I Cannot Recommend It Enough - Tumblr Posts

this was such a nice fic oh my god :((( the way you write emotions, trauma, regret. it feels as though im just watching two real people interact and go through their lives. like holy shit this was good.

also the poetic aspect of this fic is so good and charming! but also sad :( jimin lacks confidence and reassurance in who he really is. that there is a him. and that hit me right in the feels😪 and when i read the mom part, which was brief but it gave jimins actions and words so much context. he tries so hard not to get hurt again by someone he loved and cared for, but by doing that he is also hurting people. never letting himself get the chance to heal from the trauma :(

i rlly hope jimin goes to therapy😭 because oh my god he needs it nd deserves to have support in his healing journey.

alsoalso the way mc is described throughout the fic is so fucking poetic; a ray of sunlight. thats so beautiful 🥺

is there a chance that mc might give jimin a second chance? if he promises to work on himself and be more open to accepting love? maybe not necessarily as lovers but friends? id love to know!

thank you author for sharing your story with us💗 stay safe and have a good day૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

Sun rays through the rain.

⇢ jimin x reader

⇢ angst.

⇢ word count: 3.1k

⇢ warnings: jimin says some mean stuff, jimin's mom is hinted at being verbally abusive but its not talked about much, this is all in jimin's pov, it's a bit poetic and i hope that isn't annoying :(, but besides that there's not much warnings.

⇢ summary: sunlight is something we all tend to love especially when we’re cold and want something natural to warm us. Sunlight can warm our skin but it can also warm our hearts and that is what you did for Jimin. You were his sunlight but too bad Jimin is a storm. Though he is a storm jimin never thought he was the very thing you said, he never thought he was mean. 

This is a quick little angst fic I wrote because I was feeling sad but wanted to write something with a bit of beauty in the words. I wanted to write something where we see the pov of one of the boys going through a bit of pain and inner turmoil. I was thinking if this should be a two shot but hmm idk! But as always thank you for reading! ^~^ reblogs and feedback are always greatly appreciated! <3

One thing Jimin hates about you is that when you enter a room you grab everyone's attention, even his. If it's not your looks it's your aura and if it's not because of your aura it's because of your smell. Wine soaked cherries a perfume you made at a perfume making class. It's something he didn't even know existed but you told him about the whole experience one night.

He likes the scent and so do others. It's a scent so sweet with an edge that makes people want to explore more. It's unique for you to be in this setting, you don't come out with them too much but then again you probably come out like a normal person does. Jimin is the one who goes out any chance he can get.  

He hasn't seen you or talked to you in about two months yet he thinks about you everyday. Even in class you asked the professor if you could change seats. Which he granted you without asking you why because you were such a good student he assumed jimin was the problem which he wasn't wrong.

Now a girl named Sana sits by him and though she is cute, she isn't you. She doesn't make the class tolerable like you did and though she does give him the answers she doesn't do it like you did, with a bit of teasing that resulted in him having a laugh.

The reason for this all though is his fault and he knows that he knows he's an idiot he knows that he doesn't often think before doing and that his image is seen as many things. Some are true, some aren't. See everyone knows jimin sleeps around often and he admits he does. Everyone also knows that Jimin doesn't do commitment if he sees you more than once you're not supposed to feel special because you aren't.

Jimin is honest with the people he sleeps with, telling them flat out that they aren't anything to him but a person he sleeps with. He likes to say it's because he's a good guy and is honest but there's a difference between being honest and being rude. What Jimin flat out told you was rude and not honest at all. 

If people think jimin is honest they would be correct but only slightly. There's many things people think about him but ever since he met you you didn't think anything about him. Saying things like “yeah i've heard about you but that doesn't mean i know you so why would i assume things about you?”

You and Jimin began talking because you both had biology together, a class that was mandatory for you both. Jimin hates it but when he got seated next to you he thought the class was a bit more bearable simply because you smelled nice. At first jimin wasn't interested in you, you were too shy and to jimin you were boring.

You didn't seem like you did anything fun or well what he considered fun. You told him you mostly just hang out with your friends and do friend dates, you told him that you treasure your friendships and love being around them. You told him about how you like to spend time alone and do things like cuddling up in bed and doing little hobbies. Jimin thought it was lame but didn't say it just nodded along. 

It's cute in a way how you do those things but he didn't find them interesting.When he thought that he knew a part of him was lying about what you do for fun because in general it seems fun in its own way and seems peaceful. Also it’s not that you were boring he guess it's just to jimin you just weren't the type of person he would hang around too often because he liked the funner things.

Like going out often to places that weren't cafes and parks, he liked being around his friends though so you guys had that in common. He couldn't help but ask if you ever hook up with people or get in relationships but you timidly shook your head at that. “It's a bit embarrassing, I guess to like someone and confess. So if i ever like someone i don't confess it's just a bit too scary and pointless because i often am scared i'm unlikable you know?” you admitted shyly.

