Lucien X You - Tumblr Posts

Isa's Masterlist

Hello! I'm Isa, and I'm here only because I can't keep my ideas to myself lol. Technically this is an experiment to see if I actually know how to speak English, and as you can guess, English is not my first language, so any mistakes are excused here haha.

Please be gentle with me, I'm just a girl in college trying to do something fun 😭😭

Did I mentioned I love music? Yeah, you'll see it everywhere. Look, there is one right here.

I can try writing for other characters of ACOTAR and maybe for Ruhn Danaan, so I'm open for requests, but I won't promise too much

Azriel

Moonlight Masterlist 🔗✨️

A Little Too Not Over You ✨️

Never Knew I Needed ✨️

Until It Happens To You 🔗✨️

Golden ✨️

Make You Mine ✨️

Delicate ✨️

I Think He Knows ✨️

Pillowtalk ✨️

Rhysand

This Is Love

What Was I Made For? 🔗

Mastermind ✨️

Wait For It ✨️

Waiting On A Miracle 🔗

The Loneliest ✨️

Cassian

Scars 🔗✨️

Burn For You ✨️

Kiss The Girl ✨️

Lucien

Dear Theodosia (and Philip) ✨️

What Makes You Beautiful ✨️

Eris

The Night We Met 🔗✨️

Helion

Baby Mine 🔗✨️

Serendipity ✨️

Information:

🔗 - Angst

✨️ - Fluff

💦 - Smut

pregnancy w/ lucien?

I was writing another one and SUDDENLY it became Lucien's story. Shocking isn't it? Anyway, maybe the idea was to go through the pregnancy, like, baby in the belly, but hey? Neither I (a young young lady in distress) nor my mother (a lovely mother of two) came up with cute scenarios of reader being pregnant, but we did think about baby being born (her with the memories of her children and me with the memories of my brother) hope you don't mind, anon!!! (Yes, i did give them the name of Hamilton's and Burr's babies, who cares? It needs to fit the song choice!

Dear Theodosia (and Philip)

Lucien was terrified, you could clearly see it in his eyes. His hands were fidgeting in his lap as he looked at you and the newborn bundle you carried in your arms. The healers were running around cleaning everything, from the water splashed on the ground to the blood covering a good part of the linen you were on, all while Madja finished washing your second baby. The little boy cried out loud everytime the water touched his body, something that didn't happen with the girl that was now being fed in your left breast.

You saw your mate's face, the tears that were hanging on the edge of his eyes. ou felt his nervousness as his hand was shaking while he held yours. You knew he was excited with your pregnancy, you saw and felt his happiness every time you caught his hand slipping into your belly to caress the baby - or babies - being formed under it. And yet, while he waited for his daughter to finish her meal so that he could take her, you also saw his fear.

You weren't mad. Obviously not. You know Lucien, know your mate, know the now father of your children. Since the beginning you knew he was terrified of being a father, when both of you agreed to try for babies (his own request, initially) you were prepared for this moment: the moment he realized everything was true. He was a father, he had a family, a loving mate and babies that would love him even more. Everything he was always prived of having.

You heard your mother's shouts outside the doors when one of the healers went out to tell the news. Soon her shouts were united with Helion's ones, and then your stepdad asking them to shut up and not disturb the rest of the patients, although you knew his own face would be covered in tears once he gets to enter your room.

When Madja took the girl out from you and handed the baby boy into your arms so he could eat too, you saw Lucien's face chante into one of nervousness. He let go of your hand so he could take the girl with more security, Madja being trained in all those years in taking babies here and there.

- I don't know how to do this - He said when tried to take the baby from the healer's arms, hearing her squirm when taken out of the comfortable position she was in.

- No parent does in the beginning, young boy, you can take your time - She said and took his arms to place them around the newborn's body. You noticed the exact moment when his eyes shifted to the most soft look he ever wore in his life. You watched as his eyes took in every part of her, her small arms, her big eyes, her tiny hands. And he saw her cries stop little by little as she smelled her fathers scent, Lucien smiled so big you could fill your own eyes tearing with emotion.

- Hi Theodosia, nice to meet you - He whispered into her head, as he bent down to kiss her forehead - I'm your dad - He said and she wiggled her hands as if trying to take a strand of his hair, as orange as his own - But I think you already know that, don't you little girl?

