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James's Special Delivery: Tab A Plus Slot B Equals Kitten (part two of three)

There is a three-sentence sex scene in this. It's three sentences too long and it's also too short.

If you're going to write James/Meowth slashfic, you'd better go all in on it.

Part one

This fic contains:  Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; unexplained mpreg/male pregnancy; shaky grasp of the realities of pregnancy and childrearing; lack of medical and scientific knowledge; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; odd ideas about romance; Dr. Fuji is miraculously alive somehow; ridiculously easy resolutions to problems; attempts to rehabilitate James's mother (she totally approved of Jessiebelle's bullshit she deserves no mercy); divorce; IKEA erotica that's somehow way too graphic and under described at the same time; dialogue that can't decide if it wants to be humorous or suspenseful

-O-o-O-o-O-

Meanwhile, back at James’s hometown, his parents were getting a divorce.

“I’m tired of the way you’re treating our son!” yelled Bethany Morgan, James’s mother.

“That boy is just hopeless. He won’t marry a proper citizen like Jessiebelle. He’s even dating a talking Meowth who used to be a criminal. How disgraceful!” Jacob Morgan, James’s father, yelled.

“This is the year 2002. Things are changing. Besides, he’s really in love with him. Maybe he ran away because of you. You drove James away, both you and Jessiebelle.”

“How dare you talk back to me!”

“Someone has to. I want a divorce.”

So Bethany and Jacob got a divorce. Since Bethany was rich before she married Jacob, she didn’t end up in the poorhouse. Both of them took only what they brought into the marriage.

Bethany was happy. She was free to visit her son and write to him without drama.

-O-o-O-

James looked at the pill in his hand.

“Am I really sure I want to do this?” he thought.

James decided he was ready and he would’ve done this sooner or later. It might as well be sooner.

He swallowed the pill.

-O-o-O-

That night, James and Meowth did it.

James felt very invigorated by Meowth’s thrusting. Meowth loved James with all his heart and put his love in every thrust.

Needless to say, both of them were very happy (as well as tired) when they went to sleep.

-O-o-O-

The next morning, James woke up feeling nauseated. He ran into the bathroom and started vomiting.

Meowth realized James wasn’t in bed with him and woke up. He went into the bathroom. James was kneeling with his head in the toilet.

“James, what’s wrong? Why are you vomiting?” he asked.

“I think I’m pregnant,” James said.

Meowth took James to the doctors at the lab. Sure enough, James was right.

-O-o-O-

After eating just bland food and resting, James thought he’d gotten over his morning sickness in three days.

But morning sickness was the least of their problems.

“How are we going to tell Jessie?” James asked Meowth.

“Let’s tell her in the most subtle way possible,” Meowth said.

That day, after Jessie came back from the anger management sessions, they tried to be subtle when telling her about the experiment.

“Jessie….The experiment worked,” Meowth said.

“What experiment?”

“James is….er….‘fertile.’”

“What are you talking about?”

James, who was sitting next to Meowth, was massaging his temples. This was going to take a long time.

Jessie was getting impatient. “What. Is. Wrong. With. JAMES?!” she screamed.

“JAMES IS GONNA HAVE A KITTEN, OKAY?!” Meowth yelled.

“Why didn’t you just say you wanted to catch another Meowth?” Jessie said.

“Not like that,” James whispered.

“Then, like what?”

James whispered in her ear.

“What?”

James whispered it again.

“WILL YOU STOP BEING SO DAMN VAGUE?” Jessie yelled.

“I’M PREGNANT WITH MEOWTH’S KITTEN, OKAY?” James finally yelled.

“Freaking finally.” Then she realized what he said. “You’re what?!”

“It was an experiment,” James said. “Dr. Fuji made us do it for Team Rocket.”

“And we love each other,” Meowth said.

“Okay.”

“That’s it?!”

“Yeah, I don’t really have a problem with that.”

“Oh.”

James and Meowth went into the bedroom. They had gotten lucky.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Lusting and thrusting leads to tin roofs rusting.

this is becoming a strange recurrence

Spicy blueshipping haiku below the cut. Warning: it gets way too realistic about what experiences mpreg might entail.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Meowth loves round things.

