Bi-piper-mclean - Tumblr Posts
Luke, pointing to Percy’s shoe: What color is this, Annabeth?
Annabeth, confused: Gray?
Luke: Now tell her what color you said it was
Percy, not recognizing his mistake: Dark White!
Annabeth and Luke shake their heads.
Nico at 4 am: Percy what are you doing?
Percy: The toaster broke but I wanted toast so I found a blowtorch and decided to make toast with it
Nico: Understandable, don’t burn the house down. I’m going back to sleep.
Percy, dancing to Another One Bites The Dust in a onesie: Nico you can’t judge me.
Nico: Why not.
Percy: Because then you’d have to judge everyone.
Nico: What do you mean everyone.??
The rest of the Seven slide next to Percy, also in onesies, and join him in dancing.
Percy: When people see me they’re just like “That tall child looks terrible! Get some rest, tall child! You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!”
Percy: Which is not only offensive, but it is also the worst thing there is.
Thalia: What?
Percy: True.
No One:
Absolutely Nobody:
Frank: If you even LOOK at Hazel I will stomp you to death with my hooves!
Percy: Perseus Jackson? Never heard of him
Apollo: Then wait. Who are you?
Percy: You May know me as.... Daddy Honker!
Percy: Let’s try to see this from my perspective.
Annabeth: *Crouches down*
Thalia: *Gets on knees*
Grover: *sits down in a chair*
Luke: *Lays on the floor*
Percy: Honestly fuck you guys
I’ve seen those X Characters as John Mulaney quotes. And I saw one, I think it was Part 2, and Nico’s was “cause he never forgets a bitch, ever.” And it makes it so much better, that when every time I see it, my brain has the realization that that quote is about Bill Clinton.
Headcanon #1
Luke Castellan does NOT like the taste of mint toothpaste so he uses Crest Kids Sparkle Fun Toothpaste. Nobody on the Titan’s side knows about this and if Luke had his way, nobody would ever know. Somehow Percy knows. Percy knows everything about everybody.
Leo: If you’re gonna play in Texas, you’ve gotta have a fiddle in the band
Hazel: That lead guitar is hot, but not for a Louisiana man
Thalia: So rosin up that bow
Piper: For “Faded Love” And let’s all dance
All: If you’re gonna play in Texas, you’ve got to have a fiddle in the band!
Luke: Baby I got your number and I know that you got mine
Thalia: ...
Luke: But you know that I called you, I called too many times
Thalia: ...
Luke: You can call me baby, you can call me anytime
Thalia: You’ve got to call me first, stupid.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PERCY!!!
So We Know That Climate Change Sucks, Right?
WELL, Do I Have News For Y’all. Tea trees.org has reached their goal of 20 million trees and are about 273,600 over their goal! That’s great! But wait. There’s more. If you guys wanna plant even MORE trees to help the environment and help stop climate change, use this search engine Ecosia. It’s set up like Google, easy to use, and it doesn’t try to sell you things. It lets you plant trees by searching things for free.
Okay Guys
If we’re being honest, we all know that Luke Castellan and Thalia Grace Would Be the two to escape the underworld because of the sheer Levels Of Spite that they have
Annabeth: Whaddup, I’m Annabeth, I’m 19, and I never fuckin’ learned how to read because I dropped out of school in second grade!
Percy, incredibly high: Hey, Annabeth. Imagine... having a girlfriend.
Annabeth, confused: Percy, I hate to break it to you.
On The Cliff
Luke: Thalia, join me. We could be great and rule Olympus hand in hand.
Thalia: I'm all for demolishing the patriarchy but you're a guy, so... *kicks him off the cliff*
Luke: Annabeth said a bad word today.
Thalia: Where the fuck did she learn that from?
Percy: He ruined my dream journal!
Luke: I did not! Chiron, send him to Mr. D and have him expelled!
Percy: Hazel, did you know I can speak Spanish?
Hazel: You can? Say something!
Leo: Hazel, don't listen to him!
Percy, blasting Raini Rodriguez: ~Fiesta, salsa, quinceñera~