Litg S5 - Tumblr Posts

NGL, I want to see this too. I know it's toxic. I know Suresh is giving off more than reg flags. They're like red flashing lights. But I don't care. I want him to fight Finn. I want him to be going crazy with jealousy. I don't want him. I don't want anyone actually. But I want Suresh to feel nothing but pain and jealousy and heartache. WTF is wrong with me?

This what I want to be seein when that next episode come out w Suresh and Finn

LITG Suresh Faceclaim

@mrsbsmooth twisted my arm until I posted this. I didn't want to. She left bruises and everything. Suresh is a toxic douche and I'm not feeling him at all. But I AM obsessed with trying to track down the models for LITG characters. He was a tough one. I looked at so many Sri Lankan male models and no one had his longer face or those prominent lower lids. Until I found Mr. Global Sri Lanka 2017, Menuka Alwis. They probably used a second model for some of his details, but I feel reasonably sure that he was the baseline. Even the shape of his body is very similar. In the second picture, note the look of his arm and his closed fingers and then look at the drawing of Suresh's arm and hand.

Yup, I'm done. Who got paid to say, "You know what would be fun? If everyone gaslit you about your ex for an entire season!" Like the whole thing is just people judging you for having the nerve to have an ex. And he brings all this drama and intrudes upon your life and won't leave you alone no matter how many times you explicitly tell him you aren't interested and everyone makes it seem like you're leading him on. They're all like, WHOA YOU'VE GOT BAGGAGE TO WORK OUT. Nope. HE has baggage. I'm chill. I'm here for fun. Ugh. This season is nothing but loneliness and pain. If you're not a Suresh fan, hang it up. There's nothing here for you. This is so disappointing. It's like they looked at every complaint we've ever made about the game and just put them all into one horrible, horrible season.

Season 5 - Summary (Episodes 17-25)

Hi Folks,

Part Two! I did not rip these myself, but this is my summary and my HCs, so if you're gonna copy/paste these and share them, please at least keep my name in the screenshot (sigh)

Spoilers under the cut, obviously

🤍Episode 17

A chat with Dana where she tells you she's nervous

You can declare BFFs with Dana.

Alfie tells Meera she'll be fine.

Arlo gets in a Kat fight lol. Kat is being a mega bitch to everyone, going on about how secure she is.

Eddie & Finn ask for your help and you can graft on them. Doesn't change shit though

Recoupling:

Eddie picks Dana

Finn picks Kat

Suresh picks Arlo

Cliff...

🤍Episode 18

...hanger.

Alfie picks MC (obviously)

Bye Meera, you're literally the best looking girl on this island.

Eddie tells you he wants to cool shit down with you.

Eddie literally, I shit you not, says "I don't want to waste my time with you". Backtracks and digs himself into a hole of telling you he wants to focus on Dana.

Meera is stupidly nice about leaving, but holy shit, I feel so bad for anyone who isn't pursuing Alfie rn. She is devestated. And if you're not pursuing him you have to stand there and be all "Yeah, he's just a friend."

Arlo is pissed about it, and is like "I know who I would've picked if I were Alfie." Rude...

Holy shit this girl was here for an entire one day and we are getting the world's longest farewell just goooooooo

Oh my god though, you have a choice of saying "Goodbye", "Something Sexy", or "Good Riddance". If you pick "Good Riddance" everyone gets soooo mad omg omg omg 💀💀

Dana pulls you for a chat, and she cracks on to you, but it's actually stupidly cute and she talks about her cat Georgie.

Alfie overhears and you have to choose between them. Whichever one you don't pick leaves and you have a convo with the other. Then you get to kiss the one you picked.

Bla bla bla, Arlo rubs it in your face that she's with Suresh and you can tell her to fuck off.

Alfie/Dana invites you to join them on the daybeds, and you get to make out a little, some under the clothes stuff, nothing that exciting.

Then you go SKINNY DIPPING

I literally cannot tell if this is supposed to be a sex scene? It just talks about 'bodies bobbing up and down in the water?'

Regardless, Eddie the creeper is watching again.

