Kim Taehung - Tumblr Posts
#3 All I Want Is A Break
Angsty cause this job hunting process is relentless.
Y/N and Yoongi are best friends, then lovers, until he decides he wants to find out what life can be without her.
Pairing: Yoongi x female reader + Taehung
Genre: Non-IdolAU / Angst / Smut in the next part
Warnings: Curse words/ heartache/ it’s quite angsty and will have smut if we continue.
Word count: 3.8K+
Note: Picked up my old writing to give it something new. Let me know how you like it?
—
It’s strange. I’m standing in front of him. I know him. I know this man inside out. Have you ever stood in front of someone you have known your entire life, but they suddenly felt like a stranger to you? I could hear him speaking, and he was not making sense to me.
“Don’t you want to, maybe, see other people? Know how they are? Know how you’ll be with them? Will you be someone different, or will you be the same? I mean, you and I know each other inside out. But, we don’t know how anybody else is! We don’t know how great or, even worse, it might be if we are with other people. Don’t you ever feel like finding out?”
This was Yoongi, my Yoongi. My best friend since we were 7, boyfriend since - did it matter? He wanted to explore being with other people.
“Think about it, Y/N,” He didn’t stop. “Jae and I were discussing this. How the different relationships change you, and how they make you grow? Have you never thought about this? Don’t look at me like that,” He rolled his eyes.
He rolled his eyes as I stared, sitting in front of him, my brain trying to catch up and pre-empt his next dialogue.
“It’s been too long? Don’t you feel so? We have always been together! Exploring, or even I don’t know, taking a break isn’t a bad idea. To just discover ourselves…” He took another sip of the beer he had poured for us. My glass remained untouched. His, refilled twice, was almost empty.
This entire week had felt off. It felt like the music had changed, and I didn’t know the artist anymore. He went on. His life-changing discussion with our friends. Our friends? His friends. Life-changing decisions, all in the two dinners I missed. “It’s just a break. Nothing more,” His decision was made. When my boyfriend decided something, he went through with it. “We spend some time apart from each other. I’ll go live with Jae, and we can just explore and see life without each other in our lives. Just a small break,” He said so easily.
“You’re my best friend.” My first words as I tried to make sense of the situation. He had been my best friend since 7. We did everything together since we were 7. And, when we started dating, I needed no one else.
“And you’re mine. But, listen to me,” he took my hands in his, pulling me out of my static stance, and shaking me up to see what was happening. “We need to know who we are, without each other too. I think it is healthy for me to want that. I’m not saying I want to break up. I just want a break from yo-” I pulled my hands away. “That’s not what I mean.” He realised he fucked up with the wrong words. Like he had not been fucking up till now. I knew him inside out.
Maybe he could see the betrayal on my face or the tears welling up in my eyes. I was having an out-of-body experience. It felt like I could see myself breaking down, but that hurt hadn’t seeped in yet. “What I mean is, I just want to know life as a person of my own. Who I am without us being together cause we have been together was so long. I want to know, do I actually like apple pie, or do I like it because you like it? That discussion just had me thinking if I can be the best for you if I’m not my own person."
"So, you’re basically saying that you don’t want me in your life anymore?” I frowned.
“Don’t be dramatic,” He sighed.
I laughed. “That’s literally what you just said."
"I don’t know why you aren’t getting this.” He raised his voice. “You know, Maria said you won’t get it, and you don’t.” he shook his head, and sat back.
“Maria said that I won’t get it? You’ve known these people for a month. You’ve known me for years!” I couldn’t stop the tears. “But, it’s not about them. If you want to break up with me, have the fucking balls to do it. Don’t come at me with, ‘I don’t know who I am/ we have always been together.’ Straight up, tell me you don’t want me anymore.” I walked back towards our room so I could pack a duffle bag and get out of this apartment.
“That’s not it. I just want a break. We are in university, in a new environment. This is the perfect time for it. Y/N!” He shouted as I stuffed my clothes in a bag. “Where are you going? You don’t know anyone. We are literally just discussing,” He was technically right. All my friends were his friends. It had always been like that. Yoongi socialised, and I tagged along. It had been a month since we started uni, and even though our courses were different, we lived together, and I spent time hanging out with his friends more than I cared to make mine.
“We aren’t, though. You are breaking up with me,” I collected my stuff from our shared dresser and quickly dumped my laptop and books in my backpack. I would have to come back and collect my stuff, but this should hold me for a few days.
“It’s a break!” He yelled. “You’re still my best friend! You’ll always be my best friend,” He yelled as I tried to walk past him. “You’ll always have that place in my life. Where the hell are you going!?”
“But that’s it, right? You want this place gone.” I could see the confusion on his face. He hadn’t thought this through. “What does 'explore and see life without each other in our lives’ even mean? Do you want us to pretend we don’t know each other? So, you can have your experiment with how your life would be if we,” I gestured between us, “never existed? Tough luck. We did. And, you don’t erase the past. You move on."
"I feel like I am talking to a wall, Y/N,” he said, exasperated.
“What am I supposed to understand? That my boyfriend came home today after meeting his friends to tell me that he wants to take a break because he has been with me for far too long. What even is this reason? Thanks for being the cliche of the century. You want to see different things? Who is stopping you? But you want to explore what is out there and still hold on to me, in case you realise that being alone, maybe, isn’t for you. I’m not an option, Yoongi.” I dropped my bags to the ground so I could call myself a cab.
“It’s not about options at all. I just…you are twisting my words. I don’t want to make you feel like you’re an option but haven’t you ever felt the need to want something more?” He questioned. “That maybe there is something worth more out there?” His eyes were wide. He had misspoken again.
It was like a knife running through my chest. I couldn’t believe this was my best friend. That this man in front of me was the love of my life, and he hadn’t just degraded me. “All the best. I hope you find what you are looking for. My cab is here.” I ran out, and he ran out after me, but he didn’t call. He didn’t call me at all.
—
“He said WHAT?” Zoya and I were four shots down, and I could feel it all hit me at once.
“He wants to find out if there is something worth more than us being together. He could have just said he wanted to be single and live the uni life. Like all fuckboys out here. What the fuck even is a break?” I was so drunk.
“Man, I’m sorry. But this is good for you. I can feel it. I’m getting the vibes,” Zoya tickled the air.
“You can feel the vibe?” I looked at her.
