Duncney Funny - Tumblr Posts
Courtney spends three hours wrapping each Christmas present in wrapping paper that corresponds with the receivers personality and ensures that every God damn angle on that paper is absolutely perfect and Duncan hands people their presents in a Wal-Mart bag.
Courtney spends three hours wrapping each Christmas present in wrapping paper that corresponds with the receivers personality and ensures that every God damn angle on that paper is absolutely perfect and Duncan hands people their presents in a Wal-Mart bag.
In honor of ✨️Christmas✨️
Courtney grew up in a household where the tree was just for the aesthetic. Courtney would help her mother decorate it, but each ornament had a very specific place, and the tree (like everything else in their life) had to be perfect. They alwyas had the white lights. Never colored. And once it was decorated, they were absolutely forbidden from touching it. In fact her mother rarely let them in the same room as the precious tree. On Christmas morning, there was a perfect amount of presents, perfectly wrapped in delicate silver wrapping paper and beautiful gold bows. Before Courtney could open any, her mother spent half an hour taking pictures of the tree. And then a thousand more photos as Courtney opened them, each reaction documented for her mother's friends and family to judge. Once her mother is satisfied with the photos she leaves. Her father is always working Christmas (it isn't until years later they discover he's actually spending Christmas with his mistress) so Courtney opens the rest of her presents alone. And then once she's done with that, she grabs her sled, walks to the park, and takes herself sledding until the sun goes down. She likes the slower hills, giggling to herself as she glides down the snow. The feeling relaxes her. No one is watching her here. At the end of the day, she lugs the sled that is almost at big as her home.
Duncan's Christmas tree starts off as a chaotic assortment of random ornaments that his Ma and little siblings put on haphazardly, but as the month wears on, as dogs, cats, and toddlers wreak havoc on it, there are ornaments everywhere, and the tree is soon barren. The colored lights always stayed up though. Christmas morning was hell. He had to fight his big brothers to open his presents. More often than not, he only got one present after his brothers picked through his pile. He tried telling his parents about it the first few times he was old enough to talk. His father said "No one likes a snitch. And man up." His father didn't buy any gifts. That was Ma's department. Ma never got any gifts. That is until Duncan's old enough to have some money in his pocket. He always gives it to her the day after Christmas, in secret. Can't let his brothers know he's getting soft. As soon as the presents are opened, everyone goes their separate ways to play with their new toys. Duncan himself prefers to go sledding. He loves the rush he gets, wind speeding past his face as he gathers speed. After the first few times he gets bored and starts building jumps at the bottom of the hill. At the end of the night he walks home, freezing cold and covered in snow but happy.
So when Duncan and Courtney grow up, they make sure that their kids have the BEST Christmas. On Christmas eve they make cookies for Santa. It's messy and the cookies are always covered in Way Too Many sprinkles, but Santa (totally not Duncan and Courtney) loves them because the kids put so much effort into it. Duncan gets emotional when he sees that their daughter crinkles her nose the same way Courtney does when she's trying to concentrate. Duncan gives the kids a bath and they curl up on one of their beds so that Courtney can read them the Night before Christmas. As soon as their little eyes flutter shut, they sneak downstairs.
Duncan cracks open Courtney's favorite wine as she lays out the obscene amount of presents they need to wrap. She picks out a special wrapping paper for each kid so that they can easily tell who each one goes to. She goes to great lengths to make sure they all have an equal amount of presents. But then Duncan will find one more because his precious baby HAS to have this, so they spend another hour at the store making sure there's still an equal amount of presents. And then the wrapping begins. Courtney insists they watch a cheesy Halmark movie, and Duncan is always invested by the end. It's painfully easy to tell if a present was wrapped by Duncan or Courtney. They finish wrapping presents at midnight. After making sure to eat all of the cookies left for Santa (leaving one with a strategic bite taken out of it), they stack the presents under the tree. The tree itself is a sight to behold. The ornaments always stay on. If one does fall off, Courtney makes sure to put it back. They always make the tree decorating an event. Everyone helps, and it doesn't even bother Courtney that the ornaments are crooked or unevenly spaced. Because her babies put them there and every time she looks at the tree she smiles. Unless Duncan changed the lights to colored. They're in a silent war all month long. Any time either of them walks into the living room, they change it to their preferred light setting. Their kids giggle every time, wondering why their parents take these lights so seriously. If they happen to be in the living room at the same time, it's a race to the remote.