🤍Episode 19

Can get a little steamy with Alfie but he turns it off and wants to take it slow.

I beg thee, a crumb? A crumb of cock? Please? Somebody?

Going back into the bedroom, and as expected, Eddie has told everyone about your shenanigans.

Suresh is having an absolute fucking tantrum about it, I am losing my shit, I love it so much.

Holy shit you can be such an incredible bitch here. Arlo accuses you of hooking up with Alfie to make Suresh jealous, and you can be like "Yeah, I am". Alfie gets soooo cut.

Dana is properly devastated about you turning her down and is sulking a bit.

Arlo and Kat being annoying and getting in a lil bitch fight again.

Breakfast date in the garden yay!

Alfie is either very cute or very awkward depending on whether or not you picked him.

Finn is literally flirting with Arlo in front of both Kat and Suresh and I am living for it. I want him, he's amazing, he's drama in a bottle.

Kiss Alfie/Dana again in front of everyone yay.

Arlo pulls you aside and tells you Suresh will. not. shut. up about you. She thinks he's angry about you and Alfie/Dana. She's annoyed about it and wants reassurance that you're not going after him.

🤍Episode 20

Beach rescue challenge!

LITEXT: Islanders, you will take it in turns to complete the obstacle course before rescuing your partner from the paddling pool. The girls will vote on which boy did it best, and the boys on which girl did it best. #WetAndWild #SexyRescue

You get a kiss at the end yay.

Eddie gets disqualified for skipping a section of the course boo.

Finn and Kat are bickering, and halfway through the course he reveals he had a sexy dream about MC involving sex in a bouncy castle. Who is this drama magnet? Oh my god, I want him.

Kat's like booo, keep your dreams to yourself. Like I'm sorry, girl, have some self respect. He has disrespected you by telling everyone. Trash man (leave him for me)

Suresh does the most unrealistic run of the course ever.

Dana launches a water balloon at him, which he catches then sexily bursts on his ripped abs.

Suresh audaciously runs down the slide and dives through the sand tunnel. He leaps the grassy obstacle, scissor kicking a flying water balloon as he does. You notice his soaked abs glisten in the sunlight.

The winner of the boys is Suresh, winner of the girls is MC. You go on a double date with your partners.

You go for a bit of a cheeky snog with Alfie/Dana.

Suresh catches you and there's a lot of sexual tension, it's kinda hot. Sneaky sneaky. He tells you he's wearing the black shirt you got him for Valentine's day on your date, and tells you to wear that black dress.

You can literally pour a smoothie over him ahahhahhahahahahaha

He's all "You know I wish I was going on the date with you, right?"

Author's note, all this sneaking around behind Arlo's back is 🔥, I am such a hypocrite.

🤍Episode 21

Suresh is flirting with you while on his date with Arlo. He specifically says certain things really loudly and then glances at you instead of her.

Ok, stop, this is actually fucking with my head.

On the date, Alfie keeps trying to make a toast, but he keeps getting distracted by your eyes. I- what- excuse me!!! Do not!!!? Give me such feelings?!? For this pixel man?!? SWOON!

Suresh is boasting about helping deliver 6 puppies, and Alfie's all "Did Suresh just say he wanted to give birth to a dog?"

I am beside myself. Alfie/Dana script is just *chefs kiss* 💀💀💀

He is completely down to be absolutely fucking with Suresh & Arlo and making it look like he's telling you really funny jokes, I am in love with him? This FTL arc is woof.

Alfie wants to like, commit to you for the rest of the summer? What does that even mean. *Gasp* does it mean I get laid?

Arlo pulls you aside and is all smug about Suresh. Gem Option where she spills some tea about what he said to her. He told Arlo that he's ready to move on from you.

You can then rub it in her face that he wore that shirt for you lol lol lol lol. You can tell her he was flirting with you, too. But she doesn't believe you.

You then tell Dana that Suresh was flirting with you on the date hehehe.

Finn wants to apologise to Kat for flirting with Arlo at breakfast so he gets you and Dana to distract her. Finn's running around with candles behind her. To stop her from turning around Dana blabs about Suresh's flirting.

