Hate To Love - Tumblr Posts

「𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ⇀ 𝑲.𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒐」

── ❝𝗜 𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗞𝗡𝗘𝗪         𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗗         𝗠𝗢𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗜𝗡         𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗦 ❞

    〡𝑲𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒔𝒖 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒐 𝑿 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓〡

◉ ┅ ┅ ┅ ┅ ┅ ┅ ┅ ┅ ┅

𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘶𝘦

❀

Chapter Index:

❀ | ①    ❀ | ②   ❀ | ③  ❀ | ④  ❀ | ⑤ ❀ | ⑥ ❀ | ⑦

❀ | ③

╔═════ °• ♔ •° ═════╗

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠.

╚═════ °• ♔ •° ═════╝

"What do you think, dear?" Your mother turned to you with a smile. "A horse ride with your future husband sounds quite relaxing, don't you think?"

"It would be quite relaxing, if my future husband actually knew how to ride horses instead of betting on them," you replied flatly, staring right into the man's dark eyes. He met your deadpan look with a smug grin, corners of his mouth curling upwards.

"Touché, my love!" You grit your teeth at the pet name. "Although, I am quite certain you will enjoy the riveting show of horse racing just as much, with my presence by your side!"

"I'm sure she will come to enjoy a few games!" your father agreed. "I myself cannot deny the joy of horse betting."

"Wonderful story, father," you rolled your eyes. Standing up from your seat, you bunched up your skirts as you began making a hasty exit. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have more important matters to worry about," you turned back with a spiteful glare, "such as making sure my kingdom doesn't fall to ruins."

You never liked waiting for responses, and so you left with those final words hanging in the air. Your platter of food had barely been touched, but who could blame you? Your appetite was no longer with you after having to sit at a table with three people who you currently felt nothing but anger towards.

You didn't actually know what you were going to do after leaving the dining hall. If you were being honest, you didn't particularly feel like studying or reading -- you were sure that if you picked up a book, or any object for that matter, it would just end up being hurled at the wall.

Your stomach churned uncomfortably as you stalked down the large, empty hallways. Your footsteps echoed around you, too loud for your tastes. They rang in your ears like high-pitched white noise, never ending, ringing and ringing. It made your chest feel tight. Which you found odd; you were sure you hadn't worn a corset on this particular day.

Everything seemed to be doing a great job at ticking you off, so you took a sharp left instead of a right towards your quarters, heading for the garden. You paused in the glass doorway, eyes scanning over the tall bushes and bunches of flowers decorating the space. The large fountain could just about be seen in the distance, the moon above casting a glinting glow on its running water.

Taking careful steps down, you sighed heavily as your foot made contact with the gravelled pathway, the crunching stones muffling the sound of your heels greatly. You spotted a few guards patrolling the perimeter, each of them giving you a stiff bow before marching onward, their guns propped against their shoulders. You held your tongue this time as they passed.

It was dark, but not dark enough so that you couldn't see where you were going. A breeze swept by, but it's calming nature was lost on you. You slowed your quick pace down to a gentle walk, eyeing the delicately trimmed hedges that stood tall around you.

In most kingdoms, the hedges would be covered in roses, always deep crimson, and always blooming. You had always wondered if they were even real. You had touched their petals, but they didn't feel like silk; thy felt rough and fabricated. Empty, with no sense of care oozing from their centres. They were just as fake as the smiles others had sent your way, ever since you were young.

You raised a hand, stretching a single finger outward towards the flower. It's bleeding colours were darkened under the night sky. For a moment, you forgot that roses were red. This one looked black. Pure black, a darkened abyss, swirling and writhing, contorting into sneering faces. It swayed in the breeze, laughing and mocking you.

You returned your hand. Turning away, you headed towards the fountain, taking a seat on its marble ring. Your tiara was in your hands again. You could barely make out it's engraved designs. The cut gems had lost their flare. They were dull, now. They were nothing more than stones to you. Nothing special. Nothing unique. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Amidst the trickling of water from behind you, a pair of footsteps sounded from nearby. You straightened your posture, replacing the tiara above your locks, glancing over to your right. A horrible glare graced your features when you saw who it was.