- Miss, both families want to come in, can I let them? - Madja asked you, your eyes never leaving the interaction happening between you mate and your daughter.

- Not yet, give us some more minutes. Lucien will call when we are ready - She only gave a small smile and looked at your little family too - You are lucky. Take care of them.

- I will - She gave you a fast kiss in the head and a caress in your son's cheek, smiling again.

- I know.

- Wanna hold your boy? - You asked Lucien and saw face red in tears, his smile reaching the sides of his face.

- She has your eyes - He said while exchanging babies with you, careful to not hurt any of his loves.

- And Philip has yours - He looked at his son and realized that, yes, indeed, the boy's eyes were the exact same shade as his eyes used to be when he was young - Are you happy, my love?

- What do you think? - He laughed at you, for you, and you couldn't help but giggle a little bit too - I'm surprised any of our parents ran into the room yet.

- I made Cassian promise to hold them in place and guard the door until we are ready to receive them - His laugh echoed again, stronger now. Both of your babies searching for the sound their father made.

- I think they love me - He said, caressing his boy's face.

- They got it from their mother - You smiled at him, seeing his skin start to glow as the fear started to completely fade inside of him, leaving space only for the joy he felt.

- And what a mother they have - You shyly smiled at him, years went by and you still had to grow accustomed to his flirts.

- Sunny boy, happy girl, are you both done? I have a mad grandmother and a crazy grandfather trying to climb on me to get to the door - Cassian screams from the corridor, curses and tantrums being thrown at him - I'm afraid that Helion will curse me, he's searching for his book, can you give a green signal, please?

- Let's end Cassian's suffering and let them in - You laugh at your mate's sad face.

- He is a big, scary general, I think he can handle a small curse from my father - You laughed even harder, now hearing even Rhysand trying to command his general out of the way, as excited as your parents to see the babies.

- Lucien! - You scolded him as he rolled his eyes and got up from the chair.

- Dear Theodosia, dear Philip, prepare yourselves to meet the mess your family is - He said out loud, obviously trying to make everyone outside hear him.

Pride wasn't enough of a word to describe how you felt in that moment, with everything you ever wished to have right in front of you, you realized how much of a lucky person you really were.

You can write a story in which Lucien braids the reader's hair or if you want it can be the other way around. Thank you!😊

THIS IS SO SWEET I DON'T KNOW HOW TO REACT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Don't ask me, but in my mind, if Elriel is endgame automatically SJM needs to give Azriel a mate and then make her date Lucien, it's just fair

It is what it is

Lucien baby, I just live love laugh him, there's no further explanation

This is quick, this is cute, and I think is enough to warm my heart

What Makes You Beautiful

You and Lucien had been dating for quite some time now, you were one of the only people in Velaris (or in whole Prythian, if you were being honest) who was open to receive and storage mails that came from the Human Lands. With that, you were Lucien's only font of communication with his friends from the Band of Exiles. Months went by with your encounters with him. The quick interactions suddenly became full conversations about something until it became a date invite.

That's how everything went until this evening, when you sat together under the sun of the Day Court in one of the palace's balconies as you gently began to braid Lucien's long, fiery locks. He leaned back in your lap, his heart warm with affection, as he let himself feel your skilled hands weaving through his hair.

-I've always loved doing this on my own. My mom was from Day and she spent all her last days teaching me how to do every hairstyle - You said softly, your eyes finding his when he opened them to look at you - But doing it for you makes it even more special.

-I want to learn more about the things you love - Lucien smiled, his eyes sparkling with gratitude.

-Is it so important to you? - You asked with a laugh, focusing more on making his hair look pretty for today's party. He would soon be officially crowned Heir to Day Court and asked you to braid his hair in one of the many traditional hairstyles from his father's culture.

-It's important to me because you are important to me - His mechanical eye sparkled in the sunlight and you felt your cheeks blushing, gently slapping his shoulder to make him stop looking at you.

-Your father said that the Inner Circle will come - You said as you finished tying the last braid, before starting to style it.

-Hm, I know. So? - He asked with a sleepy voice, your hands in his hair making wonders to calm down his nerves.

-Elain will be here - He opened his good eye at you, raising his eyebrow.

-Azriel too - He teased and received another slap, stronger than the last one.

-Well, I never tried to courtship him - You finished the style and began decorating it with some pendants and hair pieces, leaving space for the crown he would have to put after.

