Communication Is Important - Tumblr Posts

Don't get sucked into the "if they really cared I wouldn't have to say something" spiral. No matter how close you are with someone, it's unfair to expect them to know things you haven't actually communicated.

The layers in Gilbert’s confession

Gilbert is saying, here are all the amazing things that will happen if I marry Winnifred. I can’t believe all of these things are just being handed to me. I don’t feel worthy. What am I supposed to do? Do I do this momentous thing because it helps me?

And Anne says: Well why wouldn’t you? Why aren’t you jumping on it? Why are we talking about this when it is breaking me. What is holding you back?

And Gilbert says those three words: Just one thing.

To Anne, he is saying: I have all of these opportunities and I want them so badly, but you are holding me back.

But what Gilbert is really saying is: this one thing (you) outweighs all of these other amazing opportunities. YOU outweigh the combination of everything (school, money, Paris, a different life). And while my head says that is irrational, my heart says you are worth more.

That’s the crux of this miscommunication. Anne thinks she is holding him back, but he is trying (badly) to explain that a life with her is worth more than anything else. He is saying he would give it all up for her.

Thanks for coming to my Shirbert talk. Going to go die now.

As an autistic person, the implications of "if they really cared I wouldn't have to say it" culture are really scary. Because I want to know what hurts your feelings, what crosses your boundaries, where the line between teasing and being mean is at for you, what you need, and how to make you feel loved. And the implication that if my disability makes me unable to figure out these things through intuition alone, then I'm just not worth having around, is genuinely heartbreaking