Confused Aliens - Tumblr Posts
Humans are Weird: Indomitable Spirit Addition.
Okay, so I've been following these sort of posts on the internet for a while now, but now I have a Tumblr and the ability to add my two cents! Humans are stubborn. They're obnoxious and juvenile and too curious for their own good. And they break. So. Much. Stuff! "I just wanted to see how it worked, I'll put it back together, promise!" Humans are incorrigible. There is no changing them into something slightly more sane, on the galactic scale.
Humans don't ever know when to quit. Ahn-skletch (well, that's as close as galactic standard characters could get to the approximation of his name) had been assigned to an away party, to go take samples and verify the habitability bracket on some Nowhere moon close enough to the human's Sol system that they picked up one of those capricious creatures for "diversity within the crew". Convenient. Humans were only ever trouble, but oh well. Maybe it would be funny to watch them. Ahn-skletch had the misfortune to be partnered with the gee-awl-uh-gyst human they'd picked up... the kind that studied rocks. Close enough to Ahn-skletch's field of ecology that they got paired up because those two fields of study were the same thing, right? Beings of the Vlistant species were not known for strict logic alongside their high intelligence rating, and the waves of mild irritation that swept over when that erroneous point had been made were truly immense. Rocks and eco systems.
Perhaps the human had been annoyed as well, but they did not show it. The human stepped over and introduced itself as "Gene, nice to meet ya'."
The human Gene did not stick out its hand, as Ahn-skletch had heard humans greet each other with touching of hands or wrapping appendages around each other, but the aborted movement was there. Which was a relief, for the reason that Vlistants did not generally greatly enjoy unnecessary contact. Humans called the phenomenon "electric shock", but that seemed to be the closest description to the sensation they received upon physical contact with other living creatures, having a slightly greater dormant charge to their organic systems. Contact = discomfort. Why bother? But that did nothing for him on the surface of the moon, where the air was breathable, though not for extended periods. That could be treated for specific species easily enough for colonizing. The ground seemed rich enough, though soft and somewhat crumbly, which likely meant the soil would be easy to work and cultivate the native edible flora. Little pools dotted the landscape with regularity, the liquid inside tested positive for consumption for 73.25% of the galaxy's sentient inhabitants, and recent signs of fauna signaled it to be a thriving system. Very encouraging signs. Until the human Gene insisted on getting a closer look at a large cliff face nearby, one with a convenient shelf to look out over the land below. Ahn-skletch followed. Humans shouldn't be left alone, after all. Too many stories circulated the galaxy for that. While the human Gene touched, tapped, made little scrapings into bottles... did they just lick the cliff wall? Well, humans were weird, after all. Ahn-skletch stepped along toward the edge of the shelf, carefully examining the organic life that stretched out and up towards the atmosphere, taking note of the smaller life forms crawling along the ground and in the flora, glancing back to human Gene now and then, taking peace from the calm and quiet. The oddest sensation came up through Ahn-skletch's pods, and then the ground seemed to rise up before their eyes!
Survival reflexes honed by many training courses were all that allowed Ahn-skeltch to close their hands around a large root exposed in the ground as they began to fell with the collapsed shelf. A singular root, sticking out of the same crumbly soil that had just fallen out from underfoot. Almost immediately, as soon as Ahn-skletch looked from the root upward to gauge how far they had fallen, Human Gene's face appeared over the edge, along with an arm that just barely reached far enough to possibly reach. "Sleechh! Grab my hand!" Human Gene, "The electric transfer will shock your system! You must find something to lower down to me!" What terrible fortune to be paired with a human! So delicate a body system, the energy transfer would surely cause the muscles to spasm and drop Ahn-skletch! What terrible odds! "There's nothing in my pack! We didn't get the climbing cord! Grab my hand! I won't drop you! Hurry!" Human Gene scooted further forward on his belly. "The ground might crumble more, and you don't want to go down with that plant, do you?" By all the low gods of the Vlistants... "There is no way! You cannot abide the electric transfer long enough to pull me up!" Desperation for survival won out. Ahn-skletch let the root go with one per and reached up, grabbed that pale human hand, expected to feel the spasm and release and the short fallback to the root... ...but it never came. That human hand clamped like a vice around it, and with a great shout, human Gene pulled upward. Ahn-skletch could not look away from the human's face as they moved up, slowly inching up the face of the outcrop that seemed to be threatening to crumble again with every particle that bounced downward over an eternity that stretched forever. Then the moment came where Ahn-skletch had to let go of the root.
It took much effort to let go, to move that grip to human Gene's arm, which brought another loud, strained noise. But human Gene's grip did not waver, and only ever kept pulling upward. Human Gene groaned, little drops appeared on their skin in the effort to keep pulling upward. Further, further, a little more... Human Gene still did not let go. Particles came loose and tumbled by Ahn-skletch, down into the great distance to the ground far, far below. The energy currant cycling through their bodies became uncomfortable for even Ahn-skletch, who was better developed to handle it. Still, human Gene did not falter, pulled a little further, and a little more...
...Then the top! And they scrambled backward to more sturdy ground. Human Gene had to pry their fingers away from Ahn-skletch's appendage, they had so tightly clenched to keep their grip as their body had spasmed with the extra electric energy.
Human Gene just flexed and rolled the joints and panted, "I guess we'll pack a rope next time, yeah?" in a most underwhelming tone. Ahn-skletch could only stare in shock. But they agreed. Always pack a rope. And privately, Ahn-skletch noted to go with a human whenever possible. Humans would not give up. To their own detriment, they would not give up. Human Gene ("For goodness' sake, call me Gene! I don't call you 'Vlistant Sleechh, do I?") suffered muscular strain and subluxation of four joints through the ordeal to pull up Ahn-scletch. Even when it brought them harm to do so, Humans did not quit. Over many cycle, Ahn-skletch would collect many more stories of humans doing similar things to save crew-mates. So many stories ended telling of much damage to the humans for their determination to keep going. Humans are strange. They are illogical, silly, crass, and troublesome. They cannot control their curiosity or their strangeness. They will adopt tiny, dangerous creatures as "pets", and will spend many hours training harmful behaviors out of their wild creatures. Humans do not know when to quit. Perhaps that is why they have spread so fast through the galaxy. They are delicate, but they are not afraid to be wounded. Either they will heal, or they will not, but the risk is worth it. It is their spirit that makes them so. Humans are not the strongest in the universe, nor will they ever be, but they are indomitable.