I Have No Idea What To Tag This - Tumblr Posts
I was summoned >:)
Egg: scrambled (with cheese!)
Steak: rare
Milk: almond
Alcohol: nuh uh
warm drink: peach tea with a boatload of honey
@theonlymadmanonmars

No, I absolutely did not get the concept wrong. In fact, I know exactly what you mean: in Russia traditionally Slavic dragon is called “zmey,” whilst more traditionally western dragon is called “drakon”. and they are two distinct beings. However, Tugarin is 100% a zmey, because:
a. That how he’s called in every possible reiteration of the story including the poem from which the fairytale originated in which you can totally see that the princess simps for Tugarin: https://lukoshko.net/story/alesha-popovich-i-tugarin-zmeevich.htm
b. He is never described as a “drakon”, he is described as a large, imposing man riding a black horse which spits fire. He is also associated with bad weather which makes him a zmey since zmeys are said to be able to control weather throughout the entire Slavic mythos.
And you completely missed the point of my post. I just wanted to call out the creators of the cartoon for racism. Because they COULD have made him fearsome AND not racist you know? I mean that was already done with Shan Yu from Mulan.
And also what made you believe that fearsome =/= hot? Cuz, I have bad news for you, since there are lots of outright monstrously terrifying characters that people simp for because they are hot (Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate immediately comes to mind).
I am unhealthily obsessed with Slavic dragons in particular, since I’m making a webcomic in which the main character is a Slavic dragoness, so like... I do know what I’m talking about.
Racist Russian BS
So, for some reason I found out that my favorite Russian fairytale had an animated version. I’m talking about “Alyosha Popovich and Tugarin zmey” which is a story about how Russian princess had an affair with Mongolian dragon and then Alyosha killed the dragon because HoW dArE hE fUcK tHe PrInCeSs.. This is standard Slavic shit because in our mythology dragons have a human form which is irresistibly hot and they are also so amazing at sex that people who spent the night with a dragon lose interest in having sex with humans completely.
Anyways, how do you think Russians depicted a Mongolian dragon who is supposed to be Adonis level of hot and superhuman sex machine in the unholy year of 2004?

Like this.
I honestly wish I was joking. For comparison, here’s an illustration of the fairytale from NINETEENTH CENTURY (1868 to be more precise):

Tugarin is the one on winged horse. So i’m asking: WTF Russia? If your art from 21st century is more racist than art from 19th century, you’re definitely doing something wrong. I would like to ask Russians on Tumblr if they have an answer, but I think the answer is Putin, am I right?
Anyways, I wanted to draw Tugarin in my own way, just to cleanse my mind from this racist BS and I ended up with this:

I think he’s hot enough. Also, I mixed Asian and Slavic dragon designs because he is in a Slavic story, but he also is Asian, so I kinda wanted his design to reflect this. Would you watch this fairytale as an anime with cool fights? I know I would lol. It’s much better than alll the racism that’s happening in the cartoon. Which is a shame, because the story is good and the characters are fine. The only problem that the cartoon has is racism (and some misogyny, but that’s normal for Russian cinema in general, so I didn’t touch on that).
i dont know why or how but this scenario popped into my head
daughter: im drawing this for art class
father: but you dont have art class
daughter: i know im a failure as an artist
i.. completely forgot about the fact that you wrote this..
it is amazing, thank you for this new literary work