James is pregnant and randy.

You can do the math.

-O-o-O-

Their white tomorrow:

Meowth is filling James up

Like a cream pastry.

-O-o-O-

Weezing's Sludge attack

Compares not to the might of

James, font of vomit.

-O-o-O-

James puked on himself.

"This shade is not my color;

Clashes with my hair."

-O-o-O-

The queen has cravings.

Chocolate-basted tuna.

Also beef jerky.

-O-o-O-

The queen's belly swells

Over the course of nine weeks.

Kittens incoming.

-O-o-O-

Wispy lightning bolts

Caress the queen's omphalos.

The cat nestles close.

-O-o-O-

Nourishing white pearls

Drip from James's tender teats.

The queen feeds their spawn.

-O-o-O-

can these even be called haiku anymore or are they a disgrace

Do you think Satan stays in Hell because Earth's too cursed, even for him?

the goal is: create the most cursed poll and highlight why proper sexual education is necessary

if this ship sinks, i won't blame the mermaids for eating my fingers off

I may have blueshipped too close to the vortex. Now I'm spiraling in a whirlpool of horny Gyarados and the submarine really isn't helping matters.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Meowth was a sucker for round things. In his gravid state, James fit the description to a “T.”

He gazed across the bed. James was laid out on his back, the moonlight from the window falling on the rise of his kitten bump. His hair fanned out over the pillow like so much blue silk. A slender hand nestled against his lower belly. A moon-pale, delicate foot poked out from under the sheets.

He let his eyes rest on that foot, with its finely shaped arch and soft toes. James often complained about the appearance of his swollen feet, but Meowth saw things differently. The few harsh angles were softened, emphasizing the smoothness of James’s skin. But maybe he was just so attracted to James, it didn’t matter what his feet looked like.

Meowth remembered the experiment that started this whole thing. They’d been asked by Team Rocket labs to participate in a special breeding experiment to determine if humans and Pokémon could interbreed. Since their team wasn’t exactly bringing in the powerful Pokémon, the higher-ups figured they could at least be useful as test subjects.

The fact that Meowth and James had already started a Pokébestial relationship was merely a bonus.

He let his mind drift back to their first breeding attempt. His Jimmy had been a virgin before the relationship, but he learned quick (at least when it came to sex). Within a few tries, Meowth had him squealing so loud, they probably woke the whole forest. Jessie invested in a comfortable set of earplugs after the first few times.

Meowth could hear the falsetto moan James had let out when he slid into him. He could almost get drunk on the memory of that potent perfume of roses, Victreebel saliva, and human pheromones that made up James’s signature scent. As James rolled his hips, the sides of his entrance caressed Meowth’s dick in a warm, wet embrace.

He remembered how James had gripped the sheets as he plunged deeper. James was panting like he’d pedaled the Magikarp sub around the entire Orange Archipelago. The pheromones radiated from hair as blue and wet as any ocean while Meowth plumbed James’s depths.

“Blast me off, Meowth,” James was moaning. “Blast me sky high so I can fall pregnant back to earth!”

So Meowth just started blasting.

That seemed to send James into orbit. His eyelashes fluttered and he twitched all over like he was getting shocked by Pikachu. Meowth vaguely remembered James biting the back of his fingers, as if he needed to balance the pleasure with pain. Meowth couldn’t be sure that was what was happening, though. He was wrapped up in his own climax as he planted his seed in James.

In that moment, he understood completely why Victreebel always wanted a taste of James. The smells coming off of James were sweeter than any Sweet Scent he’d faced in battle (not that he’d been in many battles; Meowth considered himself a different kind of Pokémon).

The scent reminded Meowth that it was now his cue to grab James’s dick and roll it between his paws. Gently, of course—his Jimmy was very sensitive. Just a few swivels were enough to push him over the edge.

Cats excelled at pushing things over the edge.