On Christmas morning, Duncan and Courtney are woken up by little feet stomping down the hall to their room and screaming that Mommy! Daddy! Santa came! He left presents! It's CHRISTMAS WAKE UP! They sit up in bed and hold their little ones, feigning shock that Santa really did come. They tell them to go sit downstairs and then drag themselves out of bed. Duncan starts a pot with coffee and by the time Courtney is done waking up he's able to hand her her favorite Christmas mug full of coffee with her creamer just the way she likes it. She slumps against him and he presses a kiss to her head before whispering that the kids are going to explode if they don't get started soon. She kisses him and tells him that they better get going then. Their kids are practically vibrating with excitement but are sitting patiently by the tree. Duncan and Courtney make a big show of slowlyyyyyy finding their presents. And then verrryyyy slowlyyyy handing them to the kids who are losing their minds (because they are amazing parents but they're still assholes). And as soon as the presents are in their hands Courtney sighs exaggeratedly because oh no she forgot the do something superrrrr important and it's probably going to take at LEAST an hour. And Duncan agrees that yes it is superrrr important and how could they not take at least TWO hours to complete this totally real task and the kids are Screaming. Until Duncan shouts GO! And from there it's a flurry of wrapping paper and thank yous and hugs and smiles. And Duncan goes around with a trash bag throwing away all their wrapping paper so that Courtney can actually relax and enjoy Christmas morning. And with his bedhead, rolled up sleeves, and Grinch pajamas, Courtney thinks he's never looked sexier.
Once the kids are done with their presents, Duncan brings out a whole pile for Courtney. And of course the kids have presents for her too. Once she's done opening hers and giving each of the kids a big hug, she whispers to Duncan that he gets his gift later and winks as she walks away to start on breakfast. Duncan is convinced he has the sexiest wife in the entire universe. Duncan makes pancakes and Courtney fries bacon as the kids play with their new toys. Once breakfast is eaten, it's time to go sledding. Courtney puts an excessive amount of clothing on the kids and then they all pile into the car. Duncan pulls all of them up the hill, claiming that it's easy, but as soon as they're to the top he falls into the snow, making all the kids giggle and climb on top of him "Daddy you have to come down with us!" Their braver children clamber into the sled with Duncan, and sqeaul when Courtney gives them an extra push.
Courtney climbs into the second sled with their littlest one and holds them tightly as they glide down the hill. They spend all day in the snow. While Courtney finishes up a snowman with the older ones, Duncan shows their littlest how to make a snowball, and then demonstrates how it works by chucking it at Courtney's back. She whips around with a terrifying glare. "And now, we run." Everyone is soon covered in snow, and it doesn't take long for teams to form. They build snowforts and make snowballs, starting an all out war. It ends when Courtney and Duncan meet in the middle and wrestle each other down into the snow. Eventually Duncan cups her face and kisses her so sweetly she drops the handful of snow she was clutching. Then one of the kids throws a snowball directly at their faces. They're about to retaliate when the littlest sneezes and says "I'm cold Mommy." They quickly head home and curl up onto the couch with hot coco and a Christmas movie. The kids quickly fall asleep, tuckered out from such a big day. The whole family is warm and cozy, everyone all tangled up under blankets. "Merry Christmas Princess." Courtney laughs and kisses him. "Merry Christmas Duncan."
