Hurt/aftermath - Tumblr Posts
There was blood on the hero’s hands. The hero had felt blood before, on themself, on their knuckles, on their clothes. This time it hurt. It was cold, and it cracked every time the hero moved their fingers, and yet they couldn’t look away.
If they looked away they would have to look at—they couldn’t look.
The hero stared at their hands. They were cold, too.
Footsteps, the hush of clothing.
“Hey, hey, hey,” hands skated along the Hero’s chin, tilting it up. “Hey, can you look at me, please?”
They blinked.
“There you are,” the villain murmured, hands gentle as they smoothed the hero’s jaw. “Love, can you—“
“I need to buy eggs.” The hero’s lips were numb.
The villain paused. “Eggs?”
“I’m out,” they stared at the villains face. It was safe, and it was familiar, and they were staring back at them with worry. “They’re my roommate’s favorite.”
The villain knelt, then, eyes briefly dropping to the hero’s hands before training back on their face.
“You’re in shock.”
“My mailman keeps putting my mail in my neighbors’ mailbox. It’s never the same neighbor either, so I think it’s on purpose—“
The villain looked pained. “It wasn’t your fault.”
The hero had words, and then they didn’t. It was their fault, wasn’t it? They hadn’t—their mind slipped off it like water, and their chest eased.
“I failed my geometry test,” they whispered, and their tongue hurt.
The villains hands shifted to the hero’s forearms. Gentle, so gentle. Like the hero would break if they weren’t.
“Can you stand up for me, please?”
“It’s cold.”
The villains face rippled.
“The city is in the middle of a heatwave,” they said softly.
The hero drifted, and found the sun. It looked warm. So warm.
“I’m cold.”
“I know, love.”
They drifted back. It felt like sinking.
“They’re cold, too.”
The villain tensed. They looked over. The hero didn’t.
“It wasn’t your fault,” the villain repeated.
“They stopped breathing,” the hero whispered, and the words cut their lungs on the way out, shredding their tongue.
The villain’s face dropped.
“Let me help you,” the begged. “Please.”
“I tried so hard,” the hero’s voice broke. “And I did compressions and their ribs broke but they—“ their voice left, their mind slid.
The villain’s hands gripped their face, guiding it to look at them.
“You did everything you could.”
Their voice was firm.
There was no room for argument.
“They didn’t deserve to die,” the hero sobbed, broken wretched sobs that ached on the way out.
“Love,” the villain breathed, and then they were sobbing into the villain’s chest like a child. Their hand rubbed soothing circles on the hero’s back. “I know. I know.”
“They were just a kid—“
“I know,” the villain said softly.
The hero shattered, and they looked, and it hurt and it hurt and it—their mind slipped.
They blinked, and the villain was wrapping a blanket around them on a too soft couch.
“Where?”
The villain’s head snapped up, and the tension bled from their face.
“You passed out.”
“Oh.”
The memories came like sludge. They stung.
“It hurts,” they breathed.
“It’s okay, love. It’s okay.” The hero took the mug of tea they were handed. “Breathe.”
The hero did.
They watched the villain. There was a plant in the corner of the apartment. It made the hero smile. So mundane, so soft. So gentle, their villain.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
And this time, the hero almost believed them.
Later, when the tea was cold and they had pressed themselves against the villain’s side, the villain kissed the top of their head and murmured “Stay.”
Bundled in blankets and the villain’s arms, the hero did.
The hero was getting blood all over the villains nice jacket.
“I’m sorry about the blood—“ they murmured, and the villain hushed them.
“We’re almost there. Just—just stay still, okay?”
If the hero didn’t know better, they’d say the villain almost sounded afraid.
“It’s okay. M’fine.”
The villain breathed a harsh laugh, cradling the hero to their chest as they walked.
“Yes, you certainly look fine bleeding everywhere.”
There was that tone again. The hero frowned. The villain had never used that tone, especially not with them, and they had no idea what it was—
They barged into the villains apartment, as the hero realized the villain was concerned.
Oh.