-He's still your mate - He understood your insecurities, knowing that his bond with Elain made you uncertain about your future together. Especially when your relationship with Azriel was a complete failure and his own with Elain wasn't so bad anymore.

-I literally ran away from him when the bond snapped - He laughed at that, clearly remembering the day you simply ran from your own store - Bonus points that he didn't follow me.

-My heart may be bound to Elain by fate, but you, my dear, have captured it completely. You are the one who makes me feel alive and cherished, and I cannot imagine a life without you - He grabbed one of your hands and kissed your wrist, looking at you with the biggest heart eyes you ever saw.

-You are a flirt, Lucien. I hope you know that - He laughed when you snapped away your hand, giving his hair the final touches.

-I do, that's how you ended up with me - You rolled your eyes but didn't answer, recognizing his effort.

He kept rambling about the uniqueness of your love, something that surpassed any predetermined destiny or something like that, you wouldn't be the one to stop him from praising you. He vowed to be there for you, to cherish you, and to prove his devotion every day. Not that he didn't do that already, but it was still nice to reinforce.

-Done, now you can put on your clothes while I'll work on myself - He gently rose from your lap and looked at his reflection in the hand mirror you gave him.

-I'm glad you liked it - You tried to say between the quick kisses he gave you, making you laugh at his insistence.

-You are a talent, my love. What would I do without my High Lady? - He turned around and kissed you, his lips dancing around yours as tried your best to not touch his hair.

-Now turn around, I want to try it too - He kissed your neck a dozen times before running behind you, making you sit between his legs.

-Wait, what? - He shut you up, by undoing the quick braid you did in the morning, smoothing it down with his fingers.

-I want to try braiding your hair, too. It's not just a symbol of your love for me, but that's my way to say that I will stay with you, no matter what - He started brushing your hair gently, something he already did on a daily basis before you went to bed - It's something important to you, I think I should learn.

-I hope you know I love you very much - You turned around to face him, his expression softening as he looked at you with affection and hope.

-I love you too - He kissed your forehead before turning your head back at the outside of the window - Now guide me through this, what should I do?

Requests are OPEN. I write for SJM universes and Harry Potter and I’m willing to try any others unless I haven’t read/watched it. Please leave comments and enjoy!

Rules and Requests (please visit)

My AO3

Taglist

Personal fav: 💞

Angst: ❤️‍🔥

Fluff: 🔅

ACOTAR

Azriel

Love of My Life Part 2 Part 3 ❤️‍🔥

The Best Friend ❤️‍🔥

3 Shadow Boys 🔅 (ft. Xaden and Ruhn)

Home Late ❤️‍🔥🔅

Happy Birthday! 🔅 (written for a very dear moot that i love)

Eris

Eris Week 2023 masterlist ❤️‍🔥🔅

Eris Week 2024 masterlist

Insecurities ❤️‍🔥🔅

Share 🔅

Lucien

Left behind Part 2 Part 3 epilogue ❤️‍🔥🔅

Cassian

Cassian meets Aelin 🔅💞

Rhysand

Love you too 🔅

Azris

A Distressing Solstice ❤️‍🔥🔅(acotar gift exchange)

Poly

Unplanned (Batboys & Eris x reader)🔅

A New Beginning (Platonic IC)❤️‍🔥🔅

Impossible prologue one two three (Azris x reader)❤️‍🔥

Mother Hens (Batboys x reader)🔅🔅

Not sure who to pair with

Assistant ❤️‍🔥

Fourth Wing

Xaden

Book Boyfriends 🔅💞

3 Shadow Boys 🔅

Liam

A tribute ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Harry Potter & Company

Theodore Nott

Stuck Together 🔅💞

No Yes (angst version)

No Yes (fluff version

Remus Lupin

7 years In Love ❤️‍🔥🔅

Sirius Black

pool party moodboard (for jinxed july)

Random Shit

In The Spirit (Halloween themed ish)

thank you to @saradika-graphics for dividers!

Left Behind (Lucien x reader)

a/n: I’m mostly winging it but thanks to a comment I have the general gist! Y/n is from the Dawn court btw (I’m in love with the Dawn court).

slight summary: Lucien left y/n for Elain 15 years ago Elain who still gave him the cold shoulder. His life was just getting back on track when he meets a girl age 14 with red hair and russet eyes.