Kat turns around and Finn spelled out SOZ with candles omfg who is the comedian on the writing team, I'm fucking dying of laughter here, this is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life bar none.

FINALLY YA GIRL GETS LAID WOOOOOOOOOO PARTY TIMEEE 🎉🎉🎉🎉❤️❤️❤️🍾🍾🍾💗💗💗🍆🍆🍆

Oh god. Suresh is looking at you.

Somebody on the writing team has a fucking exhibitionist kink.

You can glare at him, but Arlo catches you looking either way, and literally gets out of bed and comes over ready to confront you.

🤍Episode 22

Suresh is literally lying in bed giggling like a naughty schoolboy and you're the one getting dragged, what in the fuck?

Alfie/Dana gets mad about it though, and is like, I don't wanna talk about it.

I am so over this bullshitttttttt just let me get dicked down *sob*

🥺🥺🥺 Alfie wakes up and is like 'you know what, IDC. I'm not letting Suresh's games get in the way. He's jealous, let him stare if he wants... unless it bothers you and then I'll make him stop.' (This is almost exactly what Bruno said to Jas about Youcef in TTIS, just quietly, not accusing anyone of anything...)

Arlo is getting stupidly possessive over Suresh, why in the fuck they gotta make the black girl the villain AGAIN I swear to god.

OKAY WAIT THOUGH

This flirting is actually.... getting... kind of good?

Did they have a different writer for these? What the hell?

There's an extremely sexy, flirty conversation with Suresh, in the kitchen, where he's eating an Orange (Clearly meant to be a mandarin, not an orange.)

There's a very cute conversation with Alfie/Dana, where you just roll your eyes and say Suresh is being an alpha.

ALFIE_HAPPY: Don't look too alpha from here. Looking up towards the gym you spot Arlo showing off her boxing moves to Suresh. He winces in fear with every jab at his hands. Alfie laughs to himself.

Alfie/Dana confesses they're falling for you. For real.

🤍Episode 23

BFF pulls you aside and wants to know you feel about Alfie/Dana LI. They ask how you feel about Suresh's flirting, and tell you to go pull your LI and Suresh aside and figure out if it's the real deal, or just fanny flutters.

You go to the LI first, . If you stay on the daybeds it kinda stays light-hearted, but if you go to the living room it gets super melty and cute. Either way though, they tell you they're all in for you. Want to take you home and meet the family, etc. (Baby, we are half way through. We haven't even been to Casa yet, baby is gonna get their heart broken omg.)

Suresh then pulls you aside. Here we go.

Suresh fidgets, for the first time showing a flash of vulnerability. SURESH: OK. I’m just gonna come right out and say it. PLAYER: You do that. SURESH: I only coupled up with Arlo because I thought that you wanted a chance to move on.

Dear God, my sincerest apologies to anyone not romancing Suresh.

If you paid to go to the bedroom you get a slightly saucier description of the reminiscing. You reminisce about a particularly sexy encounter.

Suresh leans in to kiss you and you get to snog, hug, or swerve him.

Kat will see you, and reacts accordingly. *Shock horror, gasp, is shook*.

🤍Episode 24

Kat says she's not going to say anything

BFF pulls you aside again, spill the tea.

You get a text woohoo - Oh god, it's Truth or Dare.

This is going to be difficult to put into a Tumblr post. Bear with me.

1st - Eddie - Picks DARE

SEXY - Do a sexy dance for everyone (Does a generally unsexy dance)

SEXY - Sexily kiss one islander. (Kisses Dana)

FUNNY - Do an animal impression (Does a really bad wolf impression)

FUNNY - Do an islander impression (Does a terrible Finn impression which is actually hysterical)

2nd - Arlo - Picks TRUTH

No choice. Kat asks "When was the last time you lied?"

Arlo responds: "Just then, when I said you were smart enough to think of a good question."

3rd - Kat - Picks DARE

No choice. Dana dares Kat to suck your big toe. You can decline and she does it to Finn instead.

4th - Alfie - Picks DARE

No choice. Dana dares Alfie to act out one of his past sexual experiences. It is heavily implied that he fucked a cow. But it's revealed he just snuck into the bushes and a cow stuck its head in and scared them.