Jimin reassured you that that's a normal worry and that you'll do it someday he even reassured you in a teasing manner that you aren't entirely unlikable which made you giggle. Though you guys have that in common you have one thing that you listed that he can't get behind. He didn't like being alone it's something he hates. He told you that once and you asked him why that is but he didn't answer you.

Too personal and too serious because what if he did tell you? What if he told you he hated being alone because he isn't the company who he wants to be with? That being alone makes him think too much to where it feels like even in his quiet apartment there are so many things taunting him and being said. 

so he just said because he likes people. Which isn't a lie but it isn't the truth either. To jimin's surprise you guys had mutual friends so you can guess how surprised he was to see you at a party talking to hoseok who was laughing at something you said. He walked over and said that he didn't know you knew hoseok to which you teased that there's a lot of things he doesn't know about you.

That day is what started a friendship between the two of you. Jimin happened to see you more often around campus, with his friends, or even out in public. He tells himself it's just a coincidence and it's not that he happens to seek you out sometimes if he thinks you'll be around. 

He came to figure out that you have such a nice personality, it's bright and reminds him of sunlight. Not the sun itself because that would hurt people if they got too close and you wouldn't do that. You are sunlight because you warm those close to you and even those who aren't. You bring comfort to those around you and everyone would agree with him if he said that outloud.

Jimin liked spending time with you, he thinks you are the only person he can be himself around completely. Though in the end even sunlight must dim when a storm appears. 

Jimin knows he is the storm and wishes he was nothing but a bit of rain but he is the kind of storm that shakes the house with thunder or at least that is how he feels. People assume things and things spread quickly so when it started being spread that jimin must like you because of how he stays around you and treated you, that angered him. You breaking what he had built up around himself, to others, and around his heart angered him. That night he wrote in his journal about it and to his surprise the very thing he wrote about happened. 

When you told jimin you liked him he was proud of you for telling him because you wouldn't of  done that before and have told him you don't confess when you like someone so he feels happy that you did with him but he also wishes you wouldn't have because maybe than he wouldn't have to come face to face with the very things he's scared of. Commitment, love, and hurting you.

When you told jimin you liked him the first thing he did was laugh and even now the look on your face at the sound makes his heart break. The very memories of that day hurt him so he knows how you must feel. If this hurts then you must feel shattered. First, Jimin simply told you he didn't like you back but Jimin just couldn't close his mouth. Jimin couldn't understand when it's time to be the face he upholds vs when it's time to be himself to be jimin, your jimin.

Jimin could have left it at that, that he didn't like you back but he was scared and angry that this was even happening. It's as if the universe read what he wrote in his journal last night and decided to throw it in his face. 

“You think anyone would like you like that? Romantically? I mean come one y/n especially someone like me? You are so fucking boring its almost insufferable.” Jimin knew you hated being called boring and that you hated being seen as someone who people don't enjoy being around but he can't seem to shut up only thinking of things that can cause venom because he doesn't know if his heart is beating out of love for you or hatred.

He doesn't register the venom he is spitting as he is only thinking through his anger but he believes it's not to you, it's to himself. 

“The people I usually go for aren't people like you. You may be nice but is that enough for someone to like you? Love and like isn't just about chance, you have to be likable to be liked whether that be in looks or personality and to put it kindly you just aren't likable.” he said at you incredulously as if he can't believe you even thought of confessing to someone like him.

“Think before you just do what you want to next time, okay?” He says with a laugh that feels so degrading even to himself. Once he finished what he said it didn't even register that the words he spewed were all words you shared with him. Were all worries you shared about yourself, insecurities you trusted him with. Yet even after all of what he said the only thing you did was nod and go to walk away with a look he's never seen you sport.

A look as if the sun didn't have the moon to help it shine, a look as if the sun didn't want to be itself anymore. That look haunts jimin but what haunts him more is the words you said to him 

“I may not be likable Jimin and I may be insufferable but at least I'm myself, at least I'm not mean.” 

Mean, you called jimin mean. Such a small word that many people don't think of using to others because some see it as childish but he thinks that's the worst thing you could have called him. Sure you could have called him rude, a dick, an asshole but mean? Jimin didn't think he was mean and he never wanted to be mean to people, especially not you. Especially not his sunshine. 

After that day Jimin didn't see you around and he didn't see you in class for at least a week. The thing though is Jimin didn't text you or call you, he didn't try to apologize. He thought that if he called you it would be more damaging. He didn't want to cause anymore pain and because he was scared. Jimin isn't what people crack him up to be, he's more fragile than people think and you knew that.