In honor of ✨️Christmas✨️
Courtney grew up in a household where the tree was just for the aesthetic. Courtney would help her mother decorate it, but each ornament had a very specific place, and the tree (like everything else in their life) had to be perfect. They alwyas had the white lights. Never colored. And once it was decorated, they were absolutely forbidden from touching it. In fact her mother rarely let them in the same room as the precious tree. On Christmas morning, there was a perfect amount of presents, perfectly wrapped in delicate silver wrapping paper and beautiful gold bows. Before Courtney could open any, her mother spent half an hour taking pictures of the tree. And then a thousand more photos as Courtney opened them, each reaction documented for her mother's friends and family to judge. Once her mother is satisfied with the photos she leaves. Her father is always working Christmas (it isn't until years later they discover he's actually spending Christmas with his mistress) so Courtney opens the rest of her presents alone. And then once she's done with that, she grabs her sled, walks to the park, and takes herself sledding until the sun goes down. She likes the slower hills, giggling to herself as she glides down the snow. The feeling relaxes her. No one is watching her here. At the end of the day, she lugs the sled that is almost at big as her home.
Duncan's Christmas tree starts off as a chaotic assortment of random ornaments that his Ma and little siblings put on haphazardly, but as the month wears on, as dogs, cats, and toddlers wreak havoc on it, there are ornaments everywhere, and the tree is soon barren. The colored lights always stayed up though. Christmas morning was hell. He had to fight his big brothers to open his presents. More often than not, he only got one present after his brothers picked through his pile. He tried telling his parents about it the first few times he was old enough to talk. His father said "No one likes a snitch. And man up." His father didn't buy any gifts. That was Ma's department. Ma never got any gifts. That is until Duncan's old enough to have some money in his pocket. He always gives it to her the day after Christmas, in secret. Can't let his brothers know he's getting soft. As soon as the presents are opened, everyone goes their separate ways to play with their new toys. Duncan himself prefers to go sledding. He loves the rush he gets, wind speeding past his face as he gathers speed. After the first few times he gets bored and starts building jumps at the bottom of the hill. At the end of the night he walks home, freezing cold and covered in snow but happy.
So when Duncan and Courtney grow up, they make sure that their kids have the BEST Christmas. On Christmas eve they make cookies for Santa. It's messy and the cookies are always covered in Way Too Many sprinkles, but Santa (totally not Duncan and Courtney) loves them because the kids put so much effort into it. Duncan gets emotional when he sees that their daughter crinkles her nose the same way Courtney does when she's trying to concentrate. Duncan gives the kids a bath and they curl up on one of their beds so that Courtney can read them the Night before Christmas. As soon as their little eyes flutter shut, they sneak downstairs.
Duncan cracks open Courtney's favorite wine as she lays out the obscene amount of presents they need to wrap. She picks out a special wrapping paper for each kid so that they can easily tell who each one goes to. She goes to great lengths to make sure they all have an equal amount of presents. But then Duncan will find one more because his precious baby HAS to have this, so they spend another hour at the store making sure there's still an equal amount of presents. And then the wrapping begins. Courtney insists they watch a cheesy Halmark movie, and Duncan is always invested by the end. It's painfully easy to tell if a present was wrapped by Duncan or Courtney. They finish wrapping presents at midnight. After making sure to eat all of the cookies left for Santa (leaving one with a strategic bite taken out of it), they stack the presents under the tree. The tree itself is a sight to behold. The ornaments always stay on. If one does fall off, Courtney makes sure to put it back. They always make the tree decorating an event. Everyone helps, and it doesn't even bother Courtney that the ornaments are crooked or unevenly spaced. Because her babies put them there and every time she looks at the tree she smiles. Unless Duncan changed the lights to colored. They're in a silent war all month long. Any time either of them walks into the living room, they change it to their preferred light setting. Their kids giggle every time, wondering why their parents take these lights so seriously. If they happen to be in the living room at the same time, it's a race to the remote.