James’s rocket blasted off spectacularly. The ropes shot out like he’d just deployed a Poké-napping net. By the time he was spent, it looked like a Spinarak shot web across his stomach.

Meowth fell into the spot beside James as both of them basked in the afterglow. Meowth was purring. James was purring. Meowth grabbed James’s hand in his paw. James let out a barely audible sigh.

After they’d calmed down a bit, James had looked down at his stomach. “I made such a mess,” he said in mock remorse.

Meowth had rolled over to watch James clenchingly make his way to the bathroom. He didn’t know why, but he fixated on the pearls of jism rolling down James’s thigh. Probably because they, too, were round. Meowth was always a sucker for round things.

Over the next few weeks, it took them a few more tries, but eventually Meowth knocked James up. And here they were now.

Meowth was brought out of his reverie by a soft yawn. James shifted in his sleep, then opened his eyes and gave Meowth a smoldering half-smile. The half-mast eyelids and pheromone cocktail fanned the two green flames.

His Jimmy was rustled.

-O-o-O-

The heat was rising within James. The urge was upon him again.

James knew he wasn’t really in heat, of course. He was still pregnant, and humans didn’t go into heat, anyway. But as of late, he’d been feeling as though he might start caterwauling if Meowth didn’t stick him right then and there.

Ever since James had entered the latter weeks of his pregnancy, his hormones had been driving him mad. He and Meowth hadn’t copulated since it started and James had discovered quickly that certain desires did not wane, even after they’d served their purpose. His libido was somewhat dampened in the early stages, however. It was hard to get in the mood when one was virtually a vomit fountain.

Fortunately for him, his morning sickness subsided as the gestation wore on. Now his only issue was that he was too sleepy to think about sex.

No…. That wasn’t quite right. James had enjoyed a number of erotic dreams over the past few weeks. They ran the gamut from simple but sweet (James, clapping his buttocks on Meowth’s cock in a sort of anal applause) to stimulating and steamy.

One such fantasy transpired thus. James had washed up, sans raiment, on an unknown shore. The population appeared to consist entirely of tiny talking Meowths. Their Lilliputian leader was a hot air balloonist and announced that he wished to welcome the nude giant. He climbed into a hot air balloon with a phallus affixed to the basket. Just as he was about to dock it in the cave on James’s backside, a tidal wave sprang up from the ocean. James had woken up drenched in sweat. He also needed to change the sheets.

Another saw him as a fiery Moltres, soaring high above the earth. Meowth bounded after him in hot pursuit. James swooped down, flames trailing behind, and landed in a circle of flaming stones. There, he waited and watched as Meowth caught up to him. Meowth marched right into the ring of fire, the words “I am the unburnt,” on his lips. He rode James the Moltres, but not through the sky. James woke from that one feeling very flaming indeed.

Yet another flight of fancy put him in a hall of mirrors in front of a Jack-in-the-Box. Though the reflections were distorted, James could make out that he was sporting pigtails and a clown nose. In place of a crank, the Jack-in-the-Box bore a perfect replica of Meowth’s penis. James instinctively knew to massage the penis on the box. Out popped Meowth, dressed in a harlequin print jester costume. 

At that point in the dream, James’s nipples began to throb; he looked down and saw that they had transformed into bright red orbs, a funhouse mirror image of his clown nose. Meowth seemed intrigued by this; he put his paws on James’s nipples and gently squeezed. Each squeeze produced a honking sound and an arc of milk that Meowth caught in his mouth. James’s nethers were a flower squirting a liquid that was decidedly not seltzer. James awakened from that one with a tent in his pajamas and his teats tender and leaking.

He also had a craving for cream pie and Meowth was the only chef with the recipe.

Back in the present, James felt a flush rise on his face. He was hit by a sudden rush of shame at his loss of mental control, their failure to capture Pikachu, even his dreadful lack of sexual knowledge before the experiment. Meowth practically had to explain sex to him, since his parents hadn’t seen fit to. So many shames; it rhymed with James.

