Fiercehearts - Tumblr Posts

Oh, it's anything but okay. TK realized it the moment he lost sight of Carlos and then heard the echoes of the gunshots. With the 126 being the first aid vehicle to arrive at the scene, they were there just in time to witness Carlos running after the robbers and disappearing around the corner of some alley. Which is never good. If New York taught him anything, as cliché as it is, it's that alleys are where the bad things happen.

Despite the order to stay on standby and wait for the Chief of Police for further instructions, TK runs off the moment the booming sound of gunfire reaches them. He thinks he hears Tommy and Nancy calling after him, but pays them no mind. Even without the police sirens blaring he's sure that he wouldn't have heard them over the blood rushing in his ears.

A flutter of panic has his heart skipping beats as he rounds the corner and is faced with his worst nightmare. Carlos on the ground – unmoving – with his partner, Officer Mitchell kneeling down to press her hands against the wound. TK practically falls down on his knees on Carlos' other side, batting away Mitchell's hands so he can replace them with his own. Vaguely, he hears Tommy's voice over the radio, telling TK to start on the ABC's, but everything's a blur and all he can focus on is Carlos Carlos Carlos.

"Hey, baby," TK forces a smile to his lips, knowing damn well that it's in vain. Knows that it's just a pathetic attempt to reassure Carlos, same as Carlos is trying to reassure him. "More help is on the way. Just stay with me, okay? You'll be fine." TK refuses to look at the pool of blood that's slowly seeping out from under Carlos. Refuses to accept that this could be the end.

@f1rstresponder „ there's too much blood. " / carlos baby

HOW COULD THINGS ALWAYS ENDED UP SO BADLY ? HE WENT WITH HIS GUT , WENT WITH PROTOCOL HALFWAY AND YET it all went downhill so fast. He was one of the first people on the scene with his partner , bank robbery with hostages , it wasn't a good situation and they had just arrived in time in order to watch the robbers run out of the bank and into an alley , where he immediately followed to stop them. It was his responsibility , his way of protecting the people of austin and he knew there was always a way to get hurt in the line of duty , he was aware of it. He just never thought it would happen like this. Carlos had raised his gun in order to make them stop , but they were surprised by a van almost running them over and carlos was about to make a call when the gunshots were fired and then everything went so fast. Barley any pain , but he could feel it , the bullet that went through his stomach , then his partners voice , more sirens , a lot more sirens , but all he could focus on was the way his body crumbled down.

This wasn't supposed to happen , not like this. He had fucked up big time again, didn't he ? He coughed up blood soon after , feeling the strength from his body fading when he saw a familiar face kneeling next to him , yet a face he didn't want to see. Not like this. TK wasn't suppose to see him like this. „ b..baby... “ , he gasped out in pain , yet he wanted to reassurance his boyfriend and his hand reached up to settle on top of his boyfriends one. Even though he couldn't feel his skin , he knew it was just a small act , one that wouldn't calm him , but it was an attempt. b it's.. okay. It's okay, baby. “

It's stupid how TK's brain is refusing to cooperate for now. He used to pride himself on his ability to compartmentalize and stay calm in times of stress and danger. It's not just the training, but the experience as well. After years of being in the field, the overexposure allows for his brain to normalize the situation and look at things in a logical manner; to be able to perform under pressure.

Nothing, though, could've prepared him for this.

"Stay awake. Come on, baby. Look at me. Carlos, look at me." He's rambling, begging, and God.. how he wishes he could comfort Carlos the way he really wants to. Caress his face or run his fingers through those curls. Hold his hand. "I love you, too. And I'm going to remind you every day, Carlos. Today's not the end. Don't you dare close your eyes." The pressure he's applying to the wound increases a little as TK moves to lean forward, trying to catch Carlos' gaze whenever his eyes flutter open again. Until they don't.

Tommy and Nancy are here now, and in a haze TK follows their orders as they turn Carlos on one side to both check for an exit wound (there isn't one) and to shove the backboard underneath him. It's both the longest and slowest minute of TK's life as they lift Carlos onto the stretcher and prepare him for transfer.

The drive to the hospital feels the same. With Nancy behind the wheel, both Tommy and TK are tending to Carlos. They get an IV going (or Tommy does, because TK's hands wouldn't stop shaking), clean and bandage the wound as best as they could, and keep monitoring the vital signs. It's not until after Tommy gives him this look, followed by a nod, that TK takes off his bloodied gloves and finally, finally takes Carlos' hand in his.