bet
i’m going to change the names but, here you go;
Luca set down the pregnancy test, letting it rest on the edge of the sink. Impatiently, he tapped his foot against the tiled floor as he awaited the results. “C’mon..” He mumbled with bated breath as the at-home test took painfully long to show results. “Hurry up..!” Slowly but surely, the second line formed and a positive pregnancy test now rested on the sink.
~ ~ ~
Jonathan, Luca’s long-time boyfriend and the father of his child, was sprawled out on their bed. Absolutely drenching their once dry pillows in drool while Luca stood next to the bed and simply watched. Not in a creepy, watching someone sleep way, rather, he was trying to gather the courage to actually, wake Jonathan up. Finally, with a shaky hand, he placed it on Jonathan’s shoulder. “Jonathan-“ He gently shook Jonathan’s body. “-Wake up.”
“Nnngh-” Jonathan sleepily swatted away Luca’s hand before he rolled over, now facing away from the figure trying to wake him up. “Go awayy..”
“Jonathan, this is important!”
“Just-tell me later,” Jonathan huffed in frustration. What was so important this early in the morning??
“Jonathan!”
“Ughh, fiiine.“ Jonathan groaned in frustration as he sat up and began to rub exhaustion from his eyes. “I’m up. Now, what did you want?”
Luca sighed heavily. Here comes the hard part.. “I’m Pregnant.” He blurted out before his anxiety could overpower him.
Dumbfounded, Jonathan just, sat there for a moment. The words ‘I’m pregnant’ echoed around his head for a while, slowly becoming more and more real. “You’re serious?” Johnathan began slowly. “You’re not just fucking with me?”
“No..” Luca whispered almost inaudibly.
“Oh my gosh, this is- amazing,” Jonathan finally said after a moment of silence, “We-We’re going to be fathers! Luca!” He smiled brightly over at his lover. “Gosh, what should we name it?”
“Oh, I don’t know..” Luca laughed softly as he sat down on the edge of their bed. “Maybe..” He tapped a mindless rhythm against the bedsheets as he thought up some ideas.
“Oh! Maybe something like Nathenial,” Jonathan suggested. “Or.. Superfly.”
“Are-are those both male, or-?”
“Both.”
“Maybe we’ll leave the naming to me.”
(both of those names were suggested by ‘jonathan’, also ‘jonathan’ told me he DOES in fact drool in his sleep, so, canon compliant mpreg /silly)
OKAY, SECOND FIC! (vomit warning)
Knelt down over the toilet, Luca hacked up a mix of what was left of last night’s dinner and stomach acid. “Ughh..” He groaned in discomfort once the puking finally ceased. Luca slowly stood up with shaky legs, holding onto the edge of the sink to keep steady as he reached over to flush. As the contents of his stomach washed down the drain, Luca looked at himself in the mirror with furrowed brows. He looked so tired. Not just physically tired but emotionally too.. Gods he needed a coffee. “Jonathan?” He glanced towards the bathroom door as he called out for his boyfriend.
….
No response. Okay, odd. Luca could’ve *sworn* Jonathan wasn’t in bed when he woke up, so surely he was awake. With a frustrated sigh, Luca stumbled out of the bathroom and into the living room of their shitty apartment. “Jonathan?” He repeated.
…
Silence, again.
Luca’s eyes narrowed in confusion as he reached towards the pocket of his pajama pants and pulled out his phone. 7:32 AM. Jonathan didn’t leave for work that early, so.. where was he? Did he not come home from the store last night? Oh gosh, was Jonathan in danger? Could he have gotten attacked??
With his mind spiraling to more and more paranoia, Luca punched in his passcode (his and Jonathan’s anniversary) and opened up his and Jonathan’s texts. No unread messages from him, the last few texts all things from last night before James went to bed.
The conversation began with Jonathan texting Luca a simple, “im gonna pick up some milk from the store b4 i come home”. Nothing suspicious. Luca was lying in bed when he got the text, scrolling through listings for cheap apartments that could potentially hold their soon-to-be-born-child. He, of course, didn’t think anything of his loving boyfriend sending a text about picking up milk and naturally responded with a simple; “ok <3”. But now, looking back at the texts, Luca was starting to get a tad suspicious. Didn’t he go out and get groceries a few days ago? How would two people use an entire gallon of milk in four days? Luca’s cravings weren’t that bad! He tossed his phone onto the couch before walking over to the kitchen. Practically throwing the door open to see.. Milk. A barely used bottle of milk. So, where the fuck did Jonathan go?
@facelessthefreak
I just wanted to try this au from kous pov (what’s happening to him in the middle school division, heavily inspired by the reblog I had gotten from that post, it had me thinking and I haven’t posted anything in a while).
Kou’s life in the middle school part of the summer camp was going to be miserable, the entire summer was like a never ending horror plot of a crappy scary movie. Maybe he was being a little dramatic, sue him. The summer camp was known for its many scary stories and rumors,a 13 year old by the name Mitsuba Sousuke is said to haunt the lake at night and if you are to swim there at night he will break your neck and you will drown an agonizing death down the lake, he is said to have drowned in the lake in the middle of the night unexpectedly slipping on the deck, hitting his head and breaking his neck in the summer of ‘75, another one is that a ghost Hanako-San haunts the infamous cabin 101 (nobody ever tries to get that cabin, cause all the students that either died later on or ran out screaming for there life). Hanako was said to have commited suicide in that same cabin in the 60’s. Many rumors spiraling around that.