The villain set them down on a couch, gently, but the hero still flinched. The villain apologized, soft and gentle, and ran their hand over the wound, assessing the damage.
The villains face went carefully blank.
The hero’s head spun, just a little, and they closed their eyes to fight it off. A moment later, they opened them to find the villain wrapping their side.
Their eyebrows crinkled.
“You—when did you get those?” Their voice cracked.
The villain looked up at them.
“Just a minute ago. You passed out,” they said calmly.
Their fingers continued deftly wrapping the bandage on the hero’s side.
“Wait. Why are you,” the hero grit their teeth as the villain brushed against the wound. “Why are you helping me.”
The villain laughed.
“For someone so observant, you miss a lot of things.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
The villain shook their head.
“I knew you were a bit obtuse, but darling, really. Work with me.”
They tied off the bandages, helping the hero sit up against the arm of the couch. The villain held their gaze, cool and collected and concerned, all at once.
“Your powers stem from emotions, yes?”
The hero nodded, once.
“So positive emotions make you stronger. They can heal you, right?”
The hero had tried to keep that bit of information under wraps. Not only could they heal themselves if they were happy, they could heal anyone. They didn’t want to end up some tool to be used in some military stronghold. Still, they healed civilians when no one was looking.
If they were mad, though? They could destroy anything, tear concrete in half, send metal into dust.
The hero cleared their throat. “Yes. Positive emotions can heal me. Not feeling super happy right now, so I’ll get back to you on that—“
The villain sat back on their heels.
“Do you trust me?”
The hero blinked at them. They were ready to give them some bullshit answer about how they could never trust the villain and never would; but that wasn’t true. The villain had saved them, more times than they could count.
And between the agency and the villain? Well, the hero knew who they would choose.
“Yes,” they said hesitantly, and the villain kissed them.
Warmth flooded them, and they reached for the villain, tugging them closer, and the villain smiled against their mouth.
The wound on their side began to close, and the villain felt it. They smiled, pleased with themself, like a cat.
“I give you positive emotions, huh,” they said, still grinning.
“For someone so observant, you can be so obtuse—“ the villain kissed them, again, to get them to shut up. This time, the hero smiled.
The wound closed further.
“I didn’t know you liked me,” the hero murmured.”
“I tolerate you. I just happen to hate everyone else.”
The hero laughed, side twinging with pain.
The villain checked the half closed wound, then turned back to the hero.
“Kiss it better?”
The villain rolled their eyes.
This time, when the villain kissed them, the hero didn’t let them stop.
could you write a snippet where hero and villain both show up at the same time to rescue civilian from supervillain please?
The hero’s pulse pounded in their ears, panicked and so loud–there was so much blood, oh god, they couldn’t tell where it was coming from–that they didn’t hear the villain behind them until they were slamming their elbow back into their ribcage. The villain caught it with one hand, running their gaze over the hero and their blood slicked hands as if assessing for injuries. When they did the same to the civilian, the villain went so still the hero wasn’t sure they were breathing.
The hero felt a little dizzy, actually, and they were trying incredibly hard not to cry, because that was their friend on the floor and they were never supposed to be involved in this–
“Hero,” the villain’s voice was stern, but not unkind. “Breathe.”
They choked on their next inhale, and the villain pressed against their chest with one hand until they breathed out again. There was something about the villain’s face, smooth and unyielding like stone, that pulled the hero into focus enough for them to suck in another breath.
“They need help,” they managed to gasp. The villain gave them a singular nod in confirmation.
“Yes. They do.”
“We need to–”
“You,” the villain interrupted, “need to calm down.”
“They’re dying.”
“And that’s not going to change if you’re too panicked to see straight. So take. A deep. Breath.”
Miraculously, the hero did. It was easier on the next breath, and the next, until their vision was clear and they could see the horror in front of them with all too much clarity.
The civilian was still breathing.
The villain released the hero’s elbow as soon as they realized the hero wasn’t about to panic again, grazing their fingers over the civilian’s tattered clothing in search of the worst wounds. They prodded something and the civilian winced, face bruised and entirely, blessedly, unconscious. “Pressure,” the villain gestured, and the hero. complied.