HE FELT EVERYTHING BUT FINE. HE KNEW BY THE WAY HIS sight was blurry and he was starting to feel dizzy that nothing was okay , that he was about to pass out , but he was trying to hold on. he couldn‘t make TK worry more , not after what they had been through and with a weak squeeze of his boyfriends hand , he tried to make sure he was doing okay a forced smile on his lips as his dark chocolate hues moved up , trying to find his boyfriends green ones. „ TK..'s fine.. j..don‘t “ , he whispered quietly as eyes fluttered shut and he whimpered in pain.

he had to fight. he had to try keep his eyes open , he owned that much to his boyfriend and his eyes opened again , trying to keep it that way , but it was hard. the darkness was such a welcoming place to be , because there was no pain , just peace. or at least it felt like that. „ l..love you , TK.. “ , the words coming over his lips were barley even more than a whisper and he was trying to fight against his body giving up , but with every passing second it was getting harder and harder to do. and then he just couldn‘t fight any longer.

he passed out just seconds after he told the words and he meant it. he meant it all. his whole heart and his whole life belonged to TK and he knew he wasn‘t going to love anyone else as much as he loved TK. there would never be another man in his life , even if this meant goodbye , he needed to make sure that TK knew he loved him. that his last words weren‘t something he‘d regret or hateful. he passed out completely , his body not moving and his face was pale due to the blood loss.

/ @fiercehearts

TK enjoyed married life. Or used to, at least. Sure, he’d never imagined it like this; him being a stay-at-home husband to a man spending more time at work than at home. But the marriage was okay. He might’ve had different ideas when he was younger, dreaming of being firefighter and having a loving family ( both at the same time, his career and marriage co-exisiting ) but still... life is good.

Until, all of a sudden, it isn't.

Though, in hindsight, TK has to admit it really isn't such a sudden thing. There's been a buildup for years, with Alex' behavior slowly and gradually changing. TK's tried so hard to convince himself that it was normal; every couple struggles sometimes and marriage isn't perfect. He ignored the signs. Brushed it off whenever his husband snapped at him or grabbed his arm just a little too tight. Told himself it was his own fault anyway; maybe his expectations for marriage were too high. Or maybe TK just sucked at being a good husband.

TK can't even remember what they argued about the first time Alex hit him. It shocked the both of them enough to stop fighting and Alex spent hours apologizing and trying to make it up to TK. Promising it won't happen again. Except that it does. The days, weeks, months after the first slap TK spent walking on eggshells, hiding bruises, and trying so hard to not anger his husband; to not let things escalate.

It was all in vain.

Again, TK can't quite remember the argument. One moment he was focused on dinner, the next he was forcefully turned around, head banging against the kitchen cabinet behind him. He does remember Alex' hand on his throat; squeezing, squeezing, and squeezing, and for a moment TK's sure that this is the end. He can't beg, can't apologize, can't even breathe, and for the first time, TK attempts to fight back. He struggles and squirms just enough to reach for something, anything, nearby and next thing he knows, Alex' grasp loosens as he sinks to the floor, clutching his bleeding stomach instead, and finally, finally TK can breathe again and– he runs.

The next few days are smudged together. A blur of spending hours in uncomfortable bus seats, walking for miles and miles until his feet hurt. How he ends up in some barn in God-knows-where is beyond him, but he had little to no choice. The house was dark when TK slipped into the empty barn and he told himself it would only be a few hours. Just a short nap and then he'd be on his way again well before sunrise; before the owners of the farm would even wake up. He falls asleep, huddled in the corner of the barn, and doesn't wake up until–

– someone's here.

TK's wide awake all of a sudden, not at all drowsy anymore, instead hyper aware of everything. Of everyone. He's quick to raise his hands, partly to shield his eyes from the flashlight and partly because– well, reflexes. The stranger – the owner of the place, probably – is remarkably calm and doesn't appear to be angry, but TK knows not to trust words and appearances. And promises. The amount of times Alex promised not to hurt him...

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to–" Trespass? Fall asleep? Get caught? His brain fails to come up with a proper excuse and TK's quick to scramble to his feet. It leaves him dizzy and he sways on his feet for a second or two before he's able to focus again. He squints against the bright light and slowly raises his own hands, mirroring the stranger. "I'm sorry," he repeats, "Please don't call the police. I can leave. I–I was about to leave. I swear I wasn't breaking in."

@f1rstresponder // plotted starter !!