5th - Dana - Picks DARE

No choice. Suresh asks her if she's ever been in love, and she says no. If you're romancing her she says she's getting there.

6th - Suresh - Picks DARE

Have you ever been in love? He says yes. 'I told you many many times."

Would you ever cheat again? He says no. "I wouldn't do anything to risk a relationship ever again."

Would you ever get married? He says he's into the idea.

7th - MC

Pick Truth: They ask "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Options are:

"Yes, Absolutely"

"No, Love takes time"

"I'm not sure"

Pick Dare: They say. "We dare you to show us your 'O' face, with sound effects.

You do it, and everyone is like, slack jawed, hard, wet, etc. MC is a hot fuckin' bitch. Sex noises ftw.

*Gem Option* - Another dare. Kat dares you to do a sexy belly dance balancing an object on your head. You do it successfully and everyone gets pretty excited about it but nothing actually happens other than Eddie saying it turned him on.

8th - Finn - Picks DARE

No choice. You tell him to kiss the girl he finds the most attractive. Arlo tells him to strip for her.

Finn walks up to Arlo and snogs her, throwing in a bit of a striptease.

Kat gets genuinely fucking hurt by it (as she should, wtf dude.) But everyone starts laughing telling her to chill out.

KAT: Finn making a fool out of me is a good laugh is it? KAT: Somebody being made a fool of is a joke to you guys? DANA: It’s not that Kat, it’s just that Finn can’t help but be funny. KAT: Right, well, it’s a good job I’m not the only one being made a fool of then. KAT: Ain’t that right, MC? Everyone turns to look at you. You feel your body tense awkwardly. KAT: How about you tell Alfie what a fool he is? KAT: And how you’ve been cracking on with Suresh behind his back. There is absolute silence around the firepit.

Surprise pikachu face.

Arlo storms off. Alfie/Dana storms off. Kat storms off.

OMG Finn is actually devestated he hurt Kat's feelings awwwwwww!!!!!!

He's all "I can be so stupid sometimes."

And then....

AND THEN......

After looking all over the villa, you decide to head up to the terrace in hopes of finding Alfie and explaining everything. It’s time to get some stuff off your chest. Time to set everything right. You arrive on the terrace and are stunned into silence.

You find Alfie and Kat kissing each other.

PLAYER: Alfie?! Kat?!

Note: If you're on a Dana route, she's kissing Eddie.

🤍Episode 25 - DRAMA CENTRAL

Excuse me while I go fuck myself, apparently.

You run into Finn, and he's like hahaha yeah nah, that would never happen. But Alfie's like omg I'm so sorry. After everything you just fucking spurted, about falling for us, why you little...

Finn still thinks it's a prank.

It is, just to be clear, not a fucking prank.

They really fucking just Cherrygated us.

Finn is now extremely pissed.

Kat & Alfie are both angry as fuck that MC and Finn are pissed off about it.

There's an extremely loud argument about who kissed who, with both of them claiming the other initiated it.

Somehow, regardless of what you did or didn't do with Suresh, you end up the bad guy. Alfie's all "What matters is you cracking on with that cheating ex of yours" and "Save me the details" and "I can't be around you right now" Um ex-fucking-cuse me?

Alfie storms off (Bye Felicia)

Kat blames you for everything, saying it was your idea to dare Finn to kiss someone. You can take the blame (um no.) or Blame someone else, but regardless, nothing happens.

Note: If you're on a Dana route, she kisses Eddie and admits that she initiated it.

You're hiding from everything on the roof terrace and Suresh comes to check on you, admitting that it would've hurt more because of what happened in the past between the two of you.

He reveals he came to LI to give you closure, and because he needed it as well. He was going to come on, apologise, answer questions, and then leave.

She asks what happened, and Suresh is all "I looked into your eyes, and I knew straight away I couldn't give up on you. I had to stay and take a shot at winning you back."

Suresh says he wants you back, and says you have to give him an answer tonight.

Finn pulls you aside, and says he's seeing everything in a different light. He wants you. But before you can give him an answer, the girls pull you aside for drama management

The girls force you to pick between Alfie and Suresh. But when you go to find whichever one you picked....

