And It Probably Sounds So Incoherent - Tumblr Posts

I’m not trying to start anything, but the statement Buck says to Maddie about how she is always the one leaving, and doesn’t know what it’s like to watch someone you love walk away seems so unfair, but also makes me so mad for both their situations.

Like Buck comes from a place where he was born to save Daniel’s life, “failed”, and was raised in the aftermath of a long lasting grief and fear. He never understood why his parents acted the way they did, why they never seemed to love him as much as they should have. Maddie was always their for him until she had to go off to college and then eventually went away/distanced herself after Doug. He tried to find his place in the world and people in the world who would never abandon him, and while he found that place at the 118, that fear of abandonment still lingers and probably always will.

And while yes technically speaking Maddie was the one leaving, it just makes me mad on her behalf because it’s not like she wanted to leave Buck. Maddie was also effected by their parents. She knows the pain of watching a brother die and seeing their once loving parents walk away from their two remaining children and stay in that state of grief and fear for years; she was old enough to remember it all. I think Maddie also had a small fear of being left behind as well as unloved, so that’s why she walked away from other people in the past before they could do what her parents did to her. Then she met Doug who she couldn’t help but fall for in the beginning because she thought he loved her unlike so many people in the past, and that’s what love was suppose to be like because she didn’t have any knowledge other wise from her parents or by any other people in her life.

And again I feel bad for Buck because he got caught in this catch 22 where he was only 11 when Maddie went of to college and shouldn’t have had to deal with being with his parents alone, and because Maddie was the only person he had left who understood him, but Maddie also couldn’t take living at home anymore and shouldn’t have to take it either but life also has to go on. People do go away for a little bit for college and then eventually if they get married and start a family. She couldn’t stay at home forever, but then it’s also where she shouldn’t have had to deal with Doug either who was also the really big problem later on.

But every time Maddie left it wasn’t because she was leaving as if she didn’t care at all, but rather quite the opposite. The Buckley siblings have the biggest hearts, and Maddie had always just wanted to protect her or her brother’s heart which is why walking away seemed like the best choice for certain situations. Like when she didn’t leave with Buck like he wanted her to in Hershey, or when she went radio silent on him for a few years. It’s just kind of unfortunate that it didn’t come out that way.

I just think it’s not as simple as her being the one to always leave while Buck is the person everyone always leaves. There’s just so much info to calculate and add on to those statements to even make them make sense.

Jesus I didn’t even mean for this to be so long, I was honestly just trying to get some clips for my Madney edit I’ve been working on and I came across this clip that clearly triggered me somewhat lol.

But seriously the poor Buckley siblings. They honesty need a vacation, just the two of them.