“Yaaa, I caaaannnn!” She slurred. “It’ll be difficult. Very, but no time like now."
"I gotta figure out my housing situation,” I threw my head down to the bar table. My bags were behind the bar, or Zoya had thrown them behind the bar cause the bartender was her friend. She was my friend here, and actually, she was my only new friend here.
“It’s sorted. That’s why I brought you here! Tae! Tae!” She yelled, flailing her arms, catching the bartender’s eye.
“Okay, Zoya, stay seated, or I will throw you out,” The bartender pulled her hands together and made her sit down.
“Tae, you have an extra room, right?” She asked sweetly.
“Uh, I do,” He said with caution, his eyes flickering between us two.
“Great! You’re looking for a roommate. I have your roommate!” She declared happily.
“You want me to live with a boy?” I looked at her.
“I’m looking for a roommate?” He questioned as well.
“Yes, you can’t live alone. You need company. And Y/N, Tae’s place is very, and I mean, very nice. He is the best option at this point in the semester. He technically owns this bar and works here for free because he likes mixology.” Zoya kept each hand on one of our shoulders like she was planning a plot.
“My father owns this bar,” Tae clarified.
“Potehto Potahto,” Zoya mumbled, taking a long sip of her long island iced tea. “So, Y/N will take that spare bedroom, and I will come party at your place 'cause it’ll finally be interesting!"
"Zoya bu–” She kept her finger on my lips.
“But, today we will go to mine 'cause I got some pork ribs that we have to try!” She jumped off and walked towards the exit without looking back.
Tae helped me with my bags and told another person to take over for him, “Taehyung,” He offered his hand for me to shake. “Zoya and I are school friends. I’m studying management here too."
"Y/N,” I smiled. “I’ve not seen you before, though!”
“It’s a big class of, like-what, 70 people? I don’t think we share any of our secondary courses, either. Do you share them with Zoya?” He asked, walking me outside.
“Yes, Contemporary Issues in Competitive Strategy,” I told him.
“I think I’m taking that next sem. Zoya, my car’s in the parking lot. Let’s go,” He called for her, and she happily ran towards us.
—
“This is a big apartment. Are you sure you don’t mind me here? Zoya just kinda dumped it -” It was pretty well done as well. Only the room, which would be mine, just had a bed.
“No, I think it’ll be fun. My father’s assistant has kinda overdone it. But, you can name a household appliance, and I think you’ll find it here,” He laughed.
“Oh nice, what’s your rent?” I asked so I could decide if I could afford the division. The apartment Yoongi and I shared was a gift from his parents, so thankfully, we had just furnished it. I knew I’d need to rediscuss my finances, but I think I would be very comfortable if I got a part-time job.
“I own this place. My father believes in buying, not renting,” He explained. “But, I’m sure we can agree on something,” He smiled.
Moving in with Tae was easy. Zoya helped me pack my stuff the next day when I knew Yoongi would be out, and since he still had not called or dropped a text, I went in and got the rest of my personal stuff when he was in classes. Tae and I went shopping for furniture for my room and other utilities in the evening, and before I knew it, I had already moved into another house in all of one day. Two days before this, I was in bed with Yoongi as he told me some hilarious joke which was considered Architecture 101, and now I was in a completely different building, alone.
“You haven’t moved,” Tae stood in front of my room. He had helped me unpack and set everything up with Zoya. “I left you right here, like 30 mins ago,” He laughed. I’m sure Zoya had him filled on my history and heartbreak.
“Yoongi must have just gotten back to the apartment. Do you think he’ll call when he sees my stuff gone?” I asked Tae with tears in my eyes.
Tae pouted and came and sat next to me, “if he calls, will you pick up?” He asked. I shook my head. “If he calls, will you feel better?” I shrugged because I didn’t know what to feel. It was all happening so fast.
“I am apologizing in advance for not being an amazing roommate for the next few…my heart is breaking right now,” I couldn’t stop my tears.
“Sleep. I promised you a welcome breakfast, so you need to be up for it,” Tae tried, nudging my shoulder.
—
I kept out of Yoongi’s way. It was great that our majors were different, and our classes were on the opposite side of the campus. In a week, I found a routine that didn’t collide with his at all. If I saw him at the coffee house, I hid. If I saw him on the way to the library, I went the opposite direction.
'I hope you’re okay.'
The last text from him was three days old. Did he know where I was? Who was I with? Was I okay?
I kept my word, and I disappeared from his life. It was killing me. How do you get rid of a habit? I woke up in sweats. I couldn’t breathe, my chest contracting within itself at the thought of him. The only time I ate was when Tae and Zoya were around, and our routine was extremely hectic.
A month into it, the pain sort of became a habit. My course and my internship did not leave me any time to think. When I did catch a moment, it was spent laughing with Taehyung, who was an incredible roommate. We made friends in our course, so we had a group ready for adventure as the weekend hit, and I was kind of glad that I had no time to process anything because the day always started with me standing in front of the mirror, prepping myself to be happy and confident. It didn’t matter that the love of my life didn’t think I was enough. I was enough for me. I grew up in a loveless household; I knew what it felt like. But, by the evening, I was just numb.
There had been no contact with Yoongi. And Ava, a new friend of mine, taught me tricks to cope and distract myself. “If you’re not ready to process it, you don’t have too,” She had been in therapy for the longest time, and always had words of wisdom.
Yoongi was all over the place. There were photos all over the insta.
'Finally single' was a caption on his friend Zack’s post, and I had lost a whole day on it. I realised that during the initial month of uni, I had not made any friends. All I had were his friends, and what it felt like was that they just tolerated me. Even the ones I had truly connected with did not text me after, and it had me really looking back on all my friendships through the years. I always connected through Yoongi. I always only really needed him, He was truly my confidant, my best friend, and I didn’t have the need for more.
I was made strong, though. It has been two months, so it clearly wasn’t a short break. I finally told my parents and made them promise they wouldn’t say anything to Yoongi’s parents if it didn’t come from them and that they won’t contact him.
'All I need is myself’ was his insta post with a picture of a glass of whisky held against the view of the sunset.
—
“Have you spoken to her since?” Tara asked Yoongi as he fiddled with his drink.
“No,” He took another gulp. No indication was needed on who was being mentioned.
“How are you holding up?” She asked. She liked Y/N. She liked them together. She didn’t really agree with the narrative Jae and Sara had built up. But Jae didn’t understand relationships, and Sara had the hots for Yoongi.