Girls, The boys have headed off to Casa Amor and some sexy singletons are now heading your way! #HeadsWillTurn #CasaRemorse

I noted that Eddie doesn't have an outfit. I haven't read a spoiler for it yet, but I'm gonna assume he's going home. Good riddance.

Oh Lulu. You're super gorgeous and sexy, but the outfits they've given you... sigh. Thank you for your time and effort in doing this for us: @mrsbsmooth @sophie260896, @caitkaminski, and @coalescecasketentertainment

Islanders Heart Rate Outfits!!

in the files the islanders heart rate outfits where added, they will be under the cut!!

i just wanna say a HUGE thank you too @mrsbsmooth @sophie260896 & @caitkaminski for help on putting these outfits on the islanders!! and another huge thank you to @coalescecasketentertainment for having the doll sprites of the og islanders up on their page!

The boys:

all of the boys were put together by @mrsbsmooth!! thank you so much suzi <3

Suresh

Alfie

Finn

The girls:

thank you too @mrsbsmooth for putting together kat! @sophie260896 for putting together gabi and allowing me to post her! and @caitkaminski for helping me put together dana!!

Kat

Gabi

Dana

dana also has a hat but cait & i couldn't figure out how to put it on (why fusebox)

Lulu

honestly everyone looks so good in their outfits, i'm excited to see how ours turn out!!

Thoughts on S5 this week

I'd talk about the new S5 episodes but I feel like I've done enough primal screaming at my phone for the day.

Do you remember when Facebook was paid by some scientists to let them do psychological manipulation experiments on us to study our emotions? Like they would only send people sad stuff for prolonged periods of time, to see if their posts would increase in negative feelings as they were presented with negative things? Someone paid Fusebox to study how we process rage. I'm sure of it. I'm not a fan of Lottie, but I wish she was around to fucking smudge the villa and rid it of bad vibes. Cuz, once the bad vibes are gone, the whole place would be empty of Islanders. Which, to be honest, would be an improvement.

On a positive note, I feel super vindicated about how much I have not liked Alfie since day dot. So there's that.

Suzi I cannot... 🤣🤣🤣

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about tumblr it’s that feeding the Suresh Stans is fun.

A lot of people were complaining that he was very covered up for the heart rate challenge leaks, so I put him in something else.

Enjoy!

Spoilers below the cut obviously.

For the way they are writing this season making everyone act like that I'm kinda scared for what Bobby is going to say. Please don't ruin my baby please I'm begging.

WARNING: Overly deep rant about Suresh ahead.

I have been complaining about this from day one. Suresh doesn't seem to view MC as a separate person. All he reminisces about is their sex life. Beyond how MC looks in a bikini, Suresh never compliments anything about them, though he DOES frequently tell them that they are boring without him and that MC needs him to be interesting and exciting again. Gross. He doesn't seem to actually care what MC wants or needs. No matter how many times they reject him, he shrugs it off and says that he doesn't believe them. In the last ep, he said lots of pretty things, but they're really all about him. He's decided since he's not over MC, MC couldn't possibly be over him, either. Therefore he will save her by offering himself back to her.

What a hero he is 🙄 MC is simply an extension of his love of himself, especially his love of his own dick.

My main issue with Suresh is that he only remembers or wants to talk about our sexy moments… Like was it only ever just s$x for him?? Why not remind us of an wholesome moment. They’re turning everything overly sexual. I get Love Island is supposed to be sexy but this is an overkill & cringe. Did we ever really get to know each other? I bet this man couldn’t even tell you MCs fav color

I love you so fucking much @throughthejunobushjunobush

Yo Gabba Gabi sucks. Suresh sucks. Alfie sucks. Arlo sucks. Kat sucks. Eddie sucks. Finn sucks. Dana SUUUUUUUCKS. Honestly I never thought there would be a villa "bestie" so awful that they'd make me miss ERIKAH. Yet here I am, longing for that fickle, jealous, me-me-me emotional toddler to call me a cow before ruining my relationship and then somehow being surprised that I'm not her friend anymore.

