I'm Not Crying You're Crying

I'm not crying you're crying 😂😭

I adore this! And I need others to see it too.

money troubles

Januarys in Tulsa were a different kind of hell. You wouldn’t think it would get that cold in Oklahoma, but Darry was surprised every year when December rolled around. His brothers hoarded blankets, stacking them as high as they could go. January and February were even worse.

It was his first winter without his parents, without his father’s salary. Heat was expensive, more so since their windows were thin and the doors couldn’t shut properly. Darry held out as long as possible before turning the heating on.

Pony grumbled a little, wrapping up in blankets and wearing Darry’s old football sweatshirts over every outfit. 

One night in December, Darry was half asleep when his bedroom door opened and his brothers padded their way over to his bed. He barely had enough time to wake up before they crawled on top of him and settled down. Before he could ask what was wrong, he felt Pony’s cold toes being pressed to his shin.

“Y’all are freezing,” Darry murmured as Soda snuggled into his side, forcing his cold nose against Darry’s shoulder. He sighed and rubbed their backs, “I’ll turn on the heat tomorrow.” With his Christmas bonus, they would be fine with the added expense. 

January was when things got hard. 

It was midnight and Darry sat alone at the dining table. When finances were tight, he always did the bookkeeping after the boys went to bed. He didn’t need them worrying, that was his job. And based on his calculations, they’d have to cut back somewhere. It was heat or food. 

Darry’s head fell into his hands. What the hell was he supposed to do? He never wished for his parents more than he did at that moment. A tear dripped onto the notebook paper in front of him. 

He could eat less, leave more for everyone else. That would save some money at least. But not nearly enough. Pony had track, he needed to be eating his fill. And if they didn’t eat with them, he didn’t know where half the gang would get their next meal. 

But if he turned off the heat, well he honestly didn’t know what would happen. He knew he couldn’t stand to see his brothers shivering in the cold, he couldn’t watch them bundle up and pretend nothing was wrong.

What the hell was he supposed to do?

He didn’t hear the front door opening, or the footfalls in the entryway. He didn’t know that Two-Bit was inside until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Darry jumped, raising his hands defensively.

Two-Bit smirked and raised his hands, “Woah there, cowboy.” Then he saw the tears in Darry’s eyes. “What’s goin’ on? Is everyone okay?”

“Everyone’s fine.” Darry swallowed thickly and ran a hand over his face, “Ain’t nothing for you to worry about. The couch is open if you want to crash.”

Two-Bit’s eyes fell to the page in front of Darry and his eyes widened. Too late, Darry moved to cover it. Two had already seen. “Shit, I didn’t know things were that bad.”

“It’s none of your business,” Darry said shortly. He closed the notebook and slid it under a newspaper. 

He tried to stand up, but Two put a hand on his shoulder and forced him to stay seated. Two-Bit sat down in Pony’s usual chair. He was quiet for a long moment, leg jogging under him. Then he nodded to himself and started digging in his pockets.

A moment later, he put a handful of crumpled bills and a stack of coins in front of Darry. Based on his quick math, it was almost twenty five dollars.

“I’m not takin’ your money.” Darry leaned back as though physical distance could make the money go away. “Where did you even get this much money?”

Two-Bit shrugged, “Texas Hold ‘Em, odd jobs for a guy my ma knows. It’s not even that much money.” It was. It would be enough for food and heat and extra for next month.

“I can’t take this,” Darry pushed it towards his friend. He and Two-Bit had been pals for as long as he could remember, they practically grew up together. Two-Bit was a good guy, Darry trusted him with his family more than anyone else. He knew that Two could use this money for his mom or his sister. Why on earth would he give it to Darry?

“You need it. It’s not even that much.” Two-Bit sighed and for the first time in a long time, Darry didn’t smell alcohol on him. “Look, you help me and the boys, you give us food and…” He nodded his head towards the bedrooms, “I know Johnny is sleeping in the spare room. You forced him to so he wouldn’t sleep outside.” Darry looked down, it was true. “Exactly. So take the goddamn money and keep your kid brothers warm. And the rest of us yahoos that traipse through your door.”