“It’s only a break. I just need to know who I am,” He said, more to himself. The last two months had been so strange. He was so angry at first. His girlfriend refused to understand his point of view, decided they were broken up like she decided on most things on her own, and had moved out all in one day. She came when he wasn’t in the house and packed her stuff, leaving the key on the kitchen table with no note. He was furious.
Then, he found out she had moved in with another guy who she had never mentioned before. Did he even know her? Taking a break was making more sense. She didn’t respond to his message, hid from him or changed directions if he was around. She was his best friend. He knew he had asked for this, but not like this. He honestly thought if they spent a little time apart, it would bring them closer and give him clarity as well.
His parents were talking about marriage, and they had just started uni. From living with his parents, he started living with Y/N, and he was excited until he had this whole conversation about how life can be different. And, he wanted the chance to at least to understand what it could be to be able to decide if he even wanted it. Wasn’t being young all about this? He missed his best friend. He missed Y/N every night he walked into their apartment, and he started spending the least amount of time in it, sleeping on the couch instead of their bed or Jae’s spare bedroom to save himself from thinking too much.
“You can also find out who you are with her, you know. Jae isn’t exactly right, and he was always jealous of what you had with -” She was cut off as Jae jumped on Yoongi.
“My man!” He yelled in his year. “We gotta get you laid this evening! Fuck I gotta get laid!"
—
"Fuck, why have they given us a week off? I have five papers to write!” Tae screamed as he entered the apartment.
“I got three papers and two presentations,” I counted. “You have to be my dummy for prep. Presentations freak me out.” I told him. Taehyung had a habit of shedding his clothes as soon as he entered the apartment. At this point, it was weird if he was in more than one layer inside the flat. I was sure I would not have been standing if I didn’t have him around.
“I think we should go clubbing today. Go clubbing today, work tomorrow if we are not hungover, then hike the day after, and then we can relax and get to our assignments.” He wrote down our plan of action on the big whiteboard wall that he and Miles, our newly formed friend from the bar, had drunk installed one night.
“Yuck. I hate clubs,” I groaned.
“Wear your sexiest dress. I should be drooling,” He instructed.
“Yuck."
Miles was studying architecture like Yoongi. He actually knew me, having crossed paths during one of the many meetups I had accompanied Yoongi too. "I can give you goss on the enemy side,” he had offered as he sat next to me on the bar stool. Tae was experimenting with a new mix, and I was his taste tester, and also a bit tipsy from all the alcohol I was testing.
“What’s the goss?” I asked.
“Are you ready? Emotionally?” Miles asked, giving me a warning.
“Sure,” I laughed.
“That group is way, way more boring now that you are not there!"
I giggled, "you’re very sweet, Miles. The last I remember of you was that you didn’t speak a word after I told my cliff-jumping story!"
"The cliff-jumping story was hilarious! I fell a little bit in love with you,” He said, making me choke on my drink. “I’m joking!” He laughed. “You’ll have to tell me a couple more to have me!"
He was the perfect fit for our little group and assured me that I could stand without Yoongi.
"I can’t believe you’re taking me clubbing tonight,” Miles groaned as he met us downstairs.“ Ava cancelled. I think we should run away, too,” He held my hand, flirting.
“You guys are the worst!” Tae whined. “We are young, and hot, and dancing is the way to get laid. Please let’s just go!"
"I’m surprised you want to get laid when Zoya is going to be there,” I took his arm, and wrapped mine around it.
“Till the time she sees that I am her true love, I need to get by,” He pouted. Tae was quite infatuated with Zoya, and Zoya had no clue. She thought he was fond, and they had been buddies through school. He didn’t want to change their dynamic and was hoping she’ll suddenly realise he had been there all along.
“There is nothing like true love,” I said.
“Hush,” He pulled me closer. “Let me dream."
We were greeted inside the club by Zoya, who, in no time, had already poured three shots down our throats. I hadn’t eaten much, so the alcohol hit me faster and stronger. "You look so fucking sexy,” Zoya whispered as she twirled me around. I had lost weight in the last two months, so I felt less beautiful cause I wasn’t as healthy and fit as I kept myself, but I couldn’t help smiling big as she complimented me.
We were closer to the dancing area, so I looked around for a place we could take up and keep our bags when I saw him. My smile disappeared, and my body went cold. It felt like a deep wound had ripped open again, and I was bleeding.
“What happened-” Zoya’s eyes followed mine to see Yoongi on the first floor, his arms around the waist of a girl stuck to his body as they laughed.
—
Umm, part 2? I’ll save Yoongi, don’t you worry!
A friend of mine went through something similar, and it got me thinking of how people look at relationships.
©mymuseagustd@2023
#3 All I Want Is A Break
Angsty cause this job hunting process is relentless.
Y/N and Yoongi are best friends, then lovers, until he decides he wants to find out what life can be without her.
Pairing: Yoongi x female reader + Taehung
Genre: Non-IdolAU / Angst / Smut in the next part
Warnings: Curse words/ heartache/ it’s quite angsty and will have smut if we continue.
Word count: 3.8K+
Note: Picked up my old writing to give it something new. Let me know how you like it?
—
It’s strange. I’m standing in front of him. I know him. I know this man inside out. Have you ever stood in front of someone you have known your entire life, but they suddenly felt like a stranger to you? I could hear him speaking, and he was not making sense to me.
“Don’t you want to, maybe, see other people? Know how they are? Know how you’ll be with them? Will you be someone different, or will you be the same? I mean, you and I know each other inside out. But, we don’t know how anybody else is! We don’t know how great or, even worse, it might be if we are with other people. Don’t you ever feel like finding out?”
This was Yoongi, my Yoongi. My best friend since we were 7, boyfriend since - did it matter? He wanted to explore being with other people.
“Think about it, Y/N,” He didn’t stop. “Jae and I were discussing this. How the different relationships change you, and how they make you grow? Have you never thought about this? Don’t look at me like that,” He rolled his eyes.
He rolled his eyes as I stared, sitting in front of him, my brain trying to catch up and pre-empt his next dialogue.
“It’s been too long? Don’t you feel so? We have always been together! Exploring, or even I don’t know, taking a break isn’t a bad idea. To just discover ourselves…” He took another sip of the beer he had poured for us. My glass remained untouched. His, refilled twice, was almost empty.