⚠️: nah, ya know the drill, angst!

masterlist part 2 part 3 epilogue

Lucien’s POV

Lucien Vanserra had no idea why every night dreams of her haunted him. Why his thoughts swirled around her. He’d left her 15 years ago and yet she haunted his every breath. Everywhere he went was tainted by the memory of her except the night court. But in the night court Elain was constantly giving him the cold shoulder and he couldn’t stay there. He didn’t have a purpose there.

That was why Lucien was currently standing outside Julian and Vassa’s manor. He stared at the manor, hoping she wasn’t here before barging in and sending out a flair of magic to alert them of his presence.

Jurian came running and hugged him tight murmuring, “you’re an idiot.” Lucien smiled, happy to be home. Jurian led him to the dining room before smirking at him. “Finally come to join us Fierling?” Lucien sighed.

“Well-” he was cut off by a loud banging on the door and a voice that sounded vaguely familiar.

“Open up you prick, my moms going to kill me.” Lucien glanced at Jurian who had gone an interesting shade of white and raised a brow. Jurian gave him a look that probably said stay here and shut the hell up before he went to open the door.

Lucien hesitated before moving on silent feet to listen in.

“I’ll kill him, mom’s trained me.”

“No, Alex, he’s stronger, besides your mom would kill me for letting you try.” Jurian sounded vaguely panicked and was trying not to raise his voice.

“At least let me meet him, see what my mom saw in him. See if he would have been a good father. See if he’s worth fighting for.”

a long pause followed the girls words and Lucien thought of what he’d heard. See if he would have been a good father? What did that mean? Was he a father? That thought excited him, he loved kids. Who was that girl and why did her voice sound so familiar? Before he could try to answer those questions, footsteps echoed down the hall and Lucien quickly moved back to his seat.

Jurian and the girl, Alex, appeared in the doorway and Lucien’s breath caught in his throat. She looked like him, the same shoulder length red hair (I have no idea how long Lucien’s hair is) and same russet eyes. But in subtler ways, Alex looked like her. Y/n. The same nose and mouth but Lucien’s eyes caught on the white Peregryn wings that were unmistakably from the Dawn Court. And most damning of all was her age, Alex looked about 14 probably born a few months after Lucien had left y/n.

Alex stared at him in awe before an indifferent mask settled over her face and her russet eyes became unbearably cold. Lucien finally found his voice.

“you- you’re my daughter.”

A/n: part two anyone? Alex’s character is loosely based off my younger self. If you want to be tagged in part two just say so.

Left Behind Part 2 (Lucien x reader)

a/n: your wish is my command even if only one or two people wish, it is still my command. Wow 2 posts in one day!

⚠️: few curses

Masterlist part 1 part 3 epilogue

Luciens POV

Luciens words rang through the room before silence fell again. Finally Alex growled and drew a knife. Lucien started at the sight of the blade, he’d gifted that to y/n when they first became a couple.

“I am so such thing. I am y/n’s daughter because my so called ‘father’ never bothered with me.” She snarled and advanced on Lucien. He opened his mouth but no words came out because he knew she was right. He hadn’t bothered with this girl at all. jurian stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Alex to restrain her.

“I- I didnt know you existed, Im so sorry.”

“Sorry dosent cover it, father. You at least could have visited my mom, you two lovebirds were together 37 years after all.” Alex put the knife away and Jurian hesitantly released her. Lucien felt like ducking under the table and yelling I dont exist! Alex started again, “and you broke up with her for a female who has been giving you the cold shoulder ever since you’ve met!” Alex sat down miserably her indifferent mask falling into a mask of anger and longing. longing for a fatherly figure, Lucien realized. this time when Alex spoke her voice was softer, “Mom got a promotion to emissary of the dawn court 5 years ago but she couldnt even enjoy it because you promised her that once she got that promotion, the two of you would go to the winter court together. She hasn’t even looked at another male in that way because she still fucking loves you. You who left her for another, you who never came back, not even to visit. And yet she still harbors the hope that one day you might return her love. She thinks you're worth fighting for.”

The last words were spoken so softly that Lucien had to lean in to hear them. She thinks you’re worth fighting for. She still loves you.

Lucien stood on wobbly feet and rounded the table to pull his daughter into a tight hug. To be the person she fought for and to be the shoulder she cried on.