"Please, wait! Don't leave yet!" Karamatsu spoke first, hastening his walk into a jog to reach you. He looked like a lost puppy, eyes wide and brows upturned as he begged you through his dark orbs to stay.

'Pathetic.'

"Well? What do you want?" you snapped, crossing your arms over your chest as you turned your nose up in spite. The man took a deep breath, whether in relief or to calm his anger, you didn't care.

"Princess, I... Would it be alright if I sat with you here?" He timidly asked, a small smile on his lips. It wasn't the same one as before. You raised a brow.

"That's what you came all the way out here for?" You sighed heavily, standing from your seat. "I don't have to time to waste on the likes of you." You began walking away, annoyance rolling off of you in waves.

"No-- Wait!" He grabbed a hold of your wrist, harshly halting your movements. "I just meant that--"

"Don't you get it?" you whipped around, boring your hardened gaze into his own eyes. He flinched at the look. "You are nothing but a burden to me. I want nothing to do with you, and there is nothing you can do to change my mind!" your voice raised with each word, and you caught yourself before it could get any worse.

Taking a deep breath, you yanked your wrist out of his hand.

"I'm giving you one more warning. Leave by morning, if you know what's good for you." You turned away once more.

"...Do you really hate me that much?"

His voice was soft and gentle. No trace of anger was there in his words. Not even sadness. It was an emotion you couldn't quite identify. You turned to look at him. The moon shone down over him, casting a ghostly glow over his face.

He was smiling. Now you knew what it was. It was understanding.

"...I see," he bowed low to you, the same way he did when he first met you. "I bid you a goodnight, Princess. Sleep well."

You had no words. Nothing left your lips, although they were parted. You stared at him for a moment, then you turned and finally walked away. Reaching the steps back up the castle, you paused, the itching urge to look back one more time biting at you, but you fought against it.

You didn't care. You didn't care. You didn't.

The castle was quiet now. Your footsteps didn't bother you this time. The emptiness didn't disturb you this time. Your stomach was no longer churning. All was still. Was it always this quiet?

Reaching your room, you didn't bother to change out of your dress just yet. Instead, you moved towards you tall window in the dark, moving away the thick curtains. You sank to the ground, your skirts flattening out around you like a withering flower. You stared upwards, towards the moon.

A plain white disc in the sky. Greying in some areas. A soft, dark shadow surrounding its edges. The stars couldn't sparkle as bright as the moon. No matter what. The stars that hung in the night sky could never, ever, shine as bright as the moon.

You sat there, nails digging into your upper arms as you lost yourself in thought. The moon rose higher and higher. So many thoughts, and at the same time, nothing at all.

❀ | ④

╔═════ °• ♔ •° ═════╗ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 ╚═════ °• ♔ •° ═════╝

Delicate strokes to your hair woke you from your slumber. You grumbled, mind still disoriented. The hand sifting through your locks paused for a split second before continuing.

Blearily opening your eyes, you saw your mother, sat beside you on your bed, which you didn't remember getting into. She smiled down at you warmly, the crow's feet settled into the corners of her eyes adding a twinkle to her gaze.

"My daughter has finally awoken, I see," she chuckled. You squinted at her, not entirely hearing what she was saying, until you moved your upper body and rested your head on her lap. She laughed louder, allowing you to nestle comfortably against her.

"... time is it..?" You croaked, to tired to even bother forming a full sentence.

"Just past nine o'clock, dear. I'm surprised; usually you're up by eight." She raised a brow at you, but you ignored her, keeping your eyes closed. They felt sore and itchy, and most likely looked a soft shade of pink. You knew this.

"[Y/N], you need to wake up soon," there was a gentle nudge to your shoulder. "Your father has many things planned for you today."

You groaned loudly. That was the last thing you wanted. It was foolish to have it, but you had a small slither of hope left in you as you asked slowly:

"...Is he still here?"

A moment of silence, and then a sigh.

