit up, Jimin was a bit worried as you were still in a hazy trance, all it took was you undo the clip in the back of your neck to make him more at ease. The top half fell, freeing you from the constraint of any clothing around your chest. All of your satin dress was held at your waist. Your breasts perked up and nubs hardened from the chill air and need of your boyfriend.

“Chim! Wan’ you please.” You slurred as you widened your legs to present your bearings to Jimin. You made grabby hands for him to come closer to you.

Jimin needed you as much as you needed him. He made way to be within your reach. Immediately hooking your arms around his nape, you hauled him over to attack kisses on the curve of his shoulder. Meanwhile, his hands acted like magnets and gravitated toward your boobs. Cupping them in his palms, he fondled one as he played with the other side’s nipple between his index and thumb.

You muffled moans into his skin, the sensation increased your sensitivity yet it still wasn’t enough.

“Please, please, baby.” You begged, growing impatient by the second. You wiggled your lower body, hoping to find his cock meet your puffy folds. 

His heated shaft was rock solid, the tip aching red, oozing out driblets of pre-cum. You couldn’t wait for him to be inside of you, but first, safety…but more so, made clean up easier.

Jimin pulled a condom out of his back pocket. He already knew sex with you was bound to happen in the most unconventional way. Better to be ready than sorry. Though you were in a committed long-term relationship, you weren’t on birth control for personal reasons.

He opened the foil wrapper, flicking it to the side of him before effortlessly putting it on. He stroked himself for relief and double-checked if it was on properly. When done, he aligned himself to your center. He glanced at you for your consent and once you nodded, he slowly plunged in.

Finally, all in, you felt so fucking full. His tip poked the top of your cervix, whining at the slight yet overpowering touch. You gazed up at your boyfriend, feeling the love overflowed from him. God, you love him so much. Sex was much deeper when you were him than anyone else before. 

“I love you, Jimin.” You pouted before cutely kissing his lips.

Jimin chuckled darkly yet raging with adoration for you. There were so many things he wanted to do with you and to you, but right now, he wanted to take it easy and slow despite how much you’ve been itching to be railed by him. “I love you too, my doll.” He kissed you back, gently but with more tongue.

When you squeezed his shoulder, he knew you were adjusted and comfortable. He rested his hands on your waist, securing your body where he wanted you to be. He pulled himself out, leaving the head in you before slamming right back in. You gasped, digging your head into the covered wooden surface.

He said easy and slow, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t go hard as well. His thrusts were too steady for your liking but each penetration pierced you stronger than the last, even the table legs squeaked against the carpet. The linen sheets dared to even fall off the surface, sounding plops to the ground. The sounds of your screeching and moaning pleasured his eardrums as he grunted praises at you.

“Fuck, best pussy ever. Best woman ever.” He exhaled, biting his lower lip to keep himself from releasing too quickly. “Never leaving you, want you by my side forever.”

“So good! All yours. ‘M all yours!” You voiced out before your mind clouded with fluffs of his pounding dick. At that moment, he hit that special spot in your pussy, making your whines louder, echoing off the walls. It was a good thing that you were far from the crowd or else your father’s guests would know his level-headed and quiet daughter was a screamer with his assistant.

Jimin’s thumb found its way to your swollen clit, causing you to evaporate into his glory. You went into tunnel vision, your melted mind only thought of your true love grunting and kneading marks on your body as a sign of the impact he had in your life.

Maybe it was the alcohol, and that you get quite stimulated with emotions, or maybe it was the anniversary of the day you met him next week. Either way, you couldn’t ask for anyone else and were internally grateful for meeting him. Despite the hiding, the fights, and the crying, your love for each other was above all and worth taking a chance, never wanting to give up.

Jimin’s pace slowed down and became irregular, sensing that he was close. “Doll, cum together?” You didn’t even need to answer because you were right behind him. You screamed his name as you held him close to your trembling form. You pressed your bare chest with his clothed one, your nipples brushing against the fabric of his shirt.

When his lips found yours, he pumped once more before sinking himself in you while you went into your second high of the night. Your eyelids squeezed shut as you shrieked cries for Jimin. Your creaming cunt convulsed around his milking dick. He whined breathlessly into your neck, calling for you as he poured his cum into the latex, filling it more than usual.

He did mini thrusts, trying to squirt the droplets of white until he was fully done. You dropped back onto the table, trying to catch your breath. The life was sucked out of you, but you’d do it again if you had the energy and comfortable setting.

You felt him softening, yet he kept himself in. It was his way of wanting to be connected with you all the time. You loved it so much. But assuming the situation, he pulled himself out but not with you mewling at your sensitivity. He mumbled apologies while peppering your temple.

Though you didn’t want to let go of him, he parted away to take the condom off. You laid there flat, not bothering to move. When he removed the latex and tied it up, he examined how filled it was. “Heavy load.” He giggled, causing you to shake your head but chuckle with him. “Well, it has been a while. I’m sorry for being busy, doll.”

“It was indeed a long week, but it’s okay. I know you were planning the party.” You shrugged it off. Jimin extended a hand that you gladly clasped to help you sit up. If the both of you weren’t looking like you just had passionate sex and different shades of red, you positively were now.

After putting the filled condom in his pocket because he’ll dispose of it in the nearest bathroom and didn’t want to leave the evidence in this empty hall, he went up to hug you. “I hope you don’t think any less of me and how much I care for you.”

“Jimin, no, don’t say that.” You disagreed heavily on that, pushing him off so you could look him in the eyes. “I would never think any less of you. You mean so more than you could ever imagine.” You caressed his cheek as you gazed into his sparkling brown irises. “I know we’ve had rough patches in our relationship but look where we are!”

“Post-sex at a party currently hosted by your dad?”

“You’re not wrong,” You rolled your eyes, smiling before pecking his lips. “But what I was trying to point out is that we’re still together.” 

“I’m sorry, I just—I want to make sure that you know…I still love you.”

I still love you with all my heart too, and don’t forget that.” You cooed, scrunching your nose at him. His eyes disappeared, but a smile formed on his face, giddy at your reassured confession.

He leaned in before weaving with your lips once more. The two of you were enthralled by the everlasting love you expressed. It was truly a robust and enduring one, even if it was behind closed doors. It took patience and kindness to get to this point. Your love for him always came out stronger, you would stay with him forever as he held it dear to his heart.

And for that, you taught him how to be the best lover that he can be for you.

The best lover for you.

Bonus:

The thrilling party was coming down to an end as guests were leaving and servants and other workers started cleaning up. Yet Jungwoo watched over with a bright smile and extroverted energy for days with Namjoon by his side.

By the way, Namjoon never left him alone.

The younger man distracted the CEO in hopes that he wouldn’t question where his assistant and daughter went. So Namjoon, being the best friend he was, jumped from group to group randomly with the older man and introduced potential collaborations and basically made more money and network. Blah, blah, blah.

Though Namjoon was an extrovert, he was exhausted from all that work. You owed him big time. He stood silently and a bit sluggish while your father said goodbyes to the attendees.

After thanking a pair and seeing them off, Jungwoo sighed and looked over at the taller young man. “Tired, son?”

“Yes, sir.” Namjoon mumbled, nodding. “Met a lot of people, some of them caught me by surprise.”

“Well, KimBamBap is a highly-acclaimed business.” Your father reasoned. “Though you didn’t need to tell that to an oil company, or trading company, or the secretary of the ambassador of Mongolia.”

“Good network…”

“Yes that, or you’re helping to hide my daughter’s relationship with my assistant.”

Namjoon swore he never had a bigger whiplash than he did right now. His pupils dilated at your nonchalant father grinning at another round of invitees departing. He said it in a way of all-knowing.

“Uhh, s-sir. I don’t th—”

“Namjoon, don’t gaslight me. I’ve been knew!” Your father laughed. “Jimin is not that slick. Boy forgot that his laptop’s background is literally of them two. Not to mention his laptop connects to his phone which also connects with his messages.”

“But—”

“I think I have a hunch of who Doll of My Life ___ is too.”

Namjoon gave up. Well, so much for covering for you all this time. It was thrown into the trash. Though he expected the older to be upset or disappointed, maybe at least for the entire secrecy, the CEO was rather lax.

Namjoon cleared his throat, “So you know…and you’re not mad?”

“Nonsense, I love Jimin. He has a good head on his shoulders, kind, gentle, and I do believe he’s the perfect man for my ___.” Jungwoo snorted, rolling his eyes as he listed down loves for his assistant.

Yet Namjoon was still incredulous. “Sir, then why haven’t you said anything?” It would have saved so much trouble and finally put your relationship out there for your families to see. Then your father eyed the younger tightly with a lifted brow. 

“Just waiting until those idiots to tell me.”

A/N: After writing this I realized, I’m rusty on PWPs! Because I don’t write smut as often and I LIVE FOR PLOTS

All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae 2022 (｡●́‿●̀｡)

Glimpse of Us | KTH (Series)

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS's V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: TRIGGERS - Mentions of Drugs/Drugs use, alcohol consumption, violence (fighting), toxic relationships, unhealthy coping mechanisms, infidelity, unrequited love?, mentions of depression and anxiety, brief mentions of social anxiety (oc somewhat has it), descriptions of panic attacks, mentions of death/minor character deaths, descriptions of therapy/scenes within therapy sessions, a ton of flashbacks, financial instability, buckets of crying, the slowest fucking burn you'll ever come across, sexual content (but not too sexy bc this isn’t a naughty fic >:-|) poor OC is caught up in a lot of mess and all she wants is to have a better life,  tae is a bit of a dick and a walking red flag but he just wants to be better :--(, they're both sad in their own ways, each chapter will have their own warnings and they will be presented at the beginning of the chapter

Word Count: TBD (21 chapter total)

Update Schedule: There is none! Posts are sporadic, but I do try to post at least twice a month…however, if I’m busy, I will keep you posted on a possible time frame.

A/N: A little bit inspired by Glimpse of Us by Joji because I couldn't get the song out of my damn head and it’s my top song of 2022 😭. I made my own spin to it, let’s see how well I execute it lol I’ve been preparing this for a while. This is my biggest project yet! I’ve been planning this since the summer even if I’m not done writing the whole thing I’m kinda nervous about posting this

I’ll also cross-posted this originally on AO3 as well! Enjoy~~~

Chapter List

I. Finding Happiness

II. The Story of You and Me

III. Blue

IV. Everything We Didn't Say

V. Same Old, Different New

VI. Why I Love You

VII. The True Reality

VIII. Please Don’t Break It

IX. Hear Me Out

X. You’re All I Need (Coming Soon)

All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae 2023 (｡●́‿●̀｡)

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter I: Finding Happiness

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: Angst (from the start mwahahaha), mentions of alcohol consumption, violence, stalking, faulty media, descriptions of therapy sessions

Word Count: 7.2k

Chapter I: Finding Happiness || Series Masterlist

“BTS is the highly musically acclaimed boy band from South Korea, sweeping the charts across the globe with their wide diversity genres of music. Their lyrics consisted of personal and social commentary that moves those who listen, especially with their fanbase, ARMY. Each member of BTS have their own individual style to their work, yet still continue to play an important role to the group’s success.”

“BTS’s V shook the world, being recognized for his alluring baritone voice and exquisite “duality” and emotions on stage, as well as being coined “The Idol’s Idol” within the Kpop industry. His facial expressions, his motions, his voice, it shows it all.”

“V ranked first on the charts of being the number one most searched keyword for the past five years in South Korea.”

“V was always the first to attract those who don’t know BTS by his unique visuals, strong aura, and his intimidating gaze.”

“V is also part of Wooga Squad, a highly achieving group of men consisted of actors Park Seojoon, Choi Wooshik, Park Hyungsik, and artist Peakboy (Kwon Sunghwan). Their friendship is widely known on their platforms while supporting one another.”

“V caught the attention of many famous fashion brands, as everything he wears turns into gold, including Celine, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and Prada.”

“V was ranked number one as the world’s most handsome and beautiful man in the world.”

“Among the members, V has the most followers on Instagram as well as the fastest growing account on the platform.”

“V is well-loved by ARMY and is supported of his endeavors. They hope to see a solo album in the near future.”

“BTS’s V gets followed by sasaeng at the park.”

“BTS’s V attacked by an influx crowd at the airport. Videos of him holding onto j-hope.”

“Kim Taehyung was seen hanging out with Park Seojoon and mystery girl?? Potential new lover?”

“Kim Taehyung (V of BTS) caught smoking before award show! Is he becoming an addict?”

“BTS V gets embroiled in attitude controversy for not greeting fans and journalists.”

“V of BTS: dating rumors with Tzuyu of Twice? JYP denies but HYBE ignores.”

“Taehyung was secretly recorded at night on the streets, drinking more than he can handle.”

“Kim Taehyung fighting in a club?? Reports of getting drunk and the idol throwing punches.”

“Are BTS’s V and Lisa from Blackpink dating??”

The cycle repeated itself as the ever-growing success of BTS continues, with Kim Taehyung being one of the members. Success, scandal, success, scandal. At this point, it was practically the same thing. Though with the achievements, popularity, and passionate fanbase, it, unfortunately, came with a price, specifically with Taehyung.

His life turned into something he didn’t expect, whether good or bad, but it could be safe to say it has been leaning towards bad. During his years as an idol, as V, his life was heavily scrutinized by the media and the fans. Through the hate comments online, unwanted paparazzi photos, and delusional headlines on topics that he didn’t even know about, it was never-ending that sadly took a toll on him.

Taehyung faced straight forward, not wanting to make eye contact with the man across from him, leaning slightly to the left. Blankness overcame his expression with the deep-set dark circles and hollowness of his cheeks. His lips peeled and swollen from the many occurrences of biting the skin off. His hair was messily styled into his “fluffy Tae bear” image as what ARMY loved to say, but he couldn’t care less about his appearance.

The ticking sound of the clock echoed within the tiny room as Taehyung hoped time only went faster. Despite the tight space, the environment was relatively comfortable. The warm fluorescent lights hanging above the two, a brown velvet couch occupied by yours truly, and a rust-toned loveseat also occupied by the professional. The walnut surface of the desk stacked with files and books by a wall and extended shelves on the opposite was in his peripheral vision.

Taehyung could sense the attentive stare the man was giving him, which had no effect on the idol. It wasn’t harsh gazing, almost curious and kind, but Taehyung wasn’t really ready to give his all. He was trying his best but didn’t know what to do. The idol almost felt bad for him, having been assigned to the professional for nearly a year with little to no progress. But the man had some steel grit and was determined for Taehyung to speak about something.

A particular question made Taehyung fidget in his seat and bounce his leg. It wasn’t too personal because everyone knew, but it still gave him chills thinking about it.

Recently, at BTS’s Festa Dinner Party, the boys announced a temporary pause on group activities except for their variety show, Run BTS, to focus on their solo projects and other activities they wished to pursue without the constant clash in the group’s schedule. Each member was currently doing their own thing, whether promotions or taking a short break. In Taehyung’s instance, the company and his fellow members thought it was a fantastic idea for Taehyung to continue focusing on himself.

Through the years and over time, Taehyung has been dealing with the pressure of the idol life and fearing that his privacy would be taken away at any minute. The heavy load caused a strain on him, a concoction of emotions, as well as changes in behavior. He got sad, he got angry, and he drank. He rarely remembered anything the morning after. He got nervous, he got stressed, and he smoked, which led to online hysteria. He got into fights with strangers, friends, and his members. Countless articles on him from a fight dated back months ago. Despite rarely interacting, he got caught up in scandals with various female idols that were obviously not true. The recent one was another Blackpink member. It has been his fourth one in the past year.

Somehow it was Taehyung getting the bitter end of the fruit, having to deal with it alone. He never comprehended how his name got caught in the tongues of the people when there were hundreds of thousands of celebrities they could choose from. Though not wanting to wish it on others, new up-and-coming idol groups were entering this industry. Idols who were quite naive don’t even know half the bullshit he and BTS faced.

Of course, there was ARMY support. But they interrupted the news differently, assuming that he’s trying to be a normal human and that he does indeed make mistakes. Others commented on Taehyung’s behavior as highly inappropriate as younger fans looked up to him. All responses are partially correct but also, in a way, incorrect in Taehyung’s eyes.

The boys’ support was incredibly different, and they understood him until a couple of years back. Now there has been a faint tension between Taehyung and some of the members after a disagreement right before the group’s announcement. Nevertheless, they were there for him, especially now.

But it was a little too much for his liking.

He has been in and out of therapy, having one session every month due to the rigorous scheduling of the group. But now, since that was on hold, it gave Taehyung the perfect time to engage with himself as frequently as possible.

Taehyung eventually gave up and told his therapist what had happened the past two weeks. The professional knew who he was and what happened with the group—having gone through a well-detailed contract of privacy—but it was appropriate for Taehyung to mention it on his own because sitting before the therapist wasn’t V of BTS but simply Kim Taehyung.

“How do you feel about all of that?” Dr. Im continued thoroughly, jotting down notes in his notebook.

Taehyung scrunched his nose, thinking what to say, “Bittersweet, I guess? You know we’ve been doing this for so long. It’s kinda like we don’t know how to act or do without the group.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, everything I’ve done for almost a decade has been in the group, for the group, with the group.” Taehyung shrugged, playing with his fingers. “Now we have this time to ourselves…almost lost I guess.”

“Can you elaborate on when you speak about “lost”?”

Being in a mood, Taehyung felt a little talkative this session. That’s what usually happened. One session, he’s a blabbermouth, the next, silent as a ghost. There was a reason why his progress was so inconsistent. “The group strived for a goal together, we worked hard and had success which made us happy, but…I don’t know. Me, I guess? I’m feeling lost where now it’s just me, and my goals, my happiness?”

“What would be your goals?”

“I don’t know. I just have my schedule.” Taehyung muttered, slowly getting disinterested in the topic. He hated that he didn’t know anything in his life. “Maybe write and do my solo album, but nothing is ever good for me. That’s why I’m probably the last member to do that.”

“I see, all that’s understandable. I can’t imagine your line of work, but I can sense that the craft takes time.” Dr. Im reassured his client with a warm smile. “You worked hard to get where you’re at. Hard work comes success and of course, at times, success can lead to happiness. Yet at the same time, there will always be struggles.” Taehyung barely responded, only with a nod of acknowledgment.

Lightly segwaying into another topic, Dr. Im wondered out loud, “You’ve mentioned your happiness. Could you describe a bit more to me?”

“There’s really nothing.” The idol bluntly replied. “I don’t feel happy. Like with the group, yeah I guess so, but just me? No.”

“So with the group, what is your happiness?”

“Maybe like, our bond?” Taehyung stated frankly. “We sacrificed things for the band and we only ever had each other. We had good times, good laughs, cries and fights. We, of course, had our fans who’ve done so much. Together, we were always so strong and understood one another, until recently…”

“What do you mean?” His therapist inquired, but Taehyung stayed silent and stoic. Though the professional attempted his best to let Taehyung open gradually, there was still a concrete wall up. That also led Taehyung into spacing out and ignoring anything Dr. Im said. But that didn’t mean he didn’t understand his non-verbal communications. He knew that Taehyung would eventually talk about it, but as of right now, it was too much for him.

So Dr. Im simply hummed and nodded before saying, “It’s okay to not say anything about that. Whenever you’re ready.”

Taehyung peered at the profession, mentally applauding how well he was with him. If Taehyung was in his shoes, he’d slap himself.

“However, I hope you don’t mind talking more so about your happiness.” When Taehyung didn’t protest and shrugged, it was a good sign to continue. “So the happiness by yourself? How is that?”

“Again, I’m not happy, or I don’t feel it at all. I never thought about it until now actually.” The idol reiterated.

“How long have you felt that way?”

Taehyung blew his cheeks out as his breath came out of his drying lips. “Probably years...maybe even the whole time since debut.”

“That’s a long time to not feel happy. How is happiness, is it important to you?” Dr. Im pointed out.

“I guess, yeah…I mean look at where I am. Fucking emotions always changing and ruining my life.”

“Emotions are never changing, you know.” His therapist explained. “But how you use it can. How were you able to cope?”

“Well, we were more restricted in the beginning since we were rookies and I used to hide it well with all the bullshit I did.” The idol responded thoroughly. “I guess over time, it got worse and I couldn’t take it anymore hence all the scandals. So yeah, I’m not happy. Life is just there. I’m just here.”

“So, when was the last time you felt happy?” His therapist questioned, sparking a new discussion up.

“Uhhh, I’m guessing before debut, the group, fans? If it’s been years.”

“So imagine the last time you felt it, and I want you to describe to me what your happiness is. What are the thoughts that came up, the emotions?” Dr. Im sought it out in hopes that it could unlock a new memory about his past.

“That sounds pretty loaded…” Taehyung tilted his head as he stared at the window.

Soft tangerine brightness leaked through the reflection. The sun settled down as he was the last client of the day, mainly due to his schedule. It was also perfect so that other clients wouldn’t be sitting and waiting and suddenly looking up to find the V of BTS coming out of his therapy session. He knew for sure that it would spread like wildfire. He wasn’t ashamed, but it was somewhat taboo, and people could warp the story to make it worse.

“Let me reword it.” Dr. Im suggested. “Before the group, before the fans, before you were V, you were simply Kim Taehyung so what was your happiness as Kim Taehyung?”

“Wow, you’re bringing me way back.” Taehyung chuckled lightly, glancing at the man nodding and waiting patiently.

The idol pondered on the question. What was his happiness as just Taehyung? Taehyung mentioned his happiness in previous sessions, but this was the first time it was discussed. Only because it has been a while since Taehyung looked at his past before BTS and as an idol. BTS and being an idol was his life. He didn’t realize that the last time he was happy went way back. It was likely when he lived in Geochang, his childhood days before leaving and going to Seoul to train. It seemed so long ago, being in his mid to late twenties, that it was all blur.

There was his family and school friends, school days, specifically recess and lunch, the farm, the countryside, and the distinct street food you could only get there. God, it felt like a fable. His life went from low-income farmer boy to this international pop star, the whole rags to riches spiel. But these memories didn’t feel real, almost make-believe, maybe even nonexistent. His mind couldn’t replay those memories right now, feeling too shy to reveal it all to his trusting therapist that all the people and their faces were erased.

Well, not all faces.

He remembered one face as clear as day, but he knew that face would forever be a lost longing memory.

-

It was like everyone Taehyung knew had the sixth sense of knowing when he finished his session because calls and messages bombarded his phone. The tones bounced off his eardrums, grimacing at who was raiding the device.

Sure, his group chats with the members and his friends separately. The name of his sweet, sweet girlfriend popped on the screen with texts asking “how are you” or “let me know when you get home so I could cook dinner <3.” Anyone in the world would think these gestures were supportive and caring as a girlfriend should to their partner, but now, Taehyung did not want to deal with her and eventually ignored it, putting his phone on vibrate. He thanked his therapist before leaving the office and heading down to the elevators. 

As he entered the platform, his phone vibrated continuously. He groaned and rolled his eyes, thinking it was her again. But lo and behold, it was his best friend, Park Jimin. Though hesitant, Taehyung accepted the call and answered.

“Hello,” The idol greeted monotonously.

“Why, hello, my lovely giggling bear!” Jimin’s voice sounded too ecstatic for his best friend’s liking, but he didn’t comment on it as it was usually like him. “And how was your time in therapy?”

“You know you don’t have to call after every session I attend.” Taehyung commented when he stepped out of the elevator and then the building. “You’re only gonna get the same answer—less shitty than before.” He spotted one of his company cars waiting in the parking lot and walked towards it.

“I’m just worried about you. You should know that.” Jimin huffed, and Taehyung could almost see the pout evident on his best friend’s face. “Better me than Yoongi Hyung or Namjoon Hyung.”

The mentioning of their names puts a frown on him. He knew that though supportive of his path to improvement and soul searching, the way they spoke to him felt somewhat demeaning and scolding him for every little thing. Do this, not that. You should have stopped yourself before the mess gets bigger. Why are you doing that when you clearly know you shouldn’t do that? I think this is best for you. Blah, blah, blah.

Though he didn’t mention it with Dr. Im, right before everyone split to do their own thing, Taehyung fought with his hyungs, leading to Taehyung walking out of the company building frustrated and getting wasted until the following morning and not talking to them for almost two weeks. Things were said, insults were exchanged; it didn’t matter if they were right or wrong. Taehyung didn’t want to hear what’s been repeated countless times.

“I also miss you. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”Jimin announced, hoping to lighten the mood. “When I call, I wanna know how’s life for you.”

“I appreciate the gesture, but Jimin, I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.” Taehyung replied as he rubbed his tired eyes.

“I know you’re not fine, Tae. That’s why I’m worried.”

The idol sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose to calm himself. “Anyways, how’s your family? How’s Busan?” He wanted to switch the discussion over to Jimin, hoping he would get the notion that Taehyung didn’t want to talk about that.

Jimin paused and respired, understanding what he was doing, so he gave in and updated his best friend on his life. While Jimin was talking and he traveled through the city to go home, Taehyung’s mind wandered off, thinking back about his session. What popped into his mind was not spoken, but he explained that those memories were gone as those in it were gone, his environment changed, and the hold on his attachment was slowly loosening.

But then, his therapist said something that got him thinking.

“It’s a pain to not be able to have those things right now, especially when you know they made you happy. But having those memories are key to unlocking more ways of potential bringing yourself closer to your own happiness. Putting words into action.” Dr. Im responded, writing down more scribbles in his book yet staring at Taehyung. “You’ll know the types of people you want, you know where you should be, and understand how much you want it.”

Taehyung understood his therapist, giving him some hope but not as much as the professional intended. “You mentioned people, the types of people I wanted.” Dr. Im hummed. “What if it’s not the type of people, but just…the people?”

“What do you mean, Taehyung?”

Taehyung scratched the back of his head, gradually feeling his nerves tingling. He tried laughing it off as the man before he stared attentively. “It wasn’t the types of people I was with, but the people I was with. Actually, a person, specifically.”

“Are you willing to talk about this person?”

His therapist had no clue what or who he was talking about, but it brought out many mixed thoughts and emotions. The reference to it sent an aching twist in Taehyung’s heart. He didn’t like the feeling. It only reminded him that it was over and nothing had been the best since.

“Not, right now. No.”

-

Taehyung went into his house, located at the edge of the city, to avoid any disturbances yet be within the vicinity of his work. After a sasaeng threat, he moved out of his luxurious condo in the heart of Seoul and found a comfortable and lovely two-story house in a quiet yet secured neighborhood. It helped with his living situation, but not necessarily his life.

As he closed the front door, he heard feet padding down the hallway and a soft voice speaking whimsically, “You’re home!” Skinny limbs wrapped around his torso, making him tense up, but he ultimately eased himself to the touch.

He pushed out a grin and wrapped an arm around her, kissing the crown of her head. “Hi, babe.” She raised her head with her sparkling almond eyes, smiling only for and at the sight of her boyfriend returning home. He stared back and nodded, biting the inside of his mouth.

There she was—in her raw and glorified self—Na Clara, his girlfriend of five years. Clara came from an affluent family, the Na Group conglomerate, which became a stakeholder for Big Hit back in 2016. That was where the two met—at a stakeholder’s event as Clara was there for her family and Taehyung was there as part of the band to show respect and gratuity for the support the Na family has given. That very night was where everyone said, “Tae and Clara hit it off so well.” 

As the rise of Big Hit increased, the CEO at that time, Bang Sihyuk, and Na Seong-jin, Clara’s father, made a mutual agreement to part ways but still own part of the stocks. But the departure didn’t stop the blossoming relationship between the two. After countless flirting and dates, the two made it officially the following year and have been together ever since. They got Yeontan together and moved in with one another, so Clara left her family home to stay with her boyfriend.

Of course, due to Taehyung’s idol status, they agreed to keep their relationship a secret. Clara was indeed a socialite but also had an image to maintain for the sake of her family. Still, it wasn’t as harsh to keep up as Taehyung’s. The company insisted on annual NDA renewal contracts to ensure the idol’s safety. There were no disagreements as Clara happily signed the papers because, in her words, “As long as I have my Tae, then I’m happy.”

Clara was kind and caring, even to the members and others around her, and it was easy to gain the support of their relationship. She was also a philanthropist and animal lover, donating to charities and helping rescue endangered species. She was a real golden goddess, the visual of South Korea. Her shining long, ebony locks, pale glassy skin, glittering eyes, a body many women referenced for surgery, and a heart that melted and attracted many citizens. Men wanted her. Women wanted to be her. But she didn’t care about any of that.

Because Kim Taehyung had her heart and only looked his way.

Those who did know deemed their relationship as perfect in every way. Perfect connection, perfect communication, perfect attraction, perfect visuals, perfect, perfect, perfect.

But it was anything but.

“How was therapy?” She asked as she lets go of him to run back towards the kitchen. Taehyung took his shoes off before dragging his feet to follow his girlfriend. He rolled his eyes at the same old question everyone’s been asking him, and Clara wasn’t any different.

“Less shitty than before.” He mumbled loud enough for her to hear. Then softer taps to the floor amplified before a sharp squeaking bark of fluff came towards Taehyung. He crouched down to carry his pet before standing back on his feet.

“You know you should try to be a bit more enthusiastic about this.” She said as she stirred some kind of soup. Taehyung glanced over at the pot and scowled when he caught a waft of it.

“But I’m not.” He shrugged, caressing Yeontan in his arms.

“Tae, do you even try?” With an annoyed face, she looked up to her unbothered boyfriend.

“Yes, I try. But I don’t know. There’s some shit I’m not ready to talk about.”

“Therapy is supposed to help you open up.” She started out the obvious, which made Taehyung roll his eyes. “If not with your therapist, then with me or the boys.”

“You guys won’t understand if I told you.” He scoffed after settling his dog down. Clara tried to grab him next, but the Pomeranian ran away to his kettle. “You would think I’m psychopath with all my fucked up thoughts and behaviors.”

“Tae, stop calling yourself that! I don’t like it when you say those things.” She scolded as she turned off the stove.

“What, I thought you loved my weird expressions.” He cocked an eyebrow as he sat on the counter table stool. An outsider would look at them and assume that he was only teasing, but in actuality, he was pushing her temper.

“Not when you say shit like that!” Clara shook her head before sighing. “You’re not psychopath, I never thought of you like that.”

“Bet you thought a lot of things of me.” 

Ignoring his insufferable commentary, she said sincerely, “This is to help you understand yourself better, and understand we’re here to support you. You know…”

He didn’t even bother listening to her as his messages went off. His group chat, Wooga Squad, had all his hyungs, and they discussed late-night eating plans. Taehyung checked the time, and it was already close to eight on a Tuesday night. Nightlife wasn’t as busy compared to the weekends, so it was possible that Taehyung could hang out with them too.

“Tae! Are you even listening to me?” Clara shouted, snapping her fingers in front of his face and then shaking his shoulder.

The idol blinked rapidly, almost tunneling his vision with the phone conversation. It was a tendency he did as well as spacing out. “What?”

“Ugh, I hate when you do that.” The socialite sneered. “I was just talking to you too.”

“Can you chill? What you were saying wasn’t even that important. Jimin even said the same damn thing.” Taehyung snapped as he typed his reservation for the Wooga outing.

“Who are you texting?” Clara’s eyes attempted to leer at his phone, but she was a little too far, and it was angled in a way she couldn’t see anything.

Taehyung rolled his eyes heavily at her implicit interrogation. “It’s Seojoon Hyung. They wanted to have dinner outside in like an hour.”

“Tae, I’m already done making our dinner.” She pouted as she pushed the pot in his direction. “I made kimchi jjigae.”

“Oh, that’s what it is.” Taehyung gasped sarcastically. “Yeah, I still don’t want it.”

“Hey, I’m trying to cook more, okay?” Clara frowned. With her socialite status, Clara was attended to and pampered by maids and butlers from the day she was born. Ever since she moved in with Taehyung three years ago, she had to learn how to cook and clean without any help. Taehyung had to help her at some points, and he wasn’t the best either. Actual cooking wasn’t done until a couple of months ago as the food was always take-out. But when the idol mentioned how much he missed home-cooked meals in this therapy, Clara tried her best to learn some dishes.

“You are.” He agreed as he stood up, heading towards the door. “But I’m going.”

“Don’t you want to spend time with me?” The socialite followed Taehyung like Yeontan would. She watched him put on his shoes. “I’ve missed you the whole day.”

Taehyung exhaled before standing up straight, “I guess I can spend time with you tomorrow. I have somewhat of a free day. We’ll have breakfast together.” He kissed her head and patted her hair. He held her face in his hands. “But we’ll order in.”

Her pout shifted into a suppressing smile as she pulled his hands off her. She tugged his arms to encircle her waist, then wrapped her arms around his nape. “We better.” She tiptoed to peck his lips, transmitting shivers down his spine with mixed feelings. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

It was at the ringing of his phone that rescued him off of his girlfriend to take the call. He quickly bid farewell to Clara, who waved hopelessly before he closed the door behind him.

He answered, “Hyung! What’s up?”

“Tae, are you home?” Seojoon exclaimed through the speakers.

“I was, but I’m leaving now.”

“Stay there, Wooshik and I will be there in ten minutes. We’re dropping off Joohyuk home, said he’s got a family birthday to attend.”

There has been a somewhat unofficial addition to the group—Nam Joohyuk. Some may have seen him from Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo, Start-Up, or Twenty-Five Twenty-One. He has been slowly breaking the acting industry and stealing the hearts of fans worldwide, in addition to his modeling career. The group met him through Seojoon and eventually made his way into Wooga, coming to outings and trips.

However, Taehyung was weary of him. Sure, Joohyuk was pleasant and respectful towards the others and met the group’s criteria of being “too handsome,” but it was a bit off. Still, his hyungs loved spending time with him, and it can be assumed that Taehyung could be civil.

But he also kept his distance from him.

A sour face morphed onto the idol’s face, but his voice was poisonously friendly when he responded, “Aw, Hyung isn’t coming?”

“He said he’ll come next time, but not this time.”

“Yeah, unfortunate…” Taehyung rolled his eyes. “But yeah, I’ll wait for you.”

-

Walking through empty streets would seem eerie and dangerous, but it was basically heaven in Taehyung’s eyes. Wooshik suggested a place his cousin told him about, but he never looked it up until the group went. When Seojoon parked the car behind a nearby lot and got out, they realized it was completely barren.

They found out they were in a rundown part of Seoul where it was sketchy as fuck. Streetlights flickered, stray animals running, and a few individuals here and there, but they weren’t as approachable. They concluded that they were either a sex worker, a drug dealer, or someone interested in obtaining either or both. That was the one of the only reasons for anyone to be there, but it wasn’t the group’s reason.

“Wooshik, what the fuck is this place?” Seojoon scowled as they walked down the pavement. Eyes were on them, but it wasn’t the typical staring of celebrities. It was more so the eyes trying to hunt prey or wondering why the individual who clearly doesn’t fit in would come to an atypical location.

“Hyung, calm down.” Wooshik checked the maps to ensure they were going in the right direction. “It’s only the path. After that, there’ll be more activity and running places.”

“I just hope it’s not the same place as these watchers stay in.” The eldest of the bunch hoped. Let’s just say many of the sex workers had googly eyes with him the most. Worship was too busy navigating, and Taehyung felt somewhat relieved.

The idol didn’t need to hide his face or get recorded in this part of the city. Though it was a bit high-risk, there was a perk for him. Of course, he was still in constant fear of getting caught but mentally reassured himself. 

All he wanted to do was get away from all these problems, but it seemed to keep following him no matter where he went. He fucked up all that time ago, leading him to where he was: sad, enraged, and nervous. He really had no hope in things and went on dragging with what little life he had in him.

To Seojoon’s relief, they reached a pretty lit area. There were convenience stores, bars, low-rated clubs, and a small community. Most people walking and passing by were elderly, but it was safe enough.

“Jesus, this restaurant better be worth it after passing by mini Hell.” Seojoon breathed out with ease.

“You’re literally the tallest, strongest, and eldest among us.” Wooshik bluntly scoffed. “Be tough like a leopard.”

“So what? You know what can kill leopards? Lions! And you know what can kill Lions? Hyenas!” Seojoon countered at his younger. “We were surrounded by hyenas, Wooshik.”

Taehyung was grateful for his friends. Yes, he loved his members to death, but something about his friend group gave him solace, especially in these rough times. They helped him out, taking him out of the fights, limiting his alcohol and smoking, and keeping various eyes on their surroundings. This time was one of them, despite the high severity of it.

“We’re here!” Wooshik disregarded his rant, presenting the restaurant. It was small and rundown, having an entrance made by a bright blue tarp. Trash cans were filled to the brim with waste and other junk inside. Taehyung could have sworn a rat passed by. There were graffiti markings on the side, but it was still the cleanest everywhere.

Out of nowhere, two clearly-drunk large-set men stumbled out of the cloth holding onto one another. They exchanged rambling and laughing so loudly to make the bunch flinch. But out came a gentle-looking old grandmother, ensuring they were leaving safely.

“You two get home safe, okay? I called a cab for you. They’re coming soon.” The lady smiled and patted their back.

“Ohhhh, Halmeoni! Thank you so much!” One of them managed to say. “Always taking care!”

“Of course, for my loyal customers!” She laughed joyfully as she was about to go back inside, but the three extremely handsome men in front of her caught her very eyes. “Oh, welcome! Welcome to DanDan! Please come in!” She lifted the tarp open for them to enter first.

Though they were hesitant, they warmed up to her kind aura, thus going inside the restaurant. Their eyes scanned the place. It was utterly different from the outside. It held a cozier and comforting atmosphere, more intimate as compared to traditional restaurants in Seoul. It had a “family-owned” vibe, despite the customers being middle-aged men or elderly couples enjoying a night out. A male server came out from the back and handed plates, followed by busing the tables and wiping them down. Potted plants surrounded the corner, a TV in the middle, and the succulent aroma of food touched their noses.

“I’ve never seen handsome gentlemen before!” She cheered. Judging by her sentence, she knew nothing about who they were, which was a good sign.

“Oh, Halmeoni! I had a cousin come here and said your yukgaejang was out of this world!” Wooshik complimented, to which the old lady clapped in glee.

“Ahh, he’s too kind. Come, come, sit wherever you want.” She motioned towards the vacant seats. As they settled down, she handed them menus before walking away. They engaged in the list of foods to even realize she was gone.

She headed towards the back kitchen, squealing like a school girl, where she found her husband cooking and one of the only two servers fixing the plates. She eyed the particular worker before she called out their name.

“___!” Your boss whispered loudly in hopes the men didn’t hear from outside.

“Yes, Halmeoni?” You smiled, looking up from the orders that were ready to go.

“Sweetie, there’s a couple of guys out there.” She grinned, hinting at you to serve them.

You squinted your eyes at her and scrunched your nose at the thought, “Please, no more. I know you mean well, but I don’t want to talk to some creep. The last man turned out to be a scum.”

“And my apologies for that. But, this time is serious!” Your boss voiced out. “They’re super handsome, like a mother’s dream son-in-law!”

“Are you talking about me?” Your fellow coworker, Kenji, who was three years younger than you and the actual grandson of your bosses, stepped into the backroom and the conversation without permission.

“She said mother’s dream son-in-law, not Quasimodo’s twin.” You retorted, to which he stuck his tongue out to you.

“Nice one, ___!” Harabeoji laughed at his grandson.

“Kenny, please tell ___ about the handsome men out there.” Though it was bothersome at times that Halmeoni was being persistent, you enjoyed it. It reminded you of how your grandmother was to you.

“Oh, yeah. They’re super hot.” Your coworker joined in on the persuasion. “But you’re probably not their type, maybe even bottom tier that it’s last resort kind of thing.” Meanwhile, Kenji was the irritated brother you never wanted.

“First of all, that was rude, and it’s the reason why you’re still single, and second, whether they’re handsome or hot or not, I’m not looking.” You reasoned, putting up a feigned smile. 

“So what, you’re gonna die alone?” Kenji snorted, to which he received glaring eyes from you and his grandmother. He quickly shut his mouth and muttered an apology.

“It’s complicated, okay? I’m just trying to work and earn money.” You said before lifting your tray.

“Just have a look, kinda like window shop.” Halmeoni insinuated before concluding her suggestion. You sighed, giving in to making her happy, so you nodded before leaving the kitchen.

Meanwhile, the bunch wanted to order a whole receipt of the appetizing dishes, completely in awe of the prices and how good they sounded. The range of soups, meats, sides, and drinks was all too alluring.

“Looking at all of this made me hungry. I’m ready to order.” Wooshik bounced in his chair before putting the menu down. “Tae, you good enough to eat a lot?”

“Yeah, yeah.” The youngest one simply said. Though he looked at the dishes, his mind was preoccupied with everything. He thought the food would cheer him up, but it still didn’t meet his expectations.

“Don’t think about it right now. Just have some dinner with your lovely hyungs, and if you want to drink, we’ll buy some.” Seojoon proposed as he smiled reassuringly at the idol. “Also, dinner is on Wooshik.”

Worship was about to protest, but the eldest used his power card to make him shut up. “Yeah, it’s on me.”

During their conversation, you came out with the heavy trey and yelled, “Coming through!” You carefully paced towards another table and laid the food before dispersing it to the customers. All without knowing, you passed by him. 

“I’m going to the bathroom!” Taehyung announced as he stood up. The youngest had his back facing the kitchen and passageway. “Do you know where it is?”

“I think it’s just right down the hallway over there.” Seojoon pointed, making Taehyung turn his head in the direction and find the signs leading to the bathroom. All without knowing he passed by you.

“Cute waitress.” Wooshik nudged Seojoon as he caught sight of you.

Seojoon peered towards you, smiling at the elderly couple you were serving, “Looks young though, but agreed, she’s cute.” It was easier for them to spot you as they had a view of the back.

“Let’s get her attention.” Wooshik prompted before raising his hand and hollered, “Excuse me, Miss! We’d like to order.” Once you gave that table’s food, your eyes sought for your following table to attend to until you saw a hand held up. Your eyes widened at your discovery.

Not only were they attractive, but you knew who they were. Park Seojoon and Choi Wooshik were big-time actors in the country and potentially the world. Also, as an avid drama junkie who watched every drama and movie they were in, you could say you were a fan.

But obviously, you hid the fan in you away. As of now, they were somehow customers of the family-owned restaurant in a dangerous part of the city. You were good at hiding your emotions, which was fairly easy when you walked toward them with your customer service smile and gentle approach.

“Hi, welcome to DanDan. I’m ___. I’ll be serving you today.” You greeted to their liking, and you knew this because they smiled so beautifully back. “What can I get for you?” As they ordered, you wrote it down in detail as some orders were modified. They wanted dishes that weren’t spicy, no added coconut shavings, and no lemon on one. It was very particular, but you went with it. You’ve experienced picky eaters in the past, as a waitress and in life in general. 

You repeated their order, just in case you misheard, but they agreed to all. “Oh, before I forget, any drinks besides two cups of water?”

“Can we get three bottles of soju, and one coke.” Wooshik asked politely. “Oh, also three cups of water. Our other friend is in the bathroom right now.”

Hmm, another friend, they say. You wondered who it may be, Hyungsik? You knew some actors were friends with them, so it could be. You didn’t want to get your hopes high, but you couldn’t help but think if the other guy exceeded your expectations. 

You nodded mindlessly, “Okay, got your orders. I will be back with your drinks.” You turned your back as you walked towards the kitchen but stopped when Kenji came out with no task.

“Oh my God, Ken. Those men!” You whispered at your coworker so no one would hear. “Do you know who they are?”

“No? Am I supposed to know?” He denied it, taking a glimpse of the men talking to one another.

“That’s Park Seojoon and Choi Wooshik!” You beamed.

“Oh my God,” Kenji gasped. “I still don’t give a fuck.” Your mouth dropped as you scorned him.

Taehyung finally left the bathroom, walking down the hallway. While he did his business, he also thought about his happiness. The topic seemed to be under the spotlight in his brain, wanting to be recognized. He wanted happiness, like, who doesn’t? He loved when he was happy. Everything felt safe, comforting, and relaxing in his life. But it felt physically and mentally impossible for him now when those memories of when he was happy had a person in them, a specific person. Someone who truly made him feel alive and shined hope into his life.

But alas, she was no more after events that were too shameful for his liking.

All these thoughts weren’t getting him anywhere. Maybe he should give up on therapy. It was all Clara’s idea, and he just went with it to stop her pestering. It had its pros and cons, but he doesn’t know where he stood with it but him going was something? Like what was said, there was now no hope, and life dragged him. Walls seemed to cave in on him, testing how far he could go.

Then he paused at the end of the passageway with dilated pupils.

He felt his body freeze up, unable to take control of his limbs. His breath stopped for a second to gaze. His growling stomach rumbled with his anxiousness. He had to blink twice to see if it wasn’t his imagination. 

It couldn’t be; this was impossible; there was no way. The disbelief was vivid on his face but slowly made his jaw drop in shock as he processed the reality of it all. The door of lost longing memories opened with a flood as it crashed into his mind. Years of joy washed before his very eyes, years of hope sparked his nerves, years of happiness flashed on his face, and the years of the childhood friend he once had were right in front of him back after almost a decade apart.

“___?”

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter II: The Story of You and Me

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: Angst, not really a warning but the beginning of flashbacks for the story, you get to see them interact <3

Word Count: 6.8k

Chapter II: The Story of You and Me || Series Masterlist

The sounds of kiddish laughter together when you played on the swings. The thrill when you ran away from him and the bugs he caught. The cries of when he fell off the tree, and you hugged the pain away. The excitement when you two received ice cream from his mom and the innocence when you held hands as your permanent walking buddy. 

They were peaceful times, you couldn’t deny, unfortunately. You were young and clueless, having no real thoughts until he came into your life. His existence sealed a very idea. The everlasting belief that defined what friendship is for you was shaped by the story of you and him.

It started in Geochang when you were five and he was six. His family moved in with his paternal grandparents in the little town. And it just so happened that his grandparents lived next to yours. You remembered the moving truck and numerous boxes at the back as a clear day. The sun flashed down onto the neighborhood, with the greenery of trees shading the houses. Birds chirped and scattered across the sky. The summer breeze was gentle as you helped your grandmother water the plants on the front porch. Still, you grew distracted, especially when you saw three children running out and jumping towards Halmeoni Kim, screaming and hugging the older woman.

“Grandma, who’s that?” You asked as you pointed towards them. “Why are they attacking Halmeoni Kim?”

Your grandmother glanced at you before following your pointing, “Oh, it’s her son’s family. They just moved in with her.” You turned your head to see her smiling at them. 

“Seolji!” Halmeoni Kim spotted your grandmother and motioned her to come by. “Come meet my family!”

Seolji looked at your curious eyes and asked, “You wanna come meet them with me?” You furrowed your eyebrows and pushed out your lower lips before looking down at your feet, fidgeting your body in place. The lady knew you were always a shy child but also knew how you loved making friends, especially since there weren’t many kids in this area of town. You nodded, continuing to stare down. “Come, dear.” She held out her hand, and hesitantly, you wrapped your small hand around her fingers.

As you walked to the house with her and closer to the family, their faces were much defined. You noticed that there were two boys and a girl, around the same age, maybe even your age. You grew intimidated with the three versus one. You never had siblings, so it was always just you and your grandparents. You feared they wouldn’t like you, so you hid behind the skirt of your grandmother.

“This is my son, Jitae, and his wife, Miseon.” Halmeoni Kim introduced the other two grown-ups, and they exchanged greetings. “And these are their children, Taehyung, Eunjeong, and Sungyeon.” The Kim siblings waved back to your grandmother’s skirt.

“Ahhh, look at you gorgeous children.” Seolji was awed as she patted each of their heads, to which they smiled, gazing up. “Let me introduce you to my granddaughter, ___. She’s a little shy, but she’ll warm up to you.” Her head shifted towards your hiding self as you gripped the fabric tighter. “Come on, ___.”

You leaned to the side, peaking to see them. But you barely got a sight when the tallest and eldest boy of the bunch went up to you, blocking your way, and held out his hand with a rectangular smile.

“Hi, I’m Taehyung! Nice to meet you.” He greeted as he studied your features. Your hair was styled into pigtails with those two blue-balled hair ties, a matching blue dress, and those jelly shoes that your grandparents worked hard to afford. He also spotted a gold little necklace with a flower pendant around your neck.

Seolji pushed you forward and in front of him. Your eyes sparked curiosity yet uncertainty. However, meeting his genuine sparkling eyes made you feel comfortable, almost washing away your initial concerns. 

“Aww, what a beautiful granddaughter you have.” Taehyung’s mother complimented, watching your interaction.

You raised your trembling hand and grabbed onto his before he shook it rapidly, surprising you. “You’re ___, right?” Taehyung asked, and you nodded. “Let’s have fun!” The two younger siblings scrambled away and screamed playfully while the eldest boy tugged you lightly to come to join.

Your head pivoted towards your grandmother. She nodded and encouraged you to have fun before landing your eyes back on Taehyung. “Will you be there to play?” You wanted to make sure.

He nodded happily, “Of course! I’ll always play with you.” For the very first time, Taehyung saw you smile, following your cheeks protruded upwards. Your face was lighter and brighter. He liked your smile and wanted to see more of it.

And once you both ran off together, it was the beginning of an unforgettable friendship.

You learned about Taehyung, confirming that he was the eldest child of the Kim family yet the silliest one of the trio. They originally were from Daegu but moved to be closer to his grandparents as well as helped with her farming. He loves his family to pieces with how he acts. He was affectionate and caring but also a troublemaker. 

Taehyung was an outgoing child. He enjoyed playing outside the house or in the park and meeting new friends, especially when school started. They invited him to play or go to their birthday parties. With all these new friendships developing for his young self, your quiet, reserved self was still his number one.

Other kids loved you, but they loved Taehyung. He brought you with him as it got you out of your comfort zone. You were usually hesitant, but he made sure to tell you that he would be there for you all the time. When the two of you went out together, a group would jump on you to hang out, and you did.

But when you couldn’t handle kids, you had the habit of walking away and playing alone. But once he spotted you, he’d join in and relish every minute spent. You appreciated him for that. If he had to choose friends, he’d pick you right off the bat.

Taehyung also learned more about you, especially one night when you slept over at his house as a slumber party. His siblings fell asleep way too early, so it was just you and him in the living room. Blankets were stacked and spread across the floor with many pillows surrounding your bodies. You sat together in your pajamas, watching some cartoons while drinking some hot chocolate.

“Tae, you need to go to sleep soon. ___, you too.” Taehyung’s father stepped into the room, inspecting you both.

“We will, dad!” Taehyung shouted back, his eyes still on the TV. Even if he left you two alone, he knew that you weren’t sleeping anytime. But he lets it be and have your fun as it wasn’t a school night. His father said good night to both, but I love you to Taehyung before heading to bed himself.

Once you finished your hot chocolates, you got ready for bed. The living room lights were off, but a nightlight shined in the corner of the space. You closed your eyes to sleep, but Taehyung poked your side.

“___?” He asked. You opened your eyes and turned to face Taehyung, always staring at you. “Where are your parents?”

Without any thought, you replied, “They’re not here anymore. Grandma said they’re in heaven.”

“Like they’re dead?”

Though Taehyung meant no harm and blessed his soul, the way he said it made your eyes swell up with tears. Within seconds, he heard you wheezing with streaks running down your cheeks. “Oh, no! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that.” He got up and pulled your small body into his dainty arms. 

“It’s okay, I know.” You sniffled. He wiped the tears off your face and held you tightly. “But yeah, I don’t know what happened.”

You both stayed silent for a bit, taking in each other’s presence, before Taehyung wondered, “Do you miss them?”

“Yeah, I wish they were still here.” You nodded. “We were a happy family, but now it’s just me and grandma and grandpa.”

“Are you happy with your grandparents? Do you love them?”

“Yeah, I love them.”

“Then you’re still with family! And they love you too!”

“You’re right, but…” You got off of him and sat up to gaze into his eyes. “I get sad sometimes when I see your family.”

“What? Why?” He pouted and tilted his head.

“I wish I had that.”

He frowned harder, seeing your face grow dull and sad. He didn’t like seeing you in this state. He tried his best to cheer you up. “You do have that!”

Now your expression was puzzled, and you mimicked his leaning head. “What do you mean?”

“Yeah, you have your grandparents but now, you have us!” He cheered, putting a big smile on him. “Me and my family.”

“How is that possible?”

“Are you happy when you’re with us?” He questioned, and you nodded. “Do you love us?”

Blush appeared on your cheeks as you suddenly held eye contact with your lap. “Yeah, I love you guys.”

You felt his hands on your face, lifting your head to meet him. He grinned softly and scrunched his nose. “Then you’re family because we also love you, and you make us happy!”

Your glossy doe irises gaped at him as the soft light of the night light shined. His skin was silk, his hair was messy, and his demeanor was playful, but his heart radiated the most on him. He cared for you and wanted to protect you from all things possible. He giggled at your staring as he used his thumbs to tip off the excess tears before hugging you.

“I love you, ___!” It was the first of many times he told you that, and you believed him wholeheartedly. That was the moment he conveyed hope into your life and continued on as the years went by.

“I love you too.”

It was evident in the early years that Taehyung was important to you, and you hoped the same, well, he was explicit on it, showering you with affection you didn’t like, but you let him do it. You wanted to give him a gift of appreciation, but of course, you had no money, and you never liked asking your grandparents for it.

So you decided to make it with the box of crafts you had in your room. You took some time and tried to make it as perfect for him and you as possible. If your friendship was long-term, then this gift had to last too. After a couple of days, you were done and wrapped it into a small box.

It was the aftermath of his twelfth birthday as well as his party. You were granted permission to sleep over at his place once again. As usual, everyone went to bed except you two and stayed up watching a Disney movie on the couch. Though Taehyung was tired from all the fun and games and the opening of his presents, you still never gave your present to him. For some reason, you didn’t want to give it where people were watching. In your mind, the gift was only for you and him.

You eyed Taehyung, who rested his head on your shoulder, keeping his eyes on the screen. You licked your lips before nudging him, thus catching his attention.

He got off you and raised an eyebrow, “What’s up?” He noticed you agitating in your seat, a sign he knew all too well. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…” You spoke softly.

“Obviously, you’re lying.” He rolled his eyes, knowing you were easy to read. He leaned towards you as you fidgeted your fingers, a habit he knew when you were nervous. “Don’t lie. What’s wrong?” 

Your large pupils gazed at his with your opened mouth, trying to explain yourself. “I-I-I have a present.”

He lightly chuckled, “You don’t have to be nervous about that.” He patted your hair. “How come you didn’t give it at the party?”

“I wanted it a secret.” You replied. “You and me.”

He accepted your reasoning and nodded. He watched you get up and dig through your backpack before you brought out a small blue box in your hands. You sat back down and handed him the gift.

“Happy birthday!” You greeted once more, making him shine his signature smile at you.

In a rush, he ripped open the box until he discovered what was inside. He was somewhat confused, but then he realized it when he remembered what you had on your wrist during the party. He complimented it and wished you to make one for him, but little did he know, it was already created.

“You made me one too?” He gasped, pulling out the blue friendship braided bracelet made of hemp threads. To make it more personal, you weaved beads with his initial “T” and other cute charms like a tiger, a white flower, a strawberry, and a smiley face.

“It was my intention to, before I made mine.” You showed yours, which was completely identical to his except for the initial as it had yours. “It’s adjustable! Just pull the strings here. I tried my best...do you like it? Is it weird?”

“Are you kidding? This is the best thing!” He eagerly put it on and tightened it on his wrist. He examined it with so much passion and happiness on his face, then caught your prideful staring. “Thank you, ___. I love it.” He touched your accessorized wrist with him, acting like there was so much friendship power within the bracelets. “We’re now conjoined. You’re stuck with me forever and never leaving my side.”

You laughed at his proclamation, shaking your head. You reached for his fingers to intertwine them with yours, a common behavior in your friendship. “I’m serious. The idea of being apart from you—that’s never going to happen.” He pulled your arm so you could move closer to him. He kissed your hair before laying his cheek on your head.

“Me and you.” Taehyung spoke, holding your fingers tightly. 

Over time, your friendship grew stronger and more powerful like a fire burning bright. Everyone around you could see it from hundreds of kilometers away. But that was only an outsider’s perspective that the bond was too sturdy to break you apart, no matter how much it’s been trampled on. They never fully understood what you meant to each other, how you were always together, and why you were significant to one another. 

One could say it was because you had known each other since you were young, another could explain it’s because you shared the same interests, and some other person would assume that you liked each other, but since you were small, you wouldn’t even know it.

They could be right or wrong, but they’ll never know. Yes, you and Taehyung were similar yet very different, developing your own beliefs and values when you grew older. You were young when you met him, but whether six or sixty-three, you were destined to meet at some point. It didn’t matter. And some people…said things that felt like what ifs.

It was hard to explain in words. But the closest understanding you got with your simple adolescent mind was when walls seemed to cave in, you looked into each other’s eyes and you felt alive. You found comfort and hope in a pool of cocoa-swirled irises that sparkled at every glance. The gravitational pull was tough; no amount of magnets in the world could rip you apart. If away, which was rare, you always found yourselves back to one another.

But now it’s different.

Where was that friendship? It’s gone, incinerated by the flames of your own hold. Nothing left but dust that was soon blown away by the same summer breeze you met with. The bond diminished and became paper thin that even delicate silk could destroy it by a single touch. What was once there was gone.

But there you were right before Taehyung, after years apart, almost a decade. 

You were distracted by talking to someone. Yet Taehyung couldn’t help but stare at you. The last time he saw you, you were both teenagers, and the last known location you were in was back in Geochang.

It was pretty unfathomable. Like who would have thought you two were to meet in some dingy restaurant in the middle of a dangerous area? Also, why are you here, in Seoul? And specifically, this part of the city? So many questions ran through his mind. But the hard-hitting fact was you were there, in the flesh and within reach.

Wait, was it really you? Were his eyes misleading him? It has been a while…but if Taehyung trusted his intuition, then it had to be you. Your face was too distinct for him to forget.

Your familiar face still captured the warmth you used to present to him, usually with a welcoming smile and open arms. He couldn’t help but scrutinize your entire being. You grew into your features, even your curves, so he can assume that aging did you well. However, he noticed the little things that others usually don’t. Your rosy, plump cheeks were dull and hallow. Your hopeful twinkling eyes were covered with restlessness as dimness and darkness circulated them. You seemed thinner than how you normally were—if Taehyung could remember. You don’t look like you’ve eaten a proper meal.

He was filled with so many emotions that he felt like tearing up. But that emotion was thrown out because he refused to cry in this establishment.

He saw you huff and walk away, ending the conversation you had. The person you talked to rolled his eyes and turned around before accidentally facing Taehyung. The guy cocked an eyebrow at the idol, who kept this astonished expression on his face.

“Okay, you look familiar, but I still don’t care.” Kenji spoke before passing by Taehyung to go to the bathroom.

That made Taehyung snap out of his trance and shake his head. He quickly walked towards his hyungs, who had a heated discussion about something, and sat down with his worry high and mighty.

“She probably doesn’t know who we are.” Wooshik retorted. “I’d say you should flirt with her, kinda your type. You’re growing old, Hyung.”

“Shut your mouth and don’t be ridiculous.” Seojoon belittled. “Sure, she’s cute, pretty, but no way. She probably gets hit on, especially with the men here. I don’t think she wants that.”

“Hyung, have some confidence in yourself.” Wooshik complained, leaning back into his seat. “You’re good-looking—”

“W-who are you talking about?” Taehyung questioned, still frazzled by his discovery.

“The waitress serving us.” Wooshik smiled playfully. “She’s pretty and I’m telling hyung to talk to her, especially since she doesn’t know—”

“Hair this length, big doe-eyes, cute rounded nose, shapely cheekbones, her name ___?” Taehyung motioned and described you to a T, biting his lips and staring at the older men. 

They were stunned at how well their youngest friend pointed out the key characteristics of a stranger he didn’t even meet. “Uhh, yeah, her name was ___—How’d you know that? You were literally shitting in the bathroom.”

Taehyung was about to open his mouth to complain that he wasn’t pooping when all of a sudden, “I have your drinks right here!” You presented cheerfully to the men. Your head was angled in a way to look at Seojoon and Wooshik that you overlooked Taehyung. Yet surprised at your presence, the idol flinched and accidentally hit his knee from under the table. Hissing in pain, he dropped his utensils to the floor.

“Oh, no! Let me help you.” You gasped, and in a hurry, you placed the tray of beverages on the table to crouch down. 

Damn, your voice…he missed it. The tone would have healed his knee if that were possible. “Oh, fuck. My bad.” Taehyung winced, looking down at his knee and where his now dirtied chopstick lay on the ground.

The voice made your ears twitch; it sounded familiar, almost too familiar. But you cackled internally as you shook your head in disbelief. There was no fucking way, not a chance. You smiled at your stupid thought and gathered the utensils before looking up, “Don’t worry, sir, I’ll get you new…ones.”

You met the pair of cocoa-swirled irises.

The same ones you met when you were five. The same ones who brought you hope. The same ones who encouraged you. The same ones who had the arms that held you at night. The same ones who loved you. The same ones that showed you what true friendship was.

But the same ones who took it all back with nothing left for you to hold.

“___.” Taehyung’s jaw dropped as he saw you up close and personal. That familiar flower necklace still hung around neck. It really was you. 

So he was right. You were here.

You were back.

He couldn’t depict your expression. There was no emotion shown on your face. You were easy to read before, but now he can’t think of anything.

Breaking your eye contact away from him, you turned to the confused gentlemen with him and smiled. “I’ll be right back.” You stood up and placed their drinks on their table before taking your tray. You turned your back to them as you bit your lips in alarm, speeding down to the kitchen. 

Meanwhile, the idol couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. With no shame, he even shifted his chair to get a better view of you walking. Seojoon and Wooshik watched their friend in wonder and concern with the way he acted.

“Uhh, Tae? I know there’s that saying “look but don’t touch,” but at least make the looking less obvious and hungry.” Wooshik waved his hand in front of his friend’s face to grab his attention again. “Also you have a girlfriend.” The actor whispered that part to avoid gossip.

“What?” Taehyung could only say.

“Taehyung, you were staring at her.” Seojoon clarified. “Not even blankly like you usually do, you looked pretty stupid.”

The idol realized what he had done, and his face morphed into humiliation. He sighed and clicked his tongue, “Fuck.”

“D-do you know her?” The simple question from Wooshik brought Taehyung heart-wrenching stress.

Of course you did, in and out.

But he couldn’t say that, so he stayed quiet. At least not now.

-

“Ken, switch tables with me.” You barged into the kitchen and saw your coworker stealing a chicken wing. His grandfather frowned in disgust and continued cooking more. You folded your arms over your chest, glaring holes into him as if he did something.

Terrified he might have done something, he goes, “What? Why? What did I do?”

“Is something wrong, dear?” Halmeoni questioned, seeing your distress.

“Nothing, I promise.” You breathed out and pouted at your situation. “Dammit, how is this even possible?” You asked yourself, but it was coherent for Kenji to hear.

“What’s possible?” The younger boy pressed.

You sighed, “Things happened when I thought they weren’t going to happen.”

“That’s a shame.” Kenji exchanged. “Well, you need to get over it and do your thing.”

“Please switch tables with me.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m on my break.”

“Wha—Are you kidding me?” You fretted, looking towards your boss, who shrugged.

“I never kid about my breaks, ___.” Kenji informed, eating more wings.

“But…but the group of men!” You whined, stomping your foot on the ground. 

“Are they bothering you, sweetie?” Halmeoni asked.

“No…” You answered. “But—”

“Then it should be fine. Just serve them. It’ll be alright.” She reassured you. “If they touch you, call me or Halabeoji.”

“Why not me?” Kenji complained with a stuffed mouth that particles spat out.

Ignoring her grandson’s commentary, she looked at you, “Go.” She patted your shoulder. “Are they handsome?”

Seojoon and Wooshik, yes. Taehyung…it’s a whole story.

You shrugged before collecting their orders into a bigger surfaced tray.

-

The moment he saw you, Taehyung felt the urge to have you back into his life again. Maybe it was a sign. He did think about you during his therapy session. When he mentioned happiness and someone, it was all you. His memories had you. Wooshik brought them to a sketchy place, leading him to you. It’s all you. You. You. You.

Taehyung couldn’t be a little bitch and not let things happen. But from the first glance in years, he knew that there would be tension. After all that happened and how the both of you disappeared, seeing one another was the last thing you thought about. Still, there was a crucial faith in all of this. Both of you seemed to have forgotten. 

If away, which was rare, you always found yourselves back to one another.

You came out from the back with their orders and headed towards their table, where you felt Taehyung’s eyes on you. You tried your best to ignore him and did what you needed. In fact, you should focus more on Wooshik and Seojoon.

