Sydney One Shot Is Incoming But I Have Freshers Flu (for The Uninitiated, It's The Horrendous Flu/illness

Sydney one shot is incoming but I have freshers flu (for the uninitiated, it's the horrendous flu/illness you get during the first week of uni) and so I have been literally lying in bed and sleeping all day. I am so ill and classes start tomorrow. I regret going out out these past two weeks.

Clubbing is so fun but I'm SO ill 😭

hi! i just saw your masterlist and it said ‘retired characters’. does that means you’re not gonna write for them again orrr?? i love your writing btwww<33

Hi nonnie!!

My retired characters are characters I'm currently not writing for, but that doesn't mean I won't ever write for them again. They're just characters that I currently don't have much of an interest in!

my adhd(?)/autistic(!) brain goes through the typical hyperfixation, rinse, repeat, cycle. i don't wanna say I'll never write for those characters again because i do have a tendency to return to old fandoms but as of right now I'm just not really feeling them.

(apologies for taking so long to reply, i have had a hell of a week)

safe (carmy berzatto x reader)

prompt; day one, 'scary movies'

content warning(s); paranoid reader, anxious carmy (what's new)

summary; you don't like scary movies and watched one anyway so when carmy gets home, you're a little jumpy.

word count; 1,015

promptober masterlist

i couldn't help but have a bit of carmy comfort in here... i had just watched the start of season 3 when i wrote this and so it skewers a little but i hope you enjoy nevertheless :))

You hadn’t meant to watch the whole movie. You hated horror and Scream was one you had avoided as much as you could. But it was gripping and as the late night came in, you couldn’t pull yourself away from it. It was addicting but it made you so paranoid.

As soon as the credits rolled, you regretted watching every second of the movie. You had jumped at every single scare and now you were living in a state of paranoia. The silence of the credits made it seem like every noise in the apartment building was ten times louder. Every creak made you jump and your head snapped back, looking at every shadow, terrified that something would be lingering.

Carmy still wasn’t back from the Bear. He had texted you saying he would be late a few hours ago. But you wanted him here, you wished he was home.

But he wasn’t so, you just had to face this alone. You took a deep breath. It would be fine. You needed to shake the paranoia before he got back or you knew he would be teasing you. Or he would scare you. Neither of which you particularly wanted.

So, you switched the TV off and slipped off the sofa. You flicked the lights on, not having had the chance to since you were so engrossed in the movie as the sun set over Chicago. You then headed into the bathroom. You were desperate to pee and you were quick to do your business, thinking over and over again about what you could do if someone came into the bathroom.

You had locked the door so nobody could get in. At least not easily, as long as they didn’t have an axe or some shit. You let out a ragged breath as you washed your hands, staring at yourself in the mirror.

“Don’t be an idiot,” You said to yourself, hoping it would somehow stop the way your brain ran away with itself. Every noise made you overthink and over analyse your entire evening.

You knew you were safe. 

You were in Carmy’s apartment.

You were safe.

You repeated “You’re safe, you’re okay” to yourself over and over again in your head, letting the words repeat like a mantra as you walked out of the bathroom.

For a moment, you thought you’d be fine but when you stepped out of the bathroom, you were met with an unfamiliar and unannounced figure. You yelped, hand coming up to your mouth as you jumped back. Your brain ran through every horrible scenario in one second flat before you realised it was Carmy. You would recognise those shoulders and curly mess of hair anywhere.

His eyes were wide as he looked back at you, looking equally as startled.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Bear,” You breathed out, heart thumping against your rib cage, “Scared the fuckin’ shit out of me.” He couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped his lips as he walked over to you. He gently reached out for your hip, tugging you closer to him.

“Thought you’d be asleep,” He confessed. You shook your head, rubbing the side of your face with your hand.

“No, not got there yet. Was watching some Scream movie, scared the shit out of me,” You admitted, mumbling the last bit, embarrassed to admit it. Carmy couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips. You smacked his chest playfully, pouting.

“That why all the lights are on?” He asked. You nodded and he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face, replacing the exhaustion that usually sat heavy.

“How was work?” You asked softly as you pulled yourself into him. Your face nuzzled into his chest and he tensed for a moment, still not used to your affection but then settling into it.

“Service was okay but they’re too slow, it’s too slow. Sydney wants this star and I can’t- I need to get it for her but-- but nobody is working with me- I-” You could feel the heave of his chest, his hands gripping you unusually tightly. You looked up at him, looking into his eyes. The anxiety had been weighing him down lately and you wanted to take it from him, wanted to take it all but you couldn’t. Just like he couldn’t do that for you. So you instead moved your hands into his hair.

“Look at me, Bear,” You coaxed, catching his gaze, “You can’t do everything at once,” You whispered softly as you pressed your forehead against his. He tried to resist, wanting to scream and shout and tell that he could but you calmed him down. His body melted into you, the thought of having an argument suddenly unappealing, “It’ll be okay. You just need to calm down, let’s go to bed, okay? Let me just help your brain switch off?” You asked. He nodded. He wanted to tell you that it never stopped, that you could do everything and it would only come back.

But he stopped before he said anything. He just nodded.

“Okay,” He murmured. You pressed a kiss to his lips and then slowly pulled back. A sudden creak from the apartment above made you jump out of your skin and a laugh fell from Carmy’s lips at the way you jumped. He couldn’t help himself, a grin spreading across his face as he looked at you, “You really are jumpy, huh?” He teased. You rolled your eyes but nodded, unable to deny it. He chuckled and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Let me check you locked the door and then we can get a shower, that okay Bear?” You asked. Carmy nodded and you let go of his hand to head over and check the door before you returned to his side, ready to take a nice long shower with him. It would take more than just a temporary distraction for Carmy to let go of the anxiety that had plagued him for as long as he could remember but you were a good temporary fix.

I love finding new pics. Look how cute he is.

( from @/andrewcphan )

saying i need him is an understatement

250 posts!

i am nothing if not a yapper, whoops