"You should have joined us for breakfast, dear. He truly is a nice fellow."

"No, he isn't." You sat up abruptly, turning away from her. A cold shiver ran through you as your arms became exposed. Glancing down, you saw you were wearing your night wear instead of your dress. It was then you realised your mind was on autopilot last night.

"[Y/N], please..."

"I'm not like you!" A stiff pause. "I can't see the good in people the way you do. So how do you expect me to see anything in him? A man who knows nothing of the world other than the fantasies he has been brought up with?"

You received no answer. Standing from your bed, you marched over to your dresser, pulling open the drawers. Something caught your eye, and you froze.

The vase you kept on your dresser was always empty. You came to dislike filling it with flowers, as the dying petals would always make a mess. It annoyed you to no end, how quickly flowers could wilt away. Too quickly.

But here, now, it was full. Fresh and vibrant hyacinths were placed in the vase, their petals bursting full of colour and life. They weren't leaning heavily to one side, like yours used to. They stood tall and proud, soaking up the sunlight just entering your room.

"Prince Karamatsu asked the maids to send these up to you." You flinched at the name.

"The only reason you cannot see the good in others is because you are always looking for the bad. If that's all you can see, then you will remain blind to the good." Your mother stood, leaving the room. Grasping the handle to your door, she looked back to you one more time, a smile still present. It looked all too familiar.

"He is not a bad person. Give him a chance."

The door shut behind her with a soft thud, leaving the room silent once more. You brought your gaze back to the flowers. They just had to be purple, didn't they?

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

"Horse riding?" you cringed. You eyed the horses with disdain, taking a step back as one of them shook their mane.

Your father came over to your side, hands on his hips as he smiled proudly at the selection of horses before him. Karamatsu was over by his own white-haired horse which had been brought over for him, busy patting its nuzzle with a fond smirk.

"But of course! The weather is perfect for it, don't you think?"

"No.." you grumbled under your breath, somewhat glad he hadn't heard you. Your father also went over to feed an apple to his horse, taking a brush and smoothing out its chestnut hair. You stood frigidly, unsure of what to do. You were desperate to walk back to the castle, but something was stopping you. And it was irritating you, how you couldn't figure out what it was.

Slowly, your eyes wandered around the stable, trailing over the golden hay scattered across the floor, to the resting horses, to the walls... then to him.

He didn't look any different from the first time you had met him. He looked so unbothered by the encounter he had with you last night, despite sending you those flowers. You found it unfair, how easy it was for him to hide his emotions like that.

Karamatsu felt something on him. He turned to you, his dark eyes connecting with your own and, for a split second, the world became still. There was no noise, no movement. Just the two of you, in a single frame. He nodded towards you, his smirk morphing into a smile.

"Princess—" You jolted, catching your surprised yelp before it could leave your throat. Your brow twitched as you turned on your heel, glowering at your butler.

"What?"

"M-My apologies!" Tanuki stammered, clearing his throat. "Your steed is ready for you, Princess," the older man bowed formally, guiding you out of the stable and onto the flat grassland. A black horse, a very strong looking one at that, stood idly before you, it's equally black eyes staring into nothing.

You grabbed a hold of Tanuki, pulling him to one side as you hissed into his ear.

"Tanuki, this is ridiculous!"

"I understand, but I am afraid there is nothing I can do, Princess..."

"Yes, there is! Take me to my study room!"

"Your father ordered me to keep you here for this activity, Princess," he sighed, eyeing you sympathetically. He gently coaxed your iron grip on his arm off of him, gesturing to the horse.

"You must brave through it."

He stepped away, just as your father and Karamatsu came out of the stables atop their horses, chatting away as they manoeuvred their beasts with ease. The twinge of jealousy you had felt before came back with full force, the burning fire of competition raging within you.

With new found resolution, you stepped up to the dark horse, stopping beside the saddle. You readied your hands against the leather, placing a foot in the small holster. Then, you paused. Then, you didn't move. Taking a deep breath, you willed yourself to push upwards and to sit on the damn horse, but your body wouldn't cooperate. The chatter from behind you had died down. Your brow twitched.