You settled your tray on a vacant table. You grabbed each dish to put it on the table, but as you did so, you saw Taehyung standing from his seat and assisting you. “Let me help you with that, ___!” You paid no attention to your helping hand and grinned at the other men. On the other hand, they witnessed the two of you being weird. Yes, Taehyung was a popular idol and would probably made you reactive regardless—he was a national figure, what do you expect? But this was different; it was questionable how resistant you were being at the first meet, as if you didn’t want to see his stupid face or you wanted to punch it. Maybe you didn’t care about the idol like other folks?Something was definitely up, and they wanted to know.

Once you were done, Taehyung sat back down, gazing up at you. But your head was turned to not see him but his friends. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“___, could have I get those new utensils?” Taehyung requested sweetly, smiling to ease you. He knew at the very least you were hostile, judging by how you treated him like the wind. Though it hurt, he understood why and couldn’t blame you.

But he did remember how he was able to get through to you. Of course, that was a decade ago, but nevertheless, it counted. He had to ease his way in, maybe a little assertive.

You kept your grin and pivoted your body to the unoccupied table to retrieve fresh and clean chopsticks, spoons, and napkins. Forcing yourself to not slam it, you swiftly set them in front of him and straightened it perfectly. 

“Thank you, ___. It’s wonderful.” The idol praised you, and you wanted to sucker punch him right there.

“Enjoy your meal!” You shouted before scurrying away. Before that, Seojoon could have sworn your eye twitched at Taehyung.

“Dude, the fuck was that?” Seojoon protested. “You’re creeping her out.”

“No, I’m not.” The younger man frowned. “I’m being friendly.”

“Yeah, helping her with the distribution, sounding too sweet, and saying her name.” The eldest listed down. “You even have puppy eyes at her. We know that look.”

Taehyung whined at his behavior, “Is it that obvious?”

“Yes, and I wanted her to help us grill the meat.” Wooshik alluded to the lost cause.

The idol gasped, “Oh, we should—”

“No!” They both said in unison.

“But seriously, what’s wrong with you?” Seojoon dwelled on the topic. “This is the most I’ve seen you pressed in a while. Do you know her?”

Taehyung closed his eyes and breathed, “Yeah, I do.”

“We’ve never seen her before.” Wooshik muttered. “Was she staff?”

“No.”

“Assistant?”

“No.”

“Former NDA?”

“Are you serious?”

“What? I’m trying to figure it out.” Wooshik pouted as he bit into his cooked meat. “You’re doing that thing, being mysterious and it’s annoying.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Tae, just tell us. We aren’t going to say anything.” Seojoon demanded, trying to enjoy his dinner in peace. “Who are we gonna tell? The people I gossip to are literally here.”

He wanted to tell his hyungs. He really did. But saying it would bring pain to him. The last time he spoke directly about you with name and everything to others was pre-debut. Everyone he met after, including Wooga Squad and Clara, didn’t know who you were and what you meant to him. 

“I know it sounds basic but we’re here for you.” Wooshik reassured. “If you’re not ready to talk, then so be it. But don’t act like that. You don’t want to be labeled as a creep by the media.”

“A bit harsh, hyung.” Taehyung glared, feeling a sting. Wooshik immediately felt terrible and apologized. “It’s complicated??” Both friends raised their eyebrows. “She was my friend, best friend.”

“Seems like there’s more than what you’re saying.” Seojoon pondered. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Then Taehyung shook his head. Not yet.

And that somewhat ended the conversation and fed a bit of his hyungs’ curiosity, but Taehyung knew there would be more that needed to be said about you. As they were eating, the idol had numerous questions for you, wanting to catch up, reminisce, and be friends again, yet there was apparent doubt if you were willing to do that with him.

You checked up on them repeatedly, bringing in more alcohol. Every time you went to their table, all Taehyung’s attention went to you. But you never acknowledged or reciprocated him. However, you couldn’t help but observe the consumption Taehyung did. You assumed he wasn’t the type, but what do you know? Nothing, that’s what, so you let it be.

As they got closer to finishing their dinner, the restaurant was practically empty. The only customers were them and this passed-out man. The place closed late, and it was almost midnight. When you thought they were getting the check, Seojoon requested a large bowl of yukgaejang. Perplexed as you saw all of them nearing food comas, you rang in the order and went to the back.

After ten minutes, you returned with a fresh, steaming bowl of spicy beef vegetable soup. You went around to give it to Seojoon, but he stopped you. 

“Have a seat.” Seojoon offered the empty chair that was next to a buzzed Taehyung.

“What?” Your pupils dilated towards the eldest man.

“You’ve been running back and forth all night, probably even before we came. I know there’s another server, but I barely saw him.” Seojoon briefed. You grimaced at the thought of a lazy Kenji eating in the back but smiled genuinely. It was the smile that Taehyung always enjoyed seeing. “Sit and eat with us.”

“Smooth, Hyung.” Wooshik voiced, and you heard him though you didn’t think it was intended.

Nonetheless, you were skeptical. Not because of their kind gesture, but just being near him. He looked pretty tipsy, but who knows what would happen if he was in your presence? You did a damn good job of giving the cold shoulder, so it wouldn’t be too bad.

Still, you were nervous about your unconscious behaviors.

“I—I don’t know if I’m allowed to.” You chuckled tensely. Your fingers fidgeted underneath the bowl, and Taehyung caught on, noticing you still had that habit.

“She is! I approve!” The boisterous voice caught your attention when you spotted Halmeoni smile in your direction with a thumbs up. You blinked as you bit your lips, not being able to escape.

“Your boss approves.” A red Wooshik giggled, followed by Seojoon. You saw Taehyung in your peripheral vision. His pouting lips and puppy eyes gawked at you. You knew that look; you didn’t want that.

Playing it off cool, you sighed and nodded, setting the bowl down and sitting next to Taehyung, still not giving him the time of day. “Thank you for the meal.” You reached the table over to grab a clean spoon and began sipping on the broth. You weren’t going to lie; this was very deserving. You’ve been awake since six in the morning and have been on your feet. You had snacks throughout the day, but this was your first actual meal today. The soup warmed you up, and you were less irritated about today. 

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Wooshik looked at you eating, actually, all of them, which would be disturbing, but you were too hungry to care.

“Yes, this is actually great. This sounds bad, but this is my first meal of the day.” You responded.

“What?!” The booming vocals of the culprit next to you made the entire table flinch. Taehyung’s eyes widened at your report while the two across from you eyed their friend’s behavior. You didn’t bother seeing him and went on eating.

Trying to break ice and awkwardness, Seojoon emphasized, “The way you speak has some dialect. You’re not from Seoul?”

You shook your head, scooping some meat into the spoon. “No, I’m surprised you noticed. Not much people point it out.”

The man shrugged, “It sounded familiar.” He hinted vaguely, but you weren’t able to catch on. Yet Taehyung did. “So where are you from.”

You opened your mouth but closed it with uncertainty. But then you honestly answered, “Geochang.”

Wooshik hummed in response, “Tae, aren’t you from there?”

You paused your eating, detecting suspicion. You eyed Wooshik, who saw nothing wrong with what he said. Maybe you’re just on edge. You couldn’t think properly with no food in your system.

“Uhh, yeah. I was.” Taehyung agreed, and that was it as Seojoon asked another question.

“So Geochang. That’s like three hours from here.” The eldest one stated. “What brings you here?”

You scrunched your nose, now understanding what they were trying to do. But you tried your best not to show any change in demeanor. Even if he was there, you were talking to the handsome man in front of you. “I’m here for graduate’s school.”

“A beautiful, smart, and kind woman.” Wooshik complimented, making you blush.

Taehyung couldn’t help but be a little envious of his friends. Your eyes were on them the whole time, and not once were they on him. You really didn’t want to acknowledge him, and it deflated him. He felt hopeless right now, so he just looked the other way from you and leaned into the table as he drank soju straight from the bottle.

By the time they left and paid the bill, Taehyung was drunk, relatively unbalanced walking but still said intelligible sentences. Your eyes inspected his moves, with Wooshik holding onto him for support. His intoxicated irises roamed anywhere but yours, making you feel some way. But what’s done was done.

They thanked you and greeted a good night as they departed out of the tarp. They were the last customers before closing the shop. A gate was hidden at the entrance to which you slid it closed and locked. After doing so, you were met with Kenji with an inquisitive expression.

“Interesting bunch.” Kenji pointed out. “Especially that dude next to you drinking his spirit away. He deadass drank like four bottles alone.”

“Maybe he had a rough night.” You murmured as you shrugged.

“Nah, he was eyeballing you the entire time.”

“What’s new? I get that, especially from unprovoked men who come here.”

“I’m a decent man, ___. I know that stare.” Your coworker reasoned, to which you snorted in disbelief. “That stare was longing, hopelessly longing.” You leered back, sending your silence as a response. “The way you ignored him too. That’s cold. But with that, you either knew the guy or…no, yeah. You knew him.”

“Please, I could have done that with anyone.”

“You could, but you didn’t with his friends.” Kenji smirked, knowing he’s got somewhere. “I looked him up because you mentioned his friend’s names, and he’s from BTS! He’s V. I could have asked for a picture. You literally ignored V!”

“So??”

“No sane person would do that, ___, especially in Korea.” Your worker argued as you kept quiet. “I’m guessing, you do know him and something happen.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, recalling that Kenji was studying forensic psychology. You didn’t think he would study your behavior with them, considering he was in the back, but he had his ways.

“None of your business, coworker.” You ended the conversation as you snatched a cloth and wiped down the tables.

“Ahhh, you pulled that card!” Kenji burst out. “Well, ___, I’m eventually gonna know what happens sooner or later. You’re gonna have to deal with it too! Take your time, girl.” He left you alone to get the mop from the end of the hallway.

His words lingered in your mind, not wanting to believe him. It was a mere coincidence that you ran into Taehyung after a decade. It sucked, but it happened. Though some reunions flourished into rekindling, you hoped yours didn’t. You assumed by how you behaved that he got the message that you didn’t want to associate with him at all. The end of your friendship still ached, leaving some figurative bruises and scars on you while he soared through the sky with his success and high-status friends.

Though deep down, it was somewhat fair to see him. Good for him, at least that he was doing well. Probably forgot about you since he looked so baffled seeing you again. But it’s all over now.

After cleaning up, you bowed and waved goodbye to your bosses and coworker. Carelessly, you slid the gate closed behind you as you navigated to the nearest bus stop with your outdated phone. You were still a novice around the area, getting slightly lost, but it wasn’t too bad.

You sighed, seeing that it was past one in the morning, knowing you’ll get probably four hours of sleep—wait, you had to complete an assignment, but it was okay. That was your typical life of you. 

You inspected both ways of the street; most people were gone, and the roads were empty. You weren’t a dumbass to pass by that particular part of the town unless you wanted to get kidnapped. You were still cautious, but these walks around here were pretty comforting.

“Didn’t peg you as a city girl.” The familiar voice that used to calm you down sent shivers down your spine. You controlled your breathing and furrowed your eyebrows. Your thoughts were too optimistic about him leaving you alone. You should have known better.

You guessed that disregarding him didn’t work, so you might as well talk to him for the first time in years. “Well, you don’t know me anymore.” You turned around, seeing him leaning on one of the street light poles. You didn’t see Seojoon or Wooshik around, just him, so you wondered if they were idiots leaving his drunk friend in a part of the city he knew nothing about.

“Hi, ___.” His mouth curved sluggishly. He seemed to sober up while waiting outside for you, but he continued to be tipsy.

“Why are you here? Go home.” You crossed your arms over your front.

“I could tell you the same thing.”

“Okay, bye.” Your heel pivoted around to leave. However, he stepped forward, reaching for your arm, but you seized your limbs back from him. “Don’t touch me.” You seethed through your teeth.

He dropped his hand to his side, “Sorry.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, “Taehyung, I’m so tired. I’m asking you kindly—”

“How are you?” He interjected. “How’ve you been?”

You stared at his audacity, your eye twitching at those modest questions to which he didn’t deserve answers. You shook your head and retaliated, “I’m not answering that to someone like you. You deserve nothing from me.”

“___—”

“Stop it.” It was your turn to interrupt him. “I don’t want to hear it. After everything, you don’t get to do this with me. We may have ran into each other, but that doesn’t mean anything.”

He stayed silent and kept his pupils on you. Unfortunately, it was challenging to speak things out with his intoxicated brain. So much in his head. But without the words coming out of his mouth, he stood there like a fool in front of his ex-best friend in the whole wide world.

“Just leave me alone.” You flattened your lips in a line. “Like how you’ve been doing for the last ten years.” You left him like that to go home. You had other things to do besides him. It was unnecessary for it.

You didn’t even look back. You failed to detect Seojoon and Wooshik coming out the side of the building and witnessing their friend fighting back the tears. Because if you did—

Everything that wasn’t said would have come out.

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter III: Blue

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: Fighting, flashbacks (fluff, when they were little 🥹)

Word Count: 6.4k

Chapter III: Blue || Series Masterlist

Taehyung stared mundanely at the scribbled notepad laying on the desk of his studio. His gel-inked pen tapped rhythmically onto the surface as he licked his lips  Short phrases were written across the sheet, insignificant notes in the corners, like, groceries or calling someone, but most of the space was taken up by doodles he drew out of boredom. He didn’t get very far today, maybe a sentence or two, but he doubted it’ll make sense. He breathed out and lightly threw his pen on the table before leaning back into the chair. Coming here was a bad idea.

Taehyung crafted many songs within this very room, Scenery, Blue & Grey, Winter Bear, and other unreleased content. He remembered the motivation he once had, the passion inside, and now there was a lack of it.

It has been a while since he stepped into the studio. After the break, he didn’t go into the HYBE building in hopes it did something to ease himself. But after almost a month of being away, Taehyung felt isolated as he only stayed home and went to therapy. But when he didn’t have to go in, he didn’t want to be home, so he’d go out, and that was about it. He acted like a potato when in actuality, he was a multi-billion-won idol.

He assumed coming back to the studio would be a nice change, maybe even pull out a song or two for his solo album. Everyone in the group has been working diligently on their individual projects with Hoseok having his album coming out. The only person that wasn’t working was Taehyung.

At least he and his members had some kind of agreement that he should pause his professional life. But then, it slowly went into a rant from Namjoon and Seokjin about his well-being and he disassociated from the conversation.

He had a few events in his schedule, but that was about it. With the amount of free time the idol had, he didn’t know what to do.

Actually, that was a straight-up lie. He did know, but he didn’t know how to because it revolved around you. 

It has been a few days since he ran into you. If he was honest, when you said that, it fucking hurt, like hearing your voice—the voice that brought him solace—telling him to leave you alone, it brought stabs to his chest. You were so cold within that short exchange, it wasn’t how he remembered you.

But it was still you.

You were still his Blue.

“Blue!!” Taehyung shouted as he barged into your room without notice.

On the floor resting on your stomach, you were coloring in your coloring book with colored pencils. You dragged the tinted led within the lines and filled the blank spaces. You were too focused on your activity, unintentionally ignoring your best friend.

“Blue!” He called your endearing nickname as he laid his body on top of you, squishing you in the process.

“Oof, Hyungie!” You whined his nickname, trying to push him away and he was heavier than you.

“Notice me!” He giggled before rolling off of you before he positioned himself right next to you as you proceeded with your coloring. “Hey! Hey!!!”

You puffed, closing your book to turn to your friend. “Yes?”

“I have something for you!” He announced with a cheeky grin. You leaned your cheek into the palm of your hand, letting it carry some weight as you waited for him. He reached behind him and dug into his back pocket, then pulled out a smooth rock. “Tada!!”

You gasped, “Ooo, this is the prettiest one yet!” You opened your unoccupied palm out to him. He passed the stone and you examined the newest one in your collection. The size was small enough to hold between your minuscule thumbs and forefinger as the ivory-beige surface reflected from the sunlight spilling through your window. You followed the glimmer as it flashed on the cheeks of your best friend. 

You lowered your hand as you grinned happily, “I love it, Hyungie!” You threw yourself onto him to give your famous “blugs” as Taehyung loved to call them, also known as Blue hugs as they always made him happy or calmed him down.

He wrapped his arms around you as your cheeks touched with his, “You can add them to your collection.” You nodded as you got up from the floor to head into your closet where your collection box of various pebbles or rocks was stashed.

It wasn’t completely filled, maybe at most seven, as it only started a couple of months ago. You enjoyed it though and Taehyung knew you loved it so he too helped out with your hobby. Almost every single day, you begged him to find a rock for you.

You asked him before if he wanted to start a collection as well, but he said he didn’t need to since he was fine with the one he had. You were confused by what he said, but he clarified it by saying, “You’re the only rock I want.”

As you settled your newest one to the edition, you heard Taehyung speak, “Blue, do you wanna play with me and some kids at the playground?”

Your eyes widened at the suggestion. You weren’t that keen on leaving the house today. You’d rather stay home and color. Your neck extended back to him and you said, “Uhh, you can go without me.”

But your response only made your best friend pout, “But I love having you there, Blue.”

“W-will there be a lot of kids there?” You stammered, you fully turned your body to him and tilted your head.

“I’m not sure, but your grandma and my mom said yes!” He beamed a smile at you, only making you give in to him. You loved seeing him happy.

“Okay,” You nodded with a gentle smile back, but Taehyung somehow knew it was slightly discomforted. “You’ll play with me, right?”

Taehyung crawled towards you to put his hands on your shoulders. You stared at your large sparkling irises, waiting for him to speak. “I will always play with you, Blue. Just play a game or two with everyone.”

Your rosy cheeks protruded out, showing the authenticity of your smile. He loved that look on you. He squished your cheeks together and shook you a bit, causing you to whine at his playfulness.

“Don’t leave my side, okay?” You asked as reassurance.

“I’m never leaving your side, I swear.” He promised as he crossed his heart through his twisted fingers over his chest.

“Then let’s go!” You cheered before grabbing his hand to pull him up and run out of your house together.

Taehyung smiled softly at the memory. Rocks and playing at the park with other children seemed like strenuous tasks when you were younger. Looking back, he wished it was your only problem now.

You two trusted one another throughout your childhood, helping one another out. Whether it was helping to participate in socialization or homework, it was difficult but you eventually overcame it together. All without leaving each other behind.

It was always you two, Blue and Hyungie, a complete package to everyone’s eyes despite some of them begging to differ. They knew they couldn’t pull you both apart. It was merely impossible.

Funny how things changed. The broken promises, the hostility between each other—well, one-sided,—the impossible became possible.

He didn’t anticipate the meet because what were the odds? You weren’t one to move or go into the big city, because of how you were. You were so shy, quiet, and hesitant about a lot of things. But again, who knew? He hasn’t known what you’ve done through the years passed.

He knew what you had together was strained and it stung, but the moment he saw you, he knew. All the memories, all the years of friendship, all the promises were back, and most importantly, you were back.

He was determined to get you back into your lives. He’ll do what it takes.

-

“Why do you keep staring at the entrance?”

You averted your attention to your curious coworker. It was your night shift again, but today was slower than usual, especially for a Friday night. Maybe your usual customers were drunk elsewhere hitting on younger presenting women. Since it was too slow that no one was here, you had a break with Kenji as he slurped up noodles in front of you.

“I’m not? Just daydreaming.” You muttered, leaning your arms on the table. You eyed the tarp before you played with the straw of your drink.

“No, you’re waiting for someone to come,” Kenji smirked. “Specifically someone named V?”

“No,” You clipped as you rolled your eyes. “And why would someone have a single letter for a name? Fucking stupid.”

“You say no but I’ve been watching you do the same thing the past three days.”

“Are you spying on me, you creep?” You scoffed as you sipped your beverage.

“It’s an observation, especially when you’re working less than me. That’s not supposed to happen!” Kenji rambled his stressor onto you, but you remained unaffected. After gathering himself together, he cleared his throat. “Look, though you seem to act like you want nothing to do with him, you clearly want to see him again.”

“No, I don’t.” You replied shortly. “I-I’m just waiting for another customer to come in. It’s slow and I actually want to work unlike you.”

“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes before going back to his food. You then heard the tarp open, ready to serve the customer. You stood up and looked in that direction, only to frown publicly.

The customer before you had the eyes you didn’t openly want to see but can spot kilometers away even with your poor vision. He dressed more casually, in a hoodie and loose pants with a mask covering his face. You noticed it was only him, no Seojoon or Wooshik which deflated you a bit. Wasn’t he famous and needed bodyguards everywhere he went? What was Taehyung doing here alone on a Friday night?

“Ken, can you serve them? I have dishes to do in the back.” You tried excusing yourself, feeling Taehyung’s eyes on you.

“No, since you’re so passionate about serving the customers.” He said tersely as he munched on his noodles.

You grimaced at your coworker before glaring at him. You grabbed a menu and nodded towards any seat for him. He smiled back with ease and you hated it. You watched as he took the corner seat in the front, facing the back.

You cautiously walked towards him and placed the menu in front of him. “Welcome, how may I help you?” You spoke monotonously.

“I’ll have water and coke for now,” He asked sweetly. The tone was poisonous to your dark aura towards him but did your best to not show it. You hummed boringly before turning away from him to get his drinks. You don’t see it, but his eyes never left yours and it can be felt.

As you walked to the back, you heard Kenji say, “Have fun with your boy toy.” He stage whispered. Without turning your head, you merely flipped him off before you grabbed some cups. You heard Kenji let out his annoying laughter.

You came back to Taehyung’s table with his order in your hands. You placed them down before pulling out your mini booklet to write the orders. “What would you like?”

“How are you?” Taehyung asked as he looked up at you. Your eyes pulled away from the blank pad to get a good look at the idol. His expression held genuine curiosity and wonder toward you.

You didn’t like the feeling he gave you, so your only way to refute was through passive-aggressive statements. “What would you like, sir?”

“___, that’s too formal. You can call me—”

“I don’t care, what would you like to order?” You were brusque, despite him being a customer. It couldn’t be helped. If ignoring him wasn’t working, maybe anger would.

Taehyung frowned and a slight nip to his chest at the way you spoke to him. You detected his hurt, but you say nothing and waited for him to order. Knowing he needed to do a bit more effort but had to do it carefully, he sighed and ordered like any regular customer. You did your typical report back as confirmation before ringing in his dishes.

While waiting for his meal and for you to come back, Taehyung spotted the messages on his phone. They were all coming from Clara which made him pull a face of discomfort. Didn’t she have something to do tonight? The majority of the messages asked where he was or if he’ll be home for dinner, the standard bug of annoyance within his daily life.

He quickly texted back saying no and that he was out with friends as an excuse. Maybe she’ll leave him alone after that.

It was only until Clara texted at a record speed saying that she told him to go have fun and how she loves him when he saw you coming back with one of his dishes. Though he read it, he didn’t text back and locked his phone before you were near his peripheral vision. He shined an exciting grin on your animosity as you settled the plate down. You muttered a quick “enjoy” and were about to turn away until he called for you.

Your eyes met his and waited for his request. “Come sit with me.”

“Can’t, I’m busy with work.” You answered swiftly, not wanting to be near him.

Taehyung scanned the empty restaurant and cocked an eyebrow. “There’s no one here.”

“And so? I have other things to do besides attend to customers.” You snapped back. You didn’t bother to even wait for his answer as you went back to the kitchen to retrieve his other food. You noticed Kenji moved leisure spots as he was now sitting on one of the kitchen surfaces. He too viewed your irritated demeanor, trying to grab all the dishes at once.

“You got him all to yourself, you know?” Kenji grinned as he grabbed a baby carrot on the side.

“Shut up, it wasn’t my choice anyway because of your lazy ass.” You retorted, collecting the plates to your tray.

“I can sense that he did something to already annoy you.” He continued to speak without your consent. “Well, I don’t think he even needs to t—”

“You either help me pass these to him or else I’ll rip your nuts off.” You threatened before you stared deadly at his frightened expression. He got off his butt and assisted you with the food. He followed behind you out of the kitchen with a filled tray.

While you and he silently placed the orders on the idol’s table, Taehyung couldn’t help but stare at you. He begged for your attention, but you weren’t having it. He was trying his best to approach you gently, but it almost seemed impossible with how you were towards him. The only thing that was helping him was the fact that you needed to serve him.

“Enjoy your meal!” Kenji bowed at the idol with a smile while you stood straight with crossed arms. 

Taehyung’s eyes flicked from you to Kenji, getting an idea out of nowhere. “W-would you both like to sit and eat with me? This is awfully a lot for one person?”

You rolled your eyes at what he was trying to do. “Well, that’s your fault. You ordered them so—”

“Anything for the customer!” Kenji exclaimed before grasping your arm and pulling you to sit down in front of Taehyung. Your coworker settled next to you and thanked Taehyung for the meal.

You turned towards Kenji and squinted, “You already ate and you do realize th—”

“I don’t care. Free food.” The younger man shrugged as he adjusted the chopsticks to his liking before digging into the food with no shame whatsoever. He shoved various vegetables and meats into his filled mouth without even chewing which disgusted you.

“___, aren’t you gonna eat?” Your eyes shifted to Taehyung who had yet to eat his food, tilting his head.

“I’m not hungry.” You said. It was a lie, but you refused to give him the satisfaction.

“Are you su—”

“She hasn’t eaten since breakfast.” Chunks of food flew out of Kenji’s mouth, making you both grimace at him.

But the very discovery of you not eating for hours had Taehyung concerned. The idol frowned in worry as he pushed the bowl of beef bone soup to you. “You need to eat more, it’s not healthy to skip meals.” He expressed before adding spicy sauce, garlic, and mints to the bowl. “I remembered this is your favorite and you loved putting these inside.” He recollected from memories with a proud smile.

You hated that your chest slightly tightened at how he remembered your favorite soup and toppings. It was something you were passionately particular with, especially with your soups since you loved the kick to it. “No, thanks. It’s not my favorite anymore.” You lied again as you leaned back into the chair. You refused to give him that pleasure.

“Oh.” Taehyung’s lips thinned into a line before looking down at the other plates.

Kenji raised an eyebrow at the encounter. He questioned how a world’s famous idol knew you and judging by appearance, tried to gain some sort of acceptance from you. He also wondered what happened between you two. But right now, you were making the atmosphere awkward, and wanted to enjoy his meal.

“Yah, just eat it! Don’t care if it isn’t your favorite.” Kenji muffled with food in his mouth. “Be grateful he’s feeding rats like us!”

Well, that did it because now you felt guilty about your childish behavior. Yes, it was irrational but to give to Taehyung, it wasn’t. He, unlike every human, didn’t deserve your kindness.

Still, knowing that Kenji would grow irritated at you for giving up a free meal, you let it go just this once. So you wordlessly picked up the spoon while dragging the bowl more to you. You scooped broth and sipped the warmth delicacy. Jesus, it hit the spot after starving for hours.

“Eat well, ___.” Taehyung desired for you with a gentle chuckle. The vibrations in his chest were evident, letting you remember the joy it rung in the past when he was with you. You eyed him out, consuming the meat the soup came with. You showed no effort to show your appreciation other than eating.

Though Taehyung got hurt by your overlook, he tried to feel better due to the fact you were still in front of him. He too began eating, but he attempted to start conversations with both of you. However, only Kenji was willing to yap his ass off, telling the idol his whole biography from start to finish.

Unluckily for an oblivious Kenji, Taehyung didn’t care as his gaze kept on your quiet state. You did not participate whatsoever and it showed as you made it blatantly obvious yet polite that you wanted to leave after finishing your meal within ten minutes.

Taehyung remembered how you would eat so fast especially when you’re hungry. Satisfaction ran across his body, staring at your familiar features. There were little things that he’d always remember about you, yet you remained stubborn in proclaiming you’ve changed.

“So how do you two know each other?” The question Kenji blurted out threw you both off. He went from talking about the time he stepped on a prickly coral in Busan to wanting to know the gossip between you too.

Taehyung blinked before furrowing his eyebrows, “Uhh, we are childhood best friends since we were five and six.” His tone was rather prideful for realizing how long he has known you.

“Were. We were childhood best friends.” You corrected as you sipped on some water.  “Not anymore.“

The idol felt disheartened. He assumed no one in your life knew who he was to you if Kenji had to ask. “You’re still my best friend.”

“Well, you’re not for me.” You immediately shut down, somewhat regretting the poison you’ve given.

Taehyung sighed and nodded, but it wasn’t for acceptance but for acknowledgment. “When my friends and I came here the other night, it was the first time I saw ___ in years so it’s nice to know a familiar unforgettable face like hers.”

“Oh, please.” You mumbled, scowling at his lying words which the idol caught.

“It’s true,” Taehyung murmured, yet his words were very much coherent to the workers. You thinned your lips, not buying into anything that came out of his mouth.

“Wow, so you knew V of BTS before he was even famous?” Kenji asked you in astonishment.

You couldn’t hide the fact when the allegations were clear on your face. Plus, putting effort into hiding you knew him required work that you didn’t want. “Yeah, I guess.” At least you acknowledged you knew him for Taehyung’s distraught sake. 

“Ooh, how exciting!” Kenji cheered. “Was ___ always this bitchy?”

“Kenji!” You scowled before slapping his shoulder. Your coworker winced in pain, complaining about what he did.

Chuckling at your interaction with Kenji, Taehyung huffed out, “___ is the sweetest, kindest person you’ll ever meet.”

“I beg to differ.” Kenji scowled at you as you stuck your tongue out. 

“I promise you she is.” The idol reassured, but you didn’t like how Taehyung was spreading things you didn’t want him to.

Your patience was running thin so you shouted, “You don’t know sh—”

“Oh my!” Another voice popped out of nowhere, grabbing the attention of the occupants from the table. It was your bosses. “Handsome boy! You’re back.”

“What are you talking about, Halmeoni? I’ve always been right here.” Kenji snorted with a boosting ego.

“You, hush up.” Harabeoji hissed at Kenji, causing him to pout.

Ignoring her grandson, she continued looking. “How are you, dear? Thank you for keeping them busy and with company.”

Taehyung shook his hand in disagreement, “Oh no, no need to thank me. I enjoyed my meal here the other day. I wanted to come again, and you have excellent servers.”

Though Kenji was pleased with the praise, you had revulsion written on your demeanor. You didn’t need his commentary or him.

“Halmeoni, this guy I told you about! He’s famous, he’s in BTS!” Kenji announced excitedly.

“Oh, you’re in BTS?!” The old lady’s jaw unlocked in shock. She scrutinized Taehyung’s face closer than normal before realizing it. “You are! You’re the handsome V! Oh my, V loves our food! Honey, V of BTS loves our meals!” She shouted out to her husband as she slapped his arm in excitement. Harabeoji also bounced in giddy at a celebrity in their restaurant.

Ugh, now the whole restaurant staff knew him and is going googoogaga at the idol.

“And ___ knew V from when they were younger.” Kenji didn’t need to add that in but he did anyways. You snapped your head back at your coworker and were about to protest but Halmeoni interjected.

“___, how come you never told us?” Your lady boss whined, almost as if she was scolding you. 

Again, you wanted to vocal yourself out but someone interrupted. “Halmeoni, we actually haven’t seen each other in years, so coming here the other night was the first in a while,” Taehyung explained politely.

Halmeoni laughed in delight as she clapped, “Must have been exciting to see him again, right ___?”

You refused to answer that specifically so you merely shrugged. “Would be nice, but he seems fine with all his nice famous friends.” You thought it was a good time to get up and bus the table, so you did and let them continue the conversation without you. Taehyung knew what you were doing, but wasn’t able to acknowledge it as your boss spoke again.

“It’s so exciting to meet a celebrity! You work so hard, son.” She praised the idol. Though she meant no harm and he didn’t take it with heart, he was a bit vexed. He was indeed an idol and all, but he hated being seen like this in public. 

“Halmeoni, if you do help me, please don’t tell anyone else about me.” Taehyung requested. “I like to be kept hidden in certain situations like this and please, just call me Taehyung.”

You eyed him out when he wasn’t looking. Maybe it was protocol for him since he was alone. At least he was polite enough to tell them because you could tell that him hearing “V” or “BTS” was bothersome.

“Got it, we’re sorry!” Harabeoji apologized on their behalf.

“No, no. It’s fine.” The idol chuckled forcibly to lighten the mood. “Just a special request. I’d love to come again if no one else disturbs me.”

They all nodded in agreement while you collected the empty plates. While doing so, Taehyung started helping you with it. You glared at him, touching your work. Feeling your anger, he said, “Don’t worry, it’s the least I can do for everything.”

“Sweet boy.” Your lady boss cooed at your helping hand.

“Great work, Hyung.” Kenji gave a thumbs up to the idol, feeling like it was only fair to call him that before the younger walked away from the scene. Taehyung didn’t seem to mind, but that’s only because he was too focused on you, wanting to be near you.

When everyone else left to go do whatever, you piled the dishes up and headed down to the kitchen. But not without Taehyung tailing you behind like a little duckling. You barely acknowledged him when you heard the swing door open twice, realizing he was following the entire time. You placed the dirty dishes into the sink for Kenji to do and Taehyung does the same.

You checked the time from the kitchen clock, discovering that it was closing time. So you brushed passed Taehyung to grab a rag and the mop and bucket to clean up for the day. As you wiped down the used table, you heard the bucket roll. You pivoted your head and saw Taehyung starting to mop for you.

Your right eye twitched at the sight before aggressively informing, “You know you can leave right?”

Taehyung’s eyes went from the floor to your blank expression. He gripped the handle, trying to ease himself from nervousness. You made him agitated with everything he has been doing. It was mainly the fact that he trusted your word when you were younger all the time and you meant well. He still does, but maybe your words were biased against his.

“Uhh, well…I haven’t paid for the meal yet.” He mentioned as he scratched the back of his neck.

You completely forgot about that, so it was on you. You hummed in response before dropping the rag to head down to the cashier behind the counter. Again, Taehyung came behind and waited in front of the countertop. You pounded the keys to his order before the receipt popped out. You ripped it off before putting it in the checkbook and sliding it to him.

After paying with ease, Taehyung then went back to his previous task—mopping. You grew puzzled as you caught up to him. Before he could even reach the mop, you rolled it away from him and hogged it. “I told you, you can leave.”

“Yeah, I can. But I don’t want to.” He countered. He reached out for the mop but you pulled back further. He sighed before he paced towards the rag you dropped on the table to continue to help clean up.

“No! Fucking leave!” You demanded, but he wasn’t listening as he went on wiping the tables. “Hey!”

“Just give up, ___!” Kenji called out from the kitchen, watching his entertainment come up. “We are short staff anyway!”

“What do you mean? For a small restaurant, we just need two! Even Halmeoni said she doesn’t want anymore because she couldn’t even pay no more than us!” You spat back, gaining another headache for the night.

“True, but leave it alone!” Your coworker defended. “Plus free labor!”

“I agree!” Halmeoni butted it, agreeing with her grandson.

You pouted furiously, knowing you were losing. Your temper was through the roof being in the presence of him. Though his face was contented and not in an arrogant way, you were irritated at his kindness.

Nevertheless, you went back to your duties as fast and efficiently as possible to shorten your time here. Taehyung was done way before you and even stacked the chairs on the table for you to mop through. You didn’t thank him but nodded in acknowledgment as he followed where you were mopping to put them up. You did complain that he went over the mopped areas to which he apologized but that was it.

You were finally done for the night, yet Taehyung was still here. You hung your apron on the rack as you bid your farewells to your bosses and Kenji. But when you tried doing so, everyone’s attention went towards the idol as they thanked him for his help and gave more sides and dishes to him as a gift.

you were being ignored, so you decided to leave. You were tired enough as is being awake since the early morning. It’s whatever. Clutching your bag, you sped out of the restaurant and breathed in the outside.

The air wasn’t as fresh but at least it wasn’t suffocating you like the inside. You had a minor migraine from this whole week and you mentally cried that you weren’t going to sleep right away. It was fine. The day was almost over and you could rest once get home.

“___!”

The day wasn’t over yet.

Not wanting to deal with him, you began walking your route to the bus stop. Unfortunately for you, the sounds of fast footsteps pitter-pattered behind. You tried to accelerate but due to his size and long legs, he was able to curve in front of you, halting your movement before you could even bump into him.

“___! Please let’s talk.”

“I’m going home.” You informed and you stepped to the side, but Taehyung seemed like a psychic when he knew which direction you were going. “Leav—”

“How are you, ___? It’s been a while.” Taehyung sincerely wondered as he looked down at you. You never realized how tall he has gotten, but that didn’t matter right now. 

You grind on your teeth with your lips trembling in rage. Was he seriously going to ask you that despite the very last time you genuinely talked to him? You were so frustrated that you asked, “Why are you even here? Aren’t you gonna get into trouble wandering around the streets alone without your army of bodyguards, Mr. Big Shot?”

You spoke so wicked, it was unlike the best friend he had. You were upset with him, yet he did no harm right now.

“We have a break from our group, so no, and I don’t have bodyguards all the time, I don’t wanna talk about that right now,” Taehyung responded carefully and soundly, in contrast to your wrath. “___, I wanted to see you again.”

You laughed incredulously with a touch of ache in your heart. You almost believed him, but then you reminded yourself. “For someone who told me otherwise, it seems a bit much, isn’t it?”

The idol gulped, feeling the guilt consuming him. “I—“

“Save it, Taehyung. We met coincidentally. I didn’t expect to see you anywhere near here but it happened. But we should leave it like that. Goodbye.” You nudged your shoulder through him as you passed by, but he clasped your arm in desperation. 

“B-Blue.”

Your pupils dilated at the sudden use of the childhood nickname he used to call you. The sound of the name coming out of his mouth used to be music to your ears. It brought up unwanted cherished memories that were now in vain. The nickname triggered you, and you fought back the tears that threatened to escape. “Do not fucking call me that!” You tugged back your arm once you finally met his devastated expression. “Leave it as is!”

“But…I don’t wanna leave it like this!” Taehyung raised his voice, attempting to emphasize his begging.

“Well, I want to! Now go to your many friends who are wayyyyy better.” You hurled back. “Go focus on your rich famous lifestyle with your fucking designer brands and leave me alone!”

“___, please don’t be like this.” The idol begged as he stretched out to hold your arm, but you stepped back, refusing to let him touch you.

“Why not?” You yelled. “It’s been almost ten years since you’ve last spoken to me. You don’t know what happened, what I went through, and who I am now. At that time, nothing between me and you. You have your members, fans, friends, family, and your dog.” You pattered as you listed things that he wasn’t expecting you to know, like his dog that he got way after you. Maybe you did know things, yet there were still things he knew nothing about you. “You don’t need me in it and I don’t need you either.”

You decided to end it from there, so you turned your heel and walked your path. When you were at a distance, you heard his gentle voice call out to you. “What if I need you now?” The slight crack in the sound grabbed your attention. You looked over your shoulder and peered at him, seeing tears were now falling down his face.

“What?” Your tone was more tender, as the way, he looked brought a betrayed concern in you, though you still held your angry face.

“I always needed you, but what if I really need you now?” He sniffled as he stepped hesitantly towards you. You weren’t moving away, so he assumed you let him come your way. He wiped the tears away with his hoodie sleeve. “I’m hurting, ___, a-and I don’t know how to deal with it. What if I need you now?”

You sighed, “Taehyung—“

“It’s Hyungie, remember? You’re the first and only one who called me that nickname.” He shook his head. He hated the distance you kept on, it didn't feel right. “Hyungie and Blue!” 

“No!” You protested, trying to stand your ground. “Just because you’re going through some shit now should not make me suffice you for what you did.” You controlled your shaking breath, forcing yourself not to cry in front of him, and it was probably one of the hardest things to do. “You never considered how hurt I was when I lost you in my life, and for good. I lost my best friend that day, the only one that I could truly be myself with, the one who got me out of my shell, the one who made me smile, the one I loved.” You spoke honestly and wholeheartedly while also keeping certain things out because you knew you’d break in front of him. It was for the best anyway. 

You explained further, getting most of your years of reflection out. “It was hard, starting all over. Trusting people is harder to get and receive, but it got better over time.” You semi-lied. You had friends here and there, but never consistent. You never had someone else like Taehyung. As much as it pained you to say, there was none like the friendship and love he had for you. “I was able to move on from all of that, and so can you.” You told him while you watched more tears streak down his reddened cheeks. “The person you need isn’t me now, so if you’re trying to find her, I can’t help you.”

He exhaled, trying his best not to cry so much in front of you. But his emotions got the better of him. “I admit I was an asshole for hurting you and I’ve always regretted it. But when I say I need you now, I want a friendship with you again. Past you, current you, future you, I don’t care! I want to make up for all that we’ve missed!”

“No.” You answered.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“That’s not a good reason.”

“Why do I need a good reason?” You scoffed, refusing to be swayed. “What happened in the past…”

“I know you don’t like our previous friendship, but why not like one with me now?” He suggested, but you still weren’t moved. Your demeanor remained hard and impenetrable.

“Taehyung, I wanted a friendship with you—I loved our friendship, but you blew it!” You complained as you pinched the bridge of your nose. He wasn’t getting you whatsoever. Was this really someone who you deemed as important in your life? Okay, that was a bit harsh. You didn’t like that. “What makes you think I want one now, knowing what happened before?”

“Like what you said, you’re different and I’m also different too! Please give me a chance.” He reasoned with a plea. He grabbed your shoulders and somehow you let him as your piercing gaze met his glassy eyes. “Please. You can’t punish me for what I did years back. I was stupid and childish!”

“You still are,” You whispered. “And you can’t tell me what to do, so I can. I will punish you for the shit you’ve done to me!”

“Jesus fuck, I forgot how stubborn you are.” He groaned, jaw clenching in irateness. But refused to let it get to him. 

You unexpectedly grabbed his forearms in a gentle matter, surprising him with how you were being. But he thought about it too soon when you hauled his hands away for you even pinching it. He winced in pain, rubbing the sore areas when you spat out. “I’m never giving you a chance.”

He shook his head in denial. “Blue—“

“I will not change my mind. I hate you! Go fuck yourself, Kim Taehyung.” You barked as you felt your cheeks heating up in fury. “Have a nice life.”

With that, you finally left him be. You refused to give in. You didn’t spare a glance back no matter how many times he called you and your nickname. It hurt, but it had to be done. You knew he sobbed as you walked away. But little did he know, on the bus ride home, you too wept your heart out, seeing how broken you both were.

A/N: I understand how stubborn oc is but there’s always a reason. There’s still more to the plot that have yet to be released 🫡 Please let me know any feedback. Your comments are greatly appreciated <3

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter IV: Everything We Didn't Say

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: This is a big one lol, heavy ANGST, flashbacks (including fighting you’re about to see how their friendship ended and guess who fucks up, crying, insecurities (self and relationship), mentions of the deceased, minor character death in the past), unhealthy life habits (a/n: pls don’t do this to yourself! Take care of your body/self-care)

Word Count: 17.5k

A/N: I would also like to point out that the story's first half is about understanding their relationship and gradually their individual lives. It goes back and forth between the past and present. Specific timeframes (like Taehyung as a trainee) will be mentioned but not all. As time goes on, things will start to unravel. BTW: when I say football, I mean soccer lol

Chapter IV: Everything We Didn't Say || Series Masterlist

You paced back and forth on the front porch as you played with your fingers to calm yourself. The clouds covered the cerulean sky and bright heating sun on a cooling fall weekend afternoon. Leaves shifted to their rustic tones, hardening to a crisp. Some tried their best to stick onto the trees while others fell elegantly, being done for the season.

As for you, you dressed extra special today and saved up some money for it as well. A brown oversized sweater over a muted green linen maxi dress paired with your old dirty pair of black shoes. You saved enough for the outfit but not the shoes. Your hair was half up, held by a scrunch that was the same color as your dress.

Though in one of your best attires yet, you waited anxiously for your grandparents to be ready. Well, they were already ready to go for the day but what was missing was Taehyung.

You’ve been waiting for almost an hour and called and texted him countless times, but he had yet to answer you. You told him months in advance, weeks, days, and literally hours before, and he still wasn’t here.

“Sweets, we have to go. We’re gonna be late.” Your grandmother informed as she saw your distressed state. Your lips were in between your teeth, not wanting to give up faith in your best friend. You blinked towards your grandmother as she could only smile empathetically.

“We have a long drive, ___.” Your grandfather came out of the house and locked the door.

You checked the time on your phone, an hour over the scheduled time. You sighed as you glanced over at the Kim residence, seeing no one was home. You frowned as you felt the tears attempting to come out. He was supposed to be there with you.

You nodded to your grandparents as you all walked towards the car. You and your grandfather loaded the back with baskets of food, a picnic blanket, flowers, and candles. Once you closed the trunk, you called Taehyung once more to which no avail so you ultimately accepted that he wasn’t coming.

Your family drove off the property and left Geochang for the time being as your destination was the Daegu City Cemetery where you spent almost the entire day there.

By the time you were back home in Geochang, it was already late in the night, ten at night to be exact and that was past your grandparents’ bedtime. All of you were tired from the day trip, more so you. You kept crying the ride too when you were at the cemetery and the ride from. It was a miracle you didn’t cry during dinner, but you showed you were upset.

Your grandparents—blessed their hearts—tried their best to cheer you up but it was rather difficult with a day like today and your best friend not being there with you. So they let you be and comforted you here and there.

As you unloaded the car, you heard footsteps pressing into the gravel and coming your way. You didn’t bother looking since you knew who it was and finally decided to show up.

“Blue!” Taehyung greeted you with a hug and a kiss on your head. Though this behavior was typical, it left a sour taste right now and you didn’t like it. Instead of hugging back, you pushed him away which surprised the boy. You glared at him before heading to your front door with the basket in your hands.

Your grandfather opened the door for you to come inside but Taehyung gripped your armand held you back. You tried tugging your limb, but he wasn’t budging. “Blue, what’s wrong?” He questioned. Confusion grew in his expression, not aware of why you were being like this to him.

“Nothing’s wrong, Taehyung.”

“Okay, something’s definitely wrong.” He disagreed, shaking his head. “You always call me Hyungie. Tae, when you’re annoyed or irritated. Taehyung, when you’re pissed at me.” You loved how much he knew you, but hated how much he knew you. 

You huffed as you gripped the basket. Your grandfather came next to you and took what you held in his hands. “I’ll bring these in, ___. Talk to Tae, okay?”

You scrunched your nose in displeasing, seeing how your grandfather had a soft spot for your best friend. He wanted you to talk it out, and you will but you’re just angry with Taehyung.

When your grandfather went inside and closed the door, you crossed your arms and leaned into one leg. “Where were you today?” You snapped, interrogating him right off the bat.

“No need for the attitude, Blue.” He mumbled, hating how you scolded him. “I went to the beach party!”

Your eyes widened in disbelief. “W-what?”

“Yeah, you know the second-year Lee Jungjae, our sunbae?” Your best friend mentioned. You didn’t know who he was, because you couldn’t keep up with Taehyung’s gazillion friends. “Well, he personally invited me to his birthday beach party. I had to sleep over at his house because we had to take the bus all the way to Pohang. It was tiring but so fun, like—”

“So you just went without me? Without me knowing?” You grilled him, your temper slowly thinning the more he spoke.

“I mentioned it to you the other day…” He reasoned, trying to defend himself. “But Jungjae Hyung didn’t say to bring guests because of the trip. I’m sorry—”

“I don’t care about the stupid beach party, Taehyung!” You yelled. Your cheeks burned hot with the frustration that built up and was ready to explode. “I don’t care about your sunbae, or the fucking trip, or how much you had fun!”

“___, why are you so mad? It’s not like you were sitting at home doing nothing. When I came back, Halmeoni said your family was gon—”

“Taehyung, we went to the cemetery in Daegu.” You interjected, your voice softened at the end of your sentence. “It was my parents’ tenth death anniversary.”

Then Taehyung’s confused and offended face morphed into the eye-opening realization that he fucked up. “That was today? Blue, I for—”

“I’m upset with you.” You told him. “You knew how important it was for you to be there.”

Due to the distance, time, and financial obligations, it was difficult to schedule a time to go visit your parents every year. Your grandparents had their shop and farm to manage and you were still in school as well as your grandmother had health concerns from time to time. The only thing you could do was put up a photo frame of your parents on the top of your dresser. 

As it was close to their ten years, you begged your grandparents to go to Daegu where they were buried. Reason being that it has been a long time and you would love to see them. Though they grew older and weaker by the second, of course, they did their part in making it happen. While doing so, you asked Taehyung to be there for you.

Since they died when you were so young, you had little memories of them. But with all you could remember, you told the stories to your best friend. You knew your parents would have loved Taehyung and he would love them. That’s why you asked Taehyung to come, not only for you and your support but for him to meet your parents for the first time and talk to them as if they were here.

Taehyung was stoked about the days coming to today, so it disappointed you when he said he has forgotten. But what hurts the most was that he chose his other friends over you.

Over time, this has been an issue between you two that was rather conflicting on your end. Though you knew how sociable Taehyung was from the second you met him, it made you jealous to see him hanging out with others. Of course, he always included you, but you knew at times, that you weren’t as welcomed.

You overheard peers whispering and murmuring why someone like Taehyung hung out with someone like you, quiet, awkward, and nervous. Some girls even tried to be your friend to get closer to Taehyung. That led to you confronting him about it and letting him have fun with his friends by himself. You reassured him that it was okay with you as you had his siblings to hang out with. It was a chance for Taehyung to reach his social butterfly status while you thrived with being a hermit. You certainly didn’t mind, but you envy those around Taehyung who were able to interact so easily.

Recently, he has been spending more time with older students after joining the football team. He has gotten popular when he went into high school. You were still in your last year of middle school as you were the same age as his sister. You loved how well he fitted into the crowd, but it felt like he left you behind and didn’t want to hang out with a recluse like you. You were considered a “kid.” You gradually became insecure about your friendship with him, worrying if you were meant to be his true best friend. You were so sensitive about it, so this stung way more than anticipated. That was something you never told him.

“I’m sorry, ___. I really am, I…” He apologized, but it didn’t work when he saw your eyes swell into tears and your chest bounce once you cried. “Blue, nooo.” He was utterly guilty, he wanted to embrace you and give you comfort but you rejected his touch.

“I-I w-wanted you there!” You wept with your palms covering your face. “I called you, texted you, and you didn’t answer.”

“Blue, please let me make it up.” He pleaded, making the chance to clutch onto your wrists and pull them away to see your teary face. He felt so ashamed that he was the reason you were crying. “Please, don’t cry. I’m sorry.” He replicated the tears you produced.

You shook your head as you wiped your face with your sweater. You brought back your wrists to your frame, gesturing that you didn’t want him to touch you. “I don’t want to see you right now. You hurt me today, I can’t.”

“___, no, please. I’m sorry.” He refused, not wanting your demand. You’ve never said that to him. Though he bugged the shit out of you almost every day, you always wanted to see him. He couldn’t live without seeing you or being with you. He didn’t want to leave you hurt by him like this, he never meant to harm you. “Don’t do this, Blue.”

“I just need some time away from you.” You responded briefly.

“But—”

“Don’t make me madder than I already am!” You shouted crudely. “Now back to your fucking friends that you love oh so much and just forget about me!” Word vomit spewed out your mouth without intention. There was so much that angered, saddened, and overall tired you, you couldn’t help it.

Both of your eyes grew at what you said. You merely inhaled sharply while Taehyung shook his head in denial. There was no way he could forget about you.

“Blue, I’ll neve—”

You didn’t let him finish his sentence as you scurried to the entrance and closed and locked the door from behind. You heard Taehyung trying to follow you in, but he was too late to catch you.

He knocked constantly on the door. “Blue, ___, please. Don’t do this. I’m sorry! I fucked up, but I’ll never forget you. You’re my best friend, my Blue! Please I’m sorry. I’ll make it up!” He sobbed through behind the doorway. You stayed silent, crying and waiting for him to leave first but he kept pounding and professing his apologies and regrets. But they still weren’t enough for you.

This was the biggest fight yet.

“Tae!” Hoseok snapped his fingers in front of his younger member. Taehyung shook his head and blinked hard before scanning his eyes at his alarmed members.

After being separated for some time, Jimin and Namjoon thought it was a good idea to have a little lunch get-together to catch up with each of us. Hoseok released his solo album in the past month, striking many records. Yoongi has been busy with collaborations with other artists. Namjoon got back from a European trip. Jungkook has been going back and forth to the United States for recordings. Seokjin made appearances on various cooking shows. Finally, Jimin came back from Busan after resting with his family before going back into the studio. 

All in all, the guys were doing well with the pause and shift in career focus. Well, not all. Though Taehyung looked forward to the lunch, he knew that his updates were mainly him and his therapy because right off the bat, Yoongi insisted on knowing the progress.

Taehyung was lucky enough that the set-up happened the day after his session, so he bullshited whatever was said that time and nothing more. This week wasn’t any better, unlike the previous ones. The idol refused to speak out as much and stayed in silence with Dr. Im until the time was over. It was unsettling with improvements because Taehyung couldn’t care less right now.

Both his members and his therapist meant no harm in his life, but couldn’t help but feel bothered. They cared enough to help the idol, but was it really enough for him to live by? Almost every question asked patronized him and his actions rather than explaining why or how it is.

Like yesterday, maybe it was all in Taehyung’s head, Dr. Im wondered what has been happening with him in the past two weeks to have a sudden shift in his behavior in therapy. While the idol said nothing, Dr. Im claimed further if someone or something occurred that changed your life. Perhaps it was because the professional knew what was happening even without context, and it ticked the idol off and decided to end the session twenty minutes early. Again, Dr. Im was just doing his job.

However, his members… were a piece of work with him. They wanted every detail and what he did after, then they would comment on it and tell him what he should do. That was how the cycle went and suddenly Taehyung wished he never came to the lunch and never seen them a little longer. 

“Are you good, bud?” Hoseok asked once more. “You seem out of it.”

“Something happened?” Yoongi questioned. “If something did and you’re not tel—”

“No, I can’t say if I’m good when I’m going to therapy now, isn’t it?” Taehyung interjected passive-aggressively. 

The slight comment shifted the aura of the lunch. Things were still rocky from the last time, being the same members talking—Taehyung, Yoongi, and Namjoon, but the older members thought to live passed that and be grateful to see their younger again. But by the look on the older’s face, Yoongi was about to call him out.

“What Tae means is that…” Jimin intervened to ease the tension before it erupted. “You’ve been awfully quiet since we’ve sat. You barely even ate.”

It was always Jimin coming to the rescue to protect his friend. Couldn’t blame the dude, that was his ride or die. He was the most patient when it came to Taehyung and his actions, was always there for him, gentle towards him, and was an overall caring best friend.

Taehyung was appreciative, but there were times when it was a bit overbearing like he couldn’t take care of or defend himself. It made Taehyung feel useless and pitiful, which irked him.

“Umm,” Taehyung sighed, poking his chopsticks and the cold cooked meat sitting on his plate. “It’s nothing bad, but just in my mind.”

“Something happened between you and Clara?” Seokjin asked, which brought a disturbingly positive shift into the group’s mood apart from Taehyung. “Haven’t heard about her in a while. You two doing good?”

Taehyung deathly wanted to scowl in revulsion at how much the boys loved her. After all, they were the ones who talked him into asking her out on a date in the first place. They endeared her so much that they thought that she was really a pillar in Taehyung’s life and helping him better himself.

Taehyung hummed noncommittally and shrugged, “Same old. She’s just been busy with work and online presence while I’m…not. She understands though, I guess.”

“Tell her we said hi!” Namjoon smiled. “Hope we can see her again soon.”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure to tell her.” Taehyung was most likely sure that he wouldn’t send back the thanks. She recently was getting on his nerves for being so quiet these past weeks and not texting right away. The idol reassured her that he was tired and focused on his solo project, but he knew that there was more to it.

“Then what’s the matter, Hyung?” Jungkook cocked an eyebrow as he chewed.

Taehyung had to think about how to approach this. He didn’t necessarily tell anyone what happened between you two, recently that is. Before they debuted, Taehyung was sure that they remembered you or some bits. They also knew what happened that ended your friendship since it happened weeks before their debut and Taehyung was somewhat of a mess. They haven’t met you, but they knew how much you meant to him.

But that was before.

His therapist had speculations but came out empty-handed so far. Seojoon and Wooshik tried to get some information out of the idol on you, but Taehyung was a hard shell to crack. They needed the electric saw or metal-cutting machine to know exactly who you were.

So no one knew you were back, physically, in his mind, thoughts, memories, and emotions.

But then he pondered for a while. He has been sulking and distraught over this alone, yet he had much support around him asking what was going on. It was truly the work of his stubbornness. The reason was unknown, or difficult for his brain to comprehend.

Maybe because he simply wanted to have you back on his own. Maybe his selfishness to know you and no one else does. Maybe his overthinking thoughts of anxiousness about how others would react to finding out who you were and what happened. Maybe all?

At this point, reasonably the best thing to do was tell someone. After what you said to him a couple of weeks ago that led him into his emotional downward spiral, he hated feeling hopeless and scared. He didn’t want you to see him in that light, fearful of the stinging burn that could keep you away forever. The words he spoke to you may have not been the best way to say—you were always scolding him on stuff like that—you knew deep down he meant well.

But you were rather difficult, another trait he remembered when you got mad or upset. You tended to say things you don’t mean while also distancing yourself.

Ypu can say Taehyung needed some help with you?

“Do you remember ___?” Taehyung began, which lead to many confused expressions around the table.

“Who?” Hoseok questioned, nothing popping up in his head as he sipped his drink.

“Uhhh, the name sounds familiar?” Namjoon responded while in his thoughts. “Can you explain more?”

“___ ___, my best friend back home,” Taehyung mentioned, but yet there was no ringing in their minds. “I’m sure you all remember her. I used to call her every single night ever since I came to Seoul.”

Jimin’s face lit up as he snapped his fingers in his realization. “Ahh, ___! It was so hard to remember her name because you always called her Bl—”

“You can’t say that name, only I can.” Taehyung squinted his eyes at his best friend. Though Jimin smirked cheekily, for a second, he questioned Taehyung’s reaction.

“Ohhh, ___! Yeah, I remember now.” Seokjin gasped, and the gears in his brain started moving. “I used to get pissed off at the both of you for keeping me awake.”

“Oh, yeah! With all the calls.” Hoseok nodded, remembering as well. “Your giggling and whining still haunt my sleep.” He joked with a playful glare at Taehyung, making the younger shrug.

“Yeah…name with no face. It’s been a while since we heard her name.” Jungkook stated. “Why’d you bring her up?”

Taehyung tapped his fingers on the table, picturing the first time he saw you again. “I met her again couple weeks back. She’s in Seoul now.”

Seokjin hummed in response, “Really? Interesting. Who knew?”

“Not me,” Taehyung muttered with a light forced chuckle.

“Yeah, didn’t you tell us you had a falling out before? I remembered it pre-debut.” Hoseok heard Taehyung’s comment and spoke up about it. “I assume the reunion wasn’t all on purpose.”

Taehyung licked his lips and nodded, “It was random. She works at a small restaurant in a sketchy part of Seoul, but it’s really good. I went with Seojoon Hyung and Wooshik Hyung. We should go sometimes.” When he said, he hoped they took that suggestion lightly but he knew Jimin and Jungkook would be down. “I found out she’s going to school in the city, she’s in a grad program, she didn’t tell me what though. Actually, these were her responses to my Hyungs. The whole time she didn’t even talk to me, practically never looked my way no matter how much I tried.”

It was at that moment, everyone knew they couldn’t blame you. The rest of the members didn’t know who you were deeply, but they felt for you and you seemed nice, judging by the very few interactions you had with them over the phone. What Taehyung did was hurtful and cruel even from an outsider’s perspective. They all knew it from experience. 

“Can’t blame her…” Namjoon said what everyone thought about.

Taehyung’s eye twitched. He didn’t need to say it out loud. “Yeah, I went back again, but alone that time, and she basically told me to go fuck myself.”

“Sorry, Tae.” Jimin frowned, patting his best friend’s back.

“Well, did she even want you there in the first place?” Yoongi inquired, but that made Seokjin glare at his younger for being harsh. “What? I’m being honest after what happ—”

“Please, don’t mention it, Hyung.” His words damaged Taehyung’s emotions, and he scrunched his face as the brutal memory replayed in his mind. Yoongi did not apologize, but he managed to shut up. “It was just nice seeing her again, an old face—a familiar face, a good memory.” You were always the best memory.

“I’m sure it was. It’s been a while since you’ve seen her.” Hoseok acknowledged.

“But then again, you should know the feeling isn’t mutual, Tae.” Namjoon pointed out, trying to get Taehyung to think realistically. “It seems she’s not over it and you know what you did.”

“I know, but…” Taehyung didn’t know how to express his thoughts in words. He was blanking out despite his mind running 200 km per hour. “With how shitty my life’s been going, even if she hates my fucking guts, I actually enjoy her presence. She’s my best friend! I’d want to rekindle what we had.”

The way Taehyung explained it made Jungkook have concerning thoughts. He seemed more expressive with you than his own girlfriend. “You should probably be careful, Hyung.” Taehyung cocked his head to the side to face the youngest. “I—I’m not saying Clara’s the jealous type, but….”

“What does she have to do with ___?” Scoffing at the youngest member, he eyed him out with hostility. Taehyung felt a sudden sense of protection over you.

“Don’t be like that, please?” Jungkook frowned, not wanting to get on his older friend’s bad side. “What I’m saying is that it sounds like you’re over here talking about some other chick and wanting her back when you clearly have a girlfriend.”

“She’s not some girl. She’s been my best friend for literally twenty years! More than all of you!”

“Not really, if you didn’t see each other in years…” Namjoon commented which made Taehyung clench his jaw but say nothing.

Taehyung closed his eyes and controlled his breathing while balling his anger into his fist. “What was your point, Jungkook?”

“Well, does Clara know about ___?” Jungkook asked sincerely. “If ___ meant something to you, then you should have told your girlfriend about her.”

Taehyung bit his lip while processing the question. He then shook his head before drinking his soda. “No, because I met Clara way after my falling out with ___. I didn’t think it mattered.” There was no way in hell, he’d tell Clara about you. There was more to the explanation, but Taehyung was currently unaware of why it was like that. 

“It kinda does matter now, especially when you want ___ back in your life.” Jimin reasoned as he stared at his best friend. “We can support you, but just be cautious.”

“It’s just…I—let’s not talk about that right now. I should have never told you guys.” Taehyung regretted his decision in revealing you. He knew that nothing went the way he wanted it to and didn’t like what was said. 

Hoseok pouted, reaching out to squeeze Taehyung’s hand. “No, don’t say that. We appreciate you telling us! We’re just worried about you and Clara. If ___ comes back, then you’d obviously have to tell her.”

“Just don’t fuck up with it,” Yoongi concluded bluntly. “You’ve been with Clara for five years and still going strong. If ___ isn’t back, then leave it. It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s not worth losing your relationship.”

What did Yoongi know about relationships? He was severely single. And what did he know about Taehyung’s relationship? Nothing, that’s what. None of them knew yet pulled shit out of their ass and spoke highly of his girlfriend. However, when it came to you, they treated you like some side character reprising an insignificant role. But you were never like that. You will never be.

“The point I’m telling you is that I met ___,” Taehyung replied, wanting this discussion to be over immediately. “And for the record, I’ve decided something.”

“Which is?” Seokjin asked.

Taehyung looked down at his plate, mindlessly glazing at the untouched noodles. He smirked as a memory came up. “There’s a reason why we were best friends.”

-

“Yes, I understand. I’ll pay the other half at the end of the month, please.” You nodded as you spoke into your phone. “I just need time.”

“___, you know you don’t need to do this all on your own. I’m sure your other relatives can help,” The nurse on the other side replied. “I’ve talked to your cousin and she sa—”

“It’s fine, I promise.” You quickly denied. “This responsibility landed on me and I fully accept it.”

He sighed into the microphone, “So strong as always, ___. It’s okay to rely on others.”

“Maybe.” You said, brushing what was said off. “I need to go now, I’m off my break soon. But don’t tell him, okay?”

“I’m sure he knows—”

“Please, Moobin.” You begged, feeling slightly uneasy. You didn’t want him to be worrying about you, especially with this.

“Okay, fine. I won’t.” Moobin answered, succumbing to your request. “Lucky for you, telling him would only worsen the condition.”

“It’s still not good either way, but thank you.” Appreciating his efforts, you nodded as you looked at the time. “Okay, I have to go but keep me updated.” You said before bidding goodbye to the nurse and hanging up.

You exhaled in distress, but surely, it wasn’t enough for you. You calculated what had to be done and now you needed to work at least ten more hours this cycle. Though the weekends were your day offs to catch up on school work, you might have to work them to get by without any burden. Ugh, your migraine was coming back up.

