Just Ranting - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
i want someone to love me and adore me as much as cat owners love their cats
getting over somebody you never dated
except you did date them but it was in middle school but they were literally one of the best friends you ever had and even after they clearly couldn't stick to dating one person alone and you had to break up with them you were still each others perfect complement and continue to be so but they're a bad person who cheats and lies and manipulates but they're soft with you but you know it isn't real but kind of wonder if it is because they haven't changed around you since middle school and you're forever a little flirty and in love with each other and every time you talk you're best friends again but because it was middle school nobody lets you count it as a real relationship because you're young adults now and you let it slide because you hate them but you also don't and can't and never will and they're so mean to you but really they aren't they just call you out on your bullshit and you do the same thing but they have a lot more bullshit than you and you just really, really deeply in your soul know that they will never ever be a good person for you and refuse to heal from what hurt them and also kind of enjoy being a bad person who takes from people but when you're with them they're eleven again. And so are you. And you're wearing unicorn leggings and they're complimenting said leggings and they think you're the funniest, prettiest, most enthralling and intelligent and talented person they've ever met and they make sure you always know that and you both secretly always believe you're soulmates but awkwardly dance around that concept just like you did when you were eleven and twelve and awkwardly dancing around like-liking each other and you know they would always come back to you and you'd like to let them but value yourself too much to let them and sometimes, actually most times, you wonder if being with them could possibly hurt as much as being without them. And you know it would and all of your friends would be so mad at you and you'd be so humiliated and the only one who would understand would be your mom who went through the same thing and the only thing that stopped the feeling for her is that he fucking died and they have birthdays two days apart and you wonder if the universe is throwing round two at you and goddammit you wish you were eleven again and sharing a phone with your brothers and frantically saying goodnight while your oldest brother stands in your doorway looking pissed off and you hold their hand in the bleachers the next morning but pretend you aren't into it but you're still holding their hand anyway when you decide you're better of as friends and you still held their hand freshman year in history class because the lecture was boring and they let you color their bracelet in highlighters and told your shitty mean friends about it but they didn't get it and asked why you'd want to date someone you talked so much shit about and you say that you don't but that they haven't changed a bit and you miss how you feel with them and how you understand each other and you still make sly eye contact in sophomore year biology even when you date their best friend that sucked so bad he made you think you only liked girls and you still chose to sit behind them in psychology junior year and talk every day and let them pick your brain and laughed with them at lunch and let them take pictures of you so they could post them on your birthday but they never did because they had another girlfriend that they were cheating on again and you also watched them every day in english that year and were so happy to be in groups with them and you still drew them in your free time and you still watched them in english again your senior year because they looked so beautiful and had grown so much and were so confident now and you still dedicated an entire painting to them in your art class that nobody actually knew the meaning of. But I guess you never dated for real.
Do you ever have those moments? You know the moments when your with your favorite person whom you have put on this pedestal high above you and you just wonder when will this go wrong? When will they realize they could be with anyone? That I’m not worthy of their time? That I’m beneath them? How long do I have before this great thing falls apart? Before I ruin this like everything else? God I hate those moments, but I do my best to look that sad broken child in the eye. The one who whispers this fear and doubt to me. I look and whip their tears even if I start to cry sometimes and hug them. It’s okay I whisper just don’t think about it right now. Enjoy the moment before it becomes a memory. Then sometimes I just fucking yeet that little shit like a fucking football and laugh. Then other times I break down with them.
Hungry
A Long Rant About Why Hope and Snow’s Arc is Brilliant
"You've changed, haven't you? Seems like you've toughened up."
"I'm a l'Cie. I had to."
"The only ones that ought to be fighting the army…are us dumb grown-ups."
"You think it's stupid to fight?"
"It is if you get killed. Anyway, just lay low. Let the dummies duke it out. The army's no match for NORA, right?"
"He was…he was smiling!"
Let's talk about this. LET US TALK ABOUT THIS!
In just one scene this game managed to make you believe that Hope and Snow are going to implode.
Right before this, when Hope was with Lightning, Hope was on the path to healing. He'd confessed what happened to his mother - for the first time since the incident, I might add, - and how much he hates Snow. The Gapra Whitewood alone is amazing but let's stay focused.
Lightning and Hope are brilliant together, with Lightning seeing what her influence as a role model is doing to an innocent kid. She's a maternal figure, both to her sister and eventually to Hope, but she's been running from her failure to save and believe in her sister as well as losing her entire home and identity. She finally realizes that the warpath she's on is unhealthy and the wrong path for her. Maybe she'd succeed in toppling the Sanctum, maybe she wouldn't have, but an enemy and a goal are things she can kill and accomplish.
