Ac Valhalla - Tumblr Posts
listen, I love how things played out in AC Valhalla’s canon re: Eivor having to rescue Sigurd because, on a personal level, I can’t remember the last canon I consumed where a woman orchestrated a full on siege to save someone she loves (I’m sure it’s out there, I just haven’t seen it yet)
but
I also can’t help thinking about what if Eivor had been the one taken as a hostage instead
I wish Oswald had some sisters because Valdis having to impress them would’ve been funny as hell and, she and him could’ve bonded over dealing with their dumb ass siblings. Valdis flayed a man for insulting her, it’d be hilarious watching her slowly losing her cool before snapping after dealing with passive-aggressive comments all night from bitches who are fucking around and about to find out. Her brothers cheering and losing her shit as she and his sisters are brawling while Oswald is begging them to stop.
More importantly, we’d get a recreation of the Shrek 2 dinner scene with Eivor as the role of Donkey.
I like to headcanon that ivarr and eivor ended their night of drinking by cuddling. like they didn't even have sex they just snuggled and fell asleep.
Me too, I would love a little 😏 on that night, but I like the idea of them opening up about their lives and brothers more. It would really drive home the dysfunctional family vibe that they have with Ceolbert.
Earth to Ceolbert! hello?? connection intermittent while the atheling is smitten
a Judging You™ bonus:
(via AC valhalla eivor (female) | Assassins creed artwork, Assassins creed art, Assassins creed)
I haven’t been able to stop thinking of a sitcom-style office AU featuring the AC ladies and a superb supporting cast, so I need to share:
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when all that’s left is dust / they’ll remember / oh, they’ll remember us
The Ragnarssons‘ Hairdresser Part 2/2
Ivarr
Short hair or long hair?
Dreamy eyes!
I love his smile.
Bonus Ivarr: Shampoo model Ivarr
Yes, I removed the scar. I like to imagine that Ivarr kept his one side shaved hair style after he accepted the scar. So I tried to imagine what a younger Ivarr could have looked like, the one before the Rhodri incident.
And yes, I’m weak for young(er) Ivarr. Sexy man.
_____
Screencaps by @retiredat50 and @harpercybele. Thank you for supporting my madness!
Sorry, I am having one of those days….. I am still thinking about it……sob Tattoo is not the same. But I’m done.
Talking about Sigurd and Dag after Oxenfordshire/Cent/Suthsexe and after the second time you have to deal with Holden in Ravensthorpe…
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Ivarr the Boneless NSFW Alphabet
Ivarr the Boneless x fem!Reader
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Aftercare and Ivarr don’t really go hand-in-hand. Mostly because before you, he never really cared for his partners (who we’re always onetime flings), only his pleasure. That said, he’s getting better from the first times you laid with him because he’s started realizing he likes you (and it’s high-key a terrifying thought to him).
Before, he wouldn’t even stay long after the deed was done, but once the feelings you have for one another start to mature —and you maybe even share a tent (Ivarr claims its easier just to stay with him so he can fuck you whenever, but you suspect something else too)— he starts taking the time to clean you both up, maybe even give a little massage to the bruises his fingertips leave on your thighs and hips. He’s still not so sure about the post-coitus cuddles, but if you want to rest your head on his chest, he’s not going to stop you —he might even wrap an arm around your waist once he thinks you’re asleep.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Ivarr’s favorite part of him is well…all of him. He’s a bit cocksure about his skills in battle and that carries over to how he views himself too. Definitely the type to have the what’s not to love attitude. But if he has to pick a part of him, he’s inclined to say his arms/chest. Years of throwing axes, fighting, and torture even have given him strong arms and a built chest. Perfect for holding you still when you squirm under him or pinning you against a wall or lifting you over his shoulder to parade around camp as his spoils.
