Black Widow X You - Tumblr Posts

“ Baby, it's 3:00 am ”

PAIRING—natasha romanoff x fem!reader

SUMMARY—A night out with Natasha will never not be a thing you need

WARNINGS—established relationship, pure fluff, non-sexual nudity (skinny-dipping), avenger!reader w/ powers connected to light, Natasha being absolutely in love

A/N—I'm just so gay for Natalia Alianovna Romanova

" really? what are you Rogers 2.0? " Natasha teased seeing you assault the punching bag, throwing continued punches with no plan on stopping.

" it's efficient in getting my feelings out, Natty " You answered back, not stopping your punches even as you feel the numbness of your knuckles and the ache on your legs as you've been at the gym for approximately two hours now.

" I wake up expecting to find you beside me, detka " responded Natasha, tilting her at your obviously stressed form.

" I'm fine " 

" you're not fine " 

" ... I—I'm not fine " you replied defeatedly, not continuing to your punch as you lean against the punching bag, knowing your girlfriend knew you all too well. Feeling tired and sweaty, you drop down on the gym floor, calming down your breathing as you feel the need for a cold beverage. 

Natasha, in the perfect moment really did know you all too well, that you'd need a cold drink to soothe your thirst. She knew your habit, similar to the blonde supersoldier who used working out as an outlet for stress. She smiles as she sees your wide grin, feeling the cold can of cola she placed on your neck.

You smile at each other as her long wavy red hair slightly tickles your face, she looks down from her position, your face covered in sweat yet still finding you absolutely ethereal. You gaze into her beautiful green eyes from above, finding the view of her outlined by the single lamp lit on truly breathtaking. She could take your breath away more than a hundred push ups could ever. 

Natasha and you drank the cold cans of cola while walking along the dark paths of the compound, after you took a quick shower. Accompanied by the little fireworks from your bare hands that serve as light. Even after three years of working with you and two years of being your lover, everything you did will always be fascinating to her. 

You were everything to Natasha, her pillar, her compass that she'd get lost without, and even the freaking sun. The brightest ball of gas could never compare to the brightness you've given in her life, literally and figuratively.

You will always be extraordinarily beautiful in her eyes. You will always be her Солнце (sun).

Natasha stops abruptly making you halt as well, with a wide smile she uses her hands to mimic starting the engines of a motorcycle and lightly saying " chu chu ". You chuckle with how much your girlfriend knows you and laughing lightly at the mischievous grin she had. You knew her just as well as she knew you.

The low whispers of voices can be heard inside the garage as the red head borrows the super soldier's bike.

" Roger's is gonna be so mad at us, this is practically his baby "

" He'll sulk, but he'll be fine " 

" yeahhh, you're the one dealing with his grumpy ass—not me "

" we're just borrowing it, detka "

" tell that to the old man, Natty "

The cold windy air engulfed your body as the two of you rode off to nowhere in particular at 12 AM. You put your hands above as you feel the cold air, a stream of light is produced as you use your powers. A long line of light with little sparkles like glitter but better. Natasha's view from the rear mirror was something straight up from a fairytale, like a dream she'd have when she was a kid.

She could see the light even in your eyes through your open helmet. She hopes she'll never see the sparks in your eyes go out.

She enjoys the calmness of the moment. It felt like it was only you and her right at the very second and she loved that. She wouldn't complain about everyone disappearing if you were with her. Maybe she'd miss Clint but she'd still love being with you without anybody else.

She only ever feels selfish with you, she can't help but not want to share you with the world because your the only person she truly has other than the family you two gained with the Avengers.

Natasha loved everything about you, your looks, your personality, your soft pink lips that felt like the apocalypse when it met hers. She loves every part of you, even the ones you said you hated but nothing about you would she ever hate.

How could she ever hate such a beautiful woman such as yourself? and when you don't feel like loving yourself, she'll love you enough for the both of you.

" what do you think? strawberry or oreo flavored ice cream? baby? " you asked, glancing away from the cold treats to not see your girlfriend on the same aisle as you were.

" get them both, oh! get the strawberry with vanilla one instead of pure strawberry " Nat replies while approaching you with a basket filled with candies and chocolates.

" babyyy, you're gonna make me fatter " you sulk playfully as you get both the oreo and strawberry mixed with vanilla tubs of ice cream

" you'd make a good pillow, my love " she says softly as she kisses your cheek, pulling back with a smile as she slaps your ass

" Natasha! " " I love you "

" you can't just say that every time you slap my poor butt ... i love you too " you say grumpily with a playful tone as you peck her lips while still glaring at her green eyes that contained nothing other than pure adoration for you.

" come on detka, let's pay for these " 

" you go first, I'll grab some drinks for us " you say with a quick peck on her cheek as you push her forward 

" Detka, you know coke is not good for you especially since you're acidic which is stupid, seriously? you're an avenger and your weakness is soda and coffee?? " she sternly says ignoring the cute puppy dog eyes you were pulling as you held a set of six cola cans

" that's not gonna work "

" please, Natty? just this once? "

" I already gave you one a while ago "

" that was one and a half hours ago! " you reply with a grumpy face that Natasha finds cute, she sighs knowing she can't ever say no to you.

" fine " she responds defeated by not being able to refuse you as she pulls more money from her wallet and hands it to the elderly woman who's behind the cashier who hides her laugh seeing the cute couple banter.

" I love you, my baby " you say with extra sweetness as you kiss her lips quickly while putting the drinks on the counter

" isn't my girlfriend just the best? " you said gleefully to the elder woman who smiled as she took the beverages you craved, you're never afraid to ever show off your girlfriend to anyone. 

" you're lucky you're cute " Natasha says with a mischievous smile as she takes both your cheeks and lightly pulls them as you groan in annoyance but secretly loving it whenever she squeezes your chubby cheeks.

The elderly woman just smiles widely at the two as she scans the items Natasha paid for.

The couple exit the convenience store but not before saying their farewell to the nice elderly woman who gave them matching ring pops for free. Natasha remembered the beach that was only a couple miles away as the both of you secured your helmets. 