The hero knew better than to let up when the civilian, abruptly half-lucid from pain, tried to bat their hand away, but bile still rose in their throat.
“How are you so calm,” they said, and even they could tell their voice was slightly too close to hysterical. The villain glanced over at them, eyes dark, before ripping a makeshift tourniquet to tie around the civilian’s leg.
“I panicked once,” some memory, deep and dark and full of pain, flashed through the villain’s eyes. “I promised I wouldn’t do it again.”
The hero took the wad of cloth the villain handed to them, pressing it back down over the civilian’s stomach. It turned red under the hero’s fingers far faster than they would ever have wanted it to. Not that they would ever want it to, but if someone was bleeding they would at least want it to be slow–
“Oh,” they managed, voice strangled, and the villain took a moment to assess them once more.
“Breathe,” the villain reminded. “They’re not dying. They’re beat up, but they’re stable. Emergency services are already on their way.”
The hero watched more blood well up around their hands. Pressed harder.
They would be digging red flakes out from under their nails for weeks.
“You’re normally calmer,” the villain remarked casually. If the hero’s brain wasn’t so stuck on the image of their friend bleeding below them, they would have recognized this for the distraction that it was.
“They didn’t choose this,” they whispered, throat raw. The civilian didn’t have powers, and they hadn’t chosen to use them for good or evil. They just lived, so kind and so normal.
“Neither does any other bystander,” the villain said.
“They’re my friend,” the hero willed the villain to understand, somehow, the enormity of this. The pain of knowing that it should have been them on the floor, that supervillain had done this because the civilian had been there and the hero had not.
A mistake of epic proportions. The biggest failure of their life. Not being there.
“So?”
“So it's my fault,” the hero’s voice broke, and they ducked their head down to hide the tears as they welled in their eyes. Distantly, they could pick up the barest trace of sirens, almost out of reach of their enhanced senses.
“Hero,” the villain said, voice gentle. “If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”
The hero shook their head–
“No, listen to me,” the villain’s voice gained an edge to it. “It’s not your fault. I pissed supervillain off this week. They know the civilian is my friend. This was deliberate to hurt me, and I need you to get it through your thick skull that there was nothing you could have done to stop this.”
The hero wasn’t sure who the villain was truly saying this to–the hero, themself, or the version of the villain that had panicked so long ago, and suffered for it.
“I could have–”
“You couldn’t.” The villain’s stare was all encompassing. The hero wanted to believe them. “Stop blaming yourself for the pain other people are causing.”
“That’s kind of my whole thing,” the hero tried for something light, airy. The both of them watched it fall flat off their tongue.
“No, it’s not. Your thing is saving people, not beating yourself up over everything you think you could have done better.”
The hero didn’t have a response to that. Just stayed staring at the villain as the ambulance skidded to a stop, the red lights flashing off the villain’s hair and eyes.
Someone reached for the hero’s hands, still pressed tightly to the wound, and they flinched away, gritting their teeth.
The paramedic raised their gloved hands as if comforting an animal. “I’m here to help,” they said slowly.
It felt terrible unclenching their hands, letting the paramedic take their place, sliding the civilian onto a stretcher an unending minute later.
The hero swallowed hard, knees numb against the pavement, and let the villain hook their arms under the hero’s armpits to haul the upright.
“Alright, there we go,” the villain murmured easily. The hero tracked the paramedics as they closed the doors of the ambulance.
“I should–”
“No,” the villain interrupted. They seemed to be doing that more often than usual, the hero thought slowly. “You need to get cleaned up, and eat something.”
“I need to go to the hospital, I can’t just leave them alone,” the hero argued. They tried to jerk themself from the villain’s steadying hold, and failed.
“Trust me, they’ve got a whole team keeping them alive. They’re in good company.”
“I’m failing them.” It was an entirely irrational thought, but it stung in the hero’s chest, burning its way into their ribs as an ‘almost’ truth.