Meowth must have read it on his face. “No, Jimmy,” he said, placing a comforting set of paws on James’s shoulders. “It’s okay. You got needs, too.” Meowth’s voice was gentle, but James could hear undertones of reciprocal rut. The timing was perfect.

“I need you, Meowth. Right now.”

James didn’t need to ask twice. Meowth helped him out of his pajamas—no easy feat, considering how swollen James was at the moment, even with the lubricious luster his lust did muster. Verily, the sweat might have hindered Meowth’s removal of James’s clothing. Waiting only made James more randy. In his delirium, he found himself half whispering, half chanting, “Come, kitty. Come, kitty.”

Meowth chuckled. “We’ll get dere, Jimmy. Don’t getcha panties in a knot.”

“Growlithes have knots,” James thought. “But Meowth has a French tickler dick.” He’d learnt that the first time they coupled. He wondered if Meowth could control each individual nodule, like a Tentacruel and its tentacles. He could never quite remember to ask.

He couldn’t very well ask with Meowth’s lips pressing against his. And as soon as Meowth’s musk wafted into his nose, he forgot completely. The human sense of smell was not as strong as a Meowth’s, but the pregnancy hormones had sharpened James’s nose. Notes of catnip stood out in a scent stream sweeter than that tree sap Victreebel and Heracross loved.

“Like da taste?” Meowth asked, lapping at James’s chin.

“Yes,” James breathed. Baked tuna: James had cooked it for their dinner that evening.

Meowth worked his way down, giving ample attention to James’s nipples. No honking resulted; the only sounds were Meowth’s sucking and James’s low moaning as Meowth’s tongue nodules dandled James's dugs.

“Like the taste?” James drawled.

Meowth grinned. “Your milk’s comin’ in early.”

Meowth moved ever southward, brushing over the great dome that housed their five kittens. James giggled as Meowth rubbed himself all over the sensitive swelling.

“Oh, James, you’re so round.” Meowth swirled his tail around James’s sides. He tongued James’s navel, the nodules tracing the feathery white stretch marks.

James barely heard him. “Goodness gracious….”

“You ain’t seen nuttin’ yet.” Meowth slid himself into James’s crotch. He lifted James’s penis and nudged a feline finger into the orifice beneath. Those kitty beans on his pork sword were getting James nice and marinated.

Meowth noticed instantly. “You’re soaked. Lucky for you, I love dis kinda wet.”

Meowth dove in headfirst. James let out a cry of pleasure as he felt the nodules on his inner walls. He rolled his hips as much as his condition would allow. Meowth gyrated his own hips, causing his penis to stir inside of James like a spoon in cake batter. James kegeled on Meowth’s cock. Would that he had grippers in his nethers; he could massage every node on Meowth’s dick.

Meowth threw his head back, his whiskers fanning around his face. “I’m comin’, Jimmy!” he declared to the stars above. “I think it’s time!” His tail whipped around like a helicopter’s blade.

James was too far-gone to stay quiet. “Fill me with your white tomorrow!” he cried.

Meowth filled James like a cream pastry. James nipped at the back of his forefinger joints. It did little to curb his enthusiasm. He hoped Jessie’s earplugs held up.

But, oh. Oh no. His own cannoli was about to go explody. He’d forgotten to put on protection; he’d have such a mess to clean up and, in his state, he didn’t know if he’d have the energy.

Meowth seemed to notice his mild distress. “Don’t worry, Jimmy. I gotcha.” He pulled out of James and disappeared below the bump.

“Bless him,” James thought, tears misting his eyes. “He’s going to save me the cleanup.” 

Meowth closed his mouth around James’s penis and commenced the fellatio. He was always such a sucker for round things.

-O-o-O-o-O-

*puts on clown nose, walks plank, lands in James and Meowth's sex sweat* TONIGHT WE DINE ON DOVE

my faves when they try to break the fourth wall in my e rated slashfic

Brotherly Love: All Three Warner Siblings Have Questionable Taste in Men (part three of seven)

Might as well release more of that old Yakko x Wakko fic into the world.