This entire week had felt off. It felt like the music had changed, and I didn’t know the artist anymore. He went on. His life-changing discussion with our friends. Our friends? His friends. Life-changing decisions, all in the two dinners I missed. “It’s just a break. Nothing more,” His decision was made. When my boyfriend decided something, he went through with it. “We spend some time apart from each other. I’ll go live with Jae, and we can just explore and see life without each other in our lives. Just a small break,” He said so easily.
“You’re my best friend.” My first words as I tried to make sense of the situation. He had been my best friend since 7. We did everything together since we were 7. And, when we started dating, I needed no one else.
“And you’re mine. But, listen to me,” he took my hands in his, pulling me out of my static stance, and shaking me up to see what was happening. “We need to know who we are, without each other too. I think it is healthy for me to want that. I’m not saying I want to break up. I just want a break from yo-” I pulled my hands away. “That’s not what I mean.” He realised he fucked up with the wrong words. Like he had not been fucking up till now. I knew him inside out.
Maybe he could see the betrayal on my face or the tears welling up in my eyes. I was having an out-of-body experience. It felt like I could see myself breaking down, but that hurt hadn’t seeped in yet. “What I mean is, I just want to know life as a person of my own. Who I am without us being together cause we have been together was so long. I want to know, do I actually like apple pie, or do I like it because you like it? That discussion just had me thinking if I can be the best for you if I’m not my own person."
"So, you’re basically saying that you don’t want me in your life anymore?” I frowned.
“Don’t be dramatic,” He sighed.
I laughed. “That’s literally what you just said."
"I don’t know why you aren’t getting this.” He raised his voice. “You know, Maria said you won’t get it, and you don’t.” he shook his head, and sat back.
“Maria said that I won’t get it? You’ve known these people for a month. You’ve known me for years!” I couldn’t stop the tears. “But, it’s not about them. If you want to break up with me, have the fucking balls to do it. Don’t come at me with, ‘I don’t know who I am/ we have always been together.’ Straight up, tell me you don’t want me anymore.” I walked back towards our room so I could pack a duffle bag and get out of this apartment.
“That’s not it. I just want a break. We are in university, in a new environment. This is the perfect time for it. Y/N!” He shouted as I stuffed my clothes in a bag. “Where are you going? You don’t know anyone. We are literally just discussing,” He was technically right. All my friends were his friends. It had always been like that. Yoongi socialised, and I tagged along. It had been a month since we started uni, and even though our courses were different, we lived together, and I spent time hanging out with his friends more than I cared to make mine.
“We aren’t, though. You are breaking up with me,” I collected my stuff from our shared dresser and quickly dumped my laptop and books in my backpack. I would have to come back and collect my stuff, but this should hold me for a few days.
“It’s a break!” He yelled. “You’re still my best friend! You’ll always be my best friend,” He yelled as I tried to walk past him. “You’ll always have that place in my life. Where the hell are you going!?”
“But that’s it, right? You want this place gone.” I could see the confusion on his face. He hadn’t thought this through. “What does 'explore and see life without each other in our lives’ even mean? Do you want us to pretend we don’t know each other? So, you can have your experiment with how your life would be if we,” I gestured between us, “never existed? Tough luck. We did. And, you don’t erase the past. You move on."
"I feel like I am talking to a wall, Y/N,” he said, exasperated.
“What am I supposed to understand? That my boyfriend came home today after meeting his friends to tell me that he wants to take a break because he has been with me for far too long. What even is this reason? Thanks for being the cliche of the century. You want to see different things? Who is stopping you? But you want to explore what is out there and still hold on to me, in case you realise that being alone, maybe, isn’t for you. I’m not an option, Yoongi.” I dropped my bags to the ground so I could call myself a cab.
“It’s not about options at all. I just…you are twisting my words. I don’t want to make you feel like you’re an option but haven’t you ever felt the need to want something more?” He questioned. “That maybe there is something worth more out there?” His eyes were wide. He had misspoken again.
It was like a knife running through my chest. I couldn’t believe this was my best friend. That this man in front of me was the love of my life, and he hadn’t just degraded me. “All the best. I hope you find what you are looking for. My cab is here.” I ran out, and he ran out after me, but he didn’t call. He didn’t call me at all.
—
“He said WHAT?” Zoya and I were four shots down, and I could feel it all hit me at once.
“He wants to find out if there is something worth more than us being together. He could have just said he wanted to be single and live the uni life. Like all fuckboys out here. What the fuck even is a break?” I was so drunk.
“Man, I’m sorry. But this is good for you. I can feel it. I’m getting the vibes,” Zoya tickled the air.
“You can feel the vibe?” I looked at her.
“Yaaa, I caaaannnn!” She slurred. “It’ll be difficult. Very, but no time like now."
"I gotta figure out my housing situation,” I threw my head down to the bar table. My bags were behind the bar, or Zoya had thrown them behind the bar cause the bartender was her friend. She was my friend here, and actually, she was my only new friend here.
“It’s sorted. That’s why I brought you here! Tae! Tae!” She yelled, flailing her arms, catching the bartender’s eye.
“Okay, Zoya, stay seated, or I will throw you out,” The bartender pulled her hands together and made her sit down.
“Tae, you have an extra room, right?” She asked sweetly.
“Uh, I do,” He said with caution, his eyes flickering between us two.
“Great! You’re looking for a roommate. I have your roommate!” She declared happily.
“You want me to live with a boy?” I looked at her.
“I’m looking for a roommate?” He questioned as well.
“Yes, you can’t live alone. You need company. And Y/N, Tae’s place is very, and I mean, very nice. He is the best option at this point in the semester. He technically owns this bar and works here for free because he likes mixology.” Zoya kept each hand on one of our shoulders like she was planning a plot.
“My father owns this bar,” Tae clarified.
“Potehto Potahto,” Zoya mumbled, taking a long sip of her long island iced tea. “So, Y/N will take that spare bedroom, and I will come party at your place 'cause it’ll finally be interesting!"
"Zoya bu–” She kept her finger on my lips.
“But, today we will go to mine 'cause I got some pork ribs that we have to try!” She jumped off and walked towards the exit without looking back.
Tae helped me with my bags and told another person to take over for him, “Taehyung,” He offered his hand for me to shake. “Zoya and I are school friends. I’m studying management here too."
"Y/N,” I smiled. “I’ve not seen you before, though!”