Lucky Kou cause that’s the cabin he ended up getting, but his new ‘roommate’ was no match for him, by terms that no matter how hard Hanako tried (to which Kou found out wasn’t a girl) he couldn’t scare him. Later on, Kou learned that Hanako was actually was a very goofy and smiley ghost. Kou later on met Mitsuba (who had his same cabin when he was alive) because he and Hanako played cards along with the Mokke and gossiped and complained about all the other ghosts haunting the middle school part, which he found out that the middle school division was the only place haunted by the ghosts and supernaturals of the entire summer camp (and the lake, and the hiking trails are full of Mokke if you can see them)
Kou also found out Mitsuba wasn’t as scary as the rumors, in fact he was cocky and annoying. He found his summer camp quite enjoyable until he experienced his own horrors, seeing his brother try to kill Akane many times (for some unfathmable reason, Hanako seemed afraid of Akane but at the same time he admired him, Mitsuba’s eyes sparkled in admiration as well but when Kou questioned it he quickly denied it) the pretty lady with the large ankles that he sees walking down the path in front of the cabins at night that always flashes him a smile (he never sees her in the daylight) and finally, the weird boy who looks strikingly familiar to Hanako named Tsukasa, he’s plotting something, he keeps following him everywhere and soon enough the loud speakers throughout the summer camp every day or so keep reciting the same sentences.
I once again have another terukaneaoi au (I love these losers so much) it's a camp au with a bit of a twist. (not really tbh)
It's the summer of 89 and all the parents are excited to send all their children to summer camp, which Aoi and Teru happened to get sent to (Kou comes along as well but is quickly separated by Teru because of his age, the camp is massive and is divided up by grade school, middle school, and high school) Aoi and Teru both have a goal set in mind, both don't quite know each other despite going to the same highschool but both are determined to kill one of the high schoolers in there camp and choose the same target, Akane.
Teru has a messed up mind, he's sadistic and violent and he hides behind a carefully built facade of a kind and thoughtful person so he can keep others from suspecting him, he's an exorcist, he's exorcised humanoid supernaturals, and he's always wondered since a young age what it would be like to kill one of his kind, the kind he has to protect. Aoi is the same way, she parallels Teru even if they are different in ways, she's watched horror movies, never seemingly reactive to them, she used to kill small animals and scrap them in an empty book when she was a young child. Her mother seemingly worried sent her to therapy and pressured her to be normal, she needs to kill something bigger, her curiosity is simply too much to handle and she wonders if they will react the same way when killed like in the movies.
They figured camp would be the perfect place to kill someone at, and so they chose carefully, meticulously, as after day one they decided Akane was the perfect target. He seemed quite quiet and reserved and they quickly tried to become closer to him, and tried to get him to trust them, (Teru and Aoi bumped heads many times, sharing glares as they begged for Akane's attention) They quickly realized he might have not been the best target, he was suspicious and wary of them, on the border of disliking them (although he was more fond of Aoi) he was very helpful and usually a lot of people were talking to him or asking for help, he was constantly surrounded by people, going back and forth to people. He was athletic and a lot stronger than they expected (They were both sure he'd be quite tricky to kill, but both thought a challenge could be fun)
So, they both kept trying, they eventually became a known trio within the camp, Teru and Aoi started trying to attempt to murder him many times without him knowing but withdrawing because the two were becoming quite attached to him.
Honestly though like its fucking offensive how people still try to claim that “hard work” is what determines your economic fate.
Like its not like its a secret that the most back-breaking labor is categorically not the most high-paying, really its almost the precise opposite.
People bent over for 12 hours a day, in the sun, picking vegetables are literally the lowest paid people in the country.
No one can claim ignorance of that.
So shut your God damn mouth and find another justification already,
stop being insulting to the people who bust ass and break a sweat
so millionaires can spend their work days in a chair, in an air conditioned room, two basic luxuries that plenty take for granted.
because i can read and understand journal articles, i somehow think i’m qualified to take on board the evidence and ideas presented as factual, despite only being verisimilar or inconsequential
oh wow! in a shocking turn of events, she spent a few hours researching the human immune system and decided to fast for a few days.
because i can read and understand journal articles, i somehow think i’m qualified to take on board the evidence and ideas presented as factual, despite only being verisimilar or inconsequential
just had a banger nap and woke up with the solution to a problem i was having. what
she mark on my plier till i hello everybody my-

CRINGETOBER DAY 3: OVERSIZED PROP
"only a spoonful" (anime protag edition)
i got... kinda carried away on this one lol. i don't know why it turned out so JJBA but that honestly makes it funnier


Baby's first bible fanart apparently