You knew Jimin was fragile and you treated him with a gentleness that he's never felt. You were attentive to things he didn't even know about himself. You cared about him and Jimin hasn't felt that in a long time and that's what scared him, what scares him. 

Jimin likes you and he know that. He likes you so much he almost wants to say it's love with how much it hurts, with how much it scares him. He's not the only one who knows he likes you, his friends know and he hasn't even said anything to them it just shows. it shows in the way he held your hand when you tried to wear large heeled heels down that stairs for the first time.

Which he notices you wearing tonight as you talk to some guy who is definitely flirting with you but you don't even seem to notice and if you do that seems to make his chest ache.

It showed in the way he let you come to his house with coloring books and matching pajamas in the middle of the night because he was bored and it was totally not because he wanted to spend time with you and it comforted him knowing you were safe and near him after you told him about your new neighbor who seems to be an angry guy.

Sue him for being a protective person, but it mostly showed in the way Jimin smiled around you, in the way he laughed and shined as himself as jimin. When his friends told him this and these things he denied it claiming you guys were simply just friends that he didn't like you like that and couldn't see himself doing so but even saying such a lie made him feel as if he was deceiving you. 

Jimin finds himself in his apartment alone tonight, the very thing he used to talk to you about, about how much he hated it and you would come over. If you couldn't come over you would call him and talk, jimin appreciated that he appreciated you. He liked seeing you tonight even if you didnt talk to each other, even if he wasn't in your world there because you were still in his.

So as he sees the journal he passes by everyday and hasn't picked up in two months thinking it was a book of magic. He would consider it a curse, a bully for doing the very thing he feared. Tonight though he doesn't ignore it he opens it to see the last thing he wrote. The last thing he thought before he was evil before he was mean. 

“She's the sun and though I seek warmth I'm scared to get burnt. I don't want to get burnt as I am someone with skin that doesn't heal well on its own and that is what I am, on my own. I am alone in this field yet when the sun comes out I no longer feel that. The sunshine that helps me find my way as if it were the moon, the sunlight that acts as my compass, the sunlight that gives him energy to be."

"She is a tiny nail that can break glass yet she is also the glue to the glass that's broken. I'm scared of the sun and I am scared of her. I don't like such things as love and I don't like such things as relationships or so I say. I know that it is what I crave. I know it is what I want but I have to be brave to have such things and I am not brave.” 

Jimin feels himself tear up at that. He isn't brave, he isn't someone who can be themselves freely, talk to others freely and as himself. Jimin’s honest but only in things that have no meaning. Like sex with strangers, like with his favorite color to those he hooks up with, or like to his mom when she asked him if he thought he was a mistake.

Jimin had told her no because he wanted to appear indifferent to her words but Jimin thinks that holds no meaning because even if he told his mom he did believe he was a mistake she would have still been unsatisfied with his answer. 

“I have to be brave to love someone as bright as the sun yet I am tarnished in oil that would damage it and darken it. I want the sun's love. I want the sun's light but am I worthy of such warmth? Am i worthy of calling such a beautiful thing mine? In the end the only questions I have for myself daily is why am I so broken? why cant i love but most importantly why aren't i worthy?” 

Jimin thinks he's worthy of some things. Such as seeing a pretty flower when he walks the street or having a dog wag its tail at him to show his excitement but jimin is also not worthy of many things. Like being praised for his strength when he is weak, like being told he is kind hearted when he questions that every day now and he is definitely not worthy of you and your love. 

“If i had one wish it would be to always be the person i am when i am with her because  that person is someone i am proud of, someone i can say isn't a mistake. If I had two wishes I'd wish to be the very person she would confess too but if I had a third wish I’d wish for her to never feel the same and for a confession to never happen. As I am now out of wishes I can not wish for the very thing that could solve this all."

"It's not to know how to love as I can learn, it's not to learn how to be myself as I can try. It is simple yet not simple at all. The very last thing I wish to wish for is to be lovable but as I have no more wishes I can't say those words and only fear and anger lay in its place.”

Jimin loves you he's sure of it but Jimin thinks he is many things but the main thing he can't seem to shake even as the words that were ingrained in him were long ago and by someone long gone, Jimin is not lovable and thinks he might never be. Now Jimin knows he also is another thing, Jimin is mean and he thinks that's the one thing he wished you never said. Though he can't be angry at your words because like everything else it's his fault. 

Though it seems your light still has some effect because as he reads this he feels something like a want in him and that want is to grow. He wants to grow into a flower that can shine under the sun. a flower the sun can be proud of. Seeing you tonight is bittersweet, you were there yet he has no right to talk to you. One day though, Jimin will be better and have the prettiest petals you've seen. Jimin will grow and he hopes you'll still be there shining when he does.

just finished whitepine episode 2 I have literally no words, like this is higher quality than most tv shows I've watched recently and I'm going crazy