CO13 - Tumblr Posts
10:37 pm — chifuyu seeking comfort in baji y/n's arms
tw — implied hyperventilation + implied dissociation + character death + implied trauma + implied anxiety + mentions of cursing + implied child pregnancy, which implies child rape and/or sexual abuse + implied meltdown + mentions of a breakdown + emotional suppression + lmk if i missed anything
notes — lower case intended + angst + not proofread + manga spoilers + chifuyu is best boi + idk what a haircare day includes
word count — 2.3k, pt [1], [2], [3], [4]
chifuyu blinked.
“i don’t want to make my mom cry.” baji muttered abashedly under his breath, looking away with a small blush on his cheeks. “not again.”
was this really the boy who he thought was a real bad delinquent?
baji filled him in on how his mom didn’t want him to be the best. she just wanted him to do his best and at the very least pass all his subjects.
yeah, chifuyu was going to help alright.
and later on that day, when baji keisuke took on all those boys by himself, chifuyu's respect for him soared to the damn skies.
“come on,” baji-san grinned mischievously, his demeanour much different from his nerd persona.
“huh? where to?” but chifuyu tagged along anyway, because this was the first person he openly respected.
“i'm going to introduce you to my mom.” chifuyu malfunctioned at baji-san's proud and bold proclamation.
“are you sure that’s alright??” and it was chifuyu's turn to blush with a gaping mouth and even wider eyes. he didn't want to meet anyone's parents, okay? that was too awkward a situation for him. “i mean, we just met.”
“its fine. she likes to meet my friends.”
and warmth erupted in his chest once more,
that was the second time baji-san called him friend.
“mom!” baji hollered after slamming the door shut, and chifuyu wasn’t sure how it still stood on its hinges. that wasn't his main concern though, anyway. “i brought a friend!”
chifuyu found himself retreating and hiding behind baji-san's much wider back. he quaked in his shoes and shuddered.
he did not want to meet anyone’s parents, alright?
and a smile so gentle and warm greeted him.
“keisuke! you made new friends?” and a smile so, so precious greeted him. “hi ♡”
baji keisuke did not tell him he had a sister,
and chifuyu's face erupted into shades of red.
strawberry red, volcanic red, blood red, and the red you see when you want to strangle someone.
chifuyu could only stammer and stutter as he tried to form a reply, and there goes first impressions out the damn window.
he slapped both of his hands on his cheeks when she sat them down and went to make drinks. she didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, right?
and why was keisuke grinning at him like that?
chifuyu’s hands stayed on his cheeks as he started a conversation.
“i... i didn’t know you had a sister?” chifuyu inwardly cringed. that was not what he wanted to say, but chifuyu had a habit of saying things he didn’t mean to.
baji keisuke only stared at him dryly, with an upturn of his lips. and, why was he looking at him like he was the dumbest person on earth?
“that’s my mom.”
so dry.
“eh?”
baji said louder. “that’s my mama, my mom, mother, the woman who birthed me.”
“i... i didn’t... i thought she was like, eighteen? how does she look so young?” and as chifuyu deflated slightly, ever so confused, baji's smirk faltered.
dry,
and quiet,
and loud.
“she’s nineteen.”
and couldn’t chifuyu think before he speaks?
when he and keisuke were situated on the couch, honey and mint drinks in their hands courtesy of y/n, the woman poked her head into the living room.
“ohhhh~ chifuyu-chan, are you helping keisuke study?” so bright a grin danced on her lips.
chifuyu's head swayed.
“yeah! he’s really smart! and he helped me write my letter to kazutora, see?” chifuyu caught keisuke standing up from the corner of his eyes.
“keisuke, sit down. you just started studying!!” with her puppy eyes, pouty lips and pleading expression, chifuyu realized what keisuke had earlier. “i promise i will take it with me, but please don’t get distracted?”
chifuyu had a crush.
he couldn’t help it though,
she was too precious.
“i'm sorry.” keisuke apologized, and chifuyu wonders, how often does a guy like him apologise? he noticed, baji's posture looked the same as earlier; turned gaze, abashed blush, whispering voice. “i just, really really want to make you proud.”
both of them were too precious.
the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, after all,
right?
“hey, baji-san, isn’t it confusing calling both you and your mom ‘baji-san'?” chifuyu brought up once.