“You’re taking care of yourself so that you are able to take care of them. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you're at empty. So, we’re going to get you some clothes that aren’t covered in blood, a sandwich, and go from there.”
The hero realized between one blink and the next that they were exhausted–bones aching and made of stone, dragging them down further with every second. By the time they reached the villain’s car, the only thing that was holding them up was the villain; the weight of panic and a too long day spent trying to save the entire city pressing down on them.
They were dumped into the passenger seat without fanfare, and if they weren’t so tired, they would have protested about the blood, or question how the villain had gotten their car here.
The villain slammed the door, settling themself into the driver’s seat a moment later. They dug through the center console, too dark for the hero to make out what they were grabbing, before they scrubbed the hero’s hands with a baby wipe.
They had the engine started before the hero had a chance to look down at their own–now clean–hands.
“It’s not your fault,” the villain said again. Their tone left no room for argument.
“You keep saying that,” they watched as the city lights flickered through the car windows. “Why?”
The villain’s jaw clenched in the periphery of their vision. When they answered, it was so soft and quiet the hero almost didn’t catch it.
“Because nobody said it to me.”
The hero let their head slump against the window, half-asleep as they watched the roads vanish behind them.
“Hey,” they said quietly. They didn’t have to look up to know the villain’s attention was solely on them.
Sleep pulled on them until their voice was little more than an exhaled breath.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
The villain sucked in a shuddering breath.
“It isn’t your fault.”
Before sleep managed to swallow them whole, the hero swore they caught a single tear streaking down the villain’s cheek.
As another request, maybe the villain and hero are fighting , and the villain notices that the hero reacts suspiciously numb to his attacks. And when he taunts him about it, the hero sisimply says something to the effect of being used to it. And the villain is suspicious by the tone so he follow the hero and find out he’s abused by family . Cue villain saving the hero, comforting him and showering him with the love he never got
The villain should have known something was wrong the first time he hit the hero, and he simply braced, pain flickering along the muscles of his jaw, before hitting back. Face blank, a mask stronger than concrete. As if pain played no part, and it was just the give and return of kinetic energy, and nothing more.
He should have known when he said something so cruel it felt like graveyard dirt upon his tongue, and the hero merely stuttered for half a second, everything within him freezing, before he continued like nothing had happened. Nothing cruel in return, nothing biting in his face. Just–complete nothing.
“You never flinch,” the villain said, and it wasn’t a sudden realization, but it was close. Again, that momentary pause, like the hero had been grabbed and stopped by some otherworldly being on a molecular level. It allowed the villain to catch the next hit the hero threw at them.
“What?”
The hero, to his credit, didn’t sound upset, and in this line of work the villain was especially good at noticing the tiny pieces of that kind of thing. He just sounded confused, maybe.
“When I hit you. You don’t flinch,” the villain clarified. The hero just stared at them.
“You only really flinch if you aren’t used to it,” the hero said finally.
“Used to it?”
“You heard me,” the hero replied, and this time, there was irritation behind his words.
The villain tossed the hero’s fist down, and the hero stumbled back.
“And you didn’t answer my question.”
“I wasn’t aware there was one.”
“Are you intentionally being annoying, or is it just natural for you?”
The hero’s breath shuddered.
“Sorry.”
“Sorry–you–I don’t want an apology,” the villain sputtered. This conversation felt above his pay grade; and he wasn't entirely sure why, either, which irked him, itching under his skin.
“So–” the hero snapped his jaw shut around the rest of the word, and it looked like he was doing everything in his power to stop himself from finishing it.
Before the villain could prod further–about the flinching, or any other confusing aspect of it–the hero blew out a breath, and said, “I’m done here.”
The villain blinked.
“You can’t just decide when a fight is over.”
“Watch me,” the hero said, but his voice didn’t have the heat that usually went along with that phrase.
“You’re a hero, isn’t this kind of your entire job? Finishing fights, not walking away from them?”