"My daughter, do you need some help?" You heard your father call, but you ignored him. You tried again with a huff, pushing up with all your might, barely lifting yourself off of the ground.

"Princess..."

"I don't need help!" You denied. You hated how your face burned in embarrassment. You felt like the court jester, making a complete fool of yourself. You knew this was a bad idea. How could your father have forgotten you didn't know how to ride a horse?

"Princess [Y/N]?"

"What?!"

You frustrated comments trailed off as a gloved hand was extended towards you. You followed it up, finding Karamatsu's kind face peering down at you.

"Perhaps it would be easier if you were to ride with me, instead?"

You were confused. What made him so different from everybody else? Why was he being so nice to you? You didn't need his pity, if that's what he was doing. You didn't need him to feel sorry for you. You didn't need him at all.

And yet, looking into his eyes, you saw no ill intent. Only a shimmer of hope. Hope for what? You couldn't understand. And you always understood everything.

You grit your teeth harshly.

With heavy reluctance, you grasped his outstretched palm, eyes widening by a fraction as he easily hauled you up to sit behind him, your skirts flowing off the side of his steed. Slowly, you placed your hands on his waist, not wanting to hold and be closer to him anymore than you already were.

"...Well, then," you father cleared his throat, stunned by what he had just witnessed, "Let's set off, shall we?" He tugged at his reigns, turning around and heading down the thin trail into the castle's forest. Karamatsu glanced back at you.

"Are you ready, Princess?"

"Just go already."

He chuckled softly in response, following behind the king. You wobbled in surprise at the sudden movement of the horse, gripping onto him just a tad bit tighter.

You peered around his broad shoulders, making sure that your father was out of earshot before you leaned up to his ear. You felt him shiver at the feeling of your warm breath hitting his skin. He tightened his hold on the reigns.

"Eh—?"

"Why purple? What do you have to be sorry for?"

Ichimatsu - Distant Future

𝘚𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦!𝘈𝘜 - 𝘙𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴

"Tch. You just had to show up, didn't you."

It came out more of a statement than a question, emphasised with a hot glare that Ichimatsu shot your way. You sat down heavily beside him on the bench, keeping your distance.

"Shut up. I really don't want to deal with your pissy attitude right now..." You muttered. Mumbling your order to Chibita, you leaned a hand against your forehead, rubbing your temple with a grimace.

"Then why are you here? Go back home or something," Ichimatsu retorted, raising a brow.

"Just shut. Up."

Chibita remained silent, hesitantly placing a bowl of Udon in front of you as he glanced quickly between you both. He prayed that you both wouldn't start fighting and tear his stand to bits.

"... Rough day?" Ichimatsu surprised himself, a rare occurrence for the fourth eldest Matsuno. His breath caught in his throat as he mentally yelled at himself. Why did he care? Why should he care? You both hated each other. Why did he suddenly feel so... sympathetic? He visibly cringed at the word.

You didn't reply for a while, occupying yourself by chewing away at your warm dinner. You sighed again.

"If you had a job as a receptionist in the only hospital in Akatsuka, you would know that it's more than 'rough'..." you rubbed a hand down your face, feeling your skin warm up from the friction.

Ichimatsu hummed, silently fiddling with his chopsticks. An awkward silence hung over the stand. Taking a deep breath, he knew he was going to regret this.

"...Do you... wanna... talk about it...?"

The reluctance in his voice was visible. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, the corners of your lips twitching slightly.

"Am I actually talking to Matsuno Ichimatsu? Or is this one of your brothers in disguise?"

"Shut up." was his only answer, facing away from you entirely. You chuckled, although you were confused. This was... different. Usually, you both would've started arguing by now yet, here you were, opening your mouth to spill your troubles onto the table for the one person you hated most.

Was that a good or bad thing? Nobody would know the answer in that moment. Not even Chibita, who had taken refuge under his stand, sweating profusely at the sudden turn of events.