₮ⱧɆ ₩ØⱤⱠĐ ₭₦Ø₩₴ ₩Ⱨ₳₮ ł₮ гР₮Ø ĐɆ₴ɆⱤVɆ ₮Ⱨł₴

Part one is here. Part two is here.

DEAD GOODFEATHERS DO NOT EAT

Content Warning: Consensual romantic relationship between two siblings; aged-up characters; questionable knowledge of psychology; godsawful usage of mid-noughties slang; citrus scale: lime (adult fun-time happens, but is not shown); however, the lead-up to the adult fun-time is described in detail; big emotions, including: *extremely Gonzo voice* GUILT and *extremely Septa Unella voice* SHAME SHAME SHAME (ding ding); animane-y, totally insane-y, Dot is slut-shame-y

-O-o-O-o-O-

For the next few days, the Warner brothers kept their romance on the D.L. Even when Dot was not in the room or asleep, they refrained from attempting to get in a quick kiss or cuddle.

However, the more they tried to hide it, the harder it got. Yakko wasn’t sure he could keep himself from giving Wakko seductive winks from across the room. Wakko wasn’t sure if he could keep himself from flat out glomping Yakko.

One day, Dot exclaimed, “There’s a Mel Gibson lovers’ convention this weekend!”

They were all sitting at the table, eating pizza for dinner. When Dot turned to look at the calendar, Wakko couldn’t help himself. He snuck a quick kiss on Yakko’s nose, then went back to devouring his pizza (and the box) long before Dot turned around again.

“I’ll definitely have to go to that,” Dot continued. “It starts on Friday and lasts until Monday.” She turned to her brothers. “Think you can survive without me for four days?”

Yakko and Wakko looked at each other. Four days….With nobody but themselves around.

“It’ll be tough, but I think we’ll manage,” Yakko said. “We wouldn’t want to keep you from your ‘future husband.’” He twiddled his fingers to add air quotes.

Dot playfully flicked Yakko’s nose. “A girl can dream, can’t she?” she said with a smile, then went to pack.

When Yakko was sure she was gone, he gently touched Wakko’s hand. “We’ll have the tower to ourselves for four whole days. Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Way ahead of you,” Wakko responded.

The next night, Friday, Dot left for the convention with Hello Nurse, who was also a fan. There weren’t any waterworks, but it still felt weird for the siblings, as they had never really been separated before.

However, Yakko and Wakko didn’t let the (very) slight separation anxiety get them down for long. First, they took their bath—with no interruptions and plenty more kissing.

That night, they sat together on Yakko’s bunk. They didn’t cuddle, they just sat in silence, enjoying the mere fact that they were alone together. It was almost as if they were waiting to see how long they could last without physical contact—or waiting for something to interrupt them just as it was getting good.

They weren’t waiting long, because after a few minutes, the brothers sprang up and went at each other more vigorously than they had before. Yakko ran his hands over Wakko’s ears, kissing his head as Wakko pulled Yakko on top of himself, licking Yakko’s neck as he moved.

Yakko began to get really into it. He eventually began to work his hands down Wakko’s body. He caressed the blue-clad arms, wishing he could touch the actual flesh. Wakko had moved south to kissing Yakko’s chest.

Yakko worked his way down until he got to Wakko’s waist. He suddenly stopped. Did he really want to undress his little brother? Was this really the right thing to do?

Wakko looked up at Yakko, puzzled. “Why’d you stop? It was getting really good.”

Yakko backed off, then sat back on his feet. “I think I got into it too much.”

“What do you mean?”

“I lost myself in the moment. I….I wanted to touch your body, and not just through your clothing, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do.”

Wakko lay in front of Yakko a few seconds longer, then took off his shirt. Yakko could almost feel a certain area in his pants start to grow. He looked down and realized that the protrusion was not, in fact, baloney in his slacks.

Wakko looked at Yakko’s crotch, then back up at Yakko. “We can take care of that.”

“That’s all well and good that you feel the same, but if we do this now, there’ll be no turning back. We’ll be up to our necks in the type of situation only allowed if our names were Ptolemy,” Yakko said, trying desperately to get it down. It wasn’t working. Wakko was being so calm, it was scary.