*****

Y/N’s POV

Y/n couldn’t find Alex anywhere, having just gotten back from a tiring day at work she had searched most everywhere for the kid. God damned 14 year olds. There was only one place left; Jurian and Vassa’s manor. She groaned at the thought of flying there, plus it was dusk, they would have to stay the night. That is, if Alex was even there.

On the flight to the manor, y/n’s thoughts strayed to Lucien. She, Rhys, and Feyre had become good friends during their meetings they had. Rhys had told her Elain still showed no interest in Lucien (something y/n couldnt fathom) and was always giving him the cold shoulder. That made her feel smug.

When she reached the manor, the sun was down and her wings were starting to ache from all the flying today. Alex had better be here, she was going to murder that child. Y/n banged on the door until she heard footsteps on the other side. The door opened and Jurian stood there, when he beheld her he paled. She cracked a smile. “I don’t look that bad do I?”

Jurian smiled slightly thought it didnt reach his eyes. “Nah, Alex is here.” He sighed, pulling her into a hug. “He’s here. He and Alex… talked. I think they’re getting along. Also, why do I have to play chaperone?”

Y/n stiffened at his words but smiled wryly, “because it’s your house.” She brushed past him with a grateful pat on the back as he followed her to the dining room. She was immediately greeted with a hello and hug from Alex. Stepping around Alex, y/n shot her a look that said, you are so getting murdered. Alex had the nerve to smirk.

“Y/n….”

Her eyes went straight to Lucien and she barley held back a gasp. She hadn’t seen him in so long. He was gorgeous.

Y/n and Lucien stared at eachother for what seemed like eternity until Jurian cleared his throat pointedly.

“As much as I love Fae staring contests, Vassa will be here soon so lets prepare some dinner shall we?”

The two broke eye contact and simultaneously glowered at Jurian. Jurian gulped. Alex saved him. “Im hungry so stop staring and be productive.” Jurian shot her a grateful look. Both fae turned their glares to Alex who dragged Jurian into the kitchen.

It was going to be a long night

A/n: Part 3? Ask and you shall be tagged

Left Behind part 3 (Lucien x reader)

A/n: Im have decided something (drumroll please)! I dislike this perspective. Also this part was slightly rushed even if it came out later than the others (sorry).

⚠️ - meh

word count- 1200 (finally put a word count…)

part 1 part 2 epilogue masterlist

*****

Y/n was going to be the death of him. When had she gotten so gods damned beautiful? Or she'd always been that beautiful and he'd been too blind to see it. No, that couldn't be it, could it? But Lucien sensed a new confidence in her, as if 15 years of raising a child alone had given her a new strength.

She smiled at him but it was guarded, not the joyful, carefree smile she always used to gift him. He had thrown away that gift like it was nothing. Lucien cleared his throat, "Shall we?" He motioned toward the kitchen door where the smell of tomato sauce could be detected. Y/n eyed him suspiciously before nodding slowly and starting toward the kitchen.

When they walked in Jurian and Alex were chilling at the table. Jurian smirked, "You two lovebirds are making dinner." He directed y/n to boiling the noodles and Lucien to cutting the vegetables. As Lucien picked up the knife to cut the veggies he glanced at Alex and Jurian. They were bantering back and forth, sending snarky comments to the other. Alex picked up a blade deftly and threw it at him so it speared his broccoli.

"Stop staring and get to work already!" He smirked and mockingly saluted her. His daughter, he couldn't hold back his smile. And she'll be a lovely emissary one day, he thought. True to his daughters order, he got to work.

*****

When making dinner, neither she or Lucien spoke until Vassa burst through the doors and saw their predicament. She paled. Alex jumped up and dragged the Queen out to presumably tell her what was happening.

Y/n glanced at Lucien to see him done with cutting and watching her intently. She looked away and finished boiling the pasta. Once dinner was ready shel left the males to serve it and went to find Vassa. She found her and Alex outside, talking in the gardens. She joined them while Vassa asked her, "How did you guys end up here? Alex is taking forever."

Patting Alex's head Y/n said, "I was searching for this one and I'd searched everywhere except here so I flew over and found Luci already here, talking with Alex!!

Both females turned to stare at Alex expectantly and she squirmed under their combined stares. "We... just talked, got caught up on 14 years of gossip I guess.

"Guys! Dinners ready!" They all jumped as Lucien emerged from the back door, a tense smile on his lips. "And um, Y/n can I talk to you?"