"... Soulmates." You started. Ichimatsu winced, slouching further in his seat. "It's hard not to think about that sort of stuff when I have to see them everywhere at work... And considering my own situation with it, I just..."

You worried your bottom lip between your teeth. Should you say it? Maybe you shouldn't. Maybe you should stop.

"It just hurts, y'know?"

'Stop..!'

"Knowing that I'll never find anyone to care for me like everyone else..."

'That's enough!'

"I'll never know what it's like to love someone, romantically, or to have them love me back..."

The silence was different this time. Heavy, full of melancholy, full of heartache. Even so, you continued with a hollow smile stretched forcefully across your cheeks.

"But I guess that's how life works. Some get it lucky, and some... don't."

You didn't want to look over at him, knowing that his heavy lidded eyes were staring at you, burning holes into your skin. You couldn't tell what he was thinking. You didn't know why you said all that, to Ichimatsu of all people. However, there was no going back. You waited for the humiliation t be thrown your way.

"... I guess we're not so different, huh?"

"Wha-?"

"I still hate you, don't get me wrong," You stared in bewilderment at the back of his head, mouth wide open. "But... Life was never fair to begin with. If there was anyone who didn't deserve this kind of life with no red string, it would probably be you."

"...Ichima-"

"Put this on my tab, Chibita. I'm outta here..."

He swiftly stood up from his seat, pulling his hood tightly over his head before practically running away from you into the dark streets. Leaving you (and Chibita) dumbfounded.

You wouldn't be seeing him until two days later, when you woke up from your slumber with a scream.

You had rushed to get dressed, an ugly scowl permanently resting on your features, scaring people away from you as you ran frantically through the streets of Akatsuka, stopping heavily in your tracks the moment you spotted purple in an alleyway.

"You bastard!" You yelled, not caring about the cats scampering past you. Ichimatsu stood silently, his dark aura multiplying ten fold.

"I could say the same to you," he muttered.

"What the fuck did you do?" You stalked towards him, raising your hand in front of his face. "How did you do this?"

The red string of fate dangled with a faint glow in front of Ichimatsu's eyes, tied neatly around your pinkie finger. He didn't respond, although his own suspicions were confirmed.

"Why you?" you whispered, tears forming in the corners of your eyes.

"Why you, of all people...!" you grabbed fistfuls of his hoodie, leaning into him with a shaky sob.

"I don't... understand... I-I've been horrible to you.." you were bawling now, sinking to your knees, dragging the wide-eyed man down with you.

"I don't deserve any of this...! I should've just stayed alone for the rest of my life!"

You continued to mumble despair into his shoulder, your body racked with sobs and heavy breaths. Neither of you knew how long you had sat there on the dirty alleyway floor. Neither of you knew when Ichimatsu began rubbing your back, holding you closer.

Eventually, your cries died down to sniffles and hiccups, but you didn't want to move away just yet. You just wanted to stay there, not wanting to think about what kind of future that awaited the both of you.

»»-----　♔　-----««

"Ichimatsu? Are you okay?"

He blinked, turning towards you.

"Were you thinking about something?"

"...Yeah." He smiled softly, wrapping an arm around your waist, nuzzling his face into the top of your head. You giggled, leaning into him.

"Oh yeah? What was it?" You linked your fingers with his, bringing them up so plant soft kisses across his knuckles. Ichimatsu locked onto the red string connecting you both together, watching as it began to glow, beating in sync with your heartbeats.

"...We really used to hate each other, didn't we?"

Famine

Famine is the third horseman. She stayed close to the others for a very long time. This was until she was formally introduced to hell's ruling family.

She “hated” Beelzebub, she couldn’t understand them. The two seemed so different. She hated them, and beelzebub was ever so slowly falling for her. 

Over time Famine realized why she “hated” the royal so much. She thought they were soft. She thought that they could let anyone step on them. And she hated to see them in a position where they could possibly be exploited. 

So, she took a home in their ring in hell. She worked with Beelzebub and let her feelings go. They fell for each other. They got married. 

A beautiful wedding.