Lots Of Druffering - Tumblr Posts

🖤Ashes🩶

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Synopsis: Frustrated by Jake’s constant attempts to repair their friendship, Drew decides to burn the broken bridge for good.

A/N: Welcome back to another episode of “Drew does something stupid or mean, and ends up feeling sorry for himself.” Today, Drew REALLY fucks things up. (He’s my favorite boy-failure.) Also, Drew might’ve won the battle, but Jake wins the war. (No one’s gonna get this lmao.)

Contains Swearing, Violence, Mild Death-Threats(?)

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The sound of a blaring alarm awoke Drew from his fitful sleep, and slowly, he opened his eyes. He sat up groggily, rubbing at his eye with his palm as he struggled to keep them open.

“Then… Can I stay the night?” The voice echoed in his mind almost immediately, bringing him back to the events that had transpired a few nights ago. Liam had practically barged into his house, uninvited, and just… held him.

Drew’s hand lingered above his waist, just above where Liam’s had once been. His touch had been so warm, yet… Drew couldn’t find any comfort the memory. There was something that didn’t add up.

Why had Liam gone out of his way to help him that night? Why had he held him so carefully? Drew hadn’t offered him anything for it. Hell, he could barely remember thanking him for it.

Was Liam trying to make up for the fact he protected Zoey’s secrets? Or was there more that he was hiding, and this was all just a way to cover it up?

What if Liam had known Jake was going to leave? What if he knew of someone else who planned to hurt him? What if Liam was only trying to get closer to him so that he could hurt him as well? What if he was only using him as well? And how much of this was Henry in on?

Drew groaned, dragging his hand down his face. He was being dramatic again. Liam… probably wouldn’t do that to him…

He shoved the thoughts to the back of his mind, and forced himself to stand, dragging himself to his closet to finally start getting ready for the day.

***

The moment Drew stepped foot on campus, his earbuds went in, and the world faded out. And while his body was stuck going through the motions, his mind was able to wander freely.

And for a while, Drew allowed himself to forget. To pretend nothing existed. To pretend… he didn’t exist.

It was a comforting thought…

But it didn’t last as long as he would’ve liked, because reality always found a way to pull him back down…

And it happened when he noticed Jake in the cafeteria… with Hailey.

The two were only visible for a few moments, and disappeared in the crowds the next, but Drew’s eyes couldn’t leave them for a second.

He could feel a white-hot flame ignite in his chest as he stared. And even after lunch had ended, he could still feel it burning. He tried his best to cover it, but the sparks refused to fade.

By the end of the day, Drew could still feel it, burning away at his insides. It guided his movements, and his hand slammed his locker closed with a loud bang.

The sound alone was enough to surprise him, and he forced himself to take a breath. He really needed to calm down. Maybe he could take a shower when he got home. Go to bed early and-

Drew flinched when he felt someone tap his shoulder, and quickly, he turned around, taking out an earbud to realize-

Jake was standing right there.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” Drew snapped. He turned to leave, but-

“Drew, wait-” The sound of Jake’s voice was enough to stop him in his tracks. “Please, will you just listen to me for a minute?” Drew refused to turn around.

“Go away.” He whispered, only to hear Jake take a step closer.

“Drew, please. I-I just… I want to apologize.”

He’s lying.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Drew.”

Don’t trust him.

“I just want-”

Drew’s body was moving on its own as he turned on his heel, and without a second thought, he backhanded Jake in the face.

The blonde stumbled back, eyes growing wide as he took in a sharp breath. He blinked a few times, his shaking fingertips grazing the reddened mark forming on his face.

“What part of ‘I’m done with you’ do you not understand?!” Drew shouted. “You’re not getting a second chance from me, and nothing is going to change that! You chose your side, and you made it abundantly clear who your real friends are! I couldn’t give a single fuck about you, or your excuses now! Hell, you could turn up dead tomorrow and I wouldn’t give a shit! It’s what you and all those other freaks deserve!” Jake’s eyebrows narrowed. Drew must’ve struck a nerve there…

“Leave them out of this!” Jake’s voice raised slightly, and Drew could feel a smirk tug at his lips.

