Kink Critical - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

if you’re able to recognize that if a woman is starving herself or cutting herself or otherwise harming herself, there are underlying issues that need to be figured out and addressed, both with the individual woman and with the societal pressures that force her to resort to such harmful behaviors, then you should be able to recognize that this same work needs to be done when considering women who enjoy being harmed during sex.

just because she is sexually gratified by it, and even if she actively, enthusiastically consents to it, does not mean that the behavior/experience is suddenly harmless, or that it’s inherently exempt from critique.

if a woman is consensually with someone who is sexually gratified by hurting/beating/degrading/abusing her, if she herself is being sexually gratified by being abused, we need to be asking why.

if you would worry about a woman who gets physical (but not sexual) pleasure from being stabbed, and purposely seeks out people who she can trust to stab her, then you need to worry about the woman who asks to be choked, whipped, electrocuted, and otherwise abused during sex.

almost every single man I’ve met in recent years has been into rough sex or kinky sex/preferred it which is terrifying, and many men will have rough sex with a woman as the default and let me tell you having a strange man you’re having sex with for the first time try to choke you or throw you around in the bedroom or hold your neck down is terrifying and these are like Feminist ™ Liberal ™ Woke ™ men who buy into all the bdsm garbage liberal feminist rhetoric although they also don’t care deep down in their blackened souls

I was also into DD/LG too, It also makes looking as young as possible a MUST so you begin to fear even ageing out of your teen years which is fucked. I also began to think that in order to be nurtured and cared for I owed a man my submission and pain first. When really all I wanted was the "aftercare" and coddling and the chance to just act cute and goofy for a while. It's really evil because we deserve care ALL THE TIME not just after we endure pain/humiliation from a sick psuedo-pedophile.

I remember crying on my 20th birthday because I was worried my THIRTY ONE YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND was going to find another “babygirl”….I’d forgotten about that. … DDlg/BDSM is so fucked. It’s so fucked.

In 2019 we grow from sex positivity to sex responsibility, meaning we:

call out shitty people who are just abusers and using kink/polyamory to mask it and stop supporting them

recognize that sometimes hypersexuality can be a form a self-harm for some people

keep kinks and fetishes in appropriate spaces and not bringing them out into general public spaces and thereby involving people in scenes they aren’t consenting to 

understand that some fetishes are inherently unhealthy and some illegal to actually engage in for good reason and ignoring that is irresponsible at best

Doesn't condone real misogyny, just gets off on it.

not fond of this timeline ladies

men are literally like “my biggest fantasy is seeing a woman locked in a cage being beaten like she deserves” and people who call themselves feminists are just like “haha nice :)”

people underestimate how complex and corrupted a women’s relationship to our own desires can be (because we have spent a lifetime being told what we want doesn’t matter…in general…and that we exist to serve and please others)

For a lot of men who are into kink, all the various trappings--leather corsets, latex bodysuits, bondage, petplay, whatever--are only additions; what they really get off on is degrading women.

But this also applies to men who practice vanilla sex, in that what they find sexy are often things that are painful or humiliating for women.

At the end of the day, a lot of men don't even LIKE women, not really: they like that they can take their anger out on us, that they have power over us, and that they can use it to hurt and even murder us.

Do men like women physically? All evidence points to no. They don't like our natural bodies, whether that's our hair, fat, breast shape or size, even the shapes of our vulvas they don't like. They prefer the constructs they're come up with--fictional creations that very often look like airbrushed versions of teenage girls.

Do they like women mentally? No. No, they do not. There is so much evidence showi ng men to be either terrified by, or contemptuous of, women who are smarter than them, that you couldn't list all the evidence in one place.

Do they like women emotionally? Again, evidence suggests no. Men/boys treating the women in their lives like either therapists or verbal--or actual!--punching bags, is not the same thing as liking someone emotionally. For them, every relationship with women must be neatly, ruthlessly categorized. Fuckable and unfuckable, pretty and ugly, useful and useless. Women are not people, to men like this. Not really. They do not think we exist as real beings...this is how you have guys who are serial cheaters who act like it's their girlfriend or wife's fault, because she wasn't doing what he wanted sexually. Exactly like someone shopping around at different stores to buy clothes; they feel no loyalty to the store owners because they exist for them only to sell garments. That's how it really is with a lot of men.

I feel like a lot of feminist praxis and philosophy can be easily condensed into one thought, which is that, to a disturbingly high number of men, women are things. Objects. Furniture.

Some guys like slipcovers on their couches. Others like leather couches. Some guys go and buy obscenely expensive couches to brag about them. But at the end of the day, they still just treat the couch like a couch.

I just want to say that I remember when the first allegations of R.Kelly having sexually abusive relationships with young women came out and hordes of you came out to defend him in the name of BDSM and kink shaming only to find out that he’s actually been horrifically sexually abusing them as was stated all along. And this is what happens when you don’t think critically about what is sexually permissible and dig into what healthy sexual dynamics look like; you end up creating a safe space for abusers and look like a fool on the back end.