The only problem is Hope. When she gives him the advice that she herself is following, to control her emotions, find an end goal and block out everything else, she starts to see how unhealthy her choices are both physically and mentally. She's sent Hope on a warpath, and when she finally announces that "I made a mistake!", Hope is still left angry, thinking there's nothing left if he doesn't have anyone to fight. Hope is shouting at her "Then what battles do we fight? And against who?!"
When she finally convinces Hope to calm down, he says "I'm sorry, I messed up" and you can feel his anger slowly fading as he regains his reason. At the end of that section, Hope's final words are, "Snow believed Serah, didn't he?" That one line demonstrates how Hope is willing to see past his first impressions of Snow and listen to who he is as a person, that maybe Snow really was just trying to save everyone. Both Lightning and Hope together are on the path to forgiving Snow and healing for their own sake.
Then, the next scene happens. They're reminded of how little hope they have of surviving, how they're on the run, how Rosch reminds the army that they aren't people, they're targets. Lightning immediately volunteers to sacrifice herself if it will give Hope a chance to live and find himself in whatever time he has left - "You survive."
Snow was a bonus, since she doesn't want Hope with her while she takes on the whole army and draws their fire so Hope can get away, but leaving him with Snow is safer than bringing her with him. She chucks him at Snow saying "Take care of him", knowing Hope will be uncomfortable but he'll be protected. She likely didn't account for Fang following her and hadn't intended Hope to be left alone with Snow.
Fun bonus is that when Hope is thrown off of Shiva and the soldiers converge on him, Hope rises to his feet and is already in a battle stance. When Snow last saw this kid, he cowered at nothing but the hopelessness of their situation, much less a soldier aiming their weapon at him, but now Hope was fully ready to kick those guys' butts if Snow hadn't intervened. And so began the slow descent as Hope started seeing everything he hated in Snow - Snow automatically assumed he couldn't defend himself, that Snow needed to save the day.
Hope had begun to forgive Snow, hearing Lightning coming to the realization that he believed Serah when no one else did and believed in her when she was ready to give up because of her fate. Then Snow is back in his arrogant glory, treating Hope like a kid because he hasn't seen all the growth Hope has gone through. Lightning treated him like a kid until Odin happened and she started properly supporting him to grow stronger rather than just "babysitting" him. She talked to Hope like he was an adult with a little less life experience - which is how you should be treating a kid as smart as Hope.
Then the scene comes up.
But Snow keeps calling him "partner" in their battle quotes and taking charge when Hope clearly already knows what he's doing now thanks to Lightning.
Hope is a bit confused at where Snow's been and what he's been up to with a branch of the army trying to kill them, but he's passive aggressive at best. Just because he doesn't want to kill Snow anymore doesn't mean he has to like him. Snow does not get the hint, still seeing Hope as just a kid and he has a right to teen angst considering all he's been through.
"The only ones that ought to be fighting the army…are us dumb grown-ups."
From Snow's perspective: he's telling Hope that kids shouldn't have to go through such a horrible thing, to have the whole army training their guns on you and calling you nothing but a target. Hope shouldn't have to be running for his life, taking on the military that's supposed to be protecting citizens and kids like him. Adults are just dumb like that, getting ourselves into trouble. Kids should be smarter than that - be smarter than that, Hope.
From Hope's perspective: Snow just called any adult who tries to fight the army a fool - including his mother when she volunteered to help fight their way out of the Purge. She fought because Snow asked for volunteers (he knows but often forgets that her main reason for joining was to keep Hope safe; Snow hadn't even thought of asking for volunteers until a bunch of people asked to help them). He just called Nora a fool for fighting to save Hope’s life at Snow’s behest.
"You think it's stupid to fight?"
"It is if you get killed."
Whew we're just gonna stop right there mid-sentence. In those two sentences we managed to create two sides of a conversation that perfectly encapsulate the miscommunication between Hope and Snow that’s driving a 14-year-old kid into a murderous rage even after he'd begun a path to healing.
Snow just called adults stupid for fighting the army, then he goes and pushes it further by saying that it’s only really stupid if you get killed. From Snow's perspective, this is a perfectly reasonable thing to say. It helps no one if you run into battle and get killed - no matter if it's just your life on the line or if you have others you're trying to protect. The people you're trying to protect don't necessarily benefit from your sacrificing yourself by throwing yourself at the enemy in a desperate kamikaze, and Hope himself shouldn't just give up on his life even when the army has them outnumbered and they have no plan - he'll find hope to go forward, he should never just give up and go out in a blaze of rageful spite.