“Or what?” He taunted, taking a step towards the blonde and savoring the way he tensed up at the movement. “You gonna write a whiny little song about it? Is Hailey gonna run away crying again?” Drew’s cruel smile faded as he leaned back a bit. “You seriously think I’m gonna leave those freaks out of this when they’re the problem?!”

“If anyone’s the problem here, it’s you!” Jake suddenly snapped, and before Drew could even process it, Jake had shoved him back. “You made me feel like shit about myself, for years, all because of something that had absolutely nothing to do with you! And not only that, you go out of your fucking way to bully other people for the same fucking reason. All you know how to do is hurt people!! Yet I’m somehow the one apologizing!”

“Oh, don’t you dare try to make me look like the bad guy here!”

“You think bullying people for their interests makes you a good guy?!”

“You think lying to your best friend is any better?!” Drew was struggling to keep his voice steady as he took a step towards him.

“I lied because you made me feel like I couldn’t trust you! And if you weren’t so wrapped up in your own head, you’d realize that! You never think about anyone else but yourself you selfish, spoiled asshole!!”

Drew’s fist was moving before he could think, punching Jake in the face. The blonde wasted no time returning the gesture.

Pain flooded Drew’s senses, yet only seemed to fuel the burning flame in his chest.

The fire blinded him, painting his world a deep, blood red. His punches were aimless, and each hit he took was nothing more than a dull pulse to march along with his ever-growing heartbeat. He didn’t care what was going on anymore. He just wanted Jake Sterling to suffer.

He was only partially aware of the crowd surrounding them, their murmurs and chants nothing but a muffled whisper.

Yet the sound of Jake’s heavy breaths and winces rang loudly in his ears.

He was quick to note every subtle change in his posture. Every move he made. And the very moment he’d tossed his jacket to the ground, revealing arms reddened from bruises.

Jake suddenly lunged forward, grabbing Drew by his collar and pinning him to the lockers. Drew’s head jerked, the air forced from his lungs in a choked exhale.

And for a moment, Drew couldn’t breathe. His mind was spinning. He had to do something, but-

His eyes met Jake’s for a moment, yet there was no longer any life in eyes.

Suddenly, a blunt force hit Drew’s stomach, causing him to gag. He had to escape, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to get enough power for another punch from his position. So he did the next thing he thought of: he dug his nails into Jake’s skin, scratching him just above his brow. The blonde winced, his grip loosening for a second as he stumbled back, and Drew seized the opportunity to break away from him, placing a hand on his chest as he struggled to catch his breath.

And the second he finally did so, he was running at Jake once again, swinging at him again and hitting his eye. But Jake only faltered for a moment before grabbing Drew’s shoulders, slamming him to the floor.

Stars flooded his vision when his head smacked against the ground, his surroundings blurring together into a mess of dull colors.

Drew could feel Jake’s legs straddle his waist, preventing him from moving. He wasn’t strong enough to force Jake off of him either, no matter how much he fought against him.

There wasn’t anything Drew could do as he watched Jake draw his fist back, and-

…Drew could’ve sworn he heard something snap.

Pain erupted in the center of his face, and even something as simple as a breath burned.

He could feel blood dripping from his nose. He noticed some of it coating Jake’s knuckle.

Jake was about to punch him again when Drew noticed a pair of hands grab Jake by the arms, dragging him off as loud whistles began to blow. Another person, a security guard most likely, grabbed Drew as well.

Drew let out a wordless yell, struggling against the guards hold, desperate to get back to the fight.

But Drew noticed a flicker of light in Jake’s eyes for a moment, and Drew’s shaking breaths began to slow. His movements halted, and he allowed himself to just… stare. And take in the damage he’d done.

Jake’s eye was swollen, his arms and cheeks littered with bruises. Small scratches ran along his brow, bleeding ever so slightly.

Yet his eyes were no longer cold. They’d gone… almost glossy. And Drew couldn’t understand why.

“Jake!”

The familiar voice dragged Drew back to reality, and he tore his gaze from the blonde to see a familiar figure forcing her way through the crowds.

Her black eyes were wide, worry etched in her features as she tried to get to Jake.

And Drew could recall when he had once been in her place.

When he was the one who mattered.

When it was him, not her…

Not Hailey.

…Before he knew it, he was screaming again. An incoherent string of profanities and insults. Tearing into Jake’s insecurities, anything that would give him the last word in the fight.