“It’s a big class of, like-what, 70 people? I don’t think we share any of our secondary courses, either. Do you share them with Zoya?” He asked, walking me outside.
“Yes, Contemporary Issues in Competitive Strategy,” I told him.
“I think I’m taking that next sem. Zoya, my car’s in the parking lot. Let’s go,” He called for her, and she happily ran towards us.
—
“This is a big apartment. Are you sure you don’t mind me here? Zoya just kinda dumped it -” It was pretty well done as well. Only the room, which would be mine, just had a bed.
“No, I think it’ll be fun. My father’s assistant has kinda overdone it. But, you can name a household appliance, and I think you’ll find it here,” He laughed.
“Oh nice, what’s your rent?” I asked so I could decide if I could afford the division. The apartment Yoongi and I shared was a gift from his parents, so thankfully, we had just furnished it. I knew I’d need to rediscuss my finances, but I think I would be very comfortable if I got a part-time job.
“I own this place. My father believes in buying, not renting,” He explained. “But, I’m sure we can agree on something,” He smiled.
Moving in with Tae was easy. Zoya helped me pack my stuff the next day when I knew Yoongi would be out, and since he still had not called or dropped a text, I went in and got the rest of my personal stuff when he was in classes. Tae and I went shopping for furniture for my room and other utilities in the evening, and before I knew it, I had already moved into another house in all of one day. Two days before this, I was in bed with Yoongi as he told me some hilarious joke which was considered Architecture 101, and now I was in a completely different building, alone.
“You haven’t moved,” Tae stood in front of my room. He had helped me unpack and set everything up with Zoya. “I left you right here, like 30 mins ago,” He laughed. I’m sure Zoya had him filled on my history and heartbreak.
“Yoongi must have just gotten back to the apartment. Do you think he’ll call when he sees my stuff gone?” I asked Tae with tears in my eyes.
Tae pouted and came and sat next to me, “if he calls, will you pick up?” He asked. I shook my head. “If he calls, will you feel better?” I shrugged because I didn’t know what to feel. It was all happening so fast.
“I am apologizing in advance for not being an amazing roommate for the next few…my heart is breaking right now,” I couldn’t stop my tears.
“Sleep. I promised you a welcome breakfast, so you need to be up for it,” Tae tried, nudging my shoulder.
—
I kept out of Yoongi’s way. It was great that our majors were different, and our classes were on the opposite side of the campus. In a week, I found a routine that didn’t collide with his at all. If I saw him at the coffee house, I hid. If I saw him on the way to the library, I went the opposite direction.
'I hope you’re okay.'
The last text from him was three days old. Did he know where I was? Who was I with? Was I okay?
I kept my word, and I disappeared from his life. It was killing me. How do you get rid of a habit? I woke up in sweats. I couldn’t breathe, my chest contracting within itself at the thought of him. The only time I ate was when Tae and Zoya were around, and our routine was extremely hectic.
A month into it, the pain sort of became a habit. My course and my internship did not leave me any time to think. When I did catch a moment, it was spent laughing with Taehyung, who was an incredible roommate. We made friends in our course, so we had a group ready for adventure as the weekend hit, and I was kind of glad that I had no time to process anything because the day always started with me standing in front of the mirror, prepping myself to be happy and confident. It didn’t matter that the love of my life didn’t think I was enough. I was enough for me. I grew up in a loveless household; I knew what it felt like. But, by the evening, I was just numb.
There had been no contact with Yoongi. And Ava, a new friend of mine, taught me tricks to cope and distract myself. “If you’re not ready to process it, you don’t have too,” She had been in therapy for the longest time, and always had words of wisdom.
Yoongi was all over the place. There were photos all over the insta.
'Finally single' was a caption on his friend Zack’s post, and I had lost a whole day on it. I realised that during the initial month of uni, I had not made any friends. All I had were his friends, and what it felt like was that they just tolerated me. Even the ones I had truly connected with did not text me after, and it had me really looking back on all my friendships through the years. I always connected through Yoongi. I always only really needed him, He was truly my confidant, my best friend, and I didn’t have the need for more.
I was made strong, though. It has been two months, so it clearly wasn’t a short break. I finally told my parents and made them promise they wouldn’t say anything to Yoongi’s parents if it didn’t come from them and that they won’t contact him.
'All I need is myself’ was his insta post with a picture of a glass of whisky held against the view of the sunset.
—
“Have you spoken to her since?” Tara asked Yoongi as he fiddled with his drink.
“No,” He took another gulp. No indication was needed on who was being mentioned.
“How are you holding up?” She asked. She liked Y/N. She liked them together. She didn’t really agree with the narrative Jae and Sara had built up. But Jae didn’t understand relationships, and Sara had the hots for Yoongi.
“It’s only a break. I just need to know who I am,” He said, more to himself. The last two months had been so strange. He was so angry at first. His girlfriend refused to understand his point of view, decided they were broken up like she decided on most things on her own, and had moved out all in one day. She came when he wasn’t in the house and packed her stuff, leaving the key on the kitchen table with no note. He was furious.
Then, he found out she had moved in with another guy who she had never mentioned before. Did he even know her? Taking a break was making more sense. She didn’t respond to his message, hid from him or changed directions if he was around. She was his best friend. He knew he had asked for this, but not like this. He honestly thought if they spent a little time apart, it would bring them closer and give him clarity as well.
His parents were talking about marriage, and they had just started uni. From living with his parents, he started living with Y/N, and he was excited until he had this whole conversation about how life can be different. And, he wanted the chance to at least to understand what it could be to be able to decide if he even wanted it. Wasn’t being young all about this? He missed his best friend. He missed Y/N every night he walked into their apartment, and he started spending the least amount of time in it, sleeping on the couch instead of their bed or Jae’s spare bedroom to save himself from thinking too much.
“You can also find out who you are with her, you know. Jae isn’t exactly right, and he was always jealous of what you had with -” She was cut off as Jae jumped on Yoongi.
“My man!” He yelled in his year. “We gotta get you laid this evening! Fuck I gotta get laid!"
—
"Fuck, why have they given us a week off? I have five papers to write!” Tae screamed as he entered the apartment.
“I got three papers and two presentations,” I counted. “You have to be my dummy for prep. Presentations freak me out.” I told him. Taehyung had a habit of shedding his clothes as soon as he entered the apartment. At this point, it was weird if he was in more than one layer inside the flat. I was sure I would not have been standing if I didn’t have him around.