" why not have a picnic at the beach, love? " you ask as you encircle your arms around her torso as she suggested the beach that's only a couple miles from where the two of you were, you relax with the feeling of the air hitting your face as Natasha drives.

Gummy worms and candies were everywhere, from the large jacket you owned that served as an improvised picnic mat to the sand. You laughed as Natasha hit you with another m&m while teasingly saying you were supposed to catch it, fighting back as you hit her right in the face with a long gummy worm.

You smile through the kiss she was giving as you taste the sugar and sourness of the candies you two consumed. Natasha quickly opened the tubs of ice cream for the two of you to eat before it melted. She bought plastic spoons before she went to the cashier 

The peaceful scenery of the ocean waves reflecting the moon and the redhead that rested against your stomach as you supported your upper half using your felt so peaceful, so utterly peaceful and nothing could ever compare to the calmness you were feeling at the very moment. You grinned as you took another spoon of the cold dessert, almost empty as you ate it quickly. 

Natasha silently sucks on one of the ring pops, cherry flavored lollipop that makes her red lips redder and sweeter than it already is. Every lick, you kiss her lips as she smiles with content as the blues of the ring pop you had mixed with flavors of her making a flavorful lilac kiss.

" why — don't — we — take — a small — swim " she says in-between the pecks you gave on her sweet soft lips that tasted like paradise. 

" Baby, it's 3:00 AM " you reply laughing not believing Natasha's plan to go skinny dipping, you already knew she was planning on getting you naked soon enough. You knew her well enough to know she wouldn't just peacefully " swim " with you.

She just smiled as she stood up while unbuttoning the denim shorts she had on and pulling it down. The two discarded their clothes until they were only down to their underwear. You hugged her quickly as you felt the cold air hit your back. The warmth made you smile as the position was very intimate, her soft breasts against yours. 

You looked at her like she hung the moon and stars. The slow glowing of your hands, a proof of what you felt on the inside, mirrored by your abilities that made Natasha smile.

She sometimes had doubts but as she saw your genuine feelings through your transparent self, she could see clearly that you loved her just as much as she loved you. She does insist she loves you more every now and then in which you answer back with “ impossible “.

The two soon enough went to the ocean, staying just a few feet away from dry land, just enough that it felt like the two of you floated away with the waves.

The ocean served as an escape, a few minutes away from everything, saving lives, doing missions. This was just you and her, two lovers taking a swim with the warm ocean waves as the full moon shined brightly framing the two women who are absolutely enamoured with each other.

Masterlist

🔥 Indicates smut

💕 Indicates fluff

🗯 Indicates angst

Outer Banks

Rafe Cameron

Oneshots

Boyfriend!Rafe coming home to you wearing his shirt in bed (Piss kink) 🔥

Dark!Boyfriend!Rafe finds you at a pogue party when you're not supposed to be there. 🗯

Drabbles

Boyfriend!Rafe who loves to drive you around 💕

Cockwarming boyfriend!Rafe in front of his friend🔥

Mcu

Natasha Romanoff

Oneshots

One night only...right? 💕🔥

One night only...right?

In which you and Natasha are on a mission and lose all communication from Shield, forcing you to stay at a motel.

Warnings: Smut, tribbing, fingering, edging, mommy kink, oral f receiving, slight mentions of injury

Words: 2.6k

18+ mdni

"All clear" 

Nat whispers, pressing the earpiece to hear your response. 

"They're heading your way, Romanoff. I see thermal signatures of three." You mumble, looking at the small screen attached to your sleeve. "Stay on comms. I'll come in when you need me to."

Natasha smirks, her eyes flitting to the entrance of the room, waiting for the incoming. Rubbing her lips together, almost hungrily, she mutters...

"I'd like to make you come in other ways sweetheart."

You blush furiously, so glad Natasha couldn't see you right now. Before you could even respond, you heard the voice of the one and only Nick Fury, who was sitting back at base, guiding you through the mission. Your mission was to take down agents from a small organization that had recently popped out of nowhere, following the Hydra framework and belief that SHIELD and the Avengers knew all too well. They were on a mission to recover important information from an old hydra facility. Your job was to get your hands on it first.

"Focus on the mission, Romanoff; you can go back to your y/n fantasies later."

Fury's voice rings in your ears, bringing you back to reality. 

"Oh, I'm sure she wasn't, uh, fantasizing about me. Just an offhand comment, right?" You whispered unsurely, laughing nervously.

"Oh angel, I was doing much more than just fantasizing."

Normally you would blush and laugh it off, completely oblivious (maybe a little aware) of Natasha's advances, but you saw a flickering movement on your screen that made you squint, zooming in on the building schematics.

"Nat on your right, you have incoming through entrance four. I count 2, one armed, one strapped."

You widened your eyes, making sure you were looking at the signatures properly.

"Strapped to a bomb vest, Natasha, do not engage!" You yelled into the mouthpiece frantically, sprinting towards the room she was in. You neared entrance four, kicking down the other guy while you gingerly approached the human bomb, threatening to blow at any second.

"Romanoff, we need to evacuate. Where are you!?" You utter desperately, watching as the bomb vest turns red hot and the man dressed in it grins maniacally.

"Right behind you," Natasha knocks out a man who had gone unnoticed and was right behind you, peering at his figure on the ground. You hadn't even realized that someone was behind, let alone someone who was probably planning to blow you up. Natasha wraps her arm around your waist urgently, looking at the live bomb.

"Run"

You both sped across the hallways, her protective hold on your body tightening with every turn. You didn't slow down as you ran out of the facility, not looking back once.

"GET DOWN!"

Natasha screamed, pushing you to the ground and covering your body with hers. You heard a loud reverberation that echoed for so long that it felt like hours.

A few more minutes passed before she let up. You rolled around on your back, looking up at her tiredly to see a shit-eating grin on her face.

"This is not how I imagined we'd be when we laid down together for the first time."

At this, you giggled, looking away. She offered you a hand, and you took it, your hair bouncing as you got up.

You reached to tap your earpiece, wanting to let Fury know you're both safe. You pressed it, only to hear static. You took it out and groaned to see that it was broken. You looked toward Natasha to see her having the same luck. The vibrations from the explosion and the frantic escape must have damaged it. You sighed and looked around.