“I said, I’m done,” the hero snarled, and it was the first hint of emotion he had shown the entire day, explosive and aimed entirely at the villain. The villain was taken aback for a moment.
The hero turned and left before the villain could even think of a response. He didn’t look over his shoulder.
Of course, the villain followed him home.
The fact that he had been able to at all was something to be worried about.
He watched as the hero entered, shutting the door behind him. Heard the sound of his bag hitting the floor, his jacket being hung up. Normal, quiet little things. Shuffling through the kitchen, making a cup of tea. A quiet conversation with his mother.
The villain was about to leave when he heard the slap.
He was through the door before he realized he was moving, leaving the handle to slam into the wall.
He caught the barest edge of a conversation as he rounded the corner–a curse word, then a vile sort of thing that was somehow worse than anything the villain had managed to say in his entire life–and slotted himself neatly between the hero and his mother.
The villain caught her wrist before it could touch any part of the hero. His grip was too tight to be anything but painful.
The hero’s mother gaped at them.
A bruise was beginning to bloom across the hero’s cheek.
The hero was shaking, slightly, face tense and drawn as he stared at the villain. Like the villain was the unnerving thing in this situation, and the hand his mother still had raised was the normality.
A rage, raw and unfathomable, ravenous within him, descending down so deep into the white hot of fury that it passed anything that had a name, uncurled itself along his bones.
“Touch him again,” the villain seethed, voice shaking with all that feral untamed mess within himself, “and you lose the hand.”
“Villain,” the hero said quietly, and the villain had never heard him so meek.
How long did it take for a person to learn that kind of quiet?
“Villain, leave it.”
The villain didn’t release the hero’s mother’s–no. The woman in front of him wasn’t a mother. She was something twisted, and broken, and cruel, upper lip curled with displeasure. Not that the villain was within her kitchen; but that he had stopped her from hitting her child.
The villain wanted nothing more than to vomit on her spotless white tiles.
Maybe in another life she would have been the kind of person the hero, with his kind heart, would have saved before it got to this point.
Maybe in another life the villain would have let the hero try.
But that was not this life.
And there was a bruise blooming on his hero’s cheek.
“You have no right–”
“Did I not make myself clear?” He said, and it was black and poisonous in the air.
The woman in front of him swallowed, and for the first time, fear flickered across her face.
Good.
“Villain,” the hero said, voice strangled, and the villain turned to look at him.
“She’s hurt you before,” the villain said, and it wasn’t a question. The hero looked at him wide-eyed, and he wondered how many times the hero had walked into a fight with him with pre-existing injuries. Injuries he would pretend later that the villain had given him.
The hero swallowed, hard.
“Yes,” he whispered, and that was all the villain needed. He turned back around.
“The only reason you are alive right now is because I think killing you would upset him,” he informed her, and he watched her face pale. “That, and getting blood out of shoes is a bitch. Isn’t it, hero? See, you wouldn’t know. Nobody’s ever made you bleed, I’d wager, because if they had, you would understand it isn’t the kind of thing you do to someone you love.”
He grinned, feral.
“You’re going to leave,” he continued. “Matter of fact, you’re going to vanish. And you’re going to do it so well that if he wants, he’ll never have to think of you again. The only way you’ll ever see him again will be because he wants it to happen, do you understand me? If you don’t, we’ll make you vanish my way.”
The hero made a choked noise behind him. “I don’t think you’ll like that very much,” the villain confided in a whisper.
He wasn’t sure the woman in front of him was breathing.
“Hero,” he said after a long minute. He was going to leave bruises on her wrist. She was shaking, and it soothed some of the yawning rage within him. “Pack a bag.”
The hero vanished into the halls of the house.
The villain didn’t say anything, just stared at the woman in front of him, as if he looked long enough he would be able to see the rotten core inside of her that had made her this way. Turned her into something violent. Or perhaps, the thing that had been inside her since birth, broken and seething. Inevitable.
He didn’t like to believe people could be born evil.
He would make an exception.
The hero appeared back behind him as silent as a wraith, far faster than the villain had expected, duffel bag in one hand.