From Hope's perspective, that idiot just insulted his mother! He just called Nora stupid for fighting the army even though she had multiple good reasons to have volunteered - Snow asking for volunteers and putting civilians into the line of fire (even though they were already and Nora joined for Hope and it was entirely her choice). Then he calls her especially stupid because she got herself killed.
In essence, Snow just voiced the thoughts of everyone who hates on Nora's character in general. “She was a MOTHER, what was she DOING volunteering to FIGHT, “Moms are tough”? psssh she DIED, what an idiot.”
I was angry for Hope in that moment, man. I was ready to stab Snow too.
"Anyway, just lay low. Let the dummies duke it out. The army's no match for NORA, right?"
Ooof, and then we have the final line where Snow uses the name NORA as his acronym for "No Obligations, Rules, or Authority." As Lightning had told Hope in the Gapra Whitewood, (let me quote the datalog entry for that moment): “They wish to live without restrictions, she explains, though some might argue that what they really wish is to live without responsibility.” This means that Snow just used NORA in the context of ignoring the responsibility of those who he himself brought into the battle under his leadership. He was in charge of those volunteers, including Nora, but now he acts as though he’s forgotten all of the weight of their deaths that were directly or indirectly his fault.
So in conclusion, Snow just insulted Nora Estheim in three different ways in the span of one short conversation. Nice going, bud.
To be clear, it’s made very obvious in the beginning that Snow is absolutely crushed by the guilt of everyone who died under his command. Nora in particular has traumatized him because he blames himself for letting her fall out of his grip (see this post for that rant). Snow isn't a children's cartoon character telegraphing his every thought and the lesson you need to learn from him; he's repressing his feelings and he's very good at hiding it. He is brilliant at acting like he's happy and fine and running away from the guilt because if he let it crush him, more people would get hurt because he was too distracted and didn't protect them.
His breakdown when Hope presses him explains the final puzzle piece: he didn’t know how to possibly atone - so he just kept avoiding it.
“There is nothing that can make something like that right again. When someone’s dead, when someone’s gone, words are useless…I know! It’s all my fault! But I don’t know how to fix it! Where do you start? What do you say?”
When Hope finally wakes up, Snow has finally come to terms with his guilt and confesses it outright. It was his fault Nora died, he shouldn’t have said a lot of what he said before about words being useless, how he could never make up for someone dying so he needed to keep going.
“I thought if I couldn’t make up for it, then all the apologies in the world wouldn’t mean thing. So I decided I had to find a way to pay for it first, before I’d even have the right to say sorry. But, it’s like you said. I was using that as an excuse, so I could run from my own guilt.”
Snow finally acknowledges that he’s been running, that Nora’s death is his fault, and notice that he hands Hope Lightning’s knife, telling him to dish out any punishment he wants. Hope could kill Snow right then and there, but instead, he just finally confesses, “She’s gone, Snow.”
Hope closes the knife. He lets go of his hate.
Let’s quote the datalog again, because no one likes reading except me, apparently, but the datalog has genuinely brilliant writing: “He didn’t survive this long to see revenge - he saw revenge as a means to survive.”
Palumpolum concludes three character arcs:
Lightning
She admits how she snapped from losing Serah and her life all at once and went down a dangerous warpath (dragging Hope along with her)
She finds a new goal in surviving to see Serah wake up
She apologizes to Snow!
Hope
He gathered the strength to pin the blame on Snow despite knowing it was the Sanctum’s fault for killing her, despite knowing killing him wouldn’t bring her back
He acknowledges that he went down the wrong path, even if he did it to survive
He accepts his mother’s death
He forgives Snow
Snow
He admits that Nora’s death is his fault and that he’s been running from the guilt of not only her but many who died because of him
He was too overwhelmed by the idea that he didn’t know how to atone for his actions, so he just kept avoiding his responsibility
He faces the consequences, apologizes even knowing that it won’t fix everything
Anyway, if you made it this far, here’s a picture of some chocobos and sheep just hanging out in order to form a barrier:
On the next edition of Final Fantasy XIII actually had really good character arcs: Sugar and Rainbows
Now here's a serious question: in Valisthea, are dragoons (and everyone if they have the training) able to naturally jump like this, or do they have to be using magic - perhaps Light magic specifically? Some of Dion's attack jumps are specifically using Light magic to create the shockwave, but in this instance we see he doesn't have to be doing a Jump/Dive attack to be able to just launch himself further than any regular jump should manage.