Darry stared at Two-Bit, saying nothing. Two-Bit rolled his eyes, “It should not be this hard to convince a guy to take money.” 

“I don’t-”

“Darry.” Two-Bit and Darry turned around to see Soda standing in the doorway. His hair was all a mess and he looked like he was still half asleep. “What’s going on?”

Darry threw on a smile, “A stray just wandered through the door.” He slapped Two-Bit on the shoulder. “Figured I’d let him stay the night and then go from there. Ya think we should keep him?”

Soda chuckled, “Just until morning.” He yawned. “Y’all need to talk quieter. Pony and Johnny are fast asleep.”

“Will do,” Darry told him. “Goodnight, Pepsi.” Soda just yawned again and waved before plodding back to bed. Darry’s eyes stayed at where he was for a long moment. Then he turned back to his friend. 

Soda and Pony deserved a home that was warm and safe and with enough food for them and all their friends. They needed this money. He could suffer the shame of accepting money from a friend just this once. 

So he grit his teeth and said, “I don’t want to be makin’ a habit of this.”

Two-Bit grinned, “Wouldn’t dream of it, superman.” 

He squeezed Darry’s shoulder, “I’m going to sleep on the couch, tell Johnny that I get the bed next time.” Darry snorted and shook his head, that was never going to happen.

Darry looked at the pile of money for a long moment. His hands shook ever so slightly as he tucked it into the coffee can on top of the fridge. 

When he turned back, Soda was standing in the doorway again, watching him. He seemed more awake now. They just looked at each other for a long moment.

Soda crossed the room in two strides and hugged Darry. Just from that, Soda knew Darry had heard, or at least seen his exchange with Two-Bit. He knew that Soda worried about him, probably far too much. To Soda, Darry accepting help was nothing short of a miracle. 

“I love you,” Soda said softly. “You’re doing a really good job.”

Darry’s throat became thick with tears and he held Soda just a little tighter. “Thank you, honey.” Since their parents died, he’d been adrift, trying desperately to keep everything together. He kissed Soda’s head, “I love you too.” Darry pulled back and pushed Soda’s hair out of his face. Without all that grease, Soda’s hair was constantly covering his eyes. “Go back to bed.”

Soda huffed, “What if I don’t wanna?”

Darry couldn’t help the laugh that bust from his chest, “You’re soundin’ an awful lot like Ponyboy.”

“And he’s my favorite brother, so what?” Soda said sarcastically, earning him a thawk on the head from Darry. A few months ago, that would have hurt, even if it was a joke. Now he knew his brother was being a knucklehead, delirious in his sleep-addled mind. 

“Go to bed, short stack,” Darry said, giving Soda a light shove towards the hallway. “I’ll be right behind you.”

Soda smirked. He gave Darry another quick squeeze before darting back towards his bed. Darry followed him a few minutes later. 

Unable to help himself, he ducked his head into the spare room where Johnny and Pony had fallen asleep. The two of them were curled towards each other like parentheses, Pony’s thumb still holding place in his book.

With a fond smile, he leaned over the bed and pulled the book from his brother’s hands. He slipped a bookmark in and set it to the side table. Both the boys were covered in a thick blanket. Darry adjusted it around their shoulders.

One of Johnny’s eyes squinted open, “What?”

Just like he would one of his brothers, Darry touched his head affectionately, “Just me, buddy. Go back to sleep.” His heart warmed at the trust Johnny displayed as he closed his eyes again and snuggled back down. That was why he needed the money, Johnny needed a safe place to stay.

Darry closed the bedroom door and then moved to check on Soda. His idiot brother was still awake, not even pretending to sleep. Darry leaned into the door frame, “Golly, you’d think you were six, not sixteen.”

Soda stuck his tongue out, only proving Darry’s point. “I’m goin’ to sleep. Wanted to make sure you didn’t try to pull an all-nighter.”

“Goodnight, Soda,” Darry said meaningfully. 