On Christmas morning, Duncan and Courtney are woken up by little feet stomping down the hall to their room and screaming that Mommy! Daddy! Santa came! He left presents! It's CHRISTMAS WAKE UP! They sit up in bed and hold their little ones, feigning shock that Santa really did come. They tell them to go sit downstairs and then drag themselves out of bed. Duncan starts a pot with coffee and by the time Courtney is done waking up he's able to hand her her favorite Christmas mug full of coffee with her creamer just the way she likes it. She slumps against him and he presses a kiss to her head before whispering that the kids are going to explode if they don't get started soon. She kisses him and tells him that they better get going then. Their kids are practically vibrating with excitement but are sitting patiently by the tree. Duncan and Courtney make a big show of slowlyyyyyy finding their presents. And then verrryyyy slowlyyyy handing them to the kids who are losing their minds (because they are amazing parents but they're still assholes). And as soon as the presents are in their hands Courtney sighs exaggeratedly because oh no she forgot the do something superrrrr important and it's probably going to take at LEAST an hour. And Duncan agrees that yes it is superrrr important and how could they not take at least TWO hours to complete this totally real task and the kids are Screaming. Until Duncan shouts GO! And from there it's a flurry of wrapping paper and thank yous and hugs and smiles. And Duncan goes around with a trash bag throwing away all their wrapping paper so that Courtney can actually relax and enjoy Christmas morning. And with his bedhead, rolled up sleeves, and Grinch pajamas, Courtney thinks he's never looked sexier.
Once the kids are done with their presents, Duncan brings out a whole pile for Courtney. And of course the kids have presents for her too. Once she's done opening hers and giving each of the kids a big hug, she whispers to Duncan that he gets his gift later and winks as she walks away to start on breakfast. Duncan is convinced he has the sexiest wife in the entire universe. Duncan makes pancakes and Courtney fries bacon as the kids play with their new toys. Once breakfast is eaten, it's time to go sledding. Courtney puts an excessive amount of clothing on the kids and then they all pile into the car. Duncan pulls all of them up the hill, claiming that it's easy, but as soon as they're to the top he falls into the snow, making all the kids giggle and climb on top of him "Daddy you have to come down with us!" Their braver children clamber into the sled with Duncan, and sqeaul when Courtney gives them an extra push.
Courtney climbs into the second sled with their littlest one and holds them tightly as they glide down the hill. They spend all day in the snow. While Courtney finishes up a snowman with the older ones, Duncan shows their littlest how to make a snowball, and then demonstrates how it works by chucking it at Courtney's back. She whips around with a terrifying glare. "And now, we run." Everyone is soon covered in snow, and it doesn't take long for teams to form. They build snowforts and make snowballs, starting an all out war. It ends when Courtney and Duncan meet in the middle and wrestle each other down into the snow. Eventually Duncan cups her face and kisses her so sweetly she drops the handful of snow she was clutching. Then one of the kids throws a snowball directly at their faces. They're about to retaliate when the littlest sneezes and says "I'm cold Mommy." They quickly head home and curl up onto the couch with hot coco and a Christmas movie. The kids quickly fall asleep, tuckered out from such a big day. The whole family is warm and cozy, everyone all tangled up under blankets. "Merry Christmas Princess." Courtney laughs and kisses him. "Merry Christmas Duncan."
I'm halfway done writing a medieval royalty Duncney AU but I'm also suffering extreme brain rot from a Kb5 plus Gwen paranormal horror Au that doesn't have a full plot yet but it COULD if I start working on it. Anyways which one would y'all be more likely to enjoy?
I'm halfway done writing a medieval royalty Duncney AU but I'm also suffering extreme brain rot from a Kb5 plus Gwen paranormal horror Au that doesn't have a full plot yet but it COULD if I start working on it. Anyways which one would y'all be more likely to enjoy?
My ADHD is being a little shit so I'm making it write a Duncney one shot in one hour, similar to how a mother might make her child run laps when it's hyper.
My ADHD is being a little shit so I'm making it write a Duncney one shot in one hour, similar to how a mother might make her child run laps when it's hyper.
Little details/headcanons about the KB5 plus Gwen as kids in the fanfic I may or may not be writing (Mostly Baby Duncney)
Duncan and Courtney are best friends
When Duncan meets her for the first time, she's wearing a fancy dress and she's so pretty and neat and she has a bow on the top of her head right about where a crown should be and he blurts out "You look like a princess."