You swiftly grabbed a can of Coca-Cola and opened it before chugging the liquid down. Hopefully, it would help lessen the pain. So much to do with very little time.

“You know you have to pay for that.” You turned your head to see Kenji coming by to use the cash register. You nodded as you sipped more of the content. As he punched in the order, he glanced over and inspected the drink. “___, you okay? You never have coke unless something happens.”

“The way you know that sure is expected of you.” You huffed, not bothering to care any further. “Just had another chat with the nurse back home.”

“Is he alright?” Your coworker asked.

You hummed as a reply, “For now, but it was about the payments…do you think Halmeoni be okay if I work the weekends too?”

“___, if you need the money, I’ll be happy to lend yo—”

“No.” You interrupted him. “I can’t ask you to do that, I just want to work a little more.”

Kenji frowned as the register door opened before ripping the receipt. “You’re already working more than usual and you drinking coke to reduce your headache means you’re overworking yourself.”

“Ken, I’m fine.” You scoffed. You gulped down all of what was left in the can before recycling it into a bin. “I just needed a boost. But I do wanna work more.”

“___…” He looked at you and you had a face of determination. There was no way in reasoning with you. “Ask her. She won’t be too pleased, but if you tell her about it, maybe she’ll accept…or give you a bon—”

“No, I need to work for it.”

Kenji rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Sometimes just get the free opportunities.”

“Sometimes every opportunity is a blow to your fucking face.” You sighed as you grabbed a tray.

You then spotted Halmeoni coming down the hallway with a box of napkins. Gripping the tray in your fingers, you went towards her and grabbed the box from her. “I’ll get that for you.” You offered. You settled them behind the counter and under the table where all the extra supplies stayed. 

“Sweetie, you don’t need to carry it. I’m still strong!” Your boss laughed but appreciated your kindness.

“Just trying to make your day easier.” You said authentically before clearing your throat. “Ummm, Halmeoni?”

“Yes, dear?”

“I—Is it possible if I can work the weekends?”

Halmeoni sulked, “Why is it? Something ha—”

“Uhh, no, no, well…I have some more time on my hands. I don’t have projects coming up, so I’m not really doing much at home.” She knew your situation, but if you told her, she wouldn’t want you to work as much either.

She squinted her eyes with suspicion. “Everything going on back in Geochang?”

You nodded, “Nurse said he’s doing well for now, but I just want to work a little bit.”

She knew you were headstrong, not wanting to say anything. She would have to ask Kenji, but even so, she wouldn’t acknowledge it and play dumb with you. “Sure, okay, sweetie. Just tell me what hours later.”

You sighed in relief and nodded excitedly. “Thank you, I appreciate you and Harabeoji. I guess Kenji too.”

“I heard that!” Kenji whined, making you and your boss chuckle. 

“Just…don’t stress too much, okay? We’re here if you need anything.” She meant it with sincerity in her expression. She cared for you like you were her own, and it twisted your heart from the thought. You knew she meant well, but it was all too much to offer for someone like you. You only nodded as she patted your head.

Right after, the tarp entrance flicked open, catching the attention of your boss with widened pupils and a gasp. “Ahh, Taehyung, you’re back! And you brought newcomers.”

You groaned softly, closing your eyes as if it would relax you but it doesn’t. You desperately wanted to dropkick someone and that someone was the very individual who entered the restaurant. You directed your eyes to his stature as you watched him wave and greet your boss, coworker, and then you. Though he greeted you back, you said nothing. 

Of course, he didn’t listen. That was why you were best friends in the past. You can’t deny that the both of you had a lot in common yet still different. But one of the biggest commonalities was being stubborn as fuck and not listening to what anyone had to say. With that being said, it was inevitable that Taehyung would not give up even after you shunned him away.

As you scowled, you became aware of the two men. One on each side of the idol. Their eyes wandered around your workplace, somewhat fascinated by how clean it was in contrast to the dirty outside. As you looked at them, you immediately knew who they were—two of his bandmates, specifically Jimin and Jungkook.

Though your friendship with Taehyung was a bust weeks before his debut, you couldn’t help but support or somewhat follow what the group did. You knew the amount of work that had been made and you appreciated it. You pushed your thoughts and feelings away from that certain member and enjoyed the band and its schedule. You guess you can say you were a fan, but not fully. At least there were six other members to distract you from your ex-best friend. Plus, you didn’t need to tell Taehyung that.

“Ahh, Hyung-nim!” Kenji yelled, earning a smile from the idol. Since when did he get close to Taehyung?

“Halmeoni, it’s nice to see you again!” Taehyung spoke out. “These are some of my friends, Jimin and Jungkook.” The two with him waved at your boss.

“My, my. You always bring handsome friends.” Your boss clapped. “Please sit!” She motioned them to take any seat as it was a slow weekday night. As they settled down, she nudged you and said, “Go help them. They’re handsome.”

“No, please. Let Kenji help them.” You suggested.

Kenji gasped and shook his head, “Why do I have to serve them?”

You gloomed at your coworker’s audacity, “What, isn’t it fine since he’s your Hyung-nim?” He saw how serious you were and didn’t want to experience your wrath, so he puffed and walked toward the well-known idols. Kenji eased his way into the men’s conversation, seeing that their laughter echoed throughout the restaurant.

“___, you should date one of them.” Your boss prompted which made you blink at her. “Maybe Taehyung, he seems to have an e—”

“Halmeoni, I’m busy, remember?” You recalled. “I got all these projects, work—”

“I thought you said you had more time now?” She interrogated you as your jaw dropped faintly but closed it back up.

“Yes, I do…but I’m not thinking about dating right now.’ You peeked over to the side and spoke quietly, “No one wants me.”

Your boss hated what you said about yourself. “Don’t say that, sweetie. You’re gorgeous, a true beauty. Anyone could fall for you. If I could, you’d be dating Kenji by now.”

“Ew, don’t say that. That’s setting me up for ultimate failure.” You grimaced, shivers down your spine. She laughed before walking back to the kitchen. 

Eventually, Kenji came back to the both of you with a fresh set of orders, but he said, “___, please ring these up.” He handed you the sheet of orders.

You retrieved them to read but you asked, “Why do I have to do your orders?”

“It’s not my orders, it’s yours.” He shrugged casually and you shot your head back to give him your death stare.

“What the fuck, why?” You complained. “Ken, you know—”

“No, I don’t know, and you don’t tell me shit.” He refused before sticking his tongue out to you. “They requested for you to serve them.”

“They can’t re—”

“So what? Just do it.” He shrugged. You scrutinized your coworker, trying to declare why he was being so adamant then you realized.

“That fucker paid you to make me serve them.”

“Well, I can’t deny the allegations being brought upon me,” Kenji admitted wholeheartedly. “See, when there’s a 100,000 won thrown at you, you take the chances.”

Your eyes grew at the sound of the heavy stipend for a small ask. “You little shit sold me of—”

“___, it’s not a big deal.” Your coworker reassured you, but you weren’t having it.

“Kenji, it is!” You told him, frowning at him. “I don’t like Taehyung nor do I want to see him.”

“Kinda harsh for him to be your best friend.”

“He’s not.” You clarified. “We haven’t been for ages, and I refused him weeks ago to be back into my life.”

Kenji looked in the distance as if his peanut brain worked like magic, “You tell me this or that but not explain to me why. So unless you do, I’m feeding you off to them.”

You let out a whining sound, “You’re being irrational…”

“Better hurry up. Your table’s waiting for their drinks.”

You wished to never speak about it again, but you were actually being desperate right now. Kenji always begged to know what happened between you and the idol to cause this one-sided hatred, but you never let him have his way until now. You’d rather tell him than serve Taehyung again.

“Ugh, fine.” You surrendered, letting your shoulders droop. But Kenji looked back at you with success on his stupid face. “I’ll tell you more about it later, but I’ll tell you in a quick summary.” You spoke briefly about your past with Taehyung. When you told him, it saddened your mood a little, remembering the emotions and insecurities you had about it. It was damaging for you to say the least, but you pushed it aside to not let it get to you in the middle of your shift.

Once you finished, Kenji nodded as he processed what you said. “So you don’t want to deal with him?” You nodded. “And you don’t care?” You nodded again. “___, it sounds like you do.”

You were baffled and offended. “Really? After what I said??”

“Hey, if you don’t care, then you would have been indifferent toward him.” He argued nonchalantly. “Look at you being riled up by even the thought of him.”

Your eye twitched. Maybe it was your pride, or how the younger provoked you. Maybe both. But either way, you wanted to prove him wrong. “I am indifferent to him.”

“Prove it.” He threw more gas into the fire.

“Fine, you’re fucking annoying and lazy as fuck anyway. I’ll prove you wrong.” You crumpled the paper before opening it back up and punching in the order. But while you were doing so, you realized what he did. You frowned as you stared at a shit-grinning Kenji before you. “You’re full of shit, you know that.”

“Shit that molded into a mastermind.” He winked before parting ways, knowing you lost while he gained.

-

Eventually, you sucked it up and served them. There was no point when your coworker executed some type of reverse psychology on you. You gave him props for that.

However, he did emphasize something. Were you really indifferent toward Taehyung? What was the meaning behind all of that anger and hatred in you? Of course, the way he spoke to you in the past caused you pain, but shouldn’t it be gone by now? People get over it so you should too. It has been almost a decade. You say you don’t care, but why were there so many emotions in you when you see him? What was there to be said? What does being cruel to him lead to? 

You didn’t understand yourself, you couldn’t, especially with all that was going on. Throwing this into your bowl of responsibilities and issues made everything a lot more stressful. There was literally no time for you to be thinking about Taehyung, yet, it was prominent in your mind.

You settled the drinks down, calling out who got what. As you were doing so, Taehyung grinned proudly at you before announcing, “Guys, this is ___, my best friend from Geochang. The one I talked to all the time.”

You so badly wanted to yell that you weren’t his best friend, but you remembered—you needed to be apathetic, so you said nothing. But the heavy scrutiny of gazes from his friends brought agitation and shyness. You couldn’t understand why, but they indeed were handsome in person. You assumed it was because they technically haven’t seen you before. Sure, there were a few greets here and there but that was it. A picture, who knows? You and Taehyung stopped contact before you were able to formally introduce yourself.

Their pupils widened and blinked like goldfish. Jungkook had his mouth slightly apart while Jimin covered his with his fist. You furrowed your eyebrows, questioning if this was a good sign.

Nevertheless, you smiled bashfully. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you too. Uhh, Jungkook and Jimin.” You pointed at the respective person. “I know you both from BTS so…”

Jungkook gulped and cleared his throat. “A—ah, yes. It’s nice to finally meet yo—you’re ___?” He asked for verification. “You’re Bl—”

“JK, I told you not to say it. Only I can.” Taehyung chided, refusing for anyone to call you that other than him. Also, why were his friends looking at you like that? It was like they’d never seen a person before.

You rolled your eyes at what he said and you mentally scolded yourself, but fortunately, no one caught it. “Yes, I’m ___.”

“The person behind the calls? The late-night calls at two in the morning.” Jimin included. You grew puzzled at these oddly specific memories, but they were valid. You hesitantly nodded while keeping your gaze on the two.

“You’re pretty, like really beautiful.” Jungkook threw it out in the open. You were taken aback, even stepping back to look at them in disbelief.

Even Taehyung snapped his head back towards his members and was about to say something but Jimin butted in. “Tae, you didn’t tell us she was gorgeous.”

Taehyung opened his mouth, “I—I mean, I—”

“That’s fine, Hyung.” Jungkook interrupted before smiling widely at you. “I mean you do have a girlfriend anyway.”

“Jung—”

“Yup, of five years too,” Jimin smirked, showcasing his award-winning slit eyes in your direction.

Okay, you wanted to walk away from this table immediately. These sentences were uncalled for but somewhat curious. First, two jaw-dropping idols that everyone wanted, called you pretty, though you assumed they were just being nice. You weren’t very lucky in the dating world and you somewhat refused to dip your toes, let alone with idols. Mainly due to bad experiences and being too busy.

The second was that Taehyung had a girlfriend and seemed steady too, considering how long they’ve been together. You knew idols hid things regarding their dating life, BTS included despite their weird rumors between each other which were entertaining as is. So evidently, of course, Taehyung would be one with a secret partner. People always thought he was a handsome charmer back in Geochang and did have many confessions and admirers.

You said nothing and nodded, not knowing how to add to the conversation. “Well, thank you for that. Ummm, I’ll get your orders right after this so please excuse me.” With your chance, you escaped quickly and headed back into the kitchen.

It was a weird encounter, but not that bad. Though your body felt defeated and emotionally drained, you pushed meaningless thoughts away from your brain to focus on your work.

Meanwhile, Taehyung glowered at his starstruck members as they watch you walk away. He didn’t like what they said one bit. How dare they mentioned his relationship to you and also why are they shouting to the world how pretty you were?

“Stop staring at her like that, you perverts!” Taehyung scoffed. “Can you both be any more obvious?”

“We’re not touching, we’re respectfully looking.” Jimin reasoned before meeting his best friend’s upset eyes. “She’s pretty! Can’t blame us.”

“You never showed us a picture of her, nothing on her.” Jungkook pouted.

“I did! Years back!” Taehyung refuted as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“It was a baby picture!” Jimin replied. “And it was only because it was your Lock Screen before. This is different.”

“Whatever,” Taehyung rolled his eyes. “Well, there she is and because of her status as my best friend, there’s no way in hell I’m letting you two get it with her. I know those looks…” Jungkook and Jimin were definitely not dating as they were in their eras. They’ve dated here and there, but nothing was serious and Taehyung will not let you be “nothing.”

“Taehyung, she’s a grown woman!”

“Does it look like I care? No, you can’t.”

“How can you even say that?” Jungkook frowned incredulously. “No offense, but will your opinion even matter to her?”

Taehyung’s frown then turned neutral as he heard what Jungkook said. It was insulting, to say the least, but he had a point. He came here trying to gain a friendship with you, nothing else. But right now, his friends sparked interest in you and he hated the thought. Why? He didn’t want to explain or else it’ll confuse his head. But he knew you hated him more. It didn’t help that he came back after telling him off weeks ago. So whatever you did, you wouldn’t care about him and what Jungkook said right?

He wanted to change your mind, so maybe he had to be on your good side and reminisce all of your memories together. He shouldn’t think about his members, it was all about you.

You came back with the first set of plates, placing them down on the table. Jungkook assisted you by moving it further back for more space in front of you. You thanked him for his gesture.

Taehyung bit inside his cheek before looking up at you, “Blue, do you think you can get me another bottle of soju?” That showed the affection you had for each other.

Indifference, indifference, indifference, you chanted in your head. But you wanted to punch him in the throat as he rejected your wishes to not call you that nickname. “Sure.”

“Make that two, please.” Jimin raised his finger as a gesture. “I would like grape, doll.”

“Of course, I’ll get that for you.” You grinned before walking away.

As you left, Jimin smiled proudly, getting more of a response from you than Taehyung. Taehyung’s jaw clenched, ticked off at everything.

Needless to say, he wasn’t bringing them again.

-

Over the month, Taehyung has been visiting and eating at the restaurant almost every other day. This past week, he came every day. Sometimes, he was alone, in other instances, he had Seojoon, Wooshik, or both. Once in a while, it was Jungkook and Jimin who flirted with you—yes, you knew and it made you a little less attracted to them but that wasn’t the point. And each time, he tried talking to you while you said very little and kept quiet. He only spoke about your good memories, nothing more. Not once did you hear him speak on what he did, almost like what he did was nonexistent. But it wasn’t, at least for you.

Interestingly enough, when he was alone, he called you Blue. But with his friends, he called your name. You weren’t sure why, but you let it be. However, it was so hard to be.

You didn’t want to talk to him, you didn’t want to serve him, you didn’t want him to call you Blue but look where you were. You did all of that and you let him. You tried to be detached from everything, the past, the present, him, but the rage in you kept fueling up every single time.

Yet you were ashamed that even with refusal, he somehow meshed into your schedule. When he talked to you, he mentioned the past. The good past, the laughter, the adventures, the obliviousness to a now broken bond. You couldn’t decide if they were painful or nothing to you, you refused to say no to either. It was all triggering that it hurt your mind.

You hated that you were distracted by him, you shouldn’t. You weren’t in his life anymore, and neither was he. You had other priorities to think about like your school, your job, and your family back home. None of your priorities should be Taehyung because you knew that you weren’t anything to him anymore, you knew that way before. He got his other friends, his fans, his members, and his girlfriend. You were nothing and that was permanent in your mind.

Still, you grew exhausted by his persistence. Sure, he told you he wasn’t all that well but that wasn’t enough. But looking at the situation you were in, you didn’t know how to approach it without breaking. You thought you could continue like that, but how much longer? 

It was five in the morning. The sun slowly rose from the horizon, looking into your tiny one-bedroom apartment. The light cascaded into darkness, gradually revealing the sunny dawn. You enjoyed the view from your broken window you had yet to call the supervisor of the building.

You pulled an all-nighter, trying to finish this education plan as an assignment that was due today. You had no time as you were focused on other projects, so you had to just work tirelessly until the end of this one. After submitting your paper, you had one hour left before you were actually supposed to wake up.

Though with darkened bags under your eyes and a drained body from working last night, you glanced at your three cans of coke, knowing you weren’t going to sleep anytime soon. You tried your best to at least rest your eyes before doing another repeat of yesterday and the days before. At least it was Friday, then after that, the weekend. But you agonizingly realized that you began working weekends as well.

-

“You’re going out again?”

Taehyung stared at his girlfriend through the full-length mirror in their shared bedroom as he viewed his outfit for tonight. Her expression was dumbfounded by the fact that it would be another night without her boyfriend. He never explained any further of his doings, only that they were with his friends which she knew very well.

“Yeah, with Seojoon Hyung.” He confirmed as he threw on a watch.

“Tae, you’ve been going out a lot recently.” Clara pointed out as she sat on the bed.

“And what about it?” The idol shrugged. “I know you’re busy doing your job and stuff, so think of these times as self-care or me time.”

“True, but I also want time with my boyfriend.” She replied as she leaned into her palms resting on the mattress. “But I haven’t gotten that lately.”

Taehyung’s face twisted before biting his lip. He took a glance at his pouting girlfriend. It was true though. Ever since he found you and wanted your friendship, it was all he has been spending his time doing. He was never home, only to sleep, eat breakfast, and feed Yeontan. Half of the time at home, Clara wasn’t even home as she had her schedule. He barely saw her but didn’t mind it at all. But with her being sad in front of his eyes, he felt a sudden guilt that he hated. 

He sighed before clicking his tongue, “I’m sorry. I’ve been busy and a lot has been going on.”

“I thought you would have been less busy, especially with the pause on your group schedule?” She reasoned.

“Nothing really to do with the scheduling.” He mumbled.

The socialite peered at her boyfriend, “Are you really hanging out with Seojoon Oppa?”

He met her piercing eyes, knowing the implications she made. “Yes, I am. I’ve been hanging out with them. We go out to eat every time.”

“That’s a lot of downtimes Seojoon Oppa has, especially for a busy actor like him.”

Taehyung pitched the bridge of his nose, getting bothered by her interrogations. “I’m not cheating if that’s what you’re saying.”

“I’m not saying you are.”

“Yes, you are!” He opposed. “You do that fucking thing. “Are you really?” “Are you sure?” I’m sure I’m not.”

“But you’re always out!”

“Because I don’t like being home!” He explained before grabbing his wallet and shoving it in his back pocket. He did not want to deal with this right now.

“Tae, but I want to spend time with you!” Clara ordered as she stood up, trying to find her boyfriend’s eyes. “I thought the pause would have given you more downtime to spend with me. I’ve been clearing my schedule for you, but it seems for nothing if I’m at home alone. Can’t even go out because no one knows…”

There it was, the regret coming back up. Taehyung didn’t like yelling at her, or even fighting, especially something stupid like this. But sometimes, it was inevitable. You would think that after being together for five years would be easier to manage but it was wrong. So, so, so wrong.

“I’m sorry.” He said before turning his body to look at her. She was really stunning, even in low light, her beauty was emphasized by the shadows cast over her face.

“If you’re busy, I get that but it hurts when you don’t make time for me.” Clara approached frankly. “It was really bad when you were touring and always at the studio 24/7. I really thought this time would give us time together.”

“You do realize that the band’s not disbanding, I’m still busy with other things. These times are for me to feel freer.” Taehyung communicated clearly.

“Yes, I know. Spending time with your Hyungs and members, but I would want to be prioritized too.”

Another blow to his chest as the shame consumed him again. “I do—I—I’m sorry.”

“I know you’re sorry, but actions speak louder than words.” She specified. “Spend time with me, I don’t wanna ask again.” He nodded hopelessly as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Are you busy tomorrow?”

He opened his mouth but closed it shut. All he had was going to the studio and then having dinner at your work, which was “busy” to him. But the longer he stared at Clara’s pleading eyes, he didn’t want to let her down again. “No, I’m not. We can go to the park early in the morning and walk Tan?”

“Then have breakfast?” Her eyes lit up.

Taehyung scrunched his nose before ultimately nodding, “Yes, I’ll spend the whole day with you. I promise.” It was a big promise, but he had to do it. He had no choice but to.

-

“I’m sorry I’m late!” You ran into the restaurant restlessly. Your shift started at noon, but now it was close to two in the afternoon. You stopped before Halmeoni looked at you worriedly. “I overslept!”

“How can someone oversleep? It’s 2 PM??” Kenji commented as he grabbed empty cups to fill them with ice.

“Dear, you look paler,” Halmeoni informed, noticing your sunken features. She held your cheeks with her frail callous hands. “You’re even skinnier and I saw you yesterday. When’s the last time you ate?”

“Halmeoni, I’m fine.” You reassured with a tired smile. “I had to finish something last night and the night before, so I slept late, but it’s alright!”

“Sweetie, I think you should go rest for the day. I’ll pay you for the day.” Your sweet boss recommended it, but you denied it as fast as you could.

“No, it’s fine. I also know how busy weekends get for the restaurant and I wanna help.”

She sighed as she squeezed your arms, “If you insist.” You affirmed before getting your apron and tying it over you. While you were distracted, Halmeoni went to Kenji and whispered in his ear. “Keep an eye on her.”

Kenji assured his grandmother before she walked back into the kitchen. As he was about to go to a table, he spotted you grabbing another coke and gulping it down in a hurry. The younger boy pursed his lips, fearing for your health.

-

You didn’t know how, but you worked tirelessly through rush hour without any breaks. After drinking that can, you had a boost of energy that you haven’t had in a while. It felt so good to feel like you were on top of the world, even if it was temporary. Hopefully, this rush can last the whole night since you had to read an important article for a course.

Once you finished with your last table, for now, you stretched your limbs behind the counter, letting out a yawn. As you opened your mouth, a spring roll was shoved into it, leaving you bewildered as you spotted Kenji biting on another one. 

“You need to eat something.” He spoke with a full mouth. “I’ve had more breaks today than you ever did this past week.”

You bit into the roll and munched on it. “That’s because I don’t abuse my grandmother’s leniency like you.”

“But she’ll be more pissed if I don’t rest. Something you should do.” He voiced out, but you responded by rolling your eyes as you finished what was left of the roll. “Don’t overwork yourself.”

“I’m not!” You groaned before wiping your mouth with a napkin. “And I can rest at home.”

“You’re doing the most for no reason.”

“There’s always a reason for what I do.” You pushed forth as you passed by him.

The tarp opened and you looked in that direction, not surprised to see a smiling Taehyung with a Seojoon behind. You were unsure how to feel when you saw the idol’s face, but you can’t help but think about how it was when you were younger. No matter what you did, you’d see that ebony-haired boy with that boxy smile plastered on him every single day. It made your day before, but now…

“Hi, ___!” Taehyung smiled as he walked towards you. Though you stared at him, your mind was elsewhere. He observed your face, you looked weaker despite seeing you yesterday. Cheeks were hollow, the color in your eyes dimmed, and lips were chapped. As gentle as possible, he couldn’t help but raise his hand and pat your head. He grew concerned, especially while he was touching you and you didn’t even flinch, not even tense up once. “Blue, are you okay?” He whispered.

Your daydreaming came to an end when a dull ache pierced through your head. You hissed at the pain, resting your head in your palms and bending forward. You didn’t even realize someone was near you until you felt a hand on your back.

“___, are you in pain? How are you feeling?” The voice was sensed right away. You wanted to move away but you couldn’t. He rubbed your back and you hated that it soothed you.

“I’m fine.” You kneed your face before straightening your posture and stepping away from Taehyung. “Don’t worry about me.”

“But I a—”

“I’m not worried about you, so don’t worry about me.” You mumbled. The pain was still there but you tried repressing it. “Now go to your seat and don’t touch me again.”

Taehyung wanted to say something but he stopped and accepted it. He turned to his Hyung who also looked at you empathically before they went to a vacant table. You walked over to the counter to retrieve menus and a notepad. As you did so, you instantly felt lightheaded. 

You probably didn’t drink some water, so for a speedy recovery, you filled a glass of water for yourself and downed it in one go. You inhaled then exhaled, pacing your breathing. You felt a little better, but the headache was still there. You thought you’d be fine for now. But as you took a step, your vision got blurry even having three sets of Kenji walking by. You shook your head, trying to clear your head. You were fine, you were fine.

But you had to walk step by step instead of at your usual speed. You felt getting lighter, but at least your sight was still clear. Once you got to Taehyung’s table, you didn’t notice the concerned look on him as you asked them for their drink order. Seojoon talked for them, but for some reason, his voice muffled like he was underwater while a ringing pinched into your eardrums. You squirmed softly, catching Taehyung’s attention once more.

“___, you don’t look so good.” The idol frowned but you were quick to ignore him.

Not even getting their order, you hummed. “I’ll get them right away.” As you turned your back and walked methodically, Taehyung watched at a distance with growing panic.

“She doesn’t look right.” The idol informed and turned his head at his rather calm Hyung.

“Maybe she has an off day.” Seojoon simply said. “It’s concerning though, but I know she’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know her like I do though.” The idol spoke tensely. “I don’t buy anything she’s saying right now.”

“I guess so,” The older man snorted, shaking his head. “By the way, what’s up with you and her? I know you said she was your friend. Don’t tell me you’re trying to get with her.”

“I’m not cheating,” Taehyung emphasized. “___’s my friend, I grew up with her. Just trying to spend time with her.”

“At her working place?” Seojoon questioned, cocking his head to the side in wonder. “Can’t you just ask to hang out outside?”

“Well, the thing is…she doesn’t like me.”

“I can see that. It’s like you’re torturing her with your presence.” The actor brutally replied. “Why are you making so much effort if she doesn’t want you in her life?”

Taehyung sighed as he tapped his fingers on the table. ”It’s hard to explain, but…she was a big part of my life and I hate that we ended things.”

Seojoon nodded, understanding his youngest friend. “So she was only your friend?”

“Yeah.”

“Really? That’s all?”

“Yes? What do you mean ‘that’s all’?”

The older man was intrigued, only because Taehyung was the type to give up on things so easily, like how he did with playing the trumpet, film photography, working out, and the list went on. So for him to do the most, Seojoon wanted to dig deeper into who exactly you were and if there was more to what Taehyung was letting out.

You finally made it to the counter. That was so hard for no reason at all. You feebly gripped the edge of the table, trying to pull yourself together. You lifted your pounding head and blinked rapidly. Your eyes got hazy and felt a whole lot better and you cheered mentally. Maybe you needed more water.

You shifted your body and reached for a cup when unexpectedly, your legs gave out. Your headache stabbed your mind, your vision fogged up your surroundings, and your head leaned back as your eyes rolled back. You crashed onto the cold hard floor, your body curling in immense pain.

The last thing you saw was Taehyung running towards your body, calling your name before blacking out.

-

The second you opened your eyes, you gasped and snapped up. But the dulling pain in your cranium continued its presence, making you fold and hold your head. You winced at how badly it hurt, even feeling the tears forming in your eyes.

“Blue!” You weakly opened your eyes once you felt arms and a whole broad chest around your body. You felt him nosing into your hair while his thumbs rubbed circles on your back. “Thank goodness, you’re awake. You had me worried.”

You frowned and ripped him off of you. He was taken aback by your action, but he continued to stare at you with a worrisome look. You glared with a disturbed pout before scanning through your vicinity. The window showed the twilight of the firmament. Judging by the beeping monitor on the other side, a needle inserted into your skin, the bed, and the white cooling room, you were sent to the hospital. 

The last thing you remembered was getting a glass of water for yourself and nothing else. Your stress levels were through the roof. Your vision was blurry, you couldn’t move your body, and your mouth was dry. But as if he knew, on cue, Taehyung handed you a glass of water. You looked at the cup and then back to him. Without saying anything, you raised your hands to grasp it but you were trembling excessively which made the idol notice.

He took the effort to lift the brim of the glass to your lips. You weren’t in a position to complain about the gesture so you accepted it. You went forward as he tilted the cup, helping your drink. He didn’t stop until you finished the whole thing, which you did since you were very much dehydrated.

You respired, sitting properly on the hospital bed. Your irises watched Taehyung put the glass down on the bedside table, then sat down back at the table. Though you said nothing, you wanted answers to everything like why was he here.

Again as if he knew, he began speaking, “It’s currently three in the morning. We rushed you here and you were out for more than seven hours.” He scooted his chair toward you until you were within his reach. You could only gaze at him with tired eyes. He too looked like he didn’t sleep. “The doctor said you fainted from dehydration, starvation, and overworking your body. What led you to do that? We were so scared, Blue. I was worried sick.”

You blinked dizzily, not by your condition but by what he said. He was worried sick? Were you hearing that correctly? How fucking bold of him to tell that to you. What was he doing to you? Why was he being kind and sweet like the Taehyung you once knew? This was the same person who hurt you. Why did he do all of this? Why does he even fucking care for you at all?

Mindlessly, you slapped his shoulder to the best you can since you weren’t in the best shape. The smack made him jolt, gawking at you bug-eyed. But it wasn’t enough for you. Smack! He needed to feel pain. Smack! He needed to be hurt. Smack! He needed to feel what you felt all the years before. Smack! During those years. Smack! Now. Smack! Smack! Smack!

“Owww, Bl—Fuck!” Taehyung whined, trying to force your hands away from him. Your lips quaked as you slapped him again and again. “Blue, that hurts!”

“You asshole! Stop it!” You shouted, your skin heating up and your tear ducts swelling up. “No, stop! Stop calling me Blue! Stop coming to the shop. Stop telling people about our past! Stop begging! Stop, stop, stop! Just stop it already!” You hit him once more, but it came out helplessly when the walls in you broke down and the dam exploded. You let sobs as your stature shook, having no control anymore.

Taehyung saw you, shaking his head. He absolutely hated seeing you cry. He innately hugged your weeping form and nuzzled into your hair again. Only this time you gave up pushing him away and took it. “___, please. I’m sorry, I just really wanted you ba—”

“Why would you even? You hurt me, Taehyung!” You punched tiny fists onto his chest that made no real damage before shoving your dampened face to his front. His touch soothed you so familiarly that it pained you at the same time.

“I’m sorry, Blue. I’m sorry.” His body trembled around you. Your hair felt wet, finally being aware that he too was crying.

 “You called me a needy little bitch who had no other friends!” The throbbing memory was so vivid you remembered it like it was yesterday.

It has been over a year since Taehyung left Geochang for Seoul to pursue his dream of becoming an idol. His departure was a bittersweet “see you later.” This was the first time you and he would be physically apart, being kilometers and hours away from him.

If you had the chance to, you’d tag along and stay with him, but you had no money and you weren’t as talented as he was. So a simple choking hug, many farewells, reassurance of how much you’d miss and love one another, and a kiss on your temple would suffice.

Every night he’d called to update you on the process and ask how you were with school, which was tough considering your best friend in the whole world wasn’t there for support but you knew he was there for you in spirit. 

You astonishedly made a genuine friend to be your buddy throughout high school and you told him. He got jealous. He told you who his members were, even sending you a picture of who’s who and what were they like. Jimin seemed sweet especially since Taehyung talked about him all the time. You got envious, but the both of you knew no one can replace either of you.

However, recently the contact was stagnant. Of course, while he was busy with training and preparing for your debut, you were busy with school and helping your grandparents out. They were getting older, so you tried your best to help around the house and farm. You would call him every night, but it would go straight to voicemail. You texted him, but he wouldn’t reply until days later and the response would be ‘Sorry, been busy.’

You tried your best to understand he has been working hard on this and you were proud of him, but you worried if he was okay. You wanted to know how he was doing or what was happening in his personal life. You just wanted to know. But now texts were rare and phone calls were miracles yet short and under two minutes.

Maybe you were being too much but quickly remembered what Taehyung told you before. It was after that big fight you had. He told you honestly and with solace. Regardless, you decided to give him a little space to avoid being overbearing.

But that only lasted two days because the unexpected happened.

After finding out, you naturally ran to your safe haven—your room—and cried your heart out. This wasn’t supposed to happen. The guilt consumed you, never even saying goodbye because you were at school and no one told you until after. You held onto your soaked pillow tightly. You felt vulnerable, and cold, and searched for comfort.

Then you remembered Taehyung.

You grabbed your phone and dialed his number. There was a ringing, but it went to voicemail. You dialed again. Voicemail. Again. Voicemail. Again. Voicemail. Again. Voicemail. Again. Voi—

“What?!” Taehyung snarled. “Why are you calling me so much?”

“Hyun—Hyungie!” You cried. “I nee—”

“Blue, I’m so tired. I can’t right now.” He groaned and you can imagine him scratching his cranium.

“B—but, it’s import—important.”

“Can’t it wait?”

“Hyungie ple—”

“___, call tomorrow!”

“No, you’re not un—”

“Ugh, seriously. Why are you being a needy little bitch?” He spat through the phone. “I know you have no friends and all, but I’m busy!”

This was the first time Taehyung yelled at you, the first time he was mad at you. He never was like that with you. Those words were hurting you, but you pushed them aside to reason. Your lower lips shuddered in denial, “No, no, Hyungie—”

“I swear, can’t you think about my needs for once other than yourself! Fuck.”

“I do and I’m sorry I upset you, but I need you ri—”

“___, I have to go. Namjoon Hyung is calling us to the living room. It’s important.”

“Hyungie, please. I nee—”

The call ended.

You tried calling back again and again, but he wasn’t answering so you left a voicemail. “Please, Hyungie. I’m sorry I made you mad, I’m sorry. I need you right now. I’m scared and lonely and I want my best friend. Please answer back. I love you. I miss you so much.”

Once you finished your message, you sat in the dark contemplating what he told you. Were you smothering him too much? Were you that needy? But Taehyung reassured you. He always has. But why was he saying it now? Did it finally get to him? No, no. Of course, not. He was your best friend of all time.

Every single day for the next week, you called him as much as possible. But there was no avail. You sent texts and phone calls until you found out that he blocked you. You stared at the screen for a good hour with the little pop-up saying a message cannot be sent.

It hurt so much for him to say that, to do that. It really was how he thought of you. You only ever had him, the person with so many friends, and he was gone. You were too needy, too much to handle. You caved into your body and pulled your knees to your chest as you bawled. His words always meant tremendously to you, and you didn’t realize you looked at yourself in that new light he showed you.

You came to a realization that you didn’t have a best friend. You lost him.

You lost your grandmother and him.

“___, I’m so sorry. They were lies, I never meant it!” Taehyung explained, wiping his nose on his sleeve. “I never thought of you like that ever!”

Your reddened puffy eyes lifted to meet his equally swollen ones. “Taehyung, my grandma died that day.” You swore his face and heart dropped at the information. “She went into a cardiac arrest while picking crops and dropped dead.” You sobbed as more tears ran down your cheeks. “I found out after school because no one didn’t want to tell me while I was in.”

Taehyung cupped your cheeks with his hands, wiping the streaks away but it was pointless. “I’m so so—”

You grabbed onto his forearms, so he could look directly into your eyes. “When my grandma died, I needed my best friend. I needed you, Taehyung!” You screamed and squeezed him with your might. You observed him as he had his lips between his teeth and looked down in shame and remorse eating him alive. “You ignored my text and calls when I needed you the most. But I didn’t have that anymore. There was no one.” You whispered the last sentence, knowing the loneliness you felt for years.

“Blue, I’m sorry. I didn’t know!” His shaky voice was filled with regret and sorrow, not realizing what you’d gone through until now. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know!”

“I tried telling you! But you pushed me away!! You didn’t give me a chance!” You slapped his chest faintly hard but it still wasn’t enough to break him. He lets you do so because he deserved it. He deserved every hit, every scream from you. He was a shitty best friend to you and he didn’t know the severity of it. “I lost you and grandma that day. It hurts, it hurts so much.”

Thinking you’d hit him again, you surprisingly encircled your arms around his torso and pulled him closer. On instinct, he did the same, tightening his hold. “I lost you. I needed you, Hyungie.” 

Streaks went down his face at how weak you sounded and it was all because of him. He hated himself for it, he hated the way he acted at you, you never deserved any of that, but he was an asshole. An asshole to his innocent and sweet best friend.

“You didn’t lose me, Blue. I’m here. I won’t leave, I promise. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He promised, then whispered all the apologies in the world to you. A critical promise that he will keep in his heart until the day he died.

-

You don’t know how long you were in this position, but dawn was soon arriving. The tiny peak of the tangerine shined among the skyline. You watched in tranquility with inflamed irises and dried stains on your features. Somewhere along the line, Taehyung climbed himself onto the elevated top bed and had you in his arms. 

At this point, you don’t bother because he wasn’t going to listen and you had to admit that the feeling of him alleviated you like how you recollected. You missed it so much and you maneuvered into his chest.

Taehyung wasn’t asleep. He was weary, but couldn’t sleep. In the meantime, he watched you while you stared out the window. He enjoyed it, acknowledging the yearning to have you back near him. He thought about it before but now, he wanted to beat himself up for ever letting you go. Though the crying stopped with a few sniffles here and there, the pounding in his heart didn’t stop. There was so much to be said, so much for him to ask and beg, all he hoped was that you accepted them.

“Blue—”

“Don’t call me that right now.” You muttered without even looking back.

“Sorry. Uhh, ___.” He called and you hummed in response. “I know I fucked up and hurt your feelings and I regret them. I swear, the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you.”

“But you did.”

“Yes, I’m aware.” He gulped and exhaled unevenly. “I said the most fucked up things to you and took you for granted. You aren’t needy, you did nothing wrong. You’re innocent. It’s all my fault. I was a dumbass, obnoxious, and selfish. But I want you to know that you never lost me and I’m gonna keep reminding you of that. I promise I’ll never leave you again. I wanna make things right and rekindle our friendship. I wanna ask you for your forgiveness, please?”

Your irises shifted from the view outside to his nervous face. You sighed, then sat up. He followed you and waited patiently yet anxiously for your answer. “I forgave you a long time ago, Taehyung.”

His pupils dilated while his mouth parted, “You did?”

You nodded with pure honesty. “It took me three years, but I did.” You knew he was about to question it, so you quickly added. “I saw that BTS documentary and you talked about the struggles and adversity you all had to face, even with the early termination you avoided and personal life.”

He was shocked to find out that you followed him and the group, which melted his heart, and wanted to know more but now wasn’t the time. So he nodded. 

“I forgave, but I won’t forget it.” You stated. “Because, Kim Taehyung, you’ve hurt me so badly that it got me traumatized to opening back up to people.”

It was true. After your friendship broke, you shut down and avoided peers other than group projects. People tried but didn’t get very far. There was no effort due to your lingering fear of disappointment and your insecurity about being clingy. You went to school and then home, sometimes helping your grandfather out. You did have Taehyung’s siblings, but once his family moved, you really had no one.

Other relatives visited you and your grandfather, but that was basically it. It went like this from there until the end of your undergraduate years.

“You took our friendship for granted. Yes, we’ve changed and we’re strangers now…” You spoke like this was nothing but it tore Taehyung on the inside. He never wanted this to happen. “But there’s a scar in me, it’s still here and it’s a reminder.”

“___, you shouldn’t do that. It’s not good for you.” He approached. “The loneliness will continue.”

“But how can I not?” You whimpered with glossy eyes. “I’m afraid, because of you!”

Your words punched him in the gut, wincing at the emotional sting. “S-scars can heal over time, but it takes a while unless you get help.” You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “Let me help you heal your scars.”

You leaned back as you fidget your fingers, hesitantly shaking your head. “N-n—I don’t know if I can.”

“I’ll help you! I’ll help you like I always did when we were together.”

“The past—”

“Please. You said it yourself, even if I hate it, but we’re strangers now. It’ll be different this time. We can start fresh, or back to where we left off before I moved to Seoul, I don’t care as long as I have you and our friendship back in my life. I’ll be eternally grateful.”

“You know it’s really hard to start fresh when I think about how we were years back.” You pronounced, still uneasy about the tempting recommendation. 

“Then let’s go back where we left off!”

“Can’t help but also think about what you did.”

Taehyung was desperate and felt defeated by your hard and impenetrable stance. But he didn’t want to give it up when he was so close. “Please, ___. I miss you so much. Back then, you were the only person who understood me. You probably still are and I hope that.”

“Please you have your friends and members, your girlfriend, who know you much more than me.” You retorted at his ridiculousness.

“Never, and I know that deep in me.” He said in no laughing matter. You pursed your lips, remembering how serious he can get.

Your pupils moved away to look back at the rising sun. “It’s been years though…”

“Then there’s a lot of time to be made up.”

You sighed, “Taehyu—“

“Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Ple—”

“Fine, fuck! Jesus Christ, you’re annoying.” You burst out, making him flinch. “We’ll do it.“

The angels answered his prayers. The broken pieces of the bond twitched as they’re attempting to find their way back to each other. The flames were about to ablaze with hazard protection the second you agreed.

“R-really?” He asked dumbfoundedly.

You gave a swift nod, “But I will remind you.” You grasped his tendrils firmly and tugged him to you, causing him to squirm painfully. You glared daggers at him with pupils enlarged. “You fucking broke my trust and heart, and this is something you’ll have to earn back.” Your hold tightened harshly, letting him yelp. “I don’t care how many pouts, expressions, begs and pleas you give me. You earn it. Understood?”

“Ye—yes, ma’am.” He replied without missing a beat.

You released your grip and removed your hand away. He groaned at the blunt ache. He knew you were harsh when you wanted to but damn. He was about to touch it, but you yanked his head towards your chest.

You wrapped your arms around his neck before your fingers gently brushed through his raven locks. He flinched, but only because it stung. However, your digits carded through and lightly scratched his scalp. “Did I hurt you?”

The sides of his lips curved, absorbing the tenderness he knew you had even if it was only a small piece. He rested peacefully into you and shook his head. “You could never hurt me.”

Though he never saw that smile on you at that moment, it was going to be okay. Hopefully, there will be more with the reconnection. It was complicated and conflicting, there may be holes. If people found out, they may question it, but they would never fully understand unless they were in your shoes.

The bond was yet in the dark due to lost time. But the reminder of that gravitational pull between you two was consistently there and progressing to its liking. Maybe little by little or jumping through barrels, who knew? All that mattered was that you were separated for almost a decade—

You’d always find yourselves back to one another.

-

It has been over a week since you and Taehyung had that fight. It really disappointed you that he forgot your parents’ death anniversary, but it bothered you even more that this was your biggest fight yet. You’ve done so much for your best friend and always tried to do what he asked you despite it being uncomfortable sometimes. He knew, he knew you knew. Yet he would still ask.

Asking him this one thing, this one important thing and he forgot it like it was nothing. It wasn’t something you could let off easily with Taehyung’s apologies and his intricate pouts. You had to be a little more stubborn than usual, so here you were—in your room alone on a sunny Saturday morning.

Since then, you haven’t spoken to Taehyung no matter how much he tried. If he did, you’d ignore him like the wind. When he tried hugging you, you pushed him off of you even going as far as throwing him on the grass. It was one of the hardest things to do especially when he lived next door and invited himself over at all times. You hated the distance. You missed him and his presence, but it had to be done for your voice to be heard. An apology wasn’t going to cut it. 

He was an insistent pest, calling your name and begging for your forgiveness from every angle you could think of. If only he knew you already forgave him, your heart couldn’t reject your best friend like that.

Today was not like the rest. After your fight—well, even before—Taehyung was your human alarm clock. Right on the dot of six in the morning. But it was the weekend, so it would be nine o’clock. However, there were no sounds or sight of your social butterfly anywhere. It was too quiet for your liking.

It frightened you.

Nonetheless, you went about through your morning. After washing up, you went out on the porch to water the plants. While hosing the pots down, you spotted someone coming out next door in your peripheral vision. You didn’t think anything else of it as it could have been anyone from Taehyung’s family, but then you saw the hue of bold red from his big-ass backpack stuffed as usual.

You shook your head, wondering what he was up to before paying attention back to your foliages and flora. Once you were done, you turned the hose off. You were about to turn away and go back into your house until a certain person came into your vicinity and closed the door when you tried opening it.

“Good morning, my lovely Blue.” He sounded radiant and energized.

For the first time since the fight, you finally acknowledged your best friend by staring at him right in the eyes with your tired and hurt once. The smile on his face grew the second the contact was mutual.

Before either of you could say anything, you pried open your front door. You made it in, but you couldn’t slam it shut as he ducked down and his arms wrapped around your waist then lifting you in the air. You yelped at the sudden action and unfortunately, it came naturally to encircle yours around his nape for support.

You felt him letting go, slipping in his hold which made you grip tighter. But then you noticed him maneuvering his hands under your thighs, putting you in a comfortable position.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you go,” Taehyung reassured as he kicked the door closed. Though you were secured, you realized the position you were in and what he was doing. Suspicious of him, you wiggled to get out of his hold but he only gripped firmer. “Nuh uh, I got you now, so deal with it.”

You blew out of your nose and pulled a face of disgust. You glared at him intently, but he paid no attention as he walked you toward your room. His face remained smiley, but deep down, he was actually deathly afraid. He wanted you back and hated himself for what he did. He needed to truly make it up after he was a shitty best friend to his sweet true best friend in the whole universe.

Once in your room, he propped you down on your bed. You crossed your arms, avoiding his eyes by staring forward at the wall. There was no way he’d get to you this easily. You had to continue your stance.

You heard him sigh before walking towards you and kneeling in front. He laid his hands on your lap before gazing up, “Blue, please talk to me. I miss you.” You stayed silent, ignoring him. “I’m sorry for forgetting your parents’ anniversary. It wasn’t my intention to, but I did for some stupid party for friends who are no way near important compared to you.”

Your heart stung a little—friends. The same friends he’d go to have lunch with. The same ones who were in football with him. The same ones who invited him to parties and hangouts. The same ones he managed to forget your time with him.

You looked away and batted your eyes to keep the tears away. You didn’t want him to see you cry just yet. It was way too early in the morning for that.

“Blue, I know I can’t apologize enough for it. I’m stupid.” You really wanted to say “you are,” but bit your tongue to keep quiet. “So what I’m trying to say is…” He got up and reached out to hold your cheeks in his palms. “Let’s go have an adventure.”

His sentence threw you off to the point where you snorted and spoke for the first time. “I’m not going anywhere with you right now.” You retorted, slapping him away from you. “If you fucking think that a da—”

“Please, there’s a reason for it! But it’s a surprise.” He quickly countered. His eyes rapidly tried to find your agreement, but there was none…yet.

“Do you even deserve my time?” You spat back, making him internally bruise at your cruel words. You felt guilt roaming in you when you saw how hurt he looked, but you repressed it. “You should hang out with your other friends. I’m sure they’d want to hang out with your surprise. I’ll be fine alone.”

“___,” He spoke quietly. “Please, I miss you. I want my best friend back.”

“But do you even want me back?” His expression grew perplexed and had no response back. “Just forget what I said.” You shook your head. “Leav—”

“I’m not leaving you.” He protested. “This adventure is important, the reason is important, you are important, ___. Please.”

Your jaw clenched as you glared fiercely at Taehyung. He looked back with fear in his eyes. You were always the one in your friendship to get annoyed or angry very easily while Taehyung never did anything back. He was patient and usually the idiot to blame for his antics. He never was mad at you…at all.

Though you were still wary of him, you were curious about what exactly this adventure was. When he said these things, he would have reasons behind them and they were usually mindfully good. He knew he fucked up, so he should know not to do anything that would upset you even more.

“So what should I wear for this adventure?” You asked. Though you didn’t explicitly yes, he knew you were on board with this.

He smiled widely, forming his boxy structure at you that you missed so much. He grabbed your hands into his before sliding his nose on the back of them, just wanting to feel your skin. “Just change and be yourself.”

You nodded before kicking him out of your room. Sure, he has seen you bare (kinda) and vice versa but he was still on thin ice with you. By the time you were done, you had a small bag, fresh pair of going-out clothes on, and an unenthusiastic smile written on your face.

When you both went out of the house and down the front porch, he stopped you. You glanced at him, wondering what did he want. “Before we go, I want you to keep these on.” He grabbed something out of his bright backpack and presented it to you.

It was a blindfold.

You furrowed your brows, a bit disturbed and very confused. You opened your mouth to refuse, but closed it up when you reminded yourself that he wasn’t gonna give you a clear answer. With that, you nodded to let him put it on you. You were too nice to him for your own good.

“So am I just gonna walk blindly the entire time?” You asked once he tightened the fabric around your eyes.

“No, I’ll be your eyes,” Taehyung reassured. “As long as you trust me.” You gulped, staying quiet yet your face twisted at his words. That caused him to frown immediately before intertwining his fingers with yours. “Blue, you trust me right?”

“Of course.” There was no hesitation in your voice. “I always did, but…” You looked down despite seeing black in your vision. You knew he stayed right back at you, you could feel his eyes lingering. 

“I’ll make it up, I swear.” He promised, squeezing your hand. You could only hum, but it still wasn’t enough to convince you yet. “Just follow me, I’ll protect you.”

Somehow he managed to keep the blindfold on you for almost two and a half hours despite your begging and complaining. He told you to watch out and helped you step exactly where you should walk in and out of places.

Your other senses were heightened, eventually noticing how you went on a subway and then a bus ride through the sounds of the transportation. Yet you still didn’t know where you were exactly going. Halfway through you gave up and slept through the bus ride with the darkness around you, even cuddling to Taehyung’s side to which he accepted and laid his head on yours.

He woke you up to get off the stop. You were still in a daze, but you let him help you walk down the steps. But to your misfortune, there was still a long walk more to go and you were so tired and hungry. Taehyung linked his arm with yours, careful not to get you hurt. The distance felt so much longer with your eyes covered, you were getting annoyed again. 

“Taehyung, how much longer?” You whined, basically dragged yourself.

You heard him laugh, “Just this hill. I promise.”

You were about to complain again, but stop when you wafted the aroma of flowers near. Did he go through all this trouble for fucking flowers? Sure, you loved them but you didn’t think they were enough.

The environment was a soothing stillness though. You haven’t heard others around you for quite some time. Even the bus ride here felt empty. Where was he taking you?

It felt like climbing the hill was over because he finally lets go of you. He told you again to keep the fabric on, so you just waited. You heard rumbling and rummaging through his backpack and other things you couldn’t quite specify. 

You took a deep sigh, then you felt his presence near you, in front of you. You felt his hands going behind your head to loosen the blindfold off of you. He slowly removed them to help you adjust your eyes back to the light. You blinked rapidly, taking in a slightly blurred Taehyung before rubbing your pupils.

“You okay now, Blue?” He questioned, searching for any troubles. You nodded as you looked back at him, then turned your head to figure out where you were. In an instant, your irises widened with your mouth slightly apart.

You’ve been here before, exactly a week ago but this time, it was with your best friend instead of your grandparents. Right before your eyes rested the tombstones of your parents side by side. There was a green gingham picnic blanket placed down adjacent to the graves with packed meals and fruits laying on top of the fabric. Two glass bottles of flowers sat perfectly on each side of your parents.

You were completely mesmerized by the sight before you. Your tear ducts couldn’t be saved as tears fell down your cheeks and the sniffles started inflating your nose. Your body throbbed, releasing all the emotions you’ve bottled up until this point.

Taehyung wrapped his body around yours, immediately relaxing you and leaning into him. He kissed your hair as he swayed you both. He knew this would happen, feeling your emotions that he too cried with you as he finally was able to see your parents.

After what felt like forever, the two of you finally settled down and ate your lunch and snacks. You spent the entire afternoon with your parents, talking and reminiscing memories on your part. You explained to them who Taehyung was in your life and how much he meant to you. While you blabbered onto the tombstones, Taehyung’s eyes were only on you smiling at your teary smiles and giggles, enjoying every second of it.

“Thank you, Hyungie.” You told him with a loving smile and a warm hug to the side. “Thank you so much.”

He pulled you closer, bringing you to sit on his lap as he encircled his arms around your waist. You rested your hands over his, tilting your head back. “No need to thank me. I’ve been an idiot for letting you go through that.” He rested his chin on your shoulder as he gazed at the graves. “You’re my Blue; I’ll do anything for you.”

You sucked your lips into your mouth, wondering if it was time to tell him the truth. Maybe he’ll understand you much more, and be aware of how much you felt. “Taehyung…”

You never said his name unless you were serious or mad. He closed his eyes and scrunched his face in fear. “Am I in trouble again?”

You lightly chuckled and shook your head, “No.” You paused for a moment and let it out. “A-are-are you—do you even like that I’m your best friend?”

You turned back to face him, faces a few centimeters away but you didn’t care to dig deeper into that. His attention focused on you. You saw his hesitation, but it wasn’t because of what you expected. It wasn’t of regret or denial. It was something else that you couldn’t quite pinpoint. You’ve seen it before, but you could never figure it out.

“O—of course, why is that even a question, ___?” He finally replied.

You finally faced away from him and viewed your parents. “You’re a social butterfly, Hyungie. You’ve always been. You’re kind and sociable, and you put your heart into every single one of your friendships.” You began, but your eyes were reddening by the second. “You could have anyone as your best friend, but…you chose me.” The salty water flooded your tear ducts and your chest grew tighter.

Concern wasn’t enough to express how Taehyung felt when he saw you crying again. He never wanted to let go. He turned you around so that way you sat sideways as he made you lean yourself into his chest and neck, rubbing your back and letting you sob again.

“Why?” You wept softly, the whimpering breaking Taehyung’s heart. His face creased in puzzlement, still not understanding you. “Why did you choose me? I’m nothing like you. I’m quiet, it’s so hard for me to start a conversation! You’re so popular and fit into every group, and I feel like I’m so far behind you…and…I don’t deserve you!”

Taehyung lets out a sob, stubbornly shaking his head in denial. He pecked your forehead as he joined another crying session. “Never say that again. You deserve all of me as I do with you.” Words injected with sorrow and disappointment. The only disappointment in him was seeing another skin of you insecure about your ten-year friendship that he knew nothing about. He understood what others thought and did to you, but you never mentioned how you truly felt. “Why didn’t you tell me this is how you felt?”

“I never wanted you to feel bad about something you couldn’t control. You’re outgoing, Hyungie; I’m not. I didn’t want you to pity me just because I only rely on you.”

“I would only want you to rely on me.”

“And I’m also younger than you. It may be only by a year but it does make a difference since I don’t see you throughout the school day. Plus you have your football team.”

“I don’t care about that because right after school and practice, I’m excited to come back to you.”

“I’m a fucking hermit crab who likes to stay in and you love partying and enjoying the outside!”

“I love being with my little crab more than being outside.”

“Hyungie—”

“___, listen.” He hushed you, gently patting your hair as he watched you with teary warmness. Leaning into you, he rested his forehead onto yours. The both of you closed your eyes, breathing yourselves into one another. Muted weeping spilled out of you when you listened to him. “It was never, and I mean never my intention to let you hurt like that. I didn’t know how you felt about it. Other than forgetting, was that also why you were so angry and hurt?” 

You pouted and nodded. “I feel like I’m losing you as we get older. We’re getting our own values and interests apart from one another you’d want someone who fits more into you instead of this awkward needy recluse. I worry if I’m even a good best friend for you.”

He pulled back, making you open your puffy eyes. This was the most serious he presented himself to you. He breathed in and out before speaking, “You’re never going to lose me. If I do, which won’t happen, I’ll come back with a sword fight to have you again.” You grinned at how absurd he sounded but it all meant earnestly. “We’re getting older, sure, but I don’t want anyone like me. Have you met me?” You chuckled and moved into his chest. “I never thought about having another besides you. You’re more than a good best friend, ___. You’re my Blue and that will never change.”

Your lips quivered at his soft reassurance to you. You were so fearful and nervous about growing apart from him that all that was said overwhelmed you but in the best way possible.

“I’m sorry for forgetting again. Please forgive me.” Taehyung told you again.

“I will always forgive you.” You nodded before you laced your fingers with his. “Even if I’m mad or upset or hurt at you, I’ll always forgive you.”

He diverted his pupils toward the stones. “I’m sorry, auntie and uncle. I didn’t mean to miss meeting you. You have the most loving and tolerant daughter in the universe for being friends with this annoying bug.”

“You’re not a bug.” You cooed.

“Hey!”

You giggled then faded when you had to let something out, “I’m sorry for being so needy. It must be a lot for you.” 

“I love you being needy for me too.” He smiled pridefully. “It just means you want me all to yourself.”

You smacked his shoulder, blushing brightly. “That’s not what it means.”

“Yeah, sure, Blue.” Taehyung rolled his eyes as he wiped your stained features with his thumbs. “You better not be needy for anyone else.”

It was your turn to smile cockily. “Why, doesn’t seem a bit much? Maybe I should do it to someone else to take the load off.”

“It’s never too much for me. Give it to only me.” He pouted, tightening his hold to which you laughed. “Remember Blue, no one can replace you. Whether or not I have millions of friends, you’ll be my best friend, my Blue, the only one I want. No one else, I don’t care what others think. My Blue, okay?”

Your mouth curved shyly, then nodded sincerely. “Then you’re my Hyungie, okay?”

“That shouldn’t be a question. I’m the only Hyungie in your life.” He scoffed, baffled at your ask, letting you feel more at ease. “I love you, Blue.” He kissed your temple numerous times.

“I love you too, Hyungie.” 

You continued your time there in each other’s embrace, having so much weight lifted off. Solace and comfort remained, feeling alive once again in each other’s eyes. A promise being held so high and mighty to reassure the other that they were the only one in the world for one another.

A promise that may seem broken years later, yet still kept so eminent that no one could even see. Not even you and him.

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee @thvxstf

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter V: Same Old, Different New

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: Underage alcohol consumption (in the flashback), everyone is basically in this chapter pls bear with me lol

Word Count: 11.5k

A/N: I'm so sorry for not posting last night HHHH I got sucked into doing something last minute but please enjoy!

Chapter V: Same Old, Different New || Series Masterlist

“Hyungie, open up.” You say as you held a spoonful of fish stew in front of your ill bedridden best friend.

Being at the ripe age of nine, Taehyung thought it was a good idea to play on one of the days of Geochang’s rainy season. Being his best friend, you were easily influenced despite the protests of both his parents and your grandparents. You both thought they were just there to ruin your fun, but in reality, it was to protect you because days after you got sick but not Taehyung for some miracle.

However, Taehyung made it his goal to take care of you such as feeding you, tucking you in bed, putting a cold cloth on your heated forehead, and giving you disgusting ginger lemon tea to help your sore throat.

Eventually, you got better within the week, but it was Taehyung’s turn to get sick and you immediately felt bad that he got it from you. Nonetheless, you made it your goal as well to care for your best friend.

Taehyung opened his mouth and took in the delicious content. He was pampered by the Gods, or in this case, you. You did the same thing, but better—his words, not yours. You fluffed his pillows, cuddled with him since you were immune to any sickness, and scratched his scalp to his liking.

“You’re the best at taking care of me.” He cheesed, wiggling in happiness under his blankets.

“Not as much as you did with me! Look I’m better!” You countered, giving him more spoonfuls of soup. “Plus, I’m the one who got you sick…”

“True, but I would be upset if it were anyone else. You’re an exception.” He reassured you. “If I got it from Eunjeong and Sungyeon, there would be problems.” You laughed at his sayings.

“You’re such a mean eldest brother.” You joked to which he pouted. “But you’re the best of best friends.”

The sides of his lips lifted upwards forming his rectangular smile. “Impossible. You’re number one, Blue.”

You hummed and shrugged, “Maybe to you. But you’re number one to me.” You tilted the bowl towards him, so he can finish it all up. He slurped the remaining in the dish and gasped in satisfaction, thanking you a million times more.

“Taehyung, stop. You don’t need to do that.” You pushed away the chopsticks holding a piece of tuna that Taehyung pushed in front of your face.

The morning arrived sooner than you liked and the hospital was filled with more murmurs and rushing health professionals from behind the door of your room. You were tired as hell, but the nurse suggested you eat first before going back to sleep. You were assigned to eat three meals daily due to your previous eating habits, so the tray before you had all the nutrients you needed for breakfast.

Though you expected to be alone by now, Taehyung was still right by your side. It made you curious that he was here and not at home. Didn’t he have like…a busy life as an idol? Now he was trying to feed you food.

You were a bit embarrassed by it but more so uncomfortable at how he was being. You remembered how you used to take care of one another when the other was sick, but this was different.

“But you need to eat, Blue.” He frowned. “Plus lemme take care of you like when we were younger.” He pushed, but the blank stare in your demeanor made him put the utensils down. You sighed in relief so that you could finally eat on your own.

“Don’t call me Blue. I may have said yes but you haven’t earned anything yet for you to call me that. That was before and now is different. Do you understand me? I also can eat for myself, it’s not like my limbs aren’t working. I’m grown too.” You informed with a stern tone as you mouthed a spoonful of rice. You saw him frown, biting his lip and nodding. You hated that you felt guilty for being cruel but it was true. You couldn’t let him in that easily. “But I appreciate what you’re doing for me. You know you can leave right?” You eased him, noticing how tensed he was before.

He nodded before licking his lips as a habit. “I know, but I don’t want you to be alone here. I remember how you get…”

He did it again, but this time you let it slide. You scrunched your face at the hard reality of those words. You really hated being by yourself, especially in new environments. You’ve been in Seoul for a little over half a year, but everywhere you went didn’t seem as right. Most likely because you were alone for the majority of the time, but you couldn’t do anything so you had to suck it up and get used to it.

“Thank you again.” You told him, politely smiling.

“No need to thank me, Bl—I mean, ___.” He chuckled nervously as he watched you eat more and more, looking appreciative at how you were stuffing your cheeks.

The atmosphere was somewhat awkward, but it wasn’t as bad as before. It just…needed some getting used to again. Taehyung was a person you held many memories with, then he vanished for years and now he was back, so it was difficult to approach it without acknowledging the gap and distance between you two. But hey, it was something.

“So…” You cleared your throat. “How long do I have to be here?”

“I told them a month because you needed to rest, but I knew you would complain…”

“And you’re right about that.” You responded, sipping on some orange juice.

“So the doctors compromised with two weeks,” Taehyung informed as he drank his hot chocolate. You pondered that he was still anti-coffee after all these years, but never told him.

“Two weeks is too long. I don’t have any illness or broken anything really. I still have work and scho—”

“While you were out, Kenji and Seojoon Hyung were with me before they left for the night. Kenji told me to tell you that you’re off until you were in stable condition.” He reported as he leaned back into his chair.

“But—”

“He also mentioned that I should fight you until you agreed. His words, not mine.” The idol grinned, remembering the little complaint the younger man displayed. But then the smile vanished as to why he took the advice from someone that barely knew you. Also though Kenji meant no harm, it felt like poison in the idol’s veins every time you interacted with your coworker.

You slapped your palms over your eyes and groaned. “Then he mustn’t know how expensive staying at a hospital is. It’s gonna cost me a for—”

“No, I paid for everything.” He shook his head before you looked at him flabbergasted.

Your jaw dropped as you blinked dumbly, “No, you shouldn’t have. Stop—”

“Why not? ___, you haven’t taken care of yourself properly. You were literally dehydrated and starving yourself, in addition to putting all this unnecessary stress on you. Kenji told me you’re working seven days now while still in school!” Why did Kenji know so much about you? Taehyung grew concerned and wanted to know who your coworker exactly was. “I know we’re still in a weird purgatory with our friendship that we rekindled three hours ago, but I still care for you, if not more than before, whether or not we grew apart. I don’t like when you do this to yourself, you of all people should know. It’s not healthy, and you know I’m right.”

He was scolding, and you were pissed, but you couldn’t deny that he was right. Similar events happened like this where you would faint in school or at home. They weren’t chronic, but it was mainly due to having so much stress at a very young age. Your body went into overdrive at certain points where it couldn’t handle thus blacking out. Stressors came from socializing, helping your family farm on the weekends, your elderly grandparents aging, studying in school, the list could go on and vary by the person.