Dana has 10 different personalities and not one of them is an actual friend to MC, no matter what BS she spouts.

Say what you will about Erikah's beliefs regarding MC, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

Girls Just Wanna Be Cunts 💃

✨An Ex in the Villa rant✨

I can’t effectively express my disappointment in the women this season. But I’ll try to anyway. Spoilers for today’s episodes ahead.

Before Casa, Dana could not STOP herself from interrupting MC when she was having any remotely intriguing conversation with someone so she could have a “friend chat”. But now MC has been cheated on AGAIN, denied the opportunity to resolve it, and to top it all off, the woman her ex she was ready to propose to shows up and treats MC like she is somehow to blame??? MC could actually use a friend right about now! But Dana is off giggling and flirting and ignores MC completely.

I was very ready to team up with Gabi and commiserate over how we’d both been wronged, but somehow she’s mad at MC?

You brought up it up, girl! Sorry that you suck.

I’m a reasonable person, though. So I try to reach out like the gracious goddess that I am. And this is what I get.

And then there’s Arlo. She wouldn’t want to fade into the bitchy background, so she rises to the occasion as usual.

Thus concludes another week of disrespecting MC interrupted only by brief unimpressive, generic chat up lines by lackluster LIs. Once again supporting my hypothesis that FB is attempting to troll and punish us. Somebody write a rage fanfic rewrite, stat!!

You HAVE to read this. I am not a Finn fan. I couldn't care less about him. I'm SO GLAD I read it. NSFW obviously. Go! Go read and report back!

Written for Kinktober, but it's so fun that I just had to share it early 💕

A little Finn fic. NSFW. Short, but oh boy is it sweet.

Read it on AO3. Not for the faint of heart.

Dana sucks. Once again Fusebox feels petty. OH YOU DON'T WANT FRIEND ISLAND. GUESS WHAT? NO FRIENDS AT ALL! I'm all for nuanced relationships. I too love Hope, she's a great friend. I don't mind someone a little messy. I love Chels. I wouldn't trust her with my secrets, but she still seems to have heart and is sincere in caring about MC. But the way this season is written it's impossible to feel like a single person actually likes us. I'm not a Suresh girl, so for me his attention feels very much like, I WANT WHAT I CAN'T HAVE and doesn't feel like he actually likes MC so much as wants to prove he can get them back, regardless of what they actually want. Even S4, which bored me greatly, had several excellent friends. Even if they had their own agendas and desires, they were still kind.

My love of a good rant is all that is keeping me going at this point. I'm refusing to spend gems on any scene, because it doesn't even matter if you do or not. Everyone reacts as if you did anyhow.

Angie would have none of this bullshit. She'd start punching fools for MC because she's got your back, always.

It’s official – all my previous MCs are ready to go to the villa to burn it down and hug my S5 MC tightly. I know it’s just a game, but see how everyone treats her (especially Dana who should be her bestie) make me feel sick. In previous seasons we had so many great friendship options (so far I love Chelsea, Seb and Kobi/Cora), and now I feel like everyone, if they could, would throw MC away. . .

SAME BESTIE 😭😭😭 Dana is the worst friend we've ever had point blank period. Suresh route or not!! being that I am on Suresh route this week she told MC that Suresh sleeping alone means absolutely nothing instead of supporting her but in the SAME breath told Kat that Finn in bed with another girl was more than likely nothing??? NAUR girly... pack it up. You're not my MC's friend AT ALL.

Loved Chelsea ❤️🥰, when you're not on a Noah route Hope is such a good friend and I really loved her too💕, Elladine was my season 3 bestie and again another 10/10, and Angie in S4 💖 all of my girls would've had MCs back!! Even if Angie didn't like Suresh (I would imagine she wouldnt) she wouldve still been supportive of MCs decisions.

