Im Hurt Im Very Much Hurt - Tumblr Posts

Major ORV spoilers!!

obsessed with how haunted every inch of orv feels, how its entire narrative, every sentence, every inch of dialogue is haunted by kim dokja

because like when you take a step back and look at it, orv never had kim dokja in it at all

the entirety of orv is created and written by all of kimcom, except kim dokja to find and save kim dokja

they had to take their memories of him, the constellation's memories, (probably past live streams let's be honest) They had to use what they knew and fill in the blanks whatever fit best

and kim dokja was definitely there. their memories of him weren't wrong, I'm not saying orv is a lie, but no matter how accurate their interpretation of kim dokja was, he still was never there, in the story, he never helped them write it, he was gone, and this book is their gravestone of him

This time, if he's able to come back, all he'll need to do is knock on the coffin that they've laid next to it, that they don't have the courage-- and probably never will-- to bury

and when you re-read orv with that fact in your head, it kinda fucks you up?

you're in his head, but you're separated by more than just a single wall this time, The fourth wall that comes with all books is almost enhanced by barrier after barrier (kim dokja's own fourth wall, his unreliable narration etc. etc.)

and kim dokja was never really there-- not yet at least, and you're left with the ghost of him, haunting every interaction, every unlucky smile, every single happy moment, and you can feel everyone's pain bleeding through the paper, begging you to read this and love him and love yourself

kimcom is haunted by kim dokja, the book itself is haunted by Kim Dokja, even the reader, after they finish, might be haunted by him

and I just want to make it clear I'm not saying all of the things in the book are false! they are kim dokja, just 99% of him

the other 1% is what the fragment of him determines in their head

but you get my point, that it's that single one percent that kimcom can never achieve on their own that fuels the book, that single one percent that haunts them, like a carrot on a stick they'll never reach