“I think we should go clubbing today. Go clubbing today, work tomorrow if we are not hungover, then hike the day after, and then we can relax and get to our assignments.” He wrote down our plan of action on the big whiteboard wall that he and Miles, our newly formed friend from the bar, had drunk installed one night.
“Yuck. I hate clubs,” I groaned.
“Wear your sexiest dress. I should be drooling,” He instructed.
“Yuck."
Miles was studying architecture like Yoongi. He actually knew me, having crossed paths during one of the many meetups I had accompanied Yoongi too. "I can give you goss on the enemy side,” he had offered as he sat next to me on the bar stool. Tae was experimenting with a new mix, and I was his taste tester, and also a bit tipsy from all the alcohol I was testing.
“What’s the goss?” I asked.
“Are you ready? Emotionally?” Miles asked, giving me a warning.
“Sure,” I laughed.
“That group is way, way more boring now that you are not there!"
I giggled, "you’re very sweet, Miles. The last I remember of you was that you didn’t speak a word after I told my cliff-jumping story!"
"The cliff-jumping story was hilarious! I fell a little bit in love with you,” He said, making me choke on my drink. “I’m joking!” He laughed. “You’ll have to tell me a couple more to have me!"
He was the perfect fit for our little group and assured me that I could stand without Yoongi.
"I can’t believe you’re taking me clubbing tonight,” Miles groaned as he met us downstairs.“ Ava cancelled. I think we should run away, too,” He held my hand, flirting.
“You guys are the worst!” Tae whined. “We are young, and hot, and dancing is the way to get laid. Please let’s just go!"
"I’m surprised you want to get laid when Zoya is going to be there,” I took his arm, and wrapped mine around it.
“Till the time she sees that I am her true love, I need to get by,” He pouted. Tae was quite infatuated with Zoya, and Zoya had no clue. She thought he was fond, and they had been buddies through school. He didn’t want to change their dynamic and was hoping she’ll suddenly realise he had been there all along.
“There is nothing like true love,” I said.
“Hush,” He pulled me closer. “Let me dream."
We were greeted inside the club by Zoya, who, in no time, had already poured three shots down our throats. I hadn’t eaten much, so the alcohol hit me faster and stronger. "You look so fucking sexy,” Zoya whispered as she twirled me around. I had lost weight in the last two months, so I felt less beautiful cause I wasn’t as healthy and fit as I kept myself, but I couldn’t help smiling big as she complimented me.
We were closer to the dancing area, so I looked around for a place we could take up and keep our bags when I saw him. My smile disappeared, and my body went cold. It felt like a deep wound had ripped open again, and I was bleeding.
“What happened-” Zoya’s eyes followed mine to see Yoongi on the first floor, his arms around the waist of a girl stuck to his body as they laughed.
—
Umm, part 2? I’ll save Yoongi, don’t you worry!
A friend of mine went through something similar, and it got me thinking of how people look at relationships.
©mymuseagustd@2023
#3 All I Want Is A Break (Part 2)
Y/N and Yoongi are best friends, then lovers, until he decides he wants to find out what life can be without her.
Pairing: Yoongi x female reader + Taehung and Jungkook
Genre: Non-IdolAU / Angst / Smut
Warnings: Curse words/ heartache/ Smut
Word count: 3.5K+
PART 1
—
“Baby…” Yoongi’s lips were going down my neck, but it was his voice that was pulling me in more. I was sure it was just his voice that could get me off. We hadn’t ever tried it, but I was sure if it ever came to the point where only his voice was available, I would still be all set. “Stop dreaming about me when I’m next to you,” He bit my chin lightly, pulling me out of my trance.
“Don’t call me baby,” I slid my hands down his body and groped his still-covered cock when he had me stripped instantly.
“But, you’re my baby,” He pouted, pushing his lips out. “How will people know you’re mine?” his fingers moved in and out of me like they had known their way around my body since forever. They had, and it felt nice to belong to someone. I had seen a house where love was always transactional. With Yoongi, nothing ever was. He always gave, was always patient, and I was so in love with him.
“Okay, you can call me baby. Make sure it’s always loud and clear,” I pushed him down the bed, so I could get him out of his tight jeans and show him my true devotion to him. “Make everyone hear you, so they know who you belong to as well,”
“Baby…” He moaned, his hands pulling my hair together, as I wrapped my tongue around him, “Baby….”
“BABY!”
My head jerked and hit my bedside table.
“BABY!” Taehyung was yelling from the kitchen, his favourite thing to do when he took up cooking which was very often. I sat up straight and looked around my room. I was spending too much time in it. The sweat on my neck couldn’t really confirm my emotion behind the kind of dream I was having, but my body was very frustrated. This was the longest I had gone without any action, and with the accumulating stress, the last two months had not been easy.
“BABY, BABY, BABY!” Tae sang/shouted again.
“Don’t call me baby.” I groaned, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water.
“Finally! You’re up! You’ve been sleeping all morning, and I’m making fajitas,” He was awfully chirpy for 2 PM.
“My body is too pent up. I think I need to take some dancing classes to get it moving cause the gym is making it worse,” I sat down on the counter, treating myself to some sour cream with some leftover chips.
“I think you need to get fucked,” Tae said nonchalantly.
I paused, “you think I should go ask Yoongi for some? We didn’t really discuss this break…”
“No, you broke up with him. It was evident he has moved on when we all saw him at the club. You need someone new,” I gulped as Tae spoke. He realised my discomfort, “Look, Y/N, I’m not going to lie to you and make it sound like it is better than what’s reality. I hate seeing you like this, though. And we have discussed this. His asking for a break was unfair. And, even though you have painted an amazing picture of him for us, he is still not out that door asking you back.”
“I know, I know,” I nodded. We had discussed this a lot. “I just am not ready for a relationship.”
“Relationship? No one is recommending that. No, you have been with one guy your entire life! And healing that scar will need a lot of therapy which, by the way, congratulations for starting, but there are one-night stands, rendezvous, situationships waiting to be explored. Please don’t get a boyfriend, get a fuck-friend.”
“Ooooh, like Nadia…” I smirked. Nadia was very interested in learning the ins and outs of the course she was sharing with Tae and was not against studying the ins and outs of Tae. The poor girl was infatuated with him, and Tae was playing the classic fuckbuddy.