A tragically satisfying S5 moment

What can I say that hasn't been said about today's episodes? What an absolute clusterfuck of a season. I feel awful for people on Suresh routes. I know your hearts and hopes are hurting. For those not on a Suresh route, it's not much better. I straight up told everyone I wanted space. I refused every gem conversation. Every single one. I don't care. So far, Lulu is the only character I actually like and that's because she hasn't spoke enough to infuriate me. Also I think she's super hot. But I will say that one of these episodes gave us non-Suresh players the most satisfying moment of the season. No it's not romantic, but for the first time, you can bail on a clear-the-air chat. And you can bail with FEROCITY. Gabi tried to pull me into her BS, as if her history with Suresh was my responsibility to sort, and my MC was having none of it. I replayed it just for the satisfaction of doing it exactly the same. SPOILER SCREEN CAPS AHEAD!

Ohhhhh man that's better than a cupcake from a naked Bobby. **

**I'm joking, nothing is better than that, but this is pretty damn satisfying.

Look away Suresh stans 😆 This is for the bitter bitches and haters. For we are legion.

@throughthejunobush, please enjoy.

mc and suresh

The resemblance is uncanny.

Found a face claim for Nicolas!

So today's eps happened.

Welp. My thoughts are all over the place. Enjoy.

No bits. Not even a kiss. Fuck everything. Also I had to sit through not one but two Finn love confessions. I skipped all the previous ones so I can only imagine how tedious it is for those who have basically seen this same scene with him four times now. Also, I was nice to Gabi while she sat there and daydreamed about how things might play out with Suresh if I'm the one dumped. GABI IS A DICKHEAD.

AND WHY DIDN'T I GET ONE ON ONE TIME WITH MY BELOVED LULU? WHY DO YOU HATE US, FUSEBOX? AND NO SHOWER SEX? I WAS PROMISED SHOWER SEX.

Onto the positives (sort of). We got to tell off Meera, Nicolas, and Suresh. I told Suresh I'd never forgive him and want no connection with him ever and he said, "It doesn't get any clearer than that." Yep. And I only had to say it half a dozen times for it to become crystal.

Was Alfie cold for what he did to Meera? Yes. Was it hilarious? Also yes. I legit laughed out loud when he went, "Errrrr." GOLD.

I will say for me, this was one of the most fun eps of the season because Nicolas was hysterically funny to me. When he chastised Kat for believing the lies he spread I almost choked to death on my laugh snort. Though it was a little unsatisfying how happy he was to leave. He's all STICK WITH MY PLAN. Sir, your plan didn't work. You're leaving. You suck and you should feel bad about it.

Anyway, I liked it when Kat said this:

Because all I could hear in my head was this 😂😂😂

God I love that movie.

Ahem. Back to complaining. Could we not with Meera's prolonged goodbye scenes and even longer post dumping scenes where everyone kisses her ass for being so great? Soldiers going off to fight a winless war get less heartfelt, tearful farewells than this salty bitch. For as long as I had to sit through her bullshit (twice) I want the same length of time dedicated to everyone telling MC how wonderful she is and apologizing PROFUSELY, groveling really, for ever doubting her awesomeness. "Sorrrrrry," with abashed face ain't cutting it.

Oh also, when Meera found out she was leaving and Dana asked me what I thought, I chose to say that it changed nothing. Her being there or not didn't make any difference to me. And Dana had the nerve...

Yes. Yes I am. Meera has been nasty to me when I literally did nothing to deserve it. I was nice to her. I told Alfie to choose her. Alfie knows I'm not into him and I haven't spoken to him privately once since he came back with her. I've done everything to get out of their way and in return I was treated like trash by her and no one stood up for me. But now I'm supposed to pretend to be sad that Meera won't be around to insult me or call me a liar or a backstabber? Dana, you can fucking take a long walk off a short pier.

THE GALL. I told everyone that I forgive nothing. I don't forgive Meera. I don't forgive Suresh. I don't forgive Nicolas. I don't forgive any of you dicks. I AM PETTY AND ANGRY. I meant to do a self-righteous, above-it-all angel MC route, but I'm too mad 😂 I told off Meera more than once and it was delightful.

Overall, it was a little emotionally satisfying, but the fun stuff was overshadowed by yet another episode of everyone licking Meera's booty hole. Like when did she make this miracle transformation they're going on about? It seems more like she was always a bitch and she just didn't hide it on her return. We didn't get enough character development from anyone to see an actual transformation.