"Where's our ride? Do we go back to base?"

Natasha looks at you guiltily. "Well..." You widen your eyes, shooting her a wary glance.

"Nat...."

"I was supposed to call for the quintjet through comms. We have no forms of communication left to call Fury."

"Wh-UGH what about the bike?"

She looks around, examining every nook and corner of the destroyed facility and the grounds around it. "It blew up". You groaned, looking away from her, dread filling your heart. You had never been stranded before. You were a young avenger, comparatively new one. You bit your lip and surveyed the ground underneath you.

Natasha looks at you sympathetically. "We can't go back y/n. This just got way more serious than it should be. We need that intel, whoever it's with. And we need to find out why they would blow up their own facility. What were they hiding in here?" She thought out loud. "We'll have to camp out here for a few. Even if we had a means of transportation or communication, we would have to stay to figure this out."

You nod reluctantly. Friend or not, Natasha was still your senior. You looked into the pitch black sky. "Where do we start?"

She lets out a laugh, looking you over. "I might be tough on you hon, but I'm not a monster. We're gonna get some rest, recuperate and prepare, starting with stitching that ugly cut up."

Natasha brings her hand to your cheek, a borderline concerned look on her face. You tensed up. You hadn't even realized you were hurt.

She gently traced the pad of her thumb below the lacerated skin, her eyebrows pinched together. You observe her face, which was practically glowing, even in the darkness of the night. She blinked, as if put out of a trance when she notices you staring. She withdraws her hand, almost hesitantly (you notice) and cleare her throat.

"Uh...l-let's go look for a motel to spend the night at huh?" You caught a glance of the faint blush that spread on her cheeks, right before she turned away, walking quickly. You stood there, dumbfounded.

Natasha fucking Romanoff was...nervous?

You shook your head, laughing softly. "Wait for me!" You rushed behind Natasha, who was practically speed walking by now.

_______________________________________________

You stood in front of the bathroom mirror, wrapped up in a towel. You'd just gotten out of the shower, the gash on your cheek pulsing. You winced, letting out a few yelps of pain as you a attempted to put a measly bandaid on it. You hear three loud knocks an you jump, your knuckle hitting the cut.

"Fuck!" You screamed. Hearing the noise, Natasha barged in, gun in her hand.

"Are you okay?" She asked, eyes suddenly fixated on the towel hugging your body.

"I was until you knocked on the door, making me hit my cheek!" You huffed out, annoyed. Natasha chuckled and put her gun down.

"I just wanted to ask if you need help sweetheart. And apparently, you do.." She peered at the bandaid on your face. "You don't put bandaids on cuts like that sweetheart."

You looked at yourself in the mirror, then at Nat, suddenly feeling so stupid as you look down at the first aid kit in your hands.

"I-I didn't have anything else..."

Natasha smiles, caressing your side gently. "You'll need stitches princess." She takes out her own first aid kit, finding the sterilized needle and thread she kept.

"Will you get on the counter for me sweetheart?"

Natasha was taller than you, so it made sense for you to sit on the counter so that she could stitch you up more easily. You felt your cheeks get hot at her choice of words but get on the counter anyway, clutching your towel as it ridea up your legs.

She starts working on the cheek carefully and gently, inserting herself between your legs. You screw your eyes shut at the pain, needing something to hold on to as you grip her thigh, digging your nails into her flesh. She let out words of appreciation, hating to see you in pain.

"Almost done princess, just hang on..."

She whispers, doing the last stitch, finally cutting up the thread to look at you.

"All done sweetheart, you can open your eyes now."

You let go of a breath you didnt realize you were holding, as you turn to look in the mirror, inspecting your cheek. You look at Nat in the mirror, who was already looking at you. You felt your throat go dry as you looked into her eyes.

"T-thank you..." You stuttered out, looking back at her. She smiled and put the things back in the first aid kid, not moving away as her thigh rested dangerously close to your almost exposed pussy. You felt Natasha's gaze burn into you as she traced your inner thighs with her fingers.

"Can I kiss you?"

She whispered, lips inches away from yours. You nodded slowly, lost in her eyes. She didn't waste a second to crash her lips onto yours, hands funding your lower back. You let go of the towel loosely wrapping your torso, the fuzzy cloth dropping to reveal your body as you kept your hands on her neck to pull her closer.

Natasha stops, eyes relishing every nook and corner of your naked body as she looks you up and down.

"Sweetheart..." She whisper, completely entranced, bringing her thumb to stroke your soft nipple, playing with it until it becomes a small hard nub. A rush of euphoria hits you and you whimper, your hands finding her waist.

She looks up at your face and smiles, delighted to see your head thrown back, eyes screwed shut. She brings her mouth to your other nipple, licking and sucking it harshly, dragging a real, loud moan out of your throat.

Natasha pressed herself closer to your core, your legs involuntarily wrapping around her waist. She picks you up, carrying you out of the bathroom and to the medium-sized bed, which was the best that the run-down roadside motel you were at could offer. She gently placed you on the matress, looking at you hungrily as she spread your legs. She knelt down, her thumb reaching your clit, gauging you for a reaction. You bit your lip, whimpering and looking down at her as she pressed her thumb on the bundle of nerves, bringing her teeth down to graze the sensitive bud.

You were soaked by now, squirming and begging for some kind of friction as Natasha carelessly traced her fingers on the work of art between your legs.

"M-Mommy please!"

You whimpered out, bucking your hips towarda her fingers. All movement stopped as she looked up at you, a mocking pout on her lips.

"Please what sweetheart? Use your pretty words angel, can't get everything by begging and whining can you?"

You moaned, your hand reaching down to rub your clit. "Need you s-so bad." Natasha shoves your hand away from your clit, delivering a slap to your pussy. You cry out, your hole tightening around nothing.

"Did I say you could touch yourself?" She asks, reaching up to pinch your nipple.

"Answer me." She brought her hand down on your pussy again, smirking as you hiss in pain.

"I-I'm sorry-" You mumble, closing your eyea and biring your lip. Natasha lights taps your cheek, gesturing for you to look at her.