Courtney wanted to be a princess when she grew up. Not because of the pretty dresses but because she liked the idea of ruling an entire kingdom.
Courtney is the only one allowed to touch Duncan. Mostly because most of the touch he's experienced in his young life hasn't been kind.
Any time they're moving anywhere they are holding hands, mostly Courtney dragging Duncan behind her.
Courtney is about 2 inches taller than Duncan.
He hates it.
If anyone teases them for being boyfriend girlfriend, it's a toss up who's going to be doing the beating but someone is getting beat.
Anytime anyone teases Courtney, Duncan beats them up.
Anytime anyone teases Duncan, Courtney gets revenge more subtly. Maybe their blanky is found jammed into the paper shredder, maybe the teacher heard from a very reliable source that they did something naughty and their parents are going to be called. Either way, Duncan almost never gets teased after the first few incidents.
Courtney hates Duncan's dad and glares at him when he picks Duncan up.
Duncan is the only one allowed to help Courtney. Whether she can't open something, doesn't know the answer to a question, or scraped her knee, Duncan is the only one she'll let help her.
Bridgette and Geoff don't get along.
Geoff is always teasing her and she hates it.
Bridgette is the only one Duncan doesn't get jealous of when Courtney hangs out with her.
Likewise, Geoff is the only person Courtney won't throw a hisssy fit over when Duncan hangs out with him.
Geoff calls Courtney "Baby doe" because her freckles and big round eyes remind him of the baby deer he's seen.
Courtney allows it.
Gwen is extremely shy.
Tiny baby DJ is one of the only people she talks to, since she can tell there isn't a mean bone in his body.
They both love animals and spend most of their time talking about them.
Bridgette is a social butterfly and is friends with everyone at their school, so she befriends DJ and Gwen, roping them into their little friend group.
The entire group quickly becomes protective of DJ.
They are absolute menaces.
They all sleep in a big pile at nap time.
They all share all of their food at lunch, since there's always something someone doesn't have.
Courtney and Duncan live close enough that whenever her parents leave her home alone (which is a lot) she just goes to his house.
His dog Petey absolutely adores her and has been known to escape to her house when Duncan isn't home.
His mom also loves her and hopes she's her future daughter in law.
Courtney's mother is not a fan of Duncan, even less so when she makes a comment about Courtney's body and Duncan, at the ripe age of 6 years old, shouts that she's a judgy bitch in front of their entire preschool class and their parents.
Courtney gives him a big hug the next day.
It's at this moment Duncan turns bright red and realizes he has a crush on Courtney.
Little details/headcanons about the KB5 plus Gwen as kids in the fanfic I may or may not be writing (Mostly Baby Duncney)
Duncan and Courtney are best friends
When Duncan meets her for the first time, she's wearing a fancy dress and she's so pretty and neat and she has a bow on the top of her head right about where a crown should be and he blurts out "You look like a princess."
Courtney wanted to be a princess when she grew up. Not because of the pretty dresses but because she liked the idea of ruling an entire kingdom.
Courtney is the only one allowed to touch Duncan. Mostly because most of the touch he's experienced in his young life hasn't been kind.
Any time they're moving anywhere they are holding hands, mostly Courtney dragging Duncan behind her.
Courtney is about 2 inches taller than Duncan.
He hates it.
If anyone teases them for being boyfriend girlfriend, it's a toss up who's going to be doing the beating but someone is getting beat.
Anytime anyone teases Courtney, Duncan beats them up.
Anytime anyone teases Duncan, Courtney gets revenge more subtly. Maybe their blanky is found jammed into the paper shredder, maybe the teacher heard from a very reliable source that they did something naughty and their parents are going to be called. Either way, Duncan almost never gets teased after the first few incidents.
Courtney hates Duncan's dad and glares at him when he picks Duncan up.
