All In A Gays Work - Tumblr Posts
Brad couldn't remember. Did he like dogs? He'd ask Chris later. Right now, it was weird he couldn't feel any fur.
It was Tuesday at 2:15pm. Brad, Chris, Jeremy and Luke were hanging per usual. They bought and made their Halloween costumes back in March while at a stripper flea market just outside of Reno. This, of course, was your 'oh so typical' everyday street wear, a peculiar shade of dress that read mainstream or ultra trendy depending on the infractions of its execution.
Yes, we know. It's difficult to look at the pic and not think everyone dresses like they are 35.... like EVERYONE. You know it's a gold standard when those who actually are 35 don't even react.
What's his head told us this on that one show. You know, the one with the runway, sewing machines, and that woman we see every Halloween in the rags who divorced… an otter was it?
Oh. Otter is a gay thing isn’t it? Just like pank, gurl, and… Well, isn’t it all gay?!?
Ok. That’s not true or more of us would be test tubers by now. We’re still on the YouTube with the occasion designer baby popping out of China or some overdone upper crust of Europe-adjacent. When will parents learn no matter how much you change a child, even if you alter their DNA, they will always become what they are?
Ultimately, we each direct our own expression. No one creates art on your behalf or tells another how to feel. We will each decide here too.
Dear me, that was a tangent wasn’t it? So…where were we? Seal. Ah. Yes. That. We got a name! This one divorced, and as far as we know all involved survived and carry on otter-free.
What was the name of the show though? You know the one with that butler who has all the catch phrases and pretends to help the contestants but obviously doesn't because have you seen some of the outfits?! The name escapes me but someone on the show called out everyone dressing like they were 35 right before fashion finally threw itself down three flights of stairs to pass in a respectable manner.
That’s what you do after waking up and finding yourself on life support from being declared ‘over,’ ‘obsolete’ and ‘pointless’ countless times for decades. Such horrific headlines and worst of all, no one who declared it dead ever bothered to throw it funeral. Well, there’s no pretty there.
We say, good for you fashion. We can run with your tips and style now so leave you to finally rest in peace. We’ve raised the dead too many times. I swear dignity exists only because we still have the word for it.
I think.
D-I-G-N-I-T-Y.
Yes. It’s all there. Ok. Great. Now we’ve held a private service and said our goodbyes. Please style on and leave fashion be.
BTW - This... yes, this whole post thing is PRIDE. Nuance darling, nuance. We taught you this upfront when we went over infractions.
Ok. So, believe it or not, all of this hullabaloo actually leads us up to....
Just The Fashion Tip #9328 : Tops and bottoms are not required to communicate either.
Right?!? We do more than blow minds around here at BradAndChris.com.
Great WERQ boiz. When the gays do pedestrian, they DO PEDESTRIAN!
Chris had a problem with the word ‘manufacturer’. It didn’t roll off the tongue like Becky’s ‘Namibia.’
What was he going to do now anyway? The photo shoot was in full swing. It was indeed a nasty word though. The only thing more on the nasty was the plural, ‘manufacturers.’
Despite the distractions, as a professional gay model, Chris was expected to somehow make it WERK, WURQ and WORK not to mention WORKOUT and everything between with a bend and snap of the finger.
It was A LOT and Chris realized he had taken every version of the word on. He never expected the Inuit people to live up up to every term ever created for snow. Why did he put all this expectation around the gays? Was he putting all this pressure on himself?
Chris needed to get a grasp on his performance. How was he doing? What was he doing? Was he making this photo shoot look easy?
If so, Chris was either putting in too much effort, too into it or possibly Inuit himself. He never did water the family tree to find out, but only because he didn’t know how. He tried tho. Oh how he tried.
Chris stopped himself there. He really needed to stop trying. How could he do that? He didn’t know any other way.
Chris decided to bring himself back to the present tense. Whatever that was had to be better than this brand of timeless self torture. One deep breath in and…
Admittedly the now was hot. The better half of nasty if you know what that means. The jockstrap on his head smelled a little like his boyfriend Brad too.
He worked out.
Wait. Was this his?
(Click!)
That’s when the photographer ran out of memory and yelled, “what the hell was going on?!
Chris said he wasn’t too sure as he kept getting distracted himself. He did though suspect the jockstrap on his head was his boyfriends so wasn’t overly concerned as to what they may snap out of and into. Brad was around somewhere. The jockstrap was still fresh.
Chris’ stomach then rumbled. “Was Cher just here? I feel like pizza.”
That’s when Chris realized the photographer was their neighbor Luke. Apparently he brought over some new weed to watch Mystic Pizza. It was good stuff.