If it’s soft and Ivarr can squeeze it, he likes it. Equally likes your ass and tits for that reason, but also has a soft spot for your thighs and stomach.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He’s filthy about cum and has the mindset of the messier, the better. The most primal part of him always wants to cum deep inside you and then watch his seed drip from your cunt —the sight alone is almost enough to get him ready to go another round, and sometimes he cleans his mess by laving it up with his tongue. It’s also an excuse for him to torment your already oversensitive body, drawing another orgasm from you. As much as he likes filling you up, Ivarr also enjoys decorating your skin with his cum —especially your stomach and breasts. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the sight of you on your knees, though. Lips and cheeks painted with his seed. Just the thought is enough to get him riled up.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Keeping secrets isn’t one of Ivarr’s things. He’s loud, he’s open, and he doesn’t care what others think about him, so there aren’t many ‘dirty’ secrets he has that you don’t already know. Ivarr’s never explicitly stated it, but he loves getting you riled up, even if it’s over little things because angry sex is among his favorite types. He enjoys how much you fight against him for control and loves how you both come away with bruises, scratches, and lovebites —it fuels his kink for marking you as his, so everyone knows he’s who claims your body.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Not very, at least, not in the sense of pleasing his partners. Sure, he knows how to fuck hard-and-fast to find his own pleasure, but taking time to make his partner feel good too? That’s foreign territory to Ivarr. One that you have to help him navigate. He’s a quick learner, though, and can play your body like a lyre in no time at all —and having you moan and cry his name is an ego booster, so perhaps there’s something a little selfish behind his motivations to see how many times he can make you come in a night.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
All of them. Ivarr does not care, so long as he can take you and be the one calling the shots. Bent over a table? Yes. You riding him? Yes —you might feel you’re in control on top of him, but Ivarr is always quick to remind you otherwise with a slap on the ass or him moving your hips how he pleases. The sideways position you often find yourselves in for morning sex? Yes. That said, he has a slight preference for being on top of you. It always fills him with pride when he can watch you fall apart beneath him —and pin you down. He’s particularly fond of throwing your legs up on his shoulders and ruining you. It gives him the perfect view to watch how your face contorts and see your body move in time with his hard thrusts.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He doesn’t take anything too seriously, that’s just not his nature (unless it’s the business of king killing —that’s pretty serious), but more often than naught, he just gets lost in the heat of things. Ivarr has his moments, like when he teases you mid-fuck about something. It always makes his heart feel odd when you laugh along with him. He always remembers the time you just fucked on the captain’s desk of some Saxon fort. They were some laughs afterward about the absurdity of it when you were supposed to be collecting intel for Ubba and Halfdan, and they’ll be more laughs, especially if the story is recounted.
H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He’s Viking. Hygiene and appearances are important things to him. Ivarr keeps things neat below the belt, and compared to some men, he doesn’t have all that much body hair to begin with. He has a treasure trail, though —a thin line of dark hair starting just under his naval that transitions into a course thatch of hair the same color.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He’s steadily grown better, much as he has with aftercare. Ivarr loves you. He just has his own way of showing it. He’s more open to giving and receiving kisses while having sex with you. He doesn’t shrug you off when you try to touch the scar on his face or the others strewn across his body. There are times when he wants to show you how much he cares for you, but his pride and ego won’t let him —he is a drengr and doesn’t want to do anything that might make you or others perceive him as weak. It doesn’t really matter, though. You both know how you feel for one another and have accepted it. More intimacy may come in time, but for now, you are content with Ivarr’s strange ways of showing affection. Because who else can make bringing you the head of an enemy romantic?