The others all looked at Y/n as she nodded and all but shoved them towards the door. "Don't wait to eat on our account" she called as the door shut. Turning to face Lucien, Y/n smiled at him tightly.

Lucien nervously grinned back and began, "look Y/n, I'm really sorry about 15 years ago. First I didn't know you were pregnant and I know that's not a good excuse or reason for you to forgive me. I'm not sure it would have impacted my decision but you need to know the day before I left I got a letter from Elain. It said that she was willing to try with me and give us a chance if I stopped seeing you. So I slept on it and left the next day because the letter ate off all my insecurities, like you would leave me because you are way out of my league. I know that's not a good excuse either but just let me continue, please."

Y/n smirked at Lucien. "Ya know Luci, I woke up in the middle the night and found the letter on the counter... but I didn't expect you to actually follow what Elain said. But go on." She crossed her arms and waited.

It was a good five minutes before Lucien throat could work again. "I loved you, I truly did. When I first got to night everyone was so confused to see me and when I told them about the letter Elain claimed she didn't write it and wanted nothing to do with me. I broke down then and Feyre comforted me through it all. We found out that one of my brothers had sent the letter as a cruel joke. She urged me to talk to both Elain and you, to work out my problems. So I tried to talk to Elain but every time she gave me the cold shoulder I thought of your face when I left you. The way I made you cry when I promised myself I would never do that to a female I loved. So for fifteen years I saw your face everywhere and I tried to build up the courage to go find and talk to you. This is the first time I've been outside the night court ever since I left you behind. I left the love of my life behind and I was too afraid to face the consequences of my decisions. But if you'll take me Y/n, I will be yours forever. I never stopped loving you and I never will."

Y/n watches as Lucien finishes and stares at her feet, she studies him, he truly does love her. She smiles knowing he's waiting for her to reject him and a small selfish part of her tells her to wait so he can feel some of the pain she felt.

After a good minute of silence Lucien looks up to see Y/n smirking at him. She stops smiling as they're eyes meet and she carefully leans forward and kisses him. The kiss is light, but passionate and only lasts for about a second, both Far relishing the taste of the other on their tongue. As she pulls away Lucien smiles and pulls her back.

Y/n grins, "Okay Luci but I need to make some things clear. First this relationship if we choose it requires both parties to be completely truthful about anything even relatively important. But Lucien if you are to leave again I don't think my heart could heal again. Besides we have Alex and if you leave, her heart is too young to break. And if you still harbor feelings for Elain then all of this is off and I'm not getting back together." She pulls back and looks at Lucien.

Lucien thinks for a moment before grinning and pulling her back into his arms. "I promise I will not leave you, not for Elain, not for anyone else. I think some small part of me will always care for Elain unless we break the bond. But I am yours forever."

Y/n smiles, "Good enough." They embraced as magic coursed between their souls.

Suddenly whoops rang out through the garden and someone slow clapped. Alex came running and hugged her parents. She smiled up at Lucien, her new father, and an evil grin spread over her face. “I’m so going to beat you in training!”

Y/n smiled down at her daughter, their daughter. “You won’t be able to beat him if you can’t beat me. And you cant beat me.”

Lucien smiled, eyes shining. And nudged Alex out of the way before smoothly reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small box. Simultaneously opening the box and sliding to his knee he grinned up at Y/n.

“Will you give me the honor of marrying me, my beautiful Y/n?”

a/n: I think I want an epilogue… do y’all want one? It’ll be focused around Alex. Enjoy your day!

Taglist

@thelov3lybookworm

The Best Friend

a/n: I changed the title but still. This is based off my life, please, this is the one fic I ask for no constructive criticism. It still hurts like hell, but it’s whatever at this point. No one cares

wc: 1100

⚠️- unrequited love

masterlist

*****

ever loved someone who your best friend also loves? loved someone who will never love you back because they’re with your best, best friend? the friend you are loyal to and has been through so much, and deserves the his love more then you do? Ever backed off from a possible relationship because of the feeling of guilt eating you alive? Because you know your friend loves him, wants him, has him? I have and I can tell you right now, it sucks and it hurts like hell.

I glanced across the training ring and my heart clenched as I spotted Azriel and Gwyn training together. A flash of light caught my eye and I barely blocked Emeries’ sword from cutting me open. She throws me a pitying look and I pin her with a threatening look. She glances over my shoulder, a grimace on her face as she looks at our friend and the shadowsinger Their positions haven’t changed. What had she been grimacing about? Shit. My brain caught up and I was suddenly knocked to the ground with a sword at my throat and Emerie grinning down at me.