"Sorry what?"

"I'm sorry m-mommy!" You choke out as Nat plays with your clit. She smiles and takes your pretty bud in between her lips, sucking on it while forcing your legs open, even as you struggle to close them from the sensations. You gasp when her tongue enters your wet hole, eagerly lapping up your juices.

You thrust your pelvis into her face, causing her to hold you down as she aggressively licks your pussy like it was her last meal. Your hands reach to her scalp, stroking and pulling her red hair as the knot in your abdomen threatens to unravel.

You moan with pleasure, eyes falling shut when you shudder, so wo close-

"Fuck!" You cry out, tortured swollen pussy pulsing as Nat looks up at you, your arousal dripping down her chin.

"No...no why'd you stop!?" You sniffle, tears in your eyes.

Natasha licks her lips, bringing her face down to kiss your neck, biting and sucking so hard it left a large purple mark. You gasped, nails digging into her hips.

"Well you haven't been the best girl for mommy... didn't think you deserved a release." She whispers, rolling both your nipples betwen her fingers. You shudder with pleasure running down your torso.

"I'll be better...I-I promise I'll be better...Please Na-mommy!" Your best, puppy dog, princess face was on, playing at Natasha's heartstrings but she was not that easy. She settled onto the bed, gesturing for you to come towards her.

"C'mere sweetheart..." She whispered, arms out as you crawled towards her. She takes off her shirt and jeans, left in a red lingerie that could make anyone salivate at the sight. She scooped you up, laying you down in front of her. She spread your legs, blowing air to your core, watching as more arousal leaks through your hole.

"Aw sweetheart... baby's eager isn't she?" She whiapered out, eyes fixated to your insanely wet swollen cunt. You nodded and whimpered, nails digging into the matress of the bed.

She teased you, slowly sliding in one finger as she looks at your pretty face, whines falling out of your mouth. She keeps the finger inside, unmoving, looking at your eyes shut at just one.

"My princess can take another can't she?"

You nod eagerly, thrusting your bottom further down the finger. Natasha puts her hand on your jaw, pressing harshly.

"Didn't I ask you to use your words sweetheart?" She whisper, threatening to pull out the first. You babble, trying to find your speech.

"Another one m-ma please..." You bite your lip, anxious for friction.

Nat joins her index finger with her middle finger, finally starting to move them, thrusting them into you. She curled her fingers inside, grazing the squelchy, spongy spot inside that made you moan and shut your eyes.

She was breathing heavily, touching herself over the thin material of the panties, seeing your little hole get so stretched by just two fingers. Without warning, she slid another one in, making you gasp and hold her wrist.

She slapped your hand away, thrusting her fingers harder, pulling down her own, soaked through underwear. She felt your pussy clench around her fingers and she withdrawed them completely, leaving you clenching around nothing. You cried out, having yet aanother orgasm ripped away from you. The desperation was short lasting however, as Natasha pulled you to her lap, thrusting her bud onto yours, placing your wet and slippery pussy on hers.

She moaned loudly, her grip on your ass tightening as she made you grind into her pussy. You squealed as she flipped you over, rolling her hips into yours, rubbing herself on you without a break. Squelching noises filled the room as your slick coated pussy caressed against hers, your orgasm threatening to burst for the third time that night.

"Come on princess, I know you're close, gonna cum for me huh? Gonne show me who made you feel this well?"

With that, you reached your climax, your pussy pouring out everything it had, Nat's hands supporting your convulsing body as she herself let go, feeling her orgasm. You blacked out for what it felt like was seconds, but when you woke up, you saw that Natasha had already cleaned you up, her shirt on your torso. She stroked your hair, sitting beside you.

She kissed your cheek, seeing you wake up and smiled. You rubbed your eyes.

"W-what happened?" You whispered, snuggling closer into her chest. She laughed and pulled you closer.

"You squirted sweetheart. What a pretty sight it was too..." She whispered, drawing patterns on your thighs.

"Go to sleep angel, you've had a long day."

WHO LIVES, WHO DIES, WHO TELLS YOUR STORY CHAPTER 12

Who Lives, Who Dies Who Tells Your Story

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Natasha and Reader get into an accident that leaves Natasha in critical condition. When she wakes up, it’s revealed that she has amnesia and doesn’t remember her life, wife, or children.

Masterlist | General Masterlist

Follow my update page @natsxaddiction2

w/c:5.4k

Warning: Brief mentions of R’s time in HYDRA. 

Note: Sometimes Tumblr deletes entire paragraphs and sentences. You can read the chapters here on my a03

The grey light of dawn crept through the curtains, casting delicate shadows on the worn wooden floors of Natasha’s bedroom as she sat on the edge of the bed, a tangle of emotions twisted within her, threatening to consume her fragile heart. Her fingers gripped the photographs delicately. Today, was different. Today she had received something she’d never expected. Something that tore her world apart and made it whole again. Pictures of her mother, a woman she had never met before. A woman she only dreamed about. 

Natasha could only wonder what she was like. Was her voice as deep as hers? Did her eyes shine when she was happy? Did she have calloused hands or soft, delicate fingers only made for her? She wondered what their life was like. Did she have siblings? A father? A home? The longer she sat the more she thought. 

Her trembling hands clutched the photographs, each one a window into a past she had been denied. The images, yellowed with age and a touch wrinkled from years of neglect, revealed a woman whose eyes mirror her own. Whose hair fell on her shoulders the same way Natasha’s did when she allowed it to grow as long. Natasha switches between the two photos, admiring the woman inside of them. Her face adorned a bittersweet smile that hinted at a life filled with untold stories. 

The weight of guilt pressed heavily on Natasha’s chest. For years, she had harbored a deep-seated sense of shame, a belief that she was somehow unworthy of knowing her mother. Questions had plagued her thoughts like relentless echoes, but the answers remained elusive, lost in the murky depths of her tangled history. One she didn’t even know. A mix of joy and sorrow washed over her, the contradictory emotions leaving her overwhelmed and uncertain. She yearned to feel the warmth of her mother's embrace, to hear her voice whispering words of love and understanding. But alongside that longing came the knowledge that she had missed out on so much, that the years between them were an unbridgeable abyss of lost moments and untold stories.

