I Just Needed To Get This Out - Tumblr Posts
Do you know this feeling where you start doubting your own oc and their story? When you think that, maybe, it is a bunch of nonsense you should keep for yourself? That's happening to me right now and I hate that x_x
I feel like a new kid who doesn't dare to play with the others cuz my toys aren't cool enough.
as someone that is suicidal and has been since I was like, 11 years old, it pisses me off to the MAX when people say shit like "there's so much to live for! life is so beautiful! if you just stay here, you'll see!" like.....no there's not, no it isn't, and I've waited for years now and things have gotten worse. so stop with the fucking guilt tripping and manipulation, life isn't gonna be amazing for everyone and it's not something that everyone is gonna want, either. same with the people that say "oh well I'll miss you, I love you" when you say that nobody's gonna miss you.......no you don't, you don't know me, as much as I appreciate the effort. I've evaluated my life, my situation, and even thought of best case scenarios for the future and it's still gonna be just as miserable as it is now and how miserable it's been for the past 15 years I've been alive. and everyone always wants to say "oh you're just being pessimistic, oh you're just being ungrateful, oh you're just young, it'll be different when you're older", I'm just being real about it. out of everything I've ever wanted before, not having to be alive anymore is still #1 on my list, and always will be. the only reason I'm still here now is because of my nephew and because I'm too exhausted and tired to actually kill myself.
Stay away from this guy at all cost.
Ok so... I'm sorry if this seems like I'm bringing this up again, but I feel like warning y'all about some other things
So, Fergus was found out to fake anon hate, spam, stuff like that?
There's... So many other things that's happened. So this will probably be a long one. I also just wanna mention this, I'm doing this because I'm still paranoid. I still feel like he's doing the same thing over and over again. Like hell, the reason he deleted Tumblr was because I had a friend tell him to leave me alone. So... Major tw warning for some things said here
Luckily enough, I managed to recover my conversations with him on discord. I'll start off with something that could be considered not to bad, but bad.
Taking an oc without me knowing
He tried taking a oc from me without telling me, only to say that he never really used said oc and said he never "claimed said oc" well..
I didn't want to give Sluggy off (because 1. I was very proud of his design and 2. I had already started making his backstory) he even submitted sluggy to a au blog, that's the only reason I found out that he'd done this. (Luckily the person running the blog understood and took sluggy down... I still appreciate that)
Misgendering
Where do I begin? Fergus had misgendered @robotic-railways
He said his mind had auto corrected to "she/her" pronouns
How do you find that as a XD moment?? Robo had even told you BEFORE when you joined the fandom, how could you auto correct it as such??? Robo has it litterly right there.
Wtf do I even name this part??
Massive tw warning;
I can only fit so much, but just.. Why. I had to ask for Fergus to stop, and do something cheery because of how overwhelming it was. Of course, he said he would. Only to restart the rp to where the character didn't get m**led to death. He still did a bit extreme angst either way.
I am making this to just... Warn everyone and hopefully spread awareness. I'm not trying to bring back any drama. I just want to at least maybe come to peace and not be paranoid anymore.
BRAGGING TO YOUR FRIENDS TALKING I GET OFF WHEN YOU HIT IT HATE TO TELL THE TRUTH BUT IM SORRY THAT YOU DIDN'T
HATE THAT I LET THIS DRAG ON SO LONG NOW I HATE MYSELF
IS IT CASUAL NOW?? I KNOW WHAT YOU TELL YOUR FRIENDS IS IT CASUALLLLLLL
So i was trying to fall asleep when Love Of My Life by Queen started playing and I just had the saddest idea so now you're all ought to hear it.
Imagine a scene in S3 where klaus discovers that he failed again. Dave still died, just not on the A -Shau Valley , and this time they never even met. So Klaus goes to the graveyard where Dave lies, trying so hard to ignore all the ghosts calling for his name. Once he gets to the headstone, he sinks down to his knees and reaches with one hand the cold stone where his lovers name is engraved, while the other goes to wrap around the metal of said lovers dog tags. [All while a slow piano ballad is playing in the background] Klaus then touches his forehead to the stone tablet and just fucking breaks down. We have him profusely apologizing and calling out Dave's name. Here love of my life starts playing . The camera slowly pans out and we cut to Flashbacks of their in Vietnam. Maybe the first I love yous or something like that. Happy moments where we get to see both of them being in love, where we get more of Dave's character and what he is actually like .