“Yield?”

I grin at her, the only warning before I knee her in the stomach and this time I’m on the top. with correct positioning so she can’t do anything to my stomach.

“Yield?”

“Yield.”

I forget about my heartache for a moment as Nesta and Cassian cheer. The two of us bow sarcastically at our audience of priestesses and Emerie holds two fingers over my head to make bunny ears. I swat and her and she chuckles before Rhysand sweeps in and they start the journey back to windhaven. Gwyn comes over and claps me on the back, handing me a two cups of water. I dunk one back as I see Azriel come over.

“Jeez Y/n, slow down a bit.”

I smirk and splash the water at him. It hits him in the chest and he growls.

“You’re done for.”

I laugh, sprinting down the stairs leading into the House of Wind.

“HEY, you didn’t cool down!!”

Cassian’s warning goes unanswered as I winnow out to meet Madja. The old healer eyes me up and down, shaking her head.

“You can’t take your lessons like this girl.”

*****

Two hours later, I’m in the library reading a murder mystery in a little alcove. Footsteps echo around and I can tell Gwyn is approaching fast. I put on a smile as Gwyn comes running in, books under her arm, a wide smile on her face.

“We kissed! We kissed!!”

I gasp and the painful ache in my heart expands as Gwyn sits down and talks on and on about her kiss with the spymaster.

I know she deserves it, after all she’d been through, there was nothing she didn’t deserve. And I smile because I am happy for her. Even if my heart breaks at the thought of them together, I will stay and support my friend.

“— then Cassian came back up to get a dagger he forgot and Azriel’s shadows didn’t deign to tell us. So Cassian ended up standing there awkwardly for so long until we noticed him. I was so embarrassed!! We’d just been kissing with so much passion and CASSIAN WAS JUST STANDING THERE, WATCHING!”

I bite my bottom lip in an attempt not to laugh as I meet Azriel’s wide eyes through a bookshelf. He puts a finger against his lips and I nod with a smug smirk.

“Anyway Y/n. What should I do?? He asked me out and it’s tomorrow at 7pm!!”

My heart stops, they’re really going to be together. My body tenses of its own accord and I clench my fists to stop from punching something.

“Uh well, you’ve got to pick something to wear that’s not too formal. Maybe a cobalt shirt with black leggings? Don’t think about it too much, just pretend you’re with me. Talk about things you love, your eyes light up and it looks really beautiful. He’ll be to shocked to respond.”

I smile at the thought of Azriel at a loss for words and Gwyn squeals, tackling me in a hug.

“Thank the cauldron, you’re a life saver! But Merrill’s gonna skin me alive if I keep her waiting any longer! Thanks y/n!”

She runs off and soon her footsteps disappear down the hallway.

Azriel comes out from his hiding spot and grins easily at me. “Thanks for not ratting me out, sunshine.”

I blush (as always) at the nickname and shake my head at him.

“What were you even doing??”

“Oh um. Just wanted to make sure she enjoyed it as much as I did and doesn’t have any regrets.”

I nod in understanding; Azriel has opened up to me about his insecurities a few times and ask me for advice on Gwyn. The thing is, I can even be mad at him for only talking to me about Gwyn. No. He asks me questions and listens when I talked without end about my troubles. God damn nice shadowsinger.

I’ve got to tell him. I can’t do it after he and Gwyn start, that would just be worse.

“Azriel… I’ve been meaning to speak with you.” At his raised eyebrow I continue nervously. “Thank you for talking and listening to me, it means a lot and I will always appreciate the time you put aside for me. It means too much, too much to be friendly — see Azriel, what I’m trying to say is that, I like you, more then friendship, I love you.” I awkwardly watch him as he stares at me. I wait, and I wait, and I wait.

But he turns around and leaves, not looking back once.

And I feel my heart break

*****

A year later

I watch from the corner of the living room as everyone exchanges gifts for Solstice. I watch as Azriel gets on one knee. As he opens a box, and asks the word I always wished would be directed to me.

“Gwyn, my darling, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

My not so best friend squeals with delight and I smile for her. Because even though she rarely speaks to me, I still love her with all my heart. My heart that is currently rebreaking after it just healed. I’ll heal again, I always do. That’s my greatest strength, or maybe my greatest weakness.