The room felt suffocating as if the weight of her mother's absence had seeped into the very air she breathed. Natasha rose from the bed, the photographs clutched tightly in her hand and moved toward the window. She drew back the heavy curtains, exposing herself to the world outside. The forest skyline greeted her with a mixture of gloom and faded hope, a reflection of her inner turmoil. There was a thick layer of fresh snow covering the ground and trees. It’s Christmas and she’s here in her bedroom feeling sorry for herself. 

She leaned her head against the cold glass, hoping for a second to feel anything other than the emotions coursing through her. In this moment of vulnerability, Natasha realized that the photographs were not just a glimpse into her mother's life, but also a painful reminder of her fractured existence. The weight of her mother's absence threatened to consume her, the guilt of not knowing her tugging at her soul like an anchor dragging her down into the depths of despair. As she gazed at the images in her trembling hands, Natasha made a silent promise to herself. She would embark on a journey of discovery, a quest to unravel the secrets of her past. She knew it would not be easy, that the path ahead was shrouded in uncertainty and emotional turmoil. But she also knew that she owed it to herself and the woman in those photographs to uncover the truth, to find consolation in the answers she sought.  

She moves over to her bed, stuffing everything back into the package just as she found it before she walks over to the wall opposite her bed. She taps the paneling, wondering if she can trust her shotty memories, and the panel opens. It only does so with her fingerprint. There’s nothing inside this time. Just as she expected. She places the box inside and closes the panel again. She remains kneeling, breathing in and out, wiping the tears from her eyes. She hasn’t slept a wink. There might still be time to fall into a restless slumber before she has to wake up to be with the girls. She wouldn’t miss this moment for the world. She couldn’t. Natasha looks back to her bed, not at all ready to fall asleep, as she stands to her feet. She walks towards her bathroom instead. Her muscles still ache, her limbs are stiff, and her eyes are puffy and red from all of the cryings she’s done. 

This isn’t the way things are supposed to go. It’s not supposed to be like this. Yet it is. Because she’s made it so. Natasha ruins everything she touches. Right now in her haze of self-deprecation and guilt, Natasha can’t help but think of it as the truth. Why couldn’t she just stop thinking with her head? Forget about all of her reservations and talk to you. Talk to her wife. Why wouldn’t she stop being a coward?

Natasha stood in front of the mirror, her reflection a source of both familiarity and uncertainty. Her gaze met the piercing green eyes that stared back at her, searching for answers she feared she might never find. The weight of her past as a former spy pressed upon her shoulders, intertwining with the intricacies of her amnesia, creating a tangled web of doubt within her mind.

She leans over to splash water on her face. Her heart thudded in her chest as she wrestled with a decision that felt both monumental and terrifying. Should she confide in you, her partner and lover, about her feelings? Should she expose her vulnerability, and the fractures in her memory, and risk everything she’s been taught? Natasha's fingers traced the jagged scar on her hip, a silent reminder of the dangers she had faced in her former life. She had built walls around her heart, fortified by years of secrets and self-preservation. But now, as she stood on the precipice of rediscovering love, the fear of vulnerability threatened to shatter those walls and expose her to a pain she wasn't sure she could bear.

Her mind became a battlefield, torn between the instinct to protect herself and the desire to trust in the possibility of love. What if her amnesia prevented her from fully reciprocating your affection? What if the pieces of her past would forever haunt your relationship, whispering doubt into the spaces between your hearts?

A sense of longing surged within Natasha, a yearning to remember the love that had drawn her to you in the first place. She paced back and forth in her bedroom, the sound of her footsteps echoing in the silence. The weight of indecision pressed heavily upon her, threatening to drown her in a sea of uncertainty. But amidst the turmoil, a flicker of courage emerged, a voice urging her to take a leap of faith, to trust in the resilience of her heart. Natasha stopped in her tracks, her eyes drawn to the photograph on the mantel. She’d tried to ignore it in the little time she’s spent here. It captured a moment of stolen intimacy between her and you, your smiles radiant with the promise of a future filled with love. The photograph seemed to taunt her, a reminder of the passion she couldn't fully remember but could sense lingering in the depths of her being.

Taking a deep breath, Natasha steeled herself for the vulnerability that lay ahead. She walked across the hall with your bedroom in mind. She raised her hand to knock, wondering if she was doing the right thing before her fists land against the door in rapid succession. No answer. Of course. It’s early in the morning and you could be asleep. Were you able to sleep after a day like yesterday?

Natasha knocks again with no answer. She tries the doorknob, twisting it, finding that it’s unlocked. Every cynical part of her tells her you don’t want to be bothered with her. She opens the door, hoping you wouldn’t be angry if it’s the opposite, and she steps inside. The bed is unmade, a sign that you had been there, but otherwise looked untouched. The bathroom is empty if the lights being off is any indication. 

Natasha tries the girls’ room next. They’re sleeping just as peacefully. They would be up soon. All of her courage seems to dwindle as she begins to wonder where you are. Has she missed her chance? 

*********************************************

Down the hall, on the other side of the living quarters, you lay on Wanda’s bed, wrapped up in her arms with tear-stained cheeks. The warmth of your shared connection, the comfort in the familiarity of sibling love, offer a brief respite from the storm raging in your heart. Your body trembled, the attempts to contain your magic taking a toll on your weary soul. You had always prided yourself on your strength. Your ability to weather any storm had been admirable. Not that you had some inflated sense of ego. It was Natasha who taught you to wear it with confidence. So, you always held your head up high. You listened to your body. You marched forward. 

But now, facing the possible end of your relationship with Natasha, that strength wavered, threatened by a weakness that you had long tried to keep hidden. 

Wanda’s touch was a soothing balm, her presence served as a beacon of understanding and support. With each rhythmic rise and fall of her breath, you found a resemblance of calm, a reminder that you are not alone in your pain. You cling to your little sister, your fingers tangling in the fabric of Wanda’s shirt, seeking comfort in your shared bond. 

As the sun continued its ascent, casting a golden hue over the room, you closed your eyes. Your mind churned with thoughts and doubts. You love Natasha with a depth that could only be matched by the intensity of your magic. The growing distance between you only intensified your feelings. 