Taehyung was there for almost all of your fainting and stood by you while holding your hand to ensure that you weren’t feeling as stressed. He’d scold you, kinda like now, but it was because he was worried. He tried doing the most for you, whether it was being the first to speak to someone, to helping you on the farm to assisting you and your grandparents with some daily stretches, to reduce muscle tension.

“Y—you’re right…” You exhaled as you glanced at him. His pupils dilated with his lips apart, surprised that you were being levelheaded with him rather than yelling. “This was my first faint in Seoul, so I’m sure everyone except you didn’t know what to do.”

Taehyung hummed faintly before his eyebrows pushed together, “Did you faint after…you know…I—” He hated mentioning it, but it happened. Fortunately, you knew what he was talking about so you nodded.

“A lot during my undergraduate years actually…” This brought an aching frown onto the idol’s face. “I was never alone though. I had roommates who helped and it was usually surrounded by crowds. Although it was sometimes too much for them…”

Saturated silence covered the room, though it was even lighter compared to a couple of minutes ago. Maybe it was that you were both “catching up,” but this wasn’t something you’d expect with “catching up.”

Nevertheless, Taehyung reached for your hand and opened your palm out. Using his thumbs, he applied pressure to it, thumbing down your skin. He has done this before as past time while you were both doing nothing but having your quality time. “I wish for you to never go through with that again. If so, I hope that it would happen when you’re with me.” He spoke timidly, being careful with his wording. “Please take care of yourself. I don’t wanna see you in a hospital again unless you’re giving birth.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed as you tried hiding the laughter within you, “You’re a shithead, you know that?”

“Mmm, no. I’ve heard asshole and dick.” He shrugged as a light smirk formed on his lips. You looked away as you continued finishing your food. “But I really am serious when I say to take care of yourself. Now if you want me to take c—”

“I’m not making you do that.”

“Then you take care of yourself.” He stated. “Saying you’re a grown woman, yet you drink three cans of Coke as a meal??”

You pouted, having no comeback so you finally let it go and agreed. “Fine, but the hospital bill. You didn’t need to do that.”

“I want to and I can. It’s all part of caring for you, okay?”

You sighed before nodding. You were still careful of him, but you accepted his presence back into your life. Improvements were being made slowly but surely. You wondered how this would go.

The nurse came by again to give Taehyung a complimentary meal. Perks of being an idol you assumed but as she settled the tray down, she turned her head to say, “By the way, Mr. Kim. There’s someone outside of the room. She said she has been notified by one of the people on the entry list for Miss ___.”

Before Taehyung could even speak, you interjected. “It’s probably Halmeoni. Kenji must have told her where I was and wanted to check up on me. Send her in.”

The nurse has a puzzled expression but merely nodded as she left the room. Taehyung shifted back at you and said, “You have a nice boss…”

“Well, ye—” You barely completed your sentence as the door slammed open, flinching you and Taehyung. Your eyes searched for the sound, then creased your forehead at this newcomer. She was definitely not Halmeoni, not even being a Halmeoni. 

But Taehyung knew exactly who she was. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, dressed in her athleisure wear, yet sported a YSL crossbody bag. Her face writhed with frustration, but eyes bounced off of him and you, someone who she doesn’t know.

The idol got up from his seat and faced his body to his girlfriend. “C-Clara—“

“Tae, where have you been? You’ve been gone the entire night and missed our morning walk together.” Clara complained as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Since you were with Seojoon Oppa, I called him and ask where you were and he said the hospital. I came right away thinking you were hurt, but the front desk told me you were a visitor and—”

Her eyes landed on you. Nothing on you or your face screamed familiarity to her mind. Her brain couldn’t click at the sight of you, but her thoughts questioned who were you and how you knew her boyfriend. But despite looking rather sickly, the socialite deemed the visual of South Korea thought you were pretty.

Intimidatingly and competitively pretty.

“Who’s she?” Clara simply asked Taehyung who was practically a goldfish.

No thoughts were running through his mind right now. He didn’t expect to let his girlfriend meet his childhood best friend. If anything, that was at the very bottom of his thoughts list. Yet it still happened…earlier than he wanted, and when did he want it? Never at all.

Judging by her behavior, questions, and the worried look plastered on her face, you recollected the subtle memory of Jungkook revealing that Taehyung had a girlfriend of five years.

This was probably the girlfriend in front of you.

Unnoticeably to the two, you scrutinized her. You bit the inside of your cheeks. She looked familiar, probably someone famous but not in the entertainment industry. Regardless, she was drop-dead gorgeous, making you feel a bit insecure. So this was Taehyung’s type? Huh, couldn’t blame him. He was always uniquely handsome, a stunning visual.

But he was being an idiot right now by not answering his girlfriend’s question. You didn’t want her to accuse you of something. She looked approachable—kinda not really—, but your intuition says she could use her power over you.

So you decided to step in. “You must be…” Her irises diverted to you again as your brain worked its magic. “Clara, his girlfriend? Taehyung has told me so much about you.”

The idol finally resumed as he snapped back towards you with a stupefied look. The both of you knew it was a straight-up lie, but you eyed him out before laying them back on his pissed-off girlfriend and smiled. “I must say you’re very pretty and graceful in person.”

All of sudden, the tension peeled off her body when a smile formed on her. “He has?” She cooed as she stepped closer to the bed. You nodded and grinned. Fuck, you were prettier up close, an approachable and family-winning face, she thought. “Tae, aren’t you gonna introduce me to her? I mean she already knows bu—”

You giggled and Clara couldn’t help but observe your every move. Meanwhile, Taehyung rolled his eyes but guessed it was time. “So Clara, this is ___ ___. She’s my childhood best friend from Geochang.” He presented you with such precision, hiding an exciting smile. But then glanced at Clara who kept her stare at you. “___, this is Na Clara. My…girlfriend.”

“Childhood best friend?” The socialite pointed out before looking at her boyfriend. “You never told me you had a childhood best friend.”

Taehyung scratched the back of his head, not out of nervousness but you could sense a bit of irritation, but Clara doesn’t notice a thing. “Uhh, we had a falling out before I debuted. I thought it was over…But we met again a couple of weeks back when I was out with Seojoon Hyung and Wooshik Hyung.”

“Oh, so it’s been a while since you reunited with her?” Clara questioned, biting her pink-coated lips. “Why didn’t you tell me about her now, at least?”

Taehyung seemed appalled at her behavior. “Why does it—”

Oh, no. You refused to listen to this potential fight, so you butted it again. “Uhh, I’m practically irrelevant in his life now. He’s right about the childhood best friend, but it’s more was. I’m just an acquaintance. It was nice of him to visit—“

“___, you’re not irrelevant.” Taehyung gloomed, but you didn’t care as you were trying to save his ass.

“Either way, it was nice meeting you. I hope to see you again.” You greeted the socialite before glaring at the idol. “I think you should go and say whatever you have to say elsewhere.” As if you conversed this with him through your mind, he got the gist that you didn’t want to see an argument happening. Yet his eyes widened for a sign of your reassurance of being alone. “I’ll be fine, I promise. Kenji texted that he’ll visit later today.” It was another white lie, but he may come knowing how much his grandparents would nag him to bring you homemade dishes. 

Taehyung’s eye twitched at the mention of Kenji. He wanted to say a thing or two but restrained himself as he wasn’t in a position to do so. So he gave in and nodded. “Be safe, okay? If you need anything, just text me.”

“Don’t worry so much, Mr. Big-Shot Idol. I’ll be fine.” You smiled comfortingly, which eased Taehyung.

“It was nice meeting you too!” Clara spoke back, waving goodbye. “Maybe we can hang out sometime.”

You didn’t know if you wanted that, but you nodded civilly. You began to question if bringing Taehyung back into your life was the right decision.

-

“I can’t believe you fucking came!” Taehyung banged the front door open, stomping inside and through the entranceway. Clara closed the door behind her and rushed behind him. She watched as he paced around the living room, not caring if he had shoes inside the house. “Barging into the room like that, have you no shame at all?”

“I do have shame! Why’d you think I waited outside until I got permission.” Clara reasoned.

“Didn’t Hyung tell you that I wasn’t hurt?”

“No, he told me that you’ve been at the hospital the whole night if you weren’t back home.” She explained. He groaned at Seojoon’s choice of words. “He didn’t say anything else because I hung up and came rushing! You had me worried sick! I thought something happened to you!”

“Well, I’m fine as you can fucking see.” The idol said sardonically.

Clara sighed, trying to be as rational as possible. “So, that girl…what even happened anyway?”

Taehyung slummed himself onto the couch and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair. 

“She fainted at work because of exhaustion and stress. She tends to do that, so I had to make sure she’s fine since she has no family in Seoul.”

The socialite wrinkled her face, gathering more questions. “And she really is your childhood best friend? You’re not ch—”

“Why do you always think I’m cheating if I encounter another girl or hang out with anyone but you?” The idol retorted as he puts pressure on his temples. “I gave you no fucking reason for you to accuse me of cheating. Don’t you trust me?”

“I do! I ju—”

“You just nothing.” He interrupted. “Don’t stay shit like that if there’s no reason.”

“I’m sorry! It’s just…” She bit her lips, rubbing her bicep at his statement. “She’s really pretty, Taehyung.”

Taehyung squinted his eyes at her, incredulous to say the least. “How do you even want me to respond to that? Aren’t you like getting compliments and praise left and right? This was never an issue?”

Her face twisted then shrugged, “It’s not. I’m just saying…How long have you known her?”

Taehyung protruded his lips out, debating if he should tell her. He wasn’t necessarily against sharing things about you, but it was different with his…girlfriend. It didn’t feel right to do so, Taehyung knew deep down.

However, if he wanted you to be back in his life, this also meant showing you to others who were a part of his life after you, including Clara and his other members. He couldn’t keep you all to himself. He felt iffy about it, but he had to no matter what. “Well, if you must know, we’ve known each other for almost twenty years. But I haven’t seen her for nearly half of it. She’s known Kim Taehyung before all of this.”

Clara had something in her eyes that Taehyung couldn’t figure out. Wondering? Curious? Jealous? It was difficult to explain, but he didn’t think it was a bad sign. To save his brain all the trouble, she finally spoke. “How do you feel meeting her again?”

The idol was taken aback, not expecting her to ask that. It was weird but somewhat appreciative. “Uhh, it’s good? She kinda hates me, but she’s willing to be friends again.”

“Why would you say she hates you?”

“Like what was said earlier, we had a falling out.”

“Why?”

“Jesus, how many questions do you have?” He fussed.

“She’s literally the only person who knew you the longest other than your family. She probably knows everything about you and I’m curious.” She casually replied.

“Maybe more than she admits though…” He mumbled and she couldn’t get what he said. But before she could ask him, he went ahead and said, “We had a falling out because I was a complete dick to her and basically ignored her after moving to Seoul.”

Taehyung closed his eyes, not knowing how painful it must have been for you. You needed him, but he wasn’t there for you. The guilt oozed inside him. Though he couldn’t make it up, he hoped that he could rekindle your friendship and regain your trust in little to no time.

“So she was just a friend?” Clara brought him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, why?” Taehyung answered swiftly. She blinked at her boyfriend whilst he stared back in confusion. He gave no other indications. Strange…he told the truth but there was a faint sparkle in his eyes.

“Well, if she’s a part of your life again, then maybe we can hang out with her. Bring her to parties, don’t you think?” Clara suggested. “After all, she has no one in Seoul.”

Taehyung hated that he liked her idea. He agreed that he should bring you into some get-togethers, but not spend time with his girlfriend and best friend together. Yet it was part of his way into helping you heal your scars and open you up to trusting people again, including himself. He wanted you to get back on your feet socially, and that was something he wanted to do.

-

Weeks went by and you were still cautious of Taehyung, but you couldn’t help to admit that you missed him. You forgot how much his aura made your day. He looked weary most of the time, but his demeanor spun a 180 when he came to visit you. Sometimes he was with Jimin, Jungkook, Seojoon, and even Clara shockingly. There were moments where she’d watch your every move but nothing too intense. The girl seemed friendly and wanted to get to know you a little better, but of course, you were still traumatized from the past girls who approached you. Heck, even the others wanted to know you too.

But once he was alone, he was reassured that they meant no harm and were genuine. More or less for Clara, but she was his girlfriend after all. Despite all, Taehyung made it a routine to visit you while you were in the hospital, interrogating you if you ate or drank water which you did.

By the time, you were discharged. You glowed radiantly like a goddess and plumper in the face and cheeks, looking like the Blue he knew and loved. Though you told him not to, he always called you Blue in his head and sometimes with Jungkook and Jimin.

You still couldn’t go back to work as your boss instructed you to come back a month after leaving the hospital, which was bullshit from your perspective. But it gave you time to rest and focus on school. You were doubtful of it, but knowing you couldn’t do anything about it, you nodded. It was difficult to find a job as is, and finding a job that worked with your hours was a needle in the haystack.

But still, you were grateful for your bosses. They even closed an hour or two within their business hours to visit you. They gave you so many side dishes and stews while ranting to you about how they missed their favorite worker and how terrible Kenji was by himself.

While Kenji was there too.

More weeks passed and you were finally able to work again. You went back to working five days now. Halmeoni refused to give you any more, even insisted on doing less but you denied it and stuck with your regular shifts. With that, Taehyung also visited and ate at the restaurant. You were still his server, but this time, you actually held a conversation with him and treated him warmly. There was still distance, he could sense that kilometers away but he enjoyed every minute of it.

One night, he and Jungkook stayed back and helped clean the restaurant up. Your bosses and Kenji didn’t deny the free labor from the handsome rich idols, so you let it be. Less stress for you maybe.

Kenji left quickly for the day as he had a group project to work on, so you were left alone to close up. Once you hung your apron on the hook, you turned to Jungkook who called your name. You shouldered your bag and tilted your head. “So my birthday is coming up, and I was wondering if you would like to come.”

You scrunched your nose, and a million thoughts ran through your mind. “I-I’m invited? You really want me to come?”

Jungkook gawked blankly at you. You looked so serious and worried. He turned to his older member and Taehyung only nodded at your behavior. “O-of course, ___. I’m inviting you right now! I’d love for you to come.”

“Oh.” You said quietly. You bit your lips and fiddled with your fingers, wondering what to say. “Ummm, when and where is it?”

“It’ll be next Saturday! You don’t work weekends right?” You shook your head, making Jungkook grin in happiness. “It starts at 8 PM. It’ll be at Taehyungie Hyung’s house.”

“Why is it at his and not yours?”

Jungkook blushed hard at your thoughtless question. He felt a bit embarrassed to say it, but Taehyung chimed in. “Jungkookie’s house is not fit to invite guests. It’s not messy, just structured unusually.”

“I just have a lot of stuff…” The younger member tried defending himself, but it didn’t seem solid.

“So you think you could come ___?” Taehyung asked, hoping you say yes.

“I…I love to, but who’ll be there?” You were asking many questions because you feared it would be a full-on party to which you’d take back your acceptance.

“Don’t worry. Hyung says you’re not comfortable with big parties.” You eyed Taehyung out for exposing your shyness. “I’m also shy too, so I don’t have many friends. It’ll just be our members, some partners, maybe some of Tae’s Wooga Hyungs, my close idol friends, and my brother is coming into town. It’ll just be a grilling dinner, really. I promise. Maybe even karaoke.” Jungkook comforted your hesitancy and you appreciated him for that.

In fact, besides getting closer to Taehyung, you’ve also grown fond of Jungkook and Seojoon. Though you barely spoke to Seojoon, he was there for many occurrences but he seemed comforting. Jimin seemed too much for you that you were overwhelmed, but he meant well. Also, his eye contact scared you. Jungkook was a good ground. Maybe because he was younger and shy like you.

You nodded before smiling tenderly. A breathtaking sight in both Jungkook and Taehyung. Taehyung being that it was been a while since he has seen you smile so genuinely. Jungkook being that he may have a teeny tiny crush on you. You just looked so gentle. “I’ll be there, but I may need the address.”

“I’ll send it to you,” Taehyung announced.

“Why not me?” Jungkook pouted.

“It’s my house address.”

“Point taken.”

-

It was the following weekend and the older members were preparing the food on the table. Jungkook was busy greeting his guests, Jimin and Wooshik were having a conversation, Clara did some last-minute cleaning and Taehyung was scared shitless for you.

This was the first time he asked you to hang out beyond your work. Well, technically Jungkook asked but it still counted. This will also be the first time you actually meet almost everyone new in his life. This was new territory for you, because not only being introduced to new people, but these were also idols, artists, and influencers. He knew you were nothing like them, you probably knew too. He knew you were nervous and scared to be outside of your comfort zone. He only wished to keep you calm and relaxed the whole night through.

But for him? Taehyung didn’t really understand you. When you first met again, you ignored him. Then, you were vile and snappy. Next, you were still mean but at least you spoke to him civilly. Now you were a little bit approachable. You were hot and cold, mainly cold but he didn’t know where he stood in this. Were you even willing to be in a friendship with him? You don’t seem like you wanted it, despite the friendlier exchanges. He felt lost and didn’t know how to talk about it with you.

“Babe, you okay?” Taehyung felt arms wrapped around his waist, startling him. He looked down and spotted Clara looking curious, noticing how tense he was. “You seem frazzled.”

“Just a lot going on.” He replied. Her grip loosened as she lets go but held one of his hands.

“Are the sessions doing okay?”

His jaw hardened. Of course, she’d ask that. “Yeah, they’re great.” He answered, but sarcasm rang around it.

She hummed before grabbing a filled glass of wine from a tray. She sipped the content before saying, “Who else is Kookie inviting?” She scanned the room, getting more and more packed with familiar faces.

As if Jungkook heard, he stopped by the couple. “Where’s ___?”

“You invited her too?” Clara’s eyes widened in shock.

“Yeah, she’s my friend too.” Jungkook cheesed in pride, but it made Taehyung’s eyes twitch. “Is she coming?”

The front door opened and the three’s attention went toward who was coming in. The two youngest members thought it was you, but three men stepped in—Wooga Squad, Hyungsik, Seojoon, Sunghwan, and Namhyuk. Taehyung pierced his eyes at Namhyuk. It seemed that he finally had time to hang out after months. It was good to see, he thought, but still felt weirded out.

Clara waved at the older men and greeted them. She excused herself to hug all three of them, happy to see their attendance. Her boyfriend observed their interactions, feeling nothing, and had no comments. 

“Did she text you?” Jungkook asked, growing worried. “Did you send her the right address?”

“Chill, bro.” Taehyung cocked an eyebrow. “She’ll come, she doesn’t back out. She’s probably just worried or lost. I live a little out of Seoul.”

“Doesn’t she know us though?”

“Yeah, but it’s different than showing face. She needs to be eased into these kinds of things.” Taehyung informed the younger as his eyes went towards the door. “Believe me, I know.”

Jungkook raised his brow at him. “Really? You know.” He knew you were his childhood best friend, but he acted like no shit happened between you two until recently. “Hyung, she’s not fifteen anymore. It’s different.”

But Taehyung diverted his eyes, staring seriously at his member. “Whether she’s fifteen or twenty-five, I know her. Things are different now, but there are still those same old things I know too well like the back of my hand.” The conversation ended there, but there were still some things Jungkook wanted to say. But he went against them, or else people would know about his interest in you.

But Taehyung knew by the looks of it and he didn’t like it one bit.

Taehyung’s phone rang and he instantly checked who it was—you were calling. He excused himself away from Jungkook so that he doesn’t hear your conversation. Once he was at a distance from the crowd, he answered and greeted you.

“I think I’m here?” You announced through the speakers. “These houses are too big and it took me an hour to get here.”

“Why didn’t you call me to come to get you? You would have been here sooner.”

“You’re literally hosting it at your house. I could never ask you that.” You countered. He heard shuffling in the background, most likely you were carrying something else. “It’s fine because I was running late anyway.”

“You know you can knock, right?” He gazed at the entrance, waiting for some kind of sound.

“I know, but…well, I’m gonna be honest. I’ve been here for almost thirty minutes. I even saw Seojoon and the others go in but I hid behind a car.”

“What, why?”

“I’m nervous, Taehyung.” You squeaked, breathing slowly. “People like you, they don’t like me as much.”

He hated your doubts, wanting to take them away from you. “Don’t say that, ___. You know almost half of them and they like you. The rest will like you too.”

“You think so?”

“Of course and I never lie to you.”

You respired, “Okay, but like can you get me? I feel awkward coming in by myself.”

He smiled pleasantly. “Yeah, I’ll be there. See you soon.” You ended the call and Taehyung began walking through the guests.

“Is ___ here?” Jungkook begged him once the call ended. 

“___’s coming?” Jimin’s eyes shined in glee.

“Wait, ___?” Yoongi heard your name. “Your best friend, ___?”

“Why is she coming? Did you two make up?” Hoseok wondered. “Jungkook, you know about this?”

“I invited her!” The youngest publicized. “She’s my friend now!”

Wooshik gasped, “You brought the cute waitress friend from the restaurant?”

Taehyung pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oh my God, before anyone else speaks, yes to all—Wait, why are you calling her cute—You know what? Never mind. She’s here actually, but don’t stare at her like some woodland creature! She’s nervous about meeting all of you so cut her some slack.” His eyes roamed his friends who stood quietly, even nodding. “I’ll go get her.” He resumed his walk out. 

“Wait, why not me?” Jungkook asked.

“She asked me to,” Taehyung muttered before opening the entrance and stepping outside.

The idol eyeballed over his driveway and front lawn, but there were still no signs of you. He walked down the porch stairs and called your name. All of sudden, a neatly curled head of hair popped up from behind a parked car. You walked around the vehicle, fully revealing yourself to him and Taehyung’s irises widened.

In addition to your hair styled softly curled, this was the first time he saw you in makeup. It was natural and enhanced, but you had a touch of red on your lips. You usually bare-faced into work, most likely because you were too tired to care. But what made him blown away was the dress you wore. A faint tangerine hue midi dress with thin straps that had floral patterns precisely spread across the fabric, the skirt of the dress flowed like a mermaid. You paired it off with some nude block heels.

Taehyung gulped at your appearance. It was so you like how he remembered, but so… mature and grown. This really was you, his best friend ever since he was young. His Blue. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you until you clear your throat.

“Stop staring, it doesn’t help my anxiousness.” You went up to him and pushed the tray of confectionery into his hands.

“S-sorry.” He apologized before looking down at what you gave him. He inspected it a little longer before he gasped in utter disbelief. “Are these…”

“Yes, they’re my butter mochi.” You finished his ask with a reply. “I didn’t have time, nor money to buy him something. I also don’t know what an idol would want besides name-brand things. I slept late last night to make them…Do you think he’ll like it?”

His eyes met your worried ones, but he couldn’t help to find endearment in your concerns. “Of course, ___. He’ll love them. Jungkook is literally a hyena with any food.”

You exhaled as you flattened your dress down, “Is this too much? This isn’t even mine. I had to borrow this from Kenji’s sister and she lent me some make—”

“___, you’re blabbering.”

“I know I told you I was nervous, but is it really showing?”

“Unfortunately, it is.” He spoke honestly, to which you groaned. “But again, you’ll be okay. With all the hype Jungkook and Jimin have been giving you, I’m sure you’ll be greatly loved.” You rolled your eyes at the thought of those two being blatantly obvious with their flirting. You also knew that Jungkook had a little crush on you. “You know Jungkook has a crush on you right?”

“Don’t even remind me. I feel bad because I don’t. I barely know the guy too.” You vocalized into the air. For some reason, your rejection of his member mitigated his worries. He knew Jungkook would be upset about it, but at least it wouldn’t be as much of a problem. 

“Let’s go inside. Everyone’s dying to meet you.” Taehyung guided you toward the entrance. He had his hand on the knob and before he twisted it, he stared at you once more and said, “You look beautiful, by the way.” He averted back to the door to open, and it was a good thing he was focused on that otherwise he would have seen the rosiness of your cheeks creeping up.

As you entered and took your shoes off, you tried your best to push negative thoughts and useless concerns out of your head. You cheered yourself on that Taehyung was right about them liking you. Once you reached the end of the entranceway, you felt many pairs of eyes on you like you were new meat. Technically, you were so you viewed them back with big doe-eyes. You gripped your hands together, playing with them to ease yourself.

“Everyone, meet ___! She’s my childhood best friend from Geochang.” Taehyung presented you to his friends who ogled at your form.

You grinned followed by a wave or two at his members and other guests you didn’t know besides the ones you saw at your work. “Hello, nice to meet you all.”

“JK, she made her famous butter mochi. It’s the best thing in the whole world.” Taehyung walked towards his youngest member and handed him the tray.

“I’ll eat these with pride and honor, ___. Thank you!” Jungkook praised and you chuckled with satisfaction. Hoseok eyed the treats out, but the youngest pushed them away from his eyes to see.

Meanwhile, the rest continued to peer in your direction. You didn’t know what to do. Though your reflex was to cling onto Taehyung like before, it would be questionable, especially with Clara’s eyes on you. They were filled with blankness, but still. So you stayed still and tapped on your appendages.

“You’re ___?” Seokjin was the first among them to ask. You nodded then came more questions. “You were the one who talked to Taehyung late at night when we were trainees?”

You laughed nervously, cringing at how you were being. “Yeah, it was a long time ago but…you remembered?”

“How could I forget losing my sleep because of that?” Yoongi added in, making some of the crowd laugh. “Always hearing damn laughter from the other side of the room.”

“You’re pretty.” Namjoon blurted out, grabbing the attention of everyone, particularly Taehyung. “Like, super attractive.”

“Isn’t she?” Wooshik cheesed. “Yah, you look healthier too. I’m so happy for you.”

“Good to see the voice that haunted our sleep,” Hoseok mentioned jokingly. “I mean it in the nicest way possible.”

“Oh, thank you.” You responded but it sounded like a question. The pink hue crept back up into your cheeks. “Uhhhhh…”

Jimin came into the conversation, “You know ___ is single—”

“Okay, we’re not getting into that,” Taehyung interjected as he went to your side. “Feel free to get to know ___, but not too much.” He focused his pupils on Namjoon, Jungkook, and Jimin. “Go easy on her. This is her first party in Seoul.”

Jimin then linked his arm around yours, surprising you as you gawked at his action. “Come, ___. Sit by me tonight.”

You were about to protest, but you were getting dragged towards the table with Jungkook and Wooshik following suit, asking you so many questions. You turned back to see Taehyung bewildered with his mouth open.

You were stolen from him.

Taehyung felt a smaller hand intertwined with his, knowing that it was his girlfriend. Clara looked at him, but he continued to look at your overwhelmed stature as Namjoon asked you about your schooling.

The socialite giggled lightly and squeezed his hand. “Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. Just enjoy yourself.” Taehyung hummed gingerly, knowing you’ll be okay but kept an eye on you the whole night through.

-

You would think that winning the soccer championship games in your second year of high school called for a celebration. Even Taehyung thought so, but he didn’t think it would be this vast. 

It felt like everyone and their moms were here squished up together, shoulder to shoulder in this house. Taehyung practically bulldozed over people to get to his destination and he couldn’t quite indicate where his destination was with all these invitees.

His captain and sunbae, Jungjae, hosted a “small” get-together at his house to which Taehyung got granted permission by his parents and brought you along to jubilate with him. But once you arrived, you noticed his parents weren’t around, more people than the team multiplying by the minute, older ones who brought alcohol and juice, and breaths running down your necks. 

Neither of you expected it, and to his dismay, Taehyung was ripped away from you as his teammates were greeting and introducing him to their friends and it just went downhill. He got pressured into drinking the bitter taste of soju as a team bonding. Now he maneuvered his way through the sardines of bodies, trying to figure out where you were. He scoped the area, hoping to some kind of characteristic of you. He was near the back of the house, noting the lawn with the large pool in the middle of it. Jungjae was from a well-off family, so it made sense. But no one dared to go outside, since all the fun was inside.

“Hey, Tae!” A hand rested on his shoulder. He turned and saw it was one of his teammates, Kim Minjae, who was the same year as him. “How you’ve been?” He offered a cup of an unknown alcoholic substance but Taehyung denied it.

“I’m good, it’s…this party is wild.” He had to shout his answer over the blaring sounds of the music.

“I know right? Maybe even hoping to get with someone tonight.” Minjae smirked as he gulped down his drink. Taehyung did not want to envision his teammate trying to stick his dick somewhere. He needed to find you, thinking that you’re probably very uncomfortable right now. 

“Good luck with that, I guess,” Taehyung commented, more to himself.

But it was when Minjae gasped and smacked Taehyung’s chest to grab his attention again. “Her, that one. I’m calling it.” His teammate pointed over and Taehyung followed the direction. “Pretty in the black dress.” Once he landed his eyes at Minjae’s “target,” Taehyung almost had smoke blowing out of his nose.

Through the transparent sliding door, you sat outside at the edge of the pool. At the end of your feet, there was a cup resting. You looked into the door, seeing all the “fun” happening. You were so easily turned off by what was happening in the house, you stepped outside to be alone. The crowd alarmed you, so you left it immediately and sat there in solitude.

“She’s even alone, this is perfect,” Minjae observed before chugging down the alcohol. “I’m going in.”

Before he could even do anything, Taehyung stopped him, pulling his teammate back. “No, you’re not. I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“Aww, did you call dibs already?”

“There’s no dibs. She’s my best friend.” Taehyung scoffed. “I’m not letting you go near her!” His voice got lower, and the protectiveness with you heightened so much more, seeing that Minjae tried to do something.

“Geez, alright, I won’t.” Minjae back offed, noting how angry Taehyung got. But despite all this, he was being a drunk idiot. “She is hot though. Did you tap th—”

“Leave before I punch you in the fucking throat!”

“Okay, bro. No need for violence.” His teammate raised his palms out as he surrendered. He eyed you out before shifting his eyes at Taehyung, then ultimately leaving before a fight broke out.

He didn’t bother to look back because Taehyung sped towards your direction, pushing people away with no remorse. He slid the door open, catching your eyes. Once you saw your best friend, your calmed face morphed into great relief with the pout you pushed out your mouth. “Blue.”

“Hyungie.” You got up from your seated position and ran into his arms to feel his embrace. “I don’t like this. I thought you said it was the team and their plus ones.”

“I thought so too.” Your best friend sighed. “But I guess Jungjae Hyung wanted to go all out for his final year.”

You sniffed his shirt, analyzing his smell. You held his chin to open his mouth before wafting his breath. “You drank.” You stared sternly.

“You too!” He didn’t want to be at fault for everything. “There’s a cup right there.”

“I was offered one but I didn’t drink it. I fled before they even noticed.”

Guilt consumed him as he couldn’t deny your allegations. “I was told to. It was for the team, but after that, I didn’t take another sip.”

“I’m not mad at you.” You giggled as you held his cheeks in your palms. “I’m just tryna give you a heads up because your parents may be up and will notice smells.”

Taehyung pondered that for a minute before a sly smirk appeared, “What if I sleep over? It is a weekend. Your grandparents are asleep, no?”

You threw your head back in laughter and shook your head, “Can’t believe you’re taking advantage of my elderly grandparents and their early bedtime.”

“Better than getting punished by my parents.” He shrugged oh so innocently before pecking your temple. “Let’s leave, Blue?”

“Mmm, yes please.” You tangled your fingers together and readied yourself. “Before we go home, let’s go to a convenience store. I want ice cream or a soda. Any liquid in the house is mixed with alcohol.”

He lifted your intertwined hands and poke his nose at your skin. “I’ll treat. A reward for putting up with this damn antic.”

“Can’t deny a hard bargain, Hyungie.” You agreed as you pointed over towards a gate. You spent much time outside, you were able to inspect the perimeter. “We can leave through there. No one will know we left.”

“I’m sure they won’t even know anything. They’re all drunk out of their minds.” He pulled you as you ran through the grass. You escaped the madhouse and made your own adventure with some strawberry juice and vanilla ice cream. 

-

Hours later, people were drunk out of their minds and dancing to Yoongi and Namjoon singing through the karaoke microphone. The birthday boy knocked out on the couch, cuddling up to Jimin while the older held a conversation with one of the guests. Hoseok was sitting in the corner, red as a tomato. Seokjin sat next to him reading webtoons. Seojoon, Hyungsik, and Wooshik sat on the floor and engaged in a nonsense conversation  Everyone was scattered around the house.

Taehyung was chilling on the other side of the couch. He didn’t bother where Clara was. The last thing she told him was that she was going to go to their bedroom upstairs since she felt drowsy, but that was over an hour ago. Other than her, he had to be a good host and make sure everyone was fine or not breaking any of the home decors.

So he stood up and walked around the house, inspecting that everything was alright. But as scoped out the areas, he realized something—you were nowhere to be seen. The last occurrence he remembered in the night was during the cutting of Jungkook’s birthday cake. The youngest tried to feed you some of his first slice. You denied it but he insisted and pulled the birthday card, so you had no reason but to.

In fact, Taehyung was never able to even spend time with you as everyone kept talking to you and Clara clung to his side at all times. Questions were asked like how long you’ve been in Seoul, how was Geochang, how you met Taehyung, where you go to school and what was your major, which Taehyung found out that it was Masters in Education through overhearing conversations. You always loved helping and educating others, especially him.

However, the main question of the night was what exactly happened between you and Taehyung. The members knew, but everyone else didn’t. Considering his friends saw you go from ignoring him to ridiculing him to having a genuine conversation, it spiked many wonders and thoughts. They were so curious since you were the person that knew Taehyung the longest, almost your entire life. You were practically a portal of history to who was Taehyung before being famous and the celebrity everyone knew and loved.

On contrary, you actually didn’t say much about it other than the “falling out,” even throwing a small fib that since Taehyung was away and have gotten busy, you grew apart as time went on. The members didn’t even argue but had confused looks. Taehyung didn’t know why you did that, especially all that he did to you. Maybe saving face, but who really knew?

Your answers were short and simple, not going in-depth with anything and definitely not with Jimin’s questions about dating and preferences. Taehyung was bothered by why his friend asked them but realized that Jimin was just curious about that realm. To be honest, he doesn’t think his member even has an interest. He just wanted to know things.

Now Taehyung’s mind dwelled on your whereabouts. You didn’t say you were leaving. Were you okay? It was barely midnight. He checked the bathrooms and they were empty, even the guest bedrooms, and still got nothing.

He went up to his members and asked, “Have you seen ___?” Jimin, Seokjin, and Hoseok looked up at him and crinkled their eyebrows in thought.

“The last time I saw her was before Jungkook was knocked out.” Jimin nudged the birthday boy who continued to be out cold.

“Maybe she went home?” Seokjin proposed with Hoseok drunkenly nodded quietly.

Taehyung shook his head, “She would have told us, especially since it’s pretty late. I wouldn’t even let her leave all by herself.”

“I’m sure she’s fine, Tae.” Jimin tried reassuring his best friend. “You’ve been worried about her the whole night through. I’m sure she had fun.”

There was so much Taehyung wanted to say, but bit back and nodded. He glanced at Yoongi and Namjoon still going strong at karaoke. “I need some water.” He announced before leaving to go to the kitchen.

He filled a glass up and chugged it down. He had a mild headache on his shoulders, still feeling worried about you. All he wanted was to know you were okay. Though this was small, it was still a party and people did pummel you with everything they got. In a way, it got too much for you.

Wait, he realized. When you were overwhelmed, you had a habit of walking away and being by—

Barking interrupted his thought process. It was Yeontan and sounded like it was coming from the backyard. On another thought, he hasn’t seen his pet the entire night so he was now concerned about two things.

The idol headed towards the back entrance and discovered the sliding door was opened a big wide, enough for his dog to stroll through. As his eyes searched for Yeontan, a gust of relief hit his face.

Not only did he find his dog bouncing and panting in joy, but Yeontan also kept you company as you sat on the patio and ate a slice of cake while talking to his dog. Your bare feet up and crossed onto the chair across “No, I can’t give you cake. There might be chemicals in here that are poison for you.” You spoke accordingly as you forked a piece into your mouth. “Not for me though. I am human and you are a dog.”

Yeontan cocked his head to the side before crawling towards your legs and jumping, whining his little heart for you. You placed the plate down on the table to grab the furry creature. “Okay, I’ll let you sit on my lap again.” The second you settled him on you, he curled up into a ball and laid down before closing his eyes. He cuddled his head into your lower stomach. “You get so cuddly. Reminds me of your father when we were younger.” You patted his fur down continuously.

Taehyung’s heart skipped at the scene. It was wholesome and sweet that he enjoyed every minute of the interaction. Also, the fact that you still knew his habit of cuddling. You looked at peace, for the first time tonight, being alone with his dog. But he hoped that he can join in like old times.

He knocked on the glass door before opening it wide enough to enter. You turned to see him close the door behind you as you grinned courteously. “I found you.” The idol greeted as he sat on the chair next to you. “Everyone said you were gone, but I didn’t believe them.”

“You’re right.” You replied as you caressed Yeontan. “Been here with your doggy for a while. He never wanted to leave me.”

“I’m surprised that he likes you. It took a while for him to like the members.” Taehyung stared at his pet as he leaned into this chair. “Clara still struggles with him. He always growls or runs away from her.”

You frowned as you glared at the animal on you. You stage whispered, “You shouldn’t do that to your mom. She cares for you, you know?”

Taehyung chuckled at your behavior. “Actually, no. He’s my pet. She doesn’t really care for him, only feeds him when I’m not around. Clara didn’t agree with me getting a dog, but I still got him.”

“Who would say no to this face?” You purred as you brought a sleeping Yeontan into your arms and kissed his head.

The idol heavily admired the view as you nuzzled your face into Yeontan’s fur. The small Pomeranian lazily licked the tip of your nose before going back to his slumber. You giggled and kept him back on your lap.

“I forgot that you just go away from everyone, yet you’re still here.” Taehyung pointed out, grabbing your attention.

“I mean I didn’t want to be rude to just leave without notifying the host.” You shrugged as you reached for your plate of dessert.

“I guess the habit never left you.”

You blew out a soft laugh from your nose. “Yeah, the habit of you always finding me never left either.”

“You had me worried.” He spoke truthfully as he bit his lips. “I know you’re not the biggest fan of these kinds of things.”

“You shouldn’t have been.” You told, trying to assure him. ”Parties before were crowded, but this was pretty tame.”

“Yet you still came outside alone with my pet.”

“It got a little too much when a drunk Jungkook was glued onto me and Namjoon asked me to sing with him. After laying birthday boy down on Jimin, everyone else was distracted so I dipped without notice.” You explained as you took some whipped buttercream into your mouth. “Everyone was nice though, and they gave me their numbers and even asked to hang out, but…”

“But…” Taehyung egged on, wanting to hear more of your opinion.

“I told them we’ll see ‘cause I really am busy with work and school, and other things.” You sighed.

“Did you have fun at least, ___?”

“Yeah, I did.” You smiled, reminiscing about tonight as you scraped what was left of the cake before popping it in between your lips. “It’s been a while since I had done something like this, so thank you for helping me out. I know you were busy and all, but—”

“No, no, I wasn’t busy. I actually wanted to hang out with you, but everyone else was in the queue to spend some time with the famous ___.”

“Please, I’m sure I’m the farthest from being famous in that room.” You snorted in disbelief. “Jungkook even introduced me to some of his idol friends, I forgot their names…Eunwoo? Yugyeom? I don’t know. There were so many names to remember.”

Taehyung smiled happily at your rambling. “Baby steps, I guess. Uhh…” He scratched his temple, trying to think of how to word this properly. “I hope this helped with, ummm, trusting people a little.” You blinked, reaching his uneasy eyes. “I’m sorry if this offends you. I just—”

“I understand.” You said. “I remembered back in the hospital that you wanted to help me trust people again.”

“Did it work?”

“Well, this is only the first meet so…” You breathed out. “Baby steps, I guess.” You repeated his saying to which he scrunched his nose in amusement and looked down at his lap. “I’m sure you’re wondering if I’m on my way to trusting you.” 

His mouth cured down when he pulled his up to see your pupils and face forward. “Is it that obvious?”

“You’ve been worried about me the entire night, you looked for me, you’re being protective of me from your drooling members, you’re asking all these questions now…and I know that’s what you want from me.”

“I—”

“I don’t like saying this now, but that’s how you were, Taehyung.” You huffed, then finally met his eye contact. “It’s fascinating that you still do that.”

“Why is it fascinating?”

“Because it’s been ten years since I last knew you.” You murmured. “I’m sure there are many differences between Taehyung before and Taehyung now.”

The idol pursed his lips at your statement. It seemed that everyone but him verbalized that things were different between you and him. That you weren’t eight anymore, that he wasn’t able to care for you as much as before, that the restoring bond wasn’t strong like when you were younger. He hated it, he didn’t want to resort to that so-called justified belief. The memories were there, that was his evidence as well as yours, but you refused to look at them as how he did.

“You say that yet, look where we are.” Taehyung implied, gazing at the perplexed expression on you. “Party inside, yet you’re outside and alone just like before. And you said it yourself, I always find you.” You didn’t respond, only letting him speak further. “It feels like the same old things between me and you.”

You processed what he was saying. He seemed bothered, the defense evident on his features. You understood what he meant, and you did see the patterns within the weeks, but you weren’t going to tell him that. There was still distance and you couldn’t figure out why or how to solve it yet. You doubted he figured it out too because he was struggling right now.

Or maybe you did know, but you feared the results and vulnerability you had to do.

“You can’t say that we’re still the same because you know damn, well that’s not true. Again, you don’t know the kind of person I’ve become in the past ten years, Taehyung.” You informed him, eyeing him out. “It’s all blank and all you know are those memories when we were younger and naive. There are differences.” You stated calmly indifferent to your heart palpitating rapidly. “Like how I think of you now.”

Taehyung felt a stubby pit in him. He didn’t like that he was aware of that fact, but it stung when you confirmed the distance. You were right, he knew nothing within those ten years and who you were. He hated himself for it. The shortness in his breathing was present but tried his best to control it without going through another episode. “W—what do you mean by that?”

“Well…” You fiddled with your fingers, gathering your thoughts into words. “You were my best friend.”

“A-and-and now?”

“I don’t know.” You responded curtly. Your tone was rude, but you didn’t know how to say it without hurting him. And the hurt was there on him with his shoulders slouching lower. “Sorry, to say it like that. But it’s my truth.”

He nodded defeatedly. “I get it. I’m the reason why it’s so hard for you to trust others.” You didn’t want to comfort him and say it wasn’t true, because that would be lying. ”And trusting the perpetrator is almost impossible.”

Now you wanted to counter. “It’s not impossible, Taehyung.”

“How can you even say that when you don’t even know how you think of me?” His glossy irises shined through the dimming light of the midnight moon. Hints of tears were not there, but he was fighting them back into place.

“Because I’m letting you back in again.” You directly expressed, but the pain was still there. Your eyes frantically searched around as you debated your next move. You hesitantly raised your arm out to him. At times, your hand flinched back but kept moving forward. He followed your movements in curiosity before he realized what you were doing.

Your fingers jungled through his ebony locks, scratching his scalp in fondness as you peered at the idol. “Taehyung like how you have your reasons, I have mine too. It’s not impossible because I forgave you too. If you want me back in your life, I want you as well. It goes both ways.” You held forth as you pushed back his bangs, revealing his shining forehead. “It’s just gonna take a while with all that happened, okay? Even with your members and friends. It’s coming together.”

“I don’t want us to be awkward though. I know you feel it too.”

“We can’t help it. We have empty years behind us, and hopefully, we’ll be able to catch up. Just don’t think too much about our past now and don’t compare. I’m not the happy-go-lucky pushover you know.”

“You were never a pushove—”

“We’re back and focus on how are now.”

“How are you even so calm? I miss my best friend and wanna hug you so tightly, but I feel like you’re gonna kick my ass if I do.” He spoke childishly, making you giggle.

His insides tingled at your lovely sound.

“You’re not wrong again.” You brought back your hand. A low whine came out of his mouth when he couldn’t feel your touch anymore.

“Of course, I’m not. I know you inside and out.” He frowned.

“Not all…” You said under your breath and were in relief that he didn’t catch it. “I’m calm because I know it will happen. Not everything happens within a night, Taehyung.”

“I also don’t like how formal you call me. I miss Hyun—”

“Don’t push it.” Clipping your voice, you clenched your jaw. You shut him up right away. “Let’s take it slow, please.”

He agreed then you yawned largely before rubbing your eyes. “You tired? I have extra roo—”

“I’ll take a cab home.” You spoke as you stood from your seat with Yeontan in your arms still sleeping. Taehyung copied your movements before you transferred his dog to him. “I need to wake up early to study anyway.”

“Are you sure? Everyone’s too drunk to move any limbs and is probably sleeping over.”

“More reasons for me to leave.” You said matter of factly. “You can take care of them. I sobered up while outside.”

“It’s late. I don’t even know where you live. What if you live far?”

“Taehyung…”

“I’m being respectively concerned.” He reasoned as he slid the back door open, letting you both inside. “I’m not letting anyone leave the house. We’re all sleeping in the living room. I prepared matching pajamas for every one of us.”

You chortled at exaggerated words, but deep down, he spoke the truth. He was an idol…he could afford it. “Seems like no won’t be an answer for you?”

“You’re not wrong.” He smirked as you both headed down the empty hallway and up the stairs. Judging by the sounds and muffled voices, the party seemed to die down as everyone grew sleepy. In a split second, all of his members were in the living room dressed in red checkered pajamas. Even the sleeping Jungkook was changed.

You trailed behind the idol. Once you were brought into the first door to the left of the second floor, you found the same pajamas his members wore. You turned to him, in a surprised but expected expression. “You deadass bought matching pajamas. How’d you know their sizes?”

“I don’t, but it’s pretty easy for men through height.” He pointed out. “But you’re one of the few ladies inside the house so it’s pretty limited.”

You grabbed the folded clothes off the neat bed, checking it out. “I’m sure this is fine then. Thanks.”

“You’re lucky with this guest bedroom. You have your own bathroom in this. When I bought this house, I didn’t even know until Jimin pointed it out.” Taehyung leaned into the doorframe, crossing his arms. “This is Jimin’s unofficial room.”

You chuckled at his same-aged member. “So I guess I’ll change and head down to the living room?”

“No, you’re staying here.”

A formed morphed on your lips. “What, why?”

“There are so many men down there. I’m not putting you out there.”

You eyed Taehyung speechlessly. Sure, it was transparent that he was protective over you, but you didn’t think to this extent. At least not now, which made you question it densely.

“You have a nice spacious room to yourself, ___. Don’t give it up to sleep on a couch or floor with some…men.” He gagged at the emphasis of the word. Did he not realize that these were his friends he talked about?

“Fine, it’s your house anyway.” You gave in as you unfolded the sleepwear.

“There’s a new toothbrush for you to use as well as some makeup remover and cleanser. Make sure you lock the door. Jimin might notice something’s up.” Taehyung provided and you hummed in response.

“Thank you again. I’m actually very tired, it’s been a long day.” You were grateful for all his doings tonight. 

“Don’t overwork yourself.” He reminded strictly, making you roll your eyes. “I’m serious, ___. I don’t want to repeat the last time.”

“I’ve been better, I swear.” You promised, sticking out your pinky toward his frame. Your gesture made him grin as he latched onto your small finger with his longer and larger one.

“Keep that promise.” He advised before parting. “If you need anything, just call me or knock on my door. I’ll be here for you.”

“Thank you.” You gave your gratitude once again. “Good night, Taehyung.”

“Sweet dreams, ___.” Sweet dreams, my Blue. He wanted to say so desperately.

Once he left, you changed your clothes. You headed towards the bathroom to wash up. As you brushed your teeth, you reflected on the night. There was a slight shift in this…thing with Taehyung, and it was a good sign you hoped. At the very least, he now was aware of how genuine you wanted to be his friend again. It was only a matter of how much and how long. It really was going to take a while, but it couldn’t be helped. At least on your end. 

You still didn’t trust him, but it was gradually getting there. You and your heart knew. After all—

He was your best friend.

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee @dahliasbouqet @bertqut1 @fuckthinking @thvxstf

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter VI: Why I Love You

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: Flashback fluffs, kdrama references, talks of plants, idk teenage Tae hit for me in this, but adult Tae rn ????, some swearing here and there, the plot thickens and PAIN

Word Count: 13.8k

Chapter VI: Why I Love You || Series Masterlist

“You practically live in my room with all the clothes you leave here.” Taehyung entered his bedroom carrying an extra pillow and blanket. He saw you in your daisy pajama set you received on your birthday from his parents. You sat on his full-sized bed on the right side while having his laptop on your lap. “And be careful with that! It cost a whole fortune.”

“Same goes for you. Half of my drawers are your clothes.” You muttered as you typed something on his screen. “I am also careful. I’m just trying to find a movie that we could watch.”

Ever since Taehyung got gifted a laptop for Christmas, it was practically yours as well considering how much time you’ve spent on it. He didn’t mind though, he loved sharing with you, and oftentimes, you needed it for school.

He opened up the blanket before wrapping it around you, then putting the cushion behind your back although you wouldn’t really need it since you always ended up cuddling to his side. “You wanna watch Spirited Away? Or maybe Princess Mononoke?” You asked when he sat beside you on the left and wrapped his arm around your waist.

Pecking your temple, he rested his chin on your shoulder. He tilted his head to the side as he stared in awe at you. But it went unnoticed as you scrolled through the illegal website you found weeks back. “What do you wanna watch, Blue? I’ll watch anything.”

A spark of mischief appeared in your lively irises. “Really?” You said before changing the entire website in light speed before your actual want popped up.

“Really, Boys over Flowers again? This is like the fourth time you’ve watched the entire series when it came out!” Taehyung whined. He only did so because when you’ve watched it four times, he too watched it four times. All the time. He pulled you back to the bed frame while you brought the computer with you. “Why do you love this so much?” Despite all the complaining and nagging, he obliged hopelessly to the viewing of tonight’s entertainment. 

“I read the manga.” You shrugged. “I love the main guy too.” Your heart fluttered envisioning you and Gu Junpyo together.

Taehyung rolled his eyes and suppressed the pinch of jealousy running through his veins. “He’s such a dick to her though. Don’t fall for guys like that.”

“Nuh-uh! He actually cares for her, he just doesn’t know how to express them well…” You defended your celebrity crush as you played an episode. You placed the laptop in between your bodies before snuggling into Taehyung with your leg over him.

“Whatever, if you really do fall in love with some asshole, I will beat him up.” Taehyung scoffed to which you giggled. He hooked under your leg, bringing it closer and in a comfier position. “I never want you to be treated like Jandi. He tormented her!”

“So what guy should I fall for?” You asked nonchalantly. You reached for his hand to intertwine them with yours, laying it on his chest.

“Someone who will give you unconditional love and won’t intentionally hurt you, Blue.” He murmured into your supple hair. While you carelessly played with his hand, he fluttered his kisses into your strands.

The conversation died from there as the both of you watched the episode, but halfway through the show, he heard your soft snoring. The side of your cheek squished up onto his torso. You let go of his hand minutes back so you could wrap an arm over him. You were such a koala, but he loved it. That’s why he grew to love cuddling so much.

Taehyung chuckled at your slumbering form. He closed his laptop and moved it to the bed stand so that you could properly sleep. There he turned the lamp light off, darkness spilled over his room. He shifted you to your side before doing it to himself, separating your bodies.

But you let out a tiny whimper, losing the warmth. Your best friend hushed you as he circled his arms around your waist, pulling you in. The distance between you closed with your fronts touching. You latched a leg in between his and cozied up onto him.

“Night, Hyungie.” You mumbled, air-kissing him when you dozed off again. He laughed quietly at how needy you looked.

He leaned in to peck the tip of your nose, watching you sleep in his arms as always. Though the only light came through the small window, he clearly saw your beautiful resting face. The warmth in you outstretched the vicinity and onto him A true sight for him to see. He never got tired of this view—having you here with him in his arms. Nobody else in the world could break you apart. He wanted to stay like this forever and will make it happen. He was head over heels. He loved you. He loves you.

He truly was in love with you.

-

Taehyung stared exhaustedly at his ceiling. He hadn’t been having intense schedules for a while, yet he was still the same amount of tiredness. But he couldn’t find it in himself to close his eyes and let sleep take over his body. Maybe it was all the thoughts running through his mind, following him from left and right. The gears of his brain worked despite the tranquility of the night and the calmness of the air.

He lay on the right of the bed, craning his neck to the left of him to see his curled-up girlfriend sleeping like a log. She faced her body toward him, staying close as she dreamed away about God knows what. Yet the distance was evident, limbs weren’t sticking together. It felt cold to the touch, but he wasn’t at all fazed. He glanced absently at her snoozing features, holding no impressions.

His eyes shifted back to the unusually fascinating white ceiling as his mind began to think of you. It has been a couple of weeks since Jungkook’s party. The morning after, the guests recovered from the hangover after the headache-infused Jungkook bought everyone piping hot stews. You arrived in the kitchen quietly, back into your previous night’s dress as you went down to the dining room.

You waved shyly before announcing your departure, skipping the free meal. But Jungkook was adamant about letting you take it to go, so you accepted it as you said your goodbyes left. That was the last time Taehyung saw you.

It wasn’t on purpose though, there was an increase in schedules for them, having a few group meetings and conferences to do despite the pause on BTS’s music. In between those times, he had to go to his sessions. He’d text every now and then to check up on you, but you usually replied late since you were busy. But that was okay, you confirmed that you had eaten and slept well.

Tomorrow—well, technically, today—would be his first day off in a while, and messaged you a suggestion earlier at night if you wanted to spend it with him. It was a Sunday, so he knew you were off. You haven’t spent time alone together at all since the reunion, so he assumed this was the perfect opportunity. 

He could have asked Clara, but she had family business so he canceled the offer.

You still haven’t responded, so he was getting frantic if you’d ignore him. Though you reassured him that you wanted him in your life again, Taehyung still had this unconscious belief and fear that you would take it back. He knew that you wouldn’t think that way, but it was the evil side of his mind playing with him.

Maybe he should mention you to his therapist, he somehow managed to talk over or change the subject about any updates. Besides sharing light memories with his friends, he kept any thoughts of you to himself like before. It worked in the past, but look where that led him. Now everything about you ate him alive, yet he couldn’t be more grateful for it.

Damn, he really did need help.

Dr. Im wasn’t going to judge him otherwise that was unprofessional. He still thought about it. Perhaps the idol was scared that his doctor disclosed something in him that he wouldn’t want to hear…or afraid to hear in a sense. There were certain pieces of information no one but he knew about and it stayed that way. However, sooner or later, it had to be revealed but Taehyung didn’t know how to do it.

As his angels answered his prayers, his phone lit up on the bedside drawer. Reaching out to it, his eyes adjusted to the blue light then sparkled in joy when he saw replied. It read—

Sure, I don’t mind. You’re in luck that I’m giving myself a break from studying. 

Senselessly and ignoring the fact that it was one in the morning, his thumbs worked their magic to message you saying to get ready by ten. You texted instantly agreeing with no other questions, making the sides of his lips curl in excitement. He locked his phone and placed it back in its original position.

He dozed off satisfied and thrilled for the morning.

-

Taehyung arrived in the kitchen, fully dressed in his casual attire—a brown suit paired with his black shoes with the backing pushed down. He whistled whimsically as he found Clara also dressed for the day in her black business attire.

“You seem cheery today, baby.” She smiled as she went up to kiss his cheek. The idol paid no attention to her affection and lets it be. But she scuffled his hair to which he screeched as a complaint.

“Don’t mess it up!” Taehyung whined, despite making it messy to give the effortless look. Patting his wild strands down, Clara giggled amusingly as she clutched her handbag on the kitchen counter.

“You’re dressed nicely, do you have another schedule?” She wondered before pulling out a small mirror and her lip tint.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, seeing another text from you that you were on your way. “No, it’s my day off.”

She lavished the wand on her lips, coating it in a soft pink. “Aww, really? If I had known, I would have taken the day off too.”

“It’s fine. Isn’t it important anyway?” He shrugged as he messaged you to be safe, settling it down on the kitchen island.

The socialite sighed in response, “Yeah, it’s a soft launch of our collaboration with another company. My dad wanted you to come, but I told them you had work.”

“Thanks for taking me out then.” He mentioned with a smirk. “Parties like that are boring.”

“Don’t remind me.” She rolled her eyes. “Love my family but I cannot bear to hear another generic speech from them.” She shoved her items back into her purse and observed her boyfriend, who was in a lighter mood today. “So how come you’re dressed up? And shocking in a good mood.”

The idol rolled his eyes as he eyed her back. “Is it shocking that I’m like this?”

“Yes, because you’re usually sour.”

Taehyung grimaced at her reply, a tad offended. He didn’t want to ruin his attitude because of her. “I’m going out with ___. Haven’t been able to see her since the party.” There was a pinch in Clara’s face when he announced his day. She peered at her boyfriend with narrowed eyes, almost like slits. Taehyung challenged her stare with a rather mundane and relaxed look. He cocked an eyebrow, muttering the word, “What?”

“Just you and her? Is Seojoon Oppa or Wooshik Oppa coming?” She inquired, hands resting on her hips.

“Just us two, like old times.” Taehyung simply answered. “We haven’t hung out in a while.”

“Yes, you have.”

“Besides the party and going to her work isn’t hanging out.” He countered as he grabbed his keys.

“You’re really making an effort to spend time with her.” The socialite pointed out as she went towards the fridge to obtain a water bottle.

“Well, everyone knows, including you, that we had a falling out, so we wanted to catch up.”

“Are you free tonight? Maybe we can have dinner together.” Clara offered. “We’ll even purchase extra sides of japchae for you.”

“I guess so?” The idol was iffy on it. “Depends how long I’ll be out with ___.”

“Wha-where are you even going with her anyway?”

His phone vibrated, with your contact name popping up. You were here and quickly pocketed his phone. “Not sure, but she’s still new to the city. I might take her to the park or a village, she loves gardens too so we’ll see. Maybe even to a cat cafe, she loves animals.”

Taehyung blabbered on, listing some suggestions, while Clara stood there listening to activities she used to ask him to do. “Whatever, you both don’t do, let’s go together.” She insisted with a gentle smile.

The idol blinked at her, forcing the curves of his mouth to go up before nodding. “We can.” Clara couldn’t tell as she clapped enthusiastically, but it was an empty promise. “She’s here, so I’m heading out.” He began walking away.

“Oh, I’ll follow you out. I have to go soon too.” The socialite trailed beside him. “Tannie was also picked up by Hyungsik for a dog date.”

Once the front door opened, a gust of wind splashed the couple’s faces. The early signs of the fall season were showing with the cooling breeze, partly cloudy and sunny skies, and change in color of the once green summer, creating the perfect weather. You waited by the walkway of the porch. You sported a buttoned-down light mocha v-neck dress over a rustic cardigan. You paired on the same pair of heels from the party. Hair was straightened this time with little to no makeup on, maybe curled your lashes and tinted your lips but that was about it.

Taehyung smiled at your presence as he jogged down to your stature. You waved at him before noticing Clara too, so you greeted her as well. “Hi Clara, are you coming too?”

The socialite puts on a smile and shook her head, “No, I have some family business to do.”She noticed the similarities to your wardrobe, but you both didn’t bother to notice. “But I hope you both have fun, okay? Tae, text me anything fun.“

Taehyung looked distracted, not even hearing what his girlfriend said. You nudged him and motioned towards Clara that she spoke to him. He turned back to see her and brainlessly nodded, “Have fun at work!” He grabbed your wrist as he unlocked the car. He basically dragged you into the vehicle as he didn’t want any more interactions happening between you and her.

Clara watched his car take off with you waving back and Taehyung ignoring her entire presence. As the vehicle grew smaller and finally out of sight, the socialite grimaced. Clenching her jaw, she had many thoughts going on and was suspicious of him, especially with you. She doesn’t know if she liked it or not, but one thing was for sure, she reached for her phone and sent a message.

-

“Taehyung, we’ve been driving for over an hour.” Looking through the tinted windows, you watched cars passing by and disrupting your view of the water. This was maybe the third bridge he drove through. But instead of coming out into a city, a small town came into your vision with many small businesses ahead.

“I don’t like being in Seoul as often as you think. There’s a place I know of that you might like. Plus, fewer people recognize me or just leave me alone compared to the city.” You stayed silent and nodded, but he knew you listened carefully. “Hmmm, you don’t like my driving?” He merely questioned as he took a left turn. “I would assume with the excellent music playlist and scenery would have you enjoying the ride.”

“Well, this is the first time I’ve seen you driving, let alone be in a car with just you.” You stated, turning back to see him focus on the road. You noticed how he removed his blazer and rolled up his sleeves. His veins were visibly seen through his honey skin. He only used one hand and held the steering wheel at the very bottom. “I’m not complaining though.”

The idol snuffed, glancing at you quickly before staring forward. “Must be weird then. We would used to walk, take the bus, or the train together.”

“Not weird…just been a while.” Shaking your head, you went back to sightseeing out your passenger window.

Taehyung’s eyes constantly shifted from gawking at you to the highway. Tightening his grip on the wheel, he used his unoccupied hand to listen to an old song that came up into shuffle. At the first beat of the song, your head shot towards the stereo receiver.

You snorted, completely incredulous at the music choice. “Jesus Christ, why do you have this on your playlist?” A smile crept up as the hit of nostalgia washed your face.

His signature boxy grin came up while watching you as he shrugged, “It’s all on shuffle. I’ve never heard it in a while, so I’m surprised as you are.”

“Do you still know the lyrics?”

“Of course, I do. You made me learn it from all the times we’ve heard it.” He scoffed as if the question shouldn’t have been asked in the first place. The traffic light turned red, making the vehicle at a stop.

“Well, let’s put it to the test then!” You challenged before amplifying the volume.

You both then sang the lyrics to the song, “Almost paradise!! A warmer day than the sun, the look in your eyes. It’s like having the whole world!” While at the stoplight, Taehyung finally focused his attention on the passenger’s seat to fully sing to you. “In my life!! Like a light in my weary life, you came to me and gave me love. If only I could keep it forever!”

“You are all of my love!” Taehyung sang or rather shouted.

“You are all of my life!” You continued.

“With my everything, I love you!!!” You sang together right before the light went back to green. While resuming the drive, you fell into a pit of laughter through what was once your favorite drama. You were surprisingly impressed that you remembered it, not seeing the show in ten years. But guess that’s what happens when you watched it eight times.

On the other hand, Taehyung’s body felt lighter after that. A very tiny memory was a core one at that moment, cherishing simpler times. It felt good, felt so right. The only thing he wished for was for the light to stay red a little longer. 

-

“You still love plants, right?” He asked as you both entered the establishment. Eyes sparkled in delight when you scoped the nursery filled with various plants you’ve grown to learn over the years. Ranging from foliage to blooming to only in-season ones. It was getting colder and cloudier in Korea, so there were indoor growing lights built about the jungle of greenery. “Cats too?”

The place he brought you was also part of a cat cafe, so it combined two of your favorite interests into one. Not many individuals were here at the moment as the place opened for the day not too long ago. Scanning below you, you spotted different breeds of cats walking around, playing with scattered toys, napping, and laying down on towers

“Surprise you remembered that.” You mumbled, suppressing the excitement within you when you spotted a black feline strutting up to your form. Without thought, you picked the cat up and it immediately warmed up and trusted you. You cooed at the sight of its eyes slowly closing and melting into your arms.

Taehyung’s eyes shimmered at your interaction once again. He always knew how weak you were for animals. Back in Geochang, you would pet each chicken at his grandmother’s farm and play with other neighbors’ dogs every time you walked home together. You loved them and they loved you back.

“Why would I forget these things about you?” The idol inquired as he followed behind. You were distracted by all the plants and the kitties everywhere. “Plants were your hobby and animals were your interests.”

You turned back to him with an amused grin while he cocked an eyebrow playfully at you. He then stepped forward to reach out a hand toward the black cat. His finger stroked its head, and once he got approval, he ran his hands through the ebony coating.

“You love animals too.” You spoke up as you joined him in caressing the animal in your arms. “We used to be late in elementary school because we played with Banchan along the way.” The familiar mention of the Shiba Inu that used to live in the neighborhood brought many memories between you two. If possible, the same ones replayed in your heads.

On your first day of another school year, while holding hands, you and Taehyung walked a route your grandparents made to ensure safety for a six and seven-year-old. Though you both went to the same elementary school as his younger sister and brother, Taehyung was usually the last one to get out of bed so his siblings never bothered to wait for him and left earlier. But you did, so he’d never be lonely and you loved being with him.

However, it was very dangerous because you two were easily distracted especially regarding your interests. One of them being animals. That’s where Banchan the Shiba Inu came in because you quickly noticed the dog outside, held back by his leash. You ran up to him to give him some love while Taehyung wasn’t too far behind. Once the boy scratched his tummy, Banchan licked his face jubilantly, letting out laughter from the both of you.