“huh?” keisuke dumbly asked back as he looked up from his plans on how to burn a car and get away with it stealthily. he did not want his mom to lecture him again. “you can call her mom if you want to.”
“huh??!!” chifuyu shrieked.
“she likes it when my friends call her mom. also, i never realized you sound like a squeaky mouse so much.”
chifuyu deliberately ignored the second statement.
“but—"
“you’re not dropping the formalities for either of us, so its either that or nothing.”
when keisuke went to the bathroom, chifuyu genuinely tried.
genuinely,
tried.
“hey, uhh... m...” when baji-san raised her head up from her college books to address him, his pants unbearably became skin-tight, and he could almost feel his piss staining him. yeah, no, he takes it back. “baji-san, could you teach me how to make peyoung yakisoba?”
because no matter how hard chifuyu tried, his attempt never turned out as good as theirs.
it was probably in the genes.
“sure, fuyu baby <3”
chifuyu had a mom,
and even if he wasn’t as close with her because of her work, she was still his mother.
he couldn’t just replace her like that.
he couldn’t just spit on her hard work and go around calling another person his mama.
chifuyu was a respectful man.
safe to say, both of them stayed as baji-san.
and safe to say, he was too flustered to learn how to cook the yakisoba.
on a sunny day, as he and keisuke laid on the grass, on their downtime from their all-time high, he voiced out a question that had been bugging him at the back of his mind for a while now.
“say, i... i know it’s not my place to ask but i care about you and i know baji-san doesn’t get any suitors and i know she wants to have a romantic relationship and i want to ask if you know you’re not to blame and its not your fault?” chifuyu word-vomited in his panic as a large blush coated his features.
that's not what he wanted to say.
he wasn’t even sure if keisuke heard him from the jumbled mess, but he wasn’t about to repeat such things,
he was a shy baby, okay?
“huh? of course i know it’s not my fault.” keisuke said. “she had a fiancé once, and he accepted everything that comes with their marriage.”
chifuyu’s hair ruffled in the wind,
and that was perhaps the only time he didn’t see baji.
“what happened to him?” he murmured.
he never got a reply.
as the sun set down, keisuke spoke up once again.
“y'know. i figured out who my father is.”
the silence that befell them was broken by the cracking of chifuyu's neck. he groaned; he didn’t mean to snap his head that fast.
baji laughed boisterously, but chifuyu took no offence.
“your mom told you?”
“hm? of course not. i wouldn’t ask her something like that.”
“then how did you figure it out?”
chifuyu wasn’t as observant as keisuke, but he still was, compared to anyone else.
because he already knew the answer.
“i asked for a DNA test.”
because chifuyu already understood who keisuke’s father was.
“i see.”
because when no one can understand baji,
chifuyu was always there to explain.
with the changing of the seasons, chifuyu found himself at the baji household for their weekly hair-care home-session.
chifuyu placed the masks on keisuke's curls, keisuke cared for his mother’s hair, and y/n-san did chifuyu's.
warm.
when the doorbell rang, they all halted. question marks, as visible as the air surrounding them, hanged around their heads.
and as both boys looked at baji-san's home attire, they nodded to each other.
keisuke went to open the door with a spatula as a makeshift weapon—as if his fists weren't destructive enough—and chifuyu spread his arms, puffed his chest, and hid y/n behind him.
the question marks disappeared when they found mikey and draken at the doorsteps.
the air vibrated around him.
nah, it was just y/n waving excitedly to the boys.
“manjiro!! ken!! come join us?”
“draken!! draken!! they’re having a hair day!”
“i can see that, mikey.”
chifuyu beamed.
keisuke let them in, and mikey jumped avidly in his place as he took out his phone.
“emma! y/n-san is having a hair day at her house!! come quick; you’re missing out on so much fun—” mikey grinned, when the doorbell rang again.
warm.
chifuyu literally heard emma's squeal in the phone, even from the distance between him and her brother.
chifuyu's lips formed an ‘O’,
mikey called emma so that the ratio of boys to girls wasn’t so awkward;
so that y/n-san doesn’t get uncomfortable.
mikey was a gentle person, even if he led a gang as big as toman.