The words burned on his tongue, but he couldn’t stop them for escaping.

And in the end, Drew cherished the broken look in Jake’s eyes as the words left his bleeding lips.

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Drew winced as his fingertips grazed his nose again. Despite the nurse’s exasperated comments, Drew knew it must’ve been broken. Yet all he was given was some tissues and a measly ice pack before she left to tend to Jake.

The two had been dragged to the nurses office, and while Drew was left in the waiting room, Jake was taken to the infirmary room. Hailey had insisted on following, but she was eventually sent away.

Drew glanced down at his feet, despite the nurse telling him numerous times to keep his head elevated to stop the bleeding.

The fight replayed in his head over and over again. And even still, Drew couldn’t get over the lifeless look in his old friend’s eyes.

It was strange to think that a month ago, those same eyes would’ve looked at him with such warmth and care…

Drew glanced up when he heard Jake’s door open, and when the blonde walked past him, he noticed how red his eyes had gotten. They looked almost… watery. Drew averted his gaze, keeping it fixed the tiled flooring as he listened to Jake’s footsteps slowly fade. But before Drew could hear the door open, Jake paused.

“I think I’m done with you, too.” He whispered, his voice oddly unsteady. Drew glanced up at him, but the blonde was already gone. Leaving Drew alone in silence.

The words repeated in his mind. Then again, and again, and-

Drew realized he finally did it.

He finally burned the bridge between him and Jake. There’d be no going back now.

He’d gotten what he wanted…

So… why could feel his heart stop for a moment. Why was his throat growing tighter. Why couldn’t he breathe?

Drew finally tilted his head up, blinking a few times as he struggled to take in an even breath of air.

Why was this happening? This is what he wanted, wasn’t it?

Jake was finally gone…

❤️Bridges (Pt. 1)🖤

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Synopsis: Drew spends most of his time suspended ignoring phone calls and withering away on the floor, until a certain someone decides to show up at his doorstep in hopes of changing that.

A/N: It has been a hot minute since I’ve posted a Drew fic, so for anyone who’s kinda forgotten the timeline: Drew and Jake got into a fight resulting in the both of them being suspended. Drew keeps ignoring Liam anytime he tries to help and is only spiraling further. And fun fact! This is arguably the softer of the two fics! (I hope I portrayed Drew’s worries properly.)

Contains Swearing, Arguments.

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Unsurprisingly, Drew received a two-week suspension from school for his fight with Jake. Which honestly seemed more like a blessing than anything. He wouldn’t have to deal with anyone for a full week. He could finally just… do nothing.

Countless messages remained unanswered. Nights passed without an ounce of sleep. And it felt…

Well, he wanted to say nice, but it was hard to feel anything anymore. Anything positive, at least. All he felt was exhaustion.

He found himself on the floor one quiet evening, once again ignoring Liam’s messages as he watched a video someone had taken of his fight with Jake. He didn’t know who had posted it, nor did he bother to check how long it’d been up for. But, he found himself drawn to it, watching it over and over again, focusing on the same part every time: the moment he’d snapped.

His own voice rang through the phone, sounding almost scratchy due to the poor audio quality. But that wasn’t something he found himself paying much attention to.

Instead, his eyes were drawn to Jake, soaking in every detail of the blonde’s expression. The subtle twitch of his brow, the slight tremble of his bottom lip, the faint red hue tainting his eyes as they began to grow watery.

It didn’t make sense… Why did he look so hurt?

He deserved this… he deserved to hurt. He deserved to feel this betrayal… to feel even a fraction of Drew’s pain.

Yet Drew could feel knives digging deep into his chest, piercing his heart, his lungs. It was hard to breathe. It was hard to want to stay alive…

And every time he rewound the video, the knives twisted further. Yet some sick part of him wanted to keep watching… to keep enduring the pain…

He deserves this… He deserves this… Stop feeling guilty…

It’s not your fault.

Suddenly, Drew’s phone began to ring, and the sound startled him so badly he nearly dropped it on his face.

He took a breath to compose himself, before glancing up at his phone screen to find Liam’s contact photo staring back at him.

With another breath, Drew hit declined. He wasn’t sure how many times Liam had tried to reach out to him, yet Drew made sure he never got through.

You think he would’ve figured out I don’t want to talk to him right now. Drew thought, almost instinctively declining Liam’s second call.