Eventually, the owners, who were a sweet fairly young couple, heard your giggles and told you to go to school as it was already late into the schedule but promised that you could play with their dog after school. Though they received pouts and whines, you obliged and left for the school day, then came back once the day was over.

Needless to say, it became an occurring “Banchan morning love” time followed by being late for the past month, getting light scoldings from his parents and your grandparents after getting calls from your school. But the couple was kind enough to both of you by giving every Saturday dedicated to playing with Banchan, in exchange for being punctual. This continued until the couple moved out of Geochang the next year, bidding goodbye to your furry friend.

“He was too fluffy to not pet!” Taehyung still reasoned after all those years passed. His hand dropped to his side when he found an orange feline, cautiously stalking toward him. Watching his every move, the apricot-hued animal eventually slammed its body onto the idol, making him laugh at the aggressive begging to be pet. He carried it into his arms and paced beside you. “You have this Shiba Inu just hanging outside your house. Not expecting little kids to just go and play??”

You chuckled as those words were probably verbatim of our reasonings to his parents. “We still got our way.” Whilst holding the cuddly cat buddy, you roamed around the cafe nursery. The plant selection was gorgeous and difficult to even buy just one. You would buy one, but…now wasn’t a time to be spending willy-nilly.

“Do you still have your plant collection?” Taehyung asked, recollecting the memories of you repotting, watering, and talking to your babies (what you called them).

You sighed as you grazed your thumb over a leaf of a little monstera deliciosa. “No, unfortunately, I donated them away to the children’s center back home before I left. I wasn’t able to bring them all and I knew no one would be caring for them either.”

Taehyung’s mind recaptured memories of you and your grandmother tending toward the little porch garden. He never understood the immense hobby for it, but you enjoyed your plants and with that, he used to help you every now even educating himself. There were instances where he surprised Namjoon with his vast knowledge of certain plants and the caring they needed.

However, knowing that you’ve shared this hobby with your grandmother who passed long ago, it saddened him knowing you weren’t able to continue something you loved anymore, especially when it was with your grandmother. “H-how about your grandfather? He could have taken care of them.”

Something in your eyes peeked through. No spark, no light, it was rather dark, almost solemn but obscure. Taehyung couldn’t fully comprehend what it meant. To the best of his knowledge, the look seemed similar to an occurrence when you were younger but it was hard to tell. He hated not knowing.

Yet he had to remind himself his memories with you weren’t enough to know everything about who you were now and your current situations. How you used to be doesn’t equate to who you are now. But it was hard not to.

“Uh, just too old and such.” You rushed as you paid attention to the section of Devil’s Ivy. “Plus, his focus was on the fruits and vegetables in the land. It would be too much for him to handle on top of that.” You seemed a bit frazzled when you spoke, most likely not wanting to talk anymore about it. So you decided to change the topic, “Are you getting anything?” You moved further into the back of the nursery.

“I’m fine with getting some brunch in the cafe, but did you want anything?” He asked before settling the orange cat down. You did the same to your black one but plastered a kiss on its head before letting it free with its friends. Taehyung took notice of it and a side of his lips curved up.

“Uhh, no. I’m okay.” You shook your head, continuing to stare at the beautiful Peace lily plants. They didn’t have their flowers, but they were beautiful all year round. But Taehyung trailed your line of sight at them and saw a bit of longing and want. “You know Peace lily plants, or as they are scientifically called, Spathiphyllum, are known for their air-purifying abilities, and grow in a bright spot out of direct sunlight. They’re a bringer of peace, especially when they bloom their white flowers.” You rambled on with your in-hand facts as he listened. He never really understood, but somehow absorbed it easily.

Cutting your long speech, he commented, “Weren’t these your first plant?”

Stopping your mouth from moving, you blinked at him dumbstruck at his sharp mind. “How could you ev—I got Penny before I met you!” Yes, you named your Peace lily Penny, an American name but it was so easy to remember. And yes, your Peace lily was also a girl.

“You talked to her every day since we met before we would play. You talked to me about her and how special she was, and how excited you were every time she bloomed flowers.” Taehyung listed it down humorously and you couldn’t help but be stunned that he remembered all of that at the top of his head. “Also how could I forget when you cried when she died and found out they only last three to five years.”

Jesus Christ, you too remembered that day clearly. When you were eight, Penny died on you no matter how much you talked to her and fed water to her and drooping leaves. You wept into your grandmother’s arms and then into Taehyung’s before your grandmother explained that plants like Penny don’t last as long, it was part of their cycle.

Still, you were heartbroken, so to cheer you up, Taehyung gathered his entire household and yours to make a funeral, commemorating Penny, your first plant.

“I didn’t know!” You rolled your eyes, then cringed at the thought of your utter despair for a plant. “Then again, you and I both know death loves to come my way.”

You said it as a joke, but then Taehyung’s pupils dilated even choking on his spit. He tapped on his chest harshly while you rubbed his back as a sign of concern and comfort. Once he settled down into a calmer state, you said, “Guess my dark sense of humor is surprising to you?”

Of course, it was. Death was always a sensitive topic, especially experiencing it at a young age. You whined easily when your parents were mentioned or the words “dead” or “die” came into the conversation. “More so.” Taehyung shrugged worryingly in contrast to your light demeanor.

“It’s easier to cope with it.” You hummed, playing with the Peace lily’s bright green leaves. “Death, life, and especially when the people you love aren’t your life anymore.” You glanced back at his shocked state, observing the sudden pain in his eyes. You didn’t mean to say it like that, but it became a habit that you couldn’t stop yourself to do.

Taehyung said no comment on it, seeing as how casual you looked after you said that. He lets it be and wanted to lighten the mood. He shook himself out of the shock and cleared his throat. “If you want it, I’ll buy it for you.”

“No, I wouldn’t want that.” You scoffed before rolling your eyes.

“But I want to.” He pouted before inspecting the pots of Peace lilies for the perfect one. “Consider it as a gift. I invited you out anyway.”

“Taehyung, no!”

“Why not?!”

“Buying things is too much for me…” You mumbled, now fiddling with your fingers. Hoping he would understand, you also said, “They cost too.”

He hummed in response. “Does it look like I care about the cost? I’m not bragging but I am a world star.” You furrowed your eyebrows at his haughty explanation, it was quite entertaining. He meant well, but the words weren’t supporting him. He too caught on and wanted to mentally punch himself. “No, that’s no—lemme rewind.” You chuckled softly at his tense state as you crossed your arms over yourself. “I have a bit more spending money compared to when we were teens, so I’d like to give you things that you desire and want.”

You squinted at what he said, thinking very wrongly of it. “I’m not saying that it is, but you sounded like a sugar daddy.”

He opened his mouth, but quickly closed it, not knowing how to even respond to that. But he disregarded what you said. “The point is—I want to give things. I don’t mind paying. I love giving gifts. I’m a gift giver, to my friends, and family, and that also includes you, ___.”

Your teeth were in between your lips, still, not all convinced. “I still need to pay you back for the hospital bill.”

“That’s weeks ago and I don’t recall any mentions of you paying me back.” He retorted, completely baffled by your weak reasoning. “I wouldn’t have agreed either, so let that go.”

“Bu—”

“You’ve been eyeing these plants since we came here, I know you want them.” He lifted the perfect pot of Peace lily. The pigment held the summer vibrancy despite the Fall weather coming soon. A ray of leaves fanned out happily and proudly to its blossomed curve. It was still a baby, being held from the bottom of the terracotta pot with a single hand of Taehyung’s. “Even if you say no, I’ll still get them.”

“This one you picked up does have a nice shape to it.” You pointed out, but he knew you were inching to accept his offer.

“You also can start a collection here. I’ll even help you tend to them unless you want me to.”

“You do realize plants and the care are expensive.”

“Then I’ll provide them for you.”

“Okay, that’s too mu—”

“You loved planting, ___, but you had to stop.” He blurted out, zipping up any reasoning from you. “You did it with your grandmother too, it was something you bonded together over. Something you remembered her with.” He saw your eyes move around yet still managed the gaze you gave him. “I don’t want you to lose that.”

The mentioning of your grandmother ached your heart. It has been a while since you spoke about her. The vivid images of her teaching you about all those plants popped to mind, nostalgically and memorially. It was because of her, you found this loving hobby of plant care and it was something you never wanted to let go of, even if you left for Seoul.

Your eyes watered, but not enough for them to spill. You blinked continuously as you controlled your breath. You simply nodded, completely sold on what Taehyung said. “I’ll get him.” You retrieved the pot into your two hands as you scanned your new baby.

A bright smile morphed onto Taehyung’s face as he heard little whispers from you to the Peace lily. “Him now?” You hummed as you grinned happily. “Does he have a name?”

“Don’t know…maybe after you? Tae?” You quipped to which he laughed.

“Me? Why? You never named your plants after any of us?” He chirped as he looked at the plant. “But Tae seems nice for him.”

“They are known to be dramatic.” You informed. “They droop and act like they’re dying if you don’t water them or give attention.”

“Did you just insult me?” He gasped, putting a hand over his chest as if he was offended.

“No, it’s fact.” You snorted as you carried your baby in the cafe’s direction. “I’ve seen those Run BTS episodes.” Taehyung chuckled more as he retrieved more equipment you needed into his hands and arms.

You highlighted once again that you followed the band and its entertainment beyond music. It still stunned him, but only because he didn’t think you’d do so after what happened. He even talked about it briefly before. But you said that despite the ending of your friendship, you were tremendously proud of him and his members’ success. You loved the message they conveyed and all that they’ve done to endure it.

Not enough words or presents would express his gratitude towards you. He felt undeserving of your gentle actions and affable behavior, yet he was very selfish to continue to want it. In his eyes, you were never a pushover or an attached brat. You gave all that you could to those you loved because they were who you had in life, the only ones. They were the only ones who’ve seen the vulnerability and dedication in you and you weren’t willing to spread it as often even if you did. You were needy in the best of ways because it showed you also wanted a shoulder to lean on, especially maturing at a very early age. 

There were so many things about you that screamed perfection, caring, warm-hearted, and resiliency. Just you in general, and Taehyung was eternally grateful to see it through his own very eyes as well as experience the way you gave yourself and spoke to him with so much passion and tenderness. No one was more true than you, his Blue.

In the past, there were so many reasons why Taehyung loved you, and unexpectedly—at least to him—why he hopelessly fell in love with you.

-

Knowing each other since a young age and being best friends, it was obvious how much Taehyung loved you. He always loved you, even telling it to you many times every day. It was so easy to say and he meant it. He would do anything for you. He cared and wanted to protect you. You even said it back, so it was natural to speak about love within your relationship.

However, loving and being in love was not as obvious. There was a fine line between the two that was difficult to pinpoint. It often gets the betterment of people, even when they’re older and wiser. You can bounce from one to the other all you want without realizing it, but you eventually had to choose a side.

In Taehyung’s case, he learned about this decision at the beginning of his teenage years. In his first year of high school and when he first joined his soccer club, his older players would bring up topics about sex and love more than they should. Teammates were split in half, wanting sex and wanting love. He didn’t listen as much, but he did recall somewhere along the lines of having a partner to hold and cherish eternally.

With that, he went to his father regarding the love his teammates were talking about. “Well, the definition of love is very broad and can be interpreted many ways, son.” His father, Jitae, began, cocking his head to the side in thought.

“They talked about having someone to hold and adore eternally,” Taehyung repeated from his memories.

“Hmm, so I guess my example would be me and your mom.” Jitae brought out as he clapped his hands together. “Because I love having her by my side and being by her side. I’m in love with your mom, and that will never change.”

“In love?” He questioned, not getting what that meant. “Don’t you love us? We’re your kids!”

His father laughed endearingly at his son. “Of course, I love you, and Eunjeong, and Sungyeon. I love all of you! You three gave me all the more reasons to love and stay on Earth.” He defended. “However, loving and being in love are different. The love I have for your mom is different from my love for my kids.” 

“What did you mean?”

“I certainly don’t want to go into detail, but I’m head over heels for your mom. I’ve been way before we had you three. You kids gave me a reason to stay on Earth, she gave me a reason to be alive. Every time I look at her, my heart starts racing or skips a beat. I’m deeply committed to her as she does to me. She’s my partner, my wife. She’s my connection, she makes me feel better, do greater, a comfort.” Jitae explained thoroughly. “I would do anything for her.”

While Taehyung processed these thoughts and explanations, he had certain questions. “Will I have that? Do I have that now?”

“I hope that you’ll have that.” Smiling, his father patted down his son’s hair. “And to answer your second question, you’re still young. I found your mom when we were in our 20s, so there’s a lot of time. But there are possibilities.”

“Like?”

“Well, do you have someone who you’re in love with?” Jitae picked out as he stared at Taehyung. “Having a connection, to make you feel better, do greater, your comfort. Heart skips every time. You would do anything for them.”

Taehyung had no answer as he tried his best to think with his developing adolescent brain. Jitae had a specific person in mind but decided not to say anything for his son to figure it out himself.

Time passed, yet his mind stayed stagnant with this idea. It intrigued him to an extent, wondering if he would ever have the experience of feeling how his dad felt toward his mom. He knew that he loved all around, his parents, his siblings, his friends, your grandparents, and of course, you. But the act of being in love?

He thought about what his father had told him, being connected, feeling better, and doing better. A comfort in his life, and would do anything for them. The list was easy to eliminate options. Well, there was nothing to cancel out because all those traits went straight to you. You were the first person that popped into his head.

Strange though…or rather perplexed to say the least. How would it be possible? He loved you, that was a given, but in love? You weren’t a partner or wife, you were his best friend, his Blue! Does that even suffice?  

Suddenly a realization was brought upon him. Heart beating fast, skipping beats? He doesn’t think he has ever gotten that from you. He took you into his arms many times, even intertwining his fingers together with yours. He kissed your temples, head, and cheeks. Yet nothing happened to his heart.

Maybe you weren’t the one he was in love with. His father did say that he was still young and had a lot of years ahead. Why did this even bug his mind anyway? Why was he thinking too much about this? He was a teenager; he needed to think about other things like gaming, friends, and sleep. Anything really besides love.

He did love you though and wouldn’t give up anything in the world to not have that feeling anymore.

However, it took a while for him to see how special you so were to him. And how did he find out?

You had your first crush.

It was some boy named Jinhwan in your class. He was a kind and smart boy from what you told him and even let you borrow his pen when yours ran out of ink. You partnered up with him one day on an assignment and you have gotten to know him better. Days after he kept talking to you during breaks and sometimes bypassing. Each encounter felt more whimsical and fluttering to your heart, and eventually, you realized that you had a crush on him.

However, get this—you didn’t tell Taehyung.

You surprisingly spoke to his sister, which shocked and insulted him. He didn’t understand why because he was your best friend after all. All that information was from Eunjeong who assumed that you told him. New flash, you didn’t and it flabbergasted the boy.

He felt offended that you didn’t tell him and told his sister. His sister?? Last thing he remembered he was your best friend, not her. You told him everything, you even told him when you got your first period before anyone else. Why’d you tell her and not him? 

There was a slight tinge of jealousy coursing through his body. Not sharing was partial towards his emotion, but the primary reason was the very thought of you liking another boy.

It was weird and uncomfortable for him. Like why have a crush on a boy that you met at your school? Gross. QYou practically knew nothing about him except that that Jinhyuk boy was nice, but that wasn’t even a fact and that was based on judgment by the individual. If you had a crush on someone, it should be someone that you knew for a long time, who understood you, who cherished you, who kept you in their arms at all times, and who would give the world to you. Someone like hi—

Yeah, he realized he was in love with you.

But he suppressed them right now to be upset, but not at you though. Only the fact that you didn’t tell him. Whether or not he was in love with you, but he really was, you didn’t inform him of something important that could change your life. He was about to march to your house when Eunjeong stopped him to inform him that you stayed back at school because Jinhwan asked to speak with you. Rumor has it that he was going to confess to you, indicating he too had a crush on you. Mutual pining. And that made Taehyung’s heart sink into an abysmal hole.

Fuck, it was too late.

-

Taehyung waited on the steps of your front porch, staring down at his feet. Hours passed since school ended and there was no sight of you near. He felt worried, upset, sad, and all various kinds of emotions right now, but most importantly, in love. In love with you.

Why didn’t he notice it any sooner? Then again, nothing changed between you two. Yeah, you were getting older, developing maturely and elegantly. But you were you, his Blue. He was him, your Hyungie. There was no difference within your dynamic, other than getting closer to one another as the seconds went on. So if this was true, then was he in love with you this whole time? How would that even be possible? He was a child when he met you. Yet again, he always loved you since the moment he met you.

The sound of shoes dragging along the concrete and sniffles broke his running mind. Once he raised his head, he was met with your puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Mouth quivered loosely with every rapid gasp coming out of you to stop the weeping of your cries. His mind went full alarm as he shot up from the stairs to go up to you.

With every step, he cautiously observed you. You were fighting back the sobs as you tried pursing your lips together. But when he puts you in between his arms with his hands around your back, he asked, “My Blue, what happened? What did he do to you?”

You broke every resistance inside of you and cried like a baby into his chest. The same exact cry when you ran away after Jinhwan stole your first kiss and embarrassed you by laughing at your confession in front of his friends. Little did you know it was all recorded, or when you were crying your poor self out behind a building, so then he proceeded to upload it online for everyone.

So you bawled out even more so until you were tired of crying and mindlessly walked home. But you saw your worried best friend waiting for you, ready to give you the comfort you needed and deserved. Your entire soul collapsed onto him.

“Hy-Hyun-Hyungie!” You keened, slithering your arms over his chest as you gripped onto his uniform shirt that you drenched in your tears. “I-I-I—”

“Shhh, no. It’s okay. You’re safe, Blue.” He shushed you as he had one hand over your head and the other hooked around your waist. Your form bounced as your sobbing overpowered your breathing. “I’m here now. Don’t worry. I’ll always be here.”

-

After hours passed once again, you, fortunately, stopped shedding tears though your emotions were still heightened and intense. You had to lie to your grandparents and say that you were sick to not go to school the following day. They knew you weren’t ill, but they knew something was up since it was uncommon of you. They let you be and hoped it’d make you feel okay.

Taehyung never left your side, having you in his arms or within reach. He even slept over for the night. But once it hit your “bedtime,” your minds were still awake. Your best friend thought it was a good idea for you to escape for the time being, so you both did. And what better way than to sneak out of your window in the dead of night to go to the park and hang out under the blossoming tree? It was your favorite pastime together after discovering that you could do things without your grandparents and his parents knowing.

When the gentle breeze touched your skin, the serenity of the starry sky pricked with specks of stars, and no one else but your best friend was right by your side. You let the setting calm every nerve in you, closing your eyes and taking the deepest breaths.

Taehyung kissed your hair before resting his cheek on the top of your head. His growth spurge over the winter time let him be much bigger than your stature. He hated seeing you like that, heartbroken, undeserving of what happened to you, and crying over some stupid ass boy who doesn’t deserve shit from you or anyone. He wanted to beat this boy up, but you told him no because he wasn’t worth it and you hated violence. He had to oblige, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t call his sister up and tell her to punch him in the throat.

“How are you feeling now, Blue?” He whispered, staring up at the night before you.

“Less crappy, but better now.” You sighed, laying your head on his shoulder and leaning closer toward his form. “I feel like an idiot.”

“No, you’re not. Those boys were dicks and Jinseok guy was a complete asshole.” Taehyung countered, feeling upset that you were talking down upon yourself. “You didn’t deserve anything that was given to you like that.”

“Still, I fell for it.” You frowned as you stared down at your fingers playing with each other. “I should have known. No boy ever liked me because I’m ugl—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” He interjected sharply, his restrained vocal cords due to puberty somehow helped his voice drop an octave. “Don’t ever succumb your worth with pea-minded small dick boys.”

“Then why aren’t I liked by anyone?” You complained, balling your hands into fists as you tried controlling the tears that threatened to come out again. “So many of my peers got confessions, always overheard boys talk about how pretty my classmates were, or even asked me about Eunjeong because she thought she was cute and I knew her.”

“Blue—”

“And don’t get me started on you.” Your attention went on him and his large irises looking back questionably. “You told me about all the confessions you had from this past year alone and how you rejected them all, but you still keep getting them.”

“___—”

“I mean it’s a given that you’ve always been handsome and always nice and caring to others. I just feel so shitty about myself because I don’t ever feel confident in myself, as a best friend and as a—”

“No!” Taehyung shouted, causing you to flinch and pause your rambling. His mind was all over the place. First, you called him handsome and while you did consistently mention it in the past, this was the first time he noticed how much his heart was racing and how he was getting squirrels in his stomach.

Second, he didn’t like hearing your self-deprecations at all. Did you really think so lowly of yourself? Not once did you show any signs. It wasn’t right and he should have caught on earlier.

“Stop doing that. Stop talking bad about yourself.” He shook his head before reaching out for your hands to hold. “And don’t compare yourself to others, Blue.”

“How can I not? I’m surrounded by it all the time, aka you!”

“I-I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

“No, no. Not you. I’m sorry. I—” You stopped yourself, trying to collect your thoughts into a reasoning argument. “I just feel like I’m not good enough sometimes. Like I guess, this was more than that stupid prank and lie Jinhwan did or not being liked by anyone. Like, I’m never enough to satisfy or be worth something in someone’s life.”

For some odd reason, he couldn’t help but chuckle. Sure, your words were raw and from the depths of your heart but really? Not enough to be worth something in someone’s life? Seemed a little bit exaggerated.

Hearing his laughter, your eyebrows pinched together and cheeks puffed into anger at his response. But before you could even get a single sound out of you, he commented, “Now that’s an insult to me.”

Now your expression resembled confusion, “What do you m—”

“Why would you even say something like that when you’re literally everything in my life?”

His words punched you in the throat, taking your very breath away. “D-don’t—you don’t mean that! I said something, not—”

“Now why would I lie? I never lie to you! I do mean that, and I said everything because you are everything!” Taehyung retorted. He used one hand to hold your waist, pulling you into his lap. Sitting in between his legs, you laid back onto his chest as his chin stayed on your shoulder. “You mean so much more than you could ever imagine to me. Y-yo-you’re my best friend, Blue. I can’t have you think that you’re any less for others, me, and yourself especially. It breaks my heart knowing that I’m not helping you through that.”

“Don’t carry my burden on you.” You muttered quietly. “My whole self-esteem is just at its low and blowing out of proportion. I just became a teenager. You can’t really help me on this one.”

“I bet I can.” His eyes lit up, making you turn back to see him. Your faces were centimeters away. While you stared casually at his face, he felt his breathing slipping away at the gorgeous sight of you under the fluorescent moon. He managed to catch him without notice and continued. “I—I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve seen in my entire life, and I’m blessed that I get to see you every single day. If people don’t see it, they weren’t gifted with seeing the true beauty that you hold.”

You gawked wordlessly, pupils dilating by the second as he spoke with endearment and authenticity. Heartbeat fastened as he spoke on. “___ ___, you’ve been and always will be worth it, in my life, in your grandparents’ life, my family’s, anyone who comes across you. Don’t support that mindset with people of less importance in your life because it doesn’t help you. Focus on who matters, like you.”

“I can help by reminding you to not speak such foulness about yourself, pointing out the way you impact my and your loved ones’ lives, and showing you how beautiful you are because you truly are.” Using his unoccupied hand, he pushed a strand out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. “These little boys must have dead skin cells coming out of their shit-stained mouths if they don’t think you, ___ ___, are beautiful.”

You blinked rapidly and your lower lips pouted out as if it was the only reaction you could give. The little voice in your head begged to differ. But with his piercing coffee-swirled eyes at you, it slowly diminished and lowered its volume. It was hard to tell with your conscious, but you believed him even if it was just a little bit. 

You saw him leaning closer, his eyes shut smoothly. Staying still but eyes widening with every centimeter closer, your mind was on blast, anticipating his next move. However, he did a little turn-up and kissed the tip of your nose lightly.

You shook your head out of surprise. Why did you expect something else? Of course, Taehyung was always affectionate toward you. You couldn’t react any further as he brought you closer to him and peppered kisses onto your shoulder. You blinked away and focused straight into the night, trying to relax.

“The only thing I wish I could do was to stop that kiss from happening.” He spoke again with a huff. “I’m sorry your first kiss was with that fucking jerk. God, are you sure you don’t want me to beat him up?”

There the tenseness you didn’t realize you had in your body blew away and was replaced by laughter. “You shouldn’t resort to violence. He was a dick, but I can’t change the past. I wished too though.”

“Which is why you should always come to me first before you go do something.” Taehyung scolded in a know-it-all way, making you roll your eyes in defense. “I didn’t even know you had a crush until Eunjeong told me and she only did so because she thought I knew already! Why didn’t you tell me, Blue?”

Your form suddenly shrunk and sunk into his body, feeling the hotness steaming up your cheeks. “I know I tell you everything, but this was different…”

“How is it different?”

“I-I-I needed a girl’s opinion.”

“Oh.” Was all he could say. It made sense, you were a girl while he was a boy. There were certain things he may not understand from a guy’s perspective and he couldn’t defend himself.

“Don’t worry. I learned my lesson. If I like someone, I’ll be sure to tell you.” You promised.

But you never did.

“And I will do the same back.” He added, to open your communication together.

“You know I don’t think you ever told me you had a crush on someone.” You mentioned, tilting your head as you gazed into the distance with wonder.

You heard a deep chuckle followed by a vibration on your back. “That’s because back then I don’t think I liked someone enough to consider it a crush.”

“Then surely, you have someone that you like. I mean you’re in high school too with new people.”

“Yes, I’m in high school but that doesn’t mean anything.” He shrugged as he nuzzled into your neck, making you giggle at the ticklishness.

“So you don’t like any girl, or guy, or someone?” You tried your best not to assume anything. Since he didn’t like anyone, you didn’t know what he liked.

He laughed again, throwing his head back. “You’re so silly sometimes.” Exhaling, he smiled warmly while squeezing your hand. You focused on him with your doe eyes, an innocent smile faint on your lips. He looked down for a split second, hoping you didn’t notice. Judging by the continued look on your face, you weren’t seeing anything out of the ordinary. But he could see everything changing in him, in you, and between each other.

He was stuck in this conundrum. It would be selfish of him to tell you how he felt after getting your heart broken by another. You most likely won’t reciprocate back and he doesn’t even know how you think of him beyond being his best friend. He also didn’t want to ruin the friendship, the strong bond you two created for nearly ten years to be destroyed because he caught feelings for you. He loves you. Dear God, he was in love with you and only you.

But he couldn’t do it. And he didn’t know if he will ever.

“I-If-If I like someone, I’ll be sure to tell you, Blue.” He replied carefully as his fingers tapped over the smooth skin on the back of your hands.

But he never did.

“‘Kay!” You didn’t think any more of it. In fact, you felt a whole lot better after talking to Taehyung. He always knew how to reassure you about your insecurities and dilemmas your teenage brain liked to give you and cause harm. Your fingers found their way to intertwine with his. “At least I know I’ll always have one guy in my life that I’ll love.” His eyes widened, lips slightly parting. “I will always love you, Hyungie.” You pressed your lips onto his soft cheek before you laid your head onto the crevice of his shoulder.

He doesn’t know if you felt how hard his heart thumped in his chest. If you did, you don’t bother bringing it up. He doesn’t know this feeling, was it good or bad? But having you in his arms felt so perfect. Yet the fear of you finding out dreaded his entire soul. It would break him if something were to happen between you two. Was this what being in love was like? Why was it scaring him?

“A-and I will always love you, Blue.” He meant it at the bottom of his heart, but he didn’t mean it in the way you did.

And he doesn’t think it would be from here on.

-

You made it through the day with Taehyung. An invisible thin barrier held you back earlier in the day, but it eventually evaporated the more you talked to him, like how you were before. You don’t know how many hours passed in that cafe because together you spent all that time eating and playing with the cats. You opened up a little more to him and told him about your college years and why you chose to move to Seoul.

You explained how stagnant life has been for you for a while and thought you’d lead to nowhere if you continued to stay in the area you lived for your entire life. You managed to get by and thought of suppressing the feeling until your grandfather convinced you. You were very much hesitant, as it was going to be out of your comfort zone, but you and he both knew it was the right decision to make. It was also the only school that accepted you that wasn’t in Geochang, because it was the only one you applied for that wasn’t Geochang.

Taehyung did try to ask a question about your grandfather, but he noticed how brief and vague your answers were. You changed the subject and turned it on him when he did so. Maybe you weren’t ready to talk about it? Or you just didn’t want to tell him. Ever since his family moved as well as the passing of your grandmothers, contact has been lost through the years. Even if Taehyung tried to contact back, he wouldn’t know if you were still in Geochang or not and unfortunately, he did not have the time to check.

Nonetheless, the two of you enjoyed your time together. Of course, while staying hidden for Taehyung’s sake. After the cafe, he drove back into the city where he kinda took you shopping. You say kinda because he attempted to buy things for you and you said no, but he didn’t care so you just walked away from him. He got the message and begged for forgiveness, but it was all fine. You treated him corn dogs as a light snack or at least attempted to because when you pulled out of your wallet, he tapped his card with ease. 

When the sun went down, you assumed the day was over, but not for the idol. He took you to a jazz nightclub he has been dying to go to for ages. Everyone he invited was always busy or tired. He even invited Clara, and they were about to go but she got sick.

The opportunity was right there, so Taehyung insisted. You didn’t mind at all, you were excited about it. By the end of the time there, you loved every second of it, even catching some songs here and there. It surprised him, but he never realized until now that it was you who introduced him to the love of jazz.

Nighttime fell when the both of you got out, and the city lights illuminated the area. For a Sunday night, it was pretty crowded and Taehyung suggested going somewhere quiet. You were about to protest that it was time to go home, but your stomach gargled aloud that the idol wanted to put food in you right away. Knowing he wasn’t taking a no on this one, you gave up.

But you settled for some street food, rice and fish cakes, bibimmyeon, suyuk,and ice cream for dessert. Taehyung knew a nearby park and thought it’d be nice to eat under a tree, getting away from all the people. So here you were—stomachs filled to the brim and enjoying the nice view from where you say while tasting the sweet confection.

Once in a while, Taehyung mentioned memories of him and his members regarding instances perfect for the moment. This one was about the park. “I used to come here a lot with Jimin actually, when we were younger. It was always secluded, so even after debut, no one was around.”

“I wonder why? This place is amazing at night.” Your eyes roamed at the calm scenery. The cooling autumn wind caressed you while the hours of darkness cascaded around. The stars weren’t as prominent, but they were exchanged by the blinking lights of the city buildings and skyscrapers. 

It almost felt like deja vu.

Taehyung looked over towards you and noticed how you stared into the outlook. A tender grin crept on your mouth as you slowly closed your eyes.

“Never bothered to ask that when you finally get privacy.” He muttered as he finished his ice cream and threw it in the trash bag you made. “Been a while since I came here though. I miss it here. Jimin would also like it too.”

A giggle came out of you, “You talk about your members a lot.”

“I-Is-Is that noticeable?” A peak of blush swiped across his cheeks.

“Well, from the whole day, yeah. I practically know everything about them through you.” You snuffed in delight. “It’s nice though. You care about them. I’m sure with the break, you don’t see them as often?”

“Yeah, the last time I saw everyone together was Jungkook’s party. Everyone is doing their own thing.” Taehyung informed with a deep sigh. “I do care about them, and miss them. But lately, it’s a bit of bother sometimes that I’m glad I’m away from them.”

You flung your eyes open in shock before turning to meet his attention. “What do you mean?”

“There’s just a lot going on in my own life, and I feel like they coddle or smother me with things.” He explained, but not enough to give too many details. He has yet to tell you what his current situation was and was a bit insecure about it. He knew you wouldn’t judge, you were the last person he’d ever think to judge, but the timing wasn’t right. He recently got you back into his life, but he thought it would be too much for you to find out what happened to your best friend all these years in between. A bit ashamed, really.

Unlike him, you don’t further speculate. You hummed in response, moving forward from the topic. But you do say, “As you care for them, they care for you even if it’s the type you don’t want.”

He didn’t have any response to that. Instead, he shifted the topic to something lighter to mend his curiosity. “You know how you’ve been following the group and all,” The idol began and you waited for him to continue. “So who’s your favorite in the group?”

With that, a hearty laugh spewed out of your lips with your shoulders shaking. Taehyung’s eyes widened at your giddy expression. This was the first time he heard you laugh so hard since the reunion. If anything, in a while for that matter. He missed that wonderful sound, seeing the happiness and enjoyment shine off of you. It was the best thing he ever experienced with you.

“Why?” You asked as the giggling died down.

“I mean you’ve seen our content and finally met the guys, so I’m sure you would have a favorite.” Taehyung reasoned as he leaned back into the tree trunk. “Despite loving us equally, fans have those bias and bias wreckers, right?”

“They would freak out if they knew that you knew that.” You said before exhaling deeply. “I guess I do have a favorite.”

“Who?” He sounded way too excited there, then realized you probably never chose him so he shrunk into his body.

“Do you think it would have been you?” You inquired humorously.

“A-At first, but then, I forgot we’ve stopped talking and…you hated me.”

You observed his behavior, feeling rather unguarded of himself when he spoke. You sensed the shame seeping out of him. “Yeah, we didn’t talk but I never hated you, Taehyung.” You licked your lips, remembering the earlier times when you did say those hurtful words. “I did say it back then, but as I said, I never meant it.”

“So, does that mean I was your favorite?” His pupils sparkled underneath the moonlight.

“No, it’s Hoseok.” You replied scoffingly. “Even if I didn’t hate you, that didn’t mean I chose you as my favorite. Are you kidding me?” You say as you finished your dessert, and threw it into the bag.

“So why Hoseok Hyung?” The pout on his lips was so evident that he was somewhat offended you didn’t choose him. “What does he have that made you pick him?”

“First off, super talented with his rapping and dancing. I like his style, as an artist and for fashion. He’s practically innocent in all the shit you do with games and jokes, I feel bad sometimes just watching him get punished. Sweet, down to Earth, great smile, handsome, I forgot to sa—”

“Okay, I get it. You like him!” The idol interjected. His tone was infused with green envy as you were able to list down many characteristics about his member without thought.

You grinned at how he was being, but never acknowledged it so he wouldn’t be embarrassed as much. But maybe, just maybe you wanted to point another thing out. “It also sealed the deal when you had to kiss him as a penalty.”

A combination of grimace, scowl, and disgust appeared on his face at the horrible and traumatizing memory. It was a punishment, for something he can’t remember and didn’t want to, but it was still a punishment. It also didn’t help that that was his first kiss. Hoseok hated it, he hated it, and for that, it was lost in the past until you brought it up.

“Please, don’t bring that up.” He wallowed in agony, but you kept smiling. “Before you say anything else, yes, he was my first kiss. It’s one of the most tragic things ever.”

While he covered his face with his palms, he doesn’t notice the smile going flat on you as you watched him. Once he looked back up, you held the curves of the mouth up. “It’s fine. At least we both have shitty first kisses, but you had it with someone you care for.”

Taehyung muttered something you couldn’t quite comprehend before his phone vibrated on the grass. It caught both of your attention and saw that it was Clara messaging him. There were twenty-four messages specifically. He then grabbed his phone to view her texts.

The harsh taps on his screen followed him throwing his phone into his jacket. Frowning as he looked back up into the sky, he blew a sigh through his nostrils. He seemed frustrated, probably from what was said in between texts. You didn’t want to assume thought. You then checked the time and it was close to midnight. Maybe that had to do with it.

“We should go, it’s getting late.” You cleared your throat as you began gathering the trash bags.

His head turned in your direction, “Are you tired?”

“Kinda, I also have school and work tomorrow.” You stated. “You should go home too because Clara might get upset for not coming home early.”

“She’s fine.” He mumbled, waving it off. “I just told her we’re still having our dinner and stuff…”

He wasn’t necessarily lying, but it didn’t sound right either. “Was she okay with it?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” He shrugged before smacking his lips. “So do you wanna go home now? Don’t want you to stay out too late to have fewer hours of sleep. How’s that by the way?”

You rolled your eyes, grinning a little at his concern for your health. “Better, but I still don’t get the ideal eight hours. Grad school is a bit hard and time-consuming, so it’s nice to do things like this.” You gestured around you.

“So I’m assuming you don’t want to go yet?” The idol smirked as he nodded toward the parking lot.

You thought about it for a second. If Clara was fine with him staying out and spending time with you, then you guessed that it wouldn’t hurt to stay a little longer. You were enjoying the view before you when she texted. “Maybe a few more minutes.” You held your thumb and index up, signaling a tiny space between the two as emphasis.

Taehyung chuckled at your demeanor, he saw more of a playful you opening up. He too didn’t want to leave just yet, and certainly not leave because his girlfriend said so. This was his time with you, and he wanted to cherish it.

The both of you continued to sit in silence, gazing into the city night. This place was a perfect spot to see the bridge, the buildings, and the lights, yet remained secluded. It was fascinating to you how different Seoul nights were compared to Geochang. Your hometown wasn’t as crowded and you would always see familiar faces. However, here, every day was different, and areas were swarming. Though the majority of the customers were old, working at the restaurant made you shocked at how late people enjoyed going out. If anything, Geochang had an unofficial curfew at ten at night.

As you were staring, there was a little voice in your head shouting about Clara. After meeting and conversing with her, you saw how genuine and lovely the socialite was. She was invested in the things you spoke about as well as passionate about what she does but remained as humble. Clara would ask questions about how Taehyung was when he was younger and learned more about her boyfriend.

You didn’t hate her, there was no reason to. She was always good to you, but deep down, you felt somewhat uncomfortable being near her. You found yourself comparing her to you, and you didn’t understand why. After all, she was Kim Taehyung’s girlfriend of five years—that was a long time and would probably marry her.

While you were just an estranged friend from his younger years.

“So…” You spoke out, taking his attention away from the scenery. “I didn’t mention it before, but good to see you with someone. You and Clara.”

“Really?” He sounded in disbelief. 

“Yeah,” Your pitch was a little higher than usual, but you were genuine.

The entire time you’ve known him, he never voiced out liking or wanting anyone. It concerned and agitated you at one point, even when he left for training. You really don’t know what happened in that ten-year gap, but he came out with a pretty steady girlfriend who loves him dearly. 

“At least by now, I know you can fall in love or have a crush on someone.” You quipped as you nudged him by the shoulder. He stayed quiet for a bit, processing what you said but you continued with your speech. “I think Clara’s great for you, almost complementing your entire aura. You have an old soul while she’s very refreshing.” While you blabbered away about his girlfriend, Taehyung felt sour and filled with a grimace which he tried his best to cover it up with a deadpan. “On top of it all besides being sweet, Taehyung, she’s so gorgeous. You would pick someone like her. She’s so pr—”

“Excuse me, ___.” He cuts you off with irritation oozing out of his pores. Your eyes stayed on his, wondering what set him off on what you said. You weren’t saying anything negative or ridiculing at all. “You know you’re beautiful too.”

His words threw you off, making you snort in disbelief and shook your head. Why did that even matter right now? You kept a joyous expression in contrast to the seriousness Taehyung held. “I know…ish.”

That was also true. You have grown to accept and love yourself for who you were and what you looked like after many adolescent years of struggle. Your features didn’t exceed the high standards of Clara, but you made it a point and lifestyle in your grown life that before your grandmother died, she always mentioned how uniquely captivating you always were, looking different in the best way possible.

Of course, it was shocking to get compliments from others. As well as your conscious had a habit of making you compare yourself to others, whether it was good or bad. Like for this instance—Clara.

But you wanted to breeze on from his statement. “But that’s beside the point—”

“No, I hear that tone, ___. You’re comparing yourself to her.” Taehyung informed as if it was a fact about you, which it was. Yet you didn’t want him to know that.

You sighed, not understanding the big deal of it all. “I’m not talking down on myself! I swear. I’m just saying…” Your eyes shifted down to the ends of your dress. “Clara is pretty and you really won with her.”

“I don’t care about pretty. I love beautiful.”

That caused you to lift your head and meet his eyes, which you didn’t know pierced at you for who knew how long. You didn’t even realize how near he has gotten to you. The fabric of your clothes touched his pants. Your torsos twisted to continue the eye contact.

The look on him…was a familiar feeling and time. It held something you didn’t want to see or think about after those years of struggle because if you did, another wall buried deep down inside your entity would come crashing down.

“Taehyung, you can’t—”

“I can.” He disagreed, leaning closer. “Because I remembered promising you that I’d show you how beautiful you are, how special you really are, ___.”

“This literally has nothing to do with me!” You refuted, trying to deny any claim he had about you. But you stayed frozen as he slowly inched forth. It wasn’t odd because Taehyung was always known to be affectionate, but it sure was concerning you right now. “Can’t I compliment your gorgeous girlfriend?”

“No, because she already gets that from everyone around her. She doesn’t need any more of that.” He grumbled. His eyes quickly glanced down at your face, enough for you to notice. “But it relates to you because of your eyes. They held insecurity and concern, I remember that look. It was the same look when you got your heartbroken back in middle school by that dumbass boy.”

It surprised you at times, how Taehyung was able to catch on and read you like a book even after years of disappearance. From the first couple of months of renewing the friendship, not a time goes by when he remembered little things about you despite your constant protest of being a changed person. Maybe personality-wise shifted into a cruel sarcastic approach, but the habits were consistent.

Albeit to your annoyance to him on that, you couldn’t help but do the same more often than you should.

“___, when I say this, I mean it and I take it to my grave,” Taehyung announced, irises boring at yours with no play. “Stop comparing yourself to others. I know it’s hard, but it’s harder to live with it. It doesn’t help you or the others around you. I never liked when you do that.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, hearing his objection. You didn’t want what you said to end up like this, but there was no doubt that he interpreted it to a t. You didn’t think he’d still care enough about you like that. What else goes on in his head that you didn’t expect?

Out of nowhere, he held your cheek with his palm, snapping you out of your daze. He was now so close to you that with any movement, something would touch. It was like before when you were younger with him and had the status of a best friend with a purposeful and deeper meaning. “You’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life, ___.” Your pupils dilated at his reveal. Cheeks spreading with flushness and warmth you hated to expect. “Wouldn’t want any better. Any person would be lucky to have you.”

Excuse me? He said that way too personally. Why the fuck would he say that to you? It started to frighten you, furrowing your eyebrows and cocking your head to the side. Yet he focused on your reaction with sincerity, nothing in what he spoke upon held no lie and you knew it.

There was a pause in the air, holding your breaths. The familiar warmth to your irises soothed his body down just by the look. It was as if his vision pulled him back in time where he saw you exactly like this, underneath a tree late at night with sparkles gleaming on you. The swift capture of your thirteen-year-old self before your current self settled before him. He wanted this moment to last for as long as he remembered.

And without thinking, he closed the gap between you two as he shuts his eyes and puckered his lips.

Hoping to find softness and sweetness, but there was no avail on the other side. It was the complete opposite. A harsh reddened ache ran through his cheek before he peeled his eyes open to reveal a raging you fueled with perfidy.

You smacked his face again, but this time harder than the last before you pushed yourself away from him, almost a meter away. Your mouth gaped as you stood up from the grass and patted yourself clean to get the fuck away from him.

Eyes widening as large as a goldfish, Taehyung realized what he tried to do. Scrambling to get up and beg for redemption, he tried to speak but you interrupted him. “Here I thought you wanted to be my friend again, but you deceived me and I don’t want nothing of it!” You snarled before grabbing your bad and shouldering it over.

“Wait, ___. I’m sorry! I don’t know what c—”

“Save it! I don’t wanna hear your bullshit!” There you walked away from the scene angry and disappointed with shame all over you. You needed to get away, you couldn’t stay. But you were pulled back by the wrist and twirled around to see a worried and frightened idol searching for mercy on you.

“___, please. I-I’m sorry, I—”

You snatched your wrist back, breathing through your nostrils in hopes it calmed your wrath. “I don’t care if you’re sorry! Fucking think about your girlfriend! Why would you even fucking dare to do that?”

“I-I wasn’t thi—”

All of sudden, you yanked him by his collar. Pulling him close to see the break of trust in your livid pupils, you seethed, “I will not be some home wrecker.” You pushed him roughly, almost making him imbalance but he stabilized his feet. “You lost my trust. I don’t wanna fucking see you anymore.”

You never looked back and continued your path out of the park. You thought he would have followed you again, but when you heard the cries of your name at a distance, you knew he wasn’t going to try. Maybe you were too rash, or maybe you said things you didn’t mean. It didn’t matter anymore.

But you knew that if you ever saw him again, you would think differently of him.

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee @thvxstf @dahliasbouqet @bertqut1 @fuckthinking @taebangtanbabe

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter VII: The True Reality

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: This chapter is HEAVY ANGST (basically trauma dumping), unhealthy coping mechanism (alcohol use), descriptions of financial instability, illness (a loved one has it), lying/deception, verbal fighting (manipulation?gaslighting?), unhealthy relationship (both in and out of the flashbacks), implied smut, semi-sexual themes, I kinda just wanna hug both of them, kenji is the real one rn :D, but damnnn just wait for the ending

Word Count: 13.3k

A/N: tbh writing this chapter was a little hard if I remember lol, only because of how I wanted to structure the timelines and the back and forth. It ended differently and I added to it, but I hope you enjoy it!! Feedback and comments are appreciated ❣️

Chapter VII: The True Reality || Series Masterlist

Sounds of scraping and dragging from your heels crashing alongside the rundown concrete ripped through the cooling midnight. With your phone in one hand and your bag in another, you tried to navigate through the city to make your way back to your apartment.

What was uncalled for was not realizing you were on the other side of the city and away from your destination. Of course, you were. Taehyung took you to an enriched area, safer to say the least. Nevertheless, it took you almost an hour by bus and train to reach where you lived, a more cryptic and hostile part of the city.

Walking up through the entrance, you glanced up at your apartment complex. It stayed on a shallow hill and was constructed with old red and white bricks, probably built over forty years ago. When you first moved in, the majority of your neighbors were the elderly but they yelled behind closed doors and all had petrifying little dogs barking. There were some younger ones, but none below 30. At one point when you left for school, a woman chased her half-naked husband out of their home with a frying pan. Paint peeled off the lobby walls, dirtied floors, and dark markings you didn’t even want to know, rusted mailboxes on one side, some trash left on the other. 

At the very least, this was one of the more secure buildings on this block, having decent front locks, a code entrance, and a visible working elevator. Once you entered inside, you got onto the lift and pressed your floor button twice, because if you didn’t, it wouldn’t have worked properly.

You reached your door and closed it behind you while triple locking it to ensure your own safety. You mundanely scanned the humble abode that was your home. Surprisingly or in this case, an old lady neighbor who snooped at your apartment when you were moving, said you had the better spaces in the building. It used to belong to some guy who had problems, her words not yours. You politely ended that conversation, not wanting to know anything else.

Your apartment was still empty after settling down for months. The only few pieces of furniture besides your bed and dresser were the futon table right in the middle of your living room and the floor lamp. You didn’t even buy it; you found it on the side of the street as it was being thrown away. But it still looked brand new, so you took it in.

You headed towards the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. Afterward, you sat on the wooden floor, settling down at the table. Exhaling, you slouched onto the cool surface. You stared blankly at the half-filled glass, processing what has happened to you.

Though you calmed yourself down when you rode the bus, you were still upset about what Taehyung almost did. He professed your appearance, didn’t agree to your compliments of his girlfriend, and forgot he even had one for a split second as he tried to kiss you. Just thinking about made you grunt in fury, slamming down a fist onto the table causing the glass and furniture to tremble on the impact.

You thought, you really thought that your friendship was starting to revive and thrive for the better. Now you’re definitely uncertain. It scared you because you don’t think Taehyung was ever like that before. Not once did he try anything. Again, he was a physically affectionate person but you’d think there would be boundaries with it if you had a significant other, right?

You were perplexed, wondering what the fuck is he doing. Maybe this was something new about him, a changed person? But yet, it wasn’t right to do and Taehyung would have known that too. Why was he about to ruin a perfectly stable relationship with Clara? It doesn’t make sense. 

However, as you pondered on it for a while and in the comfort of your home, there were certain speculations that you found that seemed questionable of their relationship. For starters, Taehyung never mentioned anything about a girlfriend until his members brought it up at the restaurant. Even then, he still didn’t talk about her to you, not even her name.

Every time you saw him and Clara together, the proclaimed physically affectionate Taehyung was nowhere to be found. When outside in public was given, but from Jungkook’s party, they linked arms and she’d lean on his shoulder but that was it. Nothing was coming from his end. Before you went out with him earlier today, he didn’t even kiss or hug her goodbye. It confused you because you watched him do that to his members, friends, and even you despite your rough edges of his touching.

Finally, for now, just an hour ago, your eyes focused on his phone when he received messages. It may be due to his idol status and to hide his personal life, but his device held no signs of Clara or being in a relationship with her. No change of her display name, no Lock Screen photo of them together, and certainly constant messaging back and forth on both ends.

Not once did Taehyung take his phone out throughout the day. If he did so, it was to take pictures before putting his device back into his pocket. You wondered what consisted of their relationship, what was really happening between the two, and maybe that was how they worked. He was an idol and she was a socialite after all, both in the world of media, famous for different reasons, yet a closet powerhouse couple. It was practically the perfect relationship everyone wanted.

It was all so unusual because you heard many remarkable things about them together. They were strong, in love as their eyes told it all, they were even living together!

Rumors of them getting married sparked among their close circle.

Your conscious made you feel guilty. Perhaps even thinking about it too much. Why were you putting your nose into something that wasn’t even about you? You were nothing, which should stay that way. You learned that the hard way and it left a pungent taste in your mouth when a gruesome snippet played in your mind. If you were to be something, it would be a nuisance that ruined the perfect relationship of society because of the attempt Taehyung made.

Thinking back, you were mean to him, ending the on/off friendship again of something minuscule from an outsider’s perspective. But you had to give yourself a little bit of credit because what if it happened again? You know, him begging for your forgiveness, you accepting it, and it repeats. Perhaps next time, he would have succeeded. You didn’t want to risk it. It wasn’t right to him, to Clara, and most definitely to you.

The only way to keep it from happening was to remain distant once again. Maybe getting too close was a sign. Rumors would spread and be twisted as the spiderwebs of communication get tangled by misjudgment and severe impressions. You didn’t want anyone else to interpret your relationship with him in such a way.

Then again, no one ever understood your bond with him. Not before, and most likely not now either. 

-

Taehyung slammed his car door shut before hitting the steering wheel out of frustration. Did he really just let you go like that? He didn’t know where you would be, if you got home, if you were okay. All he knew was that he pissed you off and your friendship was probably nonexistent with your words. He was ashamed of himself, why did he do that?

It came out of nowhere, even shocking him at the moment too. He just—when he looked at you, everything felt so right in his shitty life. All his troubles would go away, knowing that you were there. You stared at him like how you did when you were younger, he must have traveled back in time to when his teenage self found out that he was in love with you.

What a simpler yet scary experience that must have been for him. All he worried about was how much he was head over heels for you, but he never confessed. Not even when he left for Seoul and sure as hell, not after all those years. He kept this secret only to himself. No one knew and probably never will.

But he realized he slipped on that one, both parties not expecting that. Where was he going with this? He still wanted your friendship, which mattered to him the most even back then. He never wanted to ruin it, but he probably has now.

Why did he do that? After he ended the friendship on a whim, he constantly thought about you and missed you a lot. Years and years of thinking didn’t vanish even when he started dating Clara. You were literally in his life for more than half of his life.

Maybe it was longing, wanting you back into his life. But he finally got you! Well before he fucked up. So why did he try to kiss you?

Ugh, he wiped the excess distressed tears off his eyes and cheeks. Now he really wished for your forgiveness. He messed up in the past and he managed to have redemption. Perhaps your patience ran thinner, and you “not acknowledging his status of best friend” probably forced him to be kept on his toes. You had to show him that he couldn’t keep fucking up like he used to.

He looked over to the passenger’s seat and spotted your peace lily plant. Oh, how the night changed so fast.

He wanted to make things right, but he couldn’t do it now. He had to keep his distance, so you wouldn’t snap.

Still, he thought about how he let his stupidity get in the way, hating himself. He loathed this feeling, he needed to stop thinking about it because it would only get worse. He needed to get away from everything.

-

“Taehyung?” Seojoon croaked, rubbing his slumbered eyes to take a glimpse of his younger friend. He woke up when the idol called saying he was outside. He was too spaced out to even question, so he padded his way toward the entrance. Taehyung went inside before the actor closed and locked the door. The older man wiped his bare face with his hands, letting out a sigh. “The fuck are you doing here?”

“I need a drink with my Hyung.” Knowing the layout of his friend’s one-story house, he strutted into the kitchen and searched through his cabinets for his alcohol stash. Seojoon was known to have variety in his liquors, which he took pride in, but that also meant free drinks for his friends every time they came over.

He found a half-empty bottle of whiskey in the cupboard. Being the thoughtful friend that he was, he picked it up and twisted the cap off before downing it. The burning sensation dragged inside his throat passed his intestines and reached his stomach acids. He burped heavily after clearing the bottle and settling it on the kitchen island to grab another drink.

“Hey, you know you have your limits here.” Seojoon reminded as he grabbed the unopened whiskey from the idol. Taehyung didn’t even fight back but watched him retrieve two old-fashioned crystal glasses from his cabinets. There he poured the syrup-hued content into the cups, then offered the idol one.

They cheered the drinks together before taking a strong sip. “Why’d you come here? It’s almost two in the morning. You’re lucky I don’t have an early schedule in the morning.”

“Hyung, I fucked up.” Taehyung groaned as he tasted the liquor on his tongue.

Unlike his members and especially Jimin, Taehyung felt very comfortable with his friends to the point where he can really be himself and not have to worry about it and what they say. Think of the members as family. You couldn’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends.

It was easy to tell Seojoon, the eldest and played the role of the father of their group. He was more forgiving than his older Hyungs, still caring, still understanding of Taehyung’s perspective yet stern. But when the idol told him about what recently happened, the actor cocked his eyebrow up with concern.

“Why’d you do that?” Seojoon questioned.

“I don’t know…” Taehyung muttered as he swirled the content of his cup around. “It was all unexpected. But she stopped it.”

“Well, that’s good. Otherwise, you’d be a cheater, Tae, and we wouldn’t want that.” The older man said seriously, yet Taehyung lets out an airy laugh before gulping more alcohol. His reaction made him curious. “Why’d you laugh?”

“Ahhh, nothing. Probably the alcohol getting to me.” Taehyung snickered, brushing it off too quickly for Seojoon’s liking. But the older one decided to let it go for now.

“Would you have wanted her to stop it?”

“Huh, what do you mean?”

“How about this?” Seojoon piped as he squinted his eyes in wonder. “If she didn’t back away, and you two kissed, what do you think it’ll mean? What does this say about your friendship with her now?”

What would have happened if he actually kissed you? “I-I-I don’t know.”

Expecting that answer, the actor sighed. “Then you’re lucky, she slapped the shit out of you.” He grimaced as he stared at the inflamed marking on his swollen cheek.

“Yeah, but Hyung, our friendship is basically destroyed now. Knowing her reaction, don’t you think it’d be a lose-lose situation whether or not it happened?” Taehyung’s thoughts were in shambles with alcohol fluffing up his brain.

“It’s better than not knowing.” Seojoon vaguely explained, but somehow it applied to all contexts. “Look, if anything, it’d be worse on the other end because you’d hurt a lot more people, i.e. you, Clara, and ___. It just sucks for you that ___’s still the one that’ll hurt in either case.”

Taehyung exhaled before chugging down the whiskey. He had a nasty shiver down his spine, while Seojoon observed with a scowl. “Do you think she meant it when our friendship is over? She never smacked me before either.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know her that well.” Seojoon honestly responded, making Taehyung pout. “But judging by the times I met her, I think she was spiteful at the moment. She seems…very forgiving, especially towards you. I mean, technically you are the closest person to her in Seoul besides that coworker. If you say it was an honest mistake, then maybe she’ll understand.”

They were met with silence, basking in the conversation. Taehyung poured himself another drink, as the alcohol rapidly got to him. He hoped Seojoon was right, but he feared otherwise. It was difficult to understand when he doesn’t truly know how you felt about him. You still held this weird distance despite his attempts. He wasn’t able to fully engage himself in the friendship if you didn’t reciprocate back and he wanted you to so badly.

“I don’t suppose you’re leaving anytime soon.” Seojoon huffed. “I refuse for you to drive wasted. God knows what happened the last time, you’re lucky you didn’t get far!”

“Hey, I crashed into your mailbox. It wasn’t that bad!”

“Still! I don’t even know how you stole the keys from me.” Seojoon shook his head in disappointment. “But go to the guest room! Sleep the drunk off and maybe get a cab in the morning.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Taehyung grumbled, finishing up his whiskey. With shaking legs, he stood up and wobbled towards the room. Before he entered, Seojoon called for him.

Grabbing the idol’s attention, Seojoon said, “Just reflect on what you’re doing. I don’t know if you talk about it with your therapist and all, but please do if you aren’t. Maybe he’ll help you with how to approach ___. Also, don’t do anything that would hurt Clara.”

As soon as his back touched the sheets of the full-sized bed, Taehyung sighed. He thought about the last words Seojoon said. Don’t do anything that would hurt Clara. He scoffed at them. 

Yeah, yeah. Everything had to be done to stop her from hurting. Never him.

-

Staring into the bathroom mirror, you stayed restless. You couldn’t sleep at all last night, resulting in the bags and dark circles around your lifeless eyes. The sun wasn’t even out yet and came later in the day due to the changing of the seasons. You wanted to punch yourself for registering for an 8 AM on a Monday, but there was no other choice since it was the only course topic available.

You indeed had a long day ahead of you. Fortunately, you had classes until noon, but that meant you started work afterward. But that was okay, you just hoped Taehyung got the picture of leaving you alone for some time or forever.

You had to at least appear less dead than you actually were. Maybe some nice earrings would help. You usually had on your necklace, but a little more wouldn’t hurt. Walking back to your bedroom, you reached for your jewelry box to grab that was gifted to you from the Kim family for Christmas when you were younger. Though you don’t talk to them anymore, the gift held a special place in your heart and memories.

When you pulled the said jewelry, the velvet cushion tugged out of the box as well. Separating the two with ease, you were about to place it back inside but something caught your eye. You hooked onto it and touched the symbol of your friendship. Worn down and faded tones over time and smaller than it used to look, you found your old friendship bracelet. The charms were still intact, yet you could see the damage made from careless bumps and scraps against surfaces and edges. Your initial charm had a small piece missing from a very heavy and infuriating throw to the wall.

You still remembered that day clearly, weeks after the last call.

You made your attempts to contact Taehyung and also waited for him to call back. But he never did. He blocked your phone and messenger, so during these times, you’ve been taking advantage of his siblings’ cell phones. You didn’t fully explain to the two what happened between you and their brother, only the fact that he wasn’t answering you anymore.

Sungyeon and Eunjeong didn’t know either, but they were willing to help you. They’d take turns giving you the phone. It hurt knowing that it rang while you got the automatic voice, but you felt that there was still hope in your friendship left. Oftentimes, it did go straight to voicemail during the day and he would call back at night when you weren’t with the siblings. You asked them to never mention your name and how you’ve tried reaching out. So all those feeble attempts were assumptions of his siblings missing him.

It was until one day after school that he finally answered your call on Eunjeong’s phone. The simple greeting of his “hello” wanted to make you cry into tears of relief, but you feared everything in between the call. You didn’t know if he needed more time away, but you missed everything about him. It has been a struggle with the distance, as well as the planning for your grandmother’s funeral. You wanted his comfort by any means. If it was through the phone of his sister, then so be it.

There was so much to be said yet no words came out of your mouth. “Hello? Hello, Jeongie? What’s up? I have a break. You good?”

Eunjeong stared widely, waiting for you to respond. She nudged your shoulder and nodded. You parted your mouth shakily before clearing your throat. “H-Hyungie. It’s me, Blue.” Then silence came after, being so loud that a dull white noise interfered. It was quite nerve-racking. You don’t know if he heard you, so you repeated. “Hyungie. It’s me—”

The dial tone met your ear. You looked back at the phone, seeing Eunjeong’s Home Screen. He ended the call before you could finish the sentence.

Your shoulders deflated into your body and you curled forward. Your body trembled as the tears began to fall off your face. Seeing you like this, Eunjeong shook her head in rage at her brother’s behavior. Regardless, she knew you needed some comfort and she was the only one to give it to you.

She looped her arms around you, rubbing your back to soothe your cries. So much has happened in your life, and Taehyung had the audacity to hurt you too? He was never harsh to you so what happened?

Suddenly her phone rang, catching the two of your attention. It was Taehyung again. Eunjeong glanced at you, shaking your head in refusal. You were scared of being rejected again.

She sighed but thought might as well answer his call. She pulled her phone to her ear and said, “What?” You couldn’t hear him very well, but you heard his shouts. “I don’t care about damn honorifics right now. Why are you being rude to ___?” Yelling again. “What? Why should I? I’m not helping you with your mess—” A sigh, then a milder response. “You can’t ju—I don’t wanna say th—” His voice was softer. “This is all on you. I don’t want her to be shunning our family from your shit.”

A quieter conversation happened between the siblings while you watched it unravel before you. You wiped your tears when you heard, “Whatever, fine. Fuck you!” Eunjeong ended the call before she threw her device onto her mattress. “Annoying asshole.” She muttered, not caring if you heard.

You tilted your head questionably as you asked, “What’d he say?”

Her pupils felt twisted as she struggled to approach what her brother wanted her to convey. It was so wrong and wanted to fight him because not once did you do anything wrong. She bit her lips as a debate broke out in her mind. She knew you weren’t going to take it well, but whoever does when your best friend wanted you out of his life.

Yet your eyes encouraged her to speak up. You were afraid, but at least you knew. You would know if he needed more time or tell you to give him more space from your smothering. It would be okay because your friendship remained intact.

But once she revealed his response, every hope, every will, your bond was shattered.

You said nothing while you nodded, feigning that you understood and agreed with the situation. Eunjeong knew that was a lie, especially with the blooming of tears spilling through your eyes. But before she could even let out a sound, you stood up and ran out of their house and to yours, the cold and empty one.

You rammed your bedroom door shut and let every emotion you suppressed consume you. Screaming, weeping, punching pillows, throwing books across the room, anything to let out the hurt within you. As you were jabbing a plush toy, your friendship bracelet grabbed your distraught attention.

It was a simple symbol of your friendship. The love, care, trust, and worth between you and him. The everlasting memories held together through the strings were crumbling down at your fingertips. Conjoined, my ass. Saying that you were stuck with him and never leaving your side. Complete bullshit. He never cared for you, you were worthless to him, with no trust in sight, and most importantly—

He didn’t love you.

You pulled the bracelet off of you and threw it as hard as you could to your white walls. A cracking noise pierced through the air, the bracelet dropped on your wooden floors holding no sentimental value.

You sunk onto your bed and just let the tears fall so painfully.

You didn’t know how it got in here. Maybe your cousin who helped you pack found it and put it in by mistake. Nevertheless, you still had the bracelet with you and in your hands.

You were honest with yourself when you say that it was difficult to throw it away. It felt like a bad omen. You kept it on for so long, it almost seemed like you were going to be buried in it. The bracelet went through so much, that it, unfortunately, held sentimental value because it was with the Taehyung you once knew.

This one you met had a few quirks here and there, but wasn’t your Taehyung, your Hyungie. He may look like him, have the same birthday, parents, siblings, all of the above, but it was still not him.

It didn’t mean you refused to understand and get to know this Taehyung, but your heart was more reluctant, afraid to open up and accept his comfort and warmth. His words weren’t as trusting, but they felt familiar. You saw him through his eyes, but they were buried underneath unspoken territories. Yes, you saw how much he has been hiding things from you and you knew that they weren’t coming out any time soon. 

But you wished for them to. You missed him so much, you wanted to grab that layer of him and run away. But you couldn’t.

If you wanted that layer, you needed to accept all layers, and you weren’t ready for that.

-

Taehyung arrived back home at five in the morning. He sobered up after taking a three-hour nap. He could still feel the alcohol in him but it wasn’t too intense, so he was functional enough to drive. He didn’t say goodbye to Seojoon and left the premises, as the actor was asleep. It happened in the past, and Seojoon knew that Taehyung got home safely with the tightening trust he unfathomably held for the younger.

The idol sneakingly stepped into his living space, hoping Clara wouldn’t notice. He attempted to be quiet as a mouse and he succeeded with the front door and locks. But once he tiptoed through the living room, he was met by surprise with his enraged girlfriend sitting on the sofa holding daggers in her eyes. She had her pink robe on and bathing house slippers on with her arms crossed.