“Yeah, exactly like Nadia!” This poor boy was so clueless.
“Okay, I will let you know when I am ready for a rendezvous, is it?” I said, disgusted. “Gross, what is wrong with you?” I walked off.
“It’s what it’s called!” He laughed.
—
“Jae, I really don’t want to meet anyone new. Trust me!” Yoongi wanted to clarify, but Jae was too excited to meet the girls he had met at his internship. Yoongi repeated it twice in the car and then at the club, but Jae was not receptive.
“Tia! Hey baby! Here lemme introduce you to my friend, Yoongi!” Tia was a design major from the same university, and even though she was lovely and sexy in the little black dress she wore, Yoongi was not interested. He wasn’t rude, though, so he introduced himself and kept talking to her through the night.
They were laughing about something insignificant when Maria came up wanting to take pictures. Yoongi instinctively put his arms around her, stopping her from falling as he made her laugh again. The pictures were clicked, and Tia tightened his arm around her, bringing herself closer. Yoongi was a bit surprised. It wasn’t like he wasn’t offered chances to be with other women, but no one had been that forward. Usually, Y/N was with him, so the territories were always established, more by him for her, than for himself. Y/N, she was..is gorgeous, he thought. She could light up a party just by walking into it. Made everyone feel included, except when she was nervous, like she had been with his new friends, and that’s when she kept herself very close to him. He liked how she fit into his body like she was just made for him. Tia kept coming closer to Yoongi, sticking her body to him, and it felt so foreign he had to take a step back, “let me get us a drink?”
“Yeah! I’ll come with you!” Tia nodded, and they made their way down to the bar.
“What would you like?” Yoongi asked Tia, trying to get the bartender’s attention.
“Vodka soda!” Tia waved her glass and looked around, “hey! That’s Jungkook!” Tia yelled, pointing at the dance floor for Yoongi to place him, “He is the coolest human in my design class! His work is insane!” Yoongi’s eyes followed Tia’s direction to the dance floor. There he was, dancing and making a girl swirl to the beat as she laughed. He stumbled, his back hitting the bar. “You okay?” Tia asked.
His eyes didn’t leave her. She looked gorgeous, somewhat thinner. Why was she thinner? But so sexy, dancing to the beat on the stage. Y/N did have a way of capturing the scene. She threw her head back as Jungkook whispered something in her ear and swirled her around with him.
“Yoongi?” Tia repeated.
“Yeah, yes, I am good, I’m good, here,” He handed her the glass. “When you go up, could you let Jae or Sara, even Maria know that I’ve left? I’m just gonna go home. Not feeling too well.” He left for the door before Tia could respond.
He felt weird. “I wanted this, I wanted this,” He repeated, waiting for the cab to arrive.
“Leaving already?” Tara came and stood next to him.
“Feeling weird, are you going back too?” He asked, and she nodded. “Join me,” He pointed to his booked cab ride.
“I met Y/N,” she said.
“Yeah?”
“She’ll be fine.”
Yoongi just nodded, “You really think I could also find out who I am with her?” Tara looked at him in question. “That’s what you were going to say, right? Before Jae came in?”
Tara nodded, “I’ve known Jae and Sara since school. And Sara likes you, that should’ve been the first sign to not listen to that shit.”
“I didn't… I’m not naive. I didn’t take their idea and follow through,” Yoongi explained. “My parents have been discussing marriage. They bought the ring too, can you believe it? That is my thing to do when we are ready!”
“I thought she was your best friend?” Tara questioned.
“She is my best friend. And I’m being selfish. I know. But I’m all she has ever known. Do you know what her mum said before we left for uni? She said, ‘wow, looks like Y/N is in my tracks of having one man for life.’ God, her parents are so toxic.”
“I don’t get your point?” Yoongi was more in his head than in his ongoing explanation to Tara.
“What if one-day Y/N realises that she doesn’t want to be like her mom? She hates her parent’s relationship, and they were together since school as well. What if she realises that what we have can translate into what her parents made of their marriage?”
“Wow, I thought you left her cause you wanted to figure out life for yourself.”
“I did. I do. I want us to have a chance to figure out what not being together feels like. So, that we are sure we want this. I want to explore being young and single for a bit. Just being with myself and not having my life dictated by my parents. And she will see this. She is smart. I just don’t want to have any expectations for once.”
“Okay, I’m no shrink. But you need help, Yoongi,” Tara cut him off. “And you clearly are very confused about her place in your life. If you don’t love her, end it! It will do you both good!”
“What the fuck? When did I even say that?” Yoongi yelled. “I do love her.” He wasn’t in doubt at all.
“Oh, did you tell her that you were feeling stuck? Scared? Claustrophobic?”
“I literally didn’t say any of those things,” Yoongi sighed. Clearly, Tara did not understand his situation.
“Yeah, you’re not naming it. But it is what it is. You just threw her out of your life cause Jae told you his story of toxic romances and girlfriends not having a life. And Sara, who is fucked up, by the way, made it like Y/N didn’t have a life without you. And you agreed to it the entire night, and the next we know is that you are not with her anymore,” Tara really did like Y/N more. “And what if she likes this break and finds someone new? What will you do?”
Yoongi didn’t respond. He hadn’t thought this through.
—
“So, you remember, Jungkook?” Zoya asked me as we climbed the mountain. No one could change Tae’s plan, and here we were, climbing this stupid mountain under the sun.
“Who?” I asked, trying to blink through the sweat.
“The hunk who you danced with all night, you lil minx!” Zoya tickled her.
“Yes, he texted me.” I laughed. “Wants to grab a coffee with me,” Zoya raised her eyebrow, “soon too!”
“And, what did you say,” she asked.
“I really don’t want to go on a date, so I asked him if we can meet as friends,” It was all that I could offer. “And we are going to meet next week.”
“Are you okay? Seeing Yoongi? With that chick?” She asked.
“I don’t know. I’m not thinking about it,” I told her honestly.
—
Classes had started again, and all my time not working was spent at the library. I had taken up a research project, and the readings were driving me crazy. It was 11 PM, and I was still here. Thankfully, my therapy was going great. We were reworking my narrative about belonging to someone. I should belong to myself first before giving a part of myself to someone else.
