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═ஓ๑Til Death Do Us Part๑ஓ═

Crybaby x gn!reader

Warnings: death, funerals, hallucinations, implied su1cid3

604 words

now playing…

The sound of rain fills your ears, blocking out the prayers of the pastor in the front of the group. You stare at the closed casket, taking in its details. You memorize the carvings on it, along with the engraving of her name. It was so intricate; just how she would’ve liked it.

Tears well in your eyes as they lower her into the ground, falling along with the raindrops coating your cheeks. You watch as people throw things into the six foot hole; crosses, flowers, necklaces, photos.

Time passes and you’re not sure how much. Minutes? Hours? You don’t really care anymore. The grass squishes underneath your shoes as you walk over to the place that held her deceased body. You sit on the ground, knowing you’re making a mess of your black clothing but you can’t find it in you to care. There’s already a small pool of water surrounding the wood encasing her.

You reach into your pocket, pulling out a necklace that she had gifted you for your birthday. She couldn’t make it to your party, and she felt horrible. You were upset, but now you would have given anything to go back and tell her that it was okay, that you didn’t care, that you were happy she was there then. A small clink is heard as you clasp it around your neck, toying with the metal that hangs from the chain.

Walking home felt like walking to the other side of the world; a waste of time. There wasn’t anything to look forward to. She was your everything. As you find yourself on the front steps of your house, you can’t find it in you to open the door. Everything in there felt like too much to deal with. You stand there for an unknown amount of time before you unlock the door, and it takes a great amount of strength to step inside.

You take off your shoes and coat, leaning your back against the door. A quiet sob breaks through your throat as you slide down onto the floor, bringing your knees to your chest. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Not at all. You and her were supposed to live together in a cottage somewhere far away from everything, dancing together in the rain. Now the rain reminds you of her funeral.

You miss running your fingers through her silky hair, or helping her dye her blonde side different colours. You miss talking shit about school, the Principal and the bullies. You miss playing with her at recess, sitting on the swings even though you weren’t supposed to. You miss singing with her as you bake cake and cookies. You miss her soft lips on yours, her hands playing with your hair as you both break away giggling softly with your foreheads pressed together.

Now, that all feels so distant. Like it was so long ago, or maybe it never happened.

Your head lifts up after what seems like forever, your eyes puffy and red from crying. Small sniffles emit from you as you stand up, following the source of quiet cries coming from your bedroom. You open the door, and see nothing. As you walk into the room, the door slams shut with a loud sob in the air. You rub your eyes and the doors open; the crying stops. You feel a gentle tap on your shoulder and you turn around to be met with nothing. Maybe you’re going crazy.

Or maybe now that you find yourself on the balcony, looking down two stories, this seems like it’s the best option.