“What the fuck, Taehyung?” She yelled through her lungs. The high-pitch sound irritated his alcohol-infused body. “I’ve been texting and calling you and not once did you fucking answer.”

“I did answer you.” He rolled his eyes, not bothering to be quiet any longer. “You knew I was out.”

“Yeah, you texted once close to fucking midnight saying you were still out!” The socialite scoffed at his weak reply. “Now it’s five in the morning and you just came home!”

“Okay, what’s the big deal? I’m fucking tired!”

“Where the fuck were you? The last time I heard from you, you were still with ___. I swear to God if you tell me—”

“Well, I’m not! I wasn’t with her. She went home on her own after that text if it makes you feel any better.” He snapped back as he threw his keys on the kitchen island. “I was with Seojoon afterward. We drank and knocked out at his place.”

“Taehyung, you drank?” Clara gasped incredulously as she stood up from her seat. God, he rolled his eyes at how dramatic she was being. “Didn’t I say not to drink too much?”

“You say it, but I don’t listen.” He responded truthfully. “What’s the big deal anyway?”

“To prevent any more scandals from happening. You know what happened the last time you got too drunk?” She recapped, the memory back in her mind. “You almost got arrested for beating someone up. You’re lucky my father kept that under the rug or else it would have exposed you.”

His face scrunched up at the horrific experience. He remembered the severe panic attack he got right after, but he didn’t even remember what the guy said, but it was along the lines of bad-mouthing him and the group. But mainly, insulting him like he knew everything about Taehyung, or in that case, V of BTS.

“Well, I was with Seojoon, happy? I was fucking safe, so stop your yelling.” He sighed, feeling the weight of exhaustion on him.

“No, I’m not happy because you were gone the entire day and I was waiting for you, so we could have dinner together.” She pouted as she stepped towards him. He stepped back when she came closer. “Here I was with my cold side order of extra japchae while you’re out and about with some other fucking chick.”

If steam came out of his nostrils, it would have shown. There she went again with her damn accusations. “My God! You even knew and saw us going out! Stop insinuating shit when nothing happens.”

“I’ll fucking stop when you finally fucking have time for me!” Clara shouted back, eyes bloodshot with stress and despair. “You’re not doing anything right for me, and it hurts when I do so much for you.” He heard sniffing coming from her nose once he spotted a stream going down her cheek. “I’ve been patient and respectful with all these interests and bullshit you’re doing, but you never do it back. Don’t you love me, Taehyung?”

His mouth opened but closed back up as he gulped. “I-I-I do.”

She snorted before rolling her eyes, “Oh, yeah? Then why did you spend the whole day with some girl?”

“She’s not some girl. She’s my best friend!”

“And I’m not your fucking girlfriend?!” She protested, grabbing him by the collar and shaking his stature. With shocked eyes, he tried to calm her down, holding her arms away from him. “Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing other things with her? I know she’s your best friend, but she’s too pretty! I don’t like how much you’re so invested in her. I’m pretty too yet you don’t hang out with me!”

The crocodile tears started forming in her tear ducts, yet her voice was thick with madness. Now she was talking any shit that deemed her as the victim. ”And you have scandals with other idols and actresses. Why does that happen, but we can’t? Fuck, you’re so unfair, Tae! Where’s my loving and sweet boyfriend, huh? One who brings me flowers, takes me out on dates, goes above and be—”

“Stop fucking expecting so much from me!” He interjected, pushing her touch away. He leaned into the counter, creating distance. Raking through his hair, he grunted with annoyance. “You see how much of a fucking train wreck I am! My life is already hard as it is.”

“Yeah, I know how you’re a fucking train wreck and I hate how you’re so adamant about sticking by it!” The socialite sneered, disgusted at how he was acting. “But my life is also hard too! You know how difficult it is to keep this image of us. We,” She pointed at him, then herself. “Are supposed to be perfect, Taehyung.”

“Why do you care so much about how “perfect” we supposedly are?” He hated that that was a concern of hers. He gave no shits about how people thought about their relationship, but he couldn’t speak openly about it because people would get mad at him for disagreeing.

“Because we are their expectation.” She explained like it was obvious. “We’ve been together for five years, Tae! But this is more than just that! We aren’t doing anything like we used to because you’re not making any time. This is your fault! You never make me happy!”

Taehyung squirmed when the blame pointed at him. There it was again too. The guilt ate him for not doing anything right, getting sucked into the realm of ridicule. You can’t do this right, you can’t do that right. This was all his fault.

“I’m sorry.” The only thing he could say in defeat.

“You better be.” Clara wiped her face with the back of her hand. “Maybe I’m overreacting…I don’t want you to stop your friendship, but I’m getting tired of you not having time for me.”

The idol looked down at the floor, refusing to look at her sorrowful state. But he knew she tried making him look at her by grabbing a hold of his hands and gently squeezing them. “I’m s-sorry. T-There’s just been a lot right now with everything.” Her touch burned his skin, the discomfort growing with every second.

“I know, but can you at least try?” She begged, ducking down to see his eyes. “I’m fucking trying!”

Taehyung nodded silently as his teeth sunk into his lower lips. He held back so much and offered so little. Clara was always known to never back down. Her expectations of herself and their relationship were higher than they could be even reached. But knowing if he gave in, then the fighting would stop and maybe she would be satisfied.

He felt her dainty arms encircling his torso as a sign of peace, a thing that couples did after fighting and now making up. Something that worked in the past but now…not so much. With tensed arms, he carefully wrapped around her as well, tightening the hug and hoping it would all go away. 

“I love you, Taehyung.” She spoke softly, pushing her face into his shirt.

Her words contorted his face as he sucked in a sharp breath, but she never noticed. Lifting his hand, he laid it flat at the back of her head, caressing her hair. It took him a second before saying it back, “I-I love you too.” His focus was on her now, lips thinned but curved enough to resemble a shy smile.

Raising her head, Clara gazed into the syrup color that was his eyes. Her teary irises twinkled in awe at the beauty of her boyfriend who she loved with all her heart. Shutting her eyelids, she tiptoed higher to attach to his soft addicting lips. Once they meshed, the electricity of passion coursed through her body. He tasted like alcohol, whiskey to be exact, yet it tasted like his musk and tinge of cinnamon spreading in her mouth. It has been so long since they’d kissed like this and she only wanted more.

She pressed herself onto him, holding onto the collar of his shirt. Caught by surprise, Taehyung took a step back, hitting the edge of the counter and then narrowing his hands onto her hips. Her tongue swiped through his lips, begging him to let her in. Though reluctant, the idol accepted the action and the muscles swirled against one another.

The socialite parted away to whisper, “More, Tae. More.”

He knew this was going to happen at some point, despite his constant avoidance. But after what happened, he couldn’t dodge it any longer. His heart palpitated in agitation as he nodded once again, “I’ll give you what you want.” Then their lips touched before they ran and tangled up in their bed in their apartment.

-

“Taehyung, you’re late again,” Namjoon informed as he checked his watch, then at his heaving younger member before him.

“Sorry, I-I forgot how much time passed.” Taehyung apologized as he stabilized his breathing with his hands on his hips. But the leader held a stern stare with a clenched jaw.

“Let’s not worry about that right now. Bang PD-nim is waiting for us.” Seokjin interjected to ease some tension. “We’re all here, and all good so let’s go.”

After partnering with the Na Group conglomerate, Big Hit hosted their first stakeholder’s event near the company building with the rise of BTS’s popularity nationwide and gaining more international exposure. There have been rumors of them potentially getting invited to the Billboard Music Awards Show next year as well as a nomination, but it was too early to tell.

Being the only active group of the company, BTS was invited—but more like involuntarily told—to come to show their appreciation to the now sponsors of Big Hit. It wasn’t something they preferred since it was meeting new people but had to go to show face at the very least.

An hour into the event, while the older members were socializing with the esteemed guests, the younger ones were a bit bored and sat down at a table in the corner of the banquet. Taehyung, especially, was not only tired but not feeling it. He was the last one to get ready as he was the last one to get up out of bed despite the event being at night. He came home last night close to noon after an NDA encounter, which wasn’t all that new to the idol and the other members. But if anything, he had the most but almost never remembered their faces.

The members haven’t explicitly spoken about it to him but ever since Taehyung became an adult, he hasn’t been…doing so well. The older ones specifically Namjoon and Yoongi assumed that it was just a blue transitional period of his life, but got too excessive with the drinking, one-night stands, and fights. But not with the members, fights with random people, yet still it was difficult to keep that away from the media. If he turned to fighting with members, then that would cause problems, right?

Anyways, he hasn’t been himself and it has been a growing concern. Jimin always worried for his best friend, as Taehyung was the least expectant to take on this spiral. He would usually talk enthusiastically and do things playfully and passionately, especially when they were trainees. Although for a good year after BTS debuted, Taehyung also had a rough time and felt down. None of them knew what happened, apart from the falling out of his childhood friend back home but didn’t think much of it…well, except for Jimin.

Your friendship with Taehyung was always questionable to him. Not in a bad way, it was different, to say the least. He never met you, only heard your voice. But the mannerisms Taehyung gave out were not what a best friend would do. Because what kind of best friend whines about missing your cuddles?

Either way, Taehyung always denied that you were nothing more than a best friend and eventually Jimin gave up. But when his friend continues acting out after being a dumbass and never contacting you again even after almost four years later, the question comes out every so often.

Jimin and Jungkook tried their best into helping their member out, but nothing seemed to work. Seokjin and Hoseok suggested new hobbies…but that, unfortunately, took the wrong track with the NDA collections and drinking. The members faced a wall, unable to come up with a better way to help him.

But then in the corner of his eyes, Jungkook spotted something particular. Or rather felt eyes watching their table. Subtly sensing the direction, the youngest spotted a young lady staring. She was by all means one of the prettiest visuals to see, absolutely breathtaking. Not really the youngest’s type, but nice to look at nonetheless.

However, though he felt her gaze all over, it wasn’t necessarily directed toward him. She was completely oblivious to Jungkook. He followed her eyes, which then landed on the second youngest, Kim Taehyung, himself. But he ignored his setting completely, reading a manga chapter on his phone.

Jungkook’s pupils went back to the girl and she was still keeping them on Taehyung. Jimin kept himself occupied with a flute glass of champagne while people watching at its finest. And at that moment, the youngest had a splendid idea that changed Taehyung’s life completely.

“Taehyungie Hyung,” Jungkook called over while he kept his eyes on her.

“What?” Taehyung muttered as he scrolled through his device.

“Th-There’s a girl staring at you.”

“I’m not in the mood to fuck someone right now. I have a really bad hangover.” The idol bluntly said.

“Tae, you know someone could stare without the idea of sleeping with them.” Jimin joined in the conversation.

“And how was the success rate of that?” Taehyung retorted, ultimately putting his phone down to look at the two. “Probably zero.”

Jimin pursed his lips, accepting the correct answer but he decided to not let it get to him. Instead, he ignored his friend’s reply and turned to Jungkook. “Who’s this chick?”

He tried his best to be undetected, but Jungkook was never good at that. The youngest pointed directly at her, which ultimately caught her attention. All three of them followed his finger, finding the young girl. Within seconds, her eyes bulged out and her lips parted before her back towards them.

“You know you’re a dumbass sometimes, right?” Jimin sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. “And don’t fucking point! It’s rude!” He slapped Jungkook’s shoulder, but it made no effect on him. “Do you also not know who she is?”

“Are we?”

“That’s literally Na Clara! She’s a socialite and the daughter of the Na family!” Jimin answered as if they were supposed to know. “Her dad is part of the reason why we’re here! So she could meet us because she’s a fan.”

“A fan she may be, but her eyes were googly eyes for Hyung over there.” Jungkook nodded over to the mundane Taehyung.

Taehyung rolled his eyes and said, “Whatever, not like it matters.”

Jimin squinted at his best friend, then scanned the room for the lady. Once he found her, her eyes were back on Taehyung. Lifting a brow, an interested smirk crept up onto his lips. “Tae, why don’t you talk to her?”

“No, thanks. Don’t want to get into trouble with daddy’s little girl and her money.” Taehyung barely looked her way, but he knew that he didn’t feel good about her.

“Come on, Hyung! It’s a perfect opportunity.” Jungkook suggested, leaning closer to Jimin who was in the middle of the trio.

“Perfect opportunity for what?” Another voice appeared, it was Yoongi’s. The rest of the members came back and sat, completing the group table.

“Na Clara is looking at Taehyung,” Jimin responded, earning a glare at his same-aged member. “She probably likes him. She’s still staring, you know.”

“Wow, Clara?” Namjoon gasped. “PD-nim said she’s a big fan of ours too!”

“She’s pretty too.” Seokjin acknowledged.

“Taehyung, why don’t you talk to her?” Hoseok too recommended.

“Why are you all so adamant on me talking to her?” Taehyung sighed, feeling somewhat pressured. “I’m not interested in her anyway…”

“Come on, you don’t know that.” Jimin countered, nudging him on his side. ”Maybe it’ll be nice, you know? A good change from your hookups.”

“Excuse me? I ha—”

“Tae,” Jimin lowered his voice. He looked around, observing the rest of the group staring back in a suggestive way. He peered back at his stubborn friend.

Taehyung sighed, trying his best not to blow up at his friend. “Chim, hook up or not. I don’t think it’s a good idea—”

“I just want you to find change. We want you to find good change.” Jimin disclosed, being honest with how the group was respectively feeling for him. “You’re spiraling and it’s not good.” With that, Taehyung stayed quiet and bit his lips nervously. Yes, he was absolutely aware of what he was doing but he never bothered to change. “You’re not doing anything bad! We just…don’t know what would happen in the long run.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Taehyung sighed and blinked. “And you think me talking to the socialite would help? Her staring’s not gonna change my life.”

“Okay, I didn’t want to do this,” Jimin muttered before leaning into Taehyung. His lips were near his ear as he whispered, “You haven’t been yourself since you and ___ stopped talking.”

Taehyung swore his heart dropped, skipped a beat, and ached at the mention of your name. It has been so long since your fight and not once did he ever apologize or call back. He didn’t know how you were doing, what has life been like for you, or even if you missed him because he did. He missed you so so so so much.

But wondering if you missed him might be pushing it after what he did, calling you needy and never wanting to talk to you. He still regretted saying that to this day. He knew those words were hurtful and sensitive towards you. Nevertheless, he thought about you almost every day. After almost four years, you graduated high school and probably went to college like you’ve always wanted to. But all he could do is assume and wonder.

He still loves you very much, and hopelessly too. Despite all these one-night stands, he never cuddled, never hugged, never looked their way, nothing but sexual pleasure really and to get his mind off the gutter temporarily. If he did do those things, he dreamt it with only you, his Blue. Recapping all the times he had you in his arms tightly while you slept soundly on his chest, it pained him every day to know you weren’t there anymore. And without you, he vowed never to do it with anyone else.

“What about her?” Taehyung questioned, suppressing the sadness of the loss of you.

“It’s been years, Tae. If you’re not talking to her, then you should move on.” Jimin explained, but Taehyung shook his head. “Maybe this isn’t about her, but still. You should do something.”

He’ll never admit it, but Jimin was right about you and what he was going through. He felt a bit stuck in his past, but it was only because of how happy he was when he was with you. Everything after you seemed boring, stagnant, and numb to his fast-paced lifestyle and career. He didn’t feel like he was growing as a person, just being a human who was being told what to do and say. Kinda like right now.

But Jimin had a point. He has been not feeling much with his life. The NDAs and constant drinking weren’t doing much for him besides a temporary fix. Change may be what he needed.

He glanced to the side and saw Clara, who was surprisingly talking to someone else. She was pretty and fairly approachable. Could this be the change he needed? Someone that wasn’t you? Of course, no one could replace you but still. He hasn’t even thought of talking to anyone else as he did with you. He doesn’t think he could do it. But with this sudden urge from his members to go for it, he seemed to be outnumbered with his choices. His members meant well, so maybe. But none of them ever knew how he truly felt when you were out of his life.

Yet he second-guessed himself. Being encouraged or rather forced by his group members, it seemed that it was inevitable for him to avoid meeting and talking to Clara. Seokjin jokingly suggested settling down with her, which Taehyung found repulsive but laughed it off fake-happily.

Once Taehyung stood up from his seat and walked towards Clara, her sparkling eyes found his nervous yet sad ones. He greeted and introduced himself to her and she did the same back. To his dismay, they had a filling and fruitful conversation for so long that they didn’t realize that the event was about to end. But he couldn’t help but compare her to you. You were different, in appearance and aura. Clara seemed confident in herself but had a people please vibe. She didn’t look all that genuine in his eyes but still seemed nice in a passive-aggressive way. 

She was nice to talk to, but that seemed it for Taehyung. Clara, however, wanted to see him again and asked for his number. Reluctantly, the idol accepted, reminding himself of what the members said. It happened all too fast that he couldn’t remember what they even talked about. But little did he know how important it was for them to be together and the relationship that would flourish for years, to the point where there were talks of marriage. 

Yet the thought of you floated in the back of his mind.

-

A loud bang on the table you sat at interrupted the peaceful break that you used up to take a quick nap. “Howdy, partner!”

Raising your head from your arms used as a cushion, eyes readjusted to the lighting and blinked until the sight was visible to you. It was a weak sight since you only saw Kenji bugging you once again. “Why are you in a bright-ass mood all the time?”

Kenji joined in and sat across. “Well, one of us has to when the bright bubbly worker is a cold stoic fiend right now.” You scowled at your coworker before getting back to sleep in your final minutes. The younger observed you, looking more tired and weak today than before. You’ve gotten better with your habits lately, so it was worrisome to see you like this. He hoped it was only an off day today and that you weren’t back on a self-destructive cycle again. “You good, ___? Never had enough sleep?”

Sighing, you knew you weren’t going back to napping. You pulled your chin up from your sleeping position and rested on the tops of your forearm to look at him. “Yeah, had a little trouble last night so it resulted in this.”

“Family doing okay?” He referred to your circumstances back home.

You sighed, yet felt surprised that was the least of your problems…well, today that is. It was only because you somehow managed to pay the medical bills on time this past Saturday. “Grandpa is…getting by.” You scrunched your nose at the thought of him. He nodded, understanding his condition but couldn’t fathom what you were going through. 

Ever since your grandmother passed away unexpectedly, he has been working harder to provide for both of you. He worked restlessly in the fields from sunrise until sunset while you picked up everything in the household. You’d help him on the weekends but worked at the shop and other menial jobs around the town for some extra earnings after school. Since you were a minor, you weren’t allowed to have a steady job so everything was under the table.

Your family wasn’t as financially stable but kept a roof and food on the table for you. Your grandparents were somewhat retired, yet kept to themselves in their farming. After the passing of your parents, their life insurance money was used to support you and your needs. Of course, the numbers decreased as you got older, and by the time you graduated high school, there was little left to support you through college in Geochang.

You even contemplated not pursuing college and continuing with family farming, but your grandfather convinced you not to as it wasn’t something you loved. He knew you and he would regret it years later, so without talking to you first, he took out loans for you to pay for the rest of your college. But he lied in the beginning and said it was money saved on the side by him and your grandmother for you for emergencies.

You believed him, so you agreed and went to college all without knowing. You even graduated and had a steady job before going back to school, and he still didn’t tell you. However, it was only when you were about to leave for Seoul, he collapsed on the ground during lunch and went unconscious.

You rushed him to the hospital where you found out that not only has he been keeping the loan payments from you but also his health was declining and been growing weaker by the second. That morning was a trigger that caused him to be bedridden in the hospital even after you left.

You were livid with emotions and couldn’t comprehend what was happening as it came all at once. So you straight up broke down and cried in the middle of the hospital room while your grandfather’s nurse, Moobin, tried his best to calm you down. You were upset about everything, even refusing to move now that you found out about the truth. But the main thing that you had to do was help and care for your grandfather regardless of how you felt about your hometown.

You took on so many roles on the farm, at home, and when you visit the hospital. You were on the brink of exhaustion, but all of that was taken away from you by your other family relatives willing to help you both out.

Even without the labor, you had to think about the loans you now had to pay off. Half of your savings wasn’t even enough to cover at least 15% of how much you owed. Don’t forget about the lovely interest! Fortunately, it was on pause when the loaners found out that you were going back to school.

But then there were your grandfather’s medical bills. You had the responsibility of paying them off and helping him as he stayed at the hospital, too weak to be self-sufficient. Though your grandfather always told you not to worry about the money, you still did, even to this day. Both of your grandparents never wanted you to worry about their grown-up problems, to the point where they were always discreet and kept things from you. But you had the habit of overhearing, wanting to take ease and weight off their shoulders for how much they’ve done for you. Again, they reminded you that you were their child and needed to be raised, not raise them, but your need to assist remained. They worked hard for you, so the least you could do the same back.

You had a few family members from another farming providence move to Geochang and were willing to help with the farm, house, and grandfather, which you were grateful for. But you’d never ask for any financial means despite all of them knowing what happened.

Money has always been tight for you, especially living in this city. That’s why you never bought things for yourself unless it’s necessary. Your clothes were either thrifted or gifted to you, school books were rented through the public library, you didn’t have a car—not even having a license, and your laptop which cost a fortune was a present from the elders of your hometown knowing that you’d need it. 

You missed home sometimes, for your grandfather of course. Buildings and skyscrapers were a bit much for you, people were somewhat cold-hearted, and it was harder to haggle here. You wished to visit soon, but with money right now, all you had to focus on was school and work.

“You know we’re here for you, right?” Kenji reminded, leaning into the surface of the table. You smiled at his endearment worrying and constant reassurance that you always liked.

Living here has gotten better though. You weren’t as alone as you were back in Geochang. After your only friend ever dropped you, you didn’t turn to others especially when you had no time to socialize since you were helping your grandfather. When you did accept them, then it only left you disappointed and even more distant. Your social meter was practically non-existent over there.

Though you were usually closed off and wary, you’ve met very nice people here and worked with a good family who truly cared for you. Despite your guilt for leaving behind your ill grandfather who begged to differ, it made your depressing boring life a little happier than previous years as well as warmed you back up.

“Yes, I know. Thank you, child.” You nodded, reaching your hand out to mess his hair up. He grimaced and cursed at you when you treated him like a little kid. “Even Halmeoni and Harabeoji too.”

“You don’t need to do everything on your own, you know. Especially when you always do things for others and yourself. Jesus, when was the last time you even did something for yourself?” He questioned.

You stayed quiet as you scrunched your nose in wonder. But when you don’t answer, Kenji complained, “The fact that you have to think says something.” He earned a glare from you. “You like to give and help, but never want anyone to do the same back.” He mentioned as he scoped the quiet restaurant. There were some tables filled, but every one of them has been served. “Just like serving, it’s nice to have a helping hand.”

“I know…” You rolled your eyes. “It’s just hard to trust people sometimes. I need to be careful.”

“How long does it take for you to trust someone?”

You kept quiet, pondering the question. It took you a while to trust Kenji after months of knowing him, you knew to trust his grandparents as soon as possible, and some college peers never got too close to you since you refused, maybe it just depended on the person.

Then your mind went to Taehyung. You always had one foot in and another out the door, in case he fucked up. You were being more strict with him. But the thing was that Taehyung had his own category for you. He was different because he wasn’t a complete stranger, he was your best friend who you used to trust after breaking it. And yet again, he broke it. Well, not really. You don’t know yet, it has been barely a day yet.

“Depending on the person, I guess.” You shrugged.

“What about Taehyung Hyung?”

“Why must you resort to him?” 

“Because you have history with him.” He smirked, pushing his fists up into his cheeks to squish them. Unfortunately for you, he acted as someone you confided in since he was always nosy yet understanding. It has gotten more and more like that when you first told him about Taehyung, but not all. “Seeing you’ve gotten closer to him after all, do you trust him now?”

You exhaled, leaning back into your chair. “Trick question.”

“It’s not a trick question.” He scoffed. “Or you just don’t want to answer it because you already know and you don’t like the answer?”

“What are you trying to be, my therapist?”

“I can.”

“Look Taehyung and I are not as close as you think. He’s different now, an-and changed, practically a stranger.” You semi-lied, trying not to make it a bigger deal than it actually was. “And we’re also fighting now. He disappointed me.”

“Not as close but fighting, wow. Didn’t know strangers do that.” Kenji replied sarcastically. You eyed him out, wishing to punch his cheeky smile off of him. “If he upsets you that much, then first, he’s not a stranger, second, he’s worthy enough for you to care for him. And third, probably enough to have your forgiveness. Maybe even trust, like do you really wanna give up on him? I feel like you’re the type to not give up easily.”

“You’re such a little shit.” You couldn’t say anything to defend yourself with his statement because deep down you knew it was true. So you resorted to bad-mouthing him, and blushing like an idiot.

“I’m a little shit who’s right.” He hummed lightly, not caring for your anger. “From the past weeks, he’s been here and with you, you’ve gotten better. Happier and healthier in your frozen exterior. You like it but you don’t wanna admit it with the past, and your damn pride.” He explained unapologetically. “New flash, my dear. It’s the past, so move on.” He said it so plainly that it insulted you. But it was the cold hard truth.

A customer called for him to which he stood up and you checked your phone, seeing that your break was over so you stood from your seat. “I know you’re scared, ___. You don’t wanna get hurt, can’t blame you but deep down you still want him there. So be a little bit more forgiving of him. Be okay with trusting him. Hell, maybe lean on his shoulder for support. You’ve seen that guy all without that fame and fortune that probably no one else knows about. Even without that, I’m sure he’s still the same Taehyung.” He grabbed a chair and was about to head to the table, but wanted to say one last thing. “Knowing you, you do things passionately and wholeheartedly. Why not do the same in your friendship with Taehyung instead of being on edge?”

You paused yourself as your heart thumped questionable. Why not do the same in your friendship with Taehyung instead of being on edge? The very question stayed in your mind for the weeks to come.

-

Laying down on his bare back on top of the disorderly dirtied sheets while his legs tousled with his naked partner resting calmly curled up by his side, Taehyung looked up at the ceiling. He didn’t know how long it has been with the blackout curtains covering any light from the outside.

Yet another day restless and upset with himself of two things—you and Clara. But right now, it was all because of her.

The earlier moments recaptured in his brain. The sudden rush of energy, electrifying touch on one’s skin, and immense release was brought upon them for hours as two lovers shared the love they had for one another. Bodies stick and tangled together to further the lasting bond.

If only that were true.

Energy was always being drained out of the life force. When she touched his skin, it felt dreadful and scorching. The connectedness into one was nowhere to be found. In fact, what was left of him in the aftermath was the uncomfortable numbness that he stilled upon himself for years. The use of his body for her own needs while he suffered the consequences of his.

With teary eyes, Taehyung glanced at Clara’s sleeping form. Even in no light, she glowed bright, bright enough to not notice his struggles, his true self. She slept so peacefully, never bothering to care if he was. He went back to the ceiling watching, as his pupils burned with hopelessness.

At the start of their relationship, it seemed so good. He gave her a chance with his heart, eventually making him fall in love and give his all to her. Spending hours together bonding, receiving blessings from family, and the gilded romance of their love was so jubilant that it was all fake.

Because underneath that so-called love was nothing but fights, accusations, gaslighting, and insecurities. It was like water and fire, and one of them would always be extinguished at the end.

Clara was expectantly nice on the outside. Her sweet and kind behavior felt like a ruse the second she stepped into the closed doors and four walls because there, she tricked his whole entity. Discouraging, insulting, playing cheese in the trap, lying, all she did to him. Yet Taehyung was the bad guy making her cry, being unfair, and spending less time with her?

Of course, she covered them all up by helping him on the outside such as begging him for therapy, helping him to reconcile with his members, and especially showing off how fabulous and perfect their relationship was to their circles. Though kept from the general public, as long as she knew she had Taehyung, that was all that mattered.

Nothing Taehyung wanted mattered to her. If it did, it was to help her image. It has gotten worse as time went on, exponentially within months. But sadly, he knew she was his endgame, and that very thought injected poison into his mind. There was nothing that can be done, nothing he could do without consequences.

Disgusted. He felt disgusted with himself. He wanted to shower and wash all the scum off his ruined body and damaged mind. The tears welled up and ran down his face and temples while snot formed up his nostrils with no one else to hear except for himself. He felt like he had no one, no one truly caring for him. No signs of help.

It wasn’t what he wanted. Because if he said what he wanted, everything that was built up to this point would be destroyed. And what he wanted was a dream, a hopeless dream that he so determinably wanted.

It was so close yet far to even reach. 

-

The serene of the nightfall sat the motionless park. The glistening of the moonlight reflected off the clearing river, glowing the scene around. The sounds of gentle winds could only be heard as Taehyung and Clara laughed together, enjoying their time and meal together. 

It has been six months since they first met, and six months since a somewhat blossoming relationship began. The two have gone on countless dates, exchanged gifts, stayed up long nights for video calls, messaging each other, and have already seen each other’s families by now.

Yet, they weren’t entirely “official.”

Of course, BTS was on its way to success as its popularity grew exponentially overseas. Obtaining new and diverse fans, selling sold-out shows, crafting rich and authentic music, and the list goes on. But that also included restrictions for the seven members. 

The life of an idol came with a price, and that included having their private life be limited from hanging out with friends and family, having eyes on you at any time of the day, pretending to not know what sex is, and everyone’s favorite—dating. 

Dating continued to be a controversial topic as it even removed members from the group, led fans into foes of their once favorite artists, and somehow technically ruined their lives. It could be an exaggeration, or not.

But that was more of a reason for idols to not date, or at least be careful about what they were doing and who they were with.

However, it wasn’t as much in Taehyung’s case.

In the eyes of the public, Na Clara was the ultimate dream girl, a down-to-earth socialite who deserved the whole world for everything she did. She was sweet, smart, charming, gorgeous, and an absolute pleaser. And Taehyung did see that in her…but always questioned what was more to it.

Everyone would think that they were becoming the new “it” couple…well in secret. With their looks, their fame, their interests, their connections, it seemed so fitting, even perfect, one might say with this idol-socialite combo to just be together.

The idol grew quite fond of Clara, hence why, he kept her around. He learned much about her—mind, body, questions, responses, even remembering and picking up certain habits that the socialite had like asking what things were in a pout or making a disgruntled face of disinterest when seeing problematic people.

His members and friends saw how Clara made life so easy for Taehyung. She wanted it easy for him. She wanted to take the heavy weight of life off his shoulders. She took him out of that down-spiraling playboy NDA life, told him to do this instead of that if it’s not good for him, and comforted him when times got rough and times were indeed rough…still rough.

It was best to say that Clara was the best thing that ever happened to him.

But why wasn’t their relationship being taken to the next level?

“Oh, Tae! It’s so beautiful here.” Clara gazed into the atmosphere like from a scene from a 2000s indie film. “Thank you for bringing me, and the little picnic dinner. So adorable!”

Taehyung’s vacant expression at the park view was ripped away as he glanced down to the blanket where their dinner rested —take-out pasta and fried chicken with two empty wine glasses that were stained red. The idol hummed and nodded, “I’m glad you enjoyed this.” He was careful with his words.

The socialite turned to face him. His eyes weren’t meeting hers as they stared back into the scenery. There was a physical distance between the two, the picnic basket in the middle of them. Although they had slept with each other countless times and it was obvious what their relationship was by now, Taehyung never showed as much affection to her as hoped.

Clara found out through others that Taehyung was a cuddly person, who loved to touch those he loved and cared about, but she never experienced it herself. They kissed and hugged, but it was almost mechanical. Maybe it was just because they weren’t official, and he didn’t want to scare her off. She didn’t know, she even tried talking to him, but Taehyung continued to be an enigma.

“Come closer, Tae.” She motioned him to be near, which was usually typical as the socialite would be the one to initiate things.

Though he cocked an eyebrow at her, he obliged. Pushing the basket away from their space, Taehyung scooted closer to her until their thighs touched. Clara then rested her head on his shoulder before he hesitantly wrapped an arm around her dainty waist. He pressed his cheek on the tops of her head, slowly getting into a comfortable position.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

There was a slight pause, but it went unnoticed by her. “Yeah, it’s been better.”

“I’m glad for you…” She smiled before furrowing her eyebrows as she did her best to gather her words and confidence. “Tae, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Oh no, am I in trouble again?”

The socialite giggled at his assumption, shaking her head. He felt her stare “No, babe. I’ve been thinking…about what we are.”

Taehyung grew confused as he looked down at her supple face. “What do you mean?”

“I really really like how things are with us. I enjoy being with you and learning more every day about what’s going on in your head. Just the thought of you makes me get butterflies.” Clara explained the best way she can. “It makes me want to fall harder and harder for you that I want more.”

“M-more, why?” Okay, he knew he sounded stupid and probably shouldn’t have responded that way but it couldn’t be helped. He was taken aback and wasn’t expecting such a serious conversation to a causal date. It wasn’t even as fancy as past dates and dinners.

Clara pouted at his response but tried her best to remain lax. “Well, what do you think about me? Us? Is this us just being like…this enough for you?”

“You know my life is difficu—”

“Yes, I completely understand!” She interrupted before sighing. “I’m also in a similar boat too.”

You will never understand, Taehyung thought but didn’t speak out loud. He always thought a lot of thoughts but never said them.

But the longer Taehyung said nothing, the more anxious Clara was becoming. Maybe she just needed to get the point across, also known as her feelings. As a measure, the socialite then took Taehyung’s unoccupied hand and intertwined it with hers. Her brown almond eyes gleamed at his under the silvery moonlight as she said her four words, “I love you, Taehyung.” So soft and delicate yet enough for the idol to gasp slightly. “I’m in love with you, I’ve been loving you for a while.”

Clara’s heart skipped a beat.

But Taehyung’s didn’t. It was more panicking about how she was acting so forward with this and why she wanted more. He was fine with what they were doing now, and now alone.

“Look, you don’t need to say anything. I know you’re not ready to say it yet and that’s fine, but don’t you want to take our relationship to the next level? Being official. I’m willing to do all it takes to be with you. Please, Tae?” Clara wondered as she tried to find his eyes. They wandered elsewhere, not wanting to face her. The socialite felt herself sinking at his reactions. “Unless…”

That was when Taehyung finally reached her. Her glowing irises layered with a slight gloss while she bit her painted lips. Was she about to cry? Taehyung started to feel guilty. “Unless what?”

Clara composed herself before asking, “Unless there was someone else.”

Unless there was someone else. The words now consumed his brain. There was no one else near him after meeting Nara. The members saw no one too. His playboy days were practically non-existent. There was no one to go to, no one to comfort him, no one to make his day, no one to make him smile, no one to make him happy.

Except.

Then suddenly something—someone appeared before him. Someone who had longed for.

Whatever how Clara looked, her features formed into another. Rosy plump cheeks filled with joy and life, cheekbones shaped into glory, hair shorter but braided down to the chest, perfect cute rounded nose, and those familiar doe eyes.

The ones that would suck him into a trance every single moment and be immersed in the ever-glowing beauty of the kind and altruistic aura he knew. The aura that made him feel like a magnet and gravitate towards. The gravitation that made him realize that no other love would ever compare to this love he had.

The love he had for you.

Taehyung loves you so deeply that it continued to this day. The undying love he never confessed to you, not even when he was with you, not even when he was about to leave, not even through your night calls. Even after the falling, he continued to wish to see you again and tell you his confession that was hidden and buried deep in his heart that he told no one else, not even his members or family. Why? Because it was a confession for you and only you.

He saw you in front of him, smiling your patient smile and laughing with tears in your eyes. He now noticed the flush of your face, the puffiness around your eyes, and the inaudible sniffling you were doing. He realized it was a memory of you, the day he found out that he wanted to love you more than you or he could possibly imagine. The love his father once told him and be forever ingrained into it.

“Hyungie…” Your loving tone was voiced out as the vision of you looked back at him. Even when appearing sad and heartbroken by a dumbass individual, you looked like an angel. You were so beautiful. “I will always love you.”

Immediately, he spoke, “I will always love you too.”

“You do?” Another voice shattered through his consciousness, causing him to snap back into reality.

It wasn’t you. It definitely wasn’t you. You were gone, and you were never coming back even if both parties tried. There was no ___ and Taehyung. No Blue and Hyungie. All trash, absolutely nothing. No future together, whether near or far. The relationship you once had with him has been crumpled up and cast away, burning into the pits of broken memories that hurt him by the slight thought.

You weren’t here anymore. He couldn’t save it. He loves someone who wasn’t here with him anymore. The falling tears he didn’t realize he shed ran down his face. Oh, how he missed you so much. He wanted to do anything and everything in the whole world to get you back and into his arms again.

“Taehyung,” Clara called for him again, but he was unresponsive. He was too busy crying out the overwhelming love he had for you. He chanted faint “I love you” with his eyes closed, thinking of you. 

It was only when Clara cupped his face with her pale hands and moved his head to meet her eyes. Taehyung’s eyes opened up, expecting you but he knew it was too good to be true. It was her, the only person he had.

But not the one he wanted.

“What happened? You started crying.” Her tone was so much different from yours. Yes, sweet, but sickly sweet.

“I-I-I think…I just—got overwhelmed with emotions.” He didn’t want to say what was on his mind. It was an asshole thought for her anyway. Better to keep it hidden.

The socialite nodded, simply taking that because she was more concerned and very much intrigued with what he said back. “You said…” His bloodshot eyes tiredly stared back blankly. “You said you will always love me. Is…that true?”

He blinked. Her hopeful demeanor was seen kilometers away, evident that she needed the reassurance. But Taehyung held back as the voice in his head debated on what to say.

He cried for you. Yet you were gone, and you took his heart with you. He didn’t know what you were doing, probably college, having a fun normal life, getting a boyfri—no. You were doing your own thing for years without trace or contact. The second he fucked up, everything about you was gone in his life. Little by little until his life practically forced you out. But the memories remained.

But was this it for him? To go on with life without you or his heart? To have all of you before but have none of you now? He didn’t know how to go on with life without you. What was he going to do?

Look at him right now.

But Clara was here, she’ll only be here from now on, and that pained Taehyung. No one would ever replace you. He refused to replace you, you were his one and only Blue.

Still, you were out of his life and left him empty but with a purpose. He was an idiot and he should be punished for what he did. 

All he needed to do was survive without you. He had to at least try. He needed to do this. He needed to fall in love with Clara. Do it for him and his state.

“Yeah…I love you…with all my heart.” He was supposed to say this to you, not her.

Clara’s hope glowed bright like the heavens as she threw herself on him, making him stumble back and fall onto the blanket. She straddled his hips, embracing him with all her might. Taehyung didn’t know what to do and laid there before hugging her back to avoid awkwardness.

She lifted her head that rested on his shoulder before giving him a deep kiss which he did back willingly. What felt like passion and an exchange of love from Clara was only messy, wet, and forced to Taehyung. She parted from him with a string of cold saliva stretched, their foreheads resting on one another.

She focused all her attention on the man she loves. The burning devotion flamed her whole body, wanting all of him, wanting all the love he had for her. At last, Na Clara, the socialite, the visual of South Korea, was with the rising idol, Kim Taehyung, V of BTS.

“I love you.” She cooed, pecking his nose.

Yet Taehyung’s eyes grew blurry as he lets go of more tears and pain within him. Through the fuzzy vision, he only thought of you. There wasn’t anyone in the world for him, but you. But he had to remind himself that you weren’t here.

This had to do. This had to work.

“I love you too.” I love you, ___, my Blue. He cried out. Clara giggled, thinking how incredibly sensitive he was being for her. She whispered reassurances and comforted him, saying that it’ll be okay and not to cry. She was here for him, always by his side, wanting to turn his dark days into sunshine and rainbows. It was all perfect. The couple, the love, the bond, all perfect, perfect, perfect.

Yet perfect never meant that this would work.

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee @stfxthv @dahliasbouqet @bertqut1 @fuckthinking @taebangtanbabe

Good for Me | KTH

Pairing: Bad Boy Taehyung x Wholesome Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut, PWP (porn with plot LMAO),

Summary: You went home for the weekend, leaving a pissed-off and bruised-up Taehyung dry and devastated. So what does he do?—follow you home. Insane? Probs, but you’re always good for him so why not?

Warning: OC’s parents are those strict nosy parents who still tell you what to do even if you’re 50 years+, mentions of Christianity hfrowhouw SUE ME, i have no idea what oc and tae are but you know there’s something, mentions of violence, blood, fighting, sneaky sneaky, dom tae x subby reader but tae is needy and whipped for her, he’s just a little shit, tae has a favorite curse word—it’s fuck, TAEHYUNG IS HUGE AND HUNG, aggressive handling (but oc consented), degradation/praise combo, pet names (because I’m a simp), oral (m. and f. receiving), fingering, spanking, tae enjoys seeing oc cry, licking, i think i have an obsession with orgasm control/denial, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, unprotected sex (don’t be like them), cream pie, cum play, the ending though MWAHAHAHAH

Word Count: 7.8k

A/N: I’m adding on for the taewhores and also wrote one lol BLAME THE FUCKING ELLE COVERS BECAUSE THIS SHOT OUT OF MY BLEEDING VAGINA DJDBDBSB I’M REPENTING AFTER THIS also cross-posted on AO3. Posting this at 2AM because that's when the feral wolf comes out :D

“You know ___, you shouldn’t be going out and partying. What if you do drugs and we don’t know? You know you should focus on yo—”

“Dad, for the last time, I’ve been focusing on my studies.” You rolled your eyes, not wanting a whole ‘nother lecture when you’re here, and you got here today! “I rarely go out too, plus if I do, I know I have to finish my work! You’ve seen my grades!”

“Yes, I know but still. Those worldly activities won’t get you anywhere in life but trouble.” Your dad expressed his continuous concern for you. He can’t help that you were his youngest. “Especially with boys! I mean your sisters have boyfriends but we don’t want that for y—”

“Dad, please. Nothing’s going on with me.” You semi-lied. You pinched the bridge of your nose before you stared exhaustingly at him. “It’s also not fair, but I don’t want to get into that.” You muttered under your breath as your father rested his hands on his hips.

“I’m just worried about you, sweet pea, especially since you’re farther away from us than your sisters were.” He reasoned worryingly. “We rarely hear from you too.”

“Because I’m just tired and I’m usually studying.” You shrugged. “I’m safe, okay? If I’m not, I know to call you or mom.”

“Fine…” He still didn’t look convinced, but it was enough to end it…for today only. “I always pray for your safety regardless. You should get some sleep since we’re waking up early tomorrow for the church fellowship.”

“I still don’t know why you wanted me to come for the weekend.” It was random and unexpected. But your father called you a couple of days back telling you to come back home for the weekend, so as a good and obedient daughter, you did.

“Of course, you needed to come.” He said like it was obvious. “As the pastor of the church and the one who’s hosting it, I’d like all my children to come.”

“But why aren’t the other two here?” You questioned. You haven’t seen your two older sisters yet.

“I mean they live around the area, unlike you since you’re hours away. We figured that they’ll meet us over there.” He responded. 

Great, you were the only one and had to deal with both of your parents for the entire weekend alone. At least your mom was already sleeping, but once she wakes up, it’ll only be twice as worse.

“Alright, well, I’m going to bed. See you in the morning.” You announced before hugging him. “Good night, love you.”

“Love you too, sweet pea, and remember, dear, the Lord is watching.” Your father pointed upwards, indicating the invisible yet existent one. You gulped before nodding obediently and going under your sheets. Before he left your room, he held the doorknob and said, “No boys, and don’t forget to pray!”

“Okay.” You didn’t even bother to look at him as you were situating yourself comfortably in bed. The bedroom lights were clicked off, yet the only light source was your bedside lamp. You heard your door closed shut and the sounds of his heavy footsteps disappeared away from your room before letting out a relieving sigh.

You don’t even know how long you could keep like this. There were many reasons why you wanted to be away for college, and this was one of them. You cheered yourself on right now, knowing that it’s just this weekend and you’ll be back in your freedom in no time.

This was where prayer came in handy, asking for the amount of strength and patience you’ll need with your parents. But it was all interrupted by the blue light and vibrations coming from your phone resting on your nightstand. This sigh you let out was more exasperated than before. You turned your head in that direction. You couldn’t really what was on it at this angle, but you definitely knew who it was.

You snatched your phone to find the 43 messages, 12 missed calls, and 2 voicemails from the one and only Kim Taehyung.

You honestly don’t know how you got into this mess, or how you weren’t able to get him away (probably because you still wanted him to be within reach). But the cycle continued.

It was probably because you were new to that town, having no background about your new hometown, and usually, those who lived there continued to stay there. You were fresh meat. But don’t get it wrong, people were nice and brought you in like you were always part of the community. You found new friends, even living with a girl who treated you so sweetly and caringly. It almost felt like they wanted to protect you from something…or rather someone.

That happened to be Taehyung.

You see here, folks. Kim Taehyung had a…infamous reputation. His name always got a reaction since the day he came into the world. What that meant was people were afraid of him. He grew up as a delinquent, had some family issues, got into loads of trouble, got suspended from school, was shipped to boarding school but got expelled and came back, and even got into countless fights. You recalled someone mentioning he once beaten his teacher up because he got a low grade that he shouldn’t have deserved.

He tended to get what he wanted. It didn’t help the fact that he came from a pretty well-off family, so whatever he did, it didn’t reach the police. Right? Fucking rich people.

Nevertheless, Taehyung’s behavior with or without his familial status was rogue. There have been rumors about him getting into gangs, drugs, you know the typical dark side of society. You couldn’t confirm nor deny it because despite his willingness to tell you, you never wanted to hear anything about it. Ignorance was bliss under this circumstance.

With that being said, when you first came here, you were instantly warned to stay away from him or else…You reasoned with, “or else what?” But then they proceeded to say the same things to you—he was dangerous, he harms others, he doesn’t care about anyone else but himself, if you’re in his way, he’ll wipe your entire existence away, and your life would get fucked up.

You did in fact listen and stayed away. You rarely knew of him or even saw him around, but it was better safe than sorry. Of course, fate begged to differ. 

Oh, that’s right. That’s how you got into this mess. You were partners with him in a general requirement course, and then after briefly talking to him, you realized he wasn’t all that bad.

First off, the dude was immaculate looking, like, who wouldn’t want to stare at his chiseled features? Yeah, he stared intensely almost like he wanted to kill you, but it affected you in other ways. His voice was cavernous and velvet like you wanted him to read the Bible to you.

He looked annoyed, yet he was a chill dude. There you thought—give him a chance and a break.

Oh boy, you thought wrong. So so wrong.

But did you love it? Absolutely.

This was why you needed to repent.

You didn’t even bother reading his texts. You decided to call him and annoyingly sat up from your comfortable position. The call didn’t even ring twice because, after the first one, he answered immediately.

“Petal, where the fuck are you?” He shouted through the phone. You squinted to yourself but weren’t as affected by his tone since you were used to it by now.

“I went home for the weekend.” You simply replied.

“And didn’t fucking bother to tell me?”

“It was a last-minute thing, and it slipped my mind.” You shrugged, then you pulled your blankets off of you to get up and habitually pace around the room while you talked. “Plus, you don’t have any authority to know where I am.”

“I absolutely do have the authority whether you like it or not.”

“Ew, red flag, why?” 

“I need to know if you’re safe.” His voice subsided this time, knowing he was probably pouting yet you couldn’t see it. Okay, this was rather valid since you were associated with the bad boy of the town.

“Well, I am safe. I’m away from school and all of that.” You blushed, feeling the butterflies in your stomach. “I’m with my parents too. My holy parents, might I add.” 

“Right, holy parents and your holy sisters who got married to other holy men.” You could hear the sarcasm leaving his mouth. “Yet there’s nothing holy about their slutty little girl and the man that’s been fucking her to hell.”

“Shhhhh, don’t say stuff like that, Taehyung!” You whisperingly yelled as you stopped your pacing to clench your legs together. You always hated how much of a potty mouth he was. Though you internally loved it. “You know I don’t like that.”

“Come on, Petal. I’m just lightening up my mood, especially since you left me.”

“I won’t be gone for that long. It’s only the weekend, and I’ll be back in no time.” You resumed your pace before standing in front of your window with your back facing it. 

“That’s too long for me to not have you.”

“I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do!”

“You can come back, Petal.”

“No, I can’t!” You shook your head. “My parents will get mad if I leave, for a boy too.”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to let you take.”

“Taetae, no!” You were trying to stand your ground. You already had four lectures with your parents, you can’t argue with him right now. “I need to sleep, it’s getting late too!”

Though his heart fluttered at the use of the nickname, he was getting pissed off that you weren’t being a good girl for him. “Babydoll, be careful with your words. I’m warning you.” His voice went an octave down, shocking your body especially your cunt. Even hundreds of kilometers away, he had such a powerful effect on you.

“I am being careful! With everything. Now please, I have to get up early tomorrow. Good night, okay Taetae? I’m sorry.” You rushed your words in fear that you were getting too loud that your parents might hear.

“This isn’t ov—” You didn’t let him finish because you decided that this conversation was over. You didn’t want to get into trouble on both ends, but your parents scared you more than him. They’ll probably want to purify you if they found out you were stained by the lustful demon-like Taehyung.

Despite ending the call, here came Taehyung calling you over and over again. You could not be bothered with it, so you settled it back onto your nightstand. You were exhausted, frustrated, and horny, but sleep was above all right now. You had to bite your tongue and go to bed.

You were about to get back into your sheets when suddenly your window from the second level of the house opened, and a gust of wind pushed its way inside. Your head snapped back at the speed of light, then a large palm covered your entire mouth before you could scream your heart out.

Though in low light, your wild widened eyes saw his face.  But what sparked you was his concerning appearance. While disheveled ebony hair was pushed back with little strands falling off his forehead, yet there was a deep cut with dried-up blood around its corners. Hues of purple and yellow covered his rich eyes that gleamed in the night whilst glaring deeply into your soul. The perfect bridge of his curved nose had another pained gash. His ever-so-plumped lips were peeled and split open and the corner of his mouth held bruising. Despite all, he looked so perfect in your dazed eyes.

“Good night, okay Taetae?” At a lower volume, he mimicked your voice at a higher pitch than how you actually sounded. He dropped his hand off of you and started waving both hands around. “Oh, look, I’m ___. I need my rest to go to church with my pastor dad and repent all the nasty shit I do with my Taetae.”

You didn’t even bother to point out how he was inaccurately impersonating you because you were shushing him to shut up. “Taehyung, be quiet. My parents could hear you.” You shook your head, eyes shifting from the closed door to him. Then you realized it wasn’t locked, so you rushed there to lock it immediately. You checked the knob and once it didn’t budge, you peered back at the frustrated man standing tall and intimidating. “How did you even find me?”

“I always find you.” He snorted as his eyes roamed around your childhood bedroom. Very pink with an unhealthy amount of plushies scattered around and you had so many pictures of your family. Not to mention the Bible at your desk. “We also share each other’s location.”

“I don’t even look at yours.”

“That’s your fault.” He retorted back.

“Taetae, you’re all bruised up!” You gasped as you finally saw patches of blood stains on his denim and army fabric jacket. A sleeve was torn and ripped. His knuckles held more bruising cuts and discoloration. You couldn’t even process that he had no shirt underneath because battered markings painted his torso. It wasn’t unusual to see him like this because these things occurred regularly but never made you less at ease. You reached for his hands and inspected for any other cuts and bleeding. “Noo, do you feel like you have a concussion? Is your head also okay? Will you need stitches agai—“

Out of nowhere, his long fingers grasped under your jaw, pulling you closer to his face. His grip tightened, causing you to wince in pain. Dang, he was so furious. Not bothering to answer you, he interrupted your worries. “Now the fuck you were doing, talking back at me and hanging up? You’re not being a good girl right now.”

Though you were in a light panic for him, you didn’t like when he scolded you like that. You frowned profoundly, “I-I’m a good girl, Taetae.” Your cheeks were puffed and squishy, he even struggled to put a hard exterior.

You were always so soft even before him. You didn’t like getting scolded despite hearing numerous lectures from your parents. You always wanted to be obedient to those you loved. 

However, Taehyung’s scoldings hit a little differently.

“Oh yeah, does a good girl leave their man without permission?” Taehyung patronized you, he knew how to get you to fear him. You merely shook your head and apologized, but he wasn’t having it. “Words, Petal. Speak up.”

“No, they don’t. I-I’m sorry, Taehyung.”

He lets out a dark chuckle before he pressed his injured lips to your forehead. They felt soft and warm on your skin. “I don’t think you’re sorry, babydoll. Seems like the bad girl needs to be punished.”

You shook your head, lips pushing out into a pout. “No, please.” You breathed. “My paren—”

Taehyung tutted and rolled his eyes before using the hand that held your face to coerce your head down so you can drop down to your knees. “Kneel before me, slut.”

You whimpered weakly as your knees landed on the ground with a loud thud. Your palmed rested in front of his dirtied boots. Your heart palpitated fast in fear of getting caught, but your mind was preoccupied with the unexpected slap from the man before you.

You bit your lips deeply, trying not to make any more sounds. The tears in your eyes threatened to be released but you also held back by squeezing your eyes shut. More so to not give Taehyung satisfaction. But when you peeled them back open and looked up, it was over for you.

He leered down at you, his stone demeanor expanded by the second. You noticed his naked chest raising harshly from the breaths he took. You immediately felt smaller and smaller the longer you stared at each other in this position.

“Be a good girl and take my cock out”. He commanded as he threaded his fingers through your hair and yanked you closer. “Now.”

You didn’t hesitate any longer. Your trembling hands tugged his belt off. You tried your best to quicken up the pace, but it seemed to hold you back as you struggled with the button pants and zipper. Taehyung noticed too so he fastened his grip on you to tell you to hurry up, making you weep.

“S-sorry.” You apologized quietly but it wasn’t enough for him. Once you pulled his pants down, you were met with a familiar bulge in his underwear. When you freed him, his monstrous dick slapped his toned stomach and bounced before you.

Taehyung never failed to amaze you with how colossal he was. The first time you saw it you wanted to run away, but he caught you and you got hooked. His darkened mushroom head was huge while the base was thick and his curved length was long and veiny. It was the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen and seemed that God blessed him very well. 

Nothing happened between the two of you yet but the slit of his tip pearled fluids. You gawked agape with your mouth parted and tongue swiping your lips. His dick twitched, waiting for you to do something but you were too mesmerized.

Impatiently, using his unoccupied hand, he seized your jaw again, keeping your mouth open. “You’re fucking taking too long.” It didn’t take him long to bring your lips to his cock and push all of him in one motion.

You let out a muffled cry with watery eyes. If the tears fell before, they sure did now.  Your throat muscles throbbed around him from the unexpected slamming.  You gagged painfully, especially since his blunt head hit the back of your throat. Your mouth produced trickling drool all over him and down your chin. You were by no means prepared, but Taehyung didn’t seem bothered as he began his harsh pace.

You held onto his muscular thighs. You were crying so much but your sobs were smothered by the cruel thrusts of his rabid cock. Despite the sting, the actions sent a flood to your thin underwear. The familiar warmth covered your stomach, clenching your thighs together for some pressure on your poor leaking cunt.

“Fuck, Petal. Shit.” He cursed lowly. His cavernous moans echoed through the air. “Look at me.” His order sounded like a threat. He stopped his movements; his cock halfway in your mouth. When you opened your heavy lids, he looked so hot and bothered even in your blurry vision. “My pretty girl.” His thumb wiped off the trail of tears. 

You were always pretty in his eyes, smiling, and laughing, even when you get angry at his annoying ass. But he especially thought you were pretty when he made you cry like this. 

Then he went back to bobbing your head brutally on him. Your nails scratched his thighs, leaving indents on them. You retched again, spit drenching all over him. “Fucking amazing for a slut like you. Is this what you wanted, since you’re a fucking bad girl?”

You wanted to say no, but you couldn’t so you shook your head and whimpered. You weren’t a bad girl. You were good!

You were getting lightheaded, feeling so stuffed to even breathe. Taehyung observed your face getting a little pale. You always forgot to learn how to breathe when giving him a blow job.

He pressed into you once more and a bit longer than usual, so he can imprint the feeling of your mouth again into his spank bank. He ultimately pulled out, leaving a long string of drool from his tip to your crimson lips. His dick covered in your sweet saliva. 

You heaved profoundly and wept here and there. You wanted to tell him off, but you were too scared to say anything. You pushed the tears away with the back of your hand and gulped your words but it pained you to do that.

“God, you’re messy,” He laughed cynically at you. “Aww, you’re upset, babydoll?” He asked condescendingly.

“N-no,” You sniffed, trying your best to be strong. “I’m not.”

“Good, you better not.” He said, letting go of your hair. “Stand up.”

This time you were swift on your feet. Though with painful reddened knees, you stood up wobbly and held Taehyung’s biceps for some support. He hooked an arm around your waist, pulling you to be chest to chest with him. 

Being like this, you saw how he towered over you. The height difference wasn’t compared to a gremlin and the Incredible Hulk but he was still way taller than you. He absorbed your appearance, finally taking in how you wore a cute brown bear pajama shirt and matching shorts. The fresh aroma of roses from your body wash and your natural scent swirling into his nostrils sent his pheromones into a frenzy. He wanted you so badly.

“Are you gonna be a good girl and let me fuck you while your parents are sleeping?” His hot breath splashed your face, fluttering you into submission. You unconsciously nodded excitingly but it caused him to tut at you. “I’m not gonna tell you again. Exact words, babydoll.”

“Yes!” You shouted too quickly that only after you caught yourself, covering your mouth with your palms. He smirked at your reaction—so needy for him. Just the way he loved it. Your hands slowly traveled to his shoulders as you batted your beautiful irises at him. You didn’t like swearing, but it came often when you were with him alone. “Uhh, p-please f-fuck me. I’m your good girl, Taetae.”

The perfect answer.

He bent down to peck the tip of your nose then went further down to lick the trunk of your neck. He picked a spot before suckling around to mark his territory. You mewled at the sensation, slithering your arms around his nape. He began moving towards your bed while you stepped back, following his lead until you fell back onto the sheets of your mattress. Your back rested while your legs hung at the edge of the bed.

Your unapologetic eyes wandered his frame.

He kicked his pants and boots off his ankles, leaving him in only his jacket. But even that, he took off. The faded and lighter scars sprawled his torso, showing evidence of fights and brawls through the years. The fresher wounds battered his rough skin and once you saw gauges wrapped around his right hip with blood patches seeping through, you sat up straight with pupils dilated.

“Taehyung, your—”

“I didn’t tell you to speak,” He growled, and stalked to the bed before pushing your shoulder roughly to lay back down. Your body bounced, trying to process what was happening but he tugged your shorts and panties down and off your skin.

He kneeled in front of you, callous palms spreading your thighs apart to reveal your leaking puffy pussy. He didn’t even touch you and you were this soaked. He inhaled deeply, taking in your sweet essence.

Jesus Christ, you were always embarrassed when he did that. It was like his human nature devolved into animalistic instincts. His mouth had a mind of its own, nibbling your inner thighs and placing even more marks on you like he wanted to claim you. You gasped quietly, jerking a little. So sensitive as always. His thumbs stretched your nether lips apart, revealing more of you to him. The petals of your sex opened for him. Your little hole throbbing around nothing but secreted so much wetness, even spotted your tiny clit inflamed, begging to be touched.

But to your luck, Taehyung wasn’t the type to get on with it right away…well he can, but most of the time, he chose not to. No, sir, he took his time with you, to the point you had to drop your pride and beg. His fingers lightly caressed your sex, enough for you to feel it but do no pleasure.

“Tae,” You whined, hands reaching for him but he swatted them away.

“Don’t touch me, put them on your sides.” He seethed through his teeth.

“But—”

Smack! The slap stung your cunt, making you welp loudly. He does another and your head turned to the side. You cried, pressing your face into your blankets. Taehyung continued hitting your pussy until it was red and sensitive.

“Naughty girl!” He slapped your lips once more, jolting your feeble body. “What’s wrong with you tonight? You think just because you’re with your family that you forgot all the rules we had, hm??”

“N-n-no.” You sobbed, shaking your head cowardly. “I promise I reme—”

A knock came on your bedroom door.

Both of your heads shot toward the direction with wide eyes. Another knock happened again before the person on the other end said, “___?” Another knock. “Sweet pea, I heard noises. Are you good?” Then the fucking knob jiggled, but fortunately, you locked it. “Why’d you lock the door? What are you doing?”

Shoot, it was your dad. Your pastor dad. Now your heart was heavy and dropped down to your uneasy stomach. You needed to say something quickly, but no words came out. You shifted to see Taehyung who shrugged and smirked devilishly, leaving you to fend for yourself. 

It was only until your dad said, “Do I need to use the spare keys to open the door?” That you spoke up.

“No! I’m good, I just…I accidentally dropped my phone on my face.” You lied, praying he’d buy it. 

“You and your dang phone.” He complained through the door. Taehyung’s mouth went wide with silent laughter hearing you get scolded. You pursed your lips, shaking your head. He was no help at all because there was a gleam of mischief and it wasn’t a good sign at all. “You need to get off of that thing, sweet pea. You won’t have enough sleep. Remember you’re joining the praise team in the morning.”

“Yes, dad! I know. I’m sorry to—unghhh.” Your sentence was interrupted by the sudden breach from Taehyung’s two long fingers sliding in so smoothly into your cunt. 

“___? ___, are you okay?” Your dad questioned as he continuously knocked on your door.

It didn’t take long for Taehyung to find your g-spot, curling his fingers to muscle memory. His digits pumped into you, and at times, he thumbed your clit. He had your eyes rolling back and biting your lips to stop your struggling whimpers. “I-I’m f-fine right now. D-d-ahh worry!”

“Are you sure you’re fine? You sound like you’re in pain.”

Taehyung dived into your pussy, taking a long lick before wrapping his lips around your sensitive nub. The tips of his fingers did their magic hitting your insides, playing with the squish of immense ecstasy.

You shrieked involuntarily, fisting the blankets under you as you threw your head back. “Yes, I’m fine!” You groaned distressingly. “I-I’m so…touched by my prayer before sleeping.” You swore faintly when Taehyung suckled and flattened his tongue on your clit.

“Prayer to the Lord is always so emotional, sweet pea.” Your father pointed out, but you really didn’t give a shit. “Alright, don’t want to disturb your time. Hope you get some sleep soon though. Good night.”

His footsteps faded away and you mentally cheered that you didn’t get caught, but you had sudden guilt that you basically spoke to your father with a guy eating you out.

Taehyung released his mouth off you to see how you appeared, crumbling at his touch. Your face wrinkled together with your mouth parted, and you saying his name with your pretty voice had his aching cock twitching. He reached over to the hem of your shirt and pulled it up, revealing your soft bare breasts and hardened nipples. “Such a pretty girl. Touched by the prayer? No, no, I’m the one you should be praying to.”

“D-don’t say that.” You moaned he knew you were very much in tune with your spirituality but he also liked to mess around with you.

“Why, Petal? You don’t like what I say, hmm?” He pouted mockingly, pushing his fingers deeper into you. You gasped, digging your head into the mattress. “I’ll give you everything that you want.” These blankets did no justice, you needed to hold onto him. You put your hand out, silently asking to hold him. Taehyung was mean but he wasn’t that mean…at least not today, so he accepted your request and intertwined his vacant hand with yours.

He felt your cunt getting tighter, understanding what was about to happen. Well, remember how Taehyung wasn’t that mean? That statement was taken back because he said, “Don’t come until I say so.”

You whined, giving your best doe-eyes and pinkest pout. “Please, Taetae. Wanna cum.”

Without removing any touch of you, he stood from his feet before covering your entire body with his large one. His face leaned down until your noses touched. “No.” He simply replied, yet his pace wasn’t slowing down. “Hold it.”

Your eyes twitched, wrestling to keep your orgasm under control. He always loved to play with you like this. You attempted to stabilize your breathing, deep and slow breaths. In…and out. In…and out. Yeah, this wasn’t working when Taehyung’s four-inch fingers were jamming into you. The pressure in your stomach tightened, clenching your abdominals to get your reach. It wasn’t a good girl thing to do, but he was mean!

“Can’t! Please!” You begged once more, knowing it couldn’t be stopped.

“No, be a good girl.”

Sorry, Taehyung but it was too late. Your eyes were already going to the back of your head, and you were prepared for the high of it all. But once you started arching your back, he pulled his fingers and hand away from you. You still had your orgasm but it felt so weak going through it without him helping you come down. Your pussy burned unpleasantly.

He glared at you, watching your lousy orgasm go to waste. All because you didn’t listen to him. But whose fault was that? Taehyung will never take the blame.