Your heart physically ached at the thought of losing Natasha, of watching your love slip through your fingers like sand. You longed for the laughter and intimacy, the moments when your connection felt unbreakable. Wanda, even in her sleep, could feel your unease, tugging you closer to her before she presses a kiss to your forehead. You remember the days when you were the one protecting her. Keeping her safe. Making her feel better. 

You shudder at the memory of your shared living space. The cell in which you and your siblings slept was a cold and desolate place, devoid of any warmth or comfort. Its bare concrete walls rose high, trapping the echoes of your whispered hopes and dreams within its confines. The only source of light came from a dim, flickering bulb suspended from the ceiling, casting eerie shadows that danced along the frigid floor. After many years of dedication to HYDRA, your loyalty meant nothing. The air was heavy with a stale, musty scent, a reminder of the isolation that enveloped you. The small, narrow window, its glass covered in layers of grime, offered a glimpse of the outside world, teasing you with a mere sliver of the freedom you longed for. The sound of distant footsteps and muffled voices drifted in a constant reminder of the guarded existence you were forced to endure.

You would pull Wanda and Pietro closer to you, covering them with your single blanket, watching the door for signs of life. You had grown protective over them from your time spent with them. Though they seemed content only being together. They took to you like moths in a flame. Wanda is the one to model her behavior after you. Some days, she wouldn’t talk, only looking to Pietro to be her voice. He would do it willingly. He was defiant. He was resilient. Funny even. He would crack jokes and make fun of Strucker. His favorite pastime. There in the confines of your hell, you would listen to Pietro go on and on about his adventures with training as Wanda cuddled into you. She would tangle her fingers in your shirt, her hands brushing against the skin of your belly, as she cracked a smile at her brother. Even with chapped lips and paled skin from lack of sunlight, Pietro never lost his smile. With you by his side, he wouldn’t. 

You’re brought back to reality when Wanda begins to shift. She takes deep breaths and your eyes flicker to her face. 

“Did you sleep?” She rasps, the lilt of her accent apparent, as she covers her mouth to yawn. 

“Some,” You nod. You return your gaze to the ceiling. 

“You’re not calm,” Wanda taps her hands. The magic seeping from them only further proves her point. You sigh, allowing the purple tendrils to recede into your skin before you turn to your side to look at her. 

“I’m fine,” You assure her. “I just need time. It’s not easy.”

“I know,” Wanda says. Her voice held no judgment whatsoever. You believe her. 

“Tell me something,” You encourage. “Maybe something about you and Monica perhaps?” You smirk and Wanda groans. 

“Nice way to change the subject,” Wanda shakes her head. “We’re not dating. I don’t think. It…it’s new. We’ve been together a few times but we lead different lives.”

“And you like her?” You can see it in her eyes. 

“I do,” Wanda confirms. With a smile that only radiated happiness, she begins to tell you all about Monica. “She’s gentle. She listens to everything I say. She doesn’t make fun of me for not knowing some things in English. Which is huge for me.” You’re appreciative of that. “She makes me feel seen in ways I’ve never felt before.” She praised her infectious laughter, which had the power to chase away the shadows of her past, and Monica’s unwavering support that emboldened her to chase her dreams. But above all, Wanda cherished the way she made her feel safe and cherished, igniting a flame of love that burned brighter with each passing day. At that moment, as the world swirled around you, you couldn't help but share in Wanda's joy, knowing that your sister had found someone who cherished her as fiercely as she deserved. 

“I’m sorry,” Wanda frowns. “I didn't mean to be selfish when you’re going through-”

“Never apologize for your happiness,” You interrupt her. “I like the look of love on you. It’s nice. It suits you.”

“Thank you,” Wanda curls into you again. There’s a shared silence between you. Neither of you is ready to get out of bed and face the day just yet. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” You say. Wanda doesn’t seem so convinced. You tap at her shoulders, forcing her to look into your eyes before you promise her again. “I’ll be fine.”

Wanda nods silently. She wouldn’t push. “The girls will be awake soon.”

“I’m excited to see their faces,” You tell her. “I want them to be happy. Even with everything going on. I think Olivia’s starting to notice something is wrong. She’s so young but so perceptive.”

“Blunt too,” Wanda jokes and you share a laugh. “Did you buy a lot?”

“Tons,” You gesture with your hands. “I’m thinking I may have gone a bit overboard considering how small they are.”

“You’re making up for lost time?” Wanda tries to use the right phrase. 

“For my childhood,” You take her hand in yours again. “I mean, I remember with my birth dad, for Christmas we would do things. It wasn’t traditional like decorating a tree or getting gifts. He would let me watch Christmas movies in the lab while he worked with Strucker.” Wanda knows this story already but she lets you tell it as if it’s the first time. 

Wanda’s phone receives a ping, breaking you from your cocoon, and she turns to inspect it. 

“Sam is inviting us down to breakfast. Says everyone wants to come up to open presents with the girls,” She waves her phone. 

“They can,” You begin to sit up. “I have to go and get them awake. I’ll meet you guys in my den in twenty.”

“Okay, see you there.” 

You rush out of Wanda’s suite and back down to your own. The lights are still off, it’s quiet, and there’s no sign of life. It’s still quite early in the morning. Too early even. Though no one in this entire compound has a habit of sleeping in. It could be attributed to the odd hours of Avenging and training and an assortment of other things. You glance over to Natasha’s bedroom door, noticing it closed, fighting the urge to go and knock. You instead walk to the girls’ bedroom. You find Lily awake in her crib, sitting up with a tired expression on her face, as she looks at you. She stands to her feet, waving her arms with grabbing motions, as she reaches out to you. 

“Good morning, Lovebug,” You kiss her forehead as you take her into your arms. “Merry Christmas.” You whisper to her. You walk over to the changing table, wasting no time in getting her clean, as she signs to you. Milk. She wants milk. Which of course means she wants some time with Natasha. It would probably be a while before that happens. You zip her onesie closed and carry her on your hip now. You kneel to gently shake Olivia awake. Olivia gives a big stretch, touching the headboard of her bed before her arms return to her side. 

