Incorrect War And Peace Quotes - Tumblr Posts

How Do War and Peace Characters Drink Their Coffee?

Pierre: Strong, so I don't need to sleep.

Fyodor: Straight from the coffee pot!

Prince Andrey: Bitter, like my soul.

Princess Marya: He's lying, he likes cinnamon lattes because they remind him of Christmas.

Hélène: I drink wine.

Natasha: I'm not allowed to drink coffee anymore because one time I drank too much coffee and I couldn't tell the difference between the floor and the ceiling and everyone freaked out.

Dolokhov when asked about the policeman and the bear:

Shakespeare characters as random things in my notes app

Lady Macbeth: It was so cunt of him to die

Hamlet, talking about Claudius: He looks like his hairline got a restraining order from his forehead.

Also Hamlet: After I found out I had a silly little mental disorder, I was like, “what if I went to England?”

Mercutio, angrily: If I was a shark, I would eat Tybalt.

Hamlet, with an idea for a play: I say, “beef jerky.” The camera pans to you, saying “No! Please no!” Then it pans back over to me. I am beef jerky.

Hamlet, with another idea for a play: I’m gonna write a one-act comedy of The Last Supper. Yes, “Judas, you’ve been awfully quiet.”

Laertes, to the tune of Creep by Radiohead: 🎶 I’m a crêpe 🎶

More to come.