A flash of red hair appears in my vision and I spot Lucien. He smiles at me, handing me a small, beautifully wrapped box.

“Happy Solstice y/n.”

*****

a/n: hope you enjoyed, I’m not a big fan personally but yeah. Like, reblog and comment!

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@thelov3lybookworm @profound-imagination @stargirl1714

Best Friends Forever, Right?

a/n: loosely based off ‘When We Were Young’ by Adele!

wc: 750

*****

“But if by chance you're here alone Can I have a moment? Before I go? 'Cause I've been by myself all night long Hoping you're someone I used to know”

You arrived at the Forest House five minutes before the coronation of the new High Lord was due to begin. Moving to stand in the corner of the room, you scanned the guests. As Eris Vanserra’s most trusted spy and assassin, you’d been assigned to protect him and his brothers. You just hoped one brother wasn’t here. Memories plagued you every night. Of him falling in love with Jesminda. Of him leaving you for the spring court even when you’d been his best friend, his right hand woman. He’d abandoned you to the mercy of Beron Vanserra.

“Everything just takes me back To when you were there To when you were there”

But most of all, when you were promised something. You slipped back into the memory.

*****

“Hey Y/n? You know I love you right?” Your heart rate jumped. Hope igniting in your chest.

“What about Jesminda?”

Luci laughed. “No not like that silly, you’re my best friend.”

You really did feel silly now. “Yep. Of course.”

Lucien offered his pinky. “Best friends forever, right?”

You hooked your pinky within his. “Forever.”

*****

“Y/n!” Tamlin’s voice sounded, breaking you from your thoughts. The High Lord of Spring had been your friend ever since he’d found you half-dead from one of Beron’s interrogation sessions on Lucien. He’d offered to take you to the Spring Court with him but you couldn’t stand the thought of facing your best friend.

“Hi Tam. I’ve got to go. Eris’ brother Raven looks like he needs help from all the ladies.”

Tamlin laughed at you, “This is what your job has descended to? Saving Raven from ladies?”

You smiled and flipped him off over your shoulder as you slid between Raven and the females.

“Hi Rav! Wanna get a drink with me and go make out?” The females scowled and murmured as they stalked away.

“Thanks Y/n. You’re the best.” You hooked your arm through this as the final guests arrived.

The Day Court.

Helion leading his entourage with Lucien a step behind. You looked away, trying leading Raven in the opposite direction. But it was too late, he’d already seen his little brother.

You winnowed away. You couldn’t do this, face him after four centuries of silence. But he was still Lucien. Your Lucien. He looked the same.

“You look like a movie You sound like a song My God this reminds me, of when we were young Let me photograph you in this light In case it is the last time That we might be exactly like we were”

“Fuck!” You screamed, pounding on the nearest wall, welcoming the sting of pain. But… you could do this, talk to him. You had to. You just had to. Did he still remember you? You walked back to the celebration grabbing the strongest glass of wine you could find. You could do this.

Three hours later as the sun went down you still hadn’t talked to him. He’d been approached by everyone! Everyone wanted to get on the good side of the future High Lord of Day. But now, everyone was heading out and the room was empty except the 7 brothers and you. You approached your High Lord first, patting him on his now-crowned head in affection. Eris hissed and swatted your hand away as Raven shook his head watching you with a smile.

“And a part of me keeps holding on Just in case it hasn't gone I guess I still care Do you still care?”

You looked up and there he was, in all his glory.

“Oh, Y/n. Hi.”

That was all you got. After a century of being his best friend and supporting him through things. After going through a dozen sessions of Beron’s interrogation and not spitting a word about his glorious ass. All you got was a ‘Hi.’

“Lucien. Nice to see you’re doing so well after four centuries.”

You knew all his brothers were watching this, hearts breaking for you. They’d all taken turns (they called it required shifts) comforting you for two centuries. Telling you that Lucien wouldn’t just throw away a friendship like that. And yet here you were. Thrown away. Deposited. Trashed.

“Yeah well ummm. Eris could I talk to you?” And there he went, four centuries of waiting.

And he’d walked away.

He didn’t even look back.

*****

a/n: tbh I don’t like this one much, but here y’all go. (My writing is shit!)

tagging: @thelov3lybookworm @profound-imagination