Employer: So, Sam, What Did You Do Prior To Applying At Claires?

Employer: So, Sam, what did you do prior to applying at Claire’s?

Sam: Oh, I was a Frog wrangler.

Employer: …A frog wrangler?

Sam: Yep, full time.

When my boyfriend saw this he spent quite a while trying to absorb the magnitude of the mental gymnastics used to come up with that argument.

hoNEEEYYY!!! PLS! write more of those AMAZING lost boiiiisss headcanons they were amaaaziiiinggggggggg!!!!💕☄💕☄💕☄💕

AGHGHGG OKAY!!! That you so much!! I didn’t think people would like them that much??

Paul loves watching Revenge of the Nerds and he makes everyone watch with him. So when Takashi starts banging on the drums in the end, he’ll point at Dwayne and go “Is that you?” Dwayne lets Marko hit the shit out of him for that.

David is weirdly good at old Nintendo games. So he makes a point to challenge everyone at least once a week.

Marko doesn’t actually hate twilight, in fact he tried animal’s blood for a few months. But, when he realized that he never had pure red eyes to begin with… They jusy weren’t going to change.

Dwayne is the father of the group, he even tried to ground Paul for a week but mama bear David swooped in and saved the fuzzy menace.

David then later grounded Paul for 3 weeks behind Dwayne’s back because whatever he said he didn’t do, David knew he did it and more.

Laddie is a sucker for dinosaurs and aliens combined. He wasn’t black or white, always in the middle.

One time Star had to buy him custom made dinos in space shirts. He grew out of that phase fast.

Star had lactose intolerance before she became a vampire, and when she told the boys Marko thought he had the vampire version of it.

He did not.

Michael went through stages of earrings from Star. He couldn’t ever choose which one he liked the best.

David actually forces Michael and Star to go to night school.

David found out he was bi when he saw Star kiss a girl. He talked to her about it and she suggested it.

He tested it out on a random bystander and then they slept together.

When he came out to his boys, Dwayne came out as gay, Marko pan, Star bi as hell, MICHAEL IS DEF BISEXUAL. HE OGGLED STAR AND DAVID HARD. Oh and Paul is gay.

Laddie doesn’t fuckin get anythinh they’re talking about. He just wants to ride the big rides.

One time Michael was left to babysit Laddie and when everyone came back he was crying and telling the small boy that he was his son.

Star started crying.

When Star cries, no one is happy.

Paul is actually pretty soft spoken at home, careful to not startle anyone.

Paul and Star have a good brother and sister relationship.

Marko forgets what time period he’s in sometimes and he keeps asking Paul if he wants to ball.

It confuses Paul, but then David yells “He wants to top you.”

The first time Star feeds, only Laddie and Michael are with her.

They all feed, causing a bigger bond to form between them.

Dwayne is still a bit afraid of the dark sometimes, he hopes that being the thing that people are afraid of will help him get over it.

Marko leaves little notes around the cave. Each one is addressed to certain people.

Paul has all of his in his pockets.

Dwayne keeps them in his shoes.

David rips his off the walls angrily, but he had Star make him a small bag to keep them on him.

Star rolls them up and ties them to her hair.

Michael puts them with his bike, keeping them close.

Laddie has them all over his bed, loving the weird feel.

Paul write them for Marko on occasion as well.

reblog to pet the sad cat 　　　　　　 ＿＿ 　　　　　／＞　　フ 　　　　　|  　_　 _ l 　 　　　／` ミ＿xノ 　　 　 /　　　 　 | 　　　 /　 ヽ　　 ﾉ 　 　 │　　|　|　| 　／￣|　　 |　|　| 　| (￣ヽ＿_ヽ_)__) 　＼二つ

one thing I’m grateful to my mom for is telling me from a very young age that if a man ever says he’ll kill me if I don’t do what he says, that I should fight and die. that it would be better to die than to be brought to a second location, it would be better to die instantly than live a little longer after god knows how much violation. i know that other people’s moms gave different advice, to be quiet so you can live and get away. little girls all got some kind of advice on what to do, though, huh? like… WHEN a man wants to hurt you. it’s surreal to think about how this shadow affects the landscape of girlhood

makin a damn mess