Duncan is the only one allowed to help Courtney. Whether she can't open something, doesn't know the answer to a question, or scraped her knee, Duncan is the only one she'll let help her.
Bridgette and Geoff don't get along.
Geoff is always teasing her and she hates it.
Bridgette is the only one Duncan doesn't get jealous of when Courtney hangs out with her.
Likewise, Geoff is the only person Courtney won't throw a hisssy fit over when Duncan hangs out with him.
Geoff calls Courtney "Baby doe" because her freckles and big round eyes remind him of the baby deer he's seen.
Courtney allows it.
Gwen is extremely shy.
Tiny baby DJ is one of the only people she talks to, since she can tell there isn't a mean bone in his body.
They both love animals and spend most of their time talking about them.
Bridgette is a social butterfly and is friends with everyone at their school, so she befriends DJ and Gwen, roping them into their little friend group.
The entire group quickly becomes protective of DJ.
They are absolute menaces.
They all sleep in a big pile at nap time.
They all share all of their food at lunch, since there's always something someone doesn't have.
Courtney and Duncan live close enough that whenever her parents leave her home alone (which is a lot) she just goes to his house.
His dog Petey absolutely adores her and has been known to escape to her house when Duncan isn't home.
His mom also loves her and hopes she's her future daughter in law.
Courtney's mother is not a fan of Duncan, even less so when she makes a comment about Courtney's body and Duncan, at the ripe age of 6 years old, shouts that she's a judgy bitch in front of their entire preschool class and their parents.
Courtney gives him a big hug the next day.
It's at this moment Duncan turns bright red and realizes he has a crush on Courtney.
This is either the first chapter of a pretty long fic, or it's acute one-shot I wrote. Either way enjoy. :)
I think you'd like this story: "Ghosts " by coffeebeans4160 on Wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/story/339765494?utm_source=android&utm_medium=com.tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading&wp_uname=coffeebeans4160&wp_originator=%2BXJbHwFhf0loIDiNqRepsD1wYa3yDf3TNpNqzZL%2B%2Bb9tfuOAwu7YbL7KIBZIqdmJ6Au5zkPpkmH6fMGOSO6nuO5%2FnxhecTPFEOzskXrq73fX7xGQg%2B6FPcdLaa3Ie6wt
This is either the first chapter of a pretty long fic, or it's acute one-shot I wrote. Either way enjoy. :)
I think you'd like this story: "Ghosts " by coffeebeans4160 on Wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/story/339765494?utm_source=android&utm_medium=com.tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading&wp_uname=coffeebeans4160&wp_originator=%2BXJbHwFhf0loIDiNqRepsD1wYa3yDf3TNpNqzZL%2B%2Bb9tfuOAwu7YbL7KIBZIqdmJ6Au5zkPpkmH6fMGOSO6nuO5%2FnxhecTPFEOzskXrq73fX7xGQg%2B6FPcdLaa3Ie6wt
That one lady cop and delinquent from Bird Box give me such Duncney vibes and no one knows what I'm talking about.
That one lady cop and delinquent from Bird Box give me such Duncney vibes and no one knows what I'm talking about.
Why is no one talking about the horror au Total Slaughtered Island on Tik Tok????? Like it's so awful???? I've been crying and puking all day????? I love it so much?????? The terror????? The ANGST?????? The heartbreak????? Why aren't we talking about this???????????
Why is no one talking about the horror au Total Slaughtered Island on Tik Tok????? Like it's so awful???? I've been crying and puking all day????? I love it so much?????? The terror????? The ANGST?????? The heartbreak????? Why aren't we talking about this???????????
Just had a vision of Courtney, Dj, and Bridgette at some sort of work party or formal social gathering dressed in nice respectable clothes and then at some point in the conversation they're like "Oh yes I did bring my partner they're over there." And then it pans to Geoff in an unbuttoned flamingo print shirt chugging directly out of a punch bowl, Gwen helping him hold it up and Duncan recording while he and Gwen (in their emo ass outfits) are shouting "Chug Chug Chug Chug"