“Do I get to be Ptolemy I or do I have to play Ptolemy II?” Wakko asked. “Anyway, I don’t want to go back.”

“And we’re basically kids! I mean, we’re not really kids, seeing as how we’ve been around since the ‘30s, but we don’t exactly age normally, so we’ll always be forever young,” Yakko started rambling again.

Wakko sat up, his tail working its way up Yakko’s body.

“And what if you don’t like it? I mean, I’ll probably be fine, but what if we’re just not ready to go this far? It’ll be like I’m rap—”

Yakko was cut off by Wakko giving him a long sultry kiss, using that incredible tongue of his.

“I’m ready. You wouldn’t be raping me, we’re technically both adults, I don’t care if you’re my brother, and nobody’s going to find out. Really, Yakko, it’s going to be okay. Now please,” Wakko’s voice shook slightly, “just give it to me.”

Yakko felt a slight pressing on his leg. It took him a while to realize that that wasn’t Wakko’s tail.

He looked back at Wakko. He could see the longing in his eyes. He began to wonder how long he’d felt this way. Was he feeling this way longer than Yakko had? How much longer?

“You’ve felt this way for much longer than I have, haven’t you?” Yakko found himself asking. “You’ve had to hide it all this time.”

Wakko looked away. “You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you? You think I’m disgusting.”

“No, I don’t. I just didn’t want to do something that might hurt you,” Yakko soothed, putting his hands on Wakko’s naked shoulders. “But clearly not doing this now would be detrimental to your sanity.”

Wakko grinned up at Yakko. “I have no sanity.”

“Which is why I’m concerned. It’s illegal to do the horizontal hokey-pokey with a crazy person,” Yakko said.

“You’re not exactly sane yourself.”

“Right you are, little brother.”

And with that, Wakko proceeded to show Yakko just how insane he could get.

-O-o-O-

Dot entered the dark water tower as quietly as possibly, in case her brothers were asleep.

The convention hadn’t been as fun as she’d thought it would be. Sure, Mel Gibson was there, but with the huge lines of people, one could barely get five seconds with the guy. Then he had to leave early to work on another movie—something about “passion.”

“Speaking of passion,” Dot thought, taking out her newly autographed photo of Mel Gibson, “I wonder where I could put this up. I’m running out of room over my bed.”

Dot shrugged, put the picture back in its folder, then continued to her room. “I’ll figure it out later.”

As she was putting her things away, she noticed Yakko and Wakko in the same bunk again. Wakko was snuggled up against Yakko, surprisingly not wearing his red cap.

“Well, that’s a first. He never takes that thing off,” Dot thought.

Just like the other night, Yakko had his arm around Wakko in the same protective manner.

“Wakko seems to be having a lot of nightmares lately,” Dot thought, climbing onto her bunk. “I wonder what he and Yakko have been watching while I was gone.”

Had Dot looked more closely, she would have noticed that both Yakko and Wakko were naked.

-O-o-O-

The next morning, Yakko didn’t get to watch Wakko sleeping at all, because Wakko woke up first.

Wakko stared up at his sleeping brother, his eyes travelling up and down the arm around his own body. He smiled just as lovingly as Yakko had when he was in this situation, only Wakko’s smile was more dopey due to his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth.

He was deeply in love with his older brother. He’d still be in love with Yakko even if they weren’t doing all these fun things together. But Wakko needed to get physical with Yakko. He’d never been much for words, but if he could show Yakko how much he loved him, his message would get through.

He felt the arm under him stir as Yakko began to wake up.

Yakko carefully moved his arm so he could prop himself and look at Wakko. “So, about last night,” he started with a grin.

“Was I good?” Wakko asked hopefully.

“Good? You were wonderful! I don’t really have any idea of how it should have gone, but I don’t care! The nipple-honking was a nice touch, too.” Yakko moved in closer.

Wakko moved even closer to Yakko. “Are you up for another round?”

“When do you want it?” Yakko took his brother into his arms.