With Yoongi, I had made him my safe haven, which was not fair to either of us. She made me see how I was more dependent on him and how that had influenced so many of my life decisions. Like not going on the trip with all my girlfriends because Yoongi wasn’t interested or not taking classes or going to movies which I liked because Yoongi might not have enjoyed them. Instead of treating him as my friend and partner, I was wrapping my life around his choices which made me more like a crutch. Maybe that’s why he felt like he needed to move on.
It had been more than three months, though, and I was okay. I missed my friend more than I missed anything else. We could talk about anything. Talk about our future, our interests, and our problems. He just got it without me having to explain it to him. He was truly my best friend. But relationships evolve, and maybe that would be us.
If he was here right now, he would totally understand why I was getting competitive in my class and why I felt I needed to take on this stupid research project.
“This is an announcement for all students. We will close the front desk in 30 minutes. Please come to the front desk for any books intended to be taken out of the library.”
“Ugh!” I quickly picked up my books, which I wanted to issue under my name, and ran to the front desk. “Hey! I can still continue studying here, right?” I asked the librarian.
“Yes, we are just closing the counter.” He nodded.
“Great,” I really needed to finish these readings cause Tae had Nadia over, and they were unreasonably loud at night.
“Hey,” I felt a shiver down my spine.
I turned around, “Yoongi…uh…hi.”
“Need help carrying those?” He asked, looking at the mountain of books, the librarian was issuing for me.
“Ah no, I’m good. I carried them all here,” I smiled. I pulled the books towards me.
“Wait, let me help. Can I just have this book?” He asked the librarian, who quickly issued his book. “Here,” He took half my bunch, “where to?”
“Umm, I’m looking for a comfy place,” I looked around.
“I know the perfect spot! C'mon,” He walked off before I could respond.
We took the lift to the 5th floor, “We have a dedicated space for the architecture wing, and that place has this tiny room, with the comfiest floor sofa with a table and a coffee counter in the next room.” Yoongi explained, all excited.
“Oh, we don’t have to. I can find a place….”
“You’ll love it. C'mon,” He sped up again before I could argue.
To his word, the place was so comfy. It also had a wall of floor-length windows at the other side of the table with a beautiful view of the campus. We sat down next to each other, and I sorted my readings.
“Are you prepping for a paper?” He asked, pulling his notebook out as well.
“Research project,” I answered.
“Ah,” he nodded. “Read on,” He smiled, getting ready to read as well.
—
Yoongi couldn’t help staring at her in between reading his book. She kept biting her pencil trying to sort through her sticky notes because she always started with a colour coding system which fell apart within minutes. It was a while before she took a break and just looked out of the window.
“How are your classes going?” He asked. He had been dying to speak to her. For the first time ever, he didn’t know what was happening in her life, and he had so much to tell her too. He liked this, though, sitting next to her. It felt like home.
“Not bad. It’s tough, but I’m trying to do better,” She responded.
“What about yours?” She asked.
“Tough. It is very new. I had to make a model the other day, and all I wanted was that little sticky tape you had for your earrings. You know, the one you stick behind your-”
“Ear tape? It’s to help with the weight,” She laughed.
“Fuck yeah, it would have helped so much to hold the weight of this stupid model,” Yoongi took out his phone to show her pictures. The wallpaper was still her, which she didn’t comment on, “look at this. It took me more than 10 days to make this, and the professor threw it against the wall.”
“Wait, what the fuck?”
“Don’t worry! He ended it by saying that people who had their projects thrown against the wall should be proud, which was me and four more of us.”
“Proud?”
“Yeah, ours was worth him looking at and critiquing, and the other 20 kids had failed.” Yoongi continued, telling her stories of all she had missed, and she instinctively told him all of hers. It was so comfortable. It was like a habit. They went out to get coffee and kept talking about places they had eaten, new content they had seen, and people they had met. “Oh, I have a friend, Jungkook, who can really help you design this landscape. I can speak to him if you like. I think he uses that software. Atleast I think so. Yeah, you can’t let that bitch win? How dare she claim your idea as hers!”
“That’ll be nice,” Yoongi gulped, remembering him from the club, and it shook him from the trance he was in right now. “You’ll be surprised. I’ve met loads of people like her.” he didn’t want their conversation to end.
They keep talking as they leave the library to walk home. Their home, which was no longer theirs, but they don’t realise it as they open their takeaway order on the table and sit down to eat.
“Ugh, my back hurts so much these days. I feel like I’m sitting and reading all the time!” Y/N stretched on the sofa as she finished showing him her research proposal.
“Come here, let me massage it a bit,” Yoongi made her turn so her back for facing his front. “Relax your shoulders,” he massaged her neck, just like she liked it. She moaned as Yoongi hit her spots, and it went right down to his dick. It had been so long since they had been together, and the noises she was making had him a little dizzy at this time of the night. “Do you like it, baby?” He asked her.
She nodded, tipping her head back as his hands went down her back, kind of dizzy herself with this feeling. It was instinct. It had to me. You couldn’t tell who kissed first, but Yoongi’s lips were on her, warm, fervent against hers. His hands went around her neck, tipping her face down and kissing her deeply.
“Oh gosh, Yoongi,” She moaned, turning her body and climbing his lap. She could feel him hard, thick against her core, as she wrapped her body around his and pulled him in further. Yoongi couldn’t pull her close enough to him. He wanted to touch all of her, all at once, have her in his veins, for it had been too long that he had her so close. It was an injustice to not have her this close to him at all times, it was wrong, and he could not think of one reason why he had let this happen.
She raised her arms as he pulled her oversized hoody off. She looked like sin, in just her bra and underwear in her hoody she liked wearing as a dress. She wastes no time getting his clothes off while trying to get him closer to her. He is so hard against her, and when he plunges into her, it feels like time stops, and it is just them at this moment.
“You feel so good,” He moans, pulling her closer and kissing her all over her chest as she moves in his lap. “Please don’t stop.”
“I’m never going to stop,” she whispers, getting his lips on her again. He fucks into her until she is sobbing in his arms and then cumming around his cock. She bites his shoulder as he releases inside her, holding her close, with her head on his chest. “Stay,” he says, and Y/N can’t think of anything else as she falls asleep in his arms.
Y/N has placed this sofa in their house, in a way where the light hits it directly during the sunrise. That’s how he knew she was gone before the sun was up.
—
One more part and we wrap? I wanted to show more of a journey for them.
What do you think?
Give me your thoughts on what you want to happen next if you like?
©mymuseagustd@2023