LATE SHIFTS WERE CARLOS‘ FAVORITE AT THE MOMENT. THE STATION wasn‘t as busy , still enough to do and he just had returned from a day on the streets to his work desk in order to get all the files and reports in , letting out a soft sigh as he settled down on the desk. he felt exhausted from a day of work and it wasn‘t done yet , but he just wanted to do the paperwork before heading home , which would take him about half an hour , if he was fast. his gaze flickered towards the framed photograph of his parents and him on the ranch. a reminder of days where he had been happier , where he hadn‘t to question if the decisions he had made were right or wrong. or if they would be proud. he hoped they would be , but he couldn‘t be certain and there was a small , sad smile tugging on the corner of his lips as he stared at the picture for a moment , letting his mind wander. he often wondered if the decision to keep the ranch was wrong or not , but he couldn‘t bring it over his heart to sell it , not when it was the only thing he had left of them. not when there were so many memories he didn‘t want to just give away. he just shook his head slowly , before trying to focus back on the paperwork , when his phone blinked up. just once. then twice and his dark brows creased together when he quickly grabbed it to check on the notification he got.

even though he wasn‘t doing anything on the ranch out of security purposes he had installed a system on the ranch. abandoned buildings were easily a good spot for any kind of deals or people who thought could get away with breaking in. carlos wanted to make sure no one did any damage on it , that no one could spit on his parents legacy and there had been nothing for weeks , well tonight it changed. he checked again when he cursed under his breathe and pushed himself off of the chair he had been sitting on and the paperwork was forgotten. he had ot head over as fast as possible and he needed to change. he abandoned the paperwork to rush towards the locker room to change from his uniform to his normal clothes. he felt unsettled when he got to his car and just in order to scare the intruder away , he had taken the handcuffs and his taser with him. he didn‘t want to involve the police , the sirens would only scare them away and he knew that he could always call for back up later , but he wanted to check it out himself.

during the drive carlos felt even more nervous the closer he got to the ranch and his fingers drummed against the steering wheel , nervously chewing on his lower lip and he parked the car in front of the ranch , brown hues roaming over the shadow of the building in the dark. it was a scary scene and the once joyful lights and moments spent there felt cold. he wasn‘t just nervous because he had someone in there , but he was nervous , because he hadn‘t been here since he had the security system installed. as silent as possible the police officer got out of the car , pressing his lips together as he moved towards the house and to the back. he knew the intruder either had to be still in the abandoned stables or already in the house , but he wanted to check the back first and so he grabbed his flashlight and moved towards it with silent steps. the light lit up half of the barn and he looked carefully around , frowning when he went further inside the empty stalls. there was no evidence that there had been animals before or something living at all and he exhaled a deep breathe as he looked around. „ hello ? “ , he called out , even though he wanted to yell at himself for that. because it was how the first person in a horror movie always died , wasn‘t it ? he took another step forward and almost dropped the flashlight when he saw the intruder. a young male , who looked like he had been through hell. dark rings underneath his eyes just added up to the pale skin and the way how tired the young male looked. he didn‘t look like he was able to fight at all or was going to attack him. more like a scared cat that wanted to run away. „ hey..hey..hey.. it‘s alright. i‘m not going to hurt you , i promise. “ , he assured and raised his hand to show he wasn‘t going to harm him in any way.

because yes @fiercehearts

Head wound. Overdose. Moderate traumatic brain injury. Swelling and increase in intracranial pressure. Medically induced coma. A woman in a white jacket said these things on the first day, as if all her years of study and practice gave her the right to look at TK like that – with such pity – and speak those words as if he didn't realize already how bad things are.

It's been nearly a week now, TK thinks, but it's hard to keep track of time. Most of the days were spent at Carlos' bedside, with TK refusing to leave the room for the first two days, and then finally agreeing to leave the hospital for a whole 5 minutes on the third day to get some fresh air. Which he didn't need. He needs his fiancé to wake up and get better and just– survive.

Logically, TK knows that the drug-induced coma, even after the overdose, was necessary. It would reduce the energy requirements of the brain, which in turn reduces blood flow and pressure, and allows the brain to rest. To heal. Emotionally, though.. TK's a mess.

They've slowly started to wean Carlos off the sedatives yesterday and he may begin to slowly regain consciousness soon. Could even take a few days, the doctor warned, so there's no need to constantly hover, but Carlos has been getting a little more restless and TK just has to be there when he wakes up.

He forgoes the sofa-bed tonight, instead deciding to spend the night at Carlos' bedside in the chair he's grown way too accustomed to over the last week. Andrea brought pillows and blankets, so the chair isn't too uncomfortable, but still.. TK's back is anything but happy when he leans forward to rest his head on the bed, his fingers gently curled around Carlos' arm. He's been careful to avoid the damaged skin of Carlos' wrists that's still raw and chafed from struggling against the damn zip ties.

"Goodnight, baby," he whispers quietly, just like he does every night before he falls asleep to the beeping noises of the monitors and the mechanical whir of the ventilator.