But in typical Liam fashion, he called a third time, and a fourth time. And in typical Drew fashion, he declined every one, before eventually deciding to power off his phone all together, tossing it to the side and likely adding to the collection of cracks taking up his phone screen.

He let out a sigh, glancing up towards the sunroof to see a silver half-moon hanging high in the sky, partially obscured by dark grey clouds.

And as he watched them drift through the sky, he began to think back to the start of Junior Year. How different he was back then.

How he was once a person who couldn’t stand the idea of being alone, terrified of the silence that came with it. How he used to do everything in his power to escape it, chasing distraction after distraction like the pathetic coward he was.

And how a distraction was what ended up hurting him the most in the end…

…Maybe that’s why he stopped running from the silence. Because it was the only thing that could never hurt him.

It was constant. It would never leave him, no matter how much he ran. At first, he thought it was a curse. But maybe it was more of a blessing. In one form or another, it always came back…

And it’s not like I could ever hurt it either…

Drew shoved the thought to the back of his mind. Damn Jake. Why’d I let him put that stupid idea in my head?

Drew rolled onto his side, wondering if he should get off the floor now. He wasn’t exactly sure how long he’d been down there. Probably too long.

But something didn’t exactly feel right about sitting in bed right now either. It felt more… fitting, to stay here. On the cold, hard ground.

Drew nearly jumped when he heard the doorbell ring. What the hell?! Who’d be at the door this time of night?!

The doorbell rang again, and again, over and over, so many times, and Drew didn’t even need to get up to figure out who was at his door.

“Christ, I’m gonna kill myself.” He mumbled to himself, dragging himself off the floor. He made his way downstairs, pulling the door open to reveal none other than Liam himself. Figures.

“Hey-” Liam’s usual greeting was interrupted the moment Drew came into view, and his eyes briefly glanced him over. “Damn. How come you always look like shit when I come over?” Drew rolled his eyes, biting back a groan. Thanks for the reminder, idiot.

“I wasn’t exactly expecting you.” He remarked. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Have you even been outside? Like, at all?” Liam asked, completely ignoring Drew’s prior question.

“Why the fuck would I go outside?” He grumbled, dragging a hand down his face.

“Because it’s healthy? Or something like that?”

“Yeah, I think I’m good.”

“Well, what have you been doing?” Liam questioned, and Drew couldn’t think of an honest answer that didn’t sound insane.

“Liam, I’m really not in the mood for this today. Leave me alone.”

“You’re really just gonna send me away? After I drove all this way for you?”

“You drove 10 minutes-”

“15, actually.” Liam corrected, and Drew rolled his eyes again. He was about to reach for the doorknob and close the door, but before he could, Liam grabbed his wrist.

“Drew, please.” The shorter man blinked, surprised by the sudden desperation in Liam’s voice. Liam seemed a little taken aback himself, and he was quick to mask it with a soft chuckle. “Seriously, I…” He paused for a moment, as if unsure what to do. “It’s not healthy to stay in your room all day and not talk to anyone. It’s- it’s gonna drive you insane.”

Why do you care? Drew wanted to ask. The words were on the tip of his tongue, yet his lips remained sealed.

He could feel Liam’s thumb rub his wrist gently, and his deep crimson eyes looked up to meet Drew’s.

“How ‘bout we go on a walk?” He suggested, his voice regaining its usual cheerful tone.

“Really?” Liam nodded. “Do I get a choice?”

“Not at all! You go back inside, I’ll just throw rocks at your window, all Romeo and Juliet style.”

“Oh, God, please don’t.” Drew groaned, and Liam slid a little closer.

“I’ll even recite some love poems too. I’ll be on my knees crying ‘Oh Romeo! Where thou art Romeo?!’ And make it look super gay.” Drew pulled his hand away.

“Fucking gross.”

“Then put your shoes on! And- maybe grab a jacket, too. It’s pretty cold.”

“Fine. Give me like, 5 minutes.” Liam smiled, and settled himself down on the front step.

“Alright, Romeo!”

“Fucking kill yourself.” Drew mumbled, closing the door behind him before letting out a low sigh. Why does he always pull shit like this? He wondered, throwing on the pair of shoe he’d left by the door.

And why do I always go along with it?