One of the more hilarious things in the game is that the jump button for Clive makes him jump like a NORMAL PERSON. Unlike in, say FF13 (the sequels especially where there is a designated jump button), he can't naturally launch himself from a dead stop to arguably higher than his own height (magically enhanced or not). I question the inclusion of a jump button if it's going to be so useless and you have Garuda powers to launch you in the air if necessary.
So does that mean in Sanbreque, with their prejudices against Bearers, technically the dragoons are using some kind of magic-infused armor or weapons while still not wielding actual magic themselves? Is Dion the only one capable of using a Jump/Dive without it needing to be an attack? Is this why Dion always has his spear when he Primes - to help him focus his magic? When shit went down in Twinside, he Primed *without* holding his spear, but it was present when he eventually De-primed, suggesting that it is somehow tied to his Prime (or the devs needed him to have his spear in the next cutscene and didn't want us to think about it that hard).
Sidenote: why did the game feel it necessary to tease Dion dying here? Did it feel like that to anyone else? Like "I will be with you anon" as the last man to fight to buy the ship enough time to eacape...and he does - proving in the process that he is far better to be the last man buying the ship time when Clive's escape against the Sleipnirs ended with him barely clinging to the Enterprise and telling Mid to punch it. Dion is able to actually jump a long distance even when the ship is taking off. Cool. But why focus on Dion buying them a few extra seconds? Just to show off for ONE scene? Why did it feel like they were teasing that he might not make it...when he easily does?
Anyway, I rant as always
DION LESAGE ↳ Elusive Jump
Bro, I wanted to do inktober so bad, but the arm pains say no 😭😭😭😭😭 Sitting with my right arm wrapped in a heating pad pretending to be left handed rn... Still gonna try to pick one prompt per week to do bc my gay audacity says so
Warrior Cats brainrot rant about the first arc(s). Mainly about Pinestar.
Pinestar is my favorite character in all of WC, my #1. He was the smartest character of any character, and honestly still very much is the smartest. It's because he left, he realizes how useless the things the Clans fought for were. He was 100% right about everything he told Bluefur while coming back from the Moonpool.
Like:
"They'll forgive us for the attack, then hate us for some other reason. Just as the other Clans will. The four Clans will be enemies till the end. ... and yet we all want the same things; prey to hunt, a safe territory, and peace to share our dreams with our ancestors. Why must we hate one another over such simple desires?" - Pinestar, the most based mf to ever live.
Everyone knows how problematic his forced relationship with Leopardfoot was, but that wasn't Pinestars fault in any way. The authors were just very ignorant with his character writing. Leopardfoot and Pinestar literally had NO chemistry WHATSOEVER.
Pinestar shouldn't have been given a mate at all. The guy has so much aroace energy, literally he was randomly given a she-cat to have a kit with only so Tigerstar can have (very meaningless) daddy issues.💀
Pinestars character was very neglected by the authors and thrown to the side when he had so much more potential. He should've influenced Bluestar way more, Bluestar should've thought back on him more throughout her leadership. He definitely had a huge impact on her upbringing. It's honestly sad how poorly he's written because of how much potential he had, he could've changed a lot about the Clans. Or, he could've at least influenced someone to change the Clans because he didn't have the strength to do it himself.
Going back to my brief mentioning about how Pinestar is aroace; yeah I said it. I said what everyone else was too afraid to say. My manns had the most aroace energy EVER, the authors forcing him to have a mate literally got me so angry like WHY BRO WHY?! HE DIDN'T NEED A MATE OR KITS AT ALL, IT'S LITERALLY ONLY THERE FOR TIGERSTARS BENEFIT AND THEY REALLY DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH THAT LORE ANYWAYS???
A n y w a y s . . .
I have a lot more to say, but will leave this here due to braincell leakage. Here's a sketch I made of my manns that deserved way better than what he got:)
I love him. He deserves the world and not to be written so shittily]:(
Doesn't make sense how in Warriors there's still cats who don't believe in StarClan after Omen of the Stars??? Anyone else ever think about that??
Like, I love Cloudtail, and Mothwing is one of my top favorite characters, but it REALLY doesn't make ANY sense that they don't believe in StarClan or the Dark Forest when it is SO APPARENT in the books that StarClan is incredibly real._.
tyrion lannister choosing to go in front of viserion and rhaegal after only seeing drogon from a distance to free them from the chains is a girlboss move 100%