He wondered how long the hero had had a bag tucked away, packed and ready to run if it got too bad.
He wondered what the hero considered ‘bad enough’ and his jaw clenched hard enough he could hear the bones creak.
“That all you need?”
The hero nodded, mutely, and the villain finally dropped the woman’s hand. She pulled back, hissing as she rubbed her arm, but she had the sense to not glare at the villain.
He tipped his head towards the door.
“Let’s go,” he said, as gently as he had ever heard himself.
The hero followed him out, and they didn’t say anything until the villain’s apartment door locked behind the both of them.
The villain blew out a shuddering breath.
The hero looked like he wasn’t entirely there, eyes glassy.
“Hero,” he said softly, and the hero’s gaze snapped to his face. He stopped himself from reaching for him, a helpless effort to do something, to fix it. “Can I touch you?”
He made sure it didn’t sound like a demand, because if the hero said no, the villain would die before crossing that line, no matter how much it stung. A moment later, to his relief, the hero gave a jerky nod.
He moved slowly, a gentle palm on the hero’s jaw to tip it up, inspecting the bruise with pursed lips. He brushed away the tear that slipped down the hero’s cheek with his thumb, and left it there.
“It could be worse,” the hero offered quietly.
“The fact that it exists at all is worse enough,” the villain murmured, tipping the hero’s head back down. “I’m so sorry.”
The hero blinked, brow furrowing. “For what?”
The villain shrugged one shoulder. “That it happened. That it has been happening. That I didn’t notice.”
“I’m good at hiding it,” the hero said, like it was supposed to make the villain feel better.
“You shouldn’t have had to learn how to do that at all,” the villain said, and the hero’s lip wobbled.
The hero wavered slightly, like he didn’t know what to do with himself. He carried himself like the entirety of his body was an open wound, every second spent breathing a second spent in agony.
The villain couldn’t pretend he knew what this felt like, but he could do his best to soothe it as much as possible.
“Come here,” he said softly, and the hero melted into him, shaking as he tried to cry quietly and failed. He tucked the hero against his chest, and hand coming to curl into the hero’s hair as he let out a desperate keening noise.
He rested his chin on the top of the hero’s head. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispered. “It’s not right now, but it will be, I promise. Even if it takes a while.”
The hero shuddered against him, then nodded, just once.
It wasn’t okay, but it would be.
The villain had promised.
And he never broke a promise.
Believe {Father John Price & Reader} [Angst, verbal Fight]
![Believe {Father John Price & Reader} [Angst, Verbal Fight]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d0f357eb2dd8d1d2d9df2a88845cfd5c/73f1d85d979d2b06-af/s500x750/ad01a44c29ee411e636b28d8e87e03bc24a7b064.gif)
You loved your Dad. You really did. You may not know him, but you knew he was a good man, a soldier. But you don't remember a time where he was really there for you. One day, he sits at the table with you, asking you questions and all you can think of, is why?
A/N: I absolutely didn't base this off of a c.ai Bot I talked with. Absolutely not. Now cry like I have.
TW: yelling, family argument, ilugky crying, fighting, discussions about absent father, exactly that father trying his best, people saying things they don't mean or want to say, !!NO ABUSE!!
![Believe {Father John Price & Reader} [Angst, Verbal Fight]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4da66db13b307eaaa8b21a4dfe71586e/73f1d85d979d2b06-a7/s500x750/26b4f9b6f5270a84f923edf523e769bbe3bc0f31.gif)
You had come home from college, when you already saw the strange truck in the driveway. It took a few minutes before you remembered it was his truck. You father was back. You weren't bothered, but it also didn't spark any real type of joy in you. Your keys jingling, you opened the front door, kicked off your shoes, threw your backpack next to them and looked for you mother to say hello.
You mother was in the living room, lounging on the couch, a thick arm around her shoulder, as you could see your father's head buried in her hair, slowly scratching his scalp. "Hey Mom." She didn't perk up like usually, her eyes only scanning you drowsily. It was kind off cute. She smiled, greeting you back softly, her voice a bit cracked. She had cried, but you didn't bother. Of course she did. "Hey John." You smiled at your father as well, even if it was a tad more blank than the one given to your mother. He noticed, if course he did.