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Not often, but he does it and never thinks too much of it. He’s more inclined to rub one out if he’s away from you for a while. Otherwise, he keeps his sexual frustrations cooped up to help him fight harder in battle, but gods have mercy when he finally gets a hold of you again.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Ivarr has a power kink. He likes to be in control at all times. He’s jealous and possessive and most certainly has a kink for marking you as his —he always makes sure to leave you with bruises, scratches, and lovebites, and if you do the same in return? All the better. He’ll make sure all of England and Norway know you belong only to one another. Has a kink for knife and blood play (and just so we’re clear, Ivarr is 100% down for messy period sex, too). He’s a bit of a sadist but never pushes too far unless you’re a willing participant. Maybe he’s a bit of an exhibitionist too with his affinity for picking places to fuck where there’s always a threat of being caught.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Ivarr is down to fuck anywhere. Hell, he’d fuck you mid-battle if he could. You mention having a romp in a monastery? He’s ready to lay you out on the altar like a gift for the gods. An enemy fortress or camp? Been there. The tent next to his brothers so he can keep them up all night after some petty disagreement? Yes. That said, he’s not against a more traditional setting; it’s your tent or assigned bedchambers where you both fuck the most, but he’s not going to let an opportunity pass to get the thrill of fucking your somewhere he probably shouldn’t.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
It does not take much, at all, to get Ivarr going —his general horniness rivals his bloodlust, no doubt. One of the easiest ways to get his blood running hot is to spar with him. You’ll both end up rolling around on the ground, fighting to pin each other down, and before you know it, Ivarr’s hard cock is grinding against you, and he’s ready to haul you off to your tent —or he can take you there in the training yards at midday, either is good with him. After a fight gets him going too. There’s just something about seeing you with blood on your armor and weapon that spurs him into action. Sometimes, you don’t even know what you’ve done to get yourself pinned against a wall or to the ground with Ivarr on top of you. He gets the impulse from a thought, then acts on it.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
He’s not going to do anything to seriously hurt you, whether that be physically or with demeaning names. Sure, sometimes he gets a little too rough, but he’s always quick to tone it back when you make your discomfort known or if he senses you’re not enjoying yourself. And while he’s been known to call you his whore or slut in private and in the throes of pleasure, he knows when he takes the names too far and will stop the instant he sees it’s bothering you more than turning you on.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Slight preference in receiving over giving, but he does love to give and does so willingly. He loves the way you look on your knees with his cock in your mouth —submissive to him. It plays into his power kink. Ivarr doesn’t expect you to suck him off, but if you want to, he’s certainly not going to stop you and will always repay you in kind. Ivarr is talented with his tongue, though. He takes great pride in how quickly he can turn you into a writhing mess by making your cunt into a feast (he’s like a parched man finding an oasis in the desert every time) and will unapologetically have you sit on his face when he’s in a particularly feral mood. He likes waking you up by going down on you and says you’re his favorite meal.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He’s a rough lover, even at his gentlest. Ivarr makes it known he’s not patient either in any aspect of his life. Even if he wants to be slow and teasing, he can’t —his patience will not allow it (sometimes he manages to hold out long enough to hear you beg, that’s a rarity, though). If he’s feeling particularly romantic, he tries his very best to be slower, but it usually just ends up all the same —not that you mind, Ivarr always leaves you satisfied and aching for more.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He loves them. Ivarr is down to fuck at pretty much any given moment if you are. Before battles? Absolutely. A quickie after you've both worked up a sweat? He's down for it. If you sit on his lap during feasts or meetings, he’s been known to pull you aside for a quickie, returning with your clothes all disheveled and hair in the mess. Ivarr has no shame, being more than happy to indulge your sexual whims even if it's not always the best timing.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
If you’re down, Ivarr is. Simple as that. He’s not going to force you to do anything you don’t want —he respects and loves you too much for that— though sometimes he pushes the envelope a little if only to open your mind to the possibilities. That's how he found out how much you like it when his hand is wrapped around your neck, not squeezing, just applying gentle pressure to let you know who's in control and what he's capable of. The most common risk you and Ivarr take tends to be the location you choose for your naughty escapades, but even if the place is risky, he’s always got an axe nearby.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He’s in peak physical condition for his age and has more than enough stamina to leave you satiated. When Ivarr is not tired from battle or training, or even lack of sleep, you can expect two or three longer than average rounds with him. They may not happen back-to-back, but he’s going to make sure you feel the ache between your legs by the morning. Sometimes he brags that he’s better now than when he was younger, which you’re inclined to believe with how he can make you sing his name.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
No. Ivarr would honestly be envious of any toys because he wants to be the one bringing you such pleasure. And he’s more than capable of doing so with his hands, mouth, and cock —why would you need anything else when you have him? If rope or the grey sash he uses for a belt counts as toys, then he’s unknowingly used them when tying you up for “punishment.”