“mitsuya?” keisuke looked down at the two girls beside him, a fanged smile crossed his face as he hid the spatula behind his back. “and luna and mana.”
“the vampire man.” chifuyu snorted at luna's statement to her sister.
“this looks too chaotic.” mitsuya mumbled under his breath.
turns out, mitsuya wanted y/n to babysit his sisters because he had errands to run.
yeah, no, he was forced to stay for the hair day—mikey's orders—and emma arrived barely ten minutes after.
chifuyu's hand clenched at the band of his shirt. his heart beat erratically, and his smile broke his jawbone.
but he was happy.
he discovered it was a routine for emma to braid draken's hair, and draken to style mikey's.
keisuke washed emma’s tresses, y/n-san helped mitsuya, mikey insisted on taking care of luna's because he wanted to play with her shiny locks, and chifuyu ended up with mana as he applied the products to her head.
“we should call the kawata twins.” mikey offered.
keisuke swiped the phone from his hands. “no thanks, smiley is a piece of disrespectful and chaotic menacing shit. he’s not allowed to meet my mom.”
“look who’s talking.”
chifuyu blinked. since when did keisuke know all those arguably complicated-for-him words?
chifuyu was happy.
chifuyu wasn’t happy for long.
the peyoung yakisoba lost its spice, lost its sweetness and lost its savoury taste.
bile rose in his throat, as he leaned over the sidewalk and threw up.
his shoulders shook, and he stayed down even as all he could do was heave. the saltiness of his tears and the acidity of his vomit mixed together disgustingly.
it was evening by the time he stood up.
and it was night when he realized he was in front of baji's home.
no keisuke this time,
and no takemitchy.
alone.
chifuyu swallowed his saliva, gulping it down viciously.
he did not want to cry.
he rang the doorbell.
too familiar.
too warm?
no,
too cold.
he blinked, when he noticed his surroundings suddenly became red, as a feline ball of fur wrapped itself around his legs.
when had y/n opened the door? when had she let him in? when did she take the uncooked peyoung yakisoba from him?
he blinked twice, as he watched the woman move around sluggishly in the kitchen. he eased himself from the kitten’s hold and handed baji-san the condiments,
and,
what was he doing here?
chifuyu knew why the kitten was here. y/n was paranoid of cats and dogs, so him and keisuke would steal each and every kitten they found and bring them to y/n to play,
because baji didn’t want his mom to be afraid.
so he knew why the kitten was here,
and he knew why y/n-san was here—it was her home,
but, chifuyu didn’t know why he was.
why was chifuyu here?
he blinked thrice. he was sitting on the couch, with the noodles and the chopsticks in his hands. he dipped it into the sauce, but he didn’t eat it.
“fuyu? it’s ok if you want me to cook the yakisoba for you.” why was she so blurry? why was she appearing and disappearing so rapidly? why was she so close to the ground, and then, the next moment, standing so upright? “i don’t mind. i know keisuke always cooked it for the both of you.”
oh.
chifuyu was crying,
that’s why.
he sniffed.
“thank you.” he muttered under his breath, looking away from her. his throat ached and clenched, and he hurriedly stuffed the food in his mouth.
he didn’t want to cry.
“do... do you want a hug?” chifuyu choked, his hands dropping the chopsticks and wrapping itself around his throat.
what does he vomit, if there was nothing in him?
he realized then,
no one comforted him after baji's death.
and as his mind recalled how mikey broke down with her in his arms in the hospital,
he realized,
mikey wasn't comforting her;
she was comforting him.
and he realized,
neither did anyone give her a hug after keisuke's death.
chifuyu placed the cup on the coffee table, as he replied,
“please?”
and he knew she saw his tears.
and he noticed,
she was crying too.
she wasn’t offering to hug him because he was crying.
she offered, because she wanted a hug,
and so did he.
after he left the baji household, chifuyu ended back in front of keisuke's grave.
“baji-san, it’s just like when we first met.” he gazed down at the box in front of him. “i brought you some, just like i promised... half’s for you.”
silence greeted him, but chifuyu continued.
“saying ‘thank you', that’s not fucking fair.” tears streamed down his face, and his shoulders shook as heavily as he breathed. he clenched and unclenched his fists, and his teeth clattered against each other.
he does not want to cry.
“what am i supposed to do, from now on?”
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