Dinner was already done, so stalking into teh kitchen to serve yourself some food, there were a bunch of small candies strewn on the table. You recognized them. The tiny pinkish Bonbons wrapped in yellow, blue and green paper, a fancy font slapped onto it displaying it's name. You had eaten these a bunch when you were little. But you hadn't for about 10 years at that point. You sighed. It was a cute gesture, so you stuffed them in your pocket. One of your friends would eat them, it would be okay.
Finishing your dinner and putting away the plates, John accompanied you in the kitchen. "Hey, Mouse. How was school?" "Good." An awkward silence settled into the room. "Anything special happened?" "No." Another period of silence as he sat down at the table, in front of where you had been sitting. "I see you took the candy?" "I'll give it to a friend. I don't like them." He looked a bit confused. "I thought you liked them? You always lived them as a child." You sighed, taking your seat. "Exactly. I was a child. I don't like them anymore, too sugary sweet." You didn't know what he thought, not being able to read him like your mother.
"What uh... What have you been up to while I'm gone?" "Studying. I have a Job to earn some pocket money. Got new friends." "Are you dating anyone?" You shook your head. "Not interested right now. Maybe some day." He smiled. "That's good. Wanting to focus on your studies first." "I want to be there for Mom, that's all. If I get a partner, paired with the Job and my studies, I won't be able to be there for her. Don't want her to basically loose her only other family member." Your words struck John, his gaze flickering to your Mom still lounging on the couch.
"I-" he paused and sighed, scratching his neck. "I know I wasn't always there. But I have a few months off now, so we could... We could do something together. If you want." You shrugged. "Sure. Anything specific?" "I hoped you might have some suggestions." You chuckled. Of course. "Well. What do you like to do?" He pondered. He actually didn't really know. He usually stayed home, doing something fun like going to theme parks or taking the kids to teh ice cream parlour down the street. "I don't mind as long as we do something together. I really missed you two and we could do something together, I thought. As a family."
"That's sweet, John." You simply added. "Let Mom plan something, she's better at it than I am." Another round of silence brewed over them. "You stopped calling me Dad." Price stated, matter of factly and you flinched. You tried to avoid the subject. "Yeah." You paused. How would you let him know without sounding harsh? "I don't think it's right someone you don't know your father. It shouldn't be that way." Your words stung. They stung to actually admit, but they stung more to be heard by your father. You loved him, you did. But you just weren't sure if he really was your father. Biologically, yes. But he had never been there for you, or your Mom.
"I'm... Sorry. I'll try to make it up." "It's okay, you don't need to. You already lost my entire childhood, I don't think a few years more will matter." You mumbled, glancing at the table. You really didn't want to look at him right now. You were being honest, you remembered him always preaching to be honest to him and his Mom, so that they could always be honest with you. So you did just that. What would it do to hide your hurt? You could feel the way he had to digest your words. "I know I wasn't there in your life. But I would like to be. Please, Mouse. Let us.. talk. Tell me what you like, what you want, I'll get it."
You huffed. "I don't want anything money can buy. I want a father. A real one." Your words sounded harsher than they should have, tone sharp and accusatory. "Sorry, that's not... I just meant I don't need anything from you. Thank you though." He stared at you, you could feel your body heating up at his stare. Or was that your feeling of guilt making you feel this way? "I understand." was the last words spoken in the small room for a while. "I know I was absent. I promise you, I missed you all the time. I just wanted to hold you, see you grow up... I hated coming here with you having already achieved so many milestones. Milestones I couldn't witness, a baby that was mine, that I didn't raise sits in front of me as an adult. I know it's not supposed to be this way, and I really want to make it up. To get to know you. Please."