“Mommy, it’s Christmas?” Olivia blinks sleepily. 

“Mhmm,” You grin. “Are you awake? Your presents are all lonely in the den waiting for you.”

“Presents?” Olivia’s still quite tired if her responses are any indication. 

“Do you want to go see it?” You offer. She takes your hand and you walk with her towards the living room. 

“I have to potty,” Olivia announces before she races ahead of you for the bathroom. You follow her detour, monitoring her as she relieves herself before you help her wash her hands. It’s then Natasha appears in the doorway, with a solemn expression on her face. 

“Hey,” She nods to you tersely. She doesn’t look like she’s had a wink of sleep. Though her hair is brushed and she has on a new outfit. She’s showered. Though that doesn’t cover the slight dark circles under her eyes. 

“Good.” You can’t help but think. Maybe you wanted her to feel just as bad as you. You’re not a terrible person for thinking so. In your arms, Lily wiggles out of your grasp to toddle over to Natasha. You can see the moment Natasha winces as she raises the twenty two pound girl in her arms. She’s in pain too. That part you feel a bit guilty about. 

“Mommy, I’m done,” Olivia finishes her business and walks to the sink where you lift her to wash her hands. 

“We have to get Lily’s cochlear,” You begin but Natasha raises a hand. She reaches into her pocket and pulls both devices out. Lily pats her ears in recognition while she settles long enough for Natasha to put them on. 

“Mama, we got presents!’ Olivia informs her other mother. She’s more awake than she was a few minutes ago. 

“You do?” Natasha fakes her enthusiasm for Olivia’s benefit. “Let’s go see.” They race towards the living room and you take your time following after them. 

“Wow! Mommy, Mama, look,” Olivia points to all of the presents. It’s even cuter when you consider she can’t pronounce her L’s. Olivia stalks over to the stacked presents, running her fingers across the papers, as she grabs one. Lily is set on the floor for her to do the same. Nothing could prepare you for the joy of seeing your kids excited about Christmas. Their wide smiles and twinkling eyes made your heart soar. 

“I, um, the guys and everyone wanted to see the girls open their presents,” You inform Natasha when someone knocks at the door. You go to open it, smiling widely when you notice a few of them have wrapped gifts in their hands. 

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Sam cheers as he walks into the suite. “Merry Christmas!” He cheers as he’s followed by Steve, Wanda, and Yelena. Somehow you know Melina and Alexei stayed back not to overwhelm Natasha. The room was adorned with festive decorations, casting a warm glow that reflected the love and unity shared by the team as they piled in. Tony and Pepper were probably still asleep or helping Morgan tear through the mountains of her presents. They opted to have family mornings alone for Christmas. You could respect it. 

The Christmas morning was filled with an air of anticipation and subtle tension as you gathered around the twinkling tree in the cozy living room. As the children's excited giggles filled the room, you and Natasha exchanged hesitant glances, your unspoken emotions echoing between you. It has been a challenging time for your relationship, with uncertainty holding you back, and the strain lingering beneath the surface. But amidst the awkwardness, you remained determined to provide your daughters with a joyful Christmas. 

With a nod of agreement, you and Natasha took your places beside Olivia and Lily. Your smile masks the complexities of your heart. The room fell into a hushed silence as the children eagerly tore into the brightly wrapped presents, their eyes wide with wonder and delight. 

Olivia squealed in joy as she unwrapped a stuffed animal, hugging it tightly against her chest. Lily clapped her tiny hands in glee, discovering a set of colorful blocks. The room filled with laughter and the delightful chaos of torn gift wrappings. Meanwhile, the Avengers watched on, their presence offering a comforting backdrop to the strained atmosphere. They exchanged knowing glances, their eyes conveying support for you and Natasha, understanding the intricacies of your relationship and the delicate dance they now navigated.

“Oh, open that one,” Yelena was so engrossed in her niece’s gift opening she didn’t have time to question you or Natasha. She was enjoying this way too much. Olivia, under the guidance of her aunt, opens a giant box. 

“A baby!” Olivia cheers. Lily, always in her sister’s business, walks over to Olivia to try and snatch the doll. 

“Uh oh,” Steve voices as there’s a hint of a fight in the midst. 

“This one is yours,” You sign to Lily as you show her an identical box. Lily waits with her hands on her tummy, bending over in excitement, as she bounces with her knees. You open the box, turning the front to her to watch as her mouth forms a perfect oh.

“Baby!” Lily grabs the box and clutches it to her. “Open.” She demands. There’s a slight roar of laughter and she startles. She doesn’t understand how that was funny. You open the box for her and pass her doll to her. She walks over to sit in Natasha’s lap to show off her new doll. “Mama, baby.” She practically shoves the toy into Natasha’s face. 

“I see,” Natasha signs. “She’s your baby.”

“Mine,” Lily nods. She tucks the baby’s head in the crook of her elbow, the body and legs dangling from her arm, and moves on to the next present. So much for taking care of her toy. 

“There is so much presents,” Olivia smiles. 

“I know right,” Yelena agrees. “Your parents are loaded.”

“What’s that mean?” Olivia tilts her head. 

“It means you still have more presents to open,” Natasha doesn’t think now is the time to explain the concept of money and wealth to a three-year-old. 

“So, Natasha, what did you get R for Christmas?” Sam questions, either oblivious or not caring about the tension between the two of you. 

You look over to Natasha, not offering any reprieve, as she stumbles for only a second. 

“Nothing that is of your concern,” Natasha answers. Truthfully she hadn’t been expecting him to ask. 

“Oh, is that code word for an inappropriate toy,” Sam questions and he receives a wack from Steve. 

“Ouch,” Sam rubs the sore spot on his arm. 

“Oh, no hitting, that’s bad Uncle Steve,” Olivia scolds the man. 

“You’re right it is bad, Olivia,” Steve agrees. “I’m sorry Sam that I bruised your puny arm.”

“My arms are not puny,” Sam begins to flex his muscles. Steve rolls his eyes. Out of your peripheral, you can see Natasha smile at their exchange. She’s missed the guys. Maybe staying in the compound will be a good thing for her. 