Making his way over to the couch, Drew grabbed a jacket he’d left lying on the back, throwing it on and checking the pockets to find his keys still inside.

…Liam doesn’t care. He’s lying, remember? It’s all a lie…

…

Before Drew knew it, he was out the door again.

Liam was in the same position Drew had left him in, and he glanced up when he’d heard the door creak.

“That was fast.” The taller man commented. “Sure you got everything?”

“Yeah.” Drew replied, and Liam stood up.

“Awesome. Let’s go, then.” He said, motioning with his head for Drew to follow him.

“Where are we going?” He asked once they’d reached the sidewalk. Liam shrugged.

“Dunno. Wherever, I guess?” What did I expect?

Drew didn’t respond, instead following Liam down the street in relative silence.

And despite the time, the surroundings weren’t all that dark. Street lamps lined the sidewalks, providing a gentle glow for the two to follow. The half-moon shined brightly overhead, with only a few clouds dotting the sky.

The breeze was cool and gentle, and it felt nice against Drew’s cheek. Everything was quiet. Peaceful, almost.

But Drew couldn’t stop his mind from wandering.

Why is Liam doing this? After everything, he still won’t tell me what he wants. Does he… genuinely just want to help me?

…That’s what Jake had said, too. But Jake lied…

And Liam has Henry, so… why does he want me? If not to use me, too?

Drew shoved his hands in his pockets, his gaze drifting down to the sidewalk. And he suddenly realize Liam had yet to ask him about-

“So… how's it been, being suspended and all?” There it is. Drew shrugged.

“Fine, I guess? It’s been a nice break from everything.” Liam nodded.

“Have your parents found out yet?”

“If they have, they haven’t said anything.” He mumbled. “And even if they're mad, what are they gonna do? They’re out of town for another week.”

“Lucky.” Drew glanced up at him.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“I mean, having your parents out of town all the time and being able to get away with whatever you want.” Drew bit the inside of his cheek.

“Yeah.”

“If I had that kind of power, I’d-” Liam paused. “Probably get arrested, honestly.”

“That’s because you’re an idiot.” Drew commented, and Liam elbowed him in his side.

“Ass.” Drew’s lips twitched slightly, a soft hint of a smile appearing on his face.

He’s lying. He doesn’t care about you.

A familiar frown tugged at Drew’s lips, and the two fell silent once more.

“…You picked a pretty good week to get suspended.” Liam said after a while. “Pretty much nothing’s been happening at school. Just a bunch of review and shit.” Drew nodded.

“It’s like, the opposite of the whole ‘only cool stuff happens when you’re absent’ thing. You know?” Liam added, and Drew shrugged.

“Maybe because I’m suspended, not absent.”

“Heh, true.”

He doesn’t care about you.

Liam’s pace slowed they passed beneath another street lamp, and he took a deep breath before coming to a halt.

“Okay, I can’t keep ignoring this.” He mumbled, and glanced over his shoulder to look back at Drew. “Can we please talk about it now?”

“…Talk about what?”

“You know what! The reason you were even suspended in the first place?” Drew blinked, before letting out a groan.

“That’s none of your business, Liam.” He stated, brushing past him and leaving him alone in the light.

“It absolutely is my business.” Liam claimed as he followed him. “You’re my friend, and Jake- well…” He thought for a moment. “Whatever. Point is, I saw the video, and I want to know what happened. What- what led up to that?” Drew thought a moment before he spoke.

“That freak thought he could try to use me again.” He answered. “He got what he deserved.”

“…Are you serious?” Drew turned to face him. “You can’t actually think that. I mean, you got way too personal towards the end there. Hell, half the shit you said even Henry and I didn’t know about. And now the whole school’s-

“Oh, so he’s allowed to break my trust, but I can’t break his?!” Drew snapped, taking note of the way Liam flinched. “He hurt all of us with his lies! And now, he’s paying the price for that.”

“I… guess. But still, it’s just- I don’t know.”

Liam slowed when the two came across a bridge, and he glanced down at the still waters below. He paused for a moment, before resting his arms along the railing.

“Don’t tell me you still care about him?” Drew ventured, leaning against the railing beside him.