Oh well.

I will say, these eps inspired a fic idea. One that isn't about Suresh getting kicked in the balls, I mean. I have three of those going already. No, this is something else. I want to finish TSIME first, but I think I'm cooking up something special for S5. Mwhahahahahaaaaa.

I should probably put a read more break somewhere in this, because it's super long, but I'm cramping and don't know where to put it. Let's blame Meera.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! Thank you @mrsbsmooth! She's so beautiful! Marisol hair FTW! But AJ's hair also looks amazing on her.

Lulu if she had decent hair and not-blonde eyebrows.

For @sparxaf

IT'S AN S5 RANT KIND OF DAY I GUESS

I have not finished the episode but Suresh looked good in his pilot outfit. And I did something I have not done the entire season. I chose not to reject his dance. I have literally turned him down and yelled at him every single chance, but I was like, well I kind of hate everyone, let's see how it goes. And the dance was good. It was hot. AND THEN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DANCED ON GABI.

Dude, you literally jumped from me to her. Just like SMP. Just like our actual relationship. I cannot fathom the writing this season, I truly can't. Just on the basis of not wanting to hurt MC I cannot believe he would keep doing this with Gabi in front of her. DO NOT SAY HOW MUCH IT HURT TO LOSE ME AND THEN KISS THE GIRL YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH, IN FUCKING FRONT OF ME. DON'T SAY YOU STILL CARE AND THEN GRIND ON HER ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF ME.

What the fuck is up with this season, ya'll? Why isn't there one decent guy? I don't really think it's gonna happen but I'm now leaning into the people who are convinced that Bobby is coming in as a contestant. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET BOBBY COME IN AS A CONTESTANT. MC DESERVES SOMEONE WHO IS ALL HEART EYES FOR HER AND HER ALONE. ALSO CUPCAKES. SHE DESERVES CUPCAKES.

"Get tired of my “baggage”? Well, hit the fucking gym, Alfie, if you can’t carry it, I don’t care."

YASSSSSSS. AND SERIOUSLY. EFF HIM. ALSO HE STILL NEVER APOLOGIZED FOR THE KISS. BECAUSE HE STILL THINKS YOU FUCKED AROUND WITH SURESH EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T.

Spoilers! (Sorry!)

“I told Finn I was done with you”

“It was nice to have Meera put all her eggs in my basket”

nghaaAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

And why exactly were you done with me, Alfie? What was it that I did that made you so appalled by me? Give a friendly hug to Suresh as we were trying to resolve our “baggage”? Not hearing me out and kissing Kat’s face off behind my back as some petty revenge? For your information, Alfie, I also put all my eggs in your basket! And not once - not even once was I disloyal to you! And you? What did you do? Get tired of my “baggage”? Well, hit the fucking gym, Alfie, if you can’t carry it, I don’t care. You believe Kat of all people about a kiss that didn’t happen and go ahead and cheat? And then you have the AUDACITY to even CONSIDER that I might want to be with you after Meera is dumped. You know who’s done with you? This girl! Me! I am! Fuck you, Alfie. Fuck. You.

I had so many more rants in me about yesterday's episode. So many. But you know what? I'm tired. I'm sure I'll have plenty to rant about next week. Today? Enjoy this picture of a smiling hedgehog in front of a sunflower.

Um, can you bitches stop trying to make me fall in love with Suresh? It' rude. I do not like him. His character is trash IMHO. But dammmmmmn he is so.... so pretty. I'm not religious at all, but I think I need Jesus to save me from that man's face. Which is lucky because there's Firecrotch Jesus right there next to him. I LOVE RED HAIRED MEN, BUT WHY THEY MAKE HIM LOOK SO MUCH LIKE THE MESSIAH? IT'S WEIRD.

Also, as I told @throughthejunobush when I saw this: I'd fuck that Eddie too. I wouldn't call him after. And I'm sure the sex would be terrible. But still, I'd fuck him.

LITG: Ex In The Villa (OG Islanders) Artbreeders

disclaimer: i used the original art from the game to make these artbreeder portraits