Dot was in the bathroom, going about her cuteness routine. This involved showering, washing her hair, blow-drying and combing, a blood sacrifice to Venus, and brushing her teeth before finally picking an outfit and flower scrunchie.

Just as she was about to get into the shower, she realized she’d forgotten her blow-dryer in the bedroom. She could always get it after her shower, but then her hair would drip all over the floor and leave a wet trail, and they had a house rule about no pratfalls before 10:00 AM.

“I’d better get it now.” She headed to the bedroom.

When she arrived at the door, she sensed she should stop. She stopped and heard Yakko and Wakko talking through the partially opened door.

She peeked through the crack and saw Wakko standing, stark naked, in front of Yakko. And Yakko didn’t seem as freaked out as he had the last time Wakko stood around naked. In fact, he looked like he liked it.

“Is it hot in here or is it just me?” Yakko was saying, fanning himself, supposedly at Wakko.

“It’s both of us.” To Dot’s shock, Wakko’s voice had taken on a sultry tone.

Then Wakko went over to Yakko and began to kiss him—on the lips.

Dot watched in horror as Yakko picked Wakko up and put him on the bed, while Wakko had his hands firmly around Yakko’s waist. By the looks on their faces and the movement of their mouths, she could tell that Wakko’s tongue had decided to pay Yakko’s mouth a visit.

Dot turned away from the door. She couldn’t go in there now. She couldn’t even think of what to say.

“What the hell was that?!” Dot thought. “Yakko and Wakko—disgusting! How could they do such a thing?! I thought Yakko knew better than that! And Wakko’s pretty gross, but even that’s nasty for him!”

Dot wanted to kick the door down and yell at them, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. “I don’t even know what to say to them, I’m so angry. I can’t even bear to look at them right now.”

Dot ran back to the bathroom to take a nice long shower.

-O-o-O-

Wakko sat in the kitchen, in his pajamas.

Shortly after they’d finished kissing, Yakko went out to get the paper. Wakko spent time finding his cap (it’d fallen under the bed the night before) and made the bed, something he rarely did.

Whe he finished, he went to brush his teeth, but the bathroom was occupied. He’d figured Yakko had gotten the paper and needed to go, so he decided to eat first, since he was pretty hungry.

They had forgotten to buy cereal, so Wakko found a box of ramen noodles and nuked them (in the microwave, not with a literal nuclear weapon).

He was about halfway finished when a half-soaked figure marched into the kitchen.

It was Dot.

“You tongue-sucking harlot!” Dot screamed. She’d been unable to quit thinking about her brothers and as she showered, she’d only gotten angrier.

“How could you do that with Yakko?! Don’t you have any decency?! He’s your goddamn brother, for Pete’s sake! You just seduced him like some twopence trollop! Do you even understand what you’ve done? You don’t, do you?! I thought you were just gross, but now I know you’re an incestuous WHORE!” Dot shouted. She’d never been so angry at her brothers in her life.

There was silence as she caught her breath and Wakko stared at her with a look of absolute terror on his face.

“And you’re not a college student, so why are you eating ramen for breakfast?!” Dot hollered before stomping out of the room.

-O-o-O-o-O-

And the moral of today's story is: If you catch your brothers making out with each other, take a shower, but be careful not to drip water everywhere. Safety is important.

adding to this idea:

Dark Pinky and Snowball get all citrus scale and Dark Pinky insists on doing the horizontal do-si-do to the Hamsterdance.

am I the only one who doesn't know what the heck the citrus scale is and is getting very confused as to why a fruit is suddenly trending in the tags ??

NSFW will be tagged as #lemon sorta NSFW is #Lime Weird fet shit/ extreme NSFW is #orange reblog to spread awareness that we’re back on the citrus scale

Y'all THIS is the official citrus scale. Don’t be tagging adult content as oranges when you mean grapefruit. Do it right or don’t do it at all, my dudes.

Edit: Make sure you still tag it as fanfiction, and if it’s above a lime, tag as #nsfs or #nsfsw as well because those are the preexisting adult tags. Make it filterable.