“I don’t know, honestly. Henry keeps telling me how he thinks there’s more Jake isn’t telling us. Maybe there’s a chance he still-”

“Of course Henry’s still trying to be optimistic about this whole thing.” Drew mumbled. “Jake chose his side, he’s-”

“What is it with you and sides, Drew?” Drew stiffened at the question. “Seriously. You’re always talking about them, and you’re always acting like someone can’t have-”

“Would you want to be someone’s second pick?” He asked, and Liam thought for a moment.

“Better than third, right?”

“I’m being serious, Liam. If you're not first, you’re not important. You’re… replaceable.”

He’s gonna use this against you…

“You’ll never mean as much to them as someone else does. And then all you can do is watch as they chase after that person, that somehow did everything better than you ever could.”

Shut up. Shut up.

Drew’s nails dug into the fabric of his sleeves, only to feel Liam’s hand rest against his shoulder.

“Did… you ever try talking about this with Jake?” He asked, and Drew could feel his shoulders tense.

“I- what?! Liam, this has nothing to do with Jake-!”

“Oh, come on. This has everything to do with Jake! It’s obvious you miss him, too!”

Drew fell silent, and that ever-familiar flame began to flicker in his chest. Quickly, he smacked Liam’s hand away.

“Don’t assume shit about me!” He suddenly shouted, turning to face him. “I hate how you do that!”

“Then what am I supposed to do?!” Liam yelled back, which caught Drew off guard. “You don’t tell me anything, and you don’t ask me for anything so I’m left playing this stupid guessing game trying to figure out what you need! If you don’t want me to assume, Drew, just talk to me! Tell me what’s going on, or just- tell me what I can do to help! I want to help you!”

Liar. Liar. Liar. The smoke in his mind was growing heavy.

“I don’t want your help! I don’t want to talk to you about this! I’m fine!”

“For Luni’s sake, Drew! What are you so afraid of?!” He yelled. And Drew could feel his breath catch in his throat.

…What am I so afraid of..?

Drew took in a slow, shaky breath, his eyes finally meeting Liam’s.

“You know what I need, Liam? I need you, to take a fucking hint for once in your life and leave me the hell alone!”

Liam took a step back, but Drew moved closer,

“You think I like having my phone blown up 24/7?! You think I like it when you break into my house in the middle of the night and force me to go along with all your stupid ideas?! You keeping saying you want to help me, but all you do is drive me up a fucking wall!”

Crimson eyes glistened. Coffee eyes burned.

“All you fucking do is lie to me! You think I’m stupid or something?! You think I don’t see through your bullshit?! You already lied to me about Zoey, you lied about having my back and I wouldn’t be surprised if you lied about Jake this whole time, too! Because everyone fucking lies to me, and I know you’re no different. I know you’re nothing but a conniving little bitch who’s gonna leave me the second you get what you want, just like everyone else!!”

…Drew could feel his throat tighten, his eyes stinging from… something.

“So, if you want to something ‘helpful’ for once in your pathetic little life, you’ll stop pretending like you care about me, and you’ll finally leave me the fuck alone!!”

…Drew could barely breathe. His chest was heaving from how loudly he was yelling. Half the neighborhood must’ve been woken up from it. But Liam didn’t say anything, and his gaze dropped to his feet.

“Oh…” He whispered after a while, only to choke out a laugh. “I see, so… everything I ever did to try and help you… that meant nothing to you?”

Drew could feel the corners of his lips curve into a twisted smile. His eyes darkening as he took another step closer.

“It’s about time you got the hint!”

“Wow! Okay. Nice to know that-” He paused, and Drew finally caught glimpse of the tears forming in his eyes. “Nice to know that I’m nothing more than a ‘conniving bitch’ to you.”

And it felt as if a knife had pierced through his stomach, cutting through the flames and causing his heart to miss a beat.

“Liam-?”

“Sorry for trying to help you too much!” The taller shouted, before storming off in the opposite direction.

“Where do you think you’re going?!” Drew called, but Liam didn’t look back.

“I’m leaving!”

“And you’re just gonna leave your mom’s car in my driveway?!”

Liam stopped, before letting out a low sigh.

“Fuck.” He whispered, before turning back around.

“Don’t try to follow me.” He murmured as he passed Drew by, and the shorter scoffed.

“You’ve got to be insane if you think I’d want to see you at all after this! Just get the hell out of here, and stay the hell out of my life!”

And Liam didn’t respond.