Pathetically unsatisfied, you came down and exhaled. It physically and emotionally pained you how shitty that orgasm was. And with a pissed-off Taehyung looming over you, it’ll be torture.

“Bad, bad girl.” Taehyung was disappointed at you, something you grimaced over. “I told you not to but you didn’t it anyway.”

“I couldn’t stop it…” You whispered.

“Couldn’t stop yourself? You really are a fucking slutty bad girl.” Getting slightly self-conscious from his jeering eyes, you closed your legs and covered your chest. Your face flushed with post-orgasm and shame.

Taehyung saw your actions, softening his tough demeanor. He lifted you to the middle of the bed before climbing over your concealed body. At this angle, the moonlight struck his body. Every muscle and indent defined, every wound and bruise visible, every part of him shined so beautifully and perfectly. 

His knees spread your legs open to go in between while carefully pulling your arms off your chest. His face goes down to yours, planting little kisses all over your face in hopes he doesn’t make you feel too bad. “Tell me if I go too far, Petal. Don’t hide from me.”

You shook your head, “You’re not. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’ll be good, I promise.”

You were soooo good to him. He smiled tenderly, pecking another on the tip of your nose before the demon smirk came back. “Then you’re still gonna get it. Get on your knees.”

You nodded and were about to twist your body when Taehyung grasped your waist and flipped you over. He pushed down your back, arching your ass up before landing a loud slap to it. You cried into the pillow, hugging it as if it was like your protection. He slapped the other cheek, receiving another reaction from you.

“Since you’re weak at controlling yourself,” He grabbed his thick length. His head played with you, gliding across the slit and collecting your saturation until he aligned it with your hole. He puts a little bit of pressure, enough to make you moan for more but then stopped. “Maybe I should punish you by giving more than what you can handle.”

That was…even worse. But you had to accept it, so you could be the good girl for him. 

Knowing he could maim you, he steadily filled you up. You felt every inch of him getting deeper and deeper inside, the stretch of your pussy left a dull ache. He held your hips as he guided himself in. Once he bottomed out, the both of you let out a sigh of relief. Every time you do this, it always felt like the first time because of how big he was.

“So fucking tight, Petal.” He hissed. The sensation of you pulsating had his head thrown back.

After a while, the two of you knew it was time for him to move. Taehyung pulled himself back, leaving his head and then piercing back in. You jolted forward, but he kept you firmly to continue his aggressive yet even pace. Each penetration to your spot left you wailing into the pillow, gripping its covers. The slapping of your skin resonated in your childhood bedroom, the only sound that could be heard other than Taehyung’s heavy breathing and your keens.

“This is what you wanted, right?” Taehyung asked lowly before speeding up his movements, making you louder in the cushion. When he didn’t get the answer that he wanted, he looped your hair around his hand and hauled your upper body until your back pressed to his sweaty chest. You winced in pain but you hooked an arm around his neck.

“I want—unggh, y-yes.” Tears fell on your cheeks. Your neck extended to the side, giving him full access to licking and sucking your skin. “A-am I being a—your good g-girl?”

“You’re such a fucking good girl, Petal. Fucking good girl.” He praised you, muffling into your neck. His other hand kneaded your boob, massaging your nipple between his appendages. You groaned at the added touch. The twist in your stomach rose, sensing another high coming soon. Taehyung noticed you tightening around his ramming shaft, so he slid his hand down to your clit and made circular motions. “Cream around my cock again. Come on, pray to me. Bless my name with your sweet sounds.”

“Taehyung, please, please, ahh.” You breathed heavily, bringing your head back to rest on his shoulder. His length ravaged your insides and his fingers pinched your sensitivity until the knot released. You splashed with blistering ecstasy, almost about to scream at the top of your lungs but his palm covered your pitched sounds. You stifled chants of his name with your rolling eyes, even lapping your tongue over his callous. His thrusts slowed down this time, easing you down. He showered you with compliments, kissing your jaw and cheek. 

Once you came back, he took himself out of you to lay you down. He needed to see your face clearly at least once. He grabbed himself and plunged in again. You keened in volume, but Taehyung shushed you. “Babydoll, be quiet. Don’t want your dad to exorcise the both of us.”

You nodded pliantly and slapped hands over your lips. He moved at his previous pace, yet your sensitivity increased after your two orgasms. You were overstimulated but pushed through to help him meet his climax. He handled your hips where it would leave bruises days after. He hunched over to your chest, latching onto your nipple and swirling it with his tongue.

His touch was a mixture of all—needy, urgent, warm, cool, rough, and supple. You loved it all, you wanted more of him. You quivered into your palms, muting the uncontrollable noises escaping you.

He popped off your nub. His thrusts jerked faster and sloppier, recognizing how close he was. His resonant whimpers rung through your ears. It was like his thumb was magnetic to your clit because it was on you again and flicking rapidly. You shuttered, shaking your head at the intensity. It was too much. “One more for me, Petal. I wanna feel you, please.”

Darn, he said please. There was no way to deny him. After four more pumps, he buried himself still. He painted your insides white with his cum, whining your name. Meanwhile, you tirelessly came again. Blinding white spots came into your vision, ringing happened in your eardrums. The feeling of scorching euphoria spread all over your body as you curved your spine. Your hands were replaced with Taehyung’s mouth, sluggishly kissing you and keeping you as quiet as possible but let’s be real.

He kissed your lips once more before scooting in between your neck and shoulder to leave more smooches on your perspiring skin. His cum inside electrified you, feeling it flood around. It wasn’t until his softening dick pulled out of you, that the dam of cum seeped out your weeping pussy.

What an immaculate sight that he couldn’t resist.

Your energy-drained body thought it was over. But Taehyung had other plans because once you felt his tongue on your enlarged overloaded clit, you gasped in shock. “Taehyung, can’t anymore!” Your fingers attempted to push him off of you but you were too helpless and fatigued to overpower his strength.

He tasted the concoction of both of your cum, playing with the juice all over you and his mouth. He was addicted to the taste, vibrating another low moan to your clit.

You begged for him to stop, but he wasn’t going to finish until you came one more time. He lets go hastily and said, “Last one. Come on, Petal.”

Then there was your last orgasm. It was weaker than the previous, better than the first, but the most agonizing one. It burned but was so divine. You shoved your face into your cushion, crying away from every sensation and emotion you felt. 

Taehyung was finally off of you and went up your body to kiss you again. But you were so lethargic, you couldn’t keep up and lay there like a Twinkie. You didn’t even comprehend how he walked out of your bedroom to look for the bathroom, knowing damn well your parents could see him.

But he made it back alive and unseen with a damp cloth to clean you up. He wiped you clean as you stared at him with so much endearment and swell to your heart even after pounding you like an animal.

After he was done cleaning, he threw the dirtied rag to the ground before climbing back in bed and putting the covers over your naked bodies. “You did so good, ___. My good girl, my favorite girl.” He pressed a kiss on your temple before you fell into slumber.

-

“___, wake up! We’re gonna be late!” Harsh knocks through your door disrupted your dreams. You groaned loudly, wanting to go back to sleep. “Sweet pea, get dressed!” It was your mom calling for you. You rubbed your eyes sluggishly in your raggedy state and rolled over. With squinting lids, you searched for your phone to check the time.

You overslept, and you panicked a bit. You kept your cool, it was fine. This was a small bump, but you’ll get over it.

Suddenly, something or someone shifted beside you. You turned your head before you were fully awake by your heart dropping down and coming out of your ass. A peaceful hibernating and naked Taehyung was by your side, cuddling your body. No wonder you woke up with furnace-like heat against you.

Immediately, you shot out of your bed to stand up but you completely forgot that after a night with Taehyung, you become temporarily paralyzed from the waist down. So you stood up and your feeble numb legs made you drop to the floor.

“___, are you awake? I heard a noise.” Your mom questioned again.

“Yeah,” you grimaced at how raspy your voice was. “I-I just woke up, I’m sorry.” You crawled towards the other side of the bed where Taehyung was.

“You have 30 minutes! I told you not to stay up late at night! You know…”

You tuned out her lecture because you were trying to wake Taehyung up in fear that you might get caught. “Taetae, wake up.” You were usually so gentle because it took him a while to fully get up but you slapped the shit out of him.

His eyes stammered open in surprise. He bolted awake and in pain. He was about to yell but you covered his mouth as you stared with alarming pupils. “It’s morning, my parents are awake. I need to get ready and you need to leave.”

“___! Are you listening to me? Do I need to open your door to get you ready?” Your mother complained, trying to open your door but it was still locked. “I’m getting the key—”

“No, mommy!” You protested. Both of your heads directed to the door with widened eyes. “I swear I’ll get ready. I promise I’ll be quick.”

“Okay…I’m almost done with breakfast.” She announced.

You breathed out in relief, knowing you were clear for now. But once you looked over to the naked man still in your bed, you had another morning task to do. “You need to leave. If I don’t come out in five minutes to go get my teeth brushed, my parents will come to get me out.”

Usually, Taehyung would play around, but he knew this time meant business. He nodded obediently. You rolled away to give him some space to get out and gather his scattered clothes. As he was getting dressed, you watched him.

The bruises, the cuts, and that deep wound were all still there. It made you upset, frowning at the mere thoughts of what Taehyung dealt with before coming to see you. You never liked what business or situation he was in, you didn’t know fully but again, just by looking at it, it was not good.

Taehyung detected your staring, but he was surprised at your sad state. “What’s wrong, Petal?”

“I know I said I don’t wanna know what you do, but it won’t change the fact that I don’t like seeing you get hurt.” You explained. “I’m seeing all of this and I’m worried sick, Taetae.”

He sighed, putting his jacket back on then walking over to pick you up on your feet. You used him as leverage. You acted like a baby dear standing on its legs for the first time, making him chuckle at your struggling state but it was too adorable. “I’m sorry for worrying you. You probably wanted to know what happened and I’ll tell you more about it later, but let’s just say I’m trying to get out of the things.”

Your eyes sparkled with joy, “You are? You’re not just saying that, are you?”

He smiled and shook his head, “I’m not just saying that. I’m serious. I’ve been…in it for a long time but I’ve been also wanting to stop.” You nodded understandingly. “Wanna do this for myself, but for you. I don’t want any of them or other affiliations to find you and use you against our will. It’s not easy, hence why I arrived like this, but it’ll come to an end.”

“Okay,” You grinned sweetly before puckering your lips and waiting for him to come.

He leaned down and accepted you, He circled his arms around your body as he kissed you tenderly. He parted away, foreheads touching. “I’m gonna miss you, Petal.”

“As I said, it’ll only be this weekend. I’ll be back tomorrow night.” You reassured but it wasn’t enough to prevent the pout on his lips. “Come on.”

The two of you walked over to the window. He opened the pane as he prepared his descent. His legs were out hanging, his arms and torso still inside your room. You went over to give him one last kiss for his travels back.

“I’ll miss you too, Taehyung.” You giggled, captivating his entire heart.

Feeling overwhelmed with the thoughts and emotions of you, he blurted out, “I love you so much, ___.” It was the first time either of you said it, and he just realized what he said when his eyes grew the size of saucers and stared at him like he was insane. You were a fish, opening and closing your mouth with no words coming out. You didn’t know how to react, but you definitely felt your heart palpitating briskly. 

Before you could finally say anything, he abruptly goes, “Okay, well, yeah bye. See you in psychology class.” He descended as fast as he could, trying to get away as possible. You didn’t even watch him out the window, which was a good thing for him as reached the ground. While walking away, he was mentally screaming at himself and fisting the air at what he did.

-

You were finally dressed and appropriate for church. You fixed the clip in your hair before walking out of your room and down the stairs. Yet your thoughts were elsewhere and about the boy who was in your room not too long ago.

He said I love you. The fucking bad boy of the town confessed his love for you. What the fuck? First of all, you weren’t even together. You didn’t know what you were, whatever. The only thing you knew was that Taehyung would beat the shit out of any guy that came your way. Second, it was an odd choice to say a confession after a sneaky night at your lover’s childhood house with their parents sleeping at the end of the hallway.

Thirdly, you knew what your feelings were but the little shit didn’t give you a chance to comprehend and tell your side. Ugh, now you have to deal with him opening up once you were back in town.

You reached the kitchen, greeting your parents. Your mom told you to take a seat as she prepared a plate for you. She glanced at you, then took another look intently yet you didn’t seem to notice.

Once seated, your father scrolled his phone for news and reread his notes for his sermon. He gazed up at you, then did a double take before raising an eyebrow yet you didn’t see his stare as your mom walked towards the table with your breakfast.

You were too busy looking down at the settled breakfast before to spot the questionable looks your parents made. Once you were about to devour your eggs and kimchi, your dad stopped you. “What were you doing last night?”

You blinked, “I was on my phone late at night, and did my emotional prayer, remember?” Your father hummed, nodding eerily calmly.

Then your mother spoke up as blunt and knowledgeable as she was. “Then why do you have hickeys all over your neck?”

A/N: There will NOT be a part two :D

All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae 2023 (｡●́‿●̀｡)

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter VIII: Please Don’t Break It

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: Angst (but what’s new), mentions of incompetency, scenes of therapy, mentions of past substance use (alcoholism, drugs), brief mentions of withdrawals, alcohol consumption, intoxication, aggressive behavior, violence/fights, mentions of murder (no one gets killed) descriptions of panic attacks, vomiting, crying, [Disclaimer—how panic attacks occur varies by the individual. I for one have experienced panic attacks and used some of the methods described. It may not work for everyone but it worked for me and how to cope]

Word Count: 12.6k

Chapter VIII: Please Don’t Break It || Series Masterlist

After the school bell rang, second-year middle schooler Taehyung exited the classroom with his three other classmates. They were talking in-depth about the new volume of One Piece that came out recently. As they were doing so, a flyer plastered on the school’s bulletin board caught his eye.

Geochang Middle School’s Annual Talent Show.

Taehyung remembered last year’s and it was absolutely remarkable. The singing, dancing, the tricks, students performed. He was impressed yet slightly envious of their confidence. He wished to sign up, but he was actually shy about his abilities. He has been practicing the saxophone, but he didn’t think he was all that skilled yet. He can dance?? It was a trial and error, but he didn’t look weird doing it.

But the thing he loved doing the most was singing. He loved it and learning how to sing songs and melodies. Although he never really performed in front of others before, well, except you and his family.

“Hey, Tae! Your girlfriend is coming.” One of his classmates tapped his shoulder for his attention. The other two snickered in the back, making him roll his eyes at their playful teasing.

“Not my girlfriend.” Taehyung corrected as always before turning his head and smiling to see your bright one.

It was your first year in middle school and was so excited when you got into the same school as your best friend. Though you weren’t in the same classes, you were still able to have lunch with him and walk to and from school with him. With your stuffed backpack carried over your shoulders, your uniform bounced in the air as you eagerly walked towards him.

“Whatever you say!” His classmate scoffed before the three of them went their separate ways. Taehyung waited for you as you headed down the hallway.

Once you reached him, he pulled you into a big hug and shook your body happily in his arms. “You think you did well with the quiz after lunch?”

As you parted away, you nodded proudly with your shoulders high. “It was surprisingly easy. Algebra equations weren’t as bad as I thought.”

“Only you would say that because you love math so much.” Taehyung retorted before his eyes diverted back to the board. “Hey, Blue.” He then pointed at the flyer. “What do you think about the talent show?”

Your eyes followed his pointing and hummed in thought, “I haven’t seen it, but it sounds like fun. Of course, I could never do that.”

Taehyung chuckled softly at your evident shyness from the spotlight. His curled lips progressively sunk as the nerves got to him by the thought. “W-What if I…signed up?”

Your head pivoted at him as your irises gleamed with glee. “If you signed up, you’re gonna be amazing, Hyungie! You have so many talents!”

A tint of pink powdered across his cheeks and nose from your compliment. “Stop, you’re just lying.”

You gasped dramatically before slapping his arm, “I can’t believe you think I’d stoop that low. I would never lie! I’m always honest with you.” You pouted childishly as you crossed your arms over your chest.

Taehyung cooed at your fond expression, wrapping his arms around you once more. “Of course, my Blue. Forgive me!” You shook your head before getting away from him. He quickly followed behind and caught up.

The two of you walked out of the campus and headed down the pathway toward your houses. There was a moment of silence before you spoke up about the talent show. “So…are you gonna sign up?”

He sighed as he stared up into the clear sky. “I’m not sure, like what if I’m not good enough?”

“If I’m not mistaken, it’s a middle school talent show where anyone could sign up for anything.”

“Wow, you say it so rashly.” He laughed, throwing his head back. “I don’t wanna make a fool out of myself. Middle schoolers are mean!”

“You’re not gonna make a fool out of yourself.” You reassured, holding the straps of your backpack. You pulled on it, so it’ll lift higher. “Because you have talents. Singing, dancing, playing an instrument…”

“Rapping?”

“No.”

“How can you be so cruel??” He shouted, his prepubescent ego shattering at your comment.

“I told you I’m always honest with you!” You giggled mischievously but spotted him pouting like a puppy. “Hyungie, I’m serious though. If you sign up, it’s gonna be a decision you won’t regret.”

“Really?” He asked, still having doubt.

“Of course, because if you won’t, you’ll keep thinking about it and wondering what if.” You linked arms with him as you leaned into his body. “If you do, I’ll support you every step of the way, okay?”

You sure knew how to make him feel better. Like how you needed reassurance, he needed some cheering on too. He looked down at you with a sad smile on, “You know how nervous I get, Blue.”

You nodded empathically, then squished your cheek towards his arm. “As I said, I’ll be the one to support you every step of the way.”

-

“So from all of this, how do you feel about her back in your life?” Dr. Im looked at Taehyung sitting across on the couch as practice and routine. In the idol’s opinion, the past sessions have been dreadful. Dr. Im said nothing negative regarding his client, but through his therapist’s non-verbal responses, it was best to say he even agreed.

Taehyung was aware he was at fault. He hasn’t been honest with him, despite certain sessions’ moods consisting of feeling good and better. Though the idol first entered into therapy to “get better,” his goal remained undetermined. Dr. Im tried very hard to cooperate with his stubborn client. He got him talking about happiness in previous sessions, but even that had gotten static. 

Taehyung didn’t know why he was so hesitant into telling Dr. Im about his life. Before their meeting, the company provided a file for the professional so he knew everything about him including his alcohol and drug use, minor fights and under-the-table conflict, and even his…episodes that only his close-knit circle knew about. 

Dr. Im reminded him again that these sessions would lack if nothing was spoken. He was brutally honest when he spoke that though progress wasn’t linear, actions and words had to be made to see progress. He was there to help by all means within the time frame. Because they both knew that Taehyung wanted to feel better, be better. Yet the term was used so often that it felt futile.

Though he was worried, Taehyung eventually opened up about something. He explained how unsatisfying life has been, including the struggles of feeling happy. But one good thing that has happened recently for the last months was reuniting with you. He described your childhood friendship, how close-knit you were with him and even his family, the fights and distance that happened leading up to the falling out, the reunion, the start, and potentially the beginning of the end once again.

It was the way Taehyung rambled about you for such a long time that there were only ten minutes left in the session. Though Dr. Im enjoyed every minute of how willing the idol talked, he needed to get out some answers to all of this.

“So how are you with her now?” His therapist asked.

The idol frowned at the recent memory. It has been two weeks since you’ve last spoken to him or since he last saw you. When it reached the one-week mark, he have had enough and tried to go to the restaurant to see you. But for some reason, Jungkook convinced him that you didn’t want to see him. Why? The answer was through Jungkook’s phone. You texted him saying he was forbidden to see you.

Everything he experienced about that felt so wrong to him that it stabbed him in the chest. The distance between you two seemed to grow as days went on. He missed you and wanted to talk to you. He didn’t like how close you were being to his member, nor did he like how you text Jungkook instead of him. The youngest even texted you right in front of him with a fucking smile too.

You were his best friend. Not fucking Jeon Jungkook.

Nevertheless, Taehyung grinned appreciatively as he reminisced about his time with you those weeks before. “It’s nice, I love it, a lot…” His responses were curt but genuine. “I, uh, she was actually part of my memories when I was happy. She was a big part of my life and helped me through a lot. I guess you can say, I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for her.”

“Which is…”

The idol squinted his eyes as he dived into the question. “Well, being an idol. To tell you the truth, I used to get quite nervous in front of crowds or people in general. In earlier times, performances used to trigger…my episodes.” His face grimaced at the worrisome experiences, especially the ones when you weren’t there. “She was there to help me, and also encouraged me to sign up and audition.”

“What I’m hearing is how appreciative are you of her?” His therapist smiled empathetically, making Taehyung nod. “I’ve noticed from the way you talked, you must really care for her too despite the years away. She is very important to you.”

“I’ll always care for her,” Taehyung confirmed pridefully with no arrogance slipping out. “Even when I accidentally become a dick sometimes.”

“And why do you think that?”

Chewing on his lips, Taehyung looked at the man as if he caught something that wasn’t supposed to show. He could lie to his therapist, but what good does it do for him? He was spending his money on this anyway. Either way, Dr. Im was wise and has been in the game for decades. A problematic idol wasn’t going to outsmart him because he’ll eventually find out about it.

So he gave up his internal battle and sighed. “I guess because I’m selfish.” And before Dr. Im could say what the meaning behind it was, Taehyung continued. “Since my life was in shambles and was in the dark for so long, I wanted a little bit of control in my life.” 

“Care to explain? I remembered you talking about being an idol and the exposure to the world.” 

Today was shockingly growth between him and his therapist. Taehyung was willing to let most of his vulnerability flow out in hopes to find at least one other person who understood his thoughts and feelings without shaming him for what he has been doing. “And to be honest, I feel like I haven’t made progress. It’s been the same bullshit every day for the past year and…I don’t know. I don’t feel good at all.“

“You’ve been going through a lot, especially recently.” Dr. Im responded as he scribbled down more notes on his clipboard. Once he was done, he placed his pen and clipboard on his lap to look over at his client. “I know you may think and say that you haven’t done much, but from seeing you when you first came to now, I’d say you’ve changed.”

Snorting in disbelief, Taehyung rolled his eyes as he leaned back into his seat. “Stop lying, sir.”

“As someone in this field of work, it is unethical to lie. Well, when was the last time you used or took substances? Recklessly drunk? Been into fights? Or even have your panic attacks?” His therapist listed meaningfully as he observed the idol. 

Pursing his eyebrows together, Taehyung pondered on the thoughts. Sure, he has gotten drunk and had minor episodes but it wasn’t to an extent compared to last year. Jesus Christ, last year was a whole mess. Taehyung was going through scandals back to back and HYBE had to cover it up because most of them were true.

Substances…he promised Namjoon and Jimin that he’d stop for the sake of the group, but he took it hard with his withdrawals. Screaming, hitting, throwing things around, and being tackled by a member or his friends. One of the only coping mechanisms was drinking or fighting with the members, and even that still wasn’t good.

Taehyung merely shrugged, “I still drink but less, I guess. I don’t know about the rest…probably a while. I was forced to stop when I came here. The…substances that is.”

“That’s amazing, Taehyung. You’ve pushed through that very well.” Dr. Im praised and nodded. “There have been improvements. You just haven’t been entirely aware of them with everything else that’s going on.”

“You think?” The idol asked softly. He always had this concern. His life never felt any better—apart from you—to fully accept how much he overcame in the past year. There were still more problems, but fewer than before.

“Of course, I’ve kept track and listed down all we discussed and the concerns that were brought up from the first time.” Dr. Im explained. “I commend you with your strength.”

“But what if I fuck up? Won't disappointment come my way?”

“Having those negative emotions will not benefit the situation, whether it’s internal or external. The hars truth would still be that you messed up, but there’s always time to get back up. Relapsing happens, but it's not the end. It may take longer but have patience with yourself.”

Taehyung didn’t realize that a tear ran down his cheek until he hiccuped a sob. But it wasn’t by the comment. It was the realization that Dr. Im was the only person who understood him being like this—a fucked-up unhappy person. Someone who won't blame him or scold him around.

But still, the hard-hitting question lingered in his mind. With or without all the problems he had, why was the feeling still there? “But even with all of that, then why am I still unhappy?”

-

You were wiping down tables while Kenji took a nap behind the cash register. You glanced at him before shaking your head in disappointment as always. He was lucky that it wasn’t busy today, it was practically empty. Then again, rush hour for lunch was over so all that was left was to wait until dinner time.

You heard rummaging through the tarp before looking up to find Jungkook and Jimin smiling and waving at you.  “___! Hi!” Jungkook greeted you before coming towards your frame for an unexpected hug.

You flinched at the touch before carefully hugging him back. “H-hi?” You lightly pushed away from him despite his strong grip. You waved at Jimin with a friendly smile. “W-what are you two doing here?” You were kind of shocked to see them. It wasn’t a bad thing because they’d been here before, but those times, they would be with Taehyung.

You haven’t spoken to or seen Taehyung since the somewhat incident. You weren’t angry at him, but the behavior still bummed you out. You were still undecided about how to think about it, but it didn’t mean you wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Ugh, you regretted those words out of your mouth. It didn’t even help that you even texted Jungkook you didn’t want to see Taehyung at all the day after.

Wow, you were dramatic and exaggerated everything. Can’t really blame yourself because of all the trauma and hardship that you’ve experienced. 

You wanted to see Taehyung again, and knowing how stubborn he was, you expected him to come and disregard your insult at most a week, the earliest being the following day. But now it has been two weeks, and you were rethinking your actions. Though it was to protect yourself, you were still so hard on him. Every frown, sad twist on his face, the deflating in his shoulder, it killed you.

You always hated seeing him like that, even when you were younger. If Taehyung hated seeing you cry, then you despised seeing him sad or scared. He was never good on his own with things like that, so you wondered how he held up all those years.

These months reuniting with him were flourishing. When you were able to push the tension to the side, you’ve seen a new light of this Taehyung. More mature, more charismatic, and more confident in himself, which made you very proud to see knowing his struggle.

But after reflecting and being honest with yourself, you truly saw your Taehyung in him. Still playful, still has a shit ton of friends, still caring, still affectionate, still thoughtful, you’ve seen him all the time.

You just weren’t fully trusting of him to even accept it. You were scared, but you had every reason to be. You knew the effort he made while you gave very little. Maybe he too had his reasons for the mishap. You shouldn’t think of him so lowly, he was trying his best while you weren’t. You felt guilty about what you’ve done and now suffered the consequences. 

You dearly wanted his friendship, whether you liked it or not. 

You did miss him within the weeks that passed. Maybe it was your turn to approach him.

“Jimin Hyung actually just came back from a trip to America.” Jungkook stretched a smile at you. “That means to eat your heart out with homeland food.”

You chuckled at him as you threw the used cloth into the bucket behind the cashier, though you purposefully missed so it hits Kenji hard enough to wake him up. He startled awake and groaned when he smelled the dirtied fabric on his face. He threw it rightfully into the bucket before standing up and glaring at your calm state. It happened before, but it always got to him like it was the first time.

“So I’m assuming you both are here for dinner? It’s pretty early for that, but doesn’t matter.” You quipped as you pulled out two menus for them.

“Actually, no.” Jimin shook his head, which made you confused. “We wanted to invite you out…for dinner.”

“Uhh, what?”

“Please, it’ll mean so much for us if you could come.” Jungkook came forth to you and grabbed your hand with both of his. Gently squeezing it when you tensed up, you seemed to relax right after. “It’ll be fun! We have to go to our company building really quickly, but we’ll eat!”

Though their invitation remained harmless, you couldn’t help but be hesitant of them and their doings. For starters, you were working and it was a weekday. You were sure you explicitly mentioned that you worked every day of the week except weekends. Though Jungkook and Jimin were kind, you don’t know much about them. Yes, you texted Jungkook from time to time but he’d usually initiate it and if you hung out with them, Taehyung would be in the picture.

“Umm, just us?” You asked. When you felt another pair of eyes on you, you glanced to the side to find Kenji staring entertainingly.

“Well, Hobi Hyung and Namjoonie Hyung will come too! That’s why we have to go back to the company.” Jimin responded enthusiastically. “Everyone else has a schedule or other prior engagements—”

“Then I remembered you, and we haven’t hung out in a while!” Jungkook interjected impatiently, squeezing your hand again for encouragement. “Please, please, please, come!”

Now there was too much hand-in-hand contact with this man. You pulled your hand away from him but lightly laughed it off to avoid any awkwardness. You waved him off and shook your head. “Thank you for the offer, but as you can see I’m w—”

“___ can go!” Kenji shouted out of the blue. He sped towards you before wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into him. You huffed at the unexpected contact with your smiling coworker before scowling up. “We aren’t as busy today actually, so we don’t need two workers here. I’m the boss so…”

“Excuse me, you are definitely not—”

“Give yourself a break from time to time, ___.” Your coworker suggested. “The last time you did so was when you were in the hospital, which shouldn’t really be the only time to take a break.”

“Kenji!”

“Halmeoni will understand and will be happy for you!” Kenji wasn’t taking no for an answer. You thinned your lips into a line before pushing him away.

“Just because you’re their grandson doesn’t give you special privileges!”

“Uhh, it absolutely does.” He scoffed, enjoying your angered state. Well, not only him. The two idols were quite fond of your reaction. “Just go, ___. Plus you need to eat.”

“I’m not a child. I can remember things like that by myself.” You rolled your eyes before crossing your hands over your chest.

“So you’ll come?” Jimin’s eyes lit up with hope. “The Hyungs don’t mind at all! I even texted them.”

Having dinner with four highly-acclaimed and handsome idols all by yourself? The offer was very intriguing, to say the least. “But wor—”

“___, Halmeoni would get mad if she saw you here and not me because she knows how much you work for your gra—”

You smacked your palm over Kenji’s mouth while you glared deadly into his pupils. You didn’t want them to know your business, despite telling your only coworker and perhaps friend—you don’t even really hang out with him outside of work—in confidence. With your eyes piercing holes into his brain, he quickly shut his mouth. “Don’t speak of it if you want those to be your last words.” He nodded, agreeing in a heartbeat before you released him.

Your coworker gasped exaggeratedly, getting a nasty shiver from you. “But ___ can go. I don’t mind working the whole dinner rush and closing up alone.”

“I don’t even have money to spend!”

“We invited you! It’s our treat!!” Jimin announced with a very lovely smile.

You sighed, still contemplating. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure! Go have fun.” Kenji reassured.

“If you text help, I’ll drop everything to come back, okay?” You told him, making sure that he was free to ask you.

Kenji shook his head, knowing how much you liked to help but never wanted it back. “Yeah, I will.”

You turned your head to spot Jungkook and Jimin being all giddy. They couldn’t believe they got you out of work so easily. They were mentally high-fiving and slapping each other’s shoulders. “Yeah, I’ll come but will it be okay? I know you’re idols and privacy and all that stuff.”

“Not to worry about that.” Jimin shooed that idea off. “Let’s go!”

You took your apron off and hung it back on the hooks. You barely grabbed your bag when Jungkook reached for your hand and tugged you to follow him out. Your irises looked back at a waving Kenji as he watched you three leave.

This was going to be an interesting experience. Maybe it’ll be good. Help you put yourself out there again after years of keeping to yourself. That was what you and Taehyung wanted after all.

Though you left, you didn’t realize that you forgot your phone inside your apron pocket.

-

Taehyung mindlessly stared into the lit TV screen with a random drama playing. The cascading sun began settling down for the day through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Yeontan rested on his lap while the idol stroked his coat. Not bothering to pay attention to his surroundings, he was deep into his thoughts which all resorted back to you.

He wondered how you were, probably working right now since it was close to dinner time. But he wanted to know if you were okay, with school, with work, with everyone going on right now. He understood that you practically banished him and tried to respect your wishes, but the selfish devil on his shoulder told him to fuck that and run back to you. But he reminded himself of what his therapist told him a couple of days back.

“Though it’s great for you to have her back in your life, you can’t force her to do things that you want and she doesn’t.” Dr. Im informed carefully. 

“That’s not fair!” The idol whined. “I know she does, she’s just so hesitant with me after all that I did.”

“Well, think about it this way—if someone made you do things you didn’t want but they did, how would you feel? Both sides have to consent, right?”

Taehyung kept silent, knowing the right and moral answer to it. But he knew you were different. Your friendship was different compared to anyone. Simply accepting defeat and parting away from either side was wrong and cruel, making that a bad best friend in the eyes of Hyungie and Blue.

If there was one trait you and Taehyung’s relationship was always strong about was stubbornness and adamance. Your friendship stood long because neither side wouldn’t give up on the other, even if communication lacked at some points. You’d bother and irritate (mainly Taehyung) but also protect and care for one another by all means. Because you knew what was best for each other, whether you liked it or not.

If anything, he knew more about you than you did yourself and vice versa.

“Honey, I’ll be back!” The high-pitched voice sent shivers down his spine. She seemed too giddy for his liking right now. Scowling a bit before relaxing an emotionless expression, he shifted his attention towards his dolled-up girlfriend. He was about to ask where she was going, but remembered she had dinner plans with friends she hasn’t seen in a while.

“Have fun. Hope you black out for me.” He piped, but his demeanor remained.  

Clara rolled her eyes, then laughed. “Will you be home alone? You haven’t been out with anyone.”

Ahh, there it was. Yes, what she said was true. After making up with her, Taehyung stayed home all day or at the company building. He hasn’t seen you, Seojoon, or any of his members despite texting. There were no in-betweens, making the growing feeling inside eat him alive.

Life sucked, but hey, his girlfriend wasn’t biting into his ass. The past two weeks Clara was soooo lovey-dovey, sweet, and happy seeing him always in the house. She would ask him if he was going out or not but knew the default answer which she would get all excited over. She spent so much more time with him in that time frame than this past year.

But Taehyung was going mental. Actually, that was the reason why he remembered where she was going because it was finally away from him.

“I’ll be fine.” He hummed, trying to go back to focusing on the TV before him, or whatever he was doing.

“I’ll miss you.” She cooed as she skipped towards the couch. From behind, she bent down to kiss him on the cheek. He scrunched his nose, keeping his hands on his sleeping dog. “Bye, I love you!”

“Me too.” He muttered. Once Clara left and closed the front door, Taehyung realized he held his breath. He felt suffocated, it wasn’t good. Like a time bomb ticking waiting to be detonated any minute, he seemed a bit more alleviated now that he was in the house alone for the night.

Yet he didn’t want to turn into that woman from the Yellow Wallpaper Namjoon talked about before. Maybe it was time to get out. He needed it, but most importantly, perhaps he needed to go to the restaurant to make up with you. He had to. It didn’t sit well with him knowing that you were away from him. He just needed some good right now and if it doesn’t happen, he’d crack.

He turned his head slightly to spot the peace lily plant he had bought for you sitting on the coffee table. It has been sitting there since that night. He took care of it in the meantime, searching online on how to maintain it.

He hoped you understood and forgave him. He didn’t comprehend why he tried to kiss you, but he’ll do anything to get you back.

-

“Jesus Christ, this place is top-notch.” You muttered under your breath when you observed Jimin scan his face to make the elevator function. Jungkook heard your comment, making him giggle beside you. Jimin pressed a floor button before it began to move.

“Our safety is important, especially when visitors come regularly,” Jungkook explained. “That’s why there’s security everywhere.”

“Yes, but it didn’t help that they accused me of being a sasaeng when you both were on my sides smiling.” You mentioned the unfortunate mishap. You stood there embarrassingly without any knowledge while Jimin had to report to them you were a friend. But you weren’t on their friend list, so you needed to make a pass and fingerprint scan. It took longer than anticipated, so you were slightly uncomfortable.

“Sorry about that.” Jimin blew a chuckle out of his nostrils. “Precautions, that’s all.” You hummed in response, patiently waiting for your floor. 

Once you were on the fifteen floor, your trio walked out of the lift. You followed them down a hallway where you reached a spacious lounging area. It shouted out rich and expensive because the couches were built into the floors. Table tennis in the corner, unlimited stocks of water, juice, and other endorsements HYBE groups had, but what fascinated you was the spread of plants surrounding the room.

It looked like the nursery you and Taehyung went to, but of course, the plants were for aesthetics than grabs. You were in awe, scanning through them while Jimin spoke up.

“I texted the hyungs but they aren’t answering, so I’ll bother them. Be right back.” Jimin announced before separating and going down another hallway, leaving only you and Jungkook here.

While you were preoccupied staring at the greenery, Jungkook stared at you nervously. There was something he wanted to ask you but didn’t know how to or when would be the appropriate time especially since it was difficult to hang out with you. The maknae was confident in himself, but yet he was still shy at heart. But this was probably the only time he had a moment alone with you.

“___?” He called your name. Turning your attention to the youngest member of the group, your eyes grew wide in acknowledgment. “C-Can I ask you something? I promise it won’t take long.”

“Sure.” You agreed while keeping a wondering yet polite look.

“I know we only text and we don’t usually hang out but…” Jungkook began. He paused to bite his lower lip to calm himself before gazing his doe eyes onto yours. “I was wondering if we could like…go out together…alone…like a date?”

The sudden confession made you blush red like a tomato with eyes blinking rapidly to wake yourself up in case it was just a dream. But it wasn’t. Jungkook asked you out with confidence and genuineness.

You knew he had a crush on you, but you assumed it was nothing more. Kind of like his crush on IU, it was there but there was no action. Then again, you weren’t an idol. You didn’t even look like IU or even up to par with her visuals…why did he even like you?

“Why?” You wondered aloud.

Your one-word questioning shocked him yet amused him with your furrowed eyebrows and puffed pout. “What do you mean why?”

Your eyes roamed around you to avoid his staring. “Like…why? I’m nowhere near your type!”

His lips twitched upwards. “How do you know if you’re not my type?”

“Well, even though Taehyung and I parted ways before you all debuted, I still kept up with news and music.” You responded, still not meeting his eyes. When he knew you were trying to avoid his stare, he grabbed your chin. Turning to face him, you finally meet his eye contact and cocked your brow. “I-I know I’m not your type. You said it was IU, or anyone will long hair and nice thighs or something. Sorry if I come a bit rude.”

“You’re not.” He smiled, shaking his head. “And that was my type, so who knows what my type is now?”

“You. You would know.”

Jungkook squinted his eyelids at you. A bit sassy, yet you come off so blunt like it was obvious. It reminded him of someone close. “Type can also be different from attraction. But regardless of type, I’m still asking you if you’d wanna hang out. I wanna get to know you.”

Though Jungkook was a good guy, a good person actually, it would be wrong to lead him on when you were not interested in him. He was handsome, sweet, and a bit silly, but it didn’t feel right with him. You knew it wasn’t a good sign to affiliate with him or any of the other members personally.

“Jungkook, thank you for the offer but—”

“Fuck, I knew this was gonna happen.” Jungkook groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in despair, already thinking the worst.

“No, no, hear me out.” You tried your best to give the benefit of the doubt. “I-I just want to focus on my studies right now. Graduate school is a pain for a simpleton like me. Adding onto work, it’s a lot.”

“You’re not a simpleton…” He spoke softly.

You grinned sympathetically. “Either way, I don’t really want to lead you on if I’m not putting all my effort into it. I hope you understand.” It made sense, though there was more to your reasoning than what was said. But he didn’t need to know that.

Jungkook sighed, “Fortunately, and unfortunately, I do. I should have known better than to ask you since you are Taehyung Hyung’s best friend like you’re…” He scanned around cautiously to see if anyone was around. “The..B word.”

You were taken aback, so much questioning running through your mind. First of all—“The B word? You’re not thinking bitch, right?”

His pupils dilated, waving his hands in denial. “No, definitely not that! I meant your nickname!”

“Nickname?”

“Blue!” He yelled but then slapped a hand over his mouth. He acted like he said a cursed word that brought a demon around us. Still confused, you tried expressing your concern but the man beat you to it. “Sorry, we’re not supposed to call you that, that’s why.”

“It’s not some forbidden word though…” You weren’t offended, but his high alert left you baffled. Taehyung was the only one who ever called you that. Not once did anyone else tag along with it, or at least followed through. You remembered that his younger siblings tried calling you Blue and he was not happy about it.

The nickname held much meaning to you and was kept deep into your heart, even with the hurtful memories that came with it. You haven’t heard the name in a while, so your heart longed for it, yet didn’t like it, especially when it came out of the mouth of someone else. But again, Jungkook didn’t need to know that.

“Hyung gets angry with it.” Jungkook chuckled nervously, easing the awkward tension he created.

“Relax though. It’s not harmful.” You tried calming him down. He nodded and stood quietly, but you still had more questions you wanted to ask. Your heart slowly grew anxious. “But what do you mean you knew better? What does me being Taehyung’s best friend have to do with that? But also I must remind you that we aren’t be—”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, but it’s okay. I still want to get to know you better. I wanna be your friend at least!” The youngest member shrugged, shifting the topic.

He just blew you off like that, but it was whatever. A weird conversation…but you too wanted it to be over.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You agreed slowly. Jungkook gave you two thumbs up and a loving bunny smile. You then heard a group of footsteps progressively getting louder, so you turned your head to see Jimin, Namjoon, and Hoseok coming back. You praised the heavens after that.

So much going on, very little knowledge…

-

“What do you mean she’s not here?” Taehyung questioned a sitting Kenji who was finished with his remaining customers leaving. The restaurant was still open, but no one but the idol was there for dinner.

Halmeoni then came out from the kitchen and noticed the handsome idol right away. “Oh, Taehyung! You’re back. How are you?”

He looked at the elderly woman and forced a smile and bow at her. “Hello, Halmeoni. I-I’m fine, but Kenji said ___ isn’t here.”

She hummed in response, “Yeah, she’s not here! Kenji convinced her to take the night off. She needed it.”

“Do you know where she is? Is she at home?”

“She’s actually having dinner…with some guys,” Kenji smirked playfully because he saw Taehyung’s eyes bulged out and jaw unhinged.

“What?” The idol yelled a little too loud, making the younger man giggle.

“Finally, she’s hanging out with people!” Halmeoni cheered.

Knowing how much stress and concern the idol was in, Kenji decided to alleviate it. “Relax, it’s your bandmates.” He informed explicitly to get it into Taehyung’s head. “Jungkook Hyung and Jimin Hyung came to visit and asked her out for dinner. Taehyung nodded, also recalling that Jimin was also back from his trip. “Seems like you weren’t invited if you didn’t know?” That brought a scowl towards the younger man, but he couldn’t care less as he kept a smile on his face.

His expression relaxed as the words sunk in. Though it probably was a simple and casual dinner, Taehyung felt insulted and sad. You’ve been away from him for a while and said that you never wanted to see him again. Yet Jungkook and Jimin had the privilege of hanging out with you.

He was hurt, not at you. The entire situation. He hated where everything was going and what changes are happening. It wasn’t fair for him and his feelings. But this was all his fault, right? His doings led to this, so he had to deal with it, right?

He hated it, he hated himself even more. Nothing really was going his way and he had to suck it up so he couldn’t be selfish? Let others be happy and enjoy one another while he sulked and self-deprecated alone by himself. So much for improvement, right Dr. Im?

With that being said, he bolted out of the restaurant in a scurry, leaving Halmeoni and Kenji baffled and wondering what just happened. Now he needed to get away. He wanted to be alone right now. There were so many things that he couldn’t do and have. Well, enough was enough.

He needed an escape fast.

-

“Cheers!” The sounds of the glass filled clashing together echoed through the private dining room. You smiled and nodded as the boys cheered rowdily at the simple gesture. All of you then took a gulp or sip of the foamed beer that caused you to make a repulsive face with your nose scrunched.

“Don’t like beer?” Sitting next to you, Jimin laughed as he saw your expression.

“Uhh, yeah but it’s fine.” You smiled through the gross bitter aftertaste. “Don’t really like drinking as much.”

“But when you do, what kind do you like? We can order some.” Namjoon, who sat on the other side of you, asked with a friendly dimpled smile.

“I usually just go for wine or any flavored soju. Soda is nice too.” You answered while forcing yourself to drink the beer, making a soured face.

Hoseok, who sat across from you, laughed as he pulled the drink away from you. You grew big-eyed like someone stole your candy. You reminded him of someone and it was so adorable. “You don’t need to force yourself. We’ll get you those.” You muttered a thank you. Before you could even put a vegetable in your mouth, Hoseok wondered, “So how are you? We haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Oh, I’m fine, thank you. Just work and school has been my life right now.” You quickly threw slices of pork belly into your mouth and chewed while thinking of anything else to say. “I’m not doing anything big like you all.”

“___, please. Though our lives are different from yours, we still equate and emphasize the importance of what and why others do.” Namjoon argued as he watched you eat. You stuffed your face and pouted when you did so. It looked so familiar…

“Well, yes. I agree with you.” You shrugged, gulping down the food. “But really, life is…alright.” You hoped they won’t ask because it would be an opening of a dam you didn’t want to let out. 

“Feel free to hit us up though!” Hoseok offered, making you relax. “We loved spending time with you at the party! I especially love meeting and getting to know new people.”

“O-Oh, thank you. Just me?” You chuckled politely. You also couldn’t help but be in an intimate atmosphere with your bias.

“Yeah? And the other members too if they want. We all like you.” Jungkook mentioned as he kept grabbing more food off the plates.

Okay, you weren’t expecting this at all. Usually, especially with friends of Taehyung, would only put up with you because of him. They wanted him, not you but you were a package deal. So it was surprising to know they wanted to be friends with you. Perhaps this was what Taehyung meant when they were different than his past “friends.”

“Thank you.” You thanked them, smiling shyly and looking down at the dishes of food.

“You don’t have to be so formal with us.” Jimin giggled as he poured the bottle of wine given in a new glass for you. “You’re acting like it’s your first time making friends.”

“Technically, yes. I’m practically a loner.” You pursed your lips as you looked up to meet all their perplexed yet concerned stares. Obviously, it was true but you made it into a joke, but they didn’t know so you shook your head. “I mean yes, that’s true. But…it’s fine.” You laughed awkwardly, but they continued their gazes, causing you to stop. “I don’t really have many friends.”

“Like…at all?”

You pondered on the thought, trying your best to think of some people. “I guess, there’s my coworker. But we just talk at work most of the time. Oh, and his grandparents!”

“H-How about in Geochang?” Hoseok inquired with a smile. “Taehyungie said he had a lot of friends there! Since you were his best friend, we assumed that they were yours too!”

“They were still his friends. I only was there for Taehyung when he would spend time with them. For the most part, those friends didn’t want me there.” You responded. “His sister was my age. She was my friend, but I barely contacted her after her family moved out. All of them actually…”

Okay, maybe you made this dinner more depressing than it should have, judging by their empathetic faces. Your eyes bounced off of them as you let out a laugh. “I mean now you’re all my friends, right? It doesn’t matter anymore.” You balled your hands in fists and waved them in the air, getting all excited out of nowhere.

Assuming what you were trying to do, Namjoon joined in your laughter to die down the awkwardness. “Yes, we’re friends. Don’t worry, we want to spend time with you too, whether Taehyung’s here or not.”

“Hyung’s right!” Jungkook agreed. “We should be able to hang out with you, even call or text.”

“I guess so, sure.” You said. “Again, I work and go to school. It’s my priority. I’m here in Seoul for that reason.”

“Of course, we respect it.” Jimin nodded reassuringly. “But don’t exert yourself too much. Wouldn’t want to repeat the hospital thing Taehyung told us about?”

With the mention of his name, you were curious if they knew how he was. But you refrained from doing so. For some reason, you didn’t want to ask them. They probably would have meant well, but your gut feeling begged to differ. After all, this was your first time alone with them so you simply nodded. Maybe one day you’ll ask Taehyung about it. 

“By the way, let’s get your phone number or username, whichever you prefer.” Hoseok pulled his phone out of his pants pocket. 

You accepted and were about to get your phone out of your bag, only to notice it wasn’t there. You checked through the pockets and doubled into the bigger space, but came up empty-handed. You realized you must have left it back at work. “I forgot my phone at work. Can you please bring me back there?”

“Sure, but after dinner, of course,” Jungkook answered before placing meat wraps on your plate. You raised a brow at him, to which he winked cheekily. You scoffed before taking a bite of it.

“___, if you’re not busy on Saturday, I was hoping you could tag along with me to this trendy cafe. I was supposed to go with my sister, but she had a last-minute thing. They have this amazing mango dessert and iced Americano.” Hoseok invited, making you blush. You were experiencing too much with your favorite of the group, but you didn’t want to show how flustered you were. 

“I’d love to actually. Weekends are my day offs.”

“Wait, I wanna come too!” Jungkook pouted, not giving up on getting closer to you. “You talked about the place before and it sounded good.”

You shrugged, not minding at all. “Sure, but I hope iced Americanos aren’t the only drinks they serve. I don’t like coffee.”

“They have a lot more drinks like this coconut refresh—” Hoseok couldn’t even finish his sentence when you grimaced at the words. But he merely laughed at your displease. “Not a big fan of coconut?”

“I get queasy from the smell and taste.” Just by imagining it, you swore you could smell the scent, giving you shivers down your spine.

“You’re so much like Taehyung…” Namjoon mumbled, but the rest of you heard him speak. Jimin asked him to reiterate what he said. “I said, you’re so much like Taehyung.”

You blinked at the leader as you straighten your back. You weren’t expecting that either. “Wh—How?”

“You make faces when you don’t like something, you don’t drink coffee, you shake your fists in the air like him, and you pout when you chew.” Namjoon listed his observations, which not only freaked you out but the others. “S-Sorry, I was just looking and thinking. I’m sorry if I disrespected you.”

You shook your head and waved him off. “No, you didn’t. Uhhh…I didn’t think people would notice enough.” After many years and some months reuniting with Taehyung, you realized how many of each other’s habits you took after even to this day. It wasn’t a bad thing but showed how much you influenced and impacted one another.

“I thought I was the only one…” Jimin chimed in as well. “You’ve been doing these small things, like him. Weird…”

“But it’s kinda cute.” Hoseok hummed. “Maybe a best friend thing?”

A soft grin appeared on your face, reflecting on what he said. You weren’t insulted, you didn’t deny, maybe he was right. Maybe Taehyung was still somehow your best friend. “Maybe.”

-

The clear liquor burned down his throat as he chugged the green bottle in one go. Once it was empty, he threw it to the side of him. The other finished bottles crashed together on the cold concrete ground in the corner of the alleyway. 

Taehyung wiped off the excess leaking on the side of his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes roamed around the dark cold night. Blurred blobs of people passed through his hazed vision. None bothered to take a glimpse of a drunken man sitting on trash and dirt. Not even the police were supposed to patrol the area because they didn’t bother to care enough for a place that was deemed sketchy, and probably illegal. Not their business at all.

At some point, the soju and cognac naturally became water to the idol and made him feel something the past two weeks couldn’t do. He cracked, going with the “alcohol can make it better” route he hasn’t done so for a while. He did contemplate his… other methods, but he couldn’t get it right away so this was probably the most convenient way.

He laughed to himself, in a pitied and disappointed way. If his past self saw him like this, the idol he “wanted to be,” he knew the younger him would want to punch present him in the throat for deciding to throw his life away. Because despite being one of the most renowned idols in the world, what the fuck was going on with him inside? He couldn’t help himself with all that was happening to him and the spotlight of V. In the morning, he read articles about death threats and dating scandals with another Blackpink member. Can reporters at least be creative with their fake news? He didn’t like the implied coverage of him running through the group.

He didn’t want to let it get to him, but as a human, it was hard not to. When things spread, it got frightening for him because he knew some of it wasn’t true. He couldn’t have issues that he could keep to himself. A handful of people always had to know, oftentimes before him too.

All these words made him feel discouraged and pressured but hid all his emotions and feelings away to not make anything worsen. Not let those online who read too much into his behavior speculate and spread rumors. But also not let those around him talk down upon him when he suppressed his happiness for theirs.

He fucking hated this. He was feeling too much and there was nothing he could do. He felt it all inside his chest, waiting for it to explode. He didn’t want to cry anymore, he did that within the first hour of drinking. He has been in the same spot for at least three hours. It was probably close to midnight but couldn’t give a single fuck.

He stared at his last unopened bottle, it was Yakult flavored. He never tried it before, only saw them on the shelves. But he couldn’t resist it because it somehow reminded him of you. You used to love Yakult, drinking it at least once a day. It was also because Taehyung gave you one every day to satisfy you.

The alcoholic taste was gone in his taste buds, so he assumed that it tasted like juice. Shrugging, he uncapped the bottle and lipped, gulping in a hefty amount in his mouth.

“Look at that man. Some worthless piece of shit.” Taehyung’s ears twitched at the voice. Turning his head to the sound, he spotted three men staring down at him in disgust. Examining the trio swaying and trying their best to keep still, they were tipsy. Despite being a famous individual, they don’t seem to realize it as their intoxicated minds overpowered their vision.

But Taehyung wasn’t about to ignore another stranger blatantly insulting him. Though with half of his mind only functioning, he lets more of his guard and restrains down. He became more reckless, and messier, and doesn’t give a fuck about consequences. His pride was the center of the cause and he was not about to let a low life say shit to him.

Using his palms, he pushed himself from the ground to stand tall. Well, unsteady but he supported himself with the building wall. He glared at the trio who seemed about the same size as him. At a glance, they looked much older but couldn’t see clearly with their bangs covering their eyes. “Dude, fuck off. You’re one to talk with your five-millimeter dick.” Taehyung slurred.

“The fuck did you say, you bastard?” The center, we’ll call him the leader, a person garbled back as he stepped forward.

“Say it to his face.” The one on the left acted all tough.

“I did. You’re just so stupid, you can’t understand anything any human being says.” The idol snapped back and then glanced over at the other one.

“Acting all brave when you’re a skinny guy.” The one on the right finally came up and slightly pushed Taehyung but he was able to keep his balance.

“Pft, acting all that when you can’t even reach the cupboards above.” Taehyung spat back before hiccuping. “Now leave me alone. I minded my own business and you three shitheads should too.”

“Fuck that, you’re gonna get down on your knees and apologize for what you fucking did.” The leader butted in, getting more riled up than before.

“I didn’t do shit. I’m not apologizing.” The idol shook his head.

“We’ll get it out of you.” The leader came forth and was about to punch Taehyung in the face. But Taehyung threw a jab on the leader’s cheek. The guy fell back on his butt on the ground, caressing his pained cheek. “Ahh, you fucker! You’re gonna get this!”

Then all of sudden, the other two helped his friend by attacking the lonesome idol. But little did they know, Taehyung has had experience with situations like this.

-

It was the day of the talent show and Taehyung was fearfully worried. He has been practicing day and night and right after school whilst dragging you along with him. You stayed up with him the night before to help him with pronunciation, support, and anything he needed.

This was his first time singing in front of an audience and you were so excited for him. You knew he was going to do well. He always had a beautiful singing voice. It was so worthy enough for him to be an artist, an idol, anything to do with his talent. But you also knew how nervous he was. You had to hold him and run your fingers through his hair last night to calm him down. You cheered him on, praised him, and gave him pep talks, but yet his unconscious thinking dragged him down.

An hour before the talent, his family did quick errands and bought flowers to congratulate Taehyung, leaving you alone with him at his house. You both were dressed up and ready. Him in black dress pants and an ivory buttoned-down shirt while you were in a sage-green dress. Your best friend wanted to do last-minute rehearsals before you left for school.

You clapped proudly as you sat on his bed, watching him finish the song at the end of it. You bounced off and flattened your skirt. “Hyungie, that was amazing. I’m so excited!”

“I felt like I was off-key at the end.” He frowned, criticizing his perfect practice. “Let me do it ag—”

“Taehyung, you did great. There’s no need to practice again. You’ve been practicing so much, you’re gonna hurt your vocal cords.”

“Blue, I know but—”

“No buts.” You squeezed his shoulder as a sign of comfort. “Sit down and rest a little before we leave. I’ll make some tea for you.” He nodded and sat down on his desk chair.

Once you left his room, his thoughts occupied him. He knew how agitated he was. It was because he wanted to do well. He wanted to perform and showcase his talent to not only you but his family, friends, heck, everyone in the school. Sure, there was no winning or losing, but the pride was still there to brag about how well you did.

But this was really for him to prove himself. Though having many other talents, he wanted to think that he was a good enough singer. He enjoyed singing, perhaps even using it to make a career as an idol. But that sounded too far-fetched.

It was the self-confidence he lacked drastically. He couldn’t help but think lowly and envisioned embarrassing himself in front of everyone, giving them and him no hope in his singing. You told him otherwise, and it did help him throughout the weeks before the talent show. But now being on less than an hour before the talent show, every bit of assurance flew out the window and now the negative notions began shining.

Was there even hope for him? How much does he believe to actually go through with this? Maybe he can drop out last minute? He doesn’t think the amount of work and effort he did was enough. Will he disappoint you? His family? The entire school? Himself? He was going to do a shitty job, he just knew.

His hands suddenly became clammy, opening and closing his trembling fists. His breathing felt like it dropped, making him feel choked up and find it difficult to even inhale. The beating of his heart increased rapidly, unable to catch up with it. He winced as the pressure worsened. He got out of his seat hastily, pacing around his room.

He couldn’t process everything clearly, he was getting antsy and afraid by the second. His uncontrollable eyes moved around his surroundings as he felt his tear ducts swell up from the overwhelming state of his body. It was happening again, but this was the worst one yet.

He tried those breathing exercises you taught him to do. “D-Deep breaths. Deep breaths.” He respired quiveringly, but after a few attempts, it didn’t feel like it was working. “Come on, Taehyung. Breathe.” He lets out an alarmed sob. It wasn’t getting better, and he couldn’t come up with anything else.

Unknowing of his episode, you entered calmly into his room with a fresh cup of tea for him. Once you closed the door behind you, you turned around. “Taehyung, I got yo—” You spotted him all frazzled, wheezing, and weeping. He walked all over his room, feeling out of control.

“Bl-Blue!” He wept, going towards you. “I-I’m scared. Pl-Pl-Please.” He grabbed your unoccupied hand into his quaking ones.

You placed the cup down on his table, so your hands were fully occupied with his. “Hyungie, let’s do the deep breaths. You got this. You remember those, right?” Your voice balanced, and relaxed as possible.

He shook his head and cried, “I tried it. It doesn’t work.” He began heaving heavily. You rushed him to sit down on his bed and you followed for support.

You had to think fast about what other things you could do. If deep breathings weren’t enough there has to be something else that can help. Questions? You didn’t have anything cold. Closing your eyes. Maybe distractions?

“Hey, Hyungie. Look at me. Focus on me.” You squeezed his hands. His moving eyes hurriedly gazed at you. “Remember that one song we learned. I love that song and its lyrics.”

 He shook his head again. “Wh-What does that have to do with anything?”

“Do you remember it?” You ignored his questioning. “How ‘bout singing me them, come on? I’ll sing with you too.”

“Blue? I ca—”

“Come on. Just you and me, Hyungie.” You encouraged his panicked state.

-

“Are you sure you want us to leave you from here?” Jimin asked through the rolled-down passenger window. As promised, they took you back to the restaurant. They were willing to wait for you so that they could drop you off at home but you denied. You didn’t want them to know where you lived because it was in a bad area, and they probably had a busy day tomorrow. You didn’t want to bother them for too long.

“Oh, I’m sure!” You promised, shouldering your bag. “I live pretty close to here anyway.” Technically, you needed to ride the bus but that wasn’t anything you didn’t do before.

“Yah, why is this in a scary area?” Hoseok was in the backseat, looking around the area through the tinted window.

“Ahh, it’s not scary. Trust me. I’ve always left here around this time.” You reassured, trying to ease their worries. “I just don’t go down the road we drove through.”

“Yeah, we should take another route,” Namjoon suggested from the backseat, scrolling through his phone. “I think I saw a drug exchange and it’s not sitting right with me. I feel like an accomplice.”

“___, are you really sure?” Jungkook asked once more, ducking down from the driver’s seat to look at you.

“I’m perfectly fine, I promise.” You smiled. “Thank you for dinner and paying. I appreciate it. Jungkook, send my number to everyone.” Jungkook clicked his tongue and threw a finger gun at you.

“Anytime, ___. We’re grateful to have spent time with you.” Jimin chirped happily.

“Call or text us any time!”

“I guess, I’ll get going inside so bye!” You waved your goodbye. They said theirs back and watched you go into the restaurant before they drove off.

Once you flung the tarp open, Kenji was about to yell that they were closed until he saw you again. “Oh, why are you back?”

“I forgot my phone in my apron.” You sighed as you headed towards the hooks. “You know when I was manhandled out of the place.” Your coworker laughed as he started putting up the chairs. You dug into your apron pocket and finally retrieved your phone.

Through your Lock Screen, you noticed many messages and calls. The most recent ones were from Jungkook and unknown numbers, which were probably the other boys. Some messages were from Kenji, but they were irrelevant since most of them were memes. But what intrigued you the most was that there were twelve missed calls and messages from Taehyung. The messages consisted of where you were, how are you, please tell him if you were okay, and other concerns he had.

These were the first contacts from him in a while, telling you that he never bothered giving up. Your lips curled slightly at the thought before you put your device into your pocket. “I guess I’ll get going again. Thanks for covering my shifts.” You announced.

“No need to thank me. It wasn’t bad.” Kenji shrugged. You were about to take your leave before he called for you. “By the way, Taehyung Hyung came to the restaurant and asked about you.”

You stopped your track, diverting your head to your coworker. “H-he came?”

Kenji crooned in response. “Yeah, it was a little while after you left. I just told him you were casually out with his members.” Though it was casual, you spectated that Taehyung could have possibly thought worse of it, especially since you two still weren’t on talking terms yet.

“Do you know where he went?” You gulped, growing concerned.

“No, he didn’t say. Just dipped out.” Your coworker informed. “He was probably pissed that he wasn’t invited.“ Maybe, or maybe even more.

You nodded again before saying your goodbyes. Once he said goodnight, you were out of the restaurant with your phone back in your hands as you wondered where Taehyung was. He may have gone back home, but you weren’t so sure. You could text any of the boys if they knew, but you weren’t so sure if they did since they were with you the entire time. They also mentioned the rest of the members were busy. But now you were questioning how busy Taehyung was if he managed to come here for you.

Calling him should be okay since he texted you back. It should be okay to do so. It would also mean that you were good with him again. As you began your way to the bus stop, you pressed on his contact to call. But after long-awaited rings, it went straight to voicemail. So you called again, but again with the voicemail. Deja vu…

Shaking your head at that thought, you left a voicemail. “Hey, Taehyung. I saw your calls and text. Sorry, I couldn’t answer right away. I left my phone back in the restaurant. I also found out you stopped by. Call me when you received my message…” You were feeling alarmed for an odd reason. “Stay safe, okay?” You ended the voicemail and threw your phone back into your bag.

You couldn’t understand the tingling sensation inside of you. It left you uncomfortable, almost like something was wrong but there was nothing to be concerned about. Your night was restful and enjoyable. The members were indeed affable and kind towards you. Though you were a bit shy with your responses, they knew how to ease you in. They knew how to make people comfortable; you admired that trait of theirs.

While you were walking quietly, you then heard thumps and grunts at a distance. It didn’t stop your feet though, you clutched onto your bag as you pushed yourself to get through. It could be a couple doing public indecency, a burglar, or maybe even a murder. Usually common in areas like this.

But the one thing you had to remember was to protect yourself, so you weren’t about to get into other people’s business and suffer. Unless it was an innocent bystander, you carried pepper spray with you at all times.

The volume of the noises increased as you continued your way. It was until you reached an alleyway that you noticed four figures over each other. It seemed like a fight, but in addition to the emptied bottles you found through your scrutiny, it was a drunken fight.

Because of that, it was not your business, and was about to leave the premises when you heard a shout. “Fuck off!” That voice…was familiar. But senses could deceive you, so you were battling your curiosity with your rationale. You were alone, with nothing but pepper spray and your hands as self-defense, but still, it wasn’t enough if it would be four against one.

Yet if you left, you’d have some sort of guilt if it was someone you knew. But then again, who would it even be? Kenji? He was still at the restaurant. There wouldn’t be anyone you knew, unless—

The sound of glass shattering broke through your mind. You sneakingly stepped forth at the end of the alleyway. You hid behind trashed boxes, observing the people fighting. The streetlights were dimmed and blinking. You were able to see faces and silhouettes, but they were still a bit unclear. 

You squinted your eyes. A man held a broken bottle while two stood in front of him. One was on the ground possibly passed out. But you noticed liquid near his head, and it didn’t look like a good sign.

“You fucking killed him!” One of them shouted at the man holding the glass.

“No, I didn’t!” That very man screamed, and it sounded very distinct.

“Yes, you did. You murdered my friend!” Another yelled back.

“No, I didn’t!” The man repeated, voicing out through a sob. Then the two figures attacked him, coming from his sides. They threw punches, kicks, and blows at his body but the man was still standing strong, being able to take both of them. “I’m not a murderer!” He grunted as his back slammed on the concrete wall, throwing down the broken glass.