Your breath was shaky, as you looked out the window to the garden, tears starting to burn in your eyes. "I needed a father. Not a soldier that was never here." You muttered, you voice waivering slightly. "I know." He leaned forwards, putting his hands on yours. You pulled it backwards instinctively, regretting the action on the spot, as you saw his hand retract back, hesitantly, he spoke again: "I know it hurts." "Do you? Do you really?!" You felt your patience snap, something in you just telling you to scream at him, another part begging you not to, he was a poor man working his job and trying his best for you, he couldn't do anything against the fact that his best just wasn't enough. Startled, his eyes finally found yours, fury in your eyes as you stood up.
"Because I know how much it hurt watching you leave! Every single time, seeing your back as you got into the truck and disappeared for months! Do you know how it broke Mom?! I took care of her, when she was depressed, not being able to get out of bed because the thought struck her that you could be dead!" Your mother shuffled into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed because of the commotion. Your voice was louder, even if you weren't shouting, it was simply slightly raised by your anger. "When she didn't know how to fix something in the house. I tried my best to look it up and do it myself! I did the heavy lifting, I was that one kid in school who only ever had her mother! They called her a whore, you know that?! I protected Mom, I protected myself! Because you weren't there, like you should have been!"
He seemed surprised, before his body slumped into itself. Exhaustion clear on his features. You felt pity, but you also felt you weren't done. You wanted to be down so bad. Why did everyone else get what they wanted but not you? "I'm sorry, I wish I could go back, do it all again, make different choices, but I can't. And I hope we can go forward together, Mouse. I don't want to loose you becaus eif my mistakes, little one. I know my Job isn't an excuse to not be there for you and your Mom, I..." He paused, taking a shaky breath. "I tried to protect you by keeping threats out of this country, people away from weapons they shouldn't have, and yet I failed to realise it was too far away for you. And I... I hope you can forgive me like your mother can, e-" "No, I can't!" You screamed, interrupting your father in his speech.
"I can't and I won't! How can I forgive a man I don't know?!" You started to cry, the sadness and disappointment mixing with you anger and simply becoming too much, as tears fell down your face and sobs and whines accompanied you. "The only one in this house that knows you is she!" Pointing towards your mother, Price didn't even need to follow you finger, the only other person in this house being her. "I know. I know. I want to get to know you, so please, calm down, sit, let us talk about ourselves. Please. I just want to be a father for you." "WELL YOU WON'T BE!" your mother gasped, John startled and you stopped in your track, knowing you went too far. You didn't even mean to say it, it just slipped out.
Grabbing a tissue, you pushed her stunned mother aside, making your way up the stairs to your room, as your crying became more violent. You heard your father scramble up in his seat as you were halfway up the stairs, his heavy feet booming on the floorboard, as he reached you when you were at the top of the stairs. "Please, Honey. I know it's a lot, but I really want to know you, I want you to know me, let us start a new beginning, please! I'll be there for you!" You turned towards him. "Until you have to leave again. I know your Job still comes first, John." "I won't let you down, I promise! I'll.. I'll find a way!" You huffed, your eyes gazing upwards to the ceiling, trying to hold back even more tears, even though they dropped anyways. "I know you won't."
"They will call and you will leave, and then we won't hear anything form you until you suddenly show back up. And then we'll have to talk to each other again! That's not how it's supposed to be! That's now how it should be! You should be here for me, and I know this is selfish and rude and mean, but I just wanted a normal family!" John shook, you could see tears forming in his eyes, as he realized the pain he actually caused you. "I'm sorry I failed you." "It's okay." Your voice sounded oddly at peace then. "I stopped believing in you a long time ago." You entered your room, locking it, as you pushed your back to the door, falling to the ground. For a few seconds you could controll yourself, before your son's, cries, whails and whimpers were unconfined escaping your mouth. You just wanted to scream, punch, run. You loved him. He was your father, so why did it hurt this much?
John, on the other hand. Stood frozen, tears catching in his muttonchops, as he stared at your closed door, posters decorating it he had never seen before, drawings and pictures of friends he didn't know. He had gone wrong so many times, why, oh why didn't he realize it sooner?