“Night.” Soda snuggled down into bed with a content look on his face. Darry smiled and finally headed back to his bedroom. 

children. they're both children.

i need to rant about this because it’s so fucking sad, i literally cried over this last night lmao

in x-men 97’ Rogue is asked to join Magneto’s side, to run Genova with him. She hesitates, but agrees. When she goes to break the news to Gambit, he’s shocked. He loves Rogue more than anything, his heart beats for her alone, which is why he doesn’t beg or cry, but instead calmly agrees to be her friend if he can’t be her lover. Even though it kills a part of him.

So Rogue leaves, to chase after the past, to chase after her dream of a lover she can touch. Gambit had tried to tell her love runs deeper than skin, but Rogue was convinced it wasn’t enough.

She floats down the steps, in a stunning red dress, and without gloves. WITHOUT GLOVES!!! Magneto meets her eyes and floats up to join her and the two dance in the air, their hands locked the entire time. Their dance is so tender, their touches slow and lingering and full of passion.

Below them, from the ground, Gambit watches. He watches the woman he loves share an act so intimate and full of love, an act he would’ve risked his life for if only Rogue had listened to him when he’d pleaded to hold her hand for even just a moment. He could’ve shouted at her, he could’ve let his pain bleed through into anger and no one around him would’ve blamed him. But he doesn’t. Because he loves her. And if Magneto is what she needs to be happy, than he will walk away.

He doesn’t see the doubt in Rogue’s eyes. He doesn’t see her kiss him, he doesn’t hear her telling Magneto that, even with their touch, their love can’t compare to what she has with Gambit. And when he dies only minutes later, sacrificing himself to assure the safety of not only Genova but the safety of Rogue, he dies with the memory of Rogue dancing with another man.

this is gut wrenching.

Tomorrow, there will be a slight spam from my account as I post/promote fics that I've written and promoted to Twitter. There's a good 35 now, because I so do love my writing events.

Would you guys like me to still continue to promote my fics here on Tumblr? I have ... A number of fics to promote if so, like... A lot of fics (at least 25, maybe upwards to 30) and it would be a little spammy (I do so love my writing events where I need to post every day LOL)

Jfjskfns would absolutely love to hear this au of yours!!

some silly little headcanons i have specifically for my au of the outsiders that i felt the need to write down all in one place.

after their parents died, darry made a deal with the state that he could keep his brothers as long as they're able to support themselves

so darry got three jobs, roofer, contractor, and uh...yk what.

two-bit who was almost 18 started working at a grocery store cause i said so

dally managed to get a job as a bartender at bucks

and ofc soda and steve work at the dx

johnny and pony don't have jobs yet cause the others don't want them to because they're "too young"

(when really they're 14 and 15 and are in fact old enough)

when everyone else is at work, johnny and pony stay home and watch movies. like binge watch.

they once thought they could handle horror movies.

they couldnt.

they were latching on to darry when he got home.

dinner at their house is chaotic.

they're yapping over each other and darry's trying to get them to settle down so that people don't report a noise complaint on them.

how to bribe the curtises?

not money.

not gold.

these big backs only listen when there's dessert involved.

even after a 12 course meal, if they're hungry in the middle of the night and sneak out to the kitchen, there will most likely already be someone there

steve and soda used to share a room.

keyword: used to

they would stay up all night giggling and shi

same thing with pony and johnny.

so steve and pony swapped rooms.

darry regrets it cause now soda and pony cant stop giggling, but he can't stop it so he just gave up

so therefore dally and two bit share a room.

dally isn't thrilled

two bit yaps

dally needs sleep or he'll be grumpy in the morning

but two-bit contradicts him saying that dally is gonna be grumpy either way.

and then dally comes at him about still living in the house as an adult and then teases him for his lack of ability to pull

dally would try to find a way to get darry to let him sleep in his room if darry weren't such a heavy snorer

(dally snores too)

(but he refuses to accept it)

darrys the type to need his morning coffee before speaking to anyone

dal just doesnt want to speak to anyone

ponys a night owl.

they'll tell him to go to sleep and pony will be like "just one more chapter"

but he keeps reading and suddenly the birds are chirping

johnny tried to protest this once back when they shared a room

to say he'll stay awake too unless pony goes to sleep

he fails and ends up falling asleep.

pony gives him a pat on the head and continues to stay awake until the sun shined through the window.

pony then proceeds to sleep the day away

(same)