Through that angle, you were given a vivid image of him. Once you saw it, you swore your heart dropped.

A teary-eyed Taehyung swung his arms and aimed at their face and kicked their chest. One fell back and groaned while the other held his stomach. “I’m not a murderer! You’re hurting me! You’re hurting me!” The vein on his neck was prominent and straining as he kept shouting. He kicked the man on the ground in the chest while he kneed the other in the stomach again.

The two were on the ground, groaning in pain and moving weakly. Taehyung panted, looking down at them. You watched him lean on the wall for support before he covered his face with his palms. You heard soft crying coming out of his mouth, twisting your heart in ache. How did he even get here? How did this happen?

Your thoughts remained, but they were immediately pushed back when you scrutinized him more. His body was notably shaking, even at the distance you were in. He jerked his hands in the air as if it would alleviate him. You could hear his harsh wheezing densely as he began circling the three men on the ground.

It was as if your body was on high alert because you felt yourself running toward him. You curved and jumped over the men to get to him. He then felt another figure coming towards him and was about to get defensive again until he found your eyes, eyes that knew how to calm him down.

“Bl-Blue.” His voice cracked through his heaves, stepping away from you. His eyes went out of control as he looked over at the unconscious men, making him realize you saw him like this. Saw him in a way you have never seen him before.

He feared the worst.

Then all the fears from within traveled from his stomach to out of his mouth, retching all the liquids he consumed on the concrete. You shifted away from the vomit. His throat burned furiously as he gagged the intoxication and dizziness out. Tears pearled down his face and his nose reddened by the forced action.

As he somehow managed to finish, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. But his hyperventilation intensified as he whined at the piercing pain within his chest. Holding where his heart was, he folded down. Before he could crash down, you hooked an arm under his form and guided him away from the scene. Your steps were wider and brisk until you stopped at the corner that had boxes stacked enough for him to not look at what happened.

You helped him stand steadily with cautious hands on his shoulders. “___, I-I-can’t breathe.” He squeaked, his body convulsing under your touch. Despite the signs of a panic attack, when he was in this state, he always needed a loved one’s touch.

“I’m sorry. Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay. We’ll get through this. Let’s do deep breaths.” You shushed him. You led some exercises you recalled from your memories. Inhale, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. Exhale, 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. But it wasn’t working as he shook his head, the breathing was still weighted and tears slipping out of his puffed eyes.

You focused on him, being as peaceful as possible. It wouldn’t help the situation if you were the opposite. You had to think fast, attempting to recollect past things you’ve done. But it was such a long time ago; it was challenging you. You didn’t think he still had them after he overcame his stage fright, but this was probably for a different reason and his coping stayed constant. 

But the pleading eyes of Taehyung ached you, wanting nothing more but to help him be free from his episode. You didn’t have anything you used to help him.

Then your eyes lit up at a method, one that worked every time.

“Tae—Taehyung, focus on me. Your eyes on me, okay? Can I hold your hands?” His tensed eyes landed on your solaced ones. He nodded before your hands made their way down until you grasped onto his hands tightly. The feeling of your touch soothed his fragile condition. “Do you remember that one song we learned when we were in middle school?”

“A-A song?” His lips trembled in fear.

“Yeah, let’s focus on that because I forgot how much I loved it! Do you remember it?” You smiled joyfully, scrunching your nose.

“D-Do you…mean…” He gasped as the pain pinched his heart, causing him to fall forward. But you kept his support, carrying some of his weight through your arms. You motioned him to sit down on one of the boxes. While he did so, you bent down on your knees to meet his eye level.

“I’ll start it, okay?” You told him and he couldn’t get a word out but he kept his gaze and nodded. “Okay.” You let go of one of his hands so you could snap your fingers to the beat in your mind, doing a little shoulder dance and sounding soft tickings as the introduction. You were trying to ease him away from tension.

“L is for the way you look at me,” You sang merrily as you looked at him. “Your turn.”

“O-O...is for…the only…one…I see,” He sang slower while you silently mouthed the lyrics for him to follow, but his breathing control got better. You nodded as your smile grew wider.

“You’re doing so well,” You praised. “V is very, very extraordinary,” You pointed at him and tried your best with that high note where you found his lips curling.

“E-E is even more than anyone that you adore,” He stayed on tempo, but still shaky. Yet you were so proud. He inhaled deeply and exhaled.

“All together!” You expressed. His trembling hands came back to your calming ones before you decided to lace your fingers together. You swayed your intertwined hands side to side with the unheard beat when the two of you chorused, “Can love is all that I can give to you. Love is more than just a game for two.”

“Two in love can make it,” You vocalized, while you saw his eyes weeping out more tears. You let go of him. Your thumbs reached out to wipe them off his face but kept your palms on his cheeks.

“Take my heart, and please don't break it.” Though he sang perfectly, his voice cracked with his bawling. He wrapped his hands around your wrists, holding you in place.

“Love was made for me and you,” You sang together and you motioned one more time for the ending. “Love was made...for me…and you.” You both held out the last note, but it was slightly off from Taehyung’s cries. But it was all okay because you saw that he felt a lot better and his breathing became stabilized once again.

Only the noises of his sniffing and breathing rang through your ears as your glassy eyes stayed on him, waiting for his green light. But unexpectedly, he slithered his arms around your waist and pulled you into his lap. He kept his grip tight as he buried his face into your chest. 

Your body hardened, but then felt the familiar warmth he gave out like when you were younger. Not wanting to reject him after his episode, you let it be and circled your arms around his torso. When he realized you didn’t push him away, he cried in relief. The wetness of his tears drenched your shirt, but you didn’t bother to care. You rubbed his back and rocked yourselves while humming a random tone.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Blue.” He chanted into your skin, having light hiccups in between.

“You’re fine, Hyungie. You’re good, you did so well. No more fears right now.” You hushed as his weeping remained. 

You took it all in, never having any doubts at this moment. All you wanted right now was to make all his troubles go away. It was hard, but it wasn’t impossible. And you would do them in a heartbeat because now you took the first step of having him back in your life.

Accepting him. All of him. 

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee @stfxthv @dahliasbouqet @bertqut1 @fuckthinking @taebangtanbabe @tan-veee

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter IX: Hear Me Out

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: this was long for no reason lol, LOTS of crying in a one night, mentions of substance use and alcoholism, brief description of therapy, hints of depression and anxiety, the media is the absolute worse, mentions of panic attacks, a very emotional yet soft flashback, brief description of past infidelity (just want to hug oc :c), very brief mention of unexpected pregnancy (don't worry, it's none of them), insecurities on maintaining a relationship, Seojoon is back ayeee, verbal fighting

Word Count: 12.8k

Chapter IX: Hear Me Out || Series Masterlist

Settling down a glass of water and a plate of leftover homemade cookies in front of Taehyung, you both sat at your futon table, sitting across from one another. After you calmed him down, you knew he never wanted to be alone after an episode. You suggested bringing him home, but he refused and told you to not tell anyone what had happened. So ultimately, you brought him to your small apartment.

You still made sure that the unconscious men were still alive, and they all had pulses. The liquid that the first blacked-out men were on top of was soju. They probably would have forgotten what happened, so you escaped the premises holding a partially drunk Taehyung before someone caught you.

He muttered a thank you before drinking the water in one go and taking a cookie to help him sober up. Only the chewing and crunching from Taehyung cracked through the air as vocal silence was somewhat necessary after the events. 

While he did so and stared at the bitten treat, you played with your fingers as you eyed around your apartment. Though he didn’t mind, you were a bit embarrassed showing him where exactly you lived. Everywhere screamed skeptical and empty. You couldn’t help but compare it with his multi-billion won high-security house with a fucking nice backyard.

“Sorry if…uhh, my apartment’s not much.” You didn’t know why you had to apologize for your living situation. It wasn’t your fault.

Looking up from the baked good, he found you and your cheeks fairly pink while doing your habit. He fuddled while lifting a brow. “You don’t need to apologize. If anything, I should be thanking you for bringing me here.”

“But still…you’re not used to this type of lifestyle.” You shrugged awkwardly. “I don’t even have a couch.”

“___, I could care less if we used the floor as a table or you used your hands to scoop the water I’m drinking.”

You nodded, staying quiet. However, you grew more lax with his reassurance, even letting out a sigh of relief. You watched him pop the remnants of sweet before taking another one from the plate. He looked rather functional, but of course, still infused with alcohol. You didn’t really speak after you sang the song together. He merely followed you silently while you said short instructions.

“How are you feeling now?” You asked softly, a tinge of worry dipped into your asking.

He stopped the cookie mid-way from his mouth before closing it. He placed the dessert back down and sighed, “Thank you for saving me back there. Who knows what would have happened to me if you weren’t there.” He pushed the plate away from him. “You didn’t need to though, could have left me to suffer the consequences.”

“Please, no. Taehyung, you were having a panic attack.” You disagreed, couldn’t even imagine not helping. “I couldn’t leave you like that. I would have done that to anyone.”

To anyone…right. The idol hummed, taking in your statement. “Guess you helped me escape from the law, my lovely accomplice.” He quipped with a smirk. You rolled your eyes before a small grin crept on your face. “You should know you’re still one of the only people who knows how to calm me down like that.”

Your lips faltered in confusion. “Who’re the others?”

“My mom, grandma before, and Jimin.” He replied. “I forgot about the song. It’s the most effective for me.”

You smiled, recalling the first time you used it. It was hours before the middle school talent show. The only reason why you did it was to distract him. He needed to focus on his mind away from his rough breathing. It was on a whim, but it worked great and now the song always calmed him down whether he went through an episode or not.

His list was expected as they were the most important people in his life. However, it was shocking that a specific person you thought of wasn’t on the list. “Not even Clara?”

Taehyung snorted as if you said a joke, “Please she doesn’t know anything about calming someone down. All she cares about is her image.”

Well, that was completely out of nowhere, baffled by his reveal. He spoke on it so casually, yet it was like a blow to his relationship. You couldn’t help but be curious as to why he might have said that, but you chose not to ask as it was the least of your worries right now.

Ignoring his comment, you decided to ask other questions that came to mind while you were on the bus ride home. “Before tonight, when was the last time you went through an episode?”

Tilting his head to the side, he stared at the wall across as he went through the folders of his memories. “Like a full episode, probably last year. Short breaths from time to time, but nothing too serious like tonight.”

“Taehyung…” You frowned, scooting closer to him. You kept your palms on your thighs when you kept your stare on him. His expression remained blunt, almost as if these mini-episodes weren’t at all concerning.

“No worries, ___. They weren’t big. When they happen, the breathing exercises help.”

“Could I ask what caused your last one? Wait, how’d you get into that situation?” Some things weren’t adding up. You were getting more and more perplexed.

He paused for a moment, gazing into your irises. You kept a worried demeanor as you waited patiently. The warm light of your floor lamp in the corner shined onto a side of you, cascading soft shadows of your side profile on the wooden ground.

“If I tell you, then I’d have to tell you things that I’m not proud of.” He explained softly, almost frightened that you’d want nothing to do with him. “You might hate who I’ve become.” His eyes filled with sorrow as he could feel the tears welling up again.

You sucked in your lips as you contemplated a move. Before you even made a choice, you crawled next to him before making yourself comfortable and sat, feeling the warmth he radiated. You looked up at his puzzled face. Before he could question, you motioned him to come and patted his lap.

Though stunned at your forward behavior, his eyes softened. You smiled tenderly and nodded, indicating it was okay. You did your motions once more before he placed his head on your lap, laying his body on the ground. Once his head settled, your appendages caressed through his ebony tendrils to soothe him, repeating the action over and over again.

“Taehyung, I could never hate you.” Your voice was so delicate, but held the heaviest meanings that Taehyung heard in a long time. “Though I don’t know what’s going on with you, please know that your resilience grows every day, more than yesterday, less than tomorrow. You’ll get through it.” You nodded to yourself, deep into thought. “You overcame so many things; bike riding, lighting, stage fright, endless training, close to disbanding. You’ve become successful and loved by many, Taehyung. You reached your goals! I would assume you’d be happier.” You sounded so positive, like how you were when you were younger, his little hope. But the familiar light only shattered him, becoming overshadowed by his intrusive thoughts. Only he knew it wasn’t all true. 

With shaking lips, a cry escaped from his mouth not realizing that he was holding it in. You whispered caring nothings while you brushed your fingers into his scalp. His body pumping as his shoulders trembled as the sobs continued to fall. 

It was at that moment he realized that you were probably gonna find out the side of him he has been trying to hide from you. The side that grew when you were gone in his life, the tragic shit of his life. He didn’t want to tell you, but he knew he could never lie to you. He trusted you.

He will always trust you.

“You say I’m resilient when I’m not.” He began with denial oozing at the words “You may think that my life has been nothing but glamorous with expensive name brands, International celebrity connections, and being loved by millions, from all my “success”. That my happiness is from all of that.” He chuckled, yet there was no humor in his tone. He bit his lips, quietly attempting to stop his sorrows. “But it’s not, ___.” He stabilized his breathing, feeling pressure in his chest. “I haven’t been happy for a while, and…and I don’t know what happened. I don’t know at all.”

He turned his head up so that he saw your face. Your arm hooked around the side of his face, your forearm feeling against his supple yet worn-down cheeks. Your digits were still attached to his hair. Your eyes were crystal clear, shining at him with the worrisome expression you’d been carrying since he saw you tonight. Yet you were getting confused, “What do you mean?”

The waves of sadness, the trickling of despair in his voice, and the tiredness against the hallows of his eyes and cheeks remained evident in the idol as he revealed what he has been dealing with for the years apart. His increasing anxiety and depression, therapy, the band, the scandals and cover-ups, and hurting numbness to his feelings ultimately resulted in his battle with substances and alcoholism.

Though he mentioned the overcoming of drugs and being clean for a year, the feigned chuckle in his voice indicated no other improvement to all the other shit happening to him. He still felt ashamed of what had become of him. V of BTS, Kim Taehyung, your Taehyung, your Hyungie grew up in a reckless brain of disappointment behind all that fame, fortune, and success. The continuous pressure of being this inhumane super idol representative of his national country in the public eye when really he was a human man struggling to find himself and the joy that was once in his life.

Even instances where he almost ran into mayhem from his behavior. If his members, mainly Jimin and Jungkook, or his friends didn’t find him on time, the paparazzi would have arrived to mess up his reputation and possibly his life.

Through the pain seeping out his voice and the straining tears on his face, you could tell how much it was affecting him, giving a hard time to even say it out loud. You knew he hid something, but it was nothing that you expected. Yet you knew how much he feared, how much it hurt him, having the control of his life being taken away by something he loved doing. 

You kept silent, listening to his speaking while patting his hair. Your pants were soaked by his tears. At times, he had to pause for a moment to let out longer sobs when the feeling got too much. Once it seemed his story met the end, he sat up from your lap to stare into your eyes with his dull ones. “All this love and support, yet I still feel fucking empty!” He raised his voice out of nowhere, making you flinch. Noticing, he apologized quietly through his pupils. He spoke softly this time, “It’s all too much to handle, and adding onto everyone fucking keeping their eyes on me like I’m some zoo animal or puppet to attend to their needs. I just hate it.”

Stillness met around you much longer than anticipated because honestly, you didn’t know what to say to him. You didn’t want to say something he might not want to hear. He might have heard it before and it probably didn’t work. When in doubt, sometimes silence and listening would be the best thing to do.

“___?” He called your name out so timidly. You slightly nodded, telling him you were still here with him. “You think I’m a piece of shit, right?”

You furrowed your eyebrows at his accusation. “What? No, I don’t.”

“You’re lying.”

“Taehyung, I may have been harsh to you but I would never think of you like that.”

“Why not? There’s obviously something wrong with me.” He countered, not truly believing you. “All this shit is because of me.”

“No, nothing is wrong with you.” You fought back, shaking your head. “Things happened to you, Taehyung. You’re not what those events are.”

The idol kept his sodden eyes on you, hardening by the second. However, you too had your pupils focused on him, almost as if you were fighting to win yet your stare was much more gentle and empathetic. With that, it made him believe the authenticity of the words you were saying.

He softened his look and sniffed as he looked away to gaze over at your corner lamp. “You’re the only person who isn’t blaming me for my mess.” Turning his head back to you, he sighed “Whatever I do, I just feel like shit and get blamed. I feel lost and so tired of everything.”

“It’s okay to feel lost. You should give grace to yourself. I mean, you have been in the spotlight since you were young, so the pace is slower, unfortunately.”

“But how long am I gonna be like this?” He groaned in agony. Tears are physically drained out of him, but the redness pierced through his skin. “It’s been years!”

You thinned your lips and nodded, acknowledging his grief. “You should know I can’t answer that.” Though your answer wasn’t the best, it didn’t seem like he was bothered by it at all. “I know I’ll never be in your shoes and I will never know what’s going on in your head, but I do know how strong you are, Taehyung. You’ve always been, for yourself and others.” He remained quiet. But the dimming within the dark hues of his irises suddenly sparkled faintly.  “It sucks and frustrating, and all these annoying shits because people don’t always understand you. You’re kinda hard to crack at times. Maybe that’s why it’s taking longer than usual. But those who truly know the lengths you have to take to overcome this. They will help you understand what you need to bring the goodness and happiness out of you.”

“Will I ever be happy, ___?” He spoke ever so timidly like he desperately needed an answer. 

You leaned back, resting your palms on the hard wooden floor. “They always say good things will happen especially when you least expect it. It’ll come when the time is right.”

But you’re here now and you were the best thing that ever happened to me.

Taehyung had an exhaustive look within his gloom, taking in your words. It was true, not many people understood him especially personally. Even if they did, they’d argue his logic like he was wrong for that. So at that moment, he remembered how much you were the one true person that made him be seen. Exposed and vulnerable. You saw the real Kim Taehyung.

With that, you weren’t expecting the idol to crawl towards your form to wrap his long arms around you as he rested his head in the crook of your neck. His nose gently grazed your skin, letting you inhale sharply. Luckily, he was too deep into his thoughts so you placed your palm on his back before fully reciprocating back.

“Thank you.” The vibration of his voice moved through your goosebumps. “Thank you for your words, for saving me, for everything since you came back. Thank you for being here again, Blue.”

A subtle smile ghosted on your lips at the sound of the nickname, letting him get away with it only this time. “You don’t need to thank me. I’ll be honest when I say I hate it at times, but I’ll be on your side no matter what.”

“Really? Even when I fuck up? Or when the members are mad at me?”

“Well, yeah.” He parted away to look into your eyes. “I’ve known you longer than those around us. It’s your word against theirs; I would believe you than them.”

The way you explained yourself had Taehyung’s heart skipping in a fluttering rapid manner. You spoke so honestly, it said it all on your face too. The gentleness and reassurance he knew and loved.

“Of course, it doesn’t mean I agree with you. I’ll tell your shit with the back of my hand.” Though your words were hard, you continued that tendering tone with an empathetic smile that would make all living entities’ hearts melt. But the contrast made the idol let out a deep chuckle, shaking his head while you weren’t fazed at all. “I’m only being honest.”

“As you are,” Taehyung confirmed before biting his lip. He knew how late it was, but still rejected the thought of going back to his house…with Clara if she was back. He didn’t want the members or his friends to get roped into this because that would require him to explain what happened tonight. “Do you think I could sleep over here?”

You looked taken aback at his question, cocking your brow up. “Tonight? Here?” You asked, then he nodded confidently. “A-are you sure?”

“Please? After what happened…I don’t want anyone else to know and bug me.”

“But…” You had mixed feelings about his request. Sure, you had tons of sleepovers in the past but it was in the past. There were certain things to consider with your decision, and most of it had to do with your boundaries and your hesitancy despite your now willingness to fully accept him.

“Please?” He asked again, with so much vulnerability leaking out of that single word.

But after these recent events and the fact he revealed the darkness of his life update to you, all you wanted was for him to feel safe.

“Do you wanna shower too? I have a spare towel, but I need to dig for larger-sized clothes.” You got up from the floor and started heading down the hallway to your room. “I think I brought some of my grandfather’s pajamas by mistake.” Your voice echoed through your apartment.

Though you didn’t explicitly say yes, Taehyung knew the answer, making him grin like an idiot as he watched your form disappear into the hall. He then crawled up to follow you. It took him a couple of seconds to see where your bedroom was located as it was the only door that was wide open with the lights on.

Once he entered, he noticed that the only furniture there was a neatly made blue-sheeted bed and oak dresser. The surface of the dresser was filled with books, a jewelry box, empty cans of Coca-Cola, and various miscellaneous items.

You were living a very minimalist life, he thought. When the two of you were younger, you always decorated your room. You had a multitude of plush toys on your bed given by your grandparents, his parents, other neighbors, and him too. You liked to plaster pictures of family, him, and art, and posters of your favorite artists on your wall, and displayed your rock collection that remained in one corner of your room.

Nothing in this room screamed “you.” It felt very temporary like you weren’t belonging to this place.

Taehyung then turned away from looking to spot you digging through your closet. He heard you let out an “umph” before you sat back on the floor with a red sweater and a matching-colored pair of plaid pants.

“I was right! I did bring a box of his clothes on accident!” You smiled when you looked up at the idol standing. “They were supposed to be donations, but I grabbed them by mistake and just kept them.” You raised the clothes to him. 

The idol gladly took them into his hands and grinned. “You know your grandfather is a very tall man. I don’t know if I could even fit his clothes.”

“Nonsense, I think you’re as tall as him now. I mean it has been some time.” You got up from the floor and let out a sigh.

“How is he anyways? How has he been since your grandmother passed?”

They were harmless questions that Taehyung asked as simple curiosity and wanting to know how your family was doing. But those very questions made your smile drop into a sorrowful frown.

Taehyung stared at you questionably at the shift in your mood. It seemed like your brain was gearing up, trying to process what he said. He didn’t think it was anything bad but with the slight thinning of your lips with your nostrils flaring, he felt like he said something wrong.

But before he could even defend himself, you nodded casually as you put back a small grin. “Oh yeah, he’s fine. Same strong, gentle old man. Just been busy with the farm and everything. Just thinking about him working in his old age frustrates me, you know?” You were rambling, and it happens because of three things: you got nervous, angry, or you were hiding something.

Taehyung immediately knew the choices but didn’t speak further. It has been a rough night for him and probably for you now, so he didn’t want to add more stress. “He should retire soon, or pass the farm to you or someone else.”

“Yeah…” You sighed, already wanting to change the subject. “You should go shower. Towels inside the hallway closet and I have a spare toothbrush under the bathroom sink.”

The idol nodded, “Maybe, you should go first. It’s late, and a school night. You also have longer hair than me, so it’d take longer to dry.”

Completely forgetting that tomorrow you had a morning class, you mentally cursed yourself. It was close to one in the morning, and usually around this time, you’d still study but you didn’t have the mental capacity right now. You were exhausted and needed to get as much sleep as possible.

“Are you sure?” You asked.

“Of course, Blue. I don’t mind, you’re literally housing me.” He patted your head as you stared up at him.

Your eyebrows pinched before you formed a pout. “I told you to stop calling me Blue.”

“It’s a force of habit.” He shrugged before squeezing your cheek. “Do you know how hard it is for me to call you by your name?”

“It’s not as hard, you know. A normal person calls me by my name.”

“I don’t give a fuck if I’m not normal or not. Blue will forever be your name for me.”

Though you’d normally get angry or show some type of anger, you were forcing yourself to suppress a smile at what he said. A smile that he noticed, so he didn’t take it as seriously.

“Whatever, Taehyung.” You shook your head before gathering up your clothes to shower and change.

“That’s not my name for you.” He denied.

“I’m not saying it. I don’t want to.”

“Why not?” Now he was acting a bit playful, which you didn’t mind. “It’s Blue and Hyungie! Not ___ and Taehyung!”

“You can’t be serious. We had those nicknames when we were kids. We’re nearly in our thirties!”

“Does it look like I care if we’re almost thirty?” The idol reasoned once more. “You being Blue means so much to me. You, of all people, should know how much you mean to me.” He spoke gently when he explained himself, almost sensitive to this topic.

You didn’t know how to respond at that. Though you knew how much you cared about him, you didn’t know how much it was reciprocated back. You had partially low expectations now on how much importance you were towards Taehyung’s life.

So you honestly said, “No, I’m not sure about now…”

The devastation wasn’t enough to describe his expression. A bit of concern, a lot of worry, maybe even frustration. Whatever emotion there was, Taehyung felt worse, realizing the immense strain between you and him. You didn’t trust him, you didn’t know how much he cared and meant to you, it was almost as if every memory made was completely garbage to say the least. At least that was what he thought.

Before he could even say a sound, you quickly changed the subject. “I’m gonna go shower. Just make yourself comfortable.” You said in a rush as you collected some clothes and your towel hanging on the door knob.

Taehyung stood there dumbfounded and exhausted. There was too much to think about and all he wanted to do was not think. He just got to you, he shouldn’t be greedy with this. 

-

While you showered, there wasn’t much for Taehyung to do. You lived in a rather infinite yet empty apartment. He roamed around your place about five times, so he was sure he saw everything you owned here.

Well, almost everything.

He was back in your room, eyes scanning the dresser. Items were still in the same position as he first saw them, but now he had more scrutiny, specifically for your jewelry box. It caught his eyes the most; it was worn down, graphics and patterns faded over time, yet still managed to keep its shape.

He soon realized it was the one his family gave you during a Christmas of your childhood.

The campfire that Taehyung’s father, Jitae, made blazed brightly outside in the back of their house. You, your grandparents, and his family surrounded the fire, taking in the warmth while being covered in jackets and snuggled in thick blankets provided by his mother.

While his siblings, with the help of his grandmother and father, were making s’mores and roasted marshmallows, you and Taehyung shared a blanket and sat in a large woven chair as he wrapped his skinny limbs around you for extra warmth and comfort. It was a relaxing Christmas Eve, and both families wanted to celebrate together because the more, the merrier. The bond was always strong between each other so it was only fair to do so with one another.

“Would you kids like to open one present before Christmas?” Taehyung’s mom, Miseon, asked with a smile. She already had two gifts while your grandmother had the other two.

The obvious answer was saying yes with immense joy in our tones. So when the two women distributed the presents, greedy hands from the Kim siblings snatched them right away. You, on the other hand, looked at his mom curiously when she gave you one. 

“___, this is from us to you,” Miseon informed. “Gifts are never enough to show how much we truly love and care for you, dear. You’ve always been a great blessing to us.”

“HEY!” Sungyeon, the youngest of three, pouted. “That’s not fair!”

“Sungie, don’t be selfish.” Their mom scolded gently but her face showed all the strictness, which ultimately shut him up, and continued opening his toy. Then looked back at you with a more calmer and happier expression. “We hope you like it.”

Smiling, you proceeded to unbox your present. Unlike the others, the way you opened gifts was done in a very neat way. Peeling off the tapes on the sides, carefully slicing the wrapping paper, and sliding it off with precision.

Meanwhile, Taehyung shredded the paper.

You opened the lid which ultimately made you confused. You took it out and observed the outside of it. It was another box, yes, but it was light blue with gold accents around the surface, edges were also gold but felt like metal. The edges were sharp and crisped. Some of the gold engraved your initials on the top of the lid. It even smelled nice too.

You found the opening latch, which also had the option to put an additional lock on it. When you unlocked it, the top popped open surprising you in the process. Nevertheless, you were in awe. There were what appeared to be velvet containers and organizers within the box with a fairly decent mirror. But the thing that made you fall in love was the small ballerina pirouetting slowly as a toy box jingle of Swan Lake played.

“It’s a jewelry box,” Miseon explained to your confused ten-year-old self. “You can put your necklaces, rings, and bracelets in here for safekeeping. I know there’s that necklace your parents gave you and the bracelets you’ve been making.” You nodded as you unconsciously grabbed onto the flower pendant you still used and never took off. “You can put them in here, or any sentimental items you have.”

“Thank you, auntie! I love it.” You cheesed at the box. Anything they gave you, you always took it with pride and honor. Your grandparents watched with smiles as you touched and caressed your jewelry box. Taehyung even stopped to look at you and admire your gift, his present in his lap was long forgotten.

“You know ___, remember you can also call me mom.” Miseon reminded you. A while back, his parents asked permission from your grandparents if it was okay. Because you lost your parents at such a young age and the way you seamlessly meshed into their family, they both wanted to be there to support and love you as their own. Your grandparents were fine with it, knowing the trust that has been built through the years but it was only the matter if you’d accepted them.

“And call me dad.” Jitae chimed in as he sat on the edge next to you. You pursed your lips before nodding quietly, still not giving them a clear answer to their offer.

 “Why do you want ___ to call you that?” Sungyeon asked with a hit of jealousy. “You’re our mom and dad, not hers!”

Then Eunjeong slapped the back of her younger brother’s head, making him wince in pain. “You dummy, don’t be mean! ___ doesn’t have parents, that’s why!” She meant well, but all the adults and Taehyung gasped, knowing how sensitive you were about the mentioning of your parents.

Taehyung slithered his arms around you before pulling you back into his body before you could even react, “Both of you, be quiet! I told you not to talk about that! Blue is sensitive, you know!”

“Now children, calm down.” Your grandmother stepped in, wanting to ease the tension between the angered eldest and the now frightened younger two. “Be careful with your words because they can hurt others. ___ does have parents, they’re just not here anymore. She knows that. And second—”

“It’s okay, grandma.” You interrupted your grandmother, making everyone crane their heads at you. You finally spoke after being silent, feeling it was right to do so. “Yeah, I know my parents are gone…I still miss them.”

“Blue, it’s okay. Cry it out.” Taehyung cooed, tightening his grip on you but his coddling made you laugh and shake your head before parting away from him.

“Hyungie, I’m not sad about it as much.” You reassured. “Besides, I have a family here!” You opened your arms, showcasing to those around you. “I have my grandparents…siblings…a best friend…” You turned to face his parents, showing all the love you had for them in your eyes. “Parents?” You said it so softly but it was enough for both of his parents to have tears in their eyes.

You got up from the chair to stand in front of Miseon and looked up at her. “I have a mom, but…you can also be my mom too.” You craned your head over to Jitae. “And you can also be my dad too!”

Your reveal made his parents rush to hug you with a strong yet welcoming embrace. You were squished between the two but felt the love they emitted.

Though you barely had time with your actual parents, you still held and thought of them very highly. You remembered what they did with you, how much love they had for you, and giving you what you wanted and needed. But the memories were fading as you grew older, the distance between them and you, their faces were only shown in pictures. It was harder since they weren’t physically here anymore.

You were finally willing to bring them in, willing for them to be part of your life from now on.

Sungyeon was about to protest but Eunjeong nudged him to be quiet to not ruin the beautiful moment. 

Taehyung smiled at the innocent memory. You were always well loved by his family, his parents treating you as if you were their child and even taking care of you when your grandparents were busy. In some ways, his parents wanted you to be part of the Kim family.

His siblings seemed to love you more than they did with him, which never bothered Taehyung at all since he got to see that bright smile on your face.

Even after the falling, his parents or siblings would mention you from time to time, wondering if you were ever okay and doing well for yourself. They tried their best to contact you, but it seemed that you were incognito and keeping your distance. It hurt both ends, but at least they wanted the best for one another. You were also a memory for them since it’s been years since they last saw you or your grandparents.

Mindlessly, Taehyung opened the box which revealed pouches of earrings and necklaces and a row of rings. You know the typical items inside a jewelry box.

However, what caught his eye was a handmade craft he didn’t think he’d ever see again. 

It was your friendship bracelet, also worn down, whithering over time, yet still intact. Despite a few chips, scratches, bumps, and a little piece of your initial charm missing, everything was there! He couldn’t believe that you still kept yours all this time. He never thought about you keeping yours, he assumed it was gone forever. But this was incredible for him.

Especially knowing that he too kept his.

It was kept in a box filled with childhood memorabilia inside his closet including the pictures of you and him through the years. Gifts, notes, letters, everything that he could bring to Seoul. During his training days, while everyone was asleep, he would read them late at night when he felt himself missing you.

Which was every day.

But after your friendship was over, Taehyung hid all those physical memories from everyone including himself. Though feeling so guilty and ashamed of his explosive younger self, he knew deep down he didn’t have the heart to throw away the box of you. Just the thought of it was a complete absurdity. He refused to erase anything of you.

Even now.

He had a sudden urge to open the box immediately once he gets home, without Clara of course. If she didn’t know shit about you, then she definitely won’t know about that box.

-

After washing up and getting ready for bed, the two of you were in pajamas. Taehyung sat on your bed, scrolling away on his phone. You went back to your closet, retrieving some thicker blankets. He heard ruffling before looking up to watch you retrieve one of the pillows on your mattress. You didn’t think much about giving up your bed for him, so you were getting ready to leave the bedroom before he stopped you.

“What are you doing?” He questioned, getting off of the bed to stand.

You stopped your track, giving him a confusing expression. “What?”

“Where are you going with that?” He worryingly nodded toward what you were carrying.

“Uhh, going to the living to make my bed?”

“Wha—___! Don’t do that.”

“Why not? I need to sleep somewhere.” You weren’t affected by this decision, but Taehyung begged to differ.

“Yeah, that’s why there’s your bed right here.” He said matter-of-a-factly.

“You’re the guest, Taehyung. You need to be comfortable.”

“I don’t feel comfortable with you sleeping outside of the bedroom.” He reasoned softly. “No offense, ___, but your living room looks lonely…”

You snorted, “I think you’ve mistaken lonely for poor.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“I’m teasing, Taehyung.” You rolled your eyes as you reassured him but he continued to look stooped and pouty. You decided to leave him be to walk your way to the living room. But before you can do so, Taehyung jogged up to you and took the blankets out of your hands. “It’s fine, I got th—wait, you’re going the wrong way!”

Carrying the fabrics, he settled them down on the bed. You followed behind and tried to get them back but he lightly pushed your face away. You were taken aback as you glared at him, having the urge to kick his shin but you held back.

“Don’t sleep in the living room. Stay here, I’ll sleep out there.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m gonna say no.” You ruthlessly shut him down.

“___!”

“No, Taehyung, you’re not sleeping out there. It’s rude for me to give you the floor, especially after your panic attack. I need you to feel cozy and secure.” You explained. “Do you still have trouble sleeping at night after an episode?”

“Y-yeah, but—”

“Exactly, so just take the bed. It’s already late, and I have class tomorrow. I don’t want to argue.”

Taehyung bit down on his lips, wanting to counter back. But he knew you were right. He always had trouble sleeping after his panic attacks. Even his doctor told him he needed to be as comfortable and relaxed as possible.

But the last time he felt that away after an episode was sleeping with Jimin, and the last other person to do that for him was you. And with you, it’s different.

“Fine, I’ll take the bed.” He ultimately gave in, which satisfied you. But then he said, “But if I need to be comfortable, then I don’t want you to stay in the living room. I’ll feel unsettled knowing you’re out there.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Why?”

“I just am! I feel bad too, you’re uncomfortable in your apartment.”

“I’m not, I actually sleep on the floor from time to time, intentionally and unintentionally because I pass out after studying.” You simply said, but you don’t seem to get his point.

“Don’t sleep in the living room then.” He pressed onto you.

“Then where am I going to sleep? The bathroom?”

“Here.”

“What do you mean here?” You further inquired, wary of what he meant.

“I mean here.” He pointed down, motioning to the room. “You can sleep on the bed with me too…” Your eyes bulged out of the sockets, making him realize what he said. “Come on, I didn’t mean it like that! Just sleep! Just sleep.”

“Taehyung…”

“You don’t need to sleep on the bed, it was just a suggestion. I swear! Want you to be comfortable too.” He defended himself. “If not, at least sleep here on the floor.”

“Do you think that I would be comfortable sleeping here? What if I’m not? Even after you said that.”

Taehyung’s mouth opened then closed, struggling to gather his words. He didn’t think about that, and now he felt like an asshole wanting what he said. “D-do you feel uncomfortable at what I said? I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention. Really, I—Good night then. Sorry again.”

“Don’t be sorry, Taehyung. I get what you mean, and I’m not uncomfortable.” You promised, lightly smiling. “I don’t mind but I didn’t want to suggest it.”

“How come?”

“Are you really going to ask me that?” You rolled your eyes, thinking he wasn’t being serious. But when he stared curiously at you, he didn’t understand what you meant.

Today was too long for you. However, though you were exhausted, your mind was wide awake, recapturing all that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. That also included what went through your head while you were away from him.

You didn’t want to have this conversation yet, but maybe this will make him understand how you feel and your boundaries. That way you’d feel a little lighter and not have to worry about it from now on. “Taehyung.”

“Hmm.”

You wanted to be direct, and as clear as possible. “Were you really trying to kiss me?” More forward than that. “Actually, scratch that. Why were you going to kiss me?”

Okay, he didn’t expect that to come out of your mouth, especially now. Yet he knew exactly what you were talking about. The question now was what was he going to say? How was he going to respond?

He thought long and hard as you anticipated his answer. “Uhh, I don’t know.”

You blinked, “you don’t know?”

“I…I don’t know, ___, or at least I don’t know how to put it into words.” He shook his head at himself, gathering his feelings. “I guess I was… at the moment? Look, ___, being with you always made me feel right. It reminded me of how we were. I’d hold you, kiss your forehead, temple, cheek, anywhere really.”

“So you were wanting to be like old times?” You wondered, still puzzled.

“Kinda? Well, now you know the shit I’m in, so hanging out with you felt like going back in time when nothing was like this. I felt so alive, and safe. Like I wasn’t V, but Kim Taehyung.”

That still didn’t answer your question, especially when you wanted to say that he was going for your lips than your cheek or head. It didn’t matter as much right now because he said something else that sparked your interest. “Our past was innocent and young, we didn’t know anything! That’s why it was like that and unfortunately, Taehyung, we’re older. Our younger selves would have never known what was happening with us and between us. We can’t sink into the sand of our memories. That’s how people aren’t able to move on.”

“I know, but all I want is to feel happy again and the only times I truly felt it was when I was younger.” He sounded like he was begging, but you didn’t know to who.

“How do you suppose to do that then? You can’t go back in time and relive your prepubescent self.”

He chuckled lowly, “I can’t go back, but I can make new memories. Hopefully, they’re happier and less traumatizing.” 

“I do want you to have that too. Don’t think about happy memories, focus on happy experiences in the present.”

“Maybe, especially when you’re back.” He shrugged.

“Don’t say stuff like that.” You sighed, not wanting to hear that.

“I know, but knowing how you were in my past when I was enjoying life, helps to hope for those “joyful” experiences.”

You mumbled incoherent sounds before grabbing the blankets to prepare your makeshift futon next to the bed. Slumber was slowly getting to you and you wanted to mentally cry at the time—close to three in the morning and you had to wake up at six to get ready for your 8 AM class, then work. Yup, the day was nearing. Should you skip it? No, that would be a waste on your loans.

As you mentally prepared yourself for the morning, Taehyung got into the covers and cuddled with the single pillow he had for the night. His head could sleep without it.

He watched you place the layers of blankets down on the floor. As he did so, he recapped what you both discussed earlier. Now it was his turn to ask some questions, but he forgot to do something first.

“I’m sorry, ___.”

You finished the last layer before you turned, spotting him laying on his side holding a pillow. He too had the face of defeat, but yet he continued when you kept your silence.

“I’m sorry that I tried to kiss you. It wasn’t my intention to, I don’t know what came over me. Nonetheless, it still happened and it got you angry.” He explained, cautiously and neatly. “I also want you to know how much I value you and our relationship. I never want to hurt you. Even get you angry, but that always happens.” You nodded calmly, taking it all in. “I still want your friendship. I’ll do what it takes. Please don’t give up on us like that. I’m stupid, but I’ve been like that and I’m trying.”

Taehyung waited fearfully for your response. You appeared composed and unaffected, but that was probably because you were so tired to feel any rigorous emotions right now. You just wanted to go to bed, but you knew you needed to say something.

You closed your eyes and exhaled before peeling them open, “Taehyung…if I say yes, there need to be boundaries.” You finally replied.

His face scrunched at your request. “Like what? We’ve never had something like that before.”

“Well, it’s now. Don’t think about the past right now.” You shook your head. “We’re older, so there should be respectful walls between us.”

Taehyung nodded slowly, understanding your needs. “I’ll be respectful. I’m sorry again for trying to do that.”

“As long as it never happens again, and besides you have Clara, remember?” You mentioned, putting a distasteful expression on him. “You don’t wanna ruin your relationship over someone like me. Don’t wanna follow that same route again.”

Your words piqued his interest, “Again? What do you mean again?”

Fuck, you slipped that out so casually, exposing yourself in front of him like that. “Huh, oh, nothing. I…yeah, nothing.”

“___, it doesn’t sound like nothing,” Taehyung said, maneuvering himself to get a good look at you. He rested his elbows on the mattress, cupping his cheeks. He observed your avoidance, eyes roaming everywhere else instead of him. “___, what happened?” He had to think again. “If you’re uncomfortable, you don’t need to tell me. I’m sorry if I’m overstepping.”

You sighed, shaking your head. You finally gazed at him, his stare so attentive towards you. “You’re not overstepping…it’s just…I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Try your best. Say it ugly if you have to.”

“When you tried to kiss me or something, I got triggered.” You tried to find the words, biting your lips as you thought about how to approach this. “I was…scarred in the past.”

Furrowing his eyebrows together, Taehyung questioned. “What do you mean? What happened? Were you okay?”

“It’s done and over, but it still makes me unsettled.” You explained. Taehyung waited patiently for you to continue. Though he stared in silence, his aura encouraged you to be vulnerable in front of him…like the old times when he made you feel safe and sound as you used to tell him everything.

Well, not everything.

“It was back in undergrad, but uhhh, when I was a freshman, I dated an upperclassman.” You exposed yourself. This was something you hated thinking and talking about, but it was also something that needed to be clear and said, especially to Taehyung.

You dated someone?? That surprised him. Not saying he never expected you to date, it just surprised him that you actually dated someone. He had so many questions—who was he? What did he look like? What was he like? Did he ever savor your glory? Did he ever laugh the way he did? Was he ever part of your story, one that Taehyung gave up on long ago? Did he fill in his part?

Then again, you said you were scarred, so that fueled some fire within him, getting irrationally upset about this unknown dude. 

But he stopped himself and asked, “Wait, you did?”

You nodded calmly as opposed to his shocked yet steady demeanor. “He was a TA for a class. I asked for help, and it happened. He was sweet, nice to me, and brought me flowers a couple of times. Guess you can say he was my first boyfriend, well, a lot of my firsts…”

Taehyung frowned, his mouth curling down deeply. There were visions in his head he wanted to push away. “So what happened?”

“What he didn’t tell me was that he had a girlfriend.”

“Wait, so he cheated on you?!”

“No, he cheated on her with me.” You said flatly, but your heart squeezed from the visceral memory. You breathed in and out carefully, hoping you weren’t going to cry over something stupid years ago. You shouldn’t cry over that man. “I was the other woman, yet I did not know of it for like almost an entire year. No one even told me, so who knows if others knew this whole time.” Your fists clenched as you pulled your legs to your chest. “Eventually, she and I found out but she put all the blame on me and spread a rumor around campus that I was a home wrecker. They broke up, but I guess my reputation got destroyed. Or even worsen? I didn’t have any true friends even before that. Civil roommates, but that was it. Everyone knew me as the home wrecker so…”

You were also tired of crying about that horrific past, yet it still haunted you. When it happened, it felt like everything was your fault. What was worse was that you had no support system anymore. Everything you did, through college and other hardships, you felt incredibly alone and lonely. Those years truly felt the lowest for you.

The tears escaped without your permission, but you didn’t bother wiping them away because if you did, you’d acknowledge you were crying. But Taehyung wasn’t going to lay there and do nothing, so he scooted off the bed and sat next to your makeshift futon. He pulled you into him as you sniffled and the streams continued down your cheeks, also staining his shirt. He rubbed your back and wiped the tears for you.

“Taehyung, I promise this isn’t meant to guilt you but I wished you were still there for me.” Your lips quivered, breaking both of your hearts at your sad confession. “Everyone hated me. It was so hard without my best friend.”

Yet Taehyung felt the guilt eating him alive. He left you alone, with no one by your side to protect you. He wished he could cry because seeing you in this state would leave him sobbing like a baby, but it seemed the tears and overwhelming events restrained him from doing so. He hated seeing his Blue sad.

“I’m so sorry again. I still feel like shit about what happened.” He said, holding you tighter in his arms.

“It’s whatever already.” You sniffed, letting it go as it was the least of your concerns at this point. You quietly apologized for ruining his sleepwear, but he didn’t care. “It did hurt, but I’m sure you had your reasons.”

He did have his reasons, but it wasn’t the time to say so he nodded. “That’s horrible though, what you experienced. I’m sorry you had to go through with that.”

“I was a stupid teenager who didn’t know any better,” You reasoned. “I think I was too focused on the fact that someone actually liked and wanted to be with me. It was like a miracle.” You lightly joked at the end, but Taehyung took it seriously.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Taehyung, I wasn’t necessarily a catch, even back in Geochang.” You told him. “I mean my first kiss was even made into a joke. In general, I never had someone who truly loved me in that sense.” He stayed silent as he looked at your reddened face. You didn’t bother to notice his expression directed at you, as you went on. “When I was with him, it felt exciting at first. Only now I realized how much I kept saying yes to him because I thought he loved me and I didn’t want to make him upset.”

“Why?”

Your teary eyes met his hardened ones before you simply answered, “If I made him upset, then he’d leave me.”

The air grew slightly thick from your response. It was unintentional, yet intentional. You’ve said so much, yet so little. Taehyung realized now that there was much more you haven’t spoken about the in-between gap. While he spoke up, you chose to stay silent. Yet everything that has happened without him, like this experience, made a clear effect on you, and somehow also bit him in the ass.

He wanted to stir the conversation slightly, otherwise, the night will become light in no time. “You were still in Geochang, right?” You nodded tiredly. “Who was this fucking son of a bitch? Do you remember his name?”

“Kim Minjae.”

“Wait, I know that fucker. We were on the same soccer team. I’m gonna find him and bea—”

His response made you chuckle softly, patting his head in delight. Your smile eased his temper, despite biting his tongue. “Taehyung, it’s okay. You don’t need to do that because he got a teacher pregnant and is now working as a fisherman to pay his child support. I think he knows what he’s done.” The universe was on your side this time. You also remembered being flabbergasted but lowkey satisfied when that drama spread from the college to the entire town of Geochang. It was not pretty at all, but it got your name out of everyone’s mouth.

“Still, you were all alone and you went through that unnecessary shit.”

“Yes, but I overcame it. Well, not really. You just saw me cry over something that happened when I was 18. But my skin and heart are tougher, harder to break through.”

“Nah, I could poke you and know that you’re the biggest softie I know.” He cooed, causing you to roll your eyes but grin lightly. 

“Anyways, I’m saying this because though we were friends again, we shouldn’t be so affectionate with each other.” You revealed. Though his touch comforted you, you pulled and moved away from him, giving some space in between.

But Taehyung appeared insulted and hurt. “Why? That’s how we always were.”

“Yes, but I’m sure no one else would understand.” You countered, scratching your neck. “Your members, friends, Clara, might get the wrong idea, and…I don’t wanna end up in that position again. Even though nothing’s happening between us and I’m sure your actions mean well, but for my sake. I-I’m scared.”

Was it asking for a lot? Maybe. But you needed to get it out of you. This may be a sudden realization as to why you weren’t as sure about bringing Taehyung back into your life. You’ve seen those articles and comments media and some fans put out for the world to see. People misinterpreted things all the time, or worse, warped them as bait to cause drama.

Though Taehyung understood what you meant, that didn’t mean he liked hearing it. He always took pride in your bond with him, something that no one ever quite understood and instead led to various assumptions. Yet most of the time didn’t bother to care and went along with your day.

Boundaries were never discussed, but that was only because they never existed between the two of you! Although if the memories weren’t mistaken, oftentimes, there were restrictions. 

But this was slightly new territory for you and Taehyung. A rather comfortably uncomfortable situation. Nevertheless, it needed to happen to make this work for your strained relationship.

Taehyung sighed before nodding in agreement, “Okay, for you. But can I at least hug you?”

“Sure.” You shrugged. “Friends hug.”

“How about sleeping on the bed?”

“Taehyung, that’s pushing it.” You said sternly, suppressing the light grin on your face. Taehyung always did reason with you.

“Hey, I slept on the bed with my members and friends!” He argued back. “We even cuddled with each other.”

“Taehyung, I’m serious.” You groaned, raising your voice.

Taehyung laughed a hefty one out loud, almost sounding forced which frightened your irritable and tired state. You stared with eyes wide bewildering.  “I’m sorry, but I’m getting tired of you calling me Taehyung.” He brought this up once again.

You raised an eyebrow and said, “It’s your name!” Seriously, why was he taking this so seriously? It was getting quite bothersome.

“But you call me Hyungie.” Taehyung sounded as if he was correcting you condescendingly. You were about to throw tired hands, but he continued. “And you’re my Blue. Look I know I keep bringing this up and you’re probably annoyed, but it shows the importance to me. You’re important to me! More than you know, and not doing it creates distance from us, which makes it so weird. I’ll try but I’m not used to it. I know you don’t trust me either, hell, I don’t trust me either but please have faith in me. Compromise with me!”

“Taehyung, we talked about this. I-I’m not ready for that, please understand. Little by little.” You wanted this to be over, at least for the night. It was late and you needed to get up early. “I’m trying, okay? I want to trust you, but again, there needs to be boundaries. I’m not doing this as a punishment.”

“But—”

“If it must happen, fucking just call me Blue. But I won’t call it back. No, absolutely not. I can’t.” You stood your stance, shaking your head. It was too much for you. “That’s my compromise and that’s final.”

The draining stare you offered him with no budge had him fear you slightly. You were always a scary one especially when you get upset with him. It was rare, well before, but it triggered him to stop his whining and give in to what you voiced out. It had to do for now…

“Okay, that’s fine…” He sighed as he dramatically turned his head to the side to stare at your dresser, pouting like a child. He wasn’t completely satisfied, but this was what he could get. Yet the faint grin plastered on lets him side-eye you in glee. “…Blue.”

You rolled your eyes once more before pushing him off your futon. He laughed as he crawled back into bed. “Okay, that’s settled so let’s go to sleep. I’m tired, I have to wake up early.”

“Are you sure about sleeping on the floor? The other side of the bed sure feels—”

“Taehyung, for the last time and I’m not fucking repeating myself, I’ll be fine sleeping down here. Take all the bed space or don’t, I don’t give a rat’s ass right now.” You snapped back, throwing whatever he had to “convince” you out the window. “Good night, okay? If you still have trouble sleeping, you can have my pillow too.” You grabbed your cushion and handed it to him.

“No, thank you. I need you to be comfy too.” Taehyung quickly denied it before getting into his sheets and hugging his pillow. “This is more than enough. Thank you for everything again. Thank you for opening up to me too.”

“You’re welcome.” You yawned widely as you scratched your head. “No problem with that…It was nice letting it out. Haven’t talked about that in a while. Hope tonight wasn’t that intense for you.”

“I’ve had worse nights.” He said lightly. “But man, Blue, no offense you probably have bad taste men.” He joked; the playful gleam sparked through his reddened eyes as he finally laid his back on the mattress.

“Don’t even talk about that.” You groaned, knowing he was probably right. You too laid down and were about to go to bed. “Don’t make fun of me right now, I’m sensitive.”

“Okay, I won’t. I promise.” He grinned, yet you stuck your tongue out to him. “Again, I’m sorry you had a bad first love.”

Now it was your turn to laugh forcibly to which Taehyung grew confused. “Luckily for me, he wasn’t my first love, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t be caught dead with that assumption.” You scoffed as you closed your eyes. Sleep came sooner than imagined that you didn’t realize what you said, too drowsy to notice.

Suddenly Taehyung was energized again, curious about your statement. “Really? But you said you had so many firsts with him.”

“Dates, relationship, sex, heartbreak,” You mumbled languidly, listing while pondering the thought. “First love wasn’t on the list.”

“Then you had a first love?” He questioned.

You only let a groggy noise, but it confirmed his inquiry.

“T-then who was your first love?” For an odd reason, Taehyung felt nervous asking this. Despite being best friends, the two of you never discussed each other’s love lives. Well, there wasn’t any on both sides, to begin with. He knew about your first kiss before and first boyfriend just now, but never knew anything about this. Maybe it was someone within the ten years apart? But you would have mentioned it, right?

Judging by the timeline of this boyfriend, it was when you first entered college so you were still young and most likely eighteen. That could mean your first love was way before then. If he analyzed his thoughts deeply and if the timeline was correct, you might have loved someone when he was still around.

Then the question now was who?

But no answer came from the other end.

When he turned his head, he found you knocked out spreading arms with long strands all over your face. He figured how tired you were, having done physical, emotional, and mental labor through the whole day so he lets it be.

His hand reached out to push back your hair away from your face, revealing your soft and relaxed expression. Your nose scrunched at the touch, but back to its resting state. He watched your chest rise slowly, lips slightly apart with the low sounds of your snoring escaping your mouth. Yeah, you were definitely gone.

He grinned to himself before saying, “Good night, Blue.” His back ultimately pressed down to the fabric as closed his eyes. Once shut, he realized how badly he too needed to rest.

Despite that, the question remained in his head and led to his dreams.

-

Though rushing this morning, you carefully placed the delicious breakfast plate on the kitchen counter. You woke up a little earlier than usual so you could rush down to the nearest convenience store to get some breakfast for yourself and the sleeping Taehyung.

Well, more so for him. A protein shake and breakfast bar usually sufficed for you. After an intensive night, you assumed he needed some sort of joy in the morning, and what better way than to cook him chocolate chip waffles and cut strawberries on the side?

You never cooked this much even for yourself, but you weren’t complaining. You thought of this as a warming gesture and an apology for leaving him alone in your apartment. Which by the way, you were about to miss your bus ride if you didn’t leave within the next ten minutes.

You placed a metal food net over the dish, then wrote a little note for him and placed it under the cover. You went back to your bedroom to retrieve your backpack and textbook but also noticed Taehyung sprawled out like a starfish on your bed. He held a pillow to his side while the other one was under his head and was placed by you when you woke up. You also added another layered blanket for him. You spotted his signature pout resting on him with his curled strands falling on his forehead.

The sight of his slumber had you smile pleasantly, relieved that he slept soundly and comfortably the night through. Granted, a little over four hours have passed since the two of you snoozed away but you still considered it a win.

He’ll manage around your living spaces without you and would most likely leave an hour or two after. You didn’t have much to entertain him here. You also won’t come back until late in the nighttime after your shift anyway, so who knows when will be the next time you’ll see each other?

But you hoped that it wouldn’t be as long as before.

-

Taehyung woke up in an empty apartment. Your makeshift futon had been folded and tucked in the corner near the closet. This morning was rather cold. He noticed one of the blankets you used on top of him and your pillow under his head. You did all of that without even waking him; though he was too deep in sleep to even hear you.

Once he brushed his teeth and splashed his face with some cold water, he walked towards the kitchen. Sunlight peaked through your window and reflected over the whiteness of your walls and somewhat empty apartment.

As he scoured around, he finally spotted a metal cover on the kitchen counter. He went over to pull it up, revealing the waffles with melted whipped cream and strawberries. Immediately, his mouth watered at the sight. He didn’t know how long it had been out, but he didn’t care any less. It was close to noon and he needed something to eat.

He then saw a note next to the plate. Picking it up, he read—“Sorry for leaving you here alone! I didn’t want to wake you. I have early classes and then I’m going to work. I won’t see you today (unless you stop by at the shop). Please enjoy your breakfast and I’ll see you soon! :) P.S. Feel better too <3<3!”

A smile crept up on his face, chest warming up at your kind gesture. He appreciated that in you. You probably had a busy morning, which surprised him that you had the time to make this.

Nonetheless, he devoured his breakfast, a little cold and mushy but the taste surpassed expectations. While he savored the last of the sliced fruit, he noticed all these unread messages, missed calls, and voicemails from Clara. He grimaced deeply. All her messages were repeated lines of “Where tf are you?” “Why aren’t you picking up?” “Who are you with? Seojoon oppa??” “I called Seojoon oppa and he says you’re not with him. Tae, where are you?!?!? And who??” “You shouldn’t have gone without me knowing!” and “Tae, I swear to God if you don’t pick up, I’m calling the police.” The last one typically held no threat because he knew she threw that in a bunch of that through the years. 

He didn’t even bother going through voicemails because they’ll be repetitive and hearing her whining voice was not something he wanted to hear. Everything was so peaceful and relaxed for him up until now. Ugh, he was frustrated, his mood ruined by her constant bickering and overpowering control.

Right there, he decided to ignore it all. Knowing her, she was either working or probably at their shared house waiting viciously for him to come back home. Thus the idol decided to not go home and headed over to Seojoon’s.

The younger man knew his older friend had a day off—his Wooga Squad had a shared calendar to know their schedules. What better way to spend his day than to bother Seojoon.

-

“Bro, where the fuck were you last night?” Seojoon questioned as he plotted on his couch with Taehyung spread comfortably on the side of him, both had strawberry and banana smoothies on hand provided by the idol. “Clara called me like five times in panic wondering where you were.”

Taehyung sipped on his drink quietly and casually before rolling his eyes. “It seems she always runs to you when she needs help trying to find me.”

Seojoon kept a glare at his friend, shaking his head. “Duh, because you fucking disappear like Houdini.” He gulped his smoothie before proceeding. “Also I guess she’s more comfortable with me than the others.” He referred to Wooshik, Hyungsik, Sunghwan, and Joohyuk.

The idol eyed his friend, hardening his bothered stare. “Right…she’s not as close with them, I guess.”

“So are you gonna tell me where you went?” The actor settled his drink on the coaster on his coffee table. “How about this? Did anyone else know where you were?”

Taehyung bit his lip, contemplating if he should tell him. His panic attacks weren’t a secret. He was open enough to tell his friends about his experience episodes but none of them ever were there to see it happening. But the idol might as well tell it, right?  

“Yeah, I was with ___ last night.”

Seojoon cocked an eyebrow as a wave of questions flooded his brain. But he only asked, “What happened?” He didn’t want to say beyond what he thought.

“Well, we made up.” Taehyung leaned forward, hunched over as he looked at his smoothie. “Uhh, there was more to it.”

“How so?”

“Last night, I got, uh, hammered.” The idol began. “To the point where I got into a fight.”

“Oh my God, Taehyung! Are you okay?” Concern washed Seojoon’s face as he scanned through his friend’s features, then he saw the bruising of his knuckles. “You don’t look too bad, but still. You broke your streak, you were doing so well. How did it happen?”

“Same thing on how most of my fights happen,” Taehyung huffed.

“What led you to that then?”

“I don’t know…I was really sad and hurt, and I hated what was happening with me and ___.”

“But you said you made up.”

“Yeah, after she found me knocking three dudes down, then I threw up and had a fucking panic attack.” The younger man sighed, using his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “It was the worse one yet.”

“Oh, Tae.” Seojoon’s voice softened. “Did you manage?”

“More than manage because she was able to help me get back down.” The idol also settled his drink down before meeting his friend’s eyes. “I was still scared, so I didn’t wanna go back home and asked her if I could stay the night.”

Seojoon nodded softly, going into deep thought. “Anything else?”

“I told ___ about my shitty life, literally everything.” Well, almost everything. “If I wanted her to still be in my life, I didn’t want to hide that part, or whole, of me. ”

“How’d she take it?”

“Pretty well, I guess. She opened up to me too.”

“Well, that’s good…” The actor did his best by being supportive, but he was also a worried friend. “Did you tell Clara this? She’s probably worried sick.”

“No,” He scoffed. “Pissed me off with all her calls and text.”

“Taehyung, you know she’s concerned for you. Even if she’s gonna be more in distress when you tell her about your panic attack, she’ll understand.” Seojoon reasoned.

“No, she won’t.” Taehyung disagreed. “Because all she’ll ask was where I was, and if I tell her I was with ___, she’s gonna flip shit. She can’t even handle my panic attacks, so in my head, it’s like what’s the point?”

“Why are you making this difficult?” The older man complained yet it was said in a collected way that Taehyung never deflected on yet.

“Because she’s difficult and will never understand my perspective.” 

“Aren’t couples supposed to have good communication? What’s wrong?”

His relationship never had the greatest communication, he couldn’t lie about that. But for the past year, it has gotten worse despite the somewhat progress Taehyung achieved. Her presence was getting too much for him. It overwhelmed all aspects of his being. He never felt like he had a rest from it. Something always happened and either side, mainly him, got drained.

He needed to get away.

Suddenly Taehyung had an idea, disregarding Seojoon’s question. “Hyung, can I ask you a favor or two?”

-

“So you never bothered to answer my calls, had me anxious, then you fucking come home after disappearing for almost an entire day with no clear explanation, and now you’re telling me this?”

Taehyung’s jaw clenched, pushing down what he wanted to yell as he continued to pack his luggage. “Fine, you want an explanation—I had a panic attack and I didn’t want to be home, so I rested at Seojoon’s house.”

Clara’s anger diminished went she heard those words. She started looking at him pitifully, which Taehyung never wanted from her. “Oh, Ta—”

“Save it.” He interrupted as he finished packing his clothes. “While being away, I realized that I need space.”

“W-what do you mean?”

He breathed out annoyed as he threw back his head to calm himself. “When I have panic attacks, you don’t know how to deal with them or even help me properly. You just fucking leave while I’m over there alone.”

“W-w-well, I want to but you told me to just leave you alone!” Clara tried to defend herself.

“Because saying the words ‘calm down’ and ‘relax’ to a distressed and anxious person is not helpful. Better to be alone than to hear that crap.” Taehyung responded as he left the bedroom to grab his beauty products from the bathroom, but not without Clara following his tail. “Besides the point, I realized something or I’ve been realizing.”

“What?”

“I know I’m not the best communicator, but I’m getting sick and tired of you breathing down my neck. If I don’t even talk to you for like an hour, I get hit with two hundred calls from you. You were never one to be needy. Why now?” His voice was stable and direct like he had practiced. He grabbed his items, then went back to the room.

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?” Clara scoffed as she walked behind him.

“Well, it feels like it.” He muttered as he put his products into pouches. “I can’t do anything without you watching my every move. I feel like I can’t be me right now, especially in my home.”

“So what then? Is that all that you’re going to say?”

“No, like I said I need space, which is why I need time away from you.” Once he had everything, he zipped up his luggage and pulled it to stand up. “I’m going to stay with Seojoon Hyung for a while. I need this.”

He then remembered something. He rushed to his closet and rummaged through his clothes and shoes before discovering his box filled with old memories. He quickly uncovered the lid and searched through many memorabilia including the pictures of the members and you. Finally, he found what he was looking for—his friendship bracelet.

Old, scruffed, but surprisingly, in pretty good condition where Taehyung puts in on and admired the handmade accessory for a while before he took a couple of childhood pictures of you and him for the road. He sneaked them in his pants pocket, then went back to his baggage.

Meanwhile, Clara was too busy with her feelings and thoughts to even question what Taehyung was doing. “Are you breaking up with me?” She asked in a whisper. “Please don’t. We can make this work. We—”

“No, I didn’t say that. I said I needed space. I wanna be by myself.”

“But you’re with Seojoon Oppa.”

“He has his own things to do, so I won’t even know he’s there,” Taehyung responded as they headed towards the hallway into the living room to get to the front door. “Remember a couple of sessions ago when my therapist told me to try and be alone since I get overwhelmed by the slightest of things?” She nodded. “Well, I want that right now. This is all too much for me. I’m not at my limit, but it’s getting there.”

Clara pursed her mouth. They both knew she didn’t like this one bit. She finally had Taehyung around, enjoying his presence and it was being taken away from her by the same man. But if this needed to happen to make this work, then so be it.

“If that’s what you need, then I’ll give it to you.” The socialite willingly accepted. Of course, either way, Taehyung was still going to do it. “But at least call me while you’re away.”

“Clara…” They reached the front door, now facing each other. One looked desperate while another looked depleted.

“Or at least text me! A simple good morning and a good night is fine too!” She pouted, still wanting a smidge of contact with her boyfriend.

Taehyung exhaled. Now he was taking pity on her, but in this case, she liked it. “Okay, fine. Good morning and good night. No more, no less. I’ll be okay and safe. If anything, call Seojoon if you need more updates.” He patted her head gently, staring blankly.

“I’ll miss you.”

“…Miss you too.”

“I love you, okay?” She tippy-toed to kiss him on the lips before hugging him tightly.

Taehyung reluctantly reciprocated it back, embracing his girlfriend for the last time in a while, “Okay, love you too.”

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