Humans Have No Regrets - Tumblr Posts

The Great Dark One had terrorized Isheazar for time immemorial. When Sanson had first climb from the egg the elders had spoke of how the Great Dark One was the world ending beast. It was predator without equal, eldritch in all things, and took great joy in tormenting those it deigned to hunt. Be they Dwarf, Dragon, or God. Unstoppable and evil it had no name for any name would to be too confining, cause too much complacency in the hearts of those it hunted. Some of the oldest spoke of a great battle, of all the thinking species of the world aligned against The Great Dark One. Emess, the Eternal One, oldest dragon in all the lands, still spoke with haunted craze about how The Great Dark One had fun felling their legions. There were whispers, rumours, that pieces of The Great Dark One had come of it. Had slipped between dimensions. 

Sanson would not have cared beyond a passing fancy if not for what he’d seen when he looked across dimensions. He’d expected to find entire realities striped bare. Species without end gone at the claws and hunger of even mere pieces of The Great Dark One. The first five realities he found exactly what he expected. However, his Dimensional Magics thesis required ten sources of evidence so despite his weary heart he continued. The seventh dimension, one with magic so weak as to be non-existent, he found something trouble. And confusing. And frankly so horrifying the thought had led him to drink Deep Ale. He didn’t remember what happened after. 

After remembered him. Sanson woke to on of these strange beings, a human, poking impatiently at his cheek. Sanson froze with terror so deep his very stomach chilled to ice. “Hey,” the human said. “Last night was fun and all, but I got work on Monday and I need some Advil.”

Sanson blinks. 

The human points at a dimensional spell circle. A dimensional spell circle that is etched in Sanson’s floor with Sanson’s writing. “So, are you like, gonna send me back now?”

Sanson’s mouth drops open in shock. “I summoned you!” Sanson squeaks out in tight throated surprise.

“Yeah duh,” the human says. “I was there. Here.” The human sighs. “Look, of all the reasons to be summoned to another dimension a week long bender was pretty awesome. No regrets, right. But Mr. Wayne’s probably getting hungry and every single thing here is made for people at least a foot smaller than me. I slept on the floor. I haven’t done that since undergrad. So I should probably be getting back pretty soon.”

Sanson mind is reeling but for some unremembered reason ‘Mr. Wayne’ stands out of the human’s weird speech. “Mr. Wayne?”

The human laughs. “My cat,” she explains. “It makes sense if you’ve ever read Batman comics.”

Sanson only knows what one of those things mean. My cat. He swallows heavily. Sanson doesn’t remember this specific human but he does remember a dance of horrors. Seeing household after household welcoming and catering to small pieces of The Great Dark One. His first thought was that they were slaves but a closer look showed him they were willing servants. A whole race domesticated by these ‘cats’. His terror and disgust must be palpable to the human. Had he told her? Had he spoke at all of The Great Dark One?

Sanson licks his lips nervously. “There is,” he says slowly, mind racing, “one last thing I’d like to show you. Before you go.” He’s pretty sure this is crazy. Or he’s gone insane. But there were a large number of humans living and surviving in proximity to pieces of The Great Dark One. Where Isheazar itself is collapsing, consumed bite by bite. He has to try.

“Sure,” the human shrugs. “If you throw in that magic sword with the bag of holding full of gold you promised me.”

Sanson nods his head eagerly. Why this human wants such a soft useless metal and magic that will barely work in her home reality he doesn’t care. It’s a matter of minutes for the human to pack a bag full and a couple more for Sanson to etch a minor spell of transference. The pop into existence far too close to The Great Dark One for Sanson’s comfort. It’s magical interference made targeting accurately impossible within a horse’s tire of it.

 The human gasps and her eyes widen. Sanson’s unfamiliar with humans but in his own species he’d say that look a lot like ‘I just saw a cute baby’ face. The human coos. “Hello, kitten-”

Sanson looks on with growing distress as the human obliviously approaches The Great Dark One making little clicking noises in the back of her throat. “Ummmm… human sir? That is an eldritch being.” His warning is ignored. The human holds up a hand, rubbing fingers together in a beckoning motion. “Not pet. Do not touch.” 

“Look, it’s fine. If it looks like a cat, it is a cat.” The human dismisses his warning. Sanson regrets his decision so much. He didn’t want to watch someone he brought here get killed. He should have realized that the domestication of humans had left them brutally unprepared to face-

Eldritch purring causes the foundation of reality to shiver in fear. The human is petting a slow stroke down The Great Dark One’s spine and scritching behind it’s ear. The Great Dark One leans into the touch with eyes half-closed in pleasure.

“Whose a pretty kitty?” The human coos. “You are. Yes you are.”

The Great Dark One tilts it’s head back and allows the human access to it’s vulnerable throat the way only the truly immortal would dare. The human rubs softly under The Great Dark One’s chin. Sanson determines that he will see this human on her way before he returns to finding the bottom of Deep Ale. He may never come out again, after all.

“Hello, kitten-“ “Ummmm… human sir? That is an eldritch being. Not pet. Do not touch.” “Look, it’s fine. If it looks like a cat, it is a cat.” eldritch purring sounds