Backstories - Tumblr Posts
this is a call out post for myself
Backstories for girls and women in stories that *don't* involve sexual assault.
I beta read a lot, and am involved in writing communities of various kinds, and I briefly taught English way back in the day, and I consume storytelling media in general - and one of my biggest pet peeves is sexual assault backstories. While I think this is improving, it's still annoying to me that a lot of writers (of all genders, but particularly men) fall back on a sexual assault backstory whenever they need to make a girl or woman in a story complicated or haunted or fucked up in some way.
Unless your story is dealing with the topic of sexual assault in some way, please don't use it as a way to give a character depth or angst.
Here are some prompts, just to get you started with some ideas.
Why would a woman be trying to escape her past? Why would she be seeking a fresh start?
She hated her small town; the people there didn't understand her and she never felt like she fit in - she's queer, she has a weird birthmark, she's got unique interests, she has magical powers, etc.
She's a criminal - she robbed banks or stole cars and she wanted a fresh start
She was an addict and hurt people, and she wants a fresh start now that she's sober
Her parent is a criminal or an addict and she's trying to outrun the stigma of being related to them
She didn't get along with a stepparent and skipped town as soon as she turned 18
She had big dreams of being something else, and left to pursue them
Her childhood home was haunted, but no one believed her
She got married young then divorced, and wants to start over somewhere that no one knows her
Heartbreak of any variety - she's leaving a place that reminds her too much of someone she lost or couldn't have
She wants better; maybe more money, or a career, or simply a higher quality of life
Some other violent tragedy occurred - a school shooting, an explosion at the plant, police brutality, her best friend was killed, etc.
Her hometown no longer exists (climate change, the main factory shut down, it was overrun by rabid squirrels, etc.)
What would make a woman distrustful of others?
Heartbreak; being lied to, cheated on, left for her best friend, etc.
A big betrayal - her former best friend told everyone a secret about her, someone weaponized her trauma or her past or a major flaw she's sensitive about, etc.
She witnessed a traumatizing event as a child
Her mother was a grifter and used her as part of her scams
One parent cheated on the other and broke up the family
Her older brother isn't dead after all, he was disowned for being gay and now she's questioning everything her parents ever told her
She has problems with her memory, and is never quite sure what the truth is
She's bad at reading people and has been taken advantage of
She finds out a dark secret about someone she loves and is having trouble processing it
She gradually comes to see that someone she idealized as a child is not at all what they seem
Someone she thought was a good, kind, and genuine person is arrested for a terrible crime
Spiritual abuse - the worldview she was taught was right turns out to be exploitative, represses women, etc., so she leaves
What would cause a woman to have mental health issues?
Any form of abuse - doesn't have to be sexual
Her parents had really high expectations that she couldn't live up to
It simply runs in the family
Survivor's guilt - she survived something that someone else did not
She was bullied and no one protected her
Her parents were very controlling and destroyed her confidence
Her sibling was the golden child and she was the scapegoat
She's had issues since childhood but her parents refused to admit there was anything wrong with her, so she didn't get help
Being a part of any oppressed group of people who experience discrimination - she's a person of color, she's an immigrant, she's got a disability, she's queer, etc.
Any major trauma, either witnessed or being a part of - weather events and natural disasters, infrastructure collapse, crashes and accidents, fires, a shooting or a murder, etc.
You're a writer - get creative. There are lots of ways to traumatize and haunt a girl/woman character without having to resort to a sexual assault backstory. You can even make her the problem! Maybe she's the one who did something bad and is trying to outrun the guilt.
Let's also let go of the idea that it's meeting and falling in love with a man that saves her from her trauma. Let her have a healing arc that doesn't involve a man - a love story can still be there, but it can't be the magic healing balm that fixes her. Make her have to save herself. Give her autonomy to both make her own mistakes, and improve her own situation. Don't let your man go into savior mode - let him get frustrated with her. Let her push him away without him clinging to her in a desperate bid to show her what unconditional love is. Don't let him be a martyr to her trauma.
Women are complicated for many reasons. We have trauma for many reasons. We have mental health issues for many reasons. We may want to escape our past for many reasons. We're angsty and weird for many reasons.
Please pick literally anything other than sexual assault.
Character picking!! 😁
I want you guys to tell me which character you'd like me to talk about next! Here are the names of my other OC's that I have created but not have shown yet. Chip: the wooden puppet Violet and Robert Mallory: the doll Emma: the dark fairy Antonio: the puppet soldier Let me know in the comment section below.
All right, guys. When Alexander was young, he enters the detention room. The principal was so tired and texting on the laptop. Alexander excitedly yelled at him "Wow, cool! Principal!" He appears. Alexander gets excited "Hey, Principal!" The principal is really tired. "Oh, you're still here." Then he yawned, Alexander asking "What are you doing?" The principal replies "I am texting to chat to talk to my best friend." Then Alexander gets excited "I want to send a text message by chat!" He felt tired "Well, when you have your own shipment, you can order whatever you want." Alexander want to send them "I want a message!" The principal doesn't seem like fun, then he drinks coffee, Alexander plans before trying to become a creepy stranger and yells "I want one now!" Alexander actually feels ignored, the principal creates the conversation, reveals a screen that displays a message, Alexander mockingly asks the director "What's this?" He seems like the best friend of that principal, then the principal responds "I am contacting the school leader." He feels tired, then Alexander said to let him do it and then was surprised "Let me do it!" He wants to do it before trying to become a stranger. Alexander creates a conversation and speaks in a "Hello, babe! I'm the stranger, But then payments" message. Alexander tries to become a stranger and an angry the principal grabs his arm. The director gets mad yelling at Alexander "Don't touch that! Then you've spoken rude to us! You can't do that!" On the words "he can't do that" he rude, Alexander says to start arguing and then stomp and say. "Why not? You have so many worlds and I don't even have one!" Alexander yells angry so loudly that he says "It's not fair!" He got arguing and in trouble with the director. Alexander yells at the director in an argument and then stomps again "I want one! I want to become a stranger! I want to become a robbery! I deserve it! I'm just as important as you! And I can do whatever I want!" Alexander is very rude and mischievous, the principal gets angry "Then why don't you act like it, Ayuwoki?!" He then says why he does not act like this and then calls him "Ayuwoki" before being arrested. After being stopped, Alexander feels bored with anger, he looks at the principal again, then clenches his fist, Michael Jackson is seen through his reflection in the windows and hits the windows, breaking it, main warning to Alexander then he shouts "Hey!" He looked at him, that Alexander is in big trouble.