Detoxing Masculinity - Tumblr Posts
Ooh, another potential pop culture touchstone in this #metoo aftermath moment.
I feel like I’ve chewed on these thoughts long enough, so let’s go ahead and just tackle them: Steve Harrington.
Tbh? I fucking hated him.
So. Fucking. Much.
He would steal Nancy’s book bag and keep her from class and get in the way of her studies, which were all obviously so important to her. He pressured her for more intimate acts when Nancy resisted (my feelings on this topic are more complicated when considering Nancy’s perspective, but right now I’m just talking about Steve and the face-value of his interactions with her, where she repeatedly told him no). He allowed his friends to mock and belittle her. To slander her in the most public and damaging way possible for a small town like Hawkins.
By the end of Act 2 for the first season, I was very much hoping the demogorgon would fucking eat his face clean off.
But then he did something remarkable. He realized “I shouldn’t have done that.” He looked at his “friends” and realized their influence was toxic. He cut them off and sought forgiveness from Jonathan, whom he’d also harmed. His concern for seeing Nancy at Jonathan’s house wasn’t rooted in his suspicion that she was cheating on him—in fact, his first reaction upon seeing her answer the door was apologetic, even desperate. It’s only after he sees her injury that his protectiveness kicks in. And it’s not that he wants to protect Nancy from a romantic rival. He just wants to protect Nancy from an abuser. (And in a town like Hawkins, I think it’s reasonable for people to know about the nature of Lonnie and Joyce Byers’s relationship, even if they don’t vocalize their acknowledgement of it. It’s not an unreasonable to expect Jonathan to be the same.)
By the end of the first season, I was well into “well, he’s not as bad as I thought” territory, and I was willing to concede that his arc had been a profound and commendable one.
And then season two happened.
His first scene is with Nancy, relying on and trusting her judgment as a better writer. He’s recentered their relationship. It’s not just about getting what he can out of her (or even just seeming to). He treats her as an equal. He really, genuinely loves and respects her—possibly because he now appreciates what it’s like to lose her. However! His reaction to losing Nancy more permanently doesn’t trigger a regression into his douchier origins.
He’s actually changed.
His growth is challenged and he chooses to continue being the better person he’s become.
He’s upset and hurt. Naturally. But never once does he hurl any of the calumnies he allowed his friends to spray paint across the marquee for all the town/world to see. He’s heartbroken over Nancy, but he can still be a damn good babysitter for the kids. They need him, and he sets aside his own troubles to take care of them.
But the thing I respect the most about Steve The Character is how believable he is. He was a dick, he had a moment of clarity about being a dick, he made an active effort to not be a dick, and with practice, he was able to resist the easy invitation to be a dick once more, absent what’s typically the reason for men in stories to not be a dick (i.e., the love of a woman who expects more from him).
Steve Harrington has experienced heartbreak and not used it as an excuse to be a worse person. He’s been given the opportunity to be petty and accusatory and chosen not to indulge it. Instead, he’s taken a flock of fledglings under his wing and protected them. In the case of Dustin, he’s even accepted the role of Big Brother and offered advice on how to Adult.
Steve Harrington has gone from “I hope a demogorgon eats his face” to “he’s a gift and a treasure and must be protected” in such a short time. And more than that, the change has been believable.
Steve Harrington is a gift and a treasure. He must be protected.