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
The king of teasing, especially outside of bedroom situations in the moments leading up to a romp. His dirty talk is absolutely vulgar, and he loves leaning over to whisper in your ear all the things he’s thinking about doing to you so he can watch your face burn and you squirm in your seat. Ivarr also likes to toy with you at events where it’s important to keep a good image (like feasts and meetings), he’ll lay his hand on your inner thigh under the table, rubbing circles with his thumb, or he’ll tug on your hair to get your attention before nibbling at your ear and neck. He makes it where you’re ready to jump his bones by the time you’re leaving said event.
Sometimes you tease him about being called “Boneless” because you know what some people believe the epithet means. If you do tease him about that, he’s more than happy to show you the opposite is true. Ivarr enjoys the back-and-forth teasing and is generally a good sport about it, he gets a good laugh every time you call him old man. And even if your dirty talk isn’t on the same level as his, you can still get him a little fidgety with a hand on the thigh or a kiss and nip at the pulse point of his neck.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
IIvarr is a noisy boy and sometimes, given the situation or location, he’s a lot louder than he needs to be, comically so. He mostly does it to get a rouse from you as you try to hush him with a hand clamped over his mouth or by pressing your lips against his. He swears. A lot. You’ll never forget the first time he slid his cock into you with a strangled moan, arms shaking with restraint as he told you how fucking good you felt around him. Ivarr doesn’t talk much during sex besides the occasion string of profanities and breathy moans of your name —it’s mostly grunts and groans, which are equally as hot. But Ivarr does love hearing you whimper and plead for him not to stop or to get a little rougher —it’s music to his ears.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
The only time Ivarr has surrendered control and been a remotely ‘slow-and-gentle’ lover was when he was injured. He’d been gone for weeks doing something for Halfdan that didn’t hold his attention, and for that, he got a nasty wound. When his fellow drengrs hauled him back, you patched him, having to suture the gash. Even half-dead, his mind was on you. At first, you refuted his advance because he was hurt, and you didn’t want to deal with a bedridden Ivarr any longer than you had to. But you gave in. The look in his pale eyes was haunting as you climbed on top of him —his hands on your hips as you sank on his cock, but not controlling. Ivarr let you have the moment, taking him slowly, and it’s one of the reasons he tries his best to be patient and take things a little slower now.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He’s average, maybe even a smidgen thicker and longer, more of a grower than a shower. Ivarr’s cock is quite veiny, though, and he knows how much you love the feel of those veins dragging against the walls of your cunt.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
It’s fairly high, as seen with his willingness to have quickies but not every night need end in sex for Ivarr. As much as he loves fucking you, the more he’s around you and comes to terms with his feelings, (which, oh boy, that’s another can of worms) the more he notices he's just as content to spend time with you. He’s as content sharpening your weapons together, or talking about dreams, or even spending time with the twig Ceolbert as he is when he’s buried deep in your cunt. And it’s the moment Ivarr realizes this that he knows he’s fucked.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
He tries to let you fall asleep before he does, and sometimes it works, but more often than naught, he zonks out pretty quickly afterward. There’s enough time for cleaning each other up, maybe a few kisses and cuddles too, but don’t expect much pillow talk. You don’t mind when he falls asleep first because you find yourself admiring him in a way that never happens when he's awake —lightly tracing the tattoos on his arms and chest and even the scar on his face. Sometimes you wake him up doing that. He’ll grumble about it half-asleep and unwittingly pull you closer to him (he refuses to say he’s cuddling, though).
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Ivarr the Boneless, Hjarta Tattoo
“I love them whipped, weeping and reeking of piss.”