As the gift opening continued, you and Natasha find yourselves sharing brief smiles and stolen glances. You remained civil, respecting the sanctity of the day and the shared memories you’re building with the girls. Amid the festive chaos, Olivia and Lily, oblivious to the complexness of the adult world, radiated innocence and love. Their laughter and excitement were contagious, their innocent joy a reminder of the preciousness of family bonds. 

****************************************

When all is done, everyone begins to crave breakfast. The girls jump at the chance to go down to the kitchen to sit with Steve and Sam. They chase after the guys with shrieks and shouts. Yelena and Wanda linger as you offer to stay behind and clean. 

“I can help,” Wanda offers but you shake your head. 

“Go, eat,” You shoo her. “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” Wanda nods. She looks to see if Yelena is coming too. The blonde nods but looks between the two of you. It’s then you notice Natasha has been staring at you. 

“I’m going to stay behind and help,” Natasha decides for the both of you. Wanda’s eyes flash to you. Would you approve of that?

“Yeah, you two go ahead,” You lick your lips nervously. The women both shuffle out slowly, probably in hopes to hear your conversation, but nothing is said. You get straight to work cleaning. The room was scattered with discarded wrapping paper, a colorful aftermath of the Christmas morning festivities. Natasha stood there, her hands absentmindedly clutching a crumpled piece of paper, her thoughts swirling with uncertainty. She felt a knot in her stomach, unsure of how to approach you and mend the fractures that had formed between you.

You, on the other hand, moved about with a touch of distance, your body language guarded. The remnants of your argument still lingered in the air, casting a shadow over the otherwise joyous occasion. Natasha could feel the walls you had put up, a barrier that seemed impenetrable, and it weighed heavily on her heart. The silence hung between you, heavy with unspoken words and unresolved emotions. Natasha's mind raced, searching for the right words, but finding none that seemed adequate to heal the wounds that had formed. In her life as a spy, she had been trained to navigate treacherous situations, to infiltrate and extract information, but matters of the heart were foreign territory.

As she moved about the room, picking up wrapping paper and carefully folding it, Natasha racked her brain for something, anything, to bridge the gap between you. And then, as if by a stroke of inspiration, a question formed on her lips. "What's your favorite childhood memory?" she asked, her voice soft but filled with genuine curiosity.

Your eyes flickered with surprise at the unexpected question, momentarily caught off guard. But slowly, a hint of a smile tugged at the corners of your lips, your guard softening just a touch. You would humor her for now. 

“I wasn’t a child, but I certainly acted like one at times,” You begin, your voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia. “Back at the lab, we… me, Pietro, and Wanda would sneak out of our room, courtesy of magic.” You continue. “When the guards were at their lowest, drinking or watching sports or whatever it is they were doing, we would rush through the hallways. We would sneak up to the roof. We could see the city lights, what was left of them at least, from the top. We would laugh, dance, and tell stories. I wanted them to experience some form of happiness. The twins were fifteen when I met them. Scared and lonely. I did everything I could to make sure they felt like they had someone.” You look to Natasha before turning away. “In those moments, on the roof, we were just siblings. They always believed they joined HYDRA to serve the greater good. They were naive. I knew better. Still, I didn’t take away their hope.” 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” 

“I’m not,” You shrug. “Who knows where I would be.” 

Natasha nods silently. 

“I was determined to be something other than what they raised me for,” You informed her. The last of the wrapping paper in your hands as you drop everything into the trash can. “My father didn’t die in vain.”

Natasha takes this moment to reflect on her feelings and what she wants this moment to be. As the last remnants of wrapping paper were tidied away, Natasha mustered up the courage to address the elephant in the room. She took a tentative step towards you, her voice soft yet laced with trepidation. You want to think her intentions are good. You want to listen to whatever she has to say. Instead, you take a step back. 

“Y/n,” Natasha begins. Her eyes searched your face for any signs of receptiveness. Your expression remained guarded, a flicker of defiance in your eyes. 

Natasha’s heart sank, her instincts telling her that now might not be the right time to push further. She had noticed the control of your magic seemed more strained than usual, the subtle flickers of energy escaping your grasp as she’d stepped closer to you. It was a sign your emotions were beginning to run high, and she didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. Silently, Natasha withdrew her approach, giving you the space you seemed to need. She watches as your gaze shifts, your eyes cast downward, avoiding any direct contact. 

“I want the girls every weekend,” Natasha begins. “I take it you’re going to keep them.”

You lift your head. You weren’t expecting that. “T-that’s fine. I can drive them up or you can pick them up. I’m sure, um, Tony has a car you can borrow.”

“Thank you,” Natasha nods. 

The room grew uncomfortably silent, tension hanging heavy in the air. Natasha swallowed the words that lingered on the tip of her tongue, understanding that pushing you further might only deepen the divide between you. Instead, Natasha chose to respect the silence, allowing it to envelop you in its uneasy embrace. She knew that sometimes words weren't enough, that silence could hold its power—a moment to reflect, to gather thoughts, and to find solace in one's presence. And so, in that stillness, you stood, two souls struggling to find common ground amidst the turmoil of their emotions. Each passing second felt heavy with unspoken thoughts and unaddressed fears, yet neither of you dared to break the silence.

With a gentle sigh, Natasha turned away, her footsteps barely audible as she retreated to her bedroom. She didn't know what the future held for you, but she was determined to give you the space you needed. 

You stood alone in the living room, emotions swirling within you. Natasha seemed like she was opening up to you and you had pushed her away. The silence in her absence enveloped you, amplifying the turmoil that had been building up inside. 

In that solitary moment, your control over your magic wavered. A surge of raw energy crackled through your veins, sparks of vibrant colors dancing around your fingertips. For a second, you wanted to allow it to consume you. Oh, how good it would feel to let it all out. Your powers run off emotion. They only work as best as you allow them. You’re not some animal waiting to be uncaged. It’s just, you’re tired, and you're hurt, and you’re confused. As quickly as it had appeared, your magic subsided. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, desperately trying to regain your composure. The room returned to its calm state, the remnants of your unleashed magic fading into the air.