Kasha Spills - Tumblr Posts
Euphoria Season 1 came out when in class eleventh, the weird space and actually feeling like a teenager doing dumb shit and I actually relate to Rue a lot, I felt like Rue but without drugs (I haven't even touched alcohol outside chemistry lab). But putting that aside I knew we all wanted to be Maddy. I actually even had a great friend like Maddy.
Fast forward to season two, I hated Cassie in it, I could understand her but... And now while waiting for season 3 (yes I am) and on re-watch and reconnecting with my past I realised that I kind of did exactly what I hated Cassie for. I did that before even season 2 released.
So in my 12th class I dated a guy for the first time in my life. I knew what kind of a boy he was. My best friend had a crush on him since ninth... everyone said they would and should be a great couple and he teased things with her for three years while they both had different partners but none serious.
But I probably wasn't in the best place and pandemic was going on so I just agreed to be with him in a relationship because we were those academic rivals who never talked. I was very much invisible for him since we first met but I had this embarrassing Wattpad phase (a nerd being asked out by a popular hot boy?!)
I knew my best friend liked him, she even had this fantasies about their future together since they had same stream, same class. Those got talked in front of me since just like Cassie and Nate our arrangement was secret.
All the stuff I did for his validation from starving myself to not sleeping whole nights... Only to get ignored in hallways and pretend as if we had nothing going on. Its hilarious now.
And yes, at a point my friendship was on verge of falling apart. My others best friend got to know but not her. That was such a trauma for me that I actually cried a whole night and pretty much was just existing for a week before I got ghosted and dumped for not having a guy as my first priority.
Me and friends are now 21 and she still don't know such thing happened until now and I had also pretty much forgetted it all but I just listened to WILDFLOWER by Billie Eilish and I— I called her and cried.
Yes I am crying for myself and Cassie and Billie too if she wrote this song for dating her friend's ex.
I mean imagine dating a guy so horrible that— that you turn to whole other sex for love. That your sexuality change? Or you realise?
And he was a homophobic and player and a red flag I refused to see as every other teenager.
Cassie is a teenager and I think I hated her because her storyline was very much similar to mine and it was being potrayed and I was afraid someone will find out. I think she doesn't deserve the hate when all her life she was the one being objectified for none of her fault. If people refused to see beyond that and yes that carousel scene in the play was unnecessary.
And also no guy can be better than your friend, seriously. I don't where that guy is now but I am still in touch with my friends. She even told me